To Live List
What’s on your To Live List®?
I realized there was something missing in my life—not another to-do, and definitely not a bucket list. Because what happens when you check off every box and you’re still here?
To-do lists are useful, sure. But they’re about getting things done. And then what? Just another list.
A To Live List® is different. It’s about how you want to live—through the highs, the lows, and everything in between.
On this podcast, we explore what it means to truly live—and to be fully present in your own life. Come along for real conversations and a fresh perspective on how to shape your life.
To Live List
Becoming Permission Fluid: Living to our Fullest
Who’s really running the show—you, or some invisible permission slip you didn’t even sign up for? Permission fluidity is all about reclaiming the freedom to act, rest, or pivot without waiting for approval. Because let’s be real—too many of us have spent a lifetime looking for permission externally instead of just living.
We’re unpacking how permission shapes us from childhood to adulthood, the sneaky ways we hold ourselves back, and—most importantly—how to take that power back. Think: making a permission list (yep, it’s a thing), embracing self-care without guilt, and spotting opportunities in life’s transitions.
If you’ve been waiting for a sign to start living on your terms—this is it. Let’s go.
Send us a text. We ❤️ to hear from you 💡
Checkout Our Blog called Tune-In for episode recaps and more show notes.
Music Intro (00:00)
(00:27)
Hey everyone, Delia Grenville here, and welcome to this season of To Live List. I'm thrilled to have you with me as we explore some really meaningful conversations about life, wellness, and those big moments that shape who we are. This season we're focusing on the idea of permission fluidity—the freedom to give ourselves permission to live, evolve, and break free from expectations. From parenting our kids and ourselves to building supportive communities and finding more space to live authentically, we are diving into it all.
I'll also be sharing insights from my book, Rants and Ramblings on Life and Wellness. We've got some fantastic guests lined up to take these conversations even further. So if you're ready to reflect, grow, and explore what permission looks like in your life, I'm excited to have you along for the journey. Let's get into it.
(01:33)
Today, I think I have a really good topic to go through with everyone, but I do want to tell everyone this: I don't know why, but today I'm nervous. I am never nervous for these—well, not nervous like this. Usually, I just come on, do them, and then I'm done and I go about whatever else I was going to do. But today, I don’t know—I have some nervousness. I don’t know why that’s showing up, but I’m giving myself the permission to be nervous and to sit with the nervousness and to accept that it’s here and move on.
So let’s get going. Today's topic kind of hit me earlier during the week that we're five weeks away from the end of the year. When I was sitting with that, I was just like, well, how does that make you feel?
(02:26)
I'm not a huge resolutions person. Although I do make them, I don't expect them to box me in any way. It's more of a thought process to help plan and look at more than 30 days at a time and have a general idea of where to go. But I’ve long since let go of resolutions being some kind of constraint. So it's not a huge resolution thing.
I do have goals for the year and things I want to accomplish. With five weeks remaining, I'm less concerned about whether I will finish everything perfectly than about reflecting on what I've accomplished and what's left to explore.
(03:28)
One thing I’ve been doing—and a few people have joined me—is cleaning up these little snow piles that have accumulated in my house. I'm not making it high pressure, but just giving myself 15 minutes, maybe listening to a podcast or music, and doing as much as I can in that time. Then I move on.
During the pandemic, this house went rather wild, so I’m just trying to get things back into place. There’s a lot going on. We’ve all been coming back to life after the pandemic.
(04:25)
I know no one really wants to talk about it anymore, and we want to put it in the past, but it was a huge event with long-lasting implications. Getting ourselves reset for that takes time—it’s not just, "We’re over it." The world changed in many ways, and we have to accept those changes and work with them.
I’ve been thinking about this, not in terms of a to-do list or a bucket list, but how I want to live. What am I allowing myself to do?
(05:35)
It made me ask myself: Do I give myself permission to live out this life fully? What does that mean?
I turned to Google and looked at a bunch of lists. I found myself reflecting on what I allow myself to do. Am I putting more pressure on myself, or am I alleviating it?
Pressure is such an interesting thing. Physically, we don't feel it—like air pressure—but the stress of goals, accomplishments, subjective judgments, and schedules is there. So, what do I allow myself to do—or stop myself from doing—because of pressure or the lack of permission?
(07:04)
I found several "permission lists" online. Here’s one I liked:
- You are allowed to put yourself first.
- You are allowed to take up space.
- You are allowed to say no.
- You are allowed to rest.
- You are allowed to walk away.
- You are allowed to be proud of yourself.
- You are allowed to cry, to start over, and to change your mind.
Let that sit with you. Maybe take a pause and a breath in, and give yourself the permission to focus inward.
(08:31)
When I first heard about putting yourself first, it felt egotistical—or even narcissistic. But I’ve come to see it differently. Giving yourself permission doesn’t mean taking from others; it’s about living your life fully.
Growing up in a big family, I didn’t have much autonomy. Permission was often "outsourced" to parents, teachers, or authority figures. Over time, we’re expected to manage ourselves, but no one really teaches us how to give ourselves permission.
(09:45)
Does that ability magically appear at adulthood? As a kid, I thought freedom would just come with age. Watching young adults now, I see how challenging it can be to figure out where permission lies—within ourselves or from others.
And here I am, asking myself: Have I given myself the permission to live the life I want?
Since permission has often been externalized, I wonder if what we need is permission fluidity: the ability to navigate between self-permission and external permission. Knowing when to rely on ourselves and when to collaborate or seek input.
(11:15)
It’s an interesting concept. How do we teach it?
At the heart of it, permission fluidity is about allowing yourself to live fully while respecting others. It’s not about taking advantage or acting selfishly—it’s about balance.
(16:18)
One of the hardest permissions for me is wasting time. Gosh, that’s a hard one for me. Being able to just be freely, not do anything on a specific day, but not saying, not having any goals or anything, but just not doing anything and being completely with that. For me, that’s a difficult thing to give myself permission to do.
(18:10)
I see a lot of people who don’t give themselves permission to try new things. For me, that’s not a problem. I do like to try new things, and I don’t think I’m reckless about it, but sometimes I wish I were a little less liberal with my permission about doing new things.
(19:26)
A good friend recently reminded me that this period we’re in, while challenging, is also a period of opportunity.
(20:43)
We’ve had to soldier on and follow the rules during the pandemic. Now, we need to give ourselves permission to reset.
(22:48)
There are five weeks until the end of the year. Don’t wait—start exploring your own permission fluidity now.
(23:56)
It’s a period of opportunity. Let’s embrace it together.
Music Outro (25:35)
