The REALationship Method
The REALationship Method is a comedic podcast about dating, relationships, and advice, blending tips with plenty of tangents. With stories and experiences shared by the cast and guests, it offers cautionary tales to help you avoid making the same mistakes. So sit back, relax, and maybe learn a thing or ten!
The REALationship Method
Indonesia to Hawaii, Anti-aging, and Meeting a Man from Church with Lovina
What happens when science and relationships collide? Lovina, a PhD student specializing in anti-aging biology, joins Chris to explore this fascinating intersection while sharing her unique journey from Indonesia to Hawaii.
Born in Indonesia and having left at age 14 for Seattle before eventually settling in Hawaii, Lovina immediately felt at home in the islands. "Hawaii is a lot like Indonesia," she explains, noting the similarities in climate, culture, and friendly people that made her transition seamless. This geographical compatibility becomes a backdrop for her scientific pursuits and personal growth.
As a researcher focused on the genetic aspects of aging, Lovina debunks common misconceptions about anti-aging products while confirming that exercise and diet remain the two most significant factors in slowing the aging process. She offers a rare glimpse into the unglamorous reality of laboratory work, including late-night visits to feed stem cells, demonstrating the dedication required in scientific research. Her content creation journey emerged naturally from wanting to document these experiences while promoting local businesses, creating a unique niche that bridges academic research with everyday life.
The conversation delves into cultural influences, particularly how growing up in an Asian household shaped Lavina's perspective. "My dad would never say 'I'm proud of you' – only what I needed to improve," she reflects, noting how this upbringing affects her current relationship dynamics, especially with her boyfriend whose primary love language is words of affirmation. This cultural contrast reveals how deeply childhood experiences influence adult relationships and communication styles.
From Chinese New Year traditions to the science of mosquito preferences based on blood types, Lovina's diverse knowledge base creates an engaging narrative that weaves together science, culture, and personal growth. Follow Lovina on Instagram @lovina_28 to continue following her scientific journey and daily adventures in Hawaii.
• Indonesia's similarities to Hawaii make it feel like home despite moving away at age 14
• Creating content to share her scientific research and promote local businesses
• Anti-aging research focusing on genetic factors rather than cosmetic products
• Exercise and diet remain the two most important factors in slowing aging
• Meeting her boyfriend at church and developing friendship before romance
• Quality time as her primary love language, despite difficulty giving words of affirmation
• Growing up in an Asian household with high expectations shaped her approach to achievement
• Lab work sometimes requires feeding stem cells at 11pm
• Chinese New Year traditions including not cleaning, washing hair, or wearing black and white
• Blood type potentially influencing who gets more mosquito bites
5, 4, 3, 2, 1. Welcome back to another episode of the relationship method podcast. I'm chris and today I got a very special guest, a very lovely guest, by the name of lavina yay Girl, welcome to the podcast.
Speaker 2:Thank you for having me Girl.
Speaker 1:No, thank you thank you Before we get this going, lavinia, how did I get the yes from you to come on?
Speaker 2:Well, I saw that you did some podcast with MJ so I'm like if she did it, then it's a cool podcast hey shout out to MJ Meow, meow, meow, meow.
Speaker 1:Appreciate you, girl, hope you're doing good. Hell, yeah, hey, that's you know what. Thank you. I do appreciate you for coming on and, lovina you said there was traffic here earlier today coming in Right here earlier today coming in from a town and people that don't know where town is. That's Waikiki area. Yeah, that type of situation, right, right, yeah. What did you see? Or what happened?
Speaker 2:There's a really bad accident. I think there's over like six cars on the side of the street, so I'm not too sure what happened but yeah, oh, my goodness, um, you've been on this island for a good amount of years, right?
Speaker 1:yeah, um, from a scale from one to ten, uh, how can you? Uh, what do you grade these drivers? Because I know you've been somewhat around the world. What do you think of the local driving?
Speaker 2:out here. Honestly, they're pretty safe, Like a lot safer than California drivers for sure I was about to say that, yeah. And they drive a lot slower. Oh, yeah, they do, but sometimes I don't know. Sometimes it's these tourists too, oh true facts, yeah, so grade them.
Speaker 1:Grade them Like from 1 to 10. 1 being worse, 10 being. I don't need to watch my side view mirror.
Speaker 2:I mean, they're actually really nice. So I would say, like maybe a 6 or a 7 out of 10. Hey, 6 or 7.
Speaker 1:You just got graded Hawaii. Um, do you have you thrown the shocker lately too? Do you do that? The shocker Like yeah, yeah, like, oh, thank you.
Speaker 2:Oh, yeah, yeah, for sure, yeah, okay, okay.
Speaker 1:You and I talked earlier and you're from Indonesia?
Speaker 2:Yeah, I was born there, oh my goodness, yeah, I was born there, oh my goodness, what's the?
Speaker 1:how long you been in Indonesia for? Oh like, how long did I live there? Yeah, until you dipped out.
Speaker 2:So I left when I was 14 and then I moved to Seattle, basically for college, okay, Ooh, she educated y'all.
Speaker 1:So 14,. I bet a lot has changed in Indonesia. Was there like a culture shock when you hit Hawaii from Indonesia?
Speaker 2:Hawaii, do you?
Speaker 1:see like big differences.
Speaker 2:Honestly, hawaii is a lot like Indonesia, so yeah, that's why it feels like home here too, hey okay, that's what's up. Everyone's really friendly and you know the weather.
Speaker 1:It's a lot like Indonesia Shut up, so it's like the humidity and sometimes you get your cold days and shit too.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, yeah, but Indonesia is a little more humid than here.
Speaker 1:Oh, I can't do that, then Fuck that yeah.
Speaker 2:No, I don't go out at all, oh really especially with our hair.
Speaker 1:Our hair will get frizzed the hell up. You feel me? Yeah, no ways. And then, um like, uh, I follow you and you know I seen your content. What got you into? You know that space like into content creating.
Speaker 2:Yeah, content creating.
Speaker 1:And then how did you blow up from there?
Speaker 2:oh, I don't know if I blow up yet, but girl you, you blow, you blown up.
Speaker 1:All right, I mean, it's not being so humble and modest.
Speaker 2:I honestly, it's just for fun. I just wanted to share my story and share, you know, like promote local businesses here too, because, yeah, I do enjoy like going out to eat there, like doing activities here and there, and then, at the same time, I want to share my stories because not a lot of people know what I do, because it's, you know, we're stuck in a lab most of the time, or like in a computer, and it feels like they're always asking me like, oh, what do you actually do like in the lab? Or what do you do as a phd student, blah blah.
Speaker 1:So I'm like, well, I'm just gonna share my story here yeah and then, yeah, I guess people want to tune in hey yeah, I love, I love how you explained that, because a lot of uh like people, they like the authenticity of, like genuine people living their everyday life. You know they're not trying to promote a drink or a club or whatever. It's just them doing everyday things and also it's a. It gives a sense of normalcy to uh. Is that, is that a word? Phd, is that a word?
Speaker 2:I don't't know, she don't even know, babe. Yeah, I don't have a PhD in English, sorry, oh stop.
Speaker 1:No, you said a PhD, right. What's the major?
Speaker 2:So I major in biology, wow. But my main research is on anti-aging Shut up For real.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's been a while, wow, okay. So do you believe these creams that are coming out? You know that the celebs are trying to promote and sell. Are they worth the buck?
Speaker 2:Like the creams, like the face creams, I guess yeah. Honestly, I'm not too sure because I know I deal with more of like the genetic side oh, okay like oh um, does exercise help you? Or like, does this specific gene help you age slower? But sometimes I feel like these creams are just so like well advertised that everyone is into it, but you don't know the exact ingredients in it, right? So, I don't know. Until I see the exact ingredients in it, I can't tell you.
Speaker 1:Oh, snap, okay, so is exercise good for the skin.
Speaker 2:It is, it's really good. So exercise and diet are the two main factors that can slow aging.
Speaker 1:It could slow aging. Girl, my knees feel like they're 80 years old and I don't know if it's because I'm in the military, I don't know if it's the way I'm eating, but, girl, I feel broken down. I'm sure you're doing great oh my god I'd be waking up with. I need Bengay Tiger Balm. Sometimes I need a Rubix. Oh god, I need all that stuff, girl um anti-aging uh okay, okay, okay, okay.
Speaker 2:So um sweat is sweat good for, like say, the skin I mean as long as you, um, I guess, take a shower after and moisturize after I think it should be okay because it does um. From sweating, you're also burning fats, right? Yeah yeah, so it is good, okay, okay, cool, cool, it's how you deal with it after okay, all right.
Speaker 1:so I'm to stick to skin because I have like some sort of a personal question. My kid gets bitten up a lot, right so, and it's funny because his sister and us we don't get as much bitten as he does. So what is he? Is it something that he's eating, or is it he's sweating, some sort of something else? Why is he getting bitten more than us? He would come up with six bites, us we'd come up with either one or none. What do you think it is?
Speaker 2:You mean with mosquitoes, right? No, not mosquitoes.
Speaker 1:Maybe in the home or something. Okay, yeah, maybe mosquitoes. Well, you know what? Skip the mosquitoes, let's just talk about, like at home Like we keep the house very clean, right, our dogs don't have fleas or ticks or whatever.
Speaker 2:Right, right, he just gets.
Speaker 1:You know like he'll find a bite here or there.
Speaker 2:Wash his bedding. Maybe it could be the blood too. Oh yeah, so it might not always be the skin. Uh-huh, I am not entirely sure.
Speaker 1:I know she's not a pathologist, yeah, but yeah, oh, so it could be, I don't want to give you like the wrong information. Well, damn it, girl Right, Say it with confidence and I'll believe whatever you say it might. Say it with confidence, and I'll believe whatever you say.
Speaker 2:It might be the blood too, because at least with mosquitoes. You know it's the blood type right, like if you're blood type O, then you might get bitten a lot more really so if I was an AB or whatever, then I wouldn't mosquitoes, don't? They could sense that yeah, I think they do no way okay.
Speaker 1:So I'm assuming that the dinosaurs, um, they were type o because they were getting the shit sucked out of them too. Could that be it? I?
Speaker 2:mean I have no idea, but I'm not an expert in this or anything but yeah she is oh, what made you get into um this type of field in bio? Well, honestly, it was my dad.
Speaker 1:Oh shit, Shout out to.
Speaker 2:Pops. So he has a PhD too, oh, okay. And then he's like oh, you know, typical Asian parents. He's like you got to have a PhD too, or you know, I'll never be proud of you.
Speaker 1:Well, not in a bad way, yeah, yeah, somewhere. In that sense, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2:But then, yeah, I actually do like it.
Speaker 1:Oh, really I do like science and teaching. So, yeah, I'm glad he actually pushed me to do all of this Girl that's good because, as of right now, this girl that's, that's good because I'm as of right now. I'm, um, I'm trying to expose my kids to like different, a lot of different things. I'm putting stuff on tv, I'm doing like little science shit that I'd be buying from target to see what the knack is, you know, like right you know like I'm trying to find a spark, you know, and with bio it's um, not a lot of people like could get into that stuff, but I'm glad that you know you found it.
Speaker 1:You're like, oh snap, I'm, I'm hitting the lab. Yeah, what am I gonna find today? This and the third.
Speaker 2:That's cool as hell I mean, it took me a while though I like to get into it. Yeah, I used to hate it so much, even in undergrad. I really wanted to escape bio my whole life. I'm like anything but bio yeah but I think because my dad kept pushing me, like in a good way, oh yeah hey, lavina, hey, keep on going and eventually I found something I liked, because in undergrad it was all like basic stuff, right, like all those ATP and mitochondria and all that.
Speaker 1:Oh, metamorphosis.
Speaker 2:Very like basic stuff. But then, after I found out that I do like stem cells and aging research and I think I only found out about that like four or five years ago- Really, oh snap, that's what's up.
Speaker 1:Girl, I started liking science and then this might like throw my age out there. When I started watching Bill Nye the Science Guy, you never heard of him. Oh, that shows your age, okay. Well, bill Nye the Science Guy, he was a TV show way back in the day and he would do science experiments for kids and he would make science super fun. So one episode that I remember is he was teaching how tornadoes happen. So he taped two bottles upside down and then he's like, oh, this is what happens, and then it'll go down like that and then in that, same episode.
Speaker 1:he had a glass of water, put two batteries on the side of it the positive and the positive and that created some type of cyclone in the water. I was like, oh shit, science is fucking cool, but I never. You know my brain, could you know? It just didn't withheld that.
Speaker 1:I mean, you still remember exactly how it works and all yeah but it's like it's the I guess it's the chemistry behind it on. You know why did these battery? You know why two batteries and not two cucumbers, right, or something? You know? Oh yeah, but oh man, um, so, uh, what's? What is your daily job? Like, like, do you have a regular nine-to-five or are you just a full-time student?
Speaker 2:I mean for me. So I actually had to switch lab because I'm more of like a do-it-your-own-way kind of person. So my boss is super nice. He's very supportive, but he's the type to not really care how I do things, as long as I get my work done.
Speaker 1:I love those types of bosses.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I used to have to stay from like 8 to 5 every day. But, since I'm working on like stem cell stuff, I would have to come in at 11 pm too, and I did not like that stuff.
Speaker 1:I would have to come in at 11 pm too, and I did not like that oh, um, pause, why 11 pm?
Speaker 2:and why not like the eight or five pm? It's like the hours. Like you have to feed these stem cells, so like, oh, let's say you're done at 5 pm and then you have to feed it every six hours, so then you have to come back at like 11 pm. That that's crazy.
Speaker 1:I didn't know that, so learning something new.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so I did not like that and yeah, so I had to switch lab and, yeah, I really like my boss now because I can do whatever I want. Basically, Girl.
Speaker 1:The last I'm going to say, excuse me, five to seven years of, you know, actual working. I've had bosses like that where, um, they give me a task, I execute and complete it, and they really don't care what I do. As long as you know I'm replying to the emails, I'm like all right, acknowledge, I'll knock this out. Give them the product. It's like all right, I got none for you. Knock this out. Give them the product. He's like all right, I got none for you.
Speaker 2:Okay, that's the best kind in my opinion. Oh my gosh. Yeah, you get to grow too from that you have to solve your own problems and all.
Speaker 1:Have you had bosses before? That was really uptight and in your ass.
Speaker 2:I mean kind of, yeah, I'm not going to go into details about it, but yeah, yeah, I mean he's, he's amazing, though he taught me a lot of things.
Speaker 1:I know we had to be there like basically the whole time yeah but he taught me a lot of things and that helped me transition to this new position now okay, so with you going to, I guess, to work in these labs, does that coincide with you going to school too, like, does that help you, I guess, get that phd yeah, yeah, so it's basically my thesis oh, okay, okay discover something new, then I can graduate.
Speaker 2:How?
Speaker 1:cool is that you're going to school and getting paid to go to school to come up with these results. That's pretty badass.
Speaker 2:I don't think a lot of institutions do that yeah, I mean, I think that's why UH is amazing. And I get to teach too, so I'm getting paid to do that too. I do to teach too, so I'm getting paid to do that too. And yeah, I do love teaching too.
Speaker 1:Girl, that's awesome, girl. Man, Let me ask you this You're in front of the camera a lot. You do a lot of I guess can I say modeling pictures.
Speaker 2:I mean kind of yeah, okay.
Speaker 1:As of right now, what's the worst woman fashion trend that's happening?
Speaker 2:Honestly, I haven't modeled in a while, so I'm not too sure.
Speaker 1:What's cringy to you then I know you scroll too and you see around.
Speaker 2:Right right.
Speaker 1:What makes you go? Oh honey, you know.
Speaker 2:I mean, I think I'm the type of person who's like you can do whatever you want if you have the confidence for it.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah, but I don't know, I don't know what's cringy right now. I'm not up to trend. You're not Really. Yeah, oh man, I'm not up to trend.
Speaker 1:You're not really.
Speaker 2:Yeah, oh man, I'm really old fashioned. That's why I dressed up like this.
Speaker 1:And yeah, I just like simple dresses and all Gosh on the island. One thing that is just it irks me is, I guess, when the shoes, when women wear shoes that don't match the outfit, so you know, when they're wearing, I guess, the platforms, right, like, yeah, when women are wearing the platforms and it just doesn't go with the outfit, I'm like, ooh, no one told you that. Hey, how about you just put on some slippers or something you know, or put on some nikes, yeah, but I think that's one, but I don't even know that's that's a fashion trend.
Speaker 2:Um, shoot, I'm just now, I'm just naming an ick honestly, you might be a little more aware of that than I am.
Speaker 1:No way Really you think so.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I don't know. Sometimes when I walk and see things my mind just.
Speaker 1:Oh, you're zoomed in, yeah.
Speaker 2:I'm just like oh, I didn't even notice.
Speaker 1:Really yeah.
Speaker 2:But I'll notice a good dress or a good outfit. Oh really, what's a notice? A good dress, or like a good outfit?
Speaker 1:Oh really, what's a good dress to you then?
Speaker 2:A good dress.
Speaker 1:Yeah, what's a good dress.
Speaker 2:I mean, I like simple stuff.
Speaker 1:Okay, so one zipper in the back or one zipper on the side.
Speaker 2:Oh, I love flower patterns. Flower patterns.
Speaker 1:Yes, huh, like a muumuu.
Speaker 2:Yeah, something like that, yeah you.
Speaker 1:You've worn those out before well for fashion shows. I've not on my own discretion, but I would wear like a short sundress okay, I could see that. I could see that. I could see that what was the weirdest thing you wore at a fashion show? Because I know I've. I've seen the met gala, I've seen and I've seen like, oh dude, that's pretty badass.
Speaker 1:But then I've seen wait, hold up, that's uh huh, like I had to like double triple take like you know what was um, and you don't even have to say the fashion show, but what was the one where, like, uh, you're kind of iffy about or like describe the dress, or something?
Speaker 2:I mean oh, you're gonna get me, oh yeah okay, don't describe the dress, but, um, let's see.
Speaker 1:Uh, how would you describe it then? Like without the colors or anything? What made it go?
Speaker 2:I think it's just not my style.
Speaker 1:It doesn't really suit me or anything um it might suit other people, but it's just not my style.
Speaker 2:It doesn't really suit me or anything. Um, it might suit other people but it's just not me. But you know, when you're in like fashion shows and all you gotta wear girl you rocked it, yeah, so I'm like yeah have you ever stumbled on the runway? Oh, um kind of I didn't like fall, but you had, you had a one yeah, yeah, but really yeah, but that was a really bad like runway in general, so I think everyone tripped oh, okay, okay.
Speaker 1:So it wasn't the dress, it wasn't you being clumsy, it was the floor it was the carpet.
Speaker 2:Yeah, oh it was carpet it was carpet, it was like a wood floor and then they just put a carpet on it and I swear everyone tripped, even like the best models trip. So I'm like I guess it's not just me.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah, right hey, as long as I'm not the only one right right oh man, um, on the island. Uh, what foods do you go for? Like, are you, uh, do you go find your local ind spots? Or are you really keen into the masubi, these fried noodles and all that?
Speaker 2:So I'm a big foodie, yeah.
Speaker 1:I don't know if you saw it, yeah.
Speaker 2:I wish they have Indonesian food here though, but they don't, so I usually just go for anything I can find. Oh, really. But I really love a good Japanese food.
Speaker 1:Japanese Mm-hmm. Okay, do you cook at home?
Speaker 2:I do cook at home Wow.
Speaker 1:Okay, Is it all off the top or are you getting recipes from?
Speaker 2:elsewhere. So I'll try and find recipes, but then make it my own style.
Speaker 1:Oh, you add a LaVena Zhang to it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1:Okay.
Speaker 2:I'm not I don't know, I'm just really bad at following rules and steps.
Speaker 1:I know as a scientist you kind of have to do it. I was going to say something but I was like, oh wait, hold up, wait a minute. But I like to add my own. Have to do it. I was spinning the scenes and I was like, oh wait, hold up, wait a minute.
Speaker 2:But I like to add my own flair to it.
Speaker 1:Okay, oh. So if Are you a really good cook I mean I don't know yeah, Enough to throw down in the kitchen on a Thanksgiving day or some shit.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, Like my friends enjoy it, but I can't, like you know, make a restaurant out of it. Oh hell, no, no way you gotta. Well, I'm not knocking you, I'm just saying you gotta Like oh no, chris, you got to have something that'll pop Like oh man, you know.
Speaker 1:Oh okay, just people out here want to know are you single taken? Just in the field I am taken.
Speaker 2:You are taken. Congratulations on that.
Speaker 1:It's hard to find a decent human being nowadays.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I totally agree, yeah.
Speaker 1:Was this an organic meeting or was it through the apps?
Speaker 2:uh, we actually met at church shut your ass.
Speaker 1:Really, you got yourself a church guy. Hey, was it like, how did it happen, if you don't mind me asking, how did it happen? Like did your hands touch when the offering was coming around and you y'all was putting the dollar at the same time, or y'all had to share communion bread? I mean, that would be that would have been sick, right like oh here, and he's like oh wait, let me feed it to you girl. Um, but yeah, how'd y'all meet? How did we meet actually?
Speaker 2:I think it was like a welcoming event, and then he just started talking to me. Yeah, no way at first I didn't like him, but no, like, oh yeah, like I. I think I was also at a time in my life where I just wanted to focus on me, yeah, so kind of came unexpectedly really so he kept on talking.
Speaker 1:You didn't like um was the? Was it him chasing you or being persistent that made you see him in a different way?
Speaker 2:um, I think we were friends first. I think that helped a lot yeah and he was really patient about it and I mean, it's not like he kept pursuing me. I think he was just there as my friend first. Yeah, so that that helped oh, yeah, I like that.
Speaker 1:How, uh, something from a friendship became something. I guess I said that, yeah, but yeah, no, that's, that's beautiful I, I like that um and how long y'all been together we've been together.
Speaker 2:Wait how long I'm telling your man I mean, I think it's almost two years now wow, y'all live together.
Speaker 1:He has his own spot. He has.
Speaker 2:He comes back and forth good is his toothbrush there?
Speaker 1:yeah, oh, basically he has his own. Basically y'all live together. I'm just kidding.
Speaker 2:I mean, my dog is not Super happy about it, but oh gosh, he gets jealous.
Speaker 1:But I bet, like when he comes over your dog's, like On your side, like Don't you even dare Sit next to her.
Speaker 2:Yeah, the first time he actually bit my boyfriend Shut up.
Speaker 1:Yeah, for real. And that didn't scare, that didn't scare your man away that way For real, and that didn't scare your man away, not in that way. He's just like shooing him away.
Speaker 2:Really he's like shoo, shoo, shoo and then bit yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1:You should have known better what kind of dog Big small Border Collie, medium size, medium size. Okay, I don't know what they are. Oh, okay, okay, okay, that's that's what's up, and then um, so your man's uh like, uh, is he still opening the doors for you? Is he still doing chivalrous acts for you?
Speaker 2:yeah, every now and then. Yeah, yeah, I would have to remind him sometimes, but hey, guy come on man.
Speaker 1:But uh, so okay, good guy. Um, oh god, okay now. I got questions now, since she told me you have men and everything, does he?
Speaker 2:cook for you too, oh, he's a really bad cook.
Speaker 1:So oh gosh rather not.
Speaker 2:I'm so sorry.
Speaker 1:I'd rather do the cooking okay, hey, attagirl, attagirl, um, uh, so your man um, does he go to? Does he go to school too? Is he in that science field as well?
Speaker 2:No way, he does more plant stuff, but yeah kind of Same school Same school.
Speaker 1:No way. So you guys see each other like every day.
Speaker 2:He's in a different campus, though, so my main campus is in the medical school. So yeah, I got insurance on this yeah, so, so yeah, I mean, I'm based in kakaago and he's based in manoa um, that's like kanye right oh not that far like closer to waikiki actually oh, okay, what's that school?
Speaker 1:do you know that school in Kaneohe where, never mind, I had an event there? Well, I did a podcast over there for someone else and I was like damn, this is a fucking drive. I was like oh, not too sure yeah, okay, redact, redact that um having a man and everything, um, and you having a following. Is he cool with, I guess, guys hitting you up on the dm or commenting on you know your pictures and everything, because I could only understand, you know people coming at you in that type of way.
Speaker 2:I mean I guess he knows that I'm really good at saying no, not in a bad way, but like. He knows that I can take care of myself. So, yeah, he trusts me with it oh, that's good, and he's more of like a quiet, low-key kind of guy yeah, so yeah, is it vice versa too?
Speaker 1:does he have a like a mass following, like you too, or?
Speaker 2:oh, he's a very private guy that's good, even better yeah, even when I like take him to a fence, he would rather just be in the corner, so yeah, girl, I'm like that too so I'm like okay holy crap.
Speaker 1:Um, when I'm like hosting an event, like like I'm not I'm not trying to be big-headed or anything, but if I'm headlining an event and I have to be there, I usually go up, do my piece and then I'm usually in the manager's room playing Xbox or something. Really.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:I don't want to drink or nothing, because I know I have to drive home. I'm not trying to get caught up. But I get somewhat anxious when I'm around trying to get caught up. But I get somewhat anxious when I'm around a lot of people in that type of environment, when they're drunk and stuff and inebriated. So I'm just like, oh, I don't want to be, like, if stuff goes down, I do not want to be there you know. So I'm like, oh yeah hey, thank you for coming out. I do a lot of yeah.
Speaker 2:So you're better at like a one-on-one conversation.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I don't know, man, like my wife tells me otherwise. She says like I like getting attention, but I really don't. You know, it's just, I guess I can like, especially being in the military, I could keep a conversation going. Or especially being in the military, I could keep a conversation going. Or if I have to be in front of people, then I have a lot of us, that's like my filler word, but I guess I can keep something going. But I really don't like being with a lot of people.
Speaker 2:But I do gravitate towards the bathroom a lot.
Speaker 1:If I'm at the bar I'm near the exit. I like being near the wall because it's like I know someone's not walking behind me. I guess it's like some type of phobia or whatever, I don't want someone coming up behind me stabbing me or putting me on a chokehold or whatnot Right. I think about those things. Yeah, I didn't expect that, expect that, but yeah, yeah, so I'm just like uh, but yeah, so I'm that type of person. Uh, when you're at events, are you like the social butterfly, are you talking with other people?
Speaker 2:I, so I prefer like a one-on-one. I I would come up to people and all, but I would prefer like a smaller setting sometimes yeah yeah, because I'm very soft-spoken too, so I can't scream and shout and like yeah, your voice won't project, yeah but yeah so intimate settings. You're, you're good I think I'm better at that. I don't know what people yeah.
Speaker 1:How about, like when you're in front? I saw that you were on a podium. You sent me that video. How many people was there when you were presenting things? Or presenting that topic.
Speaker 2:So it really depends. I don't remember which video I sent you, but I know it was several. I just like sent you a bunch. Yeah, yeah, you did yeah um, normally it'll be like at least 30, so you're good with you.
Speaker 1:You're good in front of a crowd like public speaking.
Speaker 2:I think I grew up watching my dad teach yeah and um, I think I just took notes and learned from it on how he, like you know, interacts with the audience and all that.
Speaker 1:But yeah, so going to school, did you uh take what's it called public speaking classes as well?
Speaker 2:no, I didn't actually oh really just drew me in there, but yeah, oh snap.
Speaker 1:And then in your field you did some psychology. You know you had to take some psychology classes too, for bio or no no, I didn't actually oh but I love psychology.
Speaker 2:I've always wanted to do psychology actually oh really yeah, but why didn't you?
Speaker 1:asian parents, oh god oh lord, uh, in your house are you? Is people allowed to wear their Crocs in there? Crocs or shoes, they're really respectable and they take off.
Speaker 2:Yeah, they kind of know what to do already. So yeah, they saw all my shoes like outside.
Speaker 1:So, I think they should know, right, oh girl, let me ask you, Let me ask you Do you have home slippers for your guests? So yeah, I think they should know, right? Oh, girl, let me ask you, let me ask you do you, um, do you have home slippers for your guests?
Speaker 2:no, I don't actually, which I probably should have girl.
Speaker 1:I was thinking I was thinking of like legitimately buying home slippers for my guests, like when they that's really smart.
Speaker 2:Yeah, one of my friend actually does that she has yeah, right, right she has like 10 house slippers for her guests and makes us feel more at home when we come over. Girl right, that's smart.
Speaker 1:I was thinking that because um I was on amazon and I saw it's um, this little box thingy.
Speaker 1:It looks like a shoe box, but people will put their foot in it and it would automatically saran wrap their feet. Oh yeah, it was pretty cool. So, like they would go, they'll put their feet in and then it was saran wrap, put other foot in saran wrap and then they would. They look like scrub moccasins. I don't know if you've ever seen those before. You know, like when you're in some type of like operating room and then they have the boonies over.
Speaker 2:It looks like that. Ooh, I don't know if that's comfortable, but no, but it's just man.
Speaker 1:They're just walking around socks but like things, covering their socks, oh okay, okay. I mean covering their socks, oh okay, okay. I mean I know it's not comfortable, I mean what if you have, like, stuff on your floor but it I guess you're just not picking up the dirt if you have wooden floors or whatnot. But I thought it was pretty cool and I was like, oh oh shit, I'm finna, get uh slippers for hot damn my place.
Speaker 2:Yeah, no, that's smart.
Speaker 1:I should consider buying some oh girl, if you ever do, just like you know what I was, what I was on this podcast, and that's where I get it from Kudos to me.
Speaker 2:True, hey, oh yeah High five.
Speaker 1:All right, damn, I lost that question. Do you know your love language?
Speaker 2:My love language.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:It's definitely quality time, quality time Okay.
Speaker 1:So let me ask you this then with quality time, have you ever changed your love language Like? Did quality time become like? You know what? I just don't like quality time anymore. I'm more of a words of affirmation type of person. Has that ever changed like throughout your ex-amunia years on earth?
Speaker 2:I think my main one has always been like quality time. Really Maybe like the second and third might change every now and then, but I've always liked quality time, just because I'm always super busy and I know like if I'm working and all you know, people got to prioritize stuff. So, yeah, quality time has always been my main one.
Speaker 1:Really, ooh, oh. Mine was um, uh.
Speaker 1:It was quality time, but then, like when life was lifing right, words of affirmation became my top yeah, like change neither did I, neither did I, until my therapist said I go to therapy, you know, I'm saying um he, he said that, uh, it's okay for stuff like that to change, because it used to be um gift giving. Right, I love, I liked getting gifts, but it's, how do I say, how do I put it without sounding like a snob? Okay, I like gifts too. Yeah, right, like, hey, man, I bought you this Big. Mac too, Without even asking or hey.
Speaker 1:I got you this headband because I knew you liked the color orange. I'm like, oh shit, that's what's up, you know. But it was that. And then it went from quality time because it's like I was kind of needy and shit. And then it became words of affirmation because I'm out a lot and the things that I do at home usually, like, my wife is either at work or she's asleep, the babies are asleep and it's like I do things like in the background or whatever.
Speaker 1:So when, when they, when they say thank you or appreciate it, I'm like, oh yeah, I bet you know I feel good. It's like I don't know, I get horny off that shit. So I'm just like, oh yeah, yeah, that's great I my boyfriend's um.
Speaker 2:Love language is actually also words of affirmation right but I'm terrible at it. Why I, I think, just growing up in an asian household, yeah, like I don't get that a lot right like oh no, this is true.
Speaker 2:I grew up, yeah, okay my parents never really say like, oh, I'm proud of you, or like you're doing great. They're always like, oh, you gotta yeah, you gotta do better. This is what you're, what you need to need to improve on, and I think that's what I'm used to. So I'm like it all started at home when you were a young laddie.
Speaker 1:Oh my God, that's crazy. Tell me how talks. I had this conversation the other day. How toxic you know our Asian parents were. My dad was pretty toxic. He gas lit the fuck out of everyone. Toxic, you know our asian parents were.
Speaker 2:My dad was pretty toxic, I'm not. He uh, he gaslit the fuck out of everyone.
Speaker 1:You know, oh no, I'm sorry, yeah, but like, um, growing up, um, mental health wasn't ever a big thing, it was more of a hey, push the fuck on, you know. So, um, as an Asian parent, well shit, I'm a parent now, I'm like that in a way, but I came down several levels. So you growing up, I mean, how do you see that?
Speaker 2:as I mean, well, they're a lot better now because I think I know how to handle myself and all that. But I guess growing up I was always pushed to be the best, which in a way it's good yeah, definitely good, I did achieve a lot of things, um, but also, at the same time, I'm always.
Speaker 2:It made me overthink a lot, and oh and it made me want, to like improve myself a lot, which I guess it's also a good thing yeah and I think I'm just so used to it because that's how all my friends were really but then when I came here, when I met, like you know, my non-asian friends, I guess they're like are you sure you're okay? They'll always ask me that question and I'm like, yeah, it's just how I grew up, which is fine, and it made me who I am now yeah, yeah, oh.
Speaker 1:Growing up in the asian household, uh, from a wee little to an adult, you have like really thick skin that's true, you know, because my aunts and uncles, they would say a lot of mean things and then they would bang on you for crying. Banging as in like they would make fun of you for crying or like shedding a tear. So now it's like, oh okay, all right, you say this about me, okay, whatever.
Speaker 2:It just like goes away yeah.
Speaker 1:Yeah, oh my God, and it just goes away. Yeah, yeah, oh my God. And it's sad now because there's a lot of soft-ass parents I don't know if you see it as well A lot of coddling, a lot of enabling and stuff. I see that and I'm just like, oh my God, these kids are soft and I'm trying to teach my kids how to be a little bit you know, a little bit tough, Like you don't yeah, like I like to see things unfold.
Speaker 1:You know like there's like a like if my young ones right brother, sister, if they get in a fight, I'm just trying to see what would happen before they tell on me, you know, like I like to tell them like, figure it out With y'all, try to teach them skills, right? Yeah, that's crazy. Do you see parents like that, like I guess, like at church or when you're walking around, happen to look Until you're right, because I know you're always zoned in, like, do you see?
Speaker 2:that stuff like I mean, yeah, kind of, and I'll just like. I actually um, talked to my boyfriend about it and I'm just like, oh, that's interesting, my parents would never let me do that, or like stuff like that, right, yeah oh, like the set.
Speaker 1:I'm not trying to bash on anyone's kids or whatever, especially the hawaiian kids, but yeah, oh, I'm definitely gonna get canceled. I don't give a fuck, but I've been doing this all the whole time. I haven't got canceled yet. They're not gonna work. But no, these kids, they're badass kids there's some badass ones out there.
Speaker 2:I feel like they need some discipline and I mean, you don't have to be super harsh yeah, but like they need some you know discipline and they need. Some you know discipline and they need to be able to survive in this world too, right?
Speaker 1:oh cause not everything is gonna be given to them? Right you feel me Lavinia. How would you discipline a kid?
Speaker 2:oh, I don't know yet. Like do you have?
Speaker 1:are. Are you the only child? Yes, I'm the only child, okay, see, oh, fuck do you have nephews and nieces um, I have like cousins, cousins yeah, are you like the nice cousin or are you the more of a reserved cousin?
Speaker 2:um, honestly, I'm kind of like you can do your own thing no, girl, no, let me tell you.
Speaker 1:Let me tell you, I was um, I'm in this cousin group chat and since I'm on hawaii, like I'm, the same way too. It's like, hey, whatever happens on the mainland, hey, thank you for leaving me the fuck out of it, because I cannot do, I can't I can't help I can't provide because I'm, you know, I'm all the way out here. So yeah, thank you. You know like I love that. Yeah, it's just like oh yeah, do your own thing, go ahead. You know that's your life yeah.
Speaker 2:I think over the years I learned to just like you know let people do their own thing, because I used to care so much. But you know, in anything, just leave me out of it oh yeah, why did it backfire on you?
Speaker 1:is it be? Is it? Did it become a? He said.
Speaker 2:She said yeah, kind of, and also, like I think I used to care too much, uh-huh yeah oh, you wanted to like the family to be strong and like, yeah, okay.
Speaker 1:And. And now you're just like, hey, man, solve your own problems. Yeah, I got my life to do. Right, right oh man, you've been on Hawaii for X amount of years now. Any word or chances of you dipping the hell out? Or would you want to raise your family here?
Speaker 2:I mean, I really want to like stay here.
Speaker 1:Hey, that's what's up.
Speaker 2:I like it out here too, yeah, but we'll see where my career takes me too, because I know there's not too much biotech stuff here.
Speaker 1:So yeah, we'll see girl, if you, um, if you ever go to like europe or whatever and you know, get the inside scoop on like, oh man, there's this bio thing that's happening. Oh yeah, definitely hit me up, all right, cause I'm into, I love that shit. You know like I'm like.
Speaker 1:I deep dive real quick into the. Um, I don't want to say Illuminati bullshit, but like the, what is it called? The? I guess you know, I don't know the word. It's when, like you know what I don't know, fuck it, I know what you mean, but yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Yeah, wow, I like that shit. Do you watch the Last of Us on HBO? Yeah, yeah, I do. Can shit like that really happen? Since you're in bio, I mean, could it or is it a chance?
Speaker 2:I don't think so. I mean, even if it happened, I think people are really good at containing it.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Nowadays. So yeah, I think we should be fine, oh, okay.
Speaker 1:I hope Right. Yeah, oh, could. What did you think, since you know you're like in science. What did you think when the coronavirus came out? What was your thinking when that was coming, because you was into that.
Speaker 2:Right right.
Speaker 1:What was going through your mind and brain Did you ever thought of? Maybe I could solve this? Or how did it start? Or what kind of strands or cells make like came up to this to make it so where we have to, like, stay you know X amount of feet away, mm-hmm.
Speaker 2:I think it's just like the fires. Right, it's the same with flu, like if you're, if you're close to someone who has a flu, then you might get the flu too. Yeah, um, but yeah, I think we were too slow in like containing it and people didn't think it was serious at that time. Yeah, so I guess that's why it spread rapidly but yeah, as long as you like, contain it fast, because like in australia they they contained it really fast so they didn't have too much cases.
Speaker 1:Yeah, oh, educate me on australia. Real quick quack real quick like oh I burped oh excuse, oh yeah, that was orange juice. Um, excuse me and I am sorry, you're good, you're good. Um, yeah, how did they contain it, like when they found out? How did they contain that real quick? Because I, uh, I guess social media never, well, I guess on my timeline never covered australia like that.
Speaker 2:So I'm not entirely sure a hundred percent, but it's just from because I I do some research in australia. I'm actually leaving in two weeks to Australia. Hey, good day mate. Yeah, but from what they told me, so I'm not entirely sure how true this is.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's not verbatim.
Speaker 2:Y'all All right, but they just did a lot of travel ban and they had to, and people were really good at staying away from each other, they wear masks when they go out and yeah, there's just a lot of rules that were able to help contain it a lot better oh okay, interesting.
Speaker 1:Um, before we dip out, I want to ask you this you grew up in indones, indonesia, for 14 years. What are the paranormal shit in Indonesia?
Speaker 2:Paranormal.
Speaker 1:Paranormal, like hauntings and stuff. What's the big one? Is there a temple or a cemetery that you're not supposed to go to because you heard of these stories? What's a folklore? An Indonesian folklore, where, oh shit, I better fucking not put my feet over the over the bed, otherwise this indonesian ghost is gonna like rip out my toes or sometimes that's actually an interesting question yeah, well, I'm into that shit too. Goddamn paranormal hit me up, you know I would say so, like I.
Speaker 2:I know I grew up in ind, indonesia, and all but my dad's very Chinese, oh, okay. So we have a lot more like Chinese traditions, okay so. Chinese phenomenon I guess more like beliefs.
Speaker 1:Oh, yeah, give me one, give me one.
Speaker 2:What you shouldn't do or what you shouldn't do, so like in Chinese New Year, you know you're not supposed to clean up your house or like clean things, because you're sweeping away your luck or your wealth, stuff like that.
Speaker 1:Shut the fuck up. I've never heard that before. So on Chinese New Year, you don't clean your house.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you don't clean your house, you don't wash your hair because you're throwing away like the luck On Chinese New Year.
Speaker 1:Yeah, Just that specific day, or is it? Just that specific day, okay, so you don't clean your house, you don't take a shower oh, you don't wash your hair.
Speaker 2:Yeah, but you can take a shower. Yeah, you can take a shower. Well, you can yeah.
Speaker 1:I hope so. Yeah, I think you can't you do um, what else?
Speaker 2:oh, you have to wear a new shirt on chinese new year yeah, and you can't wear black and white, I think because that's the color of that yeah, shut up yeah, on just during chinese new year that day.
Speaker 1:Damn what if your favorite colors are black and white?
Speaker 2:then you're just assed out just that day you can wear red wear red, wear yellow, wear something but not black and white.
Speaker 1:Oh damn, that's crazy. What else? What else happens on chinese new year that you're not or you can do?
Speaker 2:oh, there might be too many honestly off the top of your head. Those are the three that I like remembered the most really do you follow?
Speaker 1:do you follow that? I kind of do, yeah, you kind of yeah, you say kind of like you're unsure, like I mean, was there a year that you like?
Speaker 2:oh, I wore black yeah, yeah, I think I did that.
Speaker 1:Oh, for real.
Speaker 2:Did you change right away, or was it? I mean, I'm like, oh well, I'm out already, so like yeah, oh, fuck it.
Speaker 1:Yeah, oh, okay, I have a lot of. I don't have a lot of Chinese friends, but I do have, like a lot of Vietnamese, vietnamese friends and I guess they similar too, yeah, but I've. I've seen them wear black and white. You know, I went to school with them, so I've seen them in the shower. I saw them put shampoo when they shit, you know. So when you said that, I was like hold up and then I was trying to remember things like wait, wait hold up.
Speaker 1:I remember, you know, at gym man, my homeboy steven, I saw him sharing his hair. I wasn't trying to be a perv, but I do remember him putting some stuff in his shit, you know. But oh, that's crazy, and um, the whole sweeping thing, um, just that day you just don't clean your house like can you vacuum, or I I just don't just like any cleaning.
Speaker 2:yeah, dishes, can you vacuum, or I think it's just like any cleaning, yeah.
Speaker 1:Dishes. Can you wash dishes? That's some sort of cleaning.
Speaker 2:I don't know. Actually, I think I still did my dishes.
Speaker 1:Okay, oh, that's wild. Yeah, oh girl, but Lovina, that shit was fun yeah.
Speaker 2:Thank you again.
Speaker 1:Girl? No, I appreciate you. Thank you for coming on. Where can these people find you at? Or do you have any like shout outs or anything before we dip?
Speaker 2:yeah, well, my instagram is at lavina, underscore 28, if you want to find me there and see me share my stories man, hell yeah, follow her.
Speaker 1:Her stories are interesting as hell. No lie, I like scrolling your shit because I'm just like oh hmm, oh, I become a death scroller. You know like I just go like oh, whoa cool, um, before we dip out 28, where is that?
Speaker 2:like a jersey number or it's my birth date, yeah yeah, typical lavina no, I I couldn't, because my name is way too long to just oh, put it out there yeah, and I'm not super creative and like making a fun name, so yeah, is lavina an american name, or? So my parents actually name it from love. Oh yeah, oh good job, parents.
Speaker 1:yeah, oh, I thought it was like a not to disrespect, but I thought it was like an american name that I guess your parents made up or you made up, because your your original name was, I guess. On on, uh, announcement you can't, I guess, unannouncement you can't enunciate, or what's that word. Where you can't, you can't pronounce it Pronounce. Yeah, it's one of them days, folks, it's one of them days. But yeah, do you have like an OG Indonesian name? Or it's been Lavina.
Speaker 2:No, it's always been Lavina.
Speaker 1:Okay, yeah, my last name though it's very lavina.
Speaker 2:No, it's always been lavina. Okay, yeah, my last name, though it's very indonesian. Oh really yeah oh, okay that's what's up.
Speaker 1:I have a lot of. Yeah, I have a vietnamese friend like his name's, steve, but his real name is like tuan duk chu or whatever and I'm just like yeah, yeah, okay, all right, dog, I'll call you by that name. You just told me, you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 2:Shit, that was fun.
Speaker 1:Hey, shout out to KO Studios. Thank you for the lovely home, rafi. Bye. Thank you for the lovely beats man. I'm Chris.
Speaker 2:I'm Lavina. Okay, we'll do that in take two yes. I'm like, oh wait.
Speaker 1:Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. I'm Chris.
Speaker 2:I'm Lavinia.
Speaker 1:Ayy, there you go and we out this bitch, peace.
