Self parenting: reclaiming our bodies and our playfulness.

Ever seen a 70-something-year-old man try yoga for the first time—without a single complaint? That’s my dad. He showed up, no hesitation, no excuses—just pure presence. And it got me thinking: What if we all approached life like that?

I’m sharing a chapter from Rants and Ramblings on Life and Wellness about the time my dad joined me for a workout. He was all in, and it was a lesson in self-parenting—reclaiming our bodies, making space for play, and treating ourselves with the kind of care we usually reserve for others.

So let’s talk about showing up for ourselves, no perfection required. Because—spoiler alert—we deserve it.

Key Talking Points of the Episode: 

[00:40] Happy Fathers’ Day!

[05:36] What’s coming down the pike for these live sessions

[08:11] My inspiration to write my book, Rants, and Ramblings on Life and Wellness

[10:10] What’s your perspective of a father figure?

[11:45] A snippet from my book

[11:56] What is a body reclamation and repair work out?

[13:36] When does the playfulness leave us?

Checkout Our Blog called Tune-In for episode recaps and more show notes.

Chapters

• 0:27 Intro
• 1:58 Self Parenting
• 3:10 Junteenth
• 6:10 A bit about the podcast
• 11:05 Passages
• 13:15 Body reclamation
• 17:35 Trying something new

Transcript

Host: Delia Grenville (00:26):

This. How are you this morning? First of all, welcome again to this week's episode of the To Live List. So glad to have you all on here. I have a few things to talk about today. First things first, today is International Father's Day. I know in some countries they celebrated already and you know, they had their own National Father's Day, but today's International Father's Day. So to all of the dads out there who are parenting Happy Father's Day, acknowledging you to my own father, our own father, there's three of us. Happy Father's Day to my dad and to all of us who have a pay a dad like role or a you know, who, or have a, a dad figurehead in their lives. Happy Father's Day to that person too. I think a lot of times these kinds of holidays bring up for a lot of people different kinds of emotions and have different impacts on them depending on how their life has been. 

 (01:31):

So, wanting to be respectful to everyone out there, hoping to cover the gamut in terms of the celebratory. And, and for those of us who, this is a moment where we end up parenting ourselves as part of our own self-care because, you know, maybe our needs weren't met in the father area or the idea of what a father should be, then I hope some time is spent on reflecting on that. A lot of times in our own life and wellness, we do have to do some, what I call self parenting, right? And, uh, acknowledge that, you know, life doesn't work out perfectly for everybody, and it shouldn't, you know, we all have our issues one way or the other. What looks perfect to somebody else in our lives might not have been our experience. And I just wanna make sure that everyone has a moment and takes some time to reflect on, you know, what they wanna acknowledge in this day, right? 

 (02:29):

Because it's not just the, the commercial interpretation of the day, right? It's, it's how we feel and what we experience as people going through this life. So for all the dads out there who, you know, who are experiencing this day, and for all of us who have fathers and all of us whose fa for some of us whose fathers have departed and whose father figures are elsewhere, I hope that you're having a good day today. So, that's enough about Father's Day. I, I hope everyone feels acknowledged. Um, <laugh>, let's, uh, let's move on to the day that it is today is Juneteenth. So I promised today in the opening that, uh, we'd have a little bit of Father's Day, a little bit of Juneteenth and a and some life and wellness. So, yeah, so today is Juneteenth. It's actually June 19th today, and this is a, the first year I think it's going to be officially commemorated as a federal holiday. 

 (03:28):

Well, at least we've had a year long ramp to it. And this is the day, if you are joining from elsewhere, that America's last African slaves were notified descendants of the African slave trade were notified that, uh, slavery had ended. It happened in Texas in 1865, and slavery had ended officially in 1863, but there was no internet. So, um, it took a while to get the word out to everyone. And these people had been working in that kind of, um, uh, well in that human trafficking slave situation for two years, unknowing that they had their true human freedoms. So it's an important part of the history, a difficult history of this country, as many of you'll know, and becoming free for those last slaves, of course, should. It was a period of jubilation. So the celebration has that and has that component to it, some jubilation, but it also is the celebration of the end of something that was really egregious and just, you know, it, it was, it isn't the best reflection of who we are as humans to be trafficking other humans. 

 (04:39):

So that's a very difficult part of it, but you know, it, that part of the history also needs to be acknowledged. And the fact that it ended also needs to be acknowledged. So, you know, that we came to some other way of being as humans is always something to, to celebrate no matter how difficult the circumstances. So today's Juneteenth, I don't have any particular Juneteenth plans. Uh, just acknowledging that, you know, we have come through this journey for many of us, like myself, I, I'm an immigrant from Canada and my parents were immigrants to, to Canada. I mean, we stand on the, the shoulders, so many people who have come before us. And, um, I think that, you know, uh, as being a descent of the African  diaspora, I mean you really recognize that from the very beginning. So, shifting gears a little bit today, I just wanted to really focus on what's coming down the pike for these live sessions. 

(05:44):

I'm going to continue to come on live to talk a little bit about my book here, ransom Ramblings on Life and Wellness and Where Appropriate we're gonna have guests. I'm lining up guests now for the rest of the summer. So on occasion, there'll be someone joining me here just to talk about one of the topics that we can go in deeply. Just to remind everyone, the book is on Amazon right now. So if you will please go out and get a copy. Also, feel free to drop in the comments if you have a book club or a speaker's forum or something like that, that you would like me to participate in. Definitely looking to connect with the reader. We had a great conversation last week with Amy and when the to live list podcast website is up, I'll make sure to let everybody here or no so that you can start downloading the podcast, listening to on podcast forums and sharing the podcasts with your friends. 

 (06:43):

So, in honor of dads, I had a couple of these that I wanted to share. I thought it would be appropriate. This one's really, uh, compact and just sort of a reminder of all that we have going on with us. So let's start first, and I'm trying to make sure that I say this in every session around the call to action around rans and rambling a little bit about how you get started once you get this book. I'm gonna read from the preface, and for those of you who don't know me, I'm Delia Grenville. I'm the author of Rants and  Rambling. I am a mom, a speaker, author, a creative, an engineered by training, and I am a full supporter of art, including my own. What I wanted to share here today is part of the beginning of what I believe is some of the conversations that we need to start having. 

(07:38):

We're struggling as a society with conversations, having deep conversations and sort of reflecting on what it is we truly believe so we can get to a future that is the right future for, or the best future or the most appropriate future for our own values, but not just us by as individuals, but us as a community. So it means a little bit of compromise, right? And in order to compromise, we have to know what's going on within ourselves so that we can talk more to others. So how do you get started once you get your own copy of Rants and Rambling? I'll read from the book, I have always wanted a book to read with new ideas, big ideas. I imagined a book that was easy to follow and perhaps even reread, but with enough space to inject my own experience into what I was reading, I could never find a book that was exactly what I was looking for, creating the book that I was searching for became the inspiration to design the ransom rambling series on wisdom topics in short bursts that the reader could pause and reflect on. 

 (08:44):

Every title is a short post similar to your journal. Each post was designed to have at least one big idea and often several more ideas that, that you can reflect on. So my call to action, and I'm gonna read one of these later, is as you read through each post, think of each title, more like a conversation than anything else. Stop to pause and reflect. Close your eyes and take a deep breath as you check in on your own experiences. Highlight at least one big idea that aligns with your values or one that challenges your viewpoint. Use those ideas as conversation starters or as part of your next social media post. The goal of rants and ramblings on what? Life on Wellness. Oh yes, today. Let me say that again. The goal of rans and ramblings on life and wellness is for you to take time to ponder and to reflect on your self-care and how you advocate on your own health. I share my story. So you may be part of the story by reflecting on your own experiences by the end of the book. My hope is that each reader will strengthen their perspective on their life and wellness. 

 (10:02):

I wanted to share this one cuz this is Father's Day. It's really, really short. And I wanted, as we talked a little bit about our fathers or our father figures or you know, and those people that helped us and gave us sort of that perspective that might be a different energy from our own. Some of us have quiet fathers, some of us have Ramas fathers and everything in between. Some of us who have fathers who are always, who are always present and there, and some of us have fathers who are there but not present and, you know, all different combinations. We've all, we all grow up in different situations and one of the things I like to say if we're all privileged is we will get enough time to be older. At first, I wasn't so cool with that, but I realize that it's a, it's a good alternative, right? And this is just a, a short little reflection on some of the things that I've seen role modeled to me, especially within health and wellness from my own dad. 

 (11:02):

My dad aged seventies, my dad arrived last night, he joined me in my body reclamation and repair workout while I was actively on a journey to heal through exercise. There's less side effects, but takes more time. I was so happy that my dad tried the workout. My dad in his seventies at the time was so willing to do new things, old things and yoga things. What a blessing. So this one's real short, my dad aged seventies. My dad turns 80 actually a few months ago. But I thought it was important to talk about because there's a lot of things packed into there. First of all, I was on a body reclamation and repair workout, so you wanna know what that is? A body reclamation and repair workout, basically, I really had decided that the only way to get to the next level of health was to take full ownership of it. 

(12:16):

And, you know, up until then, I really was not focused on my body. I would say that not focused on my body, I sort of took it for granted as the carrier for my big old no in here and all the thoughts in my noggin. I wasn't thinking that, you know, you can't really be here if you don't have your body intact. And I think that becomes a theme throughout this whole book is that we do really need to take care of our bodies all of the time. And I think a lot of times we don't realize that, you know, and we're not sort of socialized in our society to, to, to put that kind of emphasis on our health and wellness. I've mentioned this before that uh, yeah, health and wellness, if that were our real emphasis, we wouldn't have just one gym class and, you know, nine to 10 academic classes, right? 

Speaker 2 (13:08):

And really without your body, the academic classes don't hold up. So my, my dad joined in for this, which was really fun. I didn't think he would, I had a, a trainer leading us and he'd never tried yoga before. And is that true? Is it true to say he's never tried yoga before? Because yoga's kind of part of life, right? You know, we've been down, we stretch, we do all the things we have to do, but he'd never been in a structured yoga class before and uh, he was all in. And that was a, you know, a great reminder to me cuz I'm not 70, is that a lot of times we reject new things. Like we don't even try them. So when does that playfulness, playfulness leave us, right? Is that the serious middle-aged like twenties to whatever it is, a work period adult that, you know, sort of abandons all fun? 

(14:03):

Is that the child rearer? Is that the money saver? Who is that, that abandons all fun and and does that just sort of, if you're lucky, uh, <laugh> rejoin your life at a certain point? Or is it something that you're supposed to carry with you? I thought it was hilarious. He was so energetic about the experience and also a little bit competitive. You know, I, so was, I, I I'm not gonna lie, I was a little bit competitive as well. Cause I thought, well if he's doing this and he's in his seventies, I better at least pull my act together. You know, as we went through downward dog and a few flows and some balance poses, it was rather impressive, um, that neither of us tipped over and needed a hand. And I think too, one of the things that's really important about trying new things is how you're gonna process it, right? 

(15:01):

And that was one thing that I still remember about that day, and that's why I put that little excerpt in the book, is that despite any initial resistance that my dad might have had to trying something new and also, you know, me a little bit of fear and asking him to join in. Cause I didn't wanna be rejected. I learned something about my dad's posture to new things, which was, you know, he went with the flow, he handled it with brace, and when it was over, it was over, right? So there was like no complaints about aches and pains and oh, I went through that yoga thing and whatever. It was just all positivity. And that also is, uh, something for me to remember. And I like to hold these things in my memory bank for the future. Like say if I'm in that same position where I'm going to be trying something new with someone who, you know, really wants me to, or, uh, you know, might be my own child, you know, 20 years, 30 years from now, whatever, I wanna give back that feeling. 

(16:07):

So a lot of times as we're going through these discussions, and I'm talking about self parenting and what we can do for our own life and wellness through listening to these stories or learning examples from, from others or sort of reflecting in our own journals, is that little bit of self parenting where we say, Hey, you know, what can I learn from this? What can I take from this? What can I do to, to fill a gap or to parent myself in a way I hadn't been parented at the time when I was younger. That's meaningful me for me now and can make of close and help me close gaps. And I I say this often to my clients as a coach, and I'll say this all to you. You know, these, these are little opportunities of reflection. So I, I just put this in my notebook for myself to remember. 

 (16:54):

You know, it matters when someone asks you to try something new that you <laugh> you approach it with some positivity. You know, that often is the gift that you can give back to them. Trying your hardest is also another, uh, gift that you can give to them. And living through it and being present with them is also a gift that you can give to them. So, uh, that's what we got for you today on, uh, father's Day and Juneteenth A Wish for the Fathers out there, that they have a great day, uh, reflection to those of us who are working on our own self parenting and our own self-growth. I hope it's a beautiful day for you, for all those people who are out there celebrating or recognizing Juneteenth. It's a big, it's a, it's a big thing that we're here and able to talk about those tragic times for a hundred for what, over a hundred years or more. 

(17:47):

We weren't able to talk about it and to have, uh, discussions and recognition. So the more that this comes out to the forefront and it's just part of the history, the good, the bad, the difficult, and the things that we are gonna overcome, um, the better for us. And lastly, To Live List is going to continue on during the summer. As I mentioned, I'm lining up guests as I have them lined up. I will let you know on the Facebook page and eventually on the website podcast, hope that you'll continue to join. As you join, please do pick up your own copy of Rants and Ramblings on Life and Wellness, uh, left to go into some of the longer posts with your book club or at your speaker group. So just drop me a note in the comments. I am me or DM e I'm, I'm happy to figure out something out for you and your group and for everyone that else's out there, have a great day.