The REALationship Method
The REALationship Method is a comedic podcast about dating, relationships, and advice, blending tips with plenty of tangents. With stories and experiences shared by the cast and guests, it offers cautionary tales to help you avoid making the same mistakes. So sit back, relax, and maybe learn a thing or ten!
The REALationship Method
Swiping Left on Dating Apps and Right on Authenticity with Lex
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What happens when airline industry insights collide with modern dating adventures? In this candid conversation, Chris welcomes Lex from the Sidebar Pod to share her journey through both professional challenges and romantic explorations in Hawaii.
Lex pulls back the curtain on her seven-year career with Hawaiian Airlines, from her beginnings as a guest service agent to her current management role. Her stories range from hilarious to jaw-dropping—including an unforgettable encounter with an irate passenger who called her the C-word during a flight diversion crisis. Even more impressive is her dedication to advancement, once commuting daily between islands for three months straight just to secure a full-time position.
The conversation shifts to the battlefield of modern dating, where Lex describes the frustration of app-based connections that rarely materialize into real meetings. "I'm 30, I don't want a pen pal," she confesses, echoing the sentiments of many singles navigating digital romance in 2025. Her entertaining story about being recognized from TikTok at a sports bar demonstrates that sometimes the most promising connections still happen organically.
Both hosts open up about their therapy journeys, discussing how professional support has improved their communication skills and self-awareness. Their honest dialogue normalizes mental health conversations while highlighting how therapy can enhance relationship capability—whether with romantic partners, roommates, or family members.
Throughout the episode, Lex shares insights on adapting to island life as a Seattle transplant, maintaining her sports loyalties while embracing Hawaiian culture, and finding community in new places. The pair wrap up with a playful exploration of where to meet potential partners in everyday settings, from Target's home goods section to Costco's notorious free sample stations.
Join us for this authentic, humor-filled conversation that weaves together professional growth, dating adventures, and the universal search for connection. Whether you're navigating career challenges, swiping through dating apps, or considering therapy, this episode offers both practical wisdom and the comforting reminder that you're not alone in your journey.
• Working as a manager for Hawaiian Airlines and dealing with difficult passengers including one who used the C-word
• The logistics of commuting between islands for work, including a period when Lex flew daily from Honolulu to Maui
• Dating app experiences and the challenge of moving from online matching to real-life meetings
• How organic meetings can sometimes lead to more meaningful connections than dating apps
• The benefits of therapy and personal growth for improving communication skills
• Living with roommates versus enjoying the freedom of living alone
• Navigating life in Hawaii as a transplant from Seattle
• Potential places to meet people organically in everyday settings like Target and Costco
Follow Lex on Instagram and TikTok, and check out the Sidebar Pod for more entertaining conversations.
Podcast Introduction and Meeting Lex
Speaker 1five, four, three, two, one. Welcome back to another episode of the relationship method fuck me podcast. Um, damn, um, I'm chris. Uh, fuck, uh, yeah, hold on. Uh, I'm ch. Thank you for joining me today while I fix my shit. So unprepared, so unprofessional, god damn. Today I have a lovely guest. I've been on her ass for a coom in it. Now you know what Fuck it. She goes by the name of Lex.
Speaker 2Yay.
Speaker 1Fuck, that was like that kind of sucked for like the last 10 seconds.
Speaker 2You know, I thought I didn't have my shit together, but you're making me feel really good about myself, thank you.
Speaker 1That's what I do. That's what I do. I make you feel comfortable, lex. Before we start dipping into, you know these. Before we start dipping into shit. How did I get the yes from you? Well, after.
Speaker 2I don't even know. It's been months. Yeah, it has been months. I want to say we're like creeping up on a year. Yeah, okay, okay, okay, okay, tlc, yeah. But you know, I was just I'm in this very like let's fucking do it kind of mood. I got bangs and I'm just ready to conquer the world all it took was a haircut and she all gravy yeah, 2025, new year, new me. Let's do things.
Speaker 1Let's do great things. Hell yeah, new year, new me. Same me, though, yeah yeah same bullshit yeah, same bullshit, but yeah, how did I get the yes? Uh, is it just me just constantly dm in?
Speaker 2yeah, it was a little annoying, but it's fine cool.
Speaker 1You know what I'll take it um, as long as it's annoying and not stalker ish no, it wasn't, it was just very persistent and I applaud you on that. Like that was great okay, well, you know what I do appreciate you for finally saying yes, you know, uh, happy to be here. Oh, thank you. Thank you reminded me of, like you know, barney Stinson you, how I Met your Mother.
Speaker 2I haven't gotten into it I tried to start it, but I don't know, I can't get it to stick.
Speaker 1Oh well, Barney Stinson gets the yes almost all the time. Not with me, though. I've gotten a lot of no's, but yeah, what do you do on the outside world, Ms Lex?
Speaker 2do on the outside world? Uh, miss lex. Um, I work for horn airlines. I am a manager at the guest service um well at the airport?
Speaker 1yeah. Guest service agents, oh okay. Um, any crazy ones have you had to deal with like crazy people yet?
Speaker 2yes, oh, because I don't know how much you travel, but every time you go to the airport, the common what am I trying to say? The common travelers don't really have common sense.
Speaker 1Common is not so common.
Speaker 2No. So once they start getting to the airport, they just start getting dumber and dumber the closer they get to the airport. And I'm sorry, but the passengers just they're crazy, Like there's something different every single day.
Speaker 1Really, what's the most craziest customer you had? Oh, I, something that just popped. Like you remember this super vivid.
Speaker 2This one passenger. This actually happened recently. This one passenger called me the C word.
Speaker 1For a letter Yep With a vowel after the C. Yep Got you Okay.
Speaker 2N-T. You know, you know?
Speaker 1Okay, was it a guy or a girl?
Speaker 2It was a guy, a father.
Speaker 1Ew Okay, I know.
Speaker 2Yeah, so I mean it was. There was a storm that happened. We, yeah, so I mean it was. There was a storm that happened. We had a lot of delays, diversions, okay, a flight came in that was supposed to go to Maui, came to Honolulu and they were waiting for their stroller, but it was irregular operations and so we didn't have a team ready like to. You know, we weren't expecting this plane to come in and the passenger just was getting frustrated and didn't want to wait for his stroller anymore. Actually, no, it was a car seat, so they weren't even going to use it through the terminal. So I don't understand what his big because I was. I offered let's bring it to baggage. You're going to have to go down there anyways. It just makes it easier for you. He just got kept getting frustrated and it? It just makes it easier for you. Yeah, he just kept getting frustrated and it was all my fault that that plane got diverted.
Speaker 1So then he just popped off and called me the C word. He used the C word. Was he like English, or was he Australian?
Speaker 2Oh no, he was very much English, American.
Speaker 1Oh really, mm-hmm See, because across the pond they use that word very loosely really, yeah, they do actually.
Speaker 2Oh, interesting, now you know. Yeah, I wouldn't give him that benefit, okay, yeah but he was just.
Speaker 1He was an american guy that just used that c word yeah, he was a real dick himself.
Life as an Airline Manager
Speaker 2How hard was it for you to maintain your composure at that time well, that was actually after I've walked away from him twice and I came back and was like I'm so sorry, but you know they're working on it, but I'm happy to have everything brought to you baggage service for you, to make it easier for you and he didn't want to hear it and um, so, yeah, by the time I came back to him to give him a complaints card. I'm like here, here you go, write in your experience. And then, yeah, it happened. And I just looked at him and I was like you know what? I hope you have the day that you deserve after this. Oh, you actually said that. I said that to him.
Speaker 1Wow, what do you think was going on in his mind when he heard that comment? He probably wanted to to like go off even more, but I walked away. Could it have been?
Speaker 2a viral moment, like if, like, say, if there were other people around.
Speaker 1Well, there were other people around, but yeah, it probably could have been oh, I would have been like oh, I have the girl that just mouth off on some customer like I know my shit right now leave them.
Speaker 1I'm a male dude girl. That's crazy. Um, all the times that I've traveled, I've never had a problem like I. I still be dumb, though, because I still don't know how to use the kiosk sometimes, or I still don't know which ticket goes on the bag, which sticker. You feel me I'd be stupid like that yeah, no, because it's okay.
Speaker 2The bag tags are different, I think, at every kiosk at every airport. So that's okay, we'll let that one go.
Speaker 1Okay, cool, but, um, I do be pulling out my ID to the person and I'm like yes, ma'am, yes, sir, that's perfect.
Speaker 2As long as you have your IDs ready, we love you.
Speaker 1Oh cool, well, shit, tips, have your ID out. It's okay to fuck up your baggage and yes, sir, yes, ma'am goes a long way.
Speaker 2Yes.
Speaker 1Please, and thank you, and thank you. A smile a day. Ah, good day, mate man. Hell, yeah, that's what's up and um lex, you are one half of the sidebar pot correct?
Speaker 2yes, me and my girlfriend leva leva, not girlfriend partner.
Speaker 1I don't know um pod co-host uh, friend pod co-host partner, but she's not friend. Who's a girl?
Speaker 2yeah, we're not a thing, but not a thing you're. You're a unit yeah, we're a team there, they go there.
Speaker 1Go that's. That's politically correct. Yes, you're a team, okay? Um, I've listened to your shit. You guys are. You're fucking hilarious, right? And? Um, thanks, we think we're funny oh no, y'all, y'all funny I if I think y'all's funny, other people will think you're funny.
Speaker 1Um, I love the hijinks that y'all be going into coming into, especially when you tell your uh, your swipe stories, your, your men's stories. I think it's hilarious because I haven't, um, I haven't dabbled in that in like so long, you know, because I've been married for x amount of years now yeah but hearing other people's stories of how dating is now dude, I'm just like fuck. I'm so lucky that I it's a hard world out.
Speaker 2There is it. It is not for the week at all.
Speaker 1Give me an example. So you're the girl, the guy's looking at you, you guys match. Uh what? What happens after you guys match? Is there a text text? Is there a call?
Speaker 2So usually, so when you match like, you both mutually have to like each other.
Speaker 1Okay, okay, so like.
Speaker 2I could be swiping and I could be X-ing everybody out, because normally I do. But every now and then there's a diamond in the rough and I'm like, oh okay, I like that, and then it'll notify you if they've already seen your profile and liked you. So if I like the guy back, it'll immediately match and it'll tell you. And then you can start a conversation on the app itself oh, the app.
Speaker 1So no, calling your number doesn't get posted out.
Speaker 2No, no, it's up to you if you want to give out your number, your like instagram, your whatever communication preference you want to have oh, wow see, I'm learning these things cool or you can stay on the app, but I always get weird about that.
Speaker 1I don't know why. What do you mean? You stay on the app like you. You were texting via.
Speaker 2Yeah, yeah, you can like stay on the app if you want to. Oh.
Speaker 1Interesting. Have you had had females swiped on you? No, because so I have a preference Okay.
Speaker 2I only see guys on that side. But you can have it where you can see both or you can only see girls. Like they make it very gender neutral friendly these. Okay.
Speaker 1Yeah, that's cool I was always, always wondered that because you know, like you know, how women are aggressive now and they would try, they would try to turn a straight woman sideways right instantly so I was like it has happened or, wait, it has been attempted at me Okay, not accomplished. No.
Speaker 2Okay, okay. I have my reasons, okay Okay.
Speaker 1So you do this and the third, and then how does the oh, is it falling? I'm sorry, I don't know.
Speaker 2Ah, it's okay, Gravity is strong over here no, it is like fuck god damn.
Speaker 1Well, I guess we're on jupiter or some shit mercury's drinking the gatorade.
Speaker 2I know right, god damn.
Speaker 1Uh, fuck, I lost my train of thought. Okay, okay, the meetup. Now you guys are texting or you guys are texting on the app. Um, how does the meetup happen?
Speaker 2so that's my issue is that the guys that I match with I'll like talk to them, like on the app or like I'll get their Instagram or something and we'll continue to talk, but then I'm like who's supposed to be the one to initiate the like let's grab a drink or let's go out to dinner, kind of guy.
Speaker 1Yeah, that's what I would think too, oh but, it's you.
Speaker 2No, like I do. But then something falls through or they're not very taken like initiative on that kind of shit, and so I'm I just get frustrated. I'm like I don't, I'm 30, I don't want a pen pal, I want like someone to date and like meet in person, because like it's easy to meet people online. Yeah, and then I'm I just don't know. I don't know why I have not had a successful date off of the apps so 2025 came around. I'm like my out dating apps have you met someone organically yet?
Speaker 1no, oh my gosh, guys, do better. I swear y'all dm in me. It's like oh man, who is she? This in the third? I'm like yo but I also don't go out in public that much you're a liar, because I see your stories and you are out, but you're not out here in Hawaii, you are out in different states.
Speaker 2Yeah, I have been traveling a lot right now.
Speaker 1Yeah, that's good for you girl.
Speaker 2I know.
Speaker 1I'm very proud of you for doing that Using my benefits. Airline.
Speaker 2Yes Is it free?
Speaker 1Yes.
Speaker 2Can you bring people with you I? Is it free? Yes, can you bring people with you? I can, but they would have to pay a little bit of money. Full price no, like taxes Is it the red eye, it's whatever flight is open.
Speaker 1Oh so.
Speaker 2Hawaiian Airlines. I can fly for free. It's just based on space available.
Speaker 1Ah, not red eye, I mean, if I want to do a red eye, oh oh, in the military, if we like say, if I want to take my family somewhere, I would have to fly red eye. If I want a free flight, oh yeah, oh gosh, yeah, oh, it's correct restrictive super restrictive and and if there's like room on there, but it would go. It won't go to your like local airline or whatever. It will go to a military, I guess, like an air force airway.
Speaker 2It would go somewhere military where you're not going to like the general public yeah I'm not, so it's.
Speaker 1It's super hard to catch one of them. Flights on a good day for free yeah oh my god.
Speaker 2Yeah, traveling standby is not for the week oh girl, it is not.
Speaker 2Let me tell you if you don't get in, like you have to have your backup plans, like if you actually need to be somewhere, you kind of have to have like plan A, b, c, d, e. Like how am I going to get there? Am I going to take a different route and then drive, especially because coming from like Hawaii to the mainland? Once you get there, your airline options open up a little bit more and we can travel standby on other airlines. We just have to pay, like taxes. Okay, okay, okay.
Speaker 1Shoot. There's a story where I traveled no problem traveling here to the mainland. Coming back from the mainland here because I was on military orders, that shit was a fucking mess. Like I tell you, texas kind of sucks, I've never been, oh my.
Speaker 2God, now I don't want to go. Yeah, please don't go.
Speaker 1That airline fucking. I mean not airline, but the okay. So the airport, it was pretty cool, it was big as shit.
Speaker 2I was going to ask was it airline or airport, Because that does make a difference.
Speaker 1Oh okay, the airport's cool, but the airline kind of sucked. I forgot what airline I was on. American Could have been American.
Speaker 2They're big down there.
Speaker 1Are they? Yeah, that's what she said. Pause, I had to. No, but okay, so I was supposed to fly back, I guess. Okay, so I was in Louisiana. I flew from Louisiana to Texas. Right, Our flight in Louisiana got delayed, Not our fault. Flew to. I had to get a connecting flight. Flew to hot damn Texas. That flight that I was supposed to be on in Texas motherfucking flew away. So I was like, oh wait, hold up, my shit is on that.
Speaker 2It left without you.
Speaker 1Yeah, it left because you know like it was the airline was, it was delayed. So I'm saying like two hours delayed this flight, just freaking. It left 30 minutes before we landed. So I was like, oh fuck, what am I supposed to do? So, you know, I called my fucking boss you know my bosses and everything and they're like oh, can you try to get another flight?
Speaker 2I'm like, motherfucker, this is your job you know, I'm just letting you know I'm not physically on that plane so what?
Dating Apps and Modern Romance
Speaker 1we because I was in a group what we all did was like, yo, man, can we put a? Can you put us on standby? When's the next fight? It's like, oh, there's no, no, flights direct, uh, directed to hawaii. You have to like, um, what's it called connecting flights? Right, yeah, I was like, okay, I'm cool with the connecting flight, but like the layover fucking sucked, so I wasn't doing that. So we waited, like uh, for one whole night. We waited there and then, of course, we got a hotel room, because me it was like me and like six other people I was like, dude, I'm just gonna stay right here. There's a bathroom right there, I'll take a shit, there's food here. But then they were closing everything down. I'm like dude, are we supposed to get the fuck out, or can we stay here? They're like oh, no, you got to leave, because there's these certain hours where no one's supposed to be in there.
Speaker 2Yeah, I fucking kid.
Speaker 1Yeah, that killed us. So we're on the standby thing and then we're supposed to fly. We're supposed to fly out at, let's say, 10 o'clock, right, but we're like, fuck this, we're going to fucking come here at five o'clock in the morning and hopefully flight could get all of our asses on. Luckily, girl, let me tell you, we kicked off because we're in military. We kicked off some like first class people, because they were because they were late.
Speaker 1Oh yeah, they're like super late oh yeah, if you're late yeah, so all six of us got to go home, you know, on that same day. But I was like fuck this airline suck it's.
Speaker 2It's a hard world out there, oh my god I wanted to cry but I couldn't cry.
Speaker 1I was just like damn. So I binged eat. You know I'm saying so. I was pooping a lot. Um, yeah, happens, oh no, girl, I was like air fucking drama yeah, has that ever happened to you, where you got frustrated with flights going to any of these places that you've been going to no oh shit, I can't relate.
Speaker 2I know right Well you know, Okay, well, let me just say, it hasn't happened yet.
Speaker 1I guess, oh, okay.
Speaker 2Because normally, like I'm pretty flexible with going my travel plans, yeah. So if I'm going somewhere and like it's really tight and I don't make it, I'm like all right, whatever, I'll just try tomorrow.
Speaker 1Oh. You know, You're that good, yeah, oh shit. Are you an OG Hawaii, or are you born here, or did you?
Speaker 2Actually born and raised in Seattle.
Speaker 1Hey, I'll stay in there. Seattle Washington. Yeah, is that why you're such a Seahawks fan?
Speaker 2Yeah.
Speaker 1Sorry, it's in my blood.
Speaker 2Except I'm so upset with the changes that have been making and all the trades I kind of don't want to talk about it Okay. I kind of don't want to talk about it, it would make me emotional, oh really. Because DK was my guy and now he's on the Steelers and that's the ugliest team I've ever existed. Why Black and white, Black and yellow.
Speaker 1Those are ugly colors, are they Look?
Speaker 2at our colors Blue and green, navy, blue, green, white.
Speaker 1All blend well, okay, okay, you know I'm not lying, you're not lying okay. Um okay, we'll talk about football. Just just one. Should Wilson should have Wilson? Should he have given it to Lynch at that one play, at the very end? Oh or were you okay with the pick or the throw?
Speaker 2no, sorry, I don't know what that was.
Speaker 1I don't know what was distracting that question. It's like I don't want to answer that, so hey there's a fly here.
Speaker 2Um, yeah, no, he shouldn't have thrown the ball on the one yard line okay, I agree too I actually. So I remember that super bowl. I had my gopro underneath the tv facing us, like me and my family, yeah, and it was you know one yard line. We were right there we got the best running back in the seat, like in the whole franchise. Oh, I see it. Yeah, see, I wasn't joking. We're not playing, so of course we're like, oh easy in, you're gonna win it two years in a row.
Speaker 2Let's fucking go. Nope, I have the recording, my dad standing up like yeah, and then just all the whole room just went silent I could see that and I'm pretty sure I cried ew, did you?
Speaker 1I got emotional. That's a little right, I I know it's like oh fuck, oh girl um, were you a supersonics fan as well?
Speaker 2Yes, but that was pretty early in my age. But I do remember we would always have a TV dinner night growing up, yeah, and we would all have. We'd go to the store, pick out our TV dinners and then go downstairs to the family room and watch the Sonics games. Oh, yeah, so it was always. It's like a good memory, I think.
Speaker 1Oh that's good, like growing up yeah.
Speaker 2It's just like oh, it's TV dinner night because it's basketball. I think I was really young so I don't know if I was really paying attention to the actual game. But I think also just Seattle sports is very embedded in me.
Speaker 1Yeah, so I'm sports is very embedded in me.
Speaker 2Yeah, I'm also a seattle mariners fan.
Speaker 1I was gonna ask you that um, what's your, what's y'all's hockey team? Is it the uh kraken?
Speaker 2yeah, it's the kraken I haven't been to a game yet, though oh, okay hockey's hard for me to understand why it's a bunch of black guys.
Speaker 1I mean black guys, oh oh, I was gonna say white man hitting a black puck racist. But okay, we could go there it's a bunch of guys hitting a puck through a net. God damn, my bad y'all. Um, I'm not gonna x that out, man. It's cool, man. It just shows that I'm human yeah you know you're cultured, yeah, of super culture.
Speaker 2You know, oh, that was bad, I don't care, oh, but yeah, so you haven't gone to a you haven't gone to a hockey game no, not yet I kind of I wanted to get into it, like a while ago when I had a roommate that was into hockey and I was trying to bond with him. But I don't know.
Speaker 1We just never went and watched hockey together roommate was uh, were you living in seattle or were you living here?
Speaker 2living out here roommate guy right yeah, I lived with two guys for about four and a half years gay or straight? They were both straight did they try?
Speaker 1one of them did. How did that go?
Speaker 2but you know, it was like really early when we it was right, okay, one of them tried before we moved in okay, and then we moved in together and it was like all brothers oh really I was their brother too. Yeah, we were for the boys oh, oh, okay, okay, okay, okay.
Speaker 1So he tried before y'all moved in.
Speaker 2So there was a friendship there yes and then y'all okay, yeah, huh, interesting and they knew each other, growing up like they grew up in um Temecula, california oh wow together and then they both moved out here separately and then they found each other, I think at like a bar uh-huh and regrouped, and then we, just all three of us, just decided to live together how did you know them?
Speaker 1were you guys go to school together, or was it?
Speaker 2one of them. I met them through friends also. Oh really, it was like hey let move in.
Speaker 1So are you living alone now?
Speaker 2Yes, I've been living alone for the last like three years now. How do you like it? I love it. Oh, my gosh right oh my God, after living with two boys.
Speaker 1Were they dirty.
Speaker 2Yes and no. Like they were dirty. And in our last house, the one that we moved out and like kind of all separated they were, they had the upstairs. The upstairs was two bedrooms and a bathroom, and then the downstairs was another bedroom, the like more public bathroom, and then the kitchen living area. So I had the. Yeah, I had the downstairs. I had to fight for it but I was like yo, it just makes the most sense. Yeah, and I shared a bathroom with one of the guys at one of our other houses and I was like I'm not doing that again. I had to clean most of the time, so it was a lot see with that.
Speaker 1Okay, I'm gonna back up our guys real quick. By ourselves we're clean, right, but collectively we are dirty as shit yeah yeah, collectively, but like by ourselves, like, let's say, I'm living by myself or like I yeah, we're like I'm clean to a certain extent, you know. Oh, it's the lip.
Speaker 2I just I want to, just because, like you guys have different levels of cleanliness. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, so like I get that, I can agree with that, but yeah, I guess.
Speaker 1Like deep dive clean, yeah. So when a girl comes into the picture, her level of clean is going to be a lot higher. It goes boosted yeah, even if you think you're the cleanest man, you're not. Oh, yeah, you know what? I agree that because my wife says, oh, my clean is different from your clean. I'm like yeah, you right, like yeah, but being in a like military, my clean is like fucking like spot on oh yeah, I've been pretty good lately.
Speaker 1That does make a difference yeah, it's, it's like nope, you better Windex that motherfucker, you better mop that shit again. You know, I see a little spot.
Speaker 2As long as you yourself, your body, is clean, then that's always going to be a good thing. What made your roommates dirty? I think just like the little things, like they would leave dishes in the sink for days and you know it's just frustrating because that's a communal space.
Speaker 1Yeah.
Speaker 2And so I'm like, hey, like your dishes have been in here, can you at least attempt to clean them or rinse them out?
Speaker 1So you communicated that. Yes, all the time I don't girl, so you're a good communicator, of course.
Speaker 2Wow, I like to think so actually I can't stand on that. I like to think that I'm a good communicator I've actually grown into it, I think I used to be a really terrible communicator and then I think you know, just after therapy and just self-work, I think I'm pretty good at it, girl, you take therapy are you?
Speaker 1absolutely um, uh, I started going. Uh, my second session was like last week oh, you're like fresh, fresh. Oh, I'm super fresh, Do you like it? You know what? The guy, that Russ, he's pretty cool, Like I like opening up to him. I went because one in the military they said I had like anger issues or whatever and I have some like PTSD sort of drama situation going on. That's valid, so they're like hey uh, we want you to go to therapy and I was like man fuck that I'm not going.
Speaker 1You know like as a guy you're like who the?
Speaker 2fuck needs I don't. I don't need to talk to nobody.
Speaker 1I got my feeling yeah right exactly, I got my boy jim, I got my my other boy, hoop, and you know what I'm saying like I'm good, I should be good, no, but I went and he said that I'm a, I'm a good communicator but there's, like you know, these three um tiers of communicating and I'm I guess I'm like the middle one I forgot what the name of it was. It's not passive, it's not aggressive, it's something else and yeah so, but therapy is, it's. It's pretty cool. Yeah, I guess.
Speaker 2Yeah, I've been doing therapy for like a long time. I used to have a therapist in seattle. Why did you start going? Well, back then I went because I was in like a long-term relationship and we were kind of like on the rocks. He moved to portland and I was still in seattle, so it was really hard for me to kind of gauge all of that you know, together and I was going just having like and I was like I don't want to take medication.
Speaker 1Okay.
Speaker 2So I was like what's my other alternative? And it was therapy and I was like, might as well try it out. I connected with my therapist there and he actually was the one who encouraged me to move out to Hawaii when I was like thinking about it.
Speaker 1And he was like just'm like yo dip the fuck out.
Speaker 2Like it's always going to be like explore the world. There's more to the rock than you know the rock so you can always come back. Like there's always the back pedal, like I know a lot of people see that as like a you know you don't want to ever go backwards in life, but there's always going to be that safety net oh, yeah, definitely yeah.
Speaker 1Like when I moved out of my, uh, my dad's spot, I went to I was living in dago for school for a little bit moved back, moved to las vegas, that shit didn't work out moved back, but I mean I was only at home for like a week and some change yeah, yeah, it's not like a long-term thing.
Speaker 2It's like I just need a break to figure my shit out. I'll get back out there Like just throw me back in the game.
Speaker 1Oh, definitely. What made you leave? What made you pick Hawaii?
Speaker 2Just because I have family out here, like extended family out here, so I would come out here all the time. My ex-boyfriend from high school, his family, would live out here. So we've come out together so it's a very like comfortable, like very familiar environment and island that I was just like. You know, I know it's expensive as shit, but I'm gonna be working and I have a job with the airline so I can travel back home when I want to yeah so it makes all those factors make it so much easier to just like live away from them oh, are you feeling to stay here?
Speaker 2I yeah, I see it like indefinitely. Everyone's like oh, are you gonna ever move back to seattle? I was like I don't think so I've been out here for seven years now, so I think I'm going pretty strong. Wow, congratulations, girl from you for deciding.
Travel Adventures and Airline Benefits
Speaker 1Oh yeah, I might stay out here for indefinitely. Big word I know, I know right holy dictionary where the um word of the day indefinitely, indefinitely, uh, oh yeah, we got lots of time. Um, uh, I moved out here in 2018 and coming from washington because I was stationed there and, um girl, uh, did you have a hard time, I guess, understanding the folk, the?
Speaker 2pigeon yeah.
Speaker 1Oh, no, because you came out here several times.
Speaker 2Yeah, because I have uncles and cousins and that's all that. They know how to talk, and so it just I understood it. It came naturally. I know the slang and stuff.
Speaker 1For the most part Do you start speaking it Like do you catch yourself speaking the kind that sounds super white?
Speaker 2Yeah, see. No, that's why I don't.
Speaker 1Oh, okay, because I will sound like that.
Speaker 2Oh, really yeah.
Speaker 1Ooh, your girl Leva. Is she local or is she from somewhere else?
Speaker 2too. Yeah, she's from Molokai.
Speaker 1Where's that? Is that north, no south. It's by Maui. Oh, okay, it's a different island.
Speaker 2It's a smaller island.
Speaker 1Okay, cool, cool, cool cool, cool, cool, cool cool.
Speaker 2Yeah, cool Um.
Speaker 1I I'm a hermit. I stay at home a lot, so like when?
Speaker 2I know all of the islands no big island.
Speaker 1Is Maui a part of the big island?
Speaker 2No, Maui is its own island.
Speaker 1Okay, maui, big island, maui, this one Oahu, that's three.
Speaker 2Yeah.
Speaker 1There's an.
Speaker 2I think there's eight total.
Speaker 1Man Hell no.
Speaker 2I don't. What are they, girl? What are they?
Speaker 1well, I know that okay, I don't know all of them, but okay, see, you on my ass, girl.
Speaker 2It's like the, the tiny, tiny ones. I don't know okay and I don't want to try and pronounce them, but there's oahu, the big island, which is like hawaii island, maui, kawai, oklokei and Lanai, okay, and then I don't know what the eighth one is.
Speaker 1I've heard of.
Speaker 2Lanai, it's a really small one. It's very inclusive. You have to kind of like be invited to get out there.
Speaker 1Oh, really, yeah. Isn't there an island like full of rats, like that's just its own thing? Or am I tripping? I don't know, okay, so when I was, you'll have to ask a true local okay, when I was in maui.
Speaker 1Um, I would see, you know, like down yonder I would see, uh, I would see an island. I was like dog, does anyone live on an island? And one of the locals was like, oh, no, no one ever goes to that island because it's like it's full of rats, that's like that's the right island. And I was like dog, is that for real?
Speaker 2and they're like, yeah, so I don't know if they're fucking with me with that but that was in maui, because there's also rabbit island out here, like on the east side.
Speaker 1Rabbit island yeah, it looks like a rabbit girl, I thought it was like full of rabbits it might be, I don't know. I don't go out there. Well, you should.
Speaker 2I was literally thinking rabbits man I wish I had more information on that. I'll dig diverant or I'll dig deeper into that one next time. Oh, yeah, yeah, please I'll do my research.
Speaker 1Yeah, dig deeper, dig deep in them, cheeks, please, thank you. Thank you, I got you appreciate, appreciate? Uh, all right, let's go. Let's go to these questions that, uh, you've been um, you've been getting, and now also I filtered them so from okay to uh to cool, all right, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool. Um, being complacent in one place, do you? Uh, have you ever had, like, say, the urge just to move? Or like say, work wise, because you've been working for the airlines for a cool minute?
Speaker 2yeah, for seven years. So when I moved out, here's when I started the job with hawaiian airlines. Okay, so what made you stick? Um? Just the opportunities, oh really because, like, once you get your foot into the door with the airline, you have so many like internal opportunities, like different departments you could go into. Yeah, so I guess I could talk about that. Yeah, I started off as a guest service agent at the Honolulu airport.
Speaker 1That's the person in the front with the dress.
Speaker 2We don't wear dresses. Oh okay, the flight attendants wear dresses. I the dress. We don't wear dresses. Oh okay, the flight attendants wear dresses. I mean, I guess some of our agents can wear skirts. I never did, I was just pants because it was more comfortable okay, okay, okay we move a lot so it's easier to just be in pants.
Speaker 2Oh, pants and sneakers got it? Yeah, okay, always, um, but no. So I started off as the guest service agent, so their ticket agents, counter agents, the baggage agents, and then the boarding agents, so the ones that let you on the plane, but they're not the flight attendants. Flight attendants different okay, yeah, that's their own department. And then there's ramp line service. There's a lot of different departments. That makes the operations go. But I say with guest service, I actually worked in maui for a few months just to get full-time seniority and I lived commuted to Maui every day for three months.
Speaker 1Wait, hold up, so you would. Okay, I'm going to break this down. Woke up for work, got ready, went to the airport, flew to Maui, started your shift Yep. Finished your shift, hopped on a plane back here. Repeat.
Speaker 2Mm-hmm, Wow you are persevered.
Speaker 1I know I was really motivated really okay.
Speaker 2I really wanted full-time and it was really hard to just go from part-time to full-time in honolulu really at that time it was just everyone was competing against it.
Speaker 2It's a lot easier for everyone to get it now, but it's fine. I'm a little bitter about it because of the shit that I had to do to get my status. Yeah, but yeah, so I did that. And then I was actually working at the airport as a guest service agent here during covid and that was crazy. We were sending planes out with like two or three people I remember that yeah uh for a covid uh mission, I flew out to maui.
Speaker 1We stayed in lahaina and um, that's in the same place, right? I didn't want you to be like this motherfucker, don't know what he's I would have. I would have stopped you okay, cool thank you, I do appreciate you welcome, thank you miss lex um. So I flew out there and dude us army people. We were the only ones on that plane.
Speaker 2Yeah.
Speaker 1Like during that COVID thing, and I was like God damn this shit Uh it was a crazy time to travel it was pretty cool, like I had my own fucking row and everything, but again, it's only like an hour away, yeah.
Speaker 2Yeah, 20 minutes.
Speaker 1Oh, is it 20 minutes?
Speaker 2It's like a 20 minute flight. Yeah, basically go up, have to chug your juice and then go back down.
Speaker 1You're there already, yeah why does this feel so much longer?
Speaker 2because of the whole process of going through security and waiting at your gate, boarding the flight and then taxiing and then takeoffs like you're really only in the air for about like 20 taxing, huh, yeah, taxing you don't ubering, you don't uber or was it? Was it lifting? Yeah you don't do the lifting, no, so you taxi yeah, that's what they call it when the aircraft is on the ground.
Speaker 1Oh, oh oh, my bad. I thought you was talking about, like going to your spot, so you get an uber no, that's like the terminology for like okay. Yeah, I'm real stupid in this episode today.
Speaker 2I'm learning you can't say like oh, I drove to the tarmac. You're taxiing on the aircraft to the tarmac, the runway, and then you take off oh, the more you know I know insider thoughts I know.
Living with Roommates vs. Living Alone
Speaker 1Thank you, thank you thank you you're very welcome oh my god, you're so appreciative. Um, okay, so after you, you did that maui thing.
Speaker 2Yes, and then uh worked here at guest service for covid and then I moved over to the hangar to do purchasing. So I bought aircraft parts for our planes and our mechanics to have stored in like the supply yeah so I did that for a few years. Couldn't really move up into that department, for I don't know there's drama and then I came back to the guest service side, but now as a manager, so kind of back to my roots, yeah it was nice.
Speaker 2It was an easy transition back because I already knew the operation. So it was just now. I'm just gaining that management experience, which is kind of like always been a goal of mine is to be a leader okay, okay, so um. I was like, oh, there's a third guest.
Speaker 1I know we just popped in no he, so uh, my bad gavin. So that's, that's gavin, our photographer uh, okay, okay, he had a gig going on on the other side. Oh okay, if you ever need like poses, pictures or whatever professionally done, he's your guy good to know. Good to know yeah, I know right, instead of, you know, putting sheets over your heads and taking pictures at the bar hey, but that also was a professional photographer, that shit was hot, though I ain't going to lie, that shit was awesome I was like, ooh, these motherfuckers are hot.
Speaker 2I was like we should just have fun and we really wanted to do the ghost trend and I was like if we're going to do it, we're going to do it. Yeah, go ham. Full blast, Like we um friend shay and I was like hey this is a weird request, but would you be able to do this trend with us? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And she was like yeah, where do you want it? We're like I'm at this mexican bar in kalihi kalihi yeah, okay, but like we go there for taco tuesdays.
Speaker 2And we asked them. We were like hey, would you guys mind if we had a shoot, like it would be kind of earlier in the day before like the big like nighttime rush, yeah. And they were like, yeah, that's fine. Okay, they're like yeah, as long as you're not like kicking anyone out of the way. And we're like no, we would never do that. We won't be in anyone's way.
Speaker 2If it's too busy, we won't do it uh-huh but we got there and it was empty and okay, just, we just had fun and I was like we're gonna do two, we're gonna or like kind of the in the same shoot. So we did like just regular photos for like our podcast, and then we did the ghost trend.
Speaker 1Oh, it was fun. I enjoyed y'all's podcast. We were very nervous why?
Speaker 2Well, leva's anxiety was like through the roof. She almost didn't get out of her car. I was like bitch, we need to go I was like we only have her for an hour.
Speaker 1We need to get our shit going. Yeah, so you use. I have anxiety.
Speaker 2I don't know. I always say I have anxiety, and then I say I feel anxious. Oh Huh, okay, okay, okay, I like that one too, you know, because anxious is the feeling.
Speaker 1Oh shit, english. All right, here we go. Okay, anxious is the feeling, feeling and anxiety is the action. Sure, no man. No, what was he gonna say? Knowledge? I actually don't know what I was gonna say. I was trying to think of it while you were talking.
Speaker 2I was like you know what I think? Yeah, yeah, yeah, we'll do, we'll go with that an improv conversation, an improvisation okay now you just make enough work. I actually been saying real words there just might be a little bigger, but well, it made sense.
Speaker 1So you know, okay, complacent, complacent, complacent, okay. Okay, you stayed at the job. Yeah, you be complacent in a relationship too. I think yeah so you're, you're long one, right? Yeah, Pause, when you were in this, were you guys like comfortable with each other, or did it come to a point where it was like, damn, this is like the same thing over. We need a little spice Not spice, but things need to change.
Speaker 2Yeah, I think so, Like we were together. We started being together in high school, like sophomore year in high school.
Speaker 1So you were like high school sweethearts, oh yeah, I know it.
Speaker 2Okay. No, I have no hard feelings for him. I think you know at the time that we ended it. Yeah, because we were together for I think, like six and a half, almost seven years marriage never popped up uh, it was thrown around but weren't like serious about it.
Speaker 1Girl, did you get a promise ring? No, thank God, promise bracelet no.
Speaker 2Good job. He did give me a necklace that had his, like the nickname that I called him Uh-huh, which.
Speaker 1You forgot.
Speaker 2I think it was Bug.
Speaker 1Oh, okay.
Speaker 2Because like love Bug. But I didn't like the love Bug, uh-huh, because I love. Bug but I didn't like the love Bug. I was like that's kind of cringy, so I would just call him Bug. Okay, okay okay, like, instead of Babe Baby, I was just like Bug. I thought it was cute.
Speaker 1No, I like that because me and my wife, we have our own nicknames and shit. I hate Babe, I hate Muffin, I hate Sweetheart and all shit. Yeah, yeah, yeah, so bug. I was like oh, um, I arranged the word rearranged babe and I call her ebops well, that's cute, yeah, and creative. It's like no one else has that, yeah, so yeah, I do, I do that with her and she was like oh, why don't you call me babe, or whatever. I was like that's just fucking ugly like it's too common.
Speaker 2Yeah, I told her straight up let's be creative. Yeah, I was like oh, love, sweet, mahal.
Speaker 1I'm like come on, man.
Speaker 2And then, like she's in the hall yeah, she's hispanic, so uhhal. I'm like, ooh, Come on man.
Speaker 1And then like she says Not the mahal. Yeah, she's Hispanic. So, mi amor, I'm like. You know. It's cool if, like, we're trying to like fuck around and be like what's it called the Addams Family? Oh mon chéri, yeah. I think it's cool, Like in that mood yeah, when your mexican accent comes out, I'm like nah man, I'm cool I'm straight.
Speaker 2I am straight, never mind, yeah also complacent.
Speaker 1Okay, so tangents right.
Speaker 2Yeah, I know um, and that's why our my podcast with leva the sidebar. That's why it's called the sidebar, because we will be talking and then we just go all the way off the rant, girl I love that and that's why it takes us so long.
Speaker 1Sometimes, you, I'll get back to the point, yeah, the.
Speaker 2The amount of editing we have, because we'll literally just sit there and be like what the fuck were we just talking about? Oh shit and then half the time we don't even know how to get back to that. We'll try and backtrack. Yeah, Doesn't always work.
Speaker 1Doesn't always work when it comes to editing of y'all. Y'all, um, do y'all really edit or y'all just really run it through, and then you just chop up the shit that really doesn't make sense and then you can delete it, put in a different section like what, how do y'all edit?
Speaker 2well, so leva edits, okay. Yeah, so we record. So that's why our setup's ghetto it's on my couch, but we so we have professional microphones and then it's like usb corded up to our iphones and that's what's recording our videos no, that's cool, I'm not knocking it.
Speaker 1I am definitely not knocking it. Don't, nope, nope, don't know it works.
Speaker 2The quality is not terrible, no it's not dude, no you know, and, like I said, cost savings, like we were trying.
Speaker 2This is just a fun hobby yeah, so we're like we're not going to dive into it, get all this professional gear yet, we'll see where it goes. Yeah, um, and so we record it. And then I like airdrop my video to Liva and then she tries to match it all up on her computer and she edits it. So I don't really know much about her editing. I know that it does stress her out and she will usually like freak out about it or like it takes her a while to do it, just because I think she's just constantly listening, chopping, listening, chopping, kind of thing yeah
Speaker 1it takes a while, but she does a really good job on doing it it is yeah, I mean it's, I would have, uh like watching your guys's stuff. It's like, oh damn, did they hire someone?
Speaker 2no you know, no, she's really good and she, yeah, she, you know, um, she didn't request, but she offered to be the one to edit it and I was like, yeah, that's fine. I was like I'll do the social media then. So all the reels and stuff that I make are off of her edit.
Speaker 2So she edits the whole video, uploads it to youtube and spotify and wherever else all your podcasting sites and shit yes, follow um, and then I take that video and I just edit it into whatever sections I want to make for our reels for instagram and tiktok oh, they do come out good thank you I give you a freaking round of applause and two snaps girl, thank you
Speaker 1yes, yes, um, I'll speak into, uh, one of the one of these podcasters here on the island and he said that it's freaking time-consuming, like clicking, clicking, clicking, clicking, yeah, and he hates it. So he likes the, I guess, the raw footage of you know, just to you know, like, instead of going back and forth, because that's what I try to do and I was like, fuck this, this is too much work, so I'm just doing it raw now like yeah yeah, so I don't know that's just could be a.
Therapy, Self-Growth, and Communication
Speaker 1It is time consuming yeah, to lessen her anxiety or be her being more anxious. Um, she could just leave it raw and just make it look nice yeah oh, don't be complacent, uh, uh. Next one is uh, is it true that a man having a masculine woman woman is a result of the environment he created? Oh, this is an intelligent one oh yeah, that's a thinker yes, girl, think away man, I don't, so a masculine.
Speaker 2so so a man having a masculine woman, what it turns him feminine, I guess, or like he's just more feminine it's a result of the environment that he created.
Speaker 1So he let the woman be more masculine than him and he can't get mad if he's trying to be masculine and the woman's like yo man, shit your ass down, I'm the man now type of situation.
Speaker 2Oh, interesting. Okay, I don't really know that it would fall necessarily all on the man. I mean it could because you, you put yourself in that situation like you knew who she was yeah when you started dating and now you guys are together. It just so happens that she just has a strong personality. That's fine. Girls do that all the time.
Speaker 2Bad bitches unite we're gonna talk about bad bitches too, um all right, so, but I don't think that, like it shouldn't necessarily reflect on the man it'll, I think it'll only blame he. Should blame himself if he's, if he's trying to change the woman because that's not who she is. Like you can't demasculinize your woman because then you're asking her to change. Like if you really love her, are you really gonna ask her to change can that flip around to where, yeah, she wants him to change?
Speaker 2yeah, like she knew what she was getting into exactly, and I get it like people will change over time, or like, yeah, in our, in my long-term relationship, like we just got so comfortable and like used to each other like there was no growth zone is what I, like would always refer to it as like we were stuck in our bubble and we were in our comfort zone the entire time, yeah so, and like we didn't, you know, ask each other to change. I think we just got like really used to each other always being around has he ever farted around you?
Speaker 2all the time oh, okay, um and I, and you know I got comfortable. Yeah, oh, you know, lay in bed, you fart, you like? Lift the covers over well, that's in bed.
Speaker 1I'm talking about, like, say, you're in the kitchen and making up something and he's just walking and he's just boop.
Speaker 2Oh yeah, why are you going to hold it in, girl, if you've been with someone for like seven years? Okay, it's weird if you don't fart in front of them.
Speaker 1Okay, see, I could understand the accident, but I still have to go somewhere else with my wife. I still got to go somewhere else and fart.
Speaker 2Is that a respect thing? Like, are you doing that out of respect?
Speaker 1Or are you just?
Speaker 2doing that because you feel like self-conscious and like uncomfortable doing it.
Speaker 1I think it's a respect To me. It's a respect thing Because I could fart with my like, my sisters, and you know my brothers.
Speaker 2Yeah, yeah, your family, because you're comfortable, but I guess it could be respecting you know.
Speaker 1But with the homies I'd be farting all kinds, but if it's a female homie, then I'd be walking out too. Though.
Speaker 2Okay, so more respect. That's classy. Yeah, that's respectful.
Speaker 1Yeah, because I mean I don't, I mean I'll be dropping the SBDs, don't get me wrong. But I'd be like ooh, ooh, you know. But yeah, like, like the whole loud ones, like I I have to get out, okay, yeah like I don't even pick my nose around her because I think it's yeah, yeah, I don't know, is that weird as a married person? Like, are you able to?
Speaker 2because like I guess, like if that's just how you see, I guess you could totally turn it into like that's just how you respect your guys's space together, that you don't want to have her see you being all gross and oh okay, you know like I don't let her touch my laundry. Oh hell no really, oh fuck yeah. Is that an ocd thing or is that? Just like? I don't want you to do my work, it's, I think it's that do her laundry.
Speaker 1Oh no, she won't let me. I like doing laundry, actually you do, or don't I like it? I like it yeah yeah, but I know you fold your shit in the right way, someone else does it they fuck it up.
Speaker 2You have to refold it anyway. So it's just like you know what. I've always been like that too so is that ocd? I don't know, oh maybe it's just like a personality trait oh, my therapist says I have adhd, do you undiagnosed?
Speaker 1no, I'm diagnosed adhd. No, I feel like I'm undiagnosed.
Speaker 2It's never been brought up in my therapy. You should ask.
Speaker 1Are you still going to therapy?
Speaker 2Oh yeah.
Speaker 1You should definitely ask Just one time, Just like you know what I was on a podcast, he asked me to ask you can you diagnose me if I have ADHD or not?
Speaker 2Oh no for real.
Speaker 1Do it please. Okay, yeah, I will, I'll bug you. I'll do it please. Okay, yeah, I will, I'll bug you, I'll do it okay. Cool, cool how I got. Adhd is um funny story. No, you know what? It's not a funny story. Um, I was talking to the dude and he saw me fidget, like I was just like.
Speaker 2I was like this, but my hands were always like this, but I'm like this oh, so you're like always moving yeah, and then that's adhd, I thought that was just like a no, it's adhd symptom of anxiety having anxiety, being anxious, whatever anxious, whatever the we're gonna use being anxious all right okay, I'm playing, don't be no, but uh, he saw me doing that and now I you know I'm very like observant, so I watched him you. You could feel when he was like looking at yeah yeah, and then he was fidgeting as well.
Speaker 1So he was like picking up something. He was like like he had a bracelet on his desk. He would pick it up and go like this for a good I'm going to say seven seconds, Just like listening to me talk, and then he would put it back down and then he would do it again, but with his left hand. I was like, hmm, and then he saw me. He was like do you want to take an ADHD test? I was like man, I ain't no retard. What the fuck do you mean? I took real offense to it, but I was trying to be funny at the same time.
Speaker 1Yeah, yeah, yeah, he was like no, no, no, I meant it as, like you know, an ADHD and I, yeah, yeah, I understand what you're saying, man, I'm not trying to be a dick, so he did?
Speaker 2I just used my humor as a defense mechanism, right, oh my.
Speaker 1God, I'm glad you caught that shit. So we did. And then he was like I have ADHD too. And I was like sorry you're trying to say I have it. Yeah, just because you have it, doesn't?
Speaker 2mean I.
Speaker 1I have it. And he was like how did you go for so long without being diagnosed? I was like dog, I don't know. And he asked me these questions like do you blurt out things to get you on track? And I was like yeah. And he was like do you um, what is it? Your attention span isn't as like. I was like yeah, but isn't every adult?
Speaker 2tension span isn't as like I was like yeah, but isn't every adult you know? And then she's like oh, do you uh, that not normal?
Speaker 1yeah, I was like do you fidget? I was like, who doesn't fidget, you know?
Speaker 2but I guess you sit still like I think something's wrong with you. Right, yeah, right no, but yeah.
Speaker 1so I took these tests and he was like, yeah, um, and then I told him I was like, well, when it comes to me like really focusing, I focusing, I write, like, I write the info down yeah. And like that's how I've been passing my test, because I'm really bad in school. But if I'm like writing down whatever the person's saying or whatever, like I could remember it.
Speaker 2Yeah.
Speaker 1And then when it comes to like tasks, I guess when I get instruction, hearing it, I'm like oh, no, no, I'm fucking stupid, but I'm a more hands-on person, so like, oh, I'm there visual and like I need to like, jump out of adhd really girl, maybe I'd have it too.
Speaker 2You probably do you know, I'm not knocking, because like so, back to the school thing and writing it down. Yeah, like. So how I found the best study method for myself was I would make a cheat sheet. So like, yeah, if I was gonna be cheating, I would make a little post, like a little index card of all the shit that I needed to study and remember.
Speaker 2I wouldn't use it, but just having that mentality of like, oh, I'm gonna use this cheat yeah it just all went in there and I like I was a good student because of my cheat sheets that I never used were you a valedictorian? Uh no fun fact I was a valedictorian of my Hawaiian Airlines guest service class. Shut your.
Speaker 1Wait, wait, wait, valedictorian for your Hawaiian Airlines.
Speaker 2To pass my training.
Speaker 1Oh, you got the highest scores. Congratulations, I'm so proud of you.
Speaker 2Because I didn't want to have to move back right away. If I failed, what the fuck am I going to do?
Speaker 1Oh really.
Speaker 2Yeah, I took a lot of time to study for that training class.
Speaker 1Oh girl. Fun fact then, when I went to SLC and this is called the Senior Leadership Course in the Army I got honor grad myself.
Speaker 2Oh my God, Look at us, I know right.
Speaker 1Fucking doing this shit girl.
Speaker 2Oh my.
Speaker 1God, no, because there were a lot of people in my class. I was like man, I'm fucking, I want undergrad, I'm fucking taking this shit yeah, like I was like okay, I'm just here to pass like in my head, I'm just like dude, it ain't that fucking serious as long as I don't fail, I'm good, exactly I was like you know I'm trying, but I'm not gonna like like the pt test right, I'm not gonna get no fucking 600 that's a high score.
Speaker 1Okay, girl, the to pass is a 350. Girl 352, hell yeah, I'm just, I'm just trying to make it. And then these tests. I'm like I'm not buying. No, I'm not buying nothing extra. I'm not buying no, boards I'm not buying no, you know, like the graphics on the powerpoint shit. I'm not doing nothing, I'm just following the template that they gave me and all this shit. And then these fuckers are going above and beyond. I'm like, dude, there's nothing in instruction that say fucking, go above and beyond.
Speaker 2It's not that serious, yeah, fucking extra credit, you know.
Speaker 1But yeah, girl, I came out on top and I was like whoa, this is a fucking surprise to me. Love that.
Speaker 2Oh love that, oh gosh right for you motherfuckers were sour as hell.
Speaker 1Of course I was like oh, they're always like that.
Speaker 2I apologize, but you know y'all shouldn't have went, that you guys did that to yourself. Yeah, it's like respectfully, you know, but good job, good, good job to you, right back at you oh, thank you.
Speaker 1Um, I forgot what we're fucking talking about. Um the okay oh man, the man being c tangent um the man being um. Okay, so you guys were complacent that that what we talked about therapy, um, complacency, um okay, I'm going to go back to uh, fucking tinder or whatever right yeah um, when you finally meet the dude, like you guys finally set the date yeah uh, was this guy chivalrous yeah, they usually are at first, at first, yeah so there's a second date, third day, or is it just the beginning of the night?
Speaker 2you know, sometimes there's multiple dates. I you know, I'll be honest, it's been a while since I've been on an actual date with someone outside of, like my friend group or like, uh, like an unknown. Yeah, yeah, like, yeah, exactly, are you open to?
Speaker 1the unknown person.
Speaker 2Yeah, absolutely yeah.
Speaker 1You are.
Speaker 2How can an unknown uh-huh, here you go, yes.
Speaker 1How does an unknown person uh, get your, you know, get your fancy? I'm not talking about like in the sheets, but like it's you, uh like, oh okay, uh, yes. How can an unknown get the yes from miss lex?
Speaker 2um I should wind did. Um, you know, just don't be annoying about it, so I will. I will tell a story. So about this one guy he's still like loitering around in my dms, which is fine I like the word use lording l-o-u-r right loitering oh loitering.
Speaker 1Oh, okay, okay, okay, uh.
Hawaii Life and Island Knowledge
Speaker 2English is my second language um, yeah, so how we met was football. I was at buffalo wild wings watching football. I remember specifically I think it was like a sunday night game seahawks versus sealers um, so it was the only game showing at the bar. I was the only girl and one of the only few well, like only girl by herself, okay, sorry and one of the only few seahawks fans in that sitting at the bar.
Speaker 1Okay.
Speaker 2And at that time there was a huge Steelers fan base in that area, okay, and they were all there and they were just being obnoxious Steeler fans that you guys are Mm-hmm. And so single girl sitting by herself watching football Apparently that's a fast track, for, oh, let's play a game to see how many guys can hit on this girl. And they were all Steelers fans. And let me tell you, I at least I so I knew the bartenders and everyone.
Speaker 2There was a time I had to tell them take this chair away from me, I need to sit by myself. Because they were like they were trying to talk to me during the game. I'm like you need to wait for a commercial or, like you know, injury break or some shit. Like don't be talking to me on third second down at all. Like we have the ball shut up, you know, yeah, and they like wouldn't leave me alone. So I had to have the bartender step in and be like yo, she's trying to be nice, but she also just doesn't want you around her yeah and so then they took the chair away, so it was just me by myself.
Speaker 2But this other guy came from like. He was sitting with his friends at like a far table. He came over to order a drink next to me at the bar and he was. He just turned to me. He goes, you know, you look really familiar and I was like, oh, what do you mean?
Speaker 1like okay, I don't really get out much.
Speaker 2I was like I come here like a lot, but I was like I also work at the airport. I don't know, do you fly a lot? And he was just like no, you just like look really familiar. And he kept saying that and I was just like, okay, well, like I didn't grow up out here so I don't really know what you're getting at. Like he tried to ask like what high school did you go to? And I was like oh, one in washington. And so, like he kept using that line. I'm like what the fuck does this guy want? And so he goes are you on TikTok?
Speaker 2And that was back in the day, like I was posting a lot of TikToks, and somehow it like scrolled on his For you page and I showed up and I was just like, oh, yeah, so then we just like small talk, like I was actually engaged in that because I don't know, I don't know what it was like. He's a good looking man too, and it was just the way that he wasn't like aggressive or like you know anything crazy. It was just oh, I think I I see you on tiktok. And then he was like well, he was like I know you're a seahawks fan. I was like I'm not a fan but like let's make a friendly wager.
Speaker 2He goes if the steelers win, I'll buy you a drink. If the seahawks win, you buy me a drink. If the Seahawks win, you buy me a drink. And I was like okay, that's fine. And then he walked away, like that was it. Like he got his beer and left and I'm just carrying on watching my game, eating my chicken. And then I finished my beer and before I could order another one, the bartender brings me a beer and like this is from him and I just like waving at me Is the game done.
Speaker 1No, oh, okay, it was still going.
Speaker 2I had just finished my beer and he just bought one for me anyways, but like the way he did it, I was just like okay, that's memorable and that was like years ago, that was like four years ago.
Speaker 1And he's still loitering around, loitering, he's still there.
Speaker 2He was coming and in for a while and he's still there. Oh, keep him in my back pocket.
Speaker 1Oh, um, you know the story that you said. I remember hearing it on one of your yep. Y'all need to listen follow sidebar pod. There's more stories like that. I think it's cool.
Speaker 2But no, that's that's the story. That like cause I've been hit on before, but it's just like how you do it Like don't come at me and be like aggressive and a lot of guys would like ask for my numbers. I wouldn't give them my number. I would take their number. So like balls in my court. Now I'm like if I didn't vibe with you then I'm not going to text you.
Speaker 1Yeah, oh, I like that Take action oh girl, when I was like playing the field years, years, years, years ago, years or years ago, uh, I used to give people, uh, my email address, or I used to ask the the opposite sex. Their email address was like oh, you don't want my number. I was like no, I just want your email address. And they're like the fuck why? Because I want to write a lengthy uh, an email.
Speaker 1I want to be your pen pal, yeah no, because if, uh, my thing was, if I emailed you and you email me like a an intelligent response oh, and I'm like okay cool, like I have something in common, because I don't want no, I didn't want nothing ditzy or anything yeah because I've been, you know, I've been around the block a couple times, so I I know what I like now.
Speaker 1So it's like if I could hold a conversation with you, or if you could hold a conversation with me via email, and I'm interested. I'm like bet, you know you're like a dime a dozen, but yeah, email address. I never asked for an ig crazy yeah, right, uh, look, can I get your email address?
Speaker 2oh my, god, if someone came up to me and said that I'm just you're like, I don't even know what I would do really, what would you do if that happened?
Speaker 1okay scenario time here we go ready, ready, ready. Okay, cool. Five, four, three, two, one. Hi. How's it going? Just do it. Come on, hi. How's it going?
Speaker 2oh, it's good. How are you?
Speaker 1good, good do. Would you happen to know how much a polar bear weighs? No enough to break the ice. Hi, my name's chris. Um, what you drinking? Oh, hennessy here, all right, uh bye oh not the hennessy. Okay, cool, uh, beer hurt with it.
Speaker 2With that line would have worked I guess, like it would have made me laugh, cool like it did, like that was natural, okay, cool coming back. It's a little corny but super corny it was kind of more of like an uncomfortable laugh, like is this conversation gonna get better or is it gonna end?
Speaker 1yeah, uh, it's gonna get better. Uh, um, just wait, girl, I'll find you interesting. Uh, can I get your email address? You know what it's not gonna work? Fuck it. No, it has to be like in a different setting.
Speaker 2You know what I would I would have maybe considered if it was a different, like oh, okay, okay, I think your like delivery was a little super is super off. I've been out of the game in years and it shows, but you know, lucky for your wife oh yeah, thank you, but no, the playing field out there today is it? It's hard, that tough yeah I've like kind of taken a break from like actually trying, but like one of these days I'll get out there and, you know, meet someone organically what's?
Speaker 1what's an? What's a? Okay, before we dip, what's a good organic place to meet you or meet someone like the? The um, the washing machine place? What's it called laundromat?
Speaker 2well, I have washer and dryer in units. Well then, fuck this. Um oh okay okay, um, okay.
Speaker 1They don't have Barnes and Nobles here, a Foodland.
Speaker 2Oh, maybe, yeah, Target Costco.
Organic Ways to Meet People
Speaker 1Of course Target Women and Target Okay, target In the houseware section. Would you be caught in there?
Speaker 2Yeah, I like to peruse around see how I can upgrade my living space.
Speaker 1Yeah, Okay, looking for a rug, I think your drapes would match this rug color.
Speaker 2There we go. Yep, there it is. Yeah, that's the one. Oh wow, just like that. Here's my email address.
Speaker 1Subject the rug matched the curtains confirming this organic target um starbucks? Can you do it at a starbucks?
Speaker 2um, or is that just too fast?
Speaker 1yeah, maybe, but I usually do mobile order because of my anxiety no, you're just super anxious, okay, um, uh, okay, this target walmart, you don't go.
Speaker 2I don't go to one, I go to target costco oh, costco because you have to have a membership to get in oh shit, oh yeah, you're right.
Speaker 1How about um?
Speaker 2they don't just let anybody in there? No, but how about?
Speaker 1What's the other place? Is it like a Costco?
Speaker 2Sam's Club. Sam's Club, I don't have.
Speaker 1Sam's Club though. Oh okay, yeah, let me ask you this real quick. Yeah, costco, do you double dip the goddamn free samples?
Speaker 2Yeah, hell yeah.
Speaker 1Oh my gosh, I go like three, four times different disguises.
Speaker 2You just got to block around. Take your hat off, put your purse somewhere else, Put your glasses on. Yeah, yeah, yeah, take off the glasses, or put the glasses sideways like this or like if you're with someone and be like, okay, you go get this round, I'll go get the other one. Yeah, it's like oh, auntie, I need some for my cousin. I'm grabbing for her. She doesn't want to.
Speaker 1Sundays right.
Speaker 2I think so yeah, hell yeah. See, that would be a great place. We both reach for the same sample.
Speaker 1Oh wow, that's like some fucking serendipity shit. Do you like rom-coms? I do. What's your favorite Top three?
Speaker 2Let's see, I like Miss Congeniality.
Speaker 1Sandra Bullock's Seas yes, no Strings Attached.
Speaker 2That's with Ashton Kutcher and.
Speaker 1Brittany.
Speaker 2No, what's her name? It's like the same thing as the one with Justin Timberlake and Mila Kunis.
Speaker 1Is Mila Kunis in this one? No, no, ok. I forgot the similar storyline though. Oh, ok, friends, they do like friends with benefits, and then they end up falling in love. Okay, yeah, what's your other one?
Speaker 2oh, geez, you said three yeah, well, you gave me two uh, I can't even think of a third right now loser I know, I guess I'm not that much of a fan, oh right, my top three is um, serendipity, that's one.
Speaker 1Uh. Next one would be uh, have you ever watched the wood? Is that a rom-com?
Speaker 2I've never seen it. You've never seen the wood, no, so I I'm not. I'm that bitch that you're like oh, have you watched this or have you watched this? No, really I stick to my like five things that I watch.
Speaker 1Oh for real Over and over again yeah, oh, okay, well, okay, I know awkward, it always changes the stuff.
Speaker 2Everyone's always just like, okay, never mind Super awkward, you know earlier you were like have you watched how I Met your Brother?
Speaker 1No.
Speaker 2I watched like two episodes, oh, and then I switched back to like Friends.
Speaker 1Friends is Southern California's favorite show. Everyone in Southern California loves Friends.
Speaker 2I will do a Friends reference Like no one's business. Oh for real, yeah, how you doing Exactly.
Speaker 1Oh, hell, yeah, Hell yeah, lex, that was fun. Yeah, do you have any shout outs, or where can these people find you at?
Speaker 2You guys can find me on Instagram, I guess, and TikTok too.
Speaker 1Because I guess I'm very familiar, right? Oh, you look very familiar tiktok.
Speaker 2Okay, uh, and yeah also, the sidebar pod is on instagram and tiktok hell yeah hell yeah hell.
Speaker 1Yeah, uh tiktok. I thought he was gonna pull side note sidebar. I thought I was gonna be like, oh, I've seen you in my dreams, type shit you know, I was waiting for it to get fucking corny, yeah, and it didn't.
Speaker 2And that's why I think I was just like, oh, you know what he was like, maybe actually making conversation.
Speaker 1Okay, yeah, good job to you, guy yeah.
Speaker 2I don't know your name, but good job to you. He knows who he is, ooh, on my podcast and he was just like you said my name. I was like no, I didn't say your name. Yeah, I didn't even say like what location we were at Uh-huh, because that would give it away too. Wait, hold up. You said you were at B-Dubs.
Speaker 1Yeah, okay, but there's like four on the island so Is there yeah yo peoples and my peoples, be my wingman, literally your wingman, right with ranch, please. Ko Studios. Thank you for the lovely home. Rafi Byte, thank you for the lovely vibes man with that. I'm Chris and I'm Lex and we out this bitch peace.
