In this episode, I explain why I'm saying goodbye to the Autistic at 40 podcast, what I've learned in the past 3 years, and what will come next.

In this episode, I share what I have learned about the links between AuDHD and Personality Disorder and ask questions based on experiences from my own life.

In this episode I share some sense I am making about the nature of emotional dysfunction in my family, and particularly how this impacted my relationships with my parents.

In this episode, I talk about the pitfalls and benefits of being an autistic leader, based on my own experiences.

In this episode I talk about my body as a source of expression, awe, distress and pleasure. 

Today I share a lot more about how I experience PDA as an adult, what triggers it and how I am learning to manage it day to day.

I share the story of why I didn't have children, even though I always thought I would.

I share key aspects of different types of policy roles and organisations, and some potential pros and cons of this type of work, from an autistic perspective.

In this episode I talk about the concept of the mother wound, and share some realisations about what is needed for healing.

In this episode I share why I believe my most confusing and destructive experiences and behaviours as an undiagnosed autistic child and adult can be explained by internalised PDA (pathological demand avoidance / pervasive drive for autonomy).

This week I talk about how complicated it was seeking an assessment for autism as an adult, why I did it and why it took so long to find what I was looking for.

In this episode I talk about the aspects of life which continue to overwhelm me, even though I am no longer burned out, as well as how I navigate them.

In this episode I talk about my search for truth, learning to stay grounded in my purpose and how I've learned how to maintain my mental health in my search for divinity.

In this episode I talk about a few different autistic experiences that were difficult to make sense of at the time, from taking things literally and without context, to feeling homesick all the time.

In this episode, I describe some of the signs I have noticed that I am healing from my trauma, in case this is helpful for anyone else on a similar journey.

An update on recent developments in my own autistic trauma recovery. Plus a call to autistic adults to come together for our collective trauma prevention and recovery.  

Sharing some thoughts about inter-generational autistic trauma and internalised ableism (and abuse) within families and systems. I make non-specific reference to behavioural interventions and human rights abuses in the mental health system.

I share the steps I took to 'remember' who I am, what I'm about, what I love and my purpose.

Content warning: reference to self harm and unhealthy eating behaviours.I talk about my own adolescence, the specific challenges I experienced, and my harmful and health coping mechanisms. 

I talk about my challenges and experiences throughout my education from primary school to university.

I share some of my main experiences of working life, before and after discovering I am autistic. This includes what having a 'spiky profile' means for me in practice.

I share what I have observed as some of my early signs of burnout, from my new perspective of knowing what it's like not to be burned out.

In the last episode of season one, I talk about the importance of connection for autistic people, and my hopes and next steps for bringing us together.

This week I share what I now understand about how trauma has presented during my life.  I set out what I have figured out about what is and is not a direct result of being autistic (and not knowing it) and how this has impacted on me.