The REALationship Method
The REALationship Method is a comedic podcast about dating, relationships, and advice, blending tips with plenty of tangents. With stories and experiences shared by the cast and guests, it offers cautionary tales to help you avoid making the same mistakes. So sit back, relax, and maybe learn a thing or ten!
The REALationship Method
From Hawaii to Texas: A Singer's Journey Through Life's Seasons with Kali
Hawaiian-born R&B artist Kali talks about her musical journey from military kid to creating the "Fuck Girl Season" concept for her work as she navigates the music industry on her own terms. She shares deeply personal insights about expressing emotions through music and finding creative outlets when growing up in an Asian Pacific Islander household where vulnerability wasn't always encouraged.
• Growing up in Hawaii until age 8 before moving to Texas when her mother joined the military
• Parents' diverse musical tastes sparked her love of music from an early age
• Writing began as an emotional outlet in an environment where expressing feelings was difficult
• Developed a strategic "seasons" approach to her music after working in PR and media journalism
• Current "Fuck Girl Season" represents self-awareness, chasing highs, and avoiding consequences
• Recommends channeling breakup emotions into creative outlets and leaning on close friends
• Views vulnerability in men as attractive but acknowledges some things should be handled privately
• Passionate about makeup, dancing, and fashion alongside her music career
• Believes passions are "planted" within us for a reason and should be explored
If you really have a passion or desire in your heart, there's a reason why that was planted in you. Be curious, follow it and see where it takes you, because it could lead to your purpose in life of impacting more people than you think.
five, four, three, two, one. I'm amaro. Welcome back to another episode of the relationship podcast. I'm chris. Today I got a special guest with me. Hawaii born, she resides in texas, so you know I'm cutting in her sleep time right now. She's an an R&B artist. She's in her fuck season girl Season. Fuck season girl. I got Kali on my shit, yes.
Speaker 2:Thank you so much for having me. I'm so excited to be here. Anything from my people, my island, my home.
Speaker 1:Hell yeah. As you can tell I'm not a local, but I mean I reside here now, but I meanaii is who has hair. I couldn't tell where are you from.
Speaker 2:I'm from cali, call me. That makes sense because it gives the same energy vibe.
Speaker 1:So uh, I'll take that. I will take that. So, miss collie, um, before we get going, um, let me ask you how did I get the yes?
Speaker 2:Well, first and foremost, you're based in my home. I almost like give anyone a pass and yes, if they're like, we're in Hawaii. I'm from Hawaii because that's just my people. That's where I was born. I lived there for eight years of my life. You know my family's still down there, so it just it has so much meaning to me so, like anytime I can come on and collaborate with locals or anyone who lives in Hawaii or is in Hawaii or just wants to put people on, I'm there.
Speaker 1:Appreciate you and you say you were here for eight years. What made you move to the mainland?
Speaker 2:You know, unfortunately it wasn't my choice. My mom actually joined the military, so we moved to texas uh-huh.
Speaker 1:So you're. I'm assuming you were on um for fort hood? Yeah, actually oh, okay okay, so the only reason why I know about fort hood is because I'm in the military too.
Speaker 2:So that's why I'm in hawaii because of the military oh, that makes sense okay, but you still give that aloha spirit, so I love it.
Speaker 1:Oh hey hey, I appreciate you, appreciate you and then, um, you're a singer as well, too, right yes, I'm a pop artist. How did? How did this pop off like, oh shit, that's my bad.
Speaker 2:no, you're fine. You know, being in hawaii it's not where like all the mainstream artists come to. It's very rarely that like you'll be so exposed to like the music the way I am in Texas. But I grew up with really young parents and so every morning I'd wake up my dad would be bumping 50 Cent, my mom would be playing like Beyonce, destiny's Child, and I feel like I always took a liking to those sounds, even to the point where I would have like my boombox. And it was just back when cassette tapes were around and we had to like record yes, yes, I know that I'm young guys, I'm young, showing your age, showing your age.
Speaker 2:I had to record on cassette tapes and music's. Just it always came so naturally to me and I feel like growing up in um, an Asian Pacific Islander household it's. I think a lot of people can relate to it when I say that it's a little difficult to express your emotions to your family and just be vulnerable in a sense, and so for me I always found comfort in writing, like in my diary, writing like songs, all those things. So when I mix just my love for music in general with how I love to express, it's like match made in heaven.
Speaker 1:Girl yes, slay general with how I love to express. It's like match made in heaven. Girl, yes, like. I love the fact that you said um in Filipino, uh, families, we don't, uh like, say how we feel. We don't express that. That's um, I believe. Well, nowadays, I mean mental health. Right back in the day, mental health was like it was non-existent. So for us to grow like that, we just had to buck up and just deal with it, right?
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:I feel you girl, and then your songs. I was jamming out to them during work. How did you come up with the concept? I know, oh my God, cadence, though hey, hey, I'll jump in on that one how did you come up with these joints like, and the season that you're in right now, like what? How did you come up with that?
Speaker 2:that's. I love telling this story. So, yes, tell, when it came down to me wanting to take music seriously, because I dabbled in music, like in college, I was on soundcloud and then, outside of that, my real life job that I had to get again because of, like, the family I come from, music wasn't really seen as this realistic career to have. My middle ground was going into public relations and media journalism and I did that for the music industry. So I saw a lot of that and I learned a lot about what it came down to marketing, branding, how you should roll yourself out as an artist, like I learned so much for doing it with other people that I knew when it came to my time for it, I sat down with a group of people from Fort Worth they're called Greenhouse and they were actually the ones who were like so what's your five year plan? And I was like five year plan, like I barely even know what I'm trying to write about now.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and I was like five year plan, like I barely even know what I'm trying to write about now.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, yeah, like set the tone for me, basically told me that I need to have a structure, and so I came up with all the seasons and the stories I wanted to tell. And it helped a lot too, because at the time it was around when Jhene Aiko's Trip album released and that album really shaped music for me like in a whole different perspective. Album really shaped music for me like in a whole different perspective, and it showed me how she basically story told everything that was going on with her from the beginning of the album to the end. And it's like this journey you go on with her and I was like, well, I would love to do that in my own sense, but not with a project, but more so like with who I am as an artist.
Speaker 2:Every season I want to tell a different story of what I've experienced and what I've gone through and what it's like to be like fully in that. So to your question about fuck girl season, it's, it's really that beginning phase of self-awareness, right when you you're falling into vices, you're chasing a lot of highs in life, you're just, you don't know what you don't know, so you're kind of just rolling with things and not really caring or thinking about the consequences. And that's what fuck girl season is. When you listen to the songs, it's a great time, it's a fun time. If you really really listen to the lyrics, you can hear a lot of um, like how I talk about using those vices or being really in those chasing the highs and things like that. So it's just meant to transport you into a whole different like environment of what it's like to be a fucker or fuck boy.
Speaker 1:Okay, okay I used to be one, but I don't think I. No, I don't know, you know, I don't know everybody.
Speaker 2:I'm a firm believer everyone. Maybe it hasn't fully been one, but but we've all had toxic traits, we've all been a little toxic, and that's what this season is just really encompassing.
Speaker 1:It's like not caring and just doing it anyways, because it's fun. Definitely fun. Womp womp, get yourself checked, y'all Get yourself checked.
Speaker 2:Don't do it.
Speaker 1:Don't text me Don't call me Make smart decisions. Nothing good happens after 3am. And um one more thing uh, are you single taken, mingling, single taken?
Speaker 2:you know, I like to keep a little bit of my life private. I like to leave everybody guessing. You know, if I like that, I like that. I like that if you're on social media then you'll get hints at things, and if not, then you know it's up in the air. Use your imagination.
Speaker 1:Hey, okay, um, everyone, shoot your shot, skip it, yolo, I don't care, hit her up, don't hit me up hit her up close my song right, I know, girl, I know. So your your time in texas, before we get into these questions. Your time in texas, um, was it hard when you first got there or whatnot, or did you really adapt it in like quickly?
Speaker 2:No, I felt like it was hard, especially growing up in Hawaii, where one it's broken English, right, I'm speaking like pigeon. Two, this is like my first time really being shown to a different environment, because in Hawaii it's very different. There Certain people look that different ways than people are in the mainland, If you know, you know. And so when I came here, a lot of people looked at me like I was so scared to talk. I remember my first day in class. I was so scared to talk because I felt like just energy from people.
Speaker 2:I felt like an outsider, and, you know, even like English and reading was such a hard thing for me to pick up on, because it wasn't so like heavily taught in Hawaii, and so it was just definitely an adjustment. But I was excited because, honestly, I visited Texas before I moved here, because my grandma had already lived here, and I love it. As a kid, though I feel like anywhere when you leave home, you're so excited, it seems so like brand new and fun, and, honestly, though, I do feel like I was meant to be here, because there's so much more opportunities when it comes to my music and everything I wanted to do for myself that I still want to end up in Hawaii eventually, but it all happened the way it was supposed to oh, definitely.
Speaker 1:Um, I remember when I first moved to uh Hawaii, uh, my daughter, she went to uh leila hua hai and she talks exactly like me with the slang and all that. So, um, luckily for her, she was, uh, there was other military kids going to leila hua hai, but the whole broken english thing and pigeon. She had a hard time, um, adjusting and grasping what they're. You know what they're saying, right? So I totally understand how, uh, or what you went through, because I would hear it from my scene. She's in college now, but she would tell me, like, when she comes home from school she's like oh, yeah, dad, this and the third. I'm like, yeah, you know what, it's all good, buck up, you know what I'm saying, buck up. I'm sorry, all right, but okay. Okay, um, do you have any questions for me? Before we dig into these questions that people DMed me for?
Speaker 2:you Well, I'm so excited to see what people DMed you. I'm just, I'm excited.
Speaker 1:Okay, the first one is do, do, do, do, do, do. Oh, here we go. What made you passionate about you pursuing, pursuing your career?
Speaker 2:I think you answered that, but if you want to elaborate a little bit more, yeah, I think what makes me so passionate is because I've had this dream now in me since I can remember. Um, I always felt like I didn't really fit in because in hawaii, right Like, I saw my cousins. They're ready to like have kids and families and it's very like that's you go to work, you come home like you're with family, like it's just that's what the value is. And for me, I always felt a little out of place. I always felt like the odd person in my family and, as you can see, like when I go to Hawaii and I show up like this, I look very different than like all my family that I'm with and I just always felt like there was something in me that was a different calling than what I feel like my family or friends understood and even what I understood until I, like reached it.
Speaker 2:And I love music so much. It has changed my life in ways that I can't even really explain. At one point it's even like saved my life, and I know a lot of people can relate to that. So for me I'm just so passionate because I've seen what music can do to heal and help other people. And I told you you know a little bit about my five year plan and, like in that five year plan, that's what I want and hope to do. So it's it's bigger than me at this point and I think that's why I'm so passionate about.
Speaker 1:That's a great answer. I think I might see that in the source one day. I'm sorry, I'm fine, I'm fine, Okay, so questions from the audience and followers the stages after a breakup. Would you could you elaborate or could you like dig into like the stages after a breakup and how to deal with that?
Speaker 2:Oh, that's a good one good one yeah it's for me. This is how I would go about it, because I know everybody's different, everyone's had different experiences. But for me, because I'm an artist, right, my first stage is I want to go to the studio, I want to be in there, I want to get everything out that I'm feeling, I want to express it the way I do and I feel like that would help a lot of people to like taking all that emotion that you're feeling and turning it into something like creative that you can do with it.
Speaker 2:It's such a special process and some of the songs I've made from those moments of like breakups or heartaches or feeling really sad are, honestly, like some of my favorite songs, because it's such a like raw emotion. So I feel like when you take that and turn it into something beautiful, like that's the first step. The second step is like cadence. You get your girls right, you get your friends, you get the people who are there for you or your day ones, because they're the ones who remind you of who you are. I feel like after a breakup, a lot of times we become so used to who we are with that person, which makes sense because we're with them all the time, right, like it'd be weird if it wasn't that way. But it's like then again now finding not only who you used to be without that person but who you want to be now that you've gone through everything you've gone through and the future you want for yourself I feel like those two stages are just the most important yeah, yeah, it's.
Speaker 1:Um, I'm glad you said that. Uh, you've, like you're after a breakup, you have that positive outlet of going into the studio. I know a lot of people. They crunch, they, you know they go into their little bowl. I mean, you know the, you know the little shell. They start eating ice cream. They watch and they, you know they listen to sad songs, they watch rom-coms yeah, or whatnot, but being like being active.
Speaker 1:I honestly think that's also a good way of um dealing with the no, like the first stages of a breakup, right, yeah, so it's like, it's like grief. You know, you got your denial part, you got your mad part and then you got your acceptance or whatnot. But that first stage is is good, especially with um. You said being with your friends, your day ones. That's super important.
Speaker 1:But let me ask you like, let's say, if your day ones aren't there, like, say, um, this person's in korea you know, because, uh, military maybe, or just by the lonesome broke, moved out there to korea for that girl, girl, or the guy broke up with them. What would you do if your day one started there?
Speaker 2:That's so specific.
Speaker 1:I'm not saying any names. Though I'm not saying any names.
Speaker 2:So if you're saying that you don't have your people around, I mean, I think there's two ways I would personally go about it.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:One is you should go out into places that you enjoy doing. So, like for me, I will go out to open mics. I'll go out to events where, like I know, there's other people who love the same things I do, because within that you never know. You know who you're gonna find and you could find your next tribe there. You could find your next best friend there. You just never know, like.
Speaker 2:Going to places where you already know you have common ground is very easy for you to not only kind of process like the breakup and get back to what you love doing, but also find other people that you can connect with there. And the second thing I'm gonna get a little spiritual here, but it's it's really like turning to God when I've had really hard breakups. I would be in the church every Sunday.
Speaker 2:I would be praying as much as I could, especially because there's going to be times where you feel like you can talk to your best friend, you can talk to your mom, you can talk to whoever, but you still feel like this deficit there and I don't know how you can really explain it. It's just like nothing is fulfilling. But I feel like when you do open up and talk to God, it brings just so much joy into your life.
Speaker 1:I'm glad you said that, because I was talking to one of my home girls and she said that one of her bucket lists was being closer to God. So I really love that comment that you just said.
Speaker 2:Yes, amen.
Speaker 1:Ooh, girl Side question Open mic. When you first went to open mic, how nervous were you and how did you get over that? Because I know some people on the island that want to do stand up comedy but they're scared in going in front of people and just bombing the first time.
Speaker 2:Comedy is hard. That is hard. I would say that's like harder than performing at an open mic singing wise, because you do comedy to get a reaction. I think in my sense I'm performing more so to just like share what I created. So I give kudos to anybody who wants to do comedy. That is not easy, but like more power. To you I would just say like for me. I know last year I took performing very seriously. My big goal was to perform, perform as much as I could so I could learn I could get better, I can get more comfortable on stage. And let me tell you I cringe at those videos. I do not want to sound the way I sounded back then. My stage presence was so awkward sometimes, like you can just tell the nerves were taking over. But the thing is you have to go through that sometimes to get better and to get to where you want to be. Because now I just had a performance last week, wednesday, and I was rewatching back the footage and I was like dang, she did.
Speaker 1:Oh, she did a thing, god damn, hell. Yeah, I like how you said that you I guess you re-watched your old performances, because when I started out this thing I didn't know what I was doing. So one of my boys would always bring up like old clips and I'm like, oh my gosh, I'm cringe as hell, like awkward, you know Right, would always bring up like old clips and I'm like, oh my gosh, I'm cringe as hell, like awkward, you know right, I don't know. It's like I guess. Yeah, like what you said, you have to go through the experience to know what works and what doesn't, right?
Speaker 2:yeah, everything's gonna be. Everything's gonna be cringe until it's not. That's.
Speaker 1:It's just how it has to be growing pains, growing pains. Um, did you, uh, if you were ever with someone while you were performing and going through the stage of being an artist, did you have any like jealousy, or what's the other word? Oh God, like, not, yeah, like so jealous guys or girls, jealous people that you're around other people or that your, that your career is like lifting off. Did you ever had to deal with any of that stuff?
Speaker 2:You know, I probably have, but I probably just haven't really noticed, because I just stay so focused on, like my goal, what I'm doing, and I have so much love for the people who support me and who are there for me and yeah there's been times, of course, like, excuse me, some friendships have like fallen off.
Speaker 2:I'm not sure why. Sometimes it could be, you know, when I reflect on it it could be something within them that they wanted so bad for themselves that when you see someone doing it I can understand how that could make you feel some type of way. But at the same day it's like we both have the same 24 hours to like do what we can do. So I wouldn't say I necessarily. Came across someone I knew was like, yeah, that girl's jealous of me or that guy like envies me. But sometimes you walk in a room and you can feel it, you know, but at the end of the day you just got to be you and let don't let anybody dim your light. I would never do that to anybody. So that's just not the type of energy I I give. So I feel like for me it's not really the energy I have around me much either.
Speaker 1:Good advice. That's a good answer. That was a good answer. Next question is okay are you able to date someone with a kid?
Speaker 2:That's a good question. It's funny because I have, so I know what that's like. I I think it's all circumstantial. Ideally I wouldn't want to, just because I know what that comes with and I just know my lifestyle. And if I got like a call in the next morning that I gotta be in cali because I just gotta accept it to be like at the grammys or something like I'm going yes, I want to call that like they want me to move to LA because I'm about to sign a deal, like I would highly consider it. So it's a little hard because someone with a kid is so like established where they're at, especially if the kid's young, you know like they want to be present, and so that's what makes it really difficult.
Speaker 2:I wouldn't say it's like impossible, but that would call for a lot of compromise from that person who has a kid. But it would also mean I would have to compromise a lot too, because you know they have a kid.
Speaker 1:Well, definitely Hypothetical. You're with a boo with a kid. You do get that that call to go to LA. Are you able, depending on how long you've been with this person, would you be able to take him and the child with you?
Speaker 2:oh yeah, like if they're down. You know, when I got my private jet one day and all that, I'm like pack it up, we're going to la call the school. Oh hey, the kid is sick today and we're going okay, okay, okay, cool, so you're.
Speaker 1:So you're not one of those people that would just leave them behind and just go chase after your dream. But it all comes down to like you're established in how your relationship is. Yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah, like it definitely comes down to that I would say.
Speaker 2:like you know, coming from Hawaii, family is a huge value to me too, Like it's very, very, very big. It's something I hold near and dear to my heart. So if I'm involved in a relationship with a kid, I'm absolutely going to like consider them in everything I do. But that's what also makes it hard for me to say yes to something like that, because I would have to consider them in everything that I do. And anyone being, you know, in the music or entertainment industry knows it's very go, go, go. The entertainment industry does not sleep. It's like, when the opportunity comes, like you either take your chance or you might miss your shot at something that could be life changing. Anytime I get in a relationship, I think this is very, very important is to always have an open conversation of what the expectations are and what you value. So whenever I start talking to someone, I always let them know like music comes first.
Speaker 1:Oh my gosh, I'm so, uh, I'm so happy to hear that because, uh, there's people that put you know their priorities are all messed up, and I'm so happy to hear that your, your priority is, is music, so that's like nothing else is going to stop you. So I'm very happy to hear that from you. Yes, period Period yes, All right. Next question is um, okay, so this might be a uh, and I'm going to apologize for it now. Uh, it might be a horny one, right? Wait, am I good? Am I good now? Can?
Speaker 2:you hear me.
Speaker 1:Okay. So this question, um, do women want to know the size before they go into bed? Is it courteous for the guy to tell uh a woman their size?
Speaker 2:you know I'm gonna say no on that, and I only say that because why, why would that have to be part of the initial conversation that you're having, if? It is I mean it depends what kind of conversation you're having. Right, like, if you're both there for a good time, not a long time, cool, like, have at it, talk about it yeah, if you're a woman who prioritizes that, do you boo?
Speaker 2:but me personally I don't think so. More so like we'll connect with someone based off like vibes and more like intellect. Before I think of anything like, obviously you have to be physically attracted. Let me not be one of those looks doesn't matter person yeah at the same time, I don't think it comes down to like me always having to know someone's size on the first day to see if we go like further into the relationship.
Speaker 1:Oh, I'm glad you said that, because this question was asked and it was um. It was one of my black homegirls, so from back in Cali. So there's your answer, girl. All right, no no, no. So there's your answer, girl. All right, no, no, no, I? Um. This is from uh, one of my boys back in Cali. Um, have you ever uh being catfished in the bedroom? Have you ever experienced that?
Speaker 2:That's what is like catfish in the bedroom mean, though you know like that's such a generic.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah it is, it's generic, generic, it's so wide, um, I'm gonna say, okay, I'm gonna think like uh, I'm gonna think, uh, like a horny guy, real quick, all right, hold on, all right. So I guess I look good in a t-shirt, but then when the t-shirt's off, I'm all lightweight, scrawny or um, I guess, uh, I was carrying package, but then when the pants comes off, the package isn't there, or one of these things where I wear a suit to the date, but when it comes down to the bedroom I'm all hairy and stuff. I look like a Sasquatch Okay.
Speaker 1:So something like that, something like that, yeah. Or you know what? Something crazy uh comes to the bedroom, my toupee falls off. That type of scenario. So has that? Has that ever happened to? Where you're like, oh no, this is not who I met, I'm just another representation of you that's.
Speaker 2:That's so funny. Honestly, no, I don't think I've ever. I've been catfished in person, like on dates and things like that, but in the bedroom. As far as that goes, no, I don't think I ever ever have, and maybe it's because I don't think too hard into like hey, what is this person gonna look like naked, or like what is there?
Speaker 2:like you know I will say hat fish, though, is a yes, because there'd be guys who'd be wearing hats and they take it off and they look like so different without a hat, Like yeah, ooh. That sense, yeah, like that's happened before, but as far as like anything else goes, no.
Speaker 1:Okay, tell me your experience of you being catfished, because I have a story for that too.
Speaker 2:Twice, I got catfished twice.
Speaker 2:Well, you know how it goes with dating apps, like everybody's obviously putting out like their best photos and things like that, which, like I'm also like not want to say I haven't put out photos that might have had filters on it, or you know that I adjusted to it, but I feel like, for the most part, me as a person when I'm in person, like I look same.
Speaker 2:But there was one time I remember it was when I was in college I invited this guy to this house party I was at and I just remember opening the door because my friend told me that he was here and I looked at him and I was like, oh my gosh, I'm pretty sure I shut the door and I think I told him I shut the door and I'm pretty sure they locked the door and I think I told the door and I'm pretty sure they locked the door and like he did not get in and I think he like was texting me. I was not answering at all, but that was that was the most like catfish I've been, because man did not look anything like he did on his photos online at all at all, why?
Speaker 1:so the the times that I got catfished I I was still in high school. This is going to tell my age. It was on AIM. You know what? Aim, yeah, aol, chat rooms, this and shit, right, esl, age, sex location, all that that. And third, so I get a picture from a girl and this happened twice and she would live like an hour and some change away, right, cute face for some reason. And I live like an hour and some change away, right, cute face for some reason. And I should have like figured this out.
Speaker 1:But my, you know high school, chris, you know horny and all that, uh, it's just from the chest up. So, from the chest up, it was all gravy. Come to find out and, mind you, I didn't have a license at the time I would like have to beg my homeboys to be like, hey, man, let's make a trip out here and then we should link up with some people. So, so I would like have to, um, like, yeah, finesse my way on going up there. I meet these people, meet these females. I'm like, oh my God, I mean, you know, I'm a nice guy, so like I hung out with them and everything.
Speaker 1:But damn, that was the first time. The second time, same thing happened, like chest up, it was all gravy, cute face. I mean sound like a dick, but back in the day I was lightweight, superficial and stuff. So when I saw the down part I was like, oh man, not again, but I mean, nonetheless, I had a good time with the person and it's crazy because I still talk to them now. They're real good friends of mine on um, on social media, like when I was living in cali. Uh, they would come down and visit you know, since we all could drive now and we would make fun of you know those moments and shit. But yeah, so after that I was, I was never catfished again, but those two times I was like, oh gosh, this ain't happening, no way don't believe a picture.
Speaker 2:I love that you're still friends with them. You know, like that that's dope oh man, I mean okay.
Speaker 1:So one thing that I've learned, and especially, uh, like you know, growing up in the hood and stuff, like uh and this is old me now like fat people, annoying people when they get, when they hit their like teens or like after high school, like majority of them slim the fuck up and they become somebody. So I remember my dad always telling me it's like, hey man, be nice to everyone, because you do not know what's gonna happen, like in the future. So I'm just like I bet you know I'm gonna be cool with them and I'm not gonna be mean if they need 50 cents because you know I'll be broke, I'll be like yo, I'll give y'all a dollar, I'll give you 50 cents, this and third, but yeah, like um, I think being nice goes a long way. It's. It's hard to be not nice and mean, you know well for us.
Speaker 1:Yes, people like us, yes yeah, yeah, cheers to that, thank you, thank you. All right, thank you for the answer. Thank you for the answer. Um, here we go. Here's um, this would be a good one. What's the worst? Thank you for the answer. Here you go, this would be a good one. What's the worst way to flirt in the DMs?
Speaker 2:Good question. As a guy, the worst way, I think, obviously maybe because I don't know how guys feel about it, you know. But from a girl's perspective, like don't come off too aggressive, don't start saying things like I wish I was there with you.
Speaker 2:That should be me like oh, really no, no, no, none of that, okay, okay I think the best way to do it would honestly be the long game, and that's just like from my experience, like a little like on the story here, a little like on the post here. Maybe a little like on the post here, maybe comment next time, maybe like actually sending a fire to them Like it's all about like slow to warm, you know coming off too hard, I think, at least for me.
Speaker 2:It scares me off. I'm like this is too much. And also I feel like when people come off so strong, you never know what their intentions are. Right, Like if someone's taking their time, then clearly they're intentionally wanting to get to know you or like even just get noticed by you. But if someone's just like coming off the back like I wish that was me or like anything like that, I'm kind of like um, question, um, with the whole like guys playing the long game, right?
Speaker 1:why are women, um, why do they like the like the asshole kind of guy instead of like the nice guy you know that treats them right, that is chivalrous? Why do they tend to fall for like, say, the assholes, the, the ones that you know, that just doesn't leave the door open or expects the woman to pay at the IHOP or whatnot? Why? Why is that? Why do you think?
Speaker 2:I think it could be one of two things.
Speaker 2:They could either be in their fuck girl season, which I get like attracts like you know what I'm saying like if that's a person, then you're gonna attract that person too. Um, so it could be a situation of that. Or I feel like it could just be like for me personally, I really like the nice guys who do very romantic things, but there needs to be like some sort of spice in there, you know, like don't be an ass, but also like don't just always be like a yes man or goody two-shoes, like I feel like there's a good medium ground. But I think either the person just likes jerks because they're that's who they are too, maybe internally, or maybe it's a self-worth thing. We're about to get deep. It could be a self-worth thing. Maybe they feel like that's all that they're like worthy of receiving.
Speaker 2:Maybe that's all they've known, or maybe also, you know, social media plays such a huge part and even, just like media in general, movies, anything that plays such a huge part that when we see like the good girl falling for the bad guy, we're like, oh, I want that type of romance yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1:So I've read a statistic saying that, uh, women they would go for like the not so good guys opposed to like a good, stable guy, because on um, I guess past trauma or or and slash or um, like how they feel about themselves.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:So what you just said was was pretty valid and I was like, oh my gosh, I know the person saying it and not from know what I was.
Speaker 2:literally, you know the literature that I was reading yeah, I mean, it makes sense why it happens that way. You know, it's like all comes down to psychology yeah have you gone through that? Um like liking bad boys, because?
Speaker 1:yeah, liking the bad boys, because they, you know, they kind of treated you trashy. But then you're like, oh, I ain't trying to go for that. But then you're like, man, that's just cute.
Speaker 2:I think I, like intentionally, was trying to do that. But I think once you're like in that like almost toxic cycle, the highs are so high that when the lows happen, yeah, the lows are terrible, but those like moments of high, just it's everything that you live off of even if it's like this much highs and like these many lows. You know, I feel like a lot of people can relate to me when I say that yeah, oh and um, a little personal with you.
Speaker 1:Uh, what's, what's your go-to green flag?
Speaker 2:this is such a weird one, but I feel like a green flag for me is when they're creative, because that just makes me see that not only do they have like that intellect up there to create something because I think it does take a lot of brainpower and imagination and things like that to do it but that also lets me know they have an outlet to express themselves. That means they're vulnerable and I love that. Oh, okay.
Speaker 1:So do you like eat off or feed off the vulnerability, like the vulnerable side, of a man?
Speaker 2:Um, not like in a sense like that, like I don't want to say it's like I'm using it for my own you know agenda, but I just think that I like, when a guy is vulnerable, okay, it shows me that they can be emotionally intelligent. There's just like so many things behind it. But I do think, like talking about that though, that it's okay for guys to not fully be vulnerable with their partner, because I do believe there are some things that, like, guys, as men, just have to handle like on their own, and as women I don't think we can always emotionally handle everything that they're going through, so I like when they're vulnerable, but if my guy needs time to himself to deal with what he's dealing with, I'm like have at it.
Speaker 1:Have at it, girl. Okay. Next question is how to deal with a person that you like, but they don't like you back.
Speaker 2:I've had too many, too many experiences with that one.
Speaker 1:Is it the person liking you or is it you liking the person?
Speaker 2:it's me liking the person. But, like you say, let's go back to like when we talked about high school because, like you said, when you were like that nerd not so good looking in high school, like you had your glow up right, so like that was me for years of liking guys and it just I wasn't the it girl back then.
Speaker 1:But look at me now.
Speaker 2:Now, anyway, oh, I know, but yeah, I dealt with that a lot of times. What was the question?
Speaker 1:Oh, how do you deal with um?
Speaker 2:you know you you like in a person, but the person doesn't like you back oh, that's so hard because a part of me is in this delulu world where I'm like, but they can, but what if they?
Speaker 1:do what if?
Speaker 2:I play the slow game and it works out, you know, uh-huh.
Speaker 1:But at some point you do just kind of have to be like okay, you know, if they don't see your worth or value, at that point, girl, it's time to go oh, okay, okay, so you don't so like, let's say, the guy was friendly, right, and you know he accepted, you know your advances and everything, but kept it to that friend level. Are you still gonna go or are you still gonna like keep shooting your shot until his wall breaks down?
Speaker 2:Man, old me, old me would have kept going.
Speaker 1:Old, you would have kept going.
Speaker 2:Me now has boundaries and it's a deuce, huh because, like, I relate to that in a sense of I guess it wasn't so much that they wouldn't like me back, because I've experienced a lot more times where they have liked me back, but there's always been an x that they would always run back to.
Speaker 1:Wow, that's crazy, because I don't think like hold on, let me, let me, let me backtrack. I don't think I've ever like ran back to an ex. There was a back, there was an ex that I would chase after, but then I would snap back into and be like oh, this shit, I'm done so has that ever happened to you? To where you know you're running back to an ex and then you're like what the fuck am I doing?
Speaker 2:no way like skip it no, for me, when I'm like done with an ex, like I'm done if I'm talking to someone new after that relationship is over, I am here. I'm never going back there. That's because I give so many chances and I do my best to compromise and work through whatever's happening. But if I am like ready to out it, it means that all has been done.
Speaker 1:Really so. Can an ex still be your friend?
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Are you still Okay? Okay?
Speaker 2:Oh, I like that question too, because I asked myself that, because I like to talk to guys who are friends with their exes, and I was like, um, that makes me feel weird, but is that a me thing, or is that a them thing? So I did a lot of research and I don't know if you know who Jay Shetty is, but he has the biggest mental health podcast in the world and I love listening to it. But he had talked about that question. I like the way he put it, in a sense of like yes, people can be friends with their exes if there's that emotional intelligence and understanding, right, like you have to respect that person's journey now, without you. And if another person comes to play, but at the same time, if there's an understanding there and let's say, maybe they were also friends before that relationship happened, I think it's possible. It all just comes down to, like that maturity Okay.
Speaker 1:Mature. Were you a? Were you a mature teen or were you mature in your early twenties, Miss Polly?
Speaker 2:No, absolutely not. That's what fuck girl season is all about.
Speaker 1:Okay, okay, yeah, all right, I was stupid as hell too, oh my God. And okay, so, outside of, I mean from, okay, so outside of, I mean from performing, doing music and stuff what do you do on like the side, like what's your outside? Do you have an outside job? Or anything Like how are you paying the bills, girl?
Speaker 2:Yes, I do have an outside job Not telling nobody it because I know some people might find out about it, but I do have an outside job because, of course, you got to do what you've got to do in order to do the things you want to do, and that outside job has to do a lot with makeup. Makeup's a huge passion of mine. I used to freelance as a makeup artist. I still do, sometimes here and there, but I love it so much as you can see, I went all out for her yeah, but.
Speaker 2:But I do I do that, I dabble into dancing as well. That was another one of my loves. I did it since I was young. I did it throughout high school. I was on drill team, so dance is such like a huge passion of mine as well, and I think also you could say fashion is a huge thing for me. It's all the creative things that as a kid I was doing and now as an adult, I get to like explore all these different lanes of such a wider spectrum of it all.
Speaker 1:Ooh, that's what's up. Makeup Mac or Sephora.
Speaker 2:Like. Are you asking me what my preference is?
Speaker 1:Yeah, what's your preference?
Speaker 2:Oh, everybody knows that Mac is so like early 2000s. Sephora is definitely that girl, sorry.
Speaker 1:That's crazy. Okay, so my wife she used to work for mac and now she's working for sephora. That's the only reason why I asked, because I know you know beat that face.
Speaker 2:I know like I know the terminology and shit so she probably knows, because mac was that girl back in the day. Don't get me wrong. Road for innovation with makeup. I remember that's how I fell in love with makeup. My mom was a young mom. I remember always going to the mac counter macy's her buying all this makeup. She had her like whole trunk of all this mac stuff. I would go in and steal and try on when I was in high school and that was like my first love for makeup. I think a lot of girls that was their first love. But if you don't keep up with the times you get left behind oh facts.
Speaker 1:What is that? A bar she's rapping, hey question, why? Why do you think mac um is not it anymore and sephora is just killing it?
Speaker 2:well, I think, when it comes to well.
Speaker 2:First of all, sephora has a bunch of different brands, right like you have in there, lady gaga in there, like you, all the brands, so of course they're winning, whereas mac, all they can really do is get these collaborations going on. Yeah, so it's kind of like fighting this like beast and also I don't know if anyone knows, but like getting technical with it. Mac was bought by, I want to say, l'oreal or revlon. It's one of those um big umbrella companies, but ever since they were bought by them, it's just really never been the same.
Speaker 1:Oh, so that's the backstory. Well, well, well, now we know. And then you said you were like were you on a legit hip hop dance team, or you just took class, or what was that about?
Speaker 2:In middle school I was on a step team. I was doing all the all that thing. When I was younger, my mom tried to put me in hula. I was on cheer too. I did cheer in Hawaii and then I went on to drill team, which is, if you don't know, it's like the dancers after the football games, like halftime they'll do like they'll go on the field and do their little dance and show. So it's, it was a little bit of everything.
Speaker 1:Honestly, it's the shit that you see on Drumline. Yeah, nick Cannon, yes, yes, it's funny that you say that, because back in Cali I used to be on a dance team too.
Speaker 2:Oh, so yeah.
Speaker 1:So, yeah, so it was Cali boy. Yeah, Filipino yeah. It was a. Thing. It was a. Thing.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it was the thing it was the thing.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so you're dancing and in fashion, right Are you? When you got into fashion, are you like cutting up and sewing things together to make them your own, or are you just mix, matching things to make it like, to make it hype and like make it look good and stuff?
Speaker 2:I would have loved to have sewn things, my grandma. She grew up just like sewing things. That's all she did for her career. I used to go to work with her when I was like younger in Hawaii to even when I moved to Texas and I just always saw her sewing like she would sew clothes, curtains, beddings, like whatever. She even sold one of my Halloween costumes one year. She's amazing, and so I really wanted to get into that, but unfortunately all my time well, fortunately my time goes towards music, but I would eventually love to have my own fashion line and have more time to create some pieces, but for now it's more so styling pieces together and in doing more like fashion styling oh, um.
Speaker 1:I still do this now, but I always go to the dookie rack of any store and I'm I'm always looking at like the ugliest thing and I would buy it and I would like mix match on what I have with it. I'm more, you know, coming from california. It's more of like your shirt matches with the shoes, or your hat matches with the shoes right. So anything above that. It's like who gives a shit, you know, who cares the shirt color as long as the hat matches with the shoes.
Speaker 1:You straight right, yeah I used to be like on that fashion tip too, where, um the dookie rack, you get a 5.99 shirt that regularly costs like 44 to make that shit look good yeah and blot out. So yeah, I like that fashion shit call. I respect that. That's dope A girl, mm-mm. Do women have zero game when trying to get a girl? Okay, this is the last one. Do women have zero game when they're trying to get a guy?
Speaker 2:Do women have zero game? I think it just depends what woman you're talking to and also how attracted that guy is, because let me tell you, you can get the baddest girl in a room, but if there is a man that she just might feel like is the most beautiful man in the world and he's getting all the attention by girls in the room, she's gonna probably slip on her game.
Speaker 2:But I think the biggest thing is just like what's their confidence level at? For me, if I really want to get someone and I can like turn it on and I'm good, like I know I'm gonna bag it, but there's times where I just get way too nervous or I don't know what to say. It's just like a human, no, and then I'd be like slipping up and then I'll try to go for like the oopsie, cute girl type of have you have?
Speaker 1:you slipped like. Has that ever happened? Uh, let's say I mean recently, or like the past nine months, where you shot your son and you're, you were stumbling and you just didn't know what to say no, I don't, okay, I don't think that's happened to me since, man, it's been a while.
Speaker 2:I don't mean to say that, look at me, but I just say that because that's that's never really been like my priority. Like I'm just so focused and for me, if it happens that connection's there, it's going to happen. I really don't feel the need to like go out of my way to make it happen. Yeah, so, yeah, no.
Speaker 1:Oh, have you ever connected with someone, like, say, while you're performing and you know you get off stage and he sees you spits his line? Have you remembered a line or a comment that a person made that made you think, oh, I'm going to remember you because of that?
Speaker 2:Has that ever happened?
Speaker 1:yet, or anytime.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I mean, that happens a lot with people. Yeah, yeah, keep going, Keep going, keep going.
Speaker 2:I'm just asking that happens a lot with people in general really, but I will say there's this. One time, man, this was memorable. I was at a show and me and my best friend we went outside. It was after we had, I think, taken like any edibles or something and we went to the car to go eat the snacks. And we come out of the car and there's just a street light behind my car and there's just someone being light behind my car and there's just someone being like are you Kali? And it just like freaked me out. So I like immediately get my friend. I'm like let's go, let's go, let's go, let's go inside. So we run back inside the venue and we have like our night goes on. The next day I go to my friend's show and she's recording me because I'm doing her makeup and she posted on her story and that guy had messaged her and was like hey, like I was trying to say hi to that girl last night, can you just apologize to her for me?
Speaker 2:like I didn't mean to scare her and and I was like, well, you have to think like, coming from the situation of it being nighttime, you're under a streetlight, me and my friend are like two small, like petite girls, and you're just like coming out of nowhere of course, like I'm like stranger danger, oh yeah yeah it was funny because that whole beginning was how me and that guy started talking.
Speaker 1:Oh, no way that's cute, that's just cute. Well collie, uh girl, that was fun, thank you.
Speaker 2:I loved this conversation. Thank you for having me oh no, thank you.
Speaker 1:Um uh, where can these people find you at? And um yeah, do you have any shouts or anything?
Speaker 2:yes, so you can find my music on every streaming platform apple music, spotify, youtube. Just look up k-a-l-i space flower and you can type in chris's favorite song cadence and I will immediately pop up which you can find on there. Or you can find me on all social media platforms at callie the girl.
Speaker 1:K-a-l-i the girl yeah, slay queen um you have any shouts or anything.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I just want to shout out everyone who's watching this, everyone who's supporting me, my family, my friends. I would not be here doing what I love without you guys and obviously I always want to give it up to god, because he is the one who gets me through all the trials and tribulations.
Speaker 2:And we're here and we're breathing and I just want to leave everybody with one word that if you really have like a passion or desire in your heart, there's a reason why that was planted in you. So be a little curious, follow it and see where it takes you, because it could lead to your purpose in life of impacting a lot more people than you think you would oh my god, I almost shed a tear.
Speaker 1:That was no, that was beautiful. No, thank you, that shit was that, shit was cool. Um, shout out to km studios. Thank you for the lovely home, rappy bite. Thank you for the lovely home, raffy Bite. Thank you for the lovely beats man. With that being said, I'm Chris and I'm Kali. There it is, and we out this bitch. Peace.
