The REALationship Method
The REALationship Method is a comedic podcast about dating, relationships, and advice, blending tips with plenty of tangents. With stories and experiences shared by the cast and guests, it offers cautionary tales to help you avoid making the same mistakes. So sit back, relax, and maybe learn a thing or ten!
The REALationship Method
Failed Relationships, Triggering Self-Awareness, and Being On a Reality Show with Maelene
What if your failed relationships were actually preparing you for your greatest transformation?
Maelene joins Chris on The Realationship Method podcast to share her powerful journey through three defining relationships that ultimately led to her personal awakening. Growing up in a traditional Filipino household where "I love you" was rarely spoken, Maelene found herself repeating toxic patterns until one heartbreak finally forced her to confront her deepest wounds.
The conversation takes an illuminating turn when comparing healing processes between men and women - while Maelene needed three major relationships to recognize her patterns, she observes that men often require just one significant relationship to trigger self-awareness. This gender difference in processing emotional experiences raises fascinating questions about how we navigate heartbreak and growth.
You'll discover the stark contrasts between dating cultures in Hawaii versus mainland America, where the same dating behaviors are interpreted completely differently depending on location. Maelene doesn't hold back when describing how Hawaii's small community environment creates unique challenges for singles trying to find authentic connections without being labeled.
Perhaps most compelling is Maelene's candid discussion of masculine and feminine energy in relationships. She articulates how security provided by one partner creates space for nurturing from the other - not in outdated gender roles, but in a dance of complementary strengths that honors both individuals. As she puts it, "When someone provides emotional, mental, and physical security, their partner naturally wants to make them feel like royalty."
Whether you're healing from heartbreak, trying to understand your own relationship patterns, or simply curious about how our childhoods shape our adult connections, this episode offers wisdom from someone who's done the difficult work of breaking generational cycles to find genuine peace.
Follow Maelene on Instagram @_ilovemaelene_ and let us know what resonated most with you from this conversation.
• Growing up in a traditional Filipino household where expressing emotions wasn't common created patterns in adult relationships
• Taking time to process emotions instead of reacting immediately became crucial for healthy communication
• Breaking the cycle required recognizing how childhood experiences shaped relationship choices
• Dating culture differs dramatically between Hawaii and mainland US, with Hawaii being more judgmental of dating multiple people
• Three major relationships were needed before Maelene could identify her patterns and make meaningful changes
• Understanding masculine and feminine energy creates balance in relationships when both partners feel secure
• Words without actions mean little - actions speak volumes about how someone truly feels
• Setting boundaries and learning to say no transformed from people-pleasing to self-respect
• Loyalty is non-negotiable - once broken, trust is nearly impossible to rebuild
boom, boom, okay, cool, ready. Five, four, three, two, one. Welcome back to another episode of the relationship method podcast. It's your boy, chris. Today I got a special guest. You've probably seen her on tubi 96 hours or less. We're gonna talk about that 96. What happens in that month, okay, and um, what you as an entrepreneur too? Yes, yes, yes, and she is celebrating a birthday weekend for her little one, so she's a mama bear man. Hell yeah, shout out to us parents and shit. Oh fuck, let me change the batteries real quick.
Speaker 2:Okay, okay, okay, damn. That was a good start too.
Speaker 1:Cool, and we're back. My battery on my camera just died and we're back. My battery on my camera just died and we're recording straight. Cool, cool, cool. All right To continue. I got Maylene on this bitch. Yay, Maylene, how are you today?
Speaker 2:I'm doing well. Thank you, You're very welcome.
Speaker 1:Was it hard to find this place?
Speaker 2:Honestly, like I'm familiar with this spot because of Thelma's downstairs.
Speaker 1:Ooh, yeah, so bomb, so fire.
Speaker 2:But I did not know. There was an upstairs, uh-huh, I didn't know.
Speaker 1:Oh, you didn't, no, so now you know. I do. Cool, and so what brought you out to? You're originally from Maui. Are you living there right now or are you residing somewhere else?
Speaker 2:I actually live in Vegas.
Speaker 1:Oh, I actually live in Vegas, ooh 702.
Speaker 2:Yes, I used to live in Vegas too. Yeah, I mean I love it. It's just like a mixture of calmness and partiness. But I'm not a partier, I just love to eat.
Speaker 1:You know, like the food there is, just like it's just off the hook. Okay, I used to live on North Decatur.
Speaker 2:Oh.
Speaker 1:Yeah, would we be neighbors if I was still living out there. No no, I'm in Green Valley. Green Valley. Is that like the beginning of?
Speaker 2:Henderson.
Speaker 1:Got you, got you. So you live in Vegas.
Speaker 2:What are?
Speaker 1:you doing out here.
Speaker 2:So I commute back and forth between Maui and Vegas. I have my business in Maui, but I'm on Oahu because it's my son's birthday. Happy birthday, joseph.
Speaker 1:Happy birthday.
Speaker 2:So we're here to celebrate his birthday, spend some time with him and, you know, make some memories. Oh, that's good.
Speaker 1:Oh, wow. Well, thank you for coming from Vegas to here, but you know, I was just like a little side piece, like side travel, so I do appreciate you. Thank you so much and then. So next question is um, how did I get the yes from maylene to come on?
Speaker 2:you know this little pod um well, I was like looking at your instagram oh, thank you so much and I was just like looking at what you talk about and, honestly, like I am such an opinionated person and when you ask me about like relationship stuff, like ha me, please ask me.
Speaker 1:I'm so down like oh cool, and then getting on that ass yes, yes oh, lord, lord. Well, uh, my week was, uh, been pretty good. I had a birthday um, it's been a minute since I came on so, um, I took a trip out to Cali my oldest one graduated college. You and I was chopping up with that and I hosted, like, some Bay Area events out there, which was pretty freaking cool because it was my very first time doing it, right. I was like, oh my gosh, this is what happens, right.
Speaker 1:So, you know, long story short, I didn't get to drink, you know, because you know I was trying to be in the moment, right drink, you know because you know I was trying to be in the moment, right, so I was just chilling, you know, just chilling in the back like drinking water saying it was something else yeah, I did a lot of that shit experience, you know, oh, hell yeah and, um, I don't know.
Speaker 1:I should be talking about this, but I am. Uh, I found out one of my relatives had a love child that he was trying to hide from you know my family. What is a love child? You know what I don't from you know my family, what is a love child? You know what I don't know, maybe. So you know he didn't have a love child, but he does have a legit baby mama that he was trying to hide from the fam.
Speaker 2:Oh, I see, Is that like a one night hookup or something?
Speaker 1:No, so actually, they knew each other and, you know, she found out that, uh, she was pregnant, told a family member and he was like, no, I don't want nothing to do with it. So now she's, um, she's raising the child, she has a husband, by the way, and uh, it's crazy because we found out, you know, while me and my sister, my sister, she's living in Alabama. She used to live in Alabama.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I'm Alabama.
Speaker 1:Right Out in the boonies. So, yeah, we just finally met. She doesn't want the little girl to grow up not knowing that the other side of the family didn't want her, so that's why she was so inviting to the baby mama on meeting us. Wow. Yeah, Right. So I was like, oh, I guess ghosting several people in my fam because of this news, because we know his situation.
Speaker 2:That's very interesting.
Speaker 1:It is right.
Speaker 2:Very immature.
Speaker 1:Is it?
Speaker 2:I don't understand.
Speaker 1:Cool.
Speaker 2:That's good Okay.
Speaker 1:Because a lot of people say that and you know like he doesn't want anything to do with it saying that and you know like he doesn't want anything to do with it. Um, I talked to the person and I was just like yo, regardless, if you don't want the person around us, um, it's unfair to that person, or like to the little one, not knowing like we didn't care about her, like we didn't want her to grow up, saying, oh yeah, that side just fucking sucks yeah, no fairness, that's just ugh, it's very childish.
Speaker 1:I can't yeah, and then you know yeah, it was just so. The last two days of my vacation out there in cali was just all that and I was like man, I really didn't come out here for that I know, oh my god and like jerry, jerry oh don't even, oh, don't even get me going.
Speaker 1:But no, it was just. It was crazy knowing that, because I didn't know anything about it coming out. And then when it all like transpired like a lot, I was like, oh, what he has? He had a kid. Okay, I, you know, I had a kid, like at 22, so I didn't know what I was doing. But I I held my own, you know, and like I thought I was a good role model by sticking to my seed at that time, because I was a single parent too, right right.
Speaker 1:And ah, man, it was just it didn't. I guess leading by example didn't work with this one, you know. Sure, that's, sad yeah. Are you, let's say, when you lead? Do you lead by example, or are you like one of those you got to do it this way? Like are you verbally about it?
Speaker 2:I would like to say I lead by example, but I'm not perfect.
Speaker 1:Okay.
Speaker 2:Because sometimes I'll like catch myself and I'm like down, you know, like shoots I can't think of an example right now, but there's just times where I don't want to say I'm a hypocrite because not no, I'm not a hypocrite, but there's times that I fall short. Okay. You know what I mean. I'm human. There's times when I catch myself, you know and I apologize. I'll be like you're right, like I was wrong, like I'm human.
Speaker 1:So let me ask you when you're wrong, right and this is going to come to communication when you're wrong, did past you? Were you like a walking red flag or did you really admit? It's like, know what I'm wrong, I'm gonna step back and, you know, do you accept my apology or whatever opposed to like now, as you know, now, like you mature right, your, your brain frame is there now, like so, back in the day, were you like no man, I'm not wrong.
Speaker 2:Back in the day I was such a firecracker, it was crazy yeah I'd be like fuck that. No, you're fucking wrong. Get the fuck out of my face knowing that you're wrong yeah, you know the younger me, but like the the me now, like the older, I kind of just like, especially when I'm angry, I'll sit in my emotions.
Speaker 2:I'm like I can't talk to you right now that's good, I'm like because I will at least say something out my mouth and I will regret it, I will hurt you, I'll slice and dice you with things that are in my thoughts. Like I need you to just give me like some time. And then, like it doesn't take me much time, typically I just need like a few hours, kind of to just like regress and just, you know, breathe it in and kind of just let it out, and then I kind of think about it. I'm like you know, I'm sorry, like you know it was my fault, this and this and this and that, and you know I just need time, because if you don't give me time I would literally just be like that dumb bitch with the fucking fucked up shit coming out of my mouth is that, miss maylene?
Speaker 1:is that a tourist trait or is it a I want?
Speaker 2:to see I. I honestly want to say like, as a younger tourist, I was fucking crazy so so your astrology lined up on how you acted. For sure. Well, and then I figured out I'm a Taurus, leo Taurus, so I just have, like this, strong. You know what I mean? I'm a bull and a lion, so like.
Speaker 1:Explain that You're a Taurus Leo. Taurus Is that like the moon rising type shit.
Speaker 2:So like in astrology, it's like my son, son. I'm born into like a taurus okay and then my moon is a leo and my rising is a taurus.
Speaker 2:So they say, like the moon is your emotions okay, yeah so, like my emotions are like ran like a leo, and then the rising is how people portray you, which is I am a very strong, I'm a very like strong taurus. So you really would just be like fuck, you're just a taurus, you know what I mean? Yeah, so, but also, with that being said, like I'm so um, I don't want to say that you can't move me, but I'm like, very like consistent and stable, like for you to fucking jog my day, you really need to be in my schedule because I'm very like oh yeah, I need shit stick like it needs to stick it needs to be in my day.
Speaker 2:You really need to be in my schedule because I'm very like oh yeah, I need shit stick, like it needs to stick, it needs to be in my schedule, like you need to. Like. I don't like when you know how some people are just like.
Speaker 1:How do I say it like sporadic uh-huh I can't oh, you can't do that it, it messes with me oh well. So speaking about being on schedule, let me tell you about what happened with me today. Her ass was late to this motherfucking thing. Talk about schedule.
Speaker 2:I was hella late. Oh my god, oh my god, I totally forgot.
Speaker 1:I thought that shit was funny. I'm the same way too, like clockwork. In the mornings I'm up at 1.32 o'clock.
Speaker 1:Once I get up, it's I walk the dog right if the walk, if the dog doesn't get that walk, it's gonna pee somewhere. You feel me? So I do that. And then I go into, like my own, to my uh, my me time mode, which is, I don't know, gym, basketball, whatever, and this is all happening before you know, like the family members wake up, you know, and it's like this is my me time, because so I'm not, I'm, I'm in nobody's schedule, right, so I'm like that too. And then I guess, just like you, when something is like out of place, when you already had it set.
Speaker 1:Yeah, my day is just like yes and it sucks, because this stuff could have happened. This stuff happened. Like like say 4 am right and you're still thinking about it. Yeah, at like 6 pm and you're like dang, Are you like that too?
Speaker 2:See, because I'm exactly like that Okay okay. For example, if I start my day I'm like, okay, I'm going to get up, I'm going to go to the gym, I'm going to go grocery shopping can you, can you do this at this time? I'm like absolutely not. Yeah, it's, it doesn't align. Like the old me, the people pleaser, would be like, okay, that's fine. The new me is like no, no, not at all, I can't so when did this new me?
Speaker 1:like it happened?
Speaker 2:because you said you're, you were a people pleaser, and now you're just oh man, no man, it's all about me now it's like it's me years yeah I want to say like it's been like the last three to four years, I've like learned my weaknesses and my strengths and kind of like not to be selfish, but I'm selfish in the ways that allows me to show that I care about me. That's good, yeah, because sometimes we always fall short of ourselves because we always want to give, give, give, give. Yeah.
Speaker 2:You know, but sometimes there's times where you have to be like no, and I've learned to say no a lot.
Speaker 1:Was it hard.
Speaker 2:For sure.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah, especially like, for example, like I got a whole day planned and I got a girlfriend that got like man issues right and she wants to go drink, but in my head, my whole day consisted of like doing the gym and being healthy, and like doing things for work and like doing things that I need to get done. When she's like, please, I need you, like can we go out, and I'm like I can't.
Speaker 1:When you're helping people out like that in the back of your head.
Speaker 2:You have this dude.
Speaker 3:Figure it out, because I've done it as well not necessarily.
Speaker 2:No, okay, mine's is like I will definitely comfort them and like give them my advice, yeah, but I'll also reschedule a time with them that we can do it so that I can fit it into my day, because you're not, you know, I mean you're not on my schedule today, so I can't, I can't function without you on my schedule.
Speaker 1:I don't know how to explain it oh, okay okay, this might be like a little bit off wall. Um, do you have a therapist? No, oh, I do so. So what? What you're saying is like, huh, this is what, like my therapist, be you know. Like, be telling me, you know, be me, when you get mad, you take a time out. Right, I take a time out too, and I just want to be left the fuck alone. Like. I don't want like, let me put in my headphones, Let me just cancel everything out and then just reevaluate.
Speaker 2:Right.
Speaker 1:And then my therapist was telling me, because I have, you know, ptsd from the military, was telling me because, um, I have, you know, ptsd from the military. I also have, uh, what's it called? I have depression and adhd. I'm finally diagnosed with that and I'm bipolar type two. I ain't that crazy, um. But he said like, for so long I knew my mechanisms and I knew how to uh, let's say, counter, or I knew how to deal with it without therapy right so I think you're not going to a therapist and then you being the way you are now, you've been like this, but you just knew how to cope with it.
Speaker 1:You like, you had your own ways of like coping things, which I applaud you for that, because not too many people people will crash the fuck out, you know. And then for you to be like yo, give me the fuck a minute, let me just, and then I'll be back, you know, so a lot of people can't do that, they just you feel me. So I guess, younger you, younger you needed that therapist for sure, older you now gradually um. What's it called? Matured, yes, throughout the years, but I want to say.
Speaker 2:There were a lot of things that I've endured in my relationships that had made me dig deep and really reevaluate myself and understand what these patterns were okay, so like I gave myself therapy, you know, I mean I distanced myself, I like tried to figure out what my triggers were, where it was stemmed from, which a lot of it stemmed from my childhood, which is so crazy, so crazy is it the um, the childhood, and we don't have to dig deep.
Speaker 1:But was it the typical filipino um household like do this, do that? You don't have an opinion. What is mental health like? Is? Was it like that I'm?
Speaker 2:sure k, I love my parents. My parents are like amazing and they were raised in a different generation that we are not raised in. Okay, so the way that they have raised us is in strictness and, like I want to say, they're toxic, you know, because most-.
Speaker 1:Oh, that motherfucker is toxic Most-. That bitch is toxic.
Speaker 2:Most Filipino parents are fucking toxic. You know what I mean. Like I mean, let's be honest, let's remember watching Bretman Rock's like video of his mom throwing the shit. Like that's similar to like what we're raised on. Like my mom guys are I don't know how to explain it, but they're not great with communicating Like they won't be like you did. This. This is what you need to do and do forward. You know what I mean. Yeah.
Speaker 2:They don't know how to express emotions. They don't know how to say I love you, I miss you or like thank you. Filipino parents, don't do that this is true it's not in our culture, you know.
Speaker 1:So it's yeah no, I totally feel you, man, because, uh, I grew up with a strict parent and I wasn't able to, you know, do the things I wanted to. The I love you's wasn't there, but everything else was there, like the food on the table, working, but it's the whole moral support wasn't there, like I had basketball games that they never showed up to yeah performance that because they were working for sure, being older now, I get it, I get it younger me was like man.
Speaker 1:These motherfuckers hated me, you know. Yeah, I remember it because I was in cheerleading and me.
Speaker 2:you know, yeah, I remember because I was in cheerleading and I was so good at it and I was in it for like all my um intermediate year and I was like mom I had practice today and she's like do I really need to take, like in filipino? You know, she's like do I really need to take you, can't you just like miss it today? And I cried to her I'm like I really want to go to cheerleading. She's like you, you're staying home. And I remember it hurt me so bad. I was like I fucking hate you. You know, when I was younger, I was like I hate you so bad and she would do everything for my sister but not me, which is so weird and I'm the youngest.
Speaker 1:You're supposed to be babied.
Speaker 2:Nah, but I wasn't, she was, so it's just interesting, you know. And back to like where it stemmed from is my childhood.
Speaker 1:So all those things that I went through is I would end up in these relationships that were similar to my parents.
Speaker 2:Oh, really fucking crazy. Like I was like oh, my god, I'm like. That's why I saved you for so long, because it was so familiar in my childhood that you did the same in my relationship wow, wow.
Speaker 1:Crazy. No, that's crazy. We could dig into them cheeks later. Yeah, yeah, oh, my gosh Girl. Okay, we'll talk about it now. So I'm assuming this was like a not good relationship that you were in. How long did it take you to finally be like I'm done, I'm cutting loose?
Speaker 2:Hey, listen.
Speaker 1:Was it years or was it?
Speaker 2:I want to say I was in three long relationships until I figured out there was something that I needed to dig deep. Okay.
Speaker 2:Because my first relationship was with my daughter's dad, my high school sweetheart. We were together for 10 years. Wow, I was in eighth grade when I met him and we were together from eighth grade through high school till after okay, and that was my first boyfriend. I mean like first everything, like I didn't know what the fuck a boyfriend was, you know. Like I knew he was like, oh my god, he's my boyfriend, but all the other things like new to me okay, you know, and I went through hell with that guy.
Speaker 2:We were young. Yeah, I can only imagine yeah, high school. You didn't know, we were so young like he had eyes for other females, you know, and like, yeah, I was young that like I felt like when he did those things I was trying to seek for, like affection elsewhere, while he did the same, like we were so young, you know, like, and then after that ended, I finally left after 10 years, okay, and it was crazy because then I ended up with my son's dad okay and I want to say like I was loved bomb from the beginning and I got pregnant so fast that I couldn't even leave the relationship because as soon as I've seen his true traits, oh my god, he's gonna kill me.
Speaker 2:As soon as I seen his like true self, I wanted to back off, I want, I told him like I don't want to be with you.
Speaker 2:Yeah, then I find out I'm pregnant with my son and I'm like hot damn you know, it's like the filipino, my mom's like you know you stay with your man, like you guys got a kid together, like you know. So I toughed it out and we did it and that ended after as well. Like we stayed together four years and I feel like that relationship almost took me there to like I don't know to heal, but I wasn't there yet. Then, after my son's dad, when I ended up in my ex from here, it was after we were together for four years. Amazing guy, you know. Like he just had his flaws. I thought I was gonna marry him.
Speaker 2:Honestly, um, but it was that relationship that fucked me. Like that relationship took me to a different level, like the things that we did together and that we had planned together and then how it ended. Yeah, that's what made me dig deep and like go through this, like self-evaluation. Like I remember when we broke up, I was like so depressed I'd like drive through like oahu, like on the freeway I get so like I get ptsd. Yeah, because I get all these memories of him and like what he went through what he did.
Speaker 2:You know, like it was so traumatizing. And then I would like catch myself like crying at night trying to figure out like why am I going through this? And that's when I like, I want to say like after I separated myself for like a few months and I like would stay at home, I'd cry, listen to like positive affirmations I thought you could say love songs.
Speaker 2:I'll go ahead I would like write poems like I'll try to figure out where these things are stemmed from. And that's when I realized that my relationships were from stemmed from my childhood, and it was that relationship that broke me, that made me go through all these changes of who I am now that's crazy.
Speaker 1:So, as for guys, because it took you what? Three major relationships in order for you to get to where you're at, to self-evaluate and everything right. So I don't know about like all guys, but for me it took me one and that was like my, my very first, my baby mama my oldest one and um, I had to leave like the actual state in order for me to like get my, get my brain right again, right and um it was.
Speaker 1:It was super difficult and I knew once I left the state because I was like going, like it was a rebound after rebound after rebound, you know, and that's the worst right right, it's because I was like going, like it was a rebound after rebound, after rebound, you know, and that's the worst, right, right, it's because you like, you really like them and it's just like dude, this ain't it?
Speaker 2:Yeah, and that's what I'm saying. Is that what you go through, that right there is actually when you're starting to realize things? Yeah, so for a guy.
Speaker 1:It's nothing serious, but it was just like oh, whoa, I'm taking it but I'm not liking it.
Speaker 1:I'm taking it and not liking it, so it's like I'm going around and I'm just like, oh wow. So I think for us guys it takes that one and we I guess we somewhat us intelligent motherfuckers that understand we finally get it Like we understand. So it's like we don't. When we go into the next relationship it becomes that I guess we know. So if it doesn't work out we'll just dip out. But it's unfair to the woman too, because I understand the woman totally invests their thing, right. So, oh my gosh, but I'm glad that you were. You know where you're at right now. It takes a moon of years, for sure.
Speaker 2:But DK. So I have this question in the back of my head Like do you feel like for men, there's just that one female that made you realize everything that you did, so that for the next female you've actually changed and you have a new slate because you hurt? It's kind of like the one that got away? Do you get what I'm saying? Yeah, one that got away. Do you get what I'm saying, yeah, oh, that's a good question. Um, because I'm gonna be honest, I feel like after every x that I've had, I feel like I'm the one that creates that turning point in them and then they change for their person, because at our ending point, I've like told them all their flaws, I've like tried to tell them what we needed to work on so by the time when it's ended, they're like they've already taken it all in, so for their next relationship they've already, like they know what to do, how to maneuver around things so I always feel like I'm the fixer upper for that fucking marriage.
Speaker 2:I hate to say it, but you are the fixer I hate. That's why I feel like that's what it ends up being.
Speaker 1:Really I don't. To be honest, I don't think I've ever had a female tell me like my flaws after the breakup. It was me just like figuring out, like oh, I kind of fucked up, yeah. Or like if I was with a good one and she went, it would have been like damn, where did I fuck up? And then people would tell me and you know we're ignorant, so it's just like no man, I did everything right.
Speaker 2:True, well, what could guys think with logic, not emotion?
Speaker 1:Oh yeah, that's definitely we think with that yeah.
Speaker 2:Us females, we're like more like emotions, you know, like emotion and logic.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so yeah, yeah. Unfortunately I never got that. I never got a lot of closure from the females that I guess I was with, right you know. But I would have wanted it, but I think I would have been like, oh man, I kind of fucking suck as a human being. But no, I don't think I've had that female that's like, oh man, like the fixer-upper, right.
Speaker 1:I think it was more of me, because you know, like I told you earlier, like I was a single parent, so I had to figure things out on my own Right. So I was pretty good at figuring things out Like you know what this kind of sucks, and also I got to listen to my dad too. My dad knew best, so I would definitely get like like answers from him and even if he didn't know, it's more of like figuring out and watching other people move and stuff. Right, yeah, what?
Speaker 2:you gotta say about that I know nothing. I got nothing to say.
Speaker 1:No, I know you do no no, I honestly don't okay, no, no, but I do.
Speaker 2:I do wish that's like a woman would tell me like my flaws and stuff honestly, I feel like, after what I've like, noticed I'm no longer gonna be that girl where I'm be like you did this in the third and this've noticed I'm no longer going to be that girl where I'm going to be like you did this and the third and this, and that I'm no longer going to be that person, because I feel like you should already know. I feel like I'm always the one that's preparing you for your next.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah, Fuck that.
Speaker 2:No way. And you know what's crazy. Oh my God, Y'all going to be watching this.
Speaker 1:I feel like all my exes always try to come running back. Really, why is that why? Why do exes run back, whether it's a male or a female?
Speaker 2:um, honestly I don't know, because I feel like, unless we really ended on good terms and I feel like we still got something that we could like work towards, yeah, I'm done like I'm gonna cut you off, like the extra skin on the fish, like you do not belong on my like has anyone ever gotten lucky to where you gave him?
Speaker 1:gave him a second chance the old me the old you, but how about the new mature you? Any second chances?
Speaker 2:or almost got there, it's it's a hard, it's a hard pass. I feel like it's so hard, like, like. I feel like if we've had that and you really fucked up and you fucking fumbled me like this next one, you really gotta like be at my feet do you know what I mean? Like the things that you're gonna do need to, like make me see that you actually are going the extra mile. Uh-huh, because at this point, like your words don't stick to me, what you do for me, what you do towards me, will sway my decision.
Speaker 1:I hope y'all are hearing this y'all. That's good, because me now like, say, my late 20s, I would never try and get someone back. Yeah, it was like it was a one and done thing like you know what right you were went right. I didn't like it. There's a reason why you know so yeah, so you don't need to worry about motherfuckers like me trying yeah yeah, well, and that too I feel like for me, because I'm so big on loyalty. Oh yeah.
Speaker 2:So like when you cross me and then you like, try to like any. It could be like a relationship, a friendship, whatever family. If you cross me and you fucking lie to me, you, first of all, I feel like now you're insulting me because you're clearly, blatantly telling me that I'm a fucking dummy to your face. You know, once you do that, I'm done, you're good as dead to me. I'll see in the side of the road I'll be like fuck kick rocks, wow really yes it takes that one time for sure
Speaker 2:yeah but now, if you come across and you show humility and you're like I fucked up, I did this behind your back be accountable. Yes, when you do that, to accept what you've done.
Speaker 1:It shows such a different part of you okay, oh no, um, I just got a little link of cost I'm not sick or nothing. You know it's like hairball, yeah, yeah, basically it's like that little noogie that you can't take out. You know, I'm saying it's like it's right there, man, don't be front. I know you got that. You know, I bet you, when you're at home you're like damn it, chris got me that little fucking noogie. Right there, man, I'm good but go ahead, hold on, hold on.
Speaker 2:Okay, now I'm good okay okay yeah, but um, I don't know, loyalty just does something, can't. It's like I'm such a sweet person, I'm so loving. The moment you fucking cross me all I see is red in you. I'm like get the fuck away from me.
Speaker 1:I'm glad you know your worth. Because a lot of people nowadays. They don't know their worth, especially like the young ones. Oh for sure. Because this podcast hits like kids in high school and even like beginning college, that still don't know what their worth is. And it's like dude, you're there. You know what I'm saying. Just stop belowing your standards for these people, because you are it.
Speaker 2:Oh, for sure, People are it.
Speaker 1:Yeah, like in their own, you know, in their own minds, because I be telling myself that all the time. Right, it gives me that little boost Like I'm not not gonna be conceited or anything but you know what I've done a lot of shit in my life.
Speaker 1:I'm him, you know. I'm her, yeah, you know. Yes, kudos to that. Give me that, yes, oh, yeah, girl, let me ask you um, you was on tubi, yes. How did one get one? How'd you get on 96 hours and two, like, how did they choose you out of so many contestants, or whatever?
Speaker 2:in all honesty, yeah, I'll be honest, be transparent so, oh my god, I don't know. It's such a weird topic to go over, because I did sign you signed like an nda.
Speaker 1:Yes also, you can't talk about it.
Speaker 2:Well like there's just certain things that I'm kind of like on the gray with of like talking about, because I don't know if I say it a certain way it might. I mean, my contract has ended, but I kind of just don't like to talk about the show in a sense oh, okay, well, okay, let me rephrase it yes, how'd you get picked?
Speaker 1:Did you the tape? Or it was like hey, there's that, there's a cute girl, let's approach her and be like hey, are you interested in being a contestant? Or whatever can you talk about that? No, okay, okay how long did 96 is it? Was it really 96 hours or was it like so, like months? Can you tell me that?
Speaker 2:in all honesty, like the show took a few months right but then how, how we actually how, like the initial like, for real of it, it really was 96 hours oh, they just clipped it to where it was months yeah, wow, I think that's just like the the best way for me to say it okay, yeah, cool, we'll get off that topic.
Speaker 1:Yeah, ndas yeah, we can go off now. Yeah, yeah, I know about NDAs, man, I know about that shit. So dating the dating culture, hawaii versus the mainland oh gosh, okay. So tell me about the, because I've never dated anyone in Hawaii as you know.
Speaker 1:What is the culture like? Because, on the mainland, as a young buck, but I guess it's pretty fast we try to get in, we try to get out, or we try to for us guys. We try to get as many women. Yeah, we try to get as many women. When we stick to that one, we stay on that one, but our mind still strays off, you're talking about when you're dating. Yeah, when you're dating. Yeah, when I'm dating.
Speaker 2:So meaning like you date multiple women right.
Speaker 1:I never did, but that's how I know, like a lot of guys are.
Speaker 2:But that's what I'm saying. Like the dating culture in the mainland is like that, yeah, like where, right for sure it was if there was a label then yeah, right, it's one on exclusivity yeah, but if it's just oh, I'm just in that talking phase right then it's right
Speaker 2:yeah, and I agree, okay, and that's, that's the way I view it in the mainland, like I feel like in the mainland, most people understand that when you're single, you date and the reason why you date is so that you are, you meet different people and you kind of like see what you don't like, what you do like and what you stray from and what they stray from and you know, like the ambitions in someone versus someone that doesn't have ambition, like these are the things that you, you find in people from dating.
Speaker 2:That's mainland culture dating okay, tell me yeah dude. Hawaii dating culture is so toxic. How toxic is?
Speaker 1:it so toxic okay.
Speaker 2:So if you try to date in hawaii, okay, and you I always say hawaii, god, I'm so got this like white girl hawaii man I say hawaii, still I'd be fucking up yeah.
Speaker 2:So when you date here I don't know what it is, maybe I'm not too sure, maybe it's like where I'm from in maui. But when you date, let's say, if you go on a date with like steve on monday and you go out on a date with like tucker I'm just trying to do random names with tucker on like wednesday, now let's say your friend's seeing you with those two. You're a slut. That's Hawaii culture.
Speaker 1:That's on the mainland too, though, if they see you.
Speaker 2:I don't know. I feel like in the mainland they kind of, but it's more accepted it is it's accepted, but over here it's not yes.
Speaker 2:But then also over here it's not yes, but then also I feel like in in the mainland, like when you date, like that, and when they ask you like if you're intimate with anyone and if you're exclusive with anyone. In that way it's communicated yeah you know, because I don't know how anyone else is, but I feel like when you date, you're like exclusively intimate with one person and then you just date because you get what I'm saying.
Speaker 2:I feel like that's the way that I've seen it I mean, maybe there's other people that don't just be intimate with one, because I don't know how they feel. But I feel like intimacy is much. It's so intimate, like how can you just like take it and like douse it here like it's not a fucking dipping sauce?
Speaker 1:you know what I mean?
Speaker 2:oh yeah, you know, but but that's what I'm saying. Like hawaii culture is like you can't date here because people just instantly put labels on you like you're a slut or she's with him, like they don't understand how healthy it is to date. They don't girls and guys here on the island yes, that's my view. It's like you can hate me if you want, but I'm just saying what I see.
Speaker 1:I I think I could. I could agree with you, because there's people that I work with are like that they don't date because of, um, what would happen afterwards? Right you know, but it's only with the women, not with the guys. With the guys, it like.
Speaker 2:See, but guys are a little bit different. I feel like the guy yeah, you got that.
Speaker 2:Not going to lie. I feel like the guys in Hawaii like have this really bad rap on, like being so, like, how do I say it? How do you say it? Fuck? What would I say? Scandalous? I mean there's girls, too, that are scandalous. I mean there's girls, too, that are scandalous. But the men here like, especially because, let's be honest, hawaii got some beautiful females yeah like for real, like I've lived in georgia, I've lived in vegas, like I've seen, like hawaii got the most beautiful exotic looking females natural too you know, like I get it, like miami got some chicks too, like all that stuff, but it's such a different beauty here yeah you know, and I don't know how to explain it, it's just scandalous.
Speaker 2:There's scandalous men and females and, like, dating here is so hard because it's labeled a certain way, but then again it's like you really don't have a label. Yeah, do you know what I mean?
Speaker 1:yeah, because I remember when I was single on the mainland and when I was like hanging out or like trying to know something, trying to get to know someone, um, I'm gonna say 99% of the time I did not canoodle that same night it was more of all right. Cool, hopefully I see you again. If I hear from you. Cool, I will link up again and then I would like move forward. I'm not like making out with anyone, I'm not taking anyone home. It's more of like we had coffee and we're done. Right.
Speaker 1:So I'm gonna like, I'm gonna play hypothetical here. If I was single out here and doing, I guess, what I was doing, I think in the woman world I'd probably be considered Like a slut, because I'm hanging out With so many women but I'm not laying In the bed with them, I'm just having coffee. Or do the chivalrous thing?
Speaker 1:I took you out to dinner and then alright, you have an Uber, have a good freaking night and I'll do my thing at home. So yeah, I think I'd be considered a slut out here for dating so many women. But because I'm dating so many women, it's because the one prior to that person it just wasn't my fit I couldn't see myself have another discussion, or, like you you know what I'm saying Like on the next date.
Speaker 1:So, maybe that's why guys out here would probably have a bad rap if they did that. But I mean there's other guys too that just want to get that.
Speaker 2:Yeah, want to get that, nanny, but see like I just wish like the dating culture in Hawaii was like so much more different. Because, honestly, like if you were to allow yourself to date, because let me tell you, you ain't gonna see someone's true colors from like the first day, no, not even the second date, not even the third.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you will see it once you start to like be around them more and that is why you date yeah because you could end up with a psychotic person that'd be like up at your house, like breaking down your door, you know like stalking you at work, like like I've seen some crazy, like, crazy shit, you know like how does one let's say you're on that date, let's say that eighth date you're, you're getting to know person and now you finally see that color of theirs?
Speaker 1:how does one just be like yo, this ain't it for me, I'm, I'm sorry. And they didn't even lay together yet oh I'm.
Speaker 2:I'm so harsh. I don't know how other females do it, but I'll be like damn, you're toxic so you would tell a guy I literally say it I'm like you're toxic and they're like no, I'm not. I'm like, yes, you are. I'm like for you to even like, for example, if I don't answer my phone, and now you're blowing up my phone, you're spamming my phone and you're texting me like why you ain't answering oh and we and we not there yet we're even in general. You know what I mean.
Speaker 2:That's toxic uh-huh because a normal person with a healthy mindset would be like okay hey, babe, you're probably busy like, please hit me up when you get some time, you know. I hope you're having a great day healthy yeah toxic. Why the fuck aren't trans on your phone?
Speaker 1:uh-huh question on regards to that right. If you you got the babe text, hit me up, you don't hit back up several days, oh that's, would you be? No, because you were busy right, it slipped your mind.
Speaker 2:Days is crazy, though. Okay, oh Okay, oh, like days is crazy, that's toxic.
Speaker 1:Okay, let's say 13 or 14 hours, because you were so busy. Like you saw the text and you're like all right, I'm going to hit him up, but you have so much going on in your mind, right, the guy doesn't text you back. Do you think that's toxic of him not hitting you back up? Or would it be a red flag for him to be like hey, I didn't hear from you, I just want to make sure that you're okay? Would that in your head be like motherfucker back up, I said I'll hit you back up, or would you be like oh shit, my bad, I got so many things going on?
Speaker 2:I feel like I have different answers to that, because I feel like I feel like um, if he reached out to me and was like I didn't hear from you, I think that's, that's great, he's communicating okay, because he's worried right now if I didn't get back to him till 13 hours later. That's kind of toxic, because on your part, yes, okay there's something that I um I've seen on instagram where it's like a person is at their phone 24 77. This is facts. Okay.
Speaker 2:So when you text them and they don't respond, it's either because, yes, they're busy which is truth, right or you're just not of an importance to them, and it's I forget what it was too. There's a level of I don't want to say love bombing. That's not the right word, but it's like some type of like mental stimuli that kind of creates this like rejection in someone when you leave them lingering on text for 13 hours.
Speaker 2:Okay, See, I didn't know that I don't want I don't want to say narcissist, but it's like it's a some type of psychological term that it does to a person's psyche when, like you text someone and you leave them hanging, so it makes them like want more. Really yes.
Speaker 1:So what happens when that person is like dude, fuck this, I'm not, I'm not nobody's hanging toy?
Speaker 2:I don't want to say like love bombing, but it's almost like, in a sense of like it's like you're fishing and here's the bait, yeah, and then that person's just trying to get it and you're just fucking with it. Ah, that's what it does to the mental psyche really I hate that shit so then the person is now doing this because this is the dangle. Do you get what I'm saying?
Speaker 2:yeah, yeah, I do, yeah, yeah wow, yes and I get it like I'm guilty of, like ask my girlfriends and my clients, though I'd be so busy, I don't get back to them one time. And I'm like, listen, if I don't get back to you the second time, the first time, please spam my phone, because I'm probably falling asleep. I'm probably like forgot, like I probably opened your message and told myself I'll get back to you, and I didn't. Yeah.
Speaker 2:I'm guilty, and I literally say that out loud, like I'm so guilty for that, like, please don't feel afraid to spam me, you know.
Speaker 1:I'm the same way Right, like when I get messages. I'm like yo, I'm going to definitely holler. Yeah, when. I'm done doing my. And then I forget. Yeah, because it like, when I get these texts or messages, I'm either taking a shit, yeah, I'm doing, I'm doing something with the kids, I'm just like all right, I got it. I'll do it right after right, but then when that after comes it's like oh fuck, I forgot.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, yeah I'll put this load in the fucking laundry you know, in the dryer and then by that time the other things that you're supposed to commit to get.
Speaker 1:Yeah oh, my god, I hate that, I'm sorry guys, I'm sorry now.
Speaker 2:I'm that guy too. I got ADD too, though I'll be like squirrel.
Speaker 1:Yeah, right, I'm gonna do this, but then I'm gonna go do this Girl man, hell yeah. Next question oh, okay, you put this out there, understanding true masculinity, so that a female is able to be at their most femininity. Yes, okay, we can talk about this one. You gave me this perfect example of a guy would give you the house. You, as a woman, woman would provide what the home.
Speaker 2:Yes.
Speaker 1:All right, elaborate on that.
Speaker 2:Okay, wait, I think. What do you mean by that? Wait, how are you asking?
Speaker 1:me that so okay, so understanding true masculinity.
Speaker 2:Right so.
Speaker 1:I think in this, where and this is kind of fucked up and I don't want to be canceled for this, where and this is kind of fucked up and I don't want to be canceled for this but if the woman, if her thing is like primarily like to take care of the home, right, as the guy, we should be able to take care of everything else, like, say, you know all the man stuff that's supposed to be like, cut the yard when you get a flat, we're supposed to, like fix that when you need an oil change, we're supposed to do that, right, not you guys, right. So that's where I'm coming with that Right. Like, let the man be the man Right and let the woman be the woman Right, because we're in this society now it's like we can't even match our own DNA. Right.
Speaker 1:Because, as a man growing up, we're supposed to be chauvinists right Open the door, but they're not. Yeah, they're not. I was trained to all right the bills it's on me, All the me working 80 hours, that's on me, not you. If you want to work 80 hours, by all means do it, but you have that choice. Right, you know what I'm saying?
Speaker 2:or something like if the light bulb, yeah, if the light bulb goes out.
Speaker 1:Hey, babe, I got this. You don't need to get the ladder, I got this shit. You just chill back, make me my PB&J real quick, like, and then cut my ass when I'm done you know, yeah, so I totally agree.
Speaker 2:So like, for example, when a man provides emotional, mental, physical security, yeah, the female will submit okay and like when I say this, I mean like example. Right, I'm gonna paint a picture for you. So there's a her boyfriend or her husband works very hard, has his own business, and so does his girlfriend or the wife.
Speaker 2:The wife also works hard as well okay, but he provides, so he makes sure he pays the bills. You know, I mean, like he, he provides and makes her feel secure in so many ways that she just submits, in a sense where, like she knows to get groceries, so she will get groceries without him having to say anything, and the moment he comes home he's like baby, how much was the groceries? Oh, baby, it's okay, no, how much was it?
Speaker 2:here you go yeah she has dinner made for him, but she's talking to him throughout the day. You know, like what time are you done today, babe? Like okay, so she'll have dinner done without having him to even say that. Can you make sure dinner is made? She has it done because he provides such a security that she wants to cater to him yeah she will do the laundry and make sure that his uniform for the next day is set on the bed, because he provides that security. Those are things that, like masculine and feminine, does exactly, yeah in all honesty, you know what I mean.
Speaker 2:Like even like, for example oh, babe, I just had a, I have a flat tire. Like I gotta go change my tire. Like okay, I'll call you later. He's like okay, cool. Like at the end of the day he's like hey, babe, did you fix your tire? Like yeah, how much was it? Like oh, it was this much. Like oh, here you go. Like yeah, without having to even say it, he provides that safeness for her. So she then does everything to make him feel like a king, and that's feminine and masculinity.
Speaker 1:Why do you think it's reversed nowadays?
Speaker 2:Because social media is a bitch.
Speaker 1:It is. I've been telling y'all that.
Speaker 2:Social media got guys thinking that they got to get catered to, that they don't got to do these roles, that the female got to do all these things. In the man's mentality now, because of social media, it's like what is that female going to do all these things? You know like in the man's mentality now because of social media, it's like what is that female going to do? For me that's horrible that's bring it.
Speaker 1:Well, the female should be in the feminine and then we should the guy should. Do you ever think he, or the person that was saying that, was thinking that way? Or were you already thinking like it was like derogatory? I don't even know. Honestly, I could see it in both ways, but it depends on, like, how the message was being thrown. Yeah, like if the guy was like yo, I expect her to do this because I'm doing all these other things opposed to like hey, which one you didn't do for me?
Speaker 2:you know, like I like the first way because I feel like it's a given uh-huh, where he feels like he's providing so, like as a given, like she's already supposed to just do these things without being told, without having to make her husband or other half feel like why am I asking you to clean? Why am I asking you to do laundry? Why am I asking you, you know, make dinner yeah yeah, I agree with the first part thank you.
Speaker 1:Second part oh hell, no, yeah, that's. That's something like totally left field I'm so bad.
Speaker 2:I'm always like that motherfucker needs to go like to his mom and get a smack.
Speaker 1:I'm like because he was not raised well let me ask you this, miss uh, miss maylene, so growing up with a single parent, right, I was taught to do everything on my own for sure? So I'm in this marriage now where?
Speaker 1:single mom or single dad, single dad oh shoot, so I'm in this marriage now where single mom or single dad single dad oh shoot, so I'm in this marriage, like I've been married, you know, to this woman like almost 12 years now and I'm still doing my own shit because I don't, I don't expect her to do anything, because if I could do it right, like I could cook right, I'm gonna fucking cook right without her, you know, without even asking her right. So what does where does that fall with guys like that in your, in your book, when it comes to the whole masculine and the femininity stuff, where I'm just like, nah, man, don't do it, I got it because I'm so used to doing it right on my own because I've seen my dad, a man, yeah, do the laundry, cook, do all what a female does I think that's amazing
Speaker 2:oh, thank you I think that's honestly amazing, because I can honestly say there was one person that I I used to talk to and he did all that. I remember going to korean barbecue and he would literally like set my plate, he'd like cook the shrimp and remove all the shells, and I wouldn't do that shit. I'm just like you know he'd open my door when we get into the car you know, like he would like pass me the I don't know the utensils.
Speaker 2:Like he'd be in the kitchen cooking, even though I can cook. He would be cooking and he would like. If everyone's grabbing food, he'd be like hey, baby, you hungry, what do you want? And he'll plate my food. I've never like.
Speaker 1:I feel like he is the only one that's ever done that for me yeah, oh girl yeah, so me and my, me and my wife's dynamic it's, it's similar to like that, but she would beat me to it. So like when I'm cooking right it's like all right, everyone got fed, sure, and she would make me play. I'm like dude, what are you doing? Like I'm I'm serving. She's like no, I, no, I got you.
Speaker 2:I think that's me naturally too. Yeah, that's right I cater to my manager.
Speaker 1:And it still surprises me too, because I'm still I don't know man. I'm kind of like an idiot sometimes, like I'm in my own world, like I can do it. I'm going to fucking do it. I don't need, would never have my wife touch my laundry, because I know the funk that I produce I'm dead, I'm like hey, don't touch it.
Speaker 1:You know I don't want you to pass out, that's my shit, don't touch it. But even with the kids, though, like I like doing man, dude, I'm, I'm an inner female, because it's therapeutic for me. You know, like I turn on the music, I'm folding shit, right, I clean the house. I'm turning on old school music, I'm doing my shit and it like I don't need her to do that, but it's in the back of my head. It's like, dude, am I enabling, like, is that wrong for me to think that? Like, am I enabling for her not to do shit?
Speaker 1:No, Because, I want to do it.
Speaker 2:No, ah, okay, okay, no. I mean like from a female. Feel like that you are the, you are the man of the house, regardless of what her roles are, you still are able to help because you want to, because you just have that independence in you and it makes the female feel like damn babe, fuck with me. Like that, you know what I mean. Like, like he, it's not just stuck in your head, we're like now you're the female, so you do that. I'm gonna sit back. Do you get what I'm saying?
Speaker 2:yeah, yeah, yeah like you literally have it in yourself like, ah, baby's cool, I got it. Yeah. You know when she'll be. Like no baby, it's okay, just relax. And because you guys both are in that giving, I think that's beautiful.
Speaker 1:I would have thought that it would have been like oh man, this motherfucker Because in my therapy sessions we talked about enabling and I would always think like, dude, by me doing all these things, like telling her to back off, I got it. Does that enable like put it in her head that, oh man, he got it? I'm going to fucking chill now, you know.
Speaker 2:I think it depends on the female.
Speaker 1:Ah, okay.
Speaker 2:Because the way certain people take information and the way they process it. Yeah. Yeah. I think, it depends on the mindset, perspectives and the female's maturity.
Speaker 1:So you growing up, have you ever been enabled or been the enabler?
Speaker 2:That's such a vague question.
Speaker 1:Okay, very vague. Okay, let me rephrase it. It have you ever enabled something or someone like I feel like I have ah, okay, and then how did that turn out, or how did you?
Speaker 2:I feel like how did you?
Speaker 1:get yourself out of that I okay.
Speaker 2:So I feel like I was doing too much for a person that I started seeing that he got so comfortable that I started doing a lot more and then he would.
Speaker 2:He would request of it from me really yes, and then mentally I started to like sicken myself and I used to get so grossed out because the fact that he's just asking so much of me, yeah, and eventually I felt like I was physically there, that I slowly mentally started to check out and I was like, eventually I was like I'm over it really yeah, because it was like a dating phase and I was doing so much because I just feel like when I'm interested in someone I'm such a giver but I've slowed down my role on that giving and I'm trying to just be more of like the half half of like not even saying 50-50, it's just more like I give too much in the beginning, that I feel like it needs to be earned now is that your love language?
Speaker 2:I think so. I think it's like acts of service, gift giving and feed me food straight to the tongue.
Speaker 1:I think mine's is uh, now it's it's more uh, not extra service um the words uh affirmation affirmation. I'm more of like oh man, thank you. I'm like bet I could go another 50. You know, I'm saying like that before you used to be gift giving right but now it was.
Speaker 2:Yeah, my thing is words of affirmation see, I think minds have changed, because it was words of affirmation before, but I feel like because my mentality kind of shifted and now I'm in this mindset of like words don't mean squat to me okay.
Speaker 2:So your actions, action okay your actions will speak volumes more than your words, because it is so easy for me to be like, hey look, I love you. That's words. Now, how do you know if it's real? Because I just said it to you out of nowhere. I don't know what you're feeling inside. I don't know what your brain is thinking, but I do know you love me by what you do around me.
Speaker 2:Ooh girl, let's fill up your tank right, I do know you love me by the actions that you take around me, towards me, on my back, I guess we washing dishes and clean.
Speaker 1:oh my god, no, um, I used to be like that too, where uh, like, let's say uh, when, when it wasn't words of affirmation, but like when I'm coming home and like there's food already and, like you know, the house is like already Because we have kids, right. Right. The house is just already clean. I'm like bet you know like I don't have to do any extra work. Right right.
Speaker 1:So it used to be that. Now it's just like, man, you turn on my music, I'll do it. I'll do whatever the fuck you want me to do. You know, but yeah, okay, um, was it acts of service? Ah, okay. So let's say, mine changed yours. It's crazy did it change when you changed too, or was?
Speaker 2:it when I want to say it's changed because I've been changing and evolving to be the better me I love that yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1:Girl. I'm so by just talking to you, I'm so happy that you went. Of course it was a fucked up journey that you went on, but I'm glad you went through it because now I see you as like a strong ass woman.
Speaker 2:I'm so humbled by going through those things because, if I had not, I would be such a people pleaser going through all these scenarios that would jog my brain and have me so depressed.
Speaker 1:Like yes, yes.
Speaker 2:And I have my moments. I'm human, oh yeah, definitely. I get in my head. I get depressed. Like thoughts consume me and then I always tell myself, like those are just thoughts, things that I need to not think about because there's so much more, and like that's just another day passing and there's another day.
Speaker 1:Man, and like, that's just another day passing and there's another day, man, I had a girl. I like that shit, yeah, girl, that was fun. Yeah, holy crap, before we dip out, I got one. You know one, and you don't have to dig deep on this question. How can a person get invited to a Maylene cookout or to your barbecue and you know what I'm talking about right? Like, oh man, that motherfucker got the barbecue card. He could come over whenever he wants. What do you mean, you know? So you know how, like, let's say, Like to hang out with me.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah. So I guess it's like I don't know, it's like a mainland thing, where thing, where, hey, that motherfucker's invited to the barbecue, you know like you know what I'm talking about right, yeah, yeah. How does a motherfucker get invited to a mainland barbecue?
Speaker 2:I feel like hey, if you're a solid person and you have this like calm coolness to you yeah I'm all for making new friends or, like you know, like that whole aspect, but if you were like a sleazeball trying to throw some like hit up lines on me and be like hey, mama, you so beautiful, let me do that like you will get cut off so quick it's like I never seen you oh, you better get that 1980s out of here.
Speaker 1:Leave it back in 1980s. I don't do no corny pickup lines.
Speaker 2:I see right through you like that's just for the birds. I don't do that. I'm a woman. You don't be talking to women like that, oh no, no way. Maybe to a girl. The girl be like oh my God, he's so cute. No Gross, I have done that in the bar. I've literally told men you're disgusting, Get away from me.
Speaker 1:Really yes, okay, me, really yes, okay, quick, how does one get your attention in the bar because I um, I'm gonna try and pull, I guess, a 20 year old chris right on your ass, right, right, how does it?
Speaker 2:well, for example, if I'm like out and about and like someone buys me a drink from across the way, not even me meeting him, yet the bartender be like oh, here you go. And I'll be like what is this like? Oh, it's from him. I'll be like, oh, thank you. You know, kind of smooth it in. You get what I'm saying, and then I'm just hanging out with my girls, whatever. Then he just approaches and be like are you enjoying your evening? I would rather be approached in that sense than the hey, mama, let me buy you a drink oh there's like a finesse to it and like a sensualness to it okay, all right.
Speaker 1:Well, here comes 20 year old chris. Then on the line right now. All right, so scenario this is a scenario. You're at the bar. You're with your girls, right? I'm not the handsomest guy, I'm a pretty goofy kid. So I'm at the bar waiting on the freaking bartender to get my drink right. I'm with you. I'm like, oh, hey, how's it going? You say how's it going back. I'm like, miss, would you happen to know how much a polar bear weighs? And you say no, and I'm like, oh, enough to break the ice. Hey, my name's chris. I would laugh there. It is that's all I wanted. I would get the laugh. So would that line? That would be like the coolness. Would I be like remembered throughout that night? Yes, so like say if we leave simultaneously, like you hit me on the sidewalk, yeah, and I'm just like hey. And then I remember your name, amy Lee.
Speaker 2:I'll probably be like hey polar bear.
Speaker 1:Tacos. Taco truck are better tacos taco truck, taco truck. Oh, y'all would have got it. Yeah, yeah, give me that. Y'all didn't use that line. I'm just saying, um, maylene, uh, do you have any shout outs or anything, or where can these people find you?
Speaker 2:uh well, my shout out again is for my son happy birthday, babe.
Speaker 1:I love you oh yeah, hey, happy birthday he, he's 13. Oh, my gosh. You're in the teen years, everything's happening now it is.
Speaker 2:He acts like he's 18. It's crazy. Oh really. Yes, he don't like girls his age He'd be like mom. Girls my age are irritating. He's like I like older females. I'm dead, but it's okay.
Speaker 1:He's probably going to get invited to a senior prom when he's 13, 14.
Speaker 2:But you can find me on Instagram. My Instagram is ilovemaylene. All together, one word.
Speaker 1:No underscore, no, nothing.
Speaker 2:Honestly, I don't even know.
Speaker 1:Ooh girl, you know what I'll tag her? I got her ass, thank you. Oh shit, you know what I'll tag her. I got her ass. Thank you, oh shit. Well, with that being said, KO Studios, thank you for the lovely home. Rafi Bayi, always thank you for the beats. Oh, shout out to Mike and Shayna for giving me this chrome hearts cap man. Appreciate y'all. Thank you for the birthday present, and with that I'm Chris, I'm Maylene. And we out.
