The REALationship Method
The REALationship Method is a comedic podcast about dating, relationships, and advice, blending tips with plenty of tangents. With stories and experiences shared by the cast and guests, it offers cautionary tales to help you avoid making the same mistakes. So sit back, relax, and maybe learn a thing or ten!
The REALationship Method
Healthy Relationships turning Toxic, Spontaneous vs. Planned Partners & Pajama Talk with Kaylee Brooke
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Ever wonder what your partner is really doing when they're "with the boys"? Or how a healthy relationship can suddenly turn toxic? Singer Kaylee Brooke Shimizu brings refreshing honesty to these questions and more in our pajama-themed heart-to-heart.
From the moment we start chatting about real-life sleepwear versus movie pajamas (spoiler: most of us just wear oversized t-shirts), the conversation flows with authenticity. Kaylee shares wisdom beyond her years about friendship circles, revealing the powerful mantra that guides her connections: "You can't soar like an eagle if you're grounded by turkeys." We explore how she navigated high school fame as "the singer girl" while maintaining genuine relationships.
The musical journey discussion offers fascinating insights into Kaylee's path from seven-year-old vocal student to Voice contestant and now vocal instructor preparing for college. Her decision to initially decline a full scholarship after The Voice before later accepting it demonstrates thoughtful career navigation that many creative professionals will find relatable.
Our relationship deep-dive uncovers truths about communication styles, trust issues, and the evolution of partnerships. Kaylee articulates brilliantly how the honeymoon phase gives way to seeing someone's true colors during conflicts: "If you can't respect me in these times of heated arguments, I don't want it." We tackle everything from the spontaneous versus planning partner debate to approaching someone respectfully versus using cringe pickup lines.
Whether you're navigating dating waters, building a creative career, or just enjoy authentic conversation, this episode delivers wisdom wrapped in laughter. Follow Kaylee @KayleeShimizu_ on Instagram and YouTube to keep up with her musical journey!
• Determining who belongs in your inner circle and why "you can't soar like an eagle if you're grounded by turkeys"
• The reality of pajama choices versus what's portrayed in movies and TV shows
• Kaylee's journey from starting vocal lessons at seven to competing on The Voice
• Why initially healthy relationships can sometimes turn toxic over time
• The truth about "hanging with the boys" and communication expectations in relationships
• Spontaneous versus planned partners - benefits and drawbacks of each approach
• How approaching someone respectfully makes all the difference in first impressions
• The importance of being sincere rather than using outdated pickup lines
Welcome to Pajama Day with Kaylee Shimizu
Speaker 1you ready? Yeah, all right, five, four, three, two, one, my, my, my, meryl. Welcome back to another episode of the relationship method podcast. It's your boy, chris, and today I have a very special, lovely guest, um. You might have heard her on, like the radios, itunes, spotify, just running it up, uh-huh, you've probably seen her ass on um, on the voice season. What 24? Kobe bryant rip um. Uh, today I got kaylee and I'm not gonna mess up her last name shimizu. Kaylee brooke, shimizu man, hell, yeah, yeah, you got it. You got it. Kaylee girl, how are you today?
Speaker 2I'm really good man hell yeah how are you?
Speaker 1a girl. I'm excited, you know. I'm saying uh, I've been hitting you up like for a while now we finally connected and um, before we start going um, how did I finally get the yes?
Speaker 2how did you finally?
Speaker 1yeah how, finally, how I.
Speaker 2I love talking stories and I look through your page and I'm like I love the topics he talks about. I love how real it is. Oh my God.
Speaker 1You know, it's just on the real right.
Speaker 2No, seriously, though, I'm for real guys and I was just looking through everything. I love what you do. Honestly, I really to say yes. Oh, I had to say yes.
Speaker 1See, man, I'm not a weirdo. No, a lot of people would think that because you know, it's just a random person going in the DMs and I mean, if your email contact info was in there, I probably would have done that. However, comma, look here, mom, let me tell you no, but yeah, that's like like how I get a lot of my guests is just going through the dms and maybe like in the pictures. But if you know, I'm not, I'm cool with the no, you know I'm cool with the maybes.
Speaker 2But, man, I do appreciate you coming on today yeah, let me be real, I replied late and that's because I don't. I don't see my requests sometimes and I'm like I'm fake as heck. I'm fake as heck because he dm me and a week after I seen it oh yeah and I was like no, I needed, I want to do it, I want to do it hey, I appreciate you, and um, today's the first uh we are, our theme is pajamas hell yeah, hell yeah oh yeah, so where'd you get your um shindig from?
Speaker 2girl, you know, you know I needed to oh, the girl I got this from Target. Ain't nothing wrong with Target.
Speaker 1Tarjay, tarjay. Ain't nothing wrong with Tarjay, but let me be real guys, I don't be wearing this to sleep.
Speaker 2I wear a big shirt and a tittle bun. Let's be real.
Speaker 1Because it's so hot, yeah.
Speaker 2It is hot, but it's just more comfortable, guys.
Speaker 1Okay, sometimes I wear stuff like this, but if I'm feeling just extra comfy, big shirt is the way to go. So let me ask you, um, in the movies and the tv shows, when you see a person wearing, like, let's say, a one piece that matches and everything that's just, that's all fake, because real people don't do that am I right, yeah, you're so right because like honestly, home clothes, guys, come on like basketball shorts and a big shirt. That's facts. That's facts.
Speaker 2Or a sports bra and basketball shorts.
Speaker 1That is true, yeah.
Speaker 2Yeah, I don't know. I don't know.
Speaker 1I've seen my wife wears like they're called. They're girls underwear, but they're boy underwear, boy shorts. Yeah. Yeah, she wears that. I'm like, oh, you can wear that shit outside. I'm like, oh, but don't do it, but you can.
Speaker 2Don't, do it, don't do it, but in this heat girl, I'm from Ewa and it's hot. It is hot there, hot as heck, but I think the weather's getting better.
Speaker 1Better. Better Fall is around the corner Is Ewa, considered west side is it south side, west side? Southwest side west so we have mama in the um, in the audience and stuff. So um it's okay, you know, hey, all gravy. You know I'm cool with chaperones and audiences and shit. So we we straight. So you from eva, um and uh, we talked earlier and born and raised born and raised.
Speaker 2I'm born boined.
Speaker 1She's boined here. Who's this girl?
Speaker 2Oh my gosh, you guys. Oh my goodness, I'm a little too excited, but I'm born and raised here. I was living in Wahiawa for a bit, okay, and then moved to Ewa when I was like what, 10?, 9?, yeah, and I've been here ever since.
Speaker 1Cool, my oldest daughter. She went to leila hua hai really yeah, yeah oh, my mom went to leila hua hey, okay, um mule mules, yeah, how the hell. I'm sorry to bag on. You know, leila, who, you know the mascot name, but how is the mule like intimidating? It's like, hey, we finna go see the mules today. What you know, raiders, is more. Raiders is to be honest, I'm just playing, I'm playing mom, yeah, okay. So, eva, um, was it hard to find this joint?
Speaker 2like here yeah, yeah yeah, you know, to be honest, okay, I've been here, but since they kind of moved like a studio, I was like, okay, there's like three doors coming in here yeah the first door I thought it was you because it was open. The other one wasn't open, so we went in there and there was a whole church service going on praise the lord. Praise the lord, but I'm so sorry for interrupting, like if you want me to sing a worship song, real fast, I will. Oh.
Speaker 2I will, any day, any day, I will.
Speaker 1Are you a church-going person?
Speaker 2I am Every Sunday, I try every Sunday, we try as a family. Or Tuesday, youth adults at Inspire Church.
Speaker 1Tuesday Youth adults. Okay, so let me tell you. Back on the mainland, I had a black nanny. What was a nanny? Well, she was my next-door neighbor. Oh okay, okay, but you know, my dad referred her as a nanny as a nanny, grandma Johnson, rip, but she would bring me to church.
Speaker 1It was like for black people it's an everyday thing. Yeah, like Monday is day thing. Yeah, like monday is like choir, tuesday is like some type of school, wednesday it's uh, I mean I don't know what the heck. But then sunday is like the lord's day. But I, I'm telling you, like black people, churches it's, it's like you have to go dressed up, right, oh my, oh, I like seeing like the old people. Just, hell, no, I sing sing, hell, no, I sing off tune I don't know about that.
Speaker 2You know what I'm saying. He's probably lying.
Speaker 1No, I'm definitely telling the truth. It's like in the shower. I like to you know, I like to pretend I'm singing good, but goddamn, no way, hell, nah, yeah, when did you start? You said you started singing at seven.
Speaker 2Yeah, I seven. Yeah, I started singing at seven. And well, you know what? I always grew up around music because my mom's side's very, very talented. Yeah, um little backstory. Uh, my mom then put me in ballet first. Okay, oh, that was not it that was.
Speaker 1How was that not it like? How did you know like an early age? You know um my thing I.
Speaker 2I have a video. I don't know if we can like insert it real quick yeah, hey I would I would, and we was she like what is this? It was like this you know your left. It was like the scene in um what is it? Alfalfa, where they're like doing the ballet and they're not on the right timing and going the opposite way. Yeah, it was really funny, but I just knew it wasn't for me, but I knew I had fun I was okay then I did hip-hop and jazz.
Speaker 2I had fun, but my mom's like, oh, she's always singing around the house this and that, so they put me into vocal lessons oh, did you try anything else like boxing or sledding or some type of? After I'm still like doing boxing and stuff like that okay yeah, but they put me into um singing lessons and then I had my first performance at seven and from there I fell in love with it there was no going back. I knew this is what I wanted to continue to do hey, that's what's up in school.
Speaker 1Did it continue during high school? Alright, we're skipping through high school now. So you were singing high school. Was there like guys on you, or was there like females on you as well? And then was there guys on you, or was there like females on you as well? And then was there hate at you know?
Speaker 2yeah, honestly like both sides and shit like singing in high school or just like just singing in high school.
Speaker 1Yeah, because they like growing up. I bet you. They probably think of you as like oh, there's kaylee the singer. Yeah, everyone knew me, knows me as the singer?
Speaker 2yeah, but you know there was. There was definitely guys trying to cover me. It's funny, but you know, I don't know, I just got to be nice. There was haters, but if you don't have haters, you're not doing something right? Oh my gosh, that's facts. No, it's facts Really. That's why like keep doing what? Uh-huh, Because it's true, yeah. Also for me, though, like I had friends, I had friends in high school. I still love some of them. That's so wrong, so let's cut that out, guys. Okay.
Speaker 1Psych Meh, meh, meh meh.
Speaker 2Wait.
Speaker 1Wait, where was I going with this? You said haters lighting your ass.
Speaker 2Yep, yeah and honestly. I stayed close to the people in high school that I felt like was for me and will be good for my well-being as well, because who you surround yourself with is who you will become.
Speaker 1Are you still cool with these people?
Speaker 2I am cool, but we're acquaintances, kind of like distance now. Um, I moved to a new school my senior year, okay, and the friends that I made there I still am friends with now huh interesting, super, super cool people, very supportive, even the people in campbell that I was friends with very supportive as well. Still so, yeah, honestly, but I feel like if you look at your friends, you see your future like oh, I love.
Speaker 1There's a quote that I I live by it's you can't soar like an eagle if you're grounded by turkeys that's so true, so surround yourself with people that, like want to grind that love the same thing.
Speaker 2You love you know what I mean, yeah, and that'll just you know, help you do better in life as well, on that side of your life cool.
Speaker 1I'm glad that you you mentioned that topic because a question from one of these folks sorry go ahead and move it, move it somewhere right here, okay, it's all good.
Speaker 1It's all good. It's all good we clean this place. You know what I'm saying? It ain't dirty, you know. Let me chill, let me chill, let me relax. Yeah, relax on me though you know I'm gonna have to draw a mustache on your ass, you know, but no, this correlates with a question from a high school kid um, how do you determine the people you choose to be in your circle?
Finding Your True Friend Circle
Speaker 2like I said, you know you have to feel good around them. You can't be like going home, be like thinking like, oh, maybe I shouldn't have said that or this, and that you really have to confide in them, trust them and, like I said, if they have the same interest as you, it's so easy to connect yeah I think that's how I make friends too, like when we have the same interest or like kind of the same personality, ish, we connect so fast.
Speaker 2For example, I made a. I made a lot of friends in up in the voice, um, but I'm still friends with him to this day. And the reason why we connected because obviously we both sing but our personalities just like not clash, but like just went well together.
Speaker 1Yeah.
Speaker 2So whenever we hung out, I was like oh, I knew you for how long, and it feels like I knew you for years, yeah. Oh, interesting. Yeah, really, really. That's how I figure out someone really is my friend Also. Them just like being there for you and having your back, no matter what, even if you guys just met each other too. It just shows, like the love that you have for people, even if you're not super close to them. Because, as for me, where am I going with this?
Speaker 1I'm like blabbering, it's okay, we like to go on tangents on here. Yeah, you're right. It's all good, we'll talk about, like, freaking horseshoes later or something I don't know.
Speaker 2No, but like okay, let me wrap this up. Really, really just people. Okay, how, what was I saying? Okay, you have to cut this out.
Speaker 1No, no, it's all good. Okay, it's all good, okay. We like the real realness of this exactly. You're talking about um being friends with people for a short amount of time, but it felt like it was a long amount of time right and just being able to connect with them and just I don't know you guys.
Speaker 2You just get the feeling when you know that they can be your friend uh-huh and if you guys don't click, then you guys don't click. That doesn't have to be your friend. You can, can be cool with them, just be acquaintances, but you know.
Speaker 1Okay. So when I went back home. I went back home like say like two months ago, right, I saw my folks from the block.
Speaker 2Yeah.
Speaker 1We're still cool, but I know it's like me being in the military. A lot of things changed about me.
Speaker 2Yeah, but I know that, as for them, they're still the same chilling at the blog you know chilling at the corner store you gotta grow people, yeah, yeah, you love them, but you can love them from a distance.
Speaker 1Yeah, yeah exactly, yeah, so like when your your friends from eva and then you went, you transferred your senior year to this new school. Yep, what like say like they stopped calling you? Did they stop hanging out with you like your peeps in eva?
Speaker 2like what happened to, where I feel like we all just grew up and, when I moved away, like we just moved apart and we just didn't contact each other as much, but like we see each other's posts, you know hardest still yeah yeah, I'll sit in that ass, like you know, on ig, maybe twitter, I don't know.
Speaker 2But or replying to each other's DMs here and there, but really, really, it's just because we weren't going to the same school anymore, not seeing each other. Yeah, getting close with other people, stuff like that, which is okay, because life moves on and you still love them, right. So, yeah, so when I started making friends in HTA what is that HTA? Hta is Hawaii Technology Academy. It's a charter school, a public charter school.
Speaker 1Never heard of that before.
Speaker 2Yes, it's in Waipahu. It's in Waipahu. Oh okay, cool, cool, cool. It's pretty cool, yeah, but for me I don't have much friends. I know a lot of people, but I keep certain people close to me.
Speaker 1Yeah, yeah, yeah Right right, right, right yeah.
Speaker 2So the people that I am super close to, I love you guys so much. Just know, I love you so so much so so much, so, so much. So, so, so, oh, my girl.
Speaker 1In high school when you I don't know, this is going to show my age. Did you guys write like letters to each other too? Or is it just the DM? I mean, you know, like a text?
Speaker 2No, we didn't write letters. You know what's so funny?
Speaker 1My mom recently just went through her old high school box and you had letters to your mom and all her friends were writing letters. I had letters from my friends, right See, I think, right see, I think my mom just has to hop on this podcast too.
Speaker 2I know we're all talking to mom right now. Thanks, mom.
Speaker 1Yeah, we love her we love determining, so determining the circle, because your friends weren't around as much anymore. From eva, you made these new friends at hta, yeah okay, cool so you graduated, yeah I graduated there, yep so, um, what's what? What's? What does the future hold like? Are you going to go to school or are you doing this uh singing thing like full time?
Speaker 2yeah, so I I would say I'm doing the singing thing full time, like I gig. I also vocal instruct. So if you want a vocal instructor, girl, girl, hit me up, hit me up, I got you.
Speaker 1I'm trying to hit her up.
Speaker 2Yeah, so I vocal, instruct, I gig, and then I'm getting ready to go to school in Oregon.
Speaker 1University of Oregon. You're going to be a duck.
Speaker 2No, I'm not going to be a duck. I'm going to be going to New Hope Christian College.
Speaker 1Never heard of that.
Speaker 2Is that? Like a D1 or a. D2? No, I think it's a private school, but I know they're very into music and the creative side and I feel so stagnant in this season of my life that I want to grow. I want to learn more. As much as I think I know so much about singing, I don't. I don't yet. I feel like I've been doing this for so long. But there's so much other parts to the industry even producing and all that. There's so much other parts.
Speaker 2Oh, my gosh yeah you know, so I want to be able to, like, make my own music and produce my own music. You know what I mean. Yeah, and songwriting. I want to learn music there. There's so much more.
Speaker 1So let me ask you there's so many schools on the west side of America, why this school specifically? Why not Washington or, like, say, cali, or maybe Nevada? Yeah, why Oregon?
Speaker 2Let me be so real. Coming off of the Voice, I was offered a full-ride scholarship from this school. Oh, yes, and I performed in this church growing up and the pastor blessed me with the full ride scholarship. But I was like, you know, I want to see what opportunities roll out for me after coming off of the Voice and I did so much last year, which I'm so thankful I did that, but, like I said, I want to grow more. So this year I'm like I did that, but, like I said, I want to grow more. So this year I'm like I want to go to school. Okay, yeah, but then again they said they'll be flexible with my like performance schedules and stuff like that. Oh, that's cool and that's what like really really caught me. I'm like okay, so you're gonna support me on both ends, which is great oh, so you can be living in dorms or an apartment dorms.
Speaker 1Single dorm room is this one of them schools where you have to wear a uniform, uh-uh, thank God.
Speaker 2No, I can't. I don't like uniforms.
Speaker 1You can't wear uniforms.
Speaker 2I just want to be myself, uh-huh yeah.
Speaker 1Ooh girl, you get to wear hoodies and scarves.
Speaker 2I've never seen snow before, guys oh for real. I've snow, so this will be my first time, but I'm so sad I'm missing. I'm gonna see, without my family, like I'm, like we all me and my sisters we all have never seen snow in our lives but isn't there snow? Oh my gosh, there's an island here oh, mauna kea, yeah, yeah, yeah, isn't there snow at the top? Yeah, am I wrong? Oh, my goodness don't don't, don't, don't kill me in the comment if I'm wrong it's some, but yeah, isn't there snow out here?
Speaker 2there's not here, but like another island. Yeah, I think I would start you've never visited never, okay, I'm right, all right, okay, all right, I knew it.
Speaker 1You go to oregon, be careful yeah because, um, I drove, you know, like when it was snowing.
Speaker 2Yeah, is it bad it gets. Bad it gets.
Speaker 1You just got to be careful with the black ice. Oh, the one that makes you slip. Yeah, because you don't, you really don't see it. It looks like regular paved road. Right. But when you're stopping you'll feel that little.
Speaker 2No, do they put something on the tires? You have to put something on the tires, so they put chains on.
Speaker 1Dad, I'm gonna have to call my dad fly out late dad, goddamn fly out to oregon right now, because I literally will get hurt.
Speaker 2If you don't know, I'm just kidding.
Speaker 1So when the first time I ever rode in snow, um, like I didn't know anything about it, I kind of I drifted into like this bush, luckily my car. Nothing happened to my car, but I was just like, oh my god, this is different this is when I was stationed in washington.
Speaker 2I drifted into this bush. Luckily nothing happened to my car, luckily you were drifting into a bush.
Speaker 1Oh my God, this is different. This is when I was stationed in Washington. I learned how to put chains on my tires. Basically, with chains, you put it at the very front of your tire and then you just roll on and then you connect it on the very top.
Speaker 1Basically, this is the chain, the tire's right here, you roll it on and then you connect it on the very top. So basically, this is the chain, the tires right here, you roll it on and then you just connect it around. So you'll be. I think you'll be able to do that that is pretty cool yes girl I never heard of that I only heard of.
Speaker 2Like sand on your, like some type of sand on your. Like I said, I've never seen snow, so this is probably wrong, but yeah, that's probably wrong girl um wait hold up. You said sand Like some type of sand, snow, snow like on your tires.
Speaker 1Put sand on your tire.
Speaker 2Something like a grippy thing who told you that. I forget, but let me think so.
Speaker 1I can go back and tell them why you're embarrassing me on a podcast. Dumbass hell Ain't no way yeah, honestly, Honestly. I don't know who said that. Oregon. You have a good time. There's no self-tax there.
Speaker 2That's what I heard.
Speaker 1One thing I could help you out is you don't pump your own gas. So when I first went through Oregon, they pump your gas and you don't have to give them a tip.
Speaker 2Wow, that is really cool.
Speaker 1Yeah, so you can just stay in your car. Someone will come up to your car Relax or 89 and then they'll. They'll pump your gas for you I like that, but the scary thing is is that um you know how people have like those card machines.
Speaker 2Now they can get your card info that's scary, that's the scary thing, yeah scary, honestly, but I'm like glad that they have that too, because I'd be getting scared pumping my own gas at a gas station. There's some weirdos, some weirdos sometimes. What time of day.
Speaker 1Are you going?
Speaker 2it like the evening, okay one that's where you messed up girl the evening, like you know where. It's like getting not late today, yeah learn it's like it's not getting late, late yet, or sometimes like during the day, of course, before work or something you work yeah, vocal instruct, that's what I. Oh, that's your, that's your gig.
Speaker 1Okay, I thought you had, like I don't know a job yeah, like a nine five.
Speaker 2I got a window cubicle type shit yeah I feel like vocal instructing is kind of like that. But ish, I work two times a week there. I have like almost 20 students really yeah, and they all have private lessons each, each of them 30 minutes or an hour. My older student she's 68, and she's so, oh my gosh, I love her, I love her. She brings in her dog and I've been teaching her for like two months and she's improving so much.
Speaker 1All of my students. They improve so much. Are they all locals, or do you have a white and an African?
Speaker 2or Hispanic, oh, like that, lives somewhere else, no, no, I mean like your students right now.
Speaker 1Are they all local people? Or do you have like a white person, a black person, yeah, or like who you're teaching right now?
Speaker 2oh, yeah, they're all different. They're all different um ethnicities, definitely um filipino, cambodian, japanese so the 68 year old she's japanese, she's talking to me in japanese. She's like, yeah, I'm like wow, okay, and her dog is so good really yeah, her dog is so good, but it's so funny. One time he farted she was like I'm sorry he farted girl.
Speaker 1Let me tell you so teaching right, because I used to teach um hip-hop dance back in californ.
Speaker 2Oh, nice, nice nice.
Speaker 1Where was I going with this? Oh, have you like lost almost. Don't say any names, though, but have you almost lost your shit with, like any of your students or whatnot, for I guess, not doing their homework, or just be like hey, you're fucking up today.
Music Journey and Future Plans
Speaker 2Yeah, right, right right, I get you, I get you. You know what. There's sometimes where I get like, not impatient, but like I know you can do it. So please just try to do it, because if you don't try, you don't know if you can. You know what I mean and when they're like I'm like you can do it, try, try it's, and even like, if they're not doing their homework or certain things, I feel like it really isn't on me, like if they want to put in the work, they will put in the work and it will show in what they present to me when we practice. You know what I mean, so I don't really get impatient.
Speaker 2I think that's one thing about being a teacher is just being very nurturing and patient and safe, safe space for them to just be able to learn, you know. But, like you know, it's normal to feel like, oh, you got it, though, just try, just try, you got it. It can get frustrating on my end because I'm like I believe in you, so just go, go for it girl, when you go to school, to oregon, are you what's?
Speaker 1what's your major? Is it? Music um business, business, music and business did teacher ever cross your path, or like cross your mind, where I could be a teacher in music?
Speaker 2you know it, it has, it has crossed my mind.
Speaker 2Not gonna lie like maybe like opening up my own business and music later down the line yeah or um, that's the only thing that crossed my mind, but really, really for me, I want to focus on my journey with music, being an artist, making my own music, um, also like the really really behind the scenes type of thing like stage lighting, coordinating all of that, how to be more organized, just everything that has to do with the music industry, um, more so, just like, yeah, all of that, but I do think of teaching as well, maybe opening my mind, oh, girl.
Speaker 1Go ahead, go ahead, girl. Okay, so we're going to get into some more of these questions, right? First one Well, the second one is can a healthy relationship from the beginning become toxic?
Speaker 2You know what?
Speaker 1Like it was all fine and dandy in the beginning. You were communicating and stuff.
Speaker 2Honestly, if I'm being so real, yes, I'm so serious it can get toxic because in the beginning you guys know each other, but don't know each other at the same time, like you haven't seen each other's bad side yet. You know, in the beginning it's a honeymoon phase, it's a honeymoon phase. All sweet and cute, you guys definitely do get along. In the middle you start like getting more comfortable and you're like, oh, you know, comfortable and more in love, lovey dovey. I feel like Because you're more comfortable, and this and that. Yeah.
Speaker 2But sometimes people change. You know what I mean and we realize things don't work out, especially if there's a really, really bad argument and you're finally seeing their true colors. It's like, wow, if this is who you really are. When you're mad at me and you don't know how to talk to me, I don't want it. Yeah, I don't want it. I don't want it. If you can't respect me in these times of heated arguments, no, and if it's a reoccurring thing, then that's toxic, right? Yeah, so I believe that good in the beginning and toxic at the end can happen, because I feel like most relationships end that way. Right, if it's like such a, it's good in the beginning.
Speaker 1yeah, yeah, and then I can see that.
Speaker 2I can see that yeah, and then like, for example, maybe someone cheats or just is, they're not getting along too much arguments. I feel like that's.
Speaker 1I feel like, yeah, beginning good, toxic at the end, I think it's a, it's when the other, because if they're not cheating or anything, I just think, yeah, it just got so used to that other person being around that to where it's uh, it just becomes a consistent thing just like, yeah, like bored, you get bored yes, yes right you know that's a question I asked my parents.
Speaker 2I'm like do you guys ever get bored of each other because they got together in middle school? Okay, yeah, they got together in middle school. Um, you know, every relationship has their ups and downs, but you work through it. Um, and I'm like do you guys ever get tired of each other? Mom's like I mean I mean no, no, I don't, I still get butterflies from your dad sometimes. Sometimes I know he gets on her nerves sometimes, but it's normal. Um, and then I remember her telling me like not too long ago, a couple years ago, she just got like comfortable being weird around him. So I feel like that's another thing. But when you really love somebody, you don't ever get bored of them. And if you get bored of them and you're like tired of them and you just don't see a future, then that's, I don't know, not the right person, I guess. Huh, I don't know. I feel like people come and go if they're not the right.
Speaker 1No, that makes a lot of sense it's. It's harder when like say everything's like more down established. Now you know I'm saying like marriage you'll probably own like a dog together. Or yeah, you know, I'm saying you got puppies together. I think it gets harder, especially like if you have kids and everything. I tell a lot of people that are in relationships that you will not know someone until you live with them. Because you don't know how dirty they are how clean how OCD they can be, Because I'm lightweight OCD when it comes to things.
Speaker 2You are.
Speaker 1Oh my gosh, yes, oh my goodness I have to wash the dishes right then and there.
Speaker 2Oh that's good, I can't. Oh your yes. Oh my goodness, I have to wash the dishes right then and there, oh, that's good.
Speaker 1I can't, I can't. Oh, your wife must love you. Oh my, no she's. She gets annoyed, oh super annoyed. She's like why are you washing the dishes? Well shit, you ain't doing it, so I gotta do it. My little remarks will get her pissed, but yeah she knows me well enough to where it's like, okay, he's gonna say something but yeah it's that or um laundry. I gotta do everything like that day I can't let it wait.
Speaker 2Right, right, right. I hate it because it stacks up. It stacks up, oh hell, no, I know that good and well. It stacks up and you end up doing it in a big bulk. I'm like, oh my goodness, even after a busy week I'm like mm-mm, but that is so true Living together.
Speaker 1You don't really know each other really is. Yeah, you know, you know living together. So I've never lived with somebody. Yet let me ask you this does your parents or um does?
Speaker 2anyone else do your laundry. No, I do it all by myself yourself right, good for you.
Speaker 1Um, when you have a man or when you have a significant other, will you let them do your laundry or are you gonna still?
Speaker 2you know I'm an independent girly, I am gonna do my own laundry. But if he's, let me do it for you. I'm like, yeah, do it, do it. I don't want to ask. I want the guy to think for themselves Like maybe I should do my girl's laundry and help her with things around the house and this, and that it's the little things that count. That's interesting, because that's interesting because it is Did it stop recording? Sorry, oh no, it's probably that one.
Speaker 1It's a Sony. It'll turn off in 30 minutes, Okay okay, this one could record like a long time. Okay, but um, oh, no, you're good. You're good, tom. What was I talking about? Oh, laundry. So as long as I've been with my wife, it's like dude, that's my shit, like right I still I know my funk.
Speaker 2Yeah, I'm saying, and I don't want you to like to ever whiff my funk, right?
Speaker 1it's bad. It's bad, so it's like, yeah, but I do ask her if I, you know, if I want her, she wants me to do hers. Yeah, and it's like there's one time I did, but then, I folded it, not her like specifications and shit, you know. So she was like I ain't doing it no more. She's like oh my God, All right.
Speaker 2Girl clothes is weird to fold too, if it's like a spaghetti strap or halter. If it's not folded the right way, I'm like redo, redo.
Speaker 1Oh my gosh. Halter tops right. I mean spaghetti straps. Is that supposed to be hung or is it supposed to be in the drawer?
Speaker 2or does it matter? It doesn't matter. To be honest, I like to fold and just put in the drawer how do you fold it? Do you put the straps in and then you fold it and I fold it like in a little square, and the way I put it, the things in my um, my drawer is like upwards, so like I can see it, can you imagine that?
Speaker 1no, no, I can see.
Speaker 2I can see it's like upwards and I can like look through like paper like a goddamn letter file, right, oh my, so you're one of them yeah, I have too much clothes, that's why really yeah, why? Why do you?
Speaker 1have so many. Why do? Why do women have so many clothes? And for guys it's like oh, we're cool, we're in the same tea why?
Speaker 2because I feel like girls just have so much options. Like when I see guys sections I'm like it's kind of boring. It's kind of like girls just have so much options. Like when I see guy's sections I'm like it's kind of boring. It's kind of boring, but we have so much different type of things oh, yeah, true you guys don't have halter tops or need to wear bras or have cute little sports bras. I feel like it's just part of being a girl like we got, man we got.
Speaker 1We got boxer briefs, your briefs, what the ethical kind?
Speaker 2now we have, uh, I don't know we, we have shirts that we cut, you know the sleeves off, I mean yeah, I guess we are. Yeah, we simple, we simple, no, you guys are very simple creatures, like there's nothing that you guys have that is like insane, like oh, what the hell is this?
Speaker 1oh, yeah, yeah, woman, yeah, they, yeah, y'all got the spaghetti straps, but then you'll be crossing like crisscross, crisscross in the back, and then you have like man there's so much.
Speaker 2How do you? How do you?
Speaker 1guys decipher which like top to choose with what pants is it one of those? Are you guys random? Oh, it just match. So jeans match with anything, right. But why does it take so long, for you know?
Speaker 2oh, this top will look good with these jeans, but the jeans girls are indecisive, like if we have something that we want worth two outfits, we ask okay, for example my mom, she asked my dad, which one should I wear and then, and then she's like my dad's like, oh, this one, and then she asked someone else, right? No, and then she picks the opposite.
Speaker 1my dad's like oh, this one, and then she picks the opposite one. I'm like why ask? Yeah, why ask, why do women do that?
Speaker 2It's like oh my God, I even do that too. I do that.
Speaker 1Let's play this game real quick. So I'm going to say something and then you tell me what it sounds like all right. All right. So, babe, you should change your shirt. What is that telling you as a female?
Speaker 2it's ugly, or or you think it's too revealing okay or yeah, either it's ugly or it's too revealing could you ever flip it to where it's like?
Speaker 1also, we're trying to say I look fat in the shit, you don't love me, no more. Are you trying to say I look like a cow? You know it's like. Would you ever?
Speaker 2I would be like, do you think I'm cute? Like why are you telling me to change?
Speaker 1so I bet you she was wearing this.
Speaker 2It would be cuter on her right I'm like that it's bad, but like I feel like I feel like guys dig it because they're like, oh, she cares, she cares you know what I mean?
Speaker 1oh, my god, because my wife would ask me like oh, um, oh, I'm hot. It's like oh, are you hungry? And I was like oh no, I'm okay. But she really wants to hear yes, I'm, I'm hungry, because I know you haven't ate, because you've been waiting for me all day, so we're gonna go get you something to eat, because, before you pass out, guys did you hear that?
Speaker 2is that real guys? Did you guys did you hear that?
Speaker 1yes, did you hear that? I hate that so much take notes guys take notes. I hate that so much. It's like oh man, are you hungry? No, I'm not, but I know you are yeah, I'm no, it's, it's real, it's real.
Speaker 2But sometimes I'm like I'm hungry, I want to go eat but I don. But I don't like eating if he's not going to eat with me. You know what I mean.
Speaker 1Why is that? Because I could eat perfectly alone. I could do a lot of things.
Speaker 2Because I like to do things together. If you're not eating and you're just watching me, that's awkward.
Speaker 1What if he had some fries? Or maybe he gave you the steak he had the salad. Is that okay? That's fine, that's fine me, as long as we're both doing the same thing, right, I think? That's that's me, but oh interesting yeah, I know so are you the are you? Are you the type of woman that could like say if you wanted to watch a movie by yourself, you can go, otherwise you might need someone with you no, I like to do things by myself.
Speaker 2I'm very like. I like to be alone sometimes. Yeah, you know, I can even eat out by myself, if I wanted to do the same thing too, right because, like, who cares? Who cares if you're by yourself? You know what I mean, girl it's peaceful, like you got.
Speaker 1You got the music, you got the itunes, you got the youtube pop in and you're just yeah, you're eating.
Speaker 2No one in your ear, even like when I travel by myself. I like to travel by myself.
Speaker 1Really.
Speaker 2Because I don't have to worry like guys get your bag on this, Hurry, hurry. It's more so like, oh, I just have to worry about myself, my bag, my shoes, I'm good.
Speaker 1Oops, is that why, mommy, you're like hey, mom, mom be doing, mom things, man mom be doing.
Speaker 2She got to make sure everything is is set yeah, exactly no, exactly mama but, like I said, like I don't need a man to be with me with everything I do, like I like to be alone, but if I want him with me, then I want him with me, you know, and you better want to be with me too now I know right is it is it.
Speaker 1Are you communicating that to him, or should he already know?
Speaker 2Like should he already know that he should be with me?
Speaker 1Yeah, you know he could be like, let's say, I don't know, he could be just out with the boys. Yeah, I'm going to ask you something about the boys too.
Speaker 2Yeah, let's talk about the boys.
Speaker 1He could be out with the boys just chilling and would you be like, oh babe, can you just be with me, or would he be? Is he supposed to?
Speaker 2he's like, hey guys, I'm gonna go chill with my my woman like if I were to ask or tell him, like I'm gonna go to um get something at the store, kind of thing, or like what do you mean?
Speaker 1like yeah, yeah, okay we'll go back to that game, okay, so if, um, I'm asking you, hey, I'm going to the store, do you want to come with me?
Speaker 2Yeah.
Speaker 1What are you hearing?
Speaker 2If he's asking me that I'm going to the store and I want you to come with me, Like what am I hearing? Like meaning, like should I go, kind of thing. You know, it's like he wants to include me and it's just grocery shopping. Honestly, I don't mind that.
Speaker 1I would be like, yeah, I'd come with you, let's go, let's go. I like that. I like that answer because, as my wife she would tell me, she's like you're a grown-ass man, you make your own decisions. You answer that yourself are you gonna come with me or not? Right, I could get kidnapped or whatever right, right, that's true. I'm like, oh my god, it's like do you want me to go or not? And it's like nah, you're grown ass man.
Speaker 2You answer that yourself, and I'm like, yeah, do you want me to come or not? Yeah, right oh my god right. Honestly, I don't mind it too much. It's just, I like to be with him. You know what I mean. Like I enjoy it, unless I'm not feeling it, obviously no yeah but yeah, yeah, as long as I'm being included, then I'm happy are you taking her single?
Speaker 1um pass cool. She's um. She's eating b-max and um. I like to keep it on.
Speaker 2I like to keep it on, we'll cut it out, guys, we'll cut this out, but I like to like keep it on like the down low, because people are hella nosy oh yeah, I'm gonna be talking in like that's cool.
Speaker 1I have a man, which I do, but I have jesus I have jesus, I've got.
Speaker 2Yes, I do have. That's all I need, man.
Speaker 1That's my mind, that's my father so, okay, going back, when your significant other is saying that he's with his friends, what are you think, as a woman? Truthfully what you thinking, because I could tell you right now the answer on what us guys are doing with the boys.
Speaker 2Okay, so if he was going out with the boys?
Speaker 1and he's not like he's being, he's not even being secretive, he's just saying I'm with the boys.
Speaker 2Yeah, but like where would he be?
Speaker 1Where would he be In a?
Speaker 2setting.
Speaker 1With the boys.
Speaker 2With the boys, with the boys, with the boys, with no setting, just with the boys.
Speaker 1You know what it depends if the boys are taken or single.
Speaker 2It's. It plays a big role. It's a mix, it's okay, it's a mix, it's a mix yeah, um, you better be doing right by me, even when you're out, update me, like I want him to update me. You know? Like, especially if it's searching places, I'm not okay with certain places, because some places, like, for example, the bar, if you're taking, you should not be there.
Speaker 1I feel like the bar with the boys. We'll talk about that one. We'll talk about that one.
Speaker 2Yeah, okay or like you know, but for me I'm okay if he wants to just have time to himself, because we all need time to ourself with our girls me time me time right and I want that for him, you know, but as long as you're doing right by me that's all that matters, that's all that matters. Update me, text me and don't just like leave me on delivered or anything delivered. You know what I mean. Just like update. But besides that, I'm okay with it.
Speaker 1I'm okay with it, like I said, as long as you're being good, let me tell you, 80 of% of the time when we're with the boys, we are sitting somewhere talking trash, farting, cussing, eating. Not even looking at the female is like, not even in our hindsight.
Speaker 2That's a thought us girls have like. Oh you're around, girls, huh, no, we're not.
Speaker 1We are just sitting down around a couch watching sports, fartinging, eating chips and not giving a damn you know, waiting for that phone to go off and be like damn, it's my girl, I gotta go home like dead ass. It's like damn, I gotta respond. Yeah, after you know what, after this quarter, and then we're like fuck, I forgot to respond right I'm finna get it.
Speaker 1Oh well, stay till the game right I think that's what it's the little thing of the guys, okay that's what we're doing, right, we're not cheating, we're not hitting up other females, we are just doing what guys do. We're probably even scratching our balls and going hey, you know what I'm saying, that's what, that's what. Or we're just, we're just being dumb and just yeah coming up with scenarios, or like asking us guys like hey, if a chicken, if an unborn chicken gets fried, is it called fried chicken? You know?
Speaker 2we're I can see that we're doing that.
Speaker 1I could see that we're not actually like going out right actively going out okay, that's good.
Speaker 2Yeah, that's really good. You know, I feel like the girl part, like thinking there's other females around.
Speaker 1It's not really like an insecurity, it's just like please, like don't be doing all the things that you wouldn't want me to do so, and then, with the bar, right, because I'm I'm known to like go to bars and like just get a drink after you know, after work, or just to but what if it's like after after hours, it's like why would I be caught there though right, you know I'm saying like I wouldn't be. So what's after? After? Like you're talking about, like 11, 12?
Speaker 2o'clock. I'm talking about like 9. You're going there at 9 pm.
Speaker 1Okay. So if a guy's going to the bar at 9, one, he's probably like seeing a friend from like back home, because our schedule is like 9 to 6.
Speaker 2Yeah.
Speaker 1That could be one. It could be like someone's finally leaving the job site or there's a retirement thing, right, but that's for us motherfuckers, that's like that's working right and working? Yeah, but like, if you're and I'm not trying to diss the construction workers yeah, because I'd be seeing them a lot. If they're them, they're there trying to flex a chain. Right. Maybe like talking to like the hostess or whatever, yeah, but if you're like just out there, then yeah, we're watching sports eating chips, just you know that's drinking.
Speaker 2That's really good. That's the. That's the nine o'clock yeah six o'clock.
Speaker 1It's like more of like man. I just want a burger. I don't want to talk to nobody.
Speaker 2Yeah, I just want to be home and sleep after this yeah.
Speaker 1So it's like it's one, it's one of them things. But like for for people, because like with me I'm like and this is not bad to say but like I'm kind of done with females, like the whole smash and dash thing, I'm not even into that, no more. I'm more into like the actual conversation and like you know what? I'm saying, yeah, I'm all into that, yep. So it's like if I could have a conversation, a I'm cool, whatever, I'm not, I'm not going home with the draws.
Speaker 2Mature and intelligent, like I think that's what matters to when you're talking to somebody yeah seriously, seriously because, if they're immature, it's like why would I want to be talking to you?
Communication Styles in Relationships
Speaker 1what's an immature conversation for you?
Speaker 2um, like for a guy approaching yeah, yes you know a lot of guys like whenever I go to events and stuff like that, they approach me and I don't like when they're like, hey, hey, what's up?
Speaker 2beautiful, or like they still use that 1980s flow or they're like oh, my friend, thought you were so pretty. Like why your friend talking to me? Why is your friend talking to me? First of all, actually I don't even want to talk to any of you guys like I don't want to talk to any of you guys like no, and honestly I think for me, like when I'm out, I don't take these guys like I don't take it as a compliment at all because they're out out here looking for bitches like sorry, are they?
Speaker 1really but like in that type of settings, uh-huh like around, like like, for example yeah, give me a setting, for example.
Speaker 2Give us a setting I'm walking past moani's out of my out of out of the event. I'm coming from Moani's in Waikiki.
Speaker 1I'm just walking past, I'm not going in there.
Speaker 2I'm just walking past trying to get to my car with my friend, and that was like what happened. I'm like oh, shut your face.
Speaker 1Really.
Speaker 2Yeah, yeah, beautiful. Yeah, hey, my friend Like that I don't take serious at all Because it's not coming from a good place and they're all probably intoxicated or they're there to look for girls and that's not my vibe. That's not my vibe at all Like mm-mm, Like just leave me alone, Please leave me alone.
Speaker 1So for people that like say that's their only chance of trying to talk to a person, what's a more respectable way in getting a woman's attention? If you're walking to Mawani's with your friend, to your car? And you're like dang, she's really pretty. I don't know who she is, but I gotta say something before I'm never gonna see her again, but I do wanna see her again.
Speaker 2I feel like that's what guys like. That's like a rom-com shit, that's like a rom-com thing you know, I feel like that's what guys like a rom-com shit.
Speaker 2Yeah, it's like a rom-com thing, you know. I feel like that's what guys like lack like knowing how to talk to a girl. They don't know how to talk to girls and I go home cringing at it because I'm like what made him want to do this or say this? But I feel like a respectful way to come up to a girl, even around that type of setting, is like maybe like tap me, like hi, excuse me, I really think you're really pretty, or something like that. You know what I mean.
Speaker 2Or I seen you walking over there and I honestly was a little shy to come up Like just being real with me.
Speaker 1Sincere, sincere.
Speaker 2Sincere and just being real, like I was a little shy to come up, but can I ask for your number? Just like so, like big chest, like hey, what's up? Beautiful, or oh, my friend thinks you're really like, it's just not it. But first of all, I would not be finding my soulmate at Moani's. Let's be real.
Speaker 1Moani's is a bar I think it's a bar.
Speaker 2I'm not of age to be in that In Waikiki. Yeah, but they were like on the outside.
Speaker 1I was on the outside too, so I'm like I would not find my soulmate around the bar. I don't think so what if he was? Passing by moani's as well. You know, you never know, you never know, you gotta, you gotta see. You got a point.
Speaker 2He probably coming from the bookstore yeah, he probably was, and moani's was just right there right, you're right honestly, then that would switch my whole perspective.
Speaker 1But would he have to say it first?
Speaker 2I would see it. I was coming from the bookstore and I saw you.
Speaker 1I just had to say something.
Speaker 2That's nice, because I'm like okay, you're intelligent, you like books. Okay, you're not at the bar Love that.
Speaker 1Do you think, in a certain setting, that that macho stuff would work? That what like what you're saying, like oh hey, what's up, hey girl, yeah, would that work in in, like in a separate set, in a different setting, like say, they're in mohani's, the woman is in mohanani's. Would that work as well? No, for me. No, the whole sincere thing is still a go sincere, very respectful, because that goes a long way.
Speaker 2That just goes to show a person's character right off the bat. But no, that's all I gotta say have you watched Hitch before? No, it's familiar though.
Speaker 1Will Smith, eva Mendes Okay, oh, she was too young, oh, okay.
Speaker 2Maybe, I am, maybe I am.
Speaker 1There was a scene where Eva Mendes, not Eva Mendes yeah, eva Mendes, she was getting flocked by guys, right? Okay, will Smith comes up to eva mendez, gives her a dollar or gives her some type of money and um said oh, I want drinks at this table or whatever. So eva mendez follows will smith and says hey, I'm not a waitress here. Here's your money back. And will smith says I know how am I supposed to get you away from those guys to talk to you? Would that ever work on you?
Speaker 1You know what you know what Can that work on a female?
Speaker 2That honestly probably could work. It probably could work honestly and she was getting trampled by these guys.
Speaker 1Yeah, yeah. So these guys were like trying to get at her.
Speaker 2And he was like trying to get them away, protecting her kind of thing.
Speaker 1Kind of guys were like trying to get at her just and he shoot. He was like trying to get them away protecting her kind of thing, kind of, or like maybe his, maybe he was just trying to talk to her, to you know, just just him.
Speaker 2But the only way, to do that was to get no.
Speaker 1It's because, like oh he's chasing me a little like that's kind of cute.
Speaker 2It's kind of cute, it would probably work. It'll probably work on me, honestly yeah what do you think?
Speaker 1what do you think of guys chasing the woman? Is that still?
Speaker 2I like that, like it shouldn't be the woman chasing him because that's facts he's a man, he should be leading yeah we're just following his lead uh-huh you know what I mean.
Speaker 1So I feel like a woman shouldn't be chasing a man like that when a man stops chasing a woman, does that, is that, like a, an indicator to the female? To me it's like you don't like. Can you guys tell?
Speaker 2I feel like the energy shift you can tell you really could. And when a guy probably stops chasing, I think that's when I'm like, am I doing something right? Like that's where communication comes in, because I would want to know, like, what am I doing different? That you're not, you're stopping what you do You're used to do, blah, blah, blah. Sometimes I feel like women can chase to still and just. It's not really. I wouldn't say chasing. I would say, like trying for the relationship, that's the right word. But if the guy is not trying, then if why would we continue? You know what I mean. I understand you got to reciproc the right word but if the guy's not trying, then why would we continue?
Speaker 1You know what I mean. I understand.
Speaker 2You got to reciprocate, reciprocate energy towards each other. You guys have to give each other. They say you have to bring 50-50 to the table. Right, isn't that the saying that's?
Speaker 1a saying yeah.
Speaker 2Yeah, but I feel like you both should bring your 100- yeah for each other instead of 50. 50 because where's the other 50 on your?
Speaker 1half on your behalf.
Speaker 2But yeah, I feel like so young, yet so knowledgeable.
Speaker 1This one next question is uh do you prefer someone spontaneous or someone that plans things out?
Speaker 2for me, I like spontaneous hangouts and stuff, but no, let me rephrase this I like planned out things.
Speaker 1Planned out things as in like future or as in like the day. Let's go with day first, the day. Planned out or spontaneous.
Speaker 2Planned out and then it can be spontaneous, like, for example, we go to the beach and we're like, oh, maybe we should go here, maybe.
Speaker 2Or like, let's just drive around and figure out where we want to go that's spontaneous, but the beach was planned out in the beginning yeah, okay and just like going with the flow after you know, because I don't think everything has to be so uptight when you're just hanging out. If you're hanging out having a good time, let's figure it out. Oh, we saw a pottery class on the road. Let's go. It wasn't in our plan, but let's go right. So I think I'm a mixture of between how about future, spontaneous or planned out? Planned out planned out to make sure it's in my calendar, because I'm forget oh it has to be my calendar.
Spontaneity vs. Planning in Relationships
Speaker 2so yeah, and for me, I like to plan things out, but also, if a guy planned things out, that that's like Well, that's a plus. That's a plus, because what do you mean? What do you mean? Let's go have a picnic at the beach and then get boba and then do devotions and then come back Like girl. Please what?
Speaker 1Oh hook line sinker huh.
Speaker 2Yeah.
Speaker 1Like it's just like like to plan things out. What separates the spontaneous guy from the guy that plans things out? Meaning, how do I break this?
Speaker 2how does a girl feel towards both yeah well, a guy that plans things out seems like he has his stuff together, knows what we want and things will go smoothly. Um, spontaneous guy, I feel like you know you will have fun, because you don't know what comes next and that's what women right right it's like a mix between.
Speaker 1So I'm like, hmm, it's a mix between so could it be boring if you're with a planned out guy for a long time?
Speaker 2probably yeah yeah probably yeah, because sometimes you don't want to always go off an agenda, you want to to just like.
Speaker 1Oh, that's facts, yeah.
Speaker 2Yeah, have fun. I think that's. Yeah, it is facts, fuck that.
Speaker 1Super facts. Yeah, me and my wife, we do a lot of spontaneous things. That's good, but I do like Like with the kids. Yeah. It's like, oh, we're going to Chuck E. Cheese. Nah, we're going to fucking Kid City.
Speaker 2Yeah, yeah, yeah right, or we're going to the beach. They're still equally fun.
Speaker 1It's that.
Speaker 2Right.
Speaker 1And then when I'm hanging out with my wife, it's because our schedules are all like kooky.
Speaker 2Right, it has to be planned. Yeah, yeah, you know does. Especially with a busy life you need to have a plan sometimes, but when you're trying to find that balance, you know kids, and then just me and her.
Speaker 1I feel bad though why because? Uh, like I'm a morning person and she's a night person, I'm a night person so like when I come home from work I do my dad things take the kids a shower, dinner prep for breakfast, this and the third and all that right by the time she comes home, I'm like, like girl, I'm going to sleep, but the babies want me to sleep in their room, so it's like I have to be in there, you know.
Speaker 2Right, and you just end up falling asleep and I just end up and then just waking up in the morning, repeat and stuff I know she wants that.
Speaker 1You know that us time. But it's like ah, you know what, I'll make it up yeah, right I do feel bad, like I know she wants to hang out at night and stuff and like, do a recap of what happened, because there was a point where I stopped following her. Like her her social media because, like she posts what she's doing. It's like yeah what is there to talk about?
Speaker 2yeah, I already saw it.
Speaker 1Yeah, was it a problem a little bit um, when we were first dating, yeah, she posted everything. And then, when we're together, it's like I, I really can't say nothing because I commented on everything texted love, what happened. So when we're together, it's you know everything already.
Speaker 2Yeah, that is so true. Like when you're texting like, oh, how was your day today? Um, and you see each other later in the day. It's like we're eating. What do we talk about? Like, oh, wow, the ceiling is really nice. Like what girl?
Speaker 1are you a mass texter like do you um when your significant other texts you?
Speaker 2yeah, do you?
Speaker 1text back quick or do you leave it like is your phone usually down or are you on like silent mode?
Speaker 2I'm, uh, I'm on silent mode sometimes, most of the time my mom knows that because I'd be losing my phone and we can't find it because, yeah, that's what silent mode does for your phone oh, dnd too sometimes. Yeah, actually, guys, but that depends on what I'm doing. But, um, I reply fast depending what I'm doing. Like, if I'm not busy and I'm bed rotting, I'm gonna reply back fast, but fast. But if I'm rehearsing, if I'm working, I'll find time to reply to you. Like.
Speaker 2I'll put you. You know, make sure you're a priority when I have time.
Speaker 1Girl, you have a 24 hour window with me. If I see your text, because in my head I'm just like all right, man, I'm finna. Text this motherfucker back. You got 24 hours until that shit's like man dog, I forgot.
Speaker 2I'm so sorry yeah and then it becomes so disrespectful Like, oh my goodness, sorry, I meant to reply yeah.
Speaker 1I didn't mean to do that, man. Yeah, why do women and men too? Why do they ghost each other Like what's the point of? Oh my gosh? That of let's say you text someone and there's a lengthy wait, and then they finally be like okay, or haha, like they're finally replying to the text like why do we ghost each other? Yeah you know, why, why, why is that?
Speaker 2in like the talking stage, I feel like not when you get into a serious stage you can't ghost each other. Like when you're serious with each other and you've hung out so many times, there's like no way you could ghost. But if you guys are just talking and it's like you know funsies, I feel like it's okay too, because then you figure out like oh, they're not really, they're kind of boring or not really like the space thing, like I'm.
Speaker 1This is what I want. I want space. That's why I'm not texting back no, that's, that's a lie.
Speaker 2That's a lie. I feel like that's a lie. Girls say like, oh, I wasn't texting back because I just wanted space. And if it's just a talking stage and like you guys are super, super new getting to know each other, I feel like that's a lie. I don't know. I need the girls to back me up on that because, like, if you're not feeling the guy, then you're not gonna text back right away. If you're feeling him, then you're gonna be replying to him, getting to know him more, wanting to make plans. But you know, like I said, sometimes people aren't, some people aren't for you, and you realize it, and sometimes you don't. We don't know how to like stop things, so we just go really so we just go the whole the whole women wanting communication.
Speaker 1Y'all can't serve that.
Speaker 2Y'all can't really be like you know that is so true, I can't. This is not working out for me right now yeah, I'm very, very good at communicating how I feel. Like if I'm feeling some way, I will tell you and be blunt, um, but that's when we're later down in the relationship. In the beginning, I don't owe you nothing like I don't know you that well? I don't owe you nothing yeah, yeah no explanation.
Speaker 2I don't know you, you don't know me that well, bye, I'll probably see you around, but it's not in a disrespectful way. It's just like you know. We're not for each other and we both realize it when the conversation is really dry, oh, fast. You know what I mean it's like, okay, we can just be friends High five, just be my friend.
Speaker 1Next question Could you list the things that uh, women shouldn't say to men and vice?
Speaker 3versa, or men shouldn't say to women hmm well, like what?
Speaker 1as a woman, what don't you want to hear from a guy? Oh um no I don't like that one. I I hate that one so much.
Speaker 2No, we can't go Like, what do you mean? No, no, I want to go though I sound bratty, but I feel like no, when I'm asking a question that should be a yes which I know should be a yes Kind of like makes me upset. Why should it be a?
Speaker 1yes. What makes it a yes?
Speaker 2Like what do you mean? You want to get cookies with me? No, I'm just kidding, I'm just like so the guy right dinner.
Speaker 1Do you want to have dinner? No, are you offended? Well, I can't have dinner because I'm trying to lose weight that's a good one, that's a good one that's actually a really good one.
Speaker 2Um, for example, yeah, that's actually a good one okay, if you're like, oh, I'm trying to lose weight. I'm like, oh, that's fine, we can do something else. Let's steer it another way with the plans. I still want to see you. Oh my goodness, oh my gosh. Um, but, like you said, you're trying to lose weight.
Speaker 1Let's go to the movies no, because I've I've read the book and just say you hate me.
Speaker 2I'm kidding.
Speaker 1I don't say that we're trying to say you don't love me, no more. No, it's like no. So for the movies, I've heard um uh, I've read the book and I'm afraid that the movie's not going to do it justice.
Speaker 2I've known someone that said okay, if you've seen it already, or if you read, heard about it already. I think that's like we shouldn't spend our money on that. You can come to my house.
Speaker 2No, you use paper plates and I need fancy china At that point I probably would feel like I would feel like that's crazy, that's crazy. I would feel like, okay, you don't want to hang out, we can hang out another time. Like you can just tell me like, just be straight up, you don't want to hang out if you want to rest. I know you had a long day, kind of thing. Then, oh well, that's when I'm like oh well, I'll stop trying I'm done, yeah, kind of thing, yeah, but I feel like for for girls, things that they shouldn't say to guys.
Speaker 2Um, I feel like not allowing them to do things that make them feel like. Feel better about, like, going to the gym Like some girls no, you can't go, like why. Feeling masculine.
Speaker 1Yeah, like that type of stuff. Letting us be masculine.
Speaker 2I feel like women shouldn't stop them from that, Obviously saying another girl is pretty or another girl is hot a woman can say that to another woman, Right?
Speaker 1Like oh you're so pretty, or another girl's hot a woman can say that to another woman, right, like, oh you're so pretty. Can a guy says a? Can a guy tell his girl damn that that guy works out, he has a nice ass honestly, that'd be sus.
Speaker 2I don't think that would be sus I'm a fucking handsome yeah, like oh, he's really really handsome. Like oh, he's like bulky. I'm trying to get like that stuff like that, that's like fine, that's fine as long as there it's not. But like me saying a guy's hot, or like him saying a girl oh wow, that girl's like really like something like that. That's hella disrespectful, have you when you're significant other, have you?
Speaker 1have you two ever saw the same booty and you both looked at each other and you're like damn.
Speaker 2I feel like that's me, though. I feel like that's me. I'm like, oh my gosh. Did you see that? I'm like, did you just see her butt? He's like what. I feel like he'd be acting like you don't see it, but like it's me.
Speaker 1I'm like, oh my gosh look, and I thought that was like the coolest thing, where we saw a female just walk in front of us right and we're just like, and we're like damn.
Speaker 2Right. Sometimes it's like it catches you off guard and I'm like I'm trying to get like that.
Speaker 1Like we both looked at the same thing, yeah and it's not even a disrespectful thing. No, it's not.
Speaker 2It's like oh god, yeah, it's just like it caught you guys both off guard. It's like what the hell? But yeah, I feel like in that perspective it's okay in a way. But as long as you're not like really checking out, like you shouldn't be checking out other people, first of all, I'm here. I'm here.
Speaker 1So do you prefer the guy to lie to you then no, so no. That's actually a good. So I'm saying like let's say you both are out. You saw, like this attractive woman passing by.
Speaker 2Yeah, you asked the guy hey, did you see her?
Speaker 1and he's like nope, nope, I would not like that, because I'm guilty of doing that all the time I watch.
Speaker 2I'll be watching your eyes. I'm not, I'm like this yeah, I'm wearing sunglasses, sunglasses, sunglasses.
Speaker 1Yeah, I haven't. I never see nothing. Yeah, I didn nothing.
Speaker 2Yeah, one thing about girls is we admire other girls and it's not even like in a checking out way, it's just like, wow, she's beautiful yeah, she did like you know, it's like just admiring really, but I don't know, I think I don't know.
Speaker 1Yeah, I don't know yeah, guys will lie guys will lie, we'll live with that I'm one of them, because I can't, because it's gonna be, oh, so you're checking her out. I don't want that. I don't want that conversation.
Speaker 2I don't want that argument. So I'm just like nope.
Speaker 1Because we're pretty smart. We'll see that female, like I don't know, like 20 feet ahead, and when she comes closer it's like, oh, fuck this. Yeah let me look away. I'm not looking here. It's like nope, Did you see?
Speaker 2her Nope.
Speaker 1You saw me looking this way, babe.
Speaker 2Yeah, I never seen nothing. Yeah, we'll definitely lie, oh my.
Speaker 1God, I'm just giving you like a heads up. Right now we will be like nope, we didn't see nothing Like. If he's one of the ones where he's like eye, I see shit.
Speaker 2Nope, no, nope, nope. Oh my gosh, oh my gosh, I cannot.
Speaker 1I cannot.
Speaker 2Is that real?
Speaker 1That is no, that's definitely real.
Speaker 2Yeah, honestly though. But yeah, for me, I don't find myself like checking out guys. Sometimes I don't even see the person I'm like what don't even see I know they're around, but I just don't look. You know what kind of thing yeah, but I mean your peripherals, I know peripherals.
Speaker 1You kind of blind girl you can see all this unless you're like this right? But if you're like this you could definitely see like someone walking yeah, oh damn, you know what smells oh are you attracted to, smells, okay. Or like, like, say, if a guy, like a man, walks past you, you got, you got his whiff and you're like, goddamn that aqua. The geo is like awesome right now well, honestly there was.
Speaker 2I don't I think more so. It's just like oh, it smells good. I don't like turn my neck and be like damn, who's that like. I just like, oh, that smells good. What is that? It's just like oh, it smells good. I don't like turn my neck and be like damn, who's that? Like. I just like oh, that smells good. What is that? It's kind of like in the air. I don't really like like look back to see if that guy was cute Like. You know what I mean.
Speaker 1Really so you don't look back if the scent matches the guy's face?
Speaker 2Let me know.
Speaker 1Let's be real now. I'll be like, damn, that smells good. You well put together, dude.
Speaker 2Hey, you're showing time I think we don't have to like cut this out, but I'm like trying not to say much because my man probably going to watch this.
Speaker 1She's like, hey, do I speak A conversation about a?
Food Preferences and Final Thoughts
Speaker 2behalf. No, okay, but like, let me be okay, let's be serious. There is a scent that my man wears that I love it. Like he has like three scents and one of them stands out to me and I told it, told him I was like that's like my favorite scent that you wear do you buy it for him for christmas or birthday? He's just been wearing it for years. Oh really, I was like before you met him.
Speaker 1Yeah, that's his thing.
Speaker 2Yeah, hey, nice you were like three, the three different colognes, and I know the difference. When he wears this one cologne, I'm like wear it again Because it smells so good and it's just great, like I probably would turn my neck for him If I smelled it.
Speaker 1How about Was it detergent? No, not detergent.
Speaker 2Deodorant. Deodorant.
Speaker 1Does he use the same deodorant or does he switch up?
Speaker 2I think he uses the same deodorant.
Speaker 1Atta boy, because us guys we stick with one are y'all thinking nice man no no, hell, nah. No. Does he axe it up too?
Speaker 2no, I don't axe it up, no, yeah, he's just like. And then sprays his cologne, I believe good, and he puts it. He puts his cologne in the fridge. That's how you know it'd be sticking.
Speaker 1Oh yeah, that guy's weird oh I've never heard of that stuff before put in the fridge put that out. I'm just kidding um, yeah, frit, okay, oh no, never heard of that.
Speaker 2I feel like the cologne sticks better if it's like in the fridge there's like some it lasts longer. I think I might be wrong.
Speaker 1I'm finna put my shit in the fridge as a matter of fact? Yeah, exactly in the fridge now okay huh, before we dip out, tell me one thing that annoys you of your man, and he knows about it okay, let's see.
Speaker 2So it's like not a secret oh my gosh, okay, when we're driving, when I'm driving and like I'm like taking the wrong turn and he's like no, he took the wrong turn, we both start panicking and I'm like dry, I'm like whoa, what am I doing? And I.
Speaker 2I get annoyed because I'm like I'm literally gonna crash, but I think he trips out more than I trip out sometimes. Yeah, yeah, sometimes, because he's my passenger princess, with the GPS in his hand. You know what I mean. Yes, sometimes he's like looking, I have mine on the dash, but sometimes he does it for me. But yeah, that's one thing. I think, mmm, there's not much that I get annoyed by oh, you haven't been with them that long.
Speaker 1Oh, you haven't been with him that long. No, I have, I have, I have.
Speaker 2I really have. No, actually there's a lot, there's a lot, that's good though that's a good one though. I won't say I feel like just on the road when you're driving, I think it's so much anxiety when you both know you're probably going the wrong way. Oh, that's facts, stuff like that. Yeah, you ain't lying like oh, you should have went already, you should have ran. I'm like I'm scared. There's a car coming girl.
Speaker 1Yeah, mine is when my wife says, oh, we'll eat anything, and I say I go down the list and it's all no's, no's, no's, and I'm just like yo, I give up. I don't know what you want to eat, you know? Oh, that's a good one. Yeah, like oh, what do you want to eat, babe? Uh, I don't, I don't know anything. That's a good one, jack in the Box. No McDonald's, no Zippy's, no. Fuck that, what do? You want to eat? I don't know anything, the fuck, no, no, hell, no, that's one thing.
Speaker 2I really I'm just like what do you want to eat? I'm like I'm not sure I end up picking.
Speaker 1Okay.
Speaker 2I think it goes both ways he doesn't know, I don't know, and I'm like I don't know where we want to go. Wow, I don't know what the plans should be.
Speaker 1Girl, when it comes to food, I'm like I'm down for anything, Because like my palate my palate's like everywhere right, hers is like certain things.
Speaker 2Yeah, yeah, I'm great with certain things. I'm great with certain things, do you really?
Speaker 3Yeah, you look like your mom for that one, when you were in the belly.
Speaker 1Yeah, girl, I was giving her a little bit.
Speaker 2She's fish. She decided when she got old enough. She didn't want certain stuff. I don't like fish you don't like fish no.
Speaker 1Are you allergic? Is that why Fish is gross? Fish is gross she just doesn't like it.
Speaker 2The texture, the smell, Okay.
Speaker 1I can see the smell. The texture is alright. It was like gushy, I'm like no, so is steak, though, uncooked steak. Well, not uncooked, but like medium rare, still bleeding. That's chewy.
Speaker 2I like mine usually fully cooked.
Speaker 1As in like freaking black on the outside black on the inside too, yeah, like brown yeah. Girl, you have not yet.
Speaker 2It has to be juicy though.
Speaker 1Medium, rare, like peak on the inside.
Speaker 2You know what? I've tried it and I'm not going to say I don't like it, because I do like it, but I prefer.
Speaker 1Like well done, like a well done type situation. Yes, well done.
Speaker 2Yeah, it's like huh, but yeah Cool.
Speaker 3She's got burrito and pizza and burger. No, not pizza burrito.
Speaker 2I love burritos and burger. I get my best burritos from LA.
Speaker 1Yes, Cali burritos Barnard you know Hawaii got shit in there.
Speaker 2Oh my gosh, I've never really tried a really good burrito here. No, there's none here. There's none.
Speaker 1I've tried a lot when we first came on the island. That's the first thing that we were looking for. The closest one was Surf and Turf by North Shore, that's like the closest authentic Mexican food that we've gotten here. But other than that like the mom and pops, it's like oh man, it's not juicy, not enough flavor, yeah, like they put more rice and like the condiments rather than the meat, the meat right. Yeah, that's what I recognize.
Speaker 2They call them fillers Right and the cheese ain't cheesing either, Like when I'm eating it it's not the cheese isn't cheesing, no, the cheese isn't cheesing, it's not like from like a black and white cow.
Speaker 1It comes from.
Speaker 2Yeah, exactly, ooh, man, but I need to go. I literally would travel to LA just for a freaking burrito.
Speaker 1A burrito. Yes, what's your favorite burrito?
Speaker 2What is my favorite type of burrito? Yeah, yeah yeah.
Speaker 1I just like my ground beef Carne asada, carne asada burrito. Yeah, have you ever had a California burrito? No, it's a carne asada with fries in it. Oh my gosh. It's called a California burrito.
Speaker 2That sounds so good Girl it is?
Speaker 1Where is it from? It's in Cali. Like in every little taqueria, the mom and pops it's called a California burrito. It's a carne asada with fries guac like you name it the fixings with with fries.
Speaker 2That's just fire. Oh, oh, my gosh. Do it beyond doing me on putting out like that grills.
Speaker 1We're doing Cali. This is my blast. We're in Cali. Did you try out in and out what was your was her?
Speaker 2My honest opinion. The first time I tried it, the fries made me feel nauseous. I don't know if I was in the car my dad was was driving crazy, but my fries were too.
Speaker 1Was it regular fries or was it animal style? No, it was regular, just regular. Okay, okay, yeah, and I think it was too airy.
Speaker 2I think the fries, uh-huh. And then the second time I came around, I ordered the right burger, the animal style fries. Oh my God.
Speaker 1Girl.
Speaker 2I think that was the hell. Is this Right, oh my?
Speaker 1god, right, you come here. You're like dude. Where's the love? You realize that.
Speaker 2Hawaii has not much. They're bringing in some new like joints here, like okay, but hey, they gave us a chick-fil-a and I honestly really like it.
Speaker 1I was like we need it in and out need an In-N-Out here, chick-fil-a's not bad. They do need an In-N-Out. Yes, mom.
Speaker 2Yeah, yeah, you know, actually Chick-fil-A was what I crave. Me and my man went to go grab Chick-fil-A one time and we went to Nimitz to just eat it in the back of his truck and it was like the best little date. Yes, hell, yeah, hell, yeah, hell yeah, girl, kaylee, that was fun. That was fun.
Speaker 1That was fun, you know I love yapping.
Speaker 2I can talk stories, man, hell yeah. Girl, that's probably like that's like an hour and some change. Yeah, Do you have any shout outs or?
Speaker 1anything or where can these people find you at?
Speaker 2Okay guys. Hi, my name is Kaylee Brooke we. You can follow me on KayleeShamizu underscore. I know you're probably like girl, what the heck Kaylee really loves it. I don't know what I'm saying. I'm trying to like get Kaylee Brooke into the picture now but I can't change my handle right now. So KayleeShamizu underscore is on all platforms On YouTube, KayleeShamizu's YouTube, TikTok and Instagram. Yeah, if you guys enjoy this podcast, give him a follow too. Oh my God, Okay, yes, give him a follow. People need to know our conversations.
Speaker 1Yes, no Twitter. No, that's good, that's good, that's good.
Speaker 2That's good. Or Snapchat. I do have Snapchat, but I think it's more of a personal thing, I don't think I.
Speaker 1Ah, you ain't in her circle yet.
Speaker 2Not yet. Not yet, yeah, but it's okay, we're friends still.
Speaker 1Oh, hell yeah.
Speaker 2With that being said, KOSudios, thank you for the lovely home. Rack your bike.
Speaker 1Thank you for the lovely vibe man, and with that I'm Chris, I'm Kaylee and we out this bitch Peace.
