Hoeflation, Sassy Men, and Zippy’s Mac Salad with Vicky

A cool studio, a hotter island, and a conversation that doesn’t flinch. We kick off with jokes about heat and Spam musubi, then Vicky takes us right into the heart of a marriage that never should’ve made it to the aisle—family pressure, fairytale scripts, and the quiet truth that commitment only works when two people are actually ready. From there we tear into modern dating: why “dumpster fire” might be generous, how ego and old-school gender roles still haunt good people, and what happens when a woman earns more but expects the same depth, security, and presence any healthy partnership demands.

We talk parenting that breaks cycles—explanations instead of fear, boundaries without humiliation, and showing a daughter how real care looks through consistent uncles and chosen family. Vicky lays down a clear bar for new partners: she doesn’t need a provider; she needs a steady, respectful presence who checks in, shows up, and models what a father’s love feels like. On co‑parenting, the line is firm: if someone won’t do right by their kid, being “cool” with them says more about you than them. Blood isn’t a lifetime pass; behavior is.

Then we get surgical about consent and expectations. Paying for a date doesn’t buy access; honesty buys clarity. If it’s casual, say it. If you want more, say that too. We laugh about Cheesecake Factory lists and snoring confessions, but the real gem is practical intimacy: clean bodies, kind feedback, and tact that turns awkward moments into connection instead of conflict. Call it a toolkit for grown folks—self‑preservation, straight talk, and the courage to stop selling dreams you won’t deliver.

If this hits, tap follow, share with a friend who needs the push, and leave a review telling us the toughest truth you learned about love. Your stories keep this community honest.

• marrying for the wrong reasons and pressure to “do the right thing”
• commitment without the ring and redefining roles at home
• dating post‑divorce and the gap in emotional maturity
• money, ego, and why security matters more than salary
• parenting with communication over fear and breaking cycles
• co‑parenting boundaries and respect as the baseline
• date expectations, consent, and paying vs entitlement
• bedroom talk: hygiene, feedback, tact, and mutual pleasure
• honesty over performance: stating intentions early
• self‑preservation as a loving boundary and letting go

Transcript

Welcome, Banter, And Hawaii Heat

SPEAKER_00 0:08

We're good. 54321. Welcome back to another episode of the Relationship Method Podcast. It's your boy Chris. And today I have my sister from the mainland. She's um a real estate agent. She is a mom. She is a property owner is one of Sonwa. She's an A31 local legend. Um man, give it up for oh, she owns Unicorn Real Estate, Realty, Real Estate. That's an alright intro. Hello, how's it going?

SPEAKER_03 1:00

I mean, you know, the intro is something else.

SPEAKER_00 1:03

I know, right? I only could get once, but it's okay. So, uh Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:10

Appreciate that.

SPEAKER_00 1:11

Appreciate that. So, Vicky, um, welcome to Hawaii. She's vacationing here and she's staying at Lomb uh De La Casa de Lomboy and shit. How's that? Uh how's Hawaii treating you so far, Vic?

SPEAKER_03 1:24

It's hot as shit.

SPEAKER_00 1:25

Oh my gosh. Yes, it is.

SPEAKER_03 1:27

Japan, hot as shit.

SPEAKER_00 1:29

Oh man. When I first got on the island, I couldn't handle the heat. I wanted to go back to Washington and all of this and the third. Mm-mm. Oh, did you? I did. Aren't you like lactose intolerant?

SPEAKER_03 1:43

It was it was dairy free.

SPEAKER_00 1:45

Dairy free, she says. Oh, remember my married.

SPEAKER_03 1:48

Looking out for you and the family.

SPEAKER_00 1:50

We have enough toilet paper. Cool. Yep. I have some dude wipes. Huh?

SPEAKER_03 1:55

I didn't. Costco?

SPEAKER_00 1:58

Oh, yeah. We gotta stop by Costco and shit. Yeah. We could cuss. So Vic, um explain to this people how did I get the yes, or how did this you come in on? How did this happen?

SPEAKER_03 2:15

I mean you said eventually I would need to jump on this. And that, you know, it made more sense for me to be in person. So you know, I oblige.

SPEAKER_00 2:29

Obliged? That's a great that's a great vocabulary word there.

SPEAKER_03 2:33

Thank you, you know.

SPEAKER_00 2:34

And you were one of the people that I before I started this whole project. You were the one of the first that was like, hey, can't do you think I could do this shit by myself? And well, yeah, like, oh yeah, how do I get over these topics? Yeah. What were you thinking when I f you know when I said, hey man, I'm finna start this podcast.

SPEAKER_03 2:54

But you talked a lot, you needed a channel. I have a lot of uh somewhere.

SPEAKER_00 3:03

I do need to channel it somewhere. And this is a great space. This is a great place.

SPEAKER_03 3:07

It's very cool.

SPEAKER_00 3:08

Is it?

SPEAKER_03 3:09

It's a very cool bathroom.

SPEAKER_00 3:11

Yeah, hey, shout out to KO Studios. Wheat man.

SPEAKER_03 3:14

You get a 10.

SPEAKER_00 3:15

Hey.

SPEAKER_03 3:17

Five star yellow. Yelp it, man. Yelp it.

SPEAKER_00 3:19

So I'm uh I'm a white. I'm in Hawaii.

SPEAKER_03 3:25

KO Studios bathroom.

SPEAKER_00 3:28

You know, the interior.

Why The Marriage Failed

SPEAKER_03 3:29

And that bathroom is magnificent.

SPEAKER_00 3:31

It's pristine.

SPEAKER_03 3:32

It's pristine.

SPEAKER_00 3:33

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 3:34

It is pristine.

SPEAKER_00 3:35

Is it really? Don't mind me looking back. I'm just looking at your sound levels, okay, while you're talking. So I'm not disrespecting you. I'm I'm I'm I'm making eye contact. Oh, you are. You're being visual. Ah, okay. So this episode, right? It's um it's a little off the wall. Because I know because Vic has a lot of things to get off her chest. So this yeah, this is this is like her moment to get things off her chest. So for starters, um, what is your status for people that are watching and listening? Are you like single? Are you mingling? Situationship? Are you like humping around? This and the third. I play the fifth. You play the fifth. Yeah, she's humping around.

SPEAKER_03 4:19

Dead ass. Um I enjoy my life, and that's all I can share at the time.

SPEAKER_00 4:25

Mm, okay.

SPEAKER_03 4:26

Mm-hmm. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 4:28

Cool. But yeah. Let me ask you this then, Vic. Because I was one of um, I was a groomsman in one of your in your wedding.

SPEAKER_03 4:37

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 4:38

Um why didn't that pan out? In uh just straight to in a summary? Yeah, summarize why didn't that marriage pan out?

SPEAKER_03 4:48

I think that um we got married for the wrong reasons. I think that um I looked at the fact that I was pleasing other people or or appeasing them uh because they wanted me to settle down. They wanted him to settle down or us to settle down. So I think ultimately that was the reason behind it was it just seemed like the right thing to do.

SPEAKER_01 5:19

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 5:20

But like looking back, um, you know, we just should have never taken it to that level. Um, I don't think either one of us was truly ready for that level of commitment and you know, should have just stayed friends.

SPEAKER_00 5:40

Could you have done it with uh living together and not get married? Could that happen and could would have would that have worked out better?

SPEAKER_03 5:48

Um, I'm okay with living with someone and not being married to them. I don't now feel that um marriage is really necessary. I think if you're truly committed to somebody, that's really all that matters. Uh the state being involved, you gotta pay to break up. There's all kinds of legalities. Um if you're committed, that's really what what it is. It's not the ring, it's not it's not a a wedding. It's just truly wanting to commit to that person.

SPEAKER_00 6:29

After your divorce, how long did it take you to get back on the playing field?

SPEAKER_03 6:34

Um I think because I was miserable for so long, and I stayed for like two years after I knew that I didn't want to be with him anymore. So um I'd say like I was trying to like get back out there. Um so I did, and you know, it didn't take very long before I ended up having my daughter. So then yeah, after that I just kind of stayed to myself for a few years.

Dating After Divorce Today

SPEAKER_00 7:13

You know what? Like we've been, you know, me and Tiff, aka the wife, we've been to your guys' place and we've never seen so you guys hit it very well. Like we didn't see static between y'all during that time. Maybe it was because when we saw y'all, it was like a the good times, right? Right. And we left when everything went down, right? Was that is that true? Like were we gone or were we still in California?

SPEAKER_03 7:42

It was hid hidden well. I think I'm not a I don't like to argue in public. Um I like to deal with my stuff at home and private, and so um it just kind of got to the point where I felt like I was walking on eggshells and I couldn't be myself, and I just don't feel like being around people who make me feel like that.

SPEAKER_00 8:14

And that's self-preservation, self-preservation you dig, you dig, so press self-preserving. Okay, so after this, years later, this happened, yada yada yada. How hard is it to like say date in this time and at the age that you are right now?

SPEAKER_03 8:35

Garbage.

SPEAKER_00 8:36

Garbage. Explain the thumpster fire. Yeah, why? Why why is it why is it so different now than it was before?

SPEAKER_03 8:47

I think the majority of men my age range uh lack uh depth, emotional maturity, they want the door open for them. Uh, it intimidates them if the woman makes more money or uh I don't know.

SPEAKER_00 9:11

Why do you think that is? Why do you think that men, not me, are are intimidated by like a successful woman that can't keep a conversation going, that don't have, you know, like the ingredients to be like a good man. Like what is it with these guys? Why do you think so?

SPEAKER_03 9:36

Just um oh shit. We're gonna go deep. I think it's a lack of security. They're insecure. They're insected of what? What's the what's their I don't know if you think if there is a you know a neglect that came from a childhood issue that makes them feel like, you know, they're gonna be abandoned, they're not enough. Um, and I think society and history have shown us like men are supposed to make the money and provide. So when the woman is doing it, um, and especially if men were like raised by their dads or their grandparents, and that you're supposed to be like the leader of the household and make the money and the breadwinner, and then they get in a in a relationship where they're not, they feel like maybe they failed their family, or they're not like a true man, and I don't see it like that. I feel like women can make more money, men can run the house. It like the it could it could work. Definitely can. Everyone has to bring something to the table though.

Masculinity, Money, And Insecurity

SPEAKER_00 10:47

It definitely can. Um, I've never been in a position where the woman, female, uh, um, they made more money than I did. So it's like I can't really attest to why guys are that way, but I wouldn't mind if my woman makes more because I would be happy to stay home. You feel me? It's an ego thing. Um when it comes to that shit. But you are right about like the the dad, the granddad, like being the man of the home. We are like rooted that way. Now a lot of men are like raised by their mama, so it's and then you get a sassy motherfucker.

SPEAKER_03 11:33

Yes. Don't get me started on the no. I mean it just gets you started. It's it's attitude. Like they have the men that men who who are raised by especially single mothers, they have a lot of attitude. They have a lot of attitude because cause not to say that you need to be tough and strong and not sh you know express your feelings or your emotions, but I feel like fathers kind of give that like you know, toughen up, yeah, you know, that that support, whereas mothers are a little bit more nurturing. So I don't know. I just in my experience, I find that, you know, men with mommy issues are very sassy.

SPEAKER_00 12:20

I have mommy issues. Am I sassy?

SPEAKER_03 12:24

You can be.

SPEAKER_00 12:25

I can be.

SPEAKER_03 12:26

But does it get to the point where you're self-aware, so there's a difference.

SPEAKER_00 12:29

I am self-aware. I am.

SPEAKER_03 12:31

Because you just said you have mommy issues. So you already know that you got it. Half these people don't even want to admit that they got problems.

SPEAKER_00 12:41

Oh. I've seen this TikTok, and I don't know if it's viral yet, but there was this guy at a McDonald's drive-thru, he returned um a cup of soda to this old lady that could be his like his grandma, his mom. And it's like, no, I said light ice. Light ice, this and the third. And it was a guy. And I was reading the comments, and a lot of these people in the comments, especially the woman, was going in on this guy. This guy was like a he was an African. Um, he he looked kinda flamboyant. Okay. So I don't wanna. I mean, it could be his just personality. He not my right, it might not be his like his sexual orientation, you know what I'm saying?

SPEAKER_03 13:28

Yeah, it doesn't matter. He was like that.

SPEAKER_00 13:31

Watching it was super cringy.

SPEAKER_03 13:33

Not to an older person.

SPEAKER_00 13:36

I don't know. Old enough to be your mom, and you're like, no, nice. Uh-uh. You got me fucked up. This and the third. I'm like, damn. Like, you ain't got no matter. Why do kids nowadays don't have like manners, mannerisms?

SPEAKER_03 13:49

Because they're not allowed, because we're not allowed to beat the ass.

SPEAKER_00 13:53

We're not allowed to be thrass. It's fucking tradition. It's not abuse, it's tradition. There's a there's a certain point where damn, I think I hit that motherfucker too hard. But then there's a point to where, okay, I think my point got across, therefore, I mean you should be the person who I haven't ever had it hit my kids.

SPEAKER_03 14:09

Oh, really? And she's respectful. I mean. Oh, I hit my I mean I don't really I don't Do you cause because I used to get hit with no explanation. So how am I knowing what I did wrong? I've explained things to her. She usually doesn't repeat it. Does she have issues with not listening? Yes, but it's not I don't got her ass to get my point across.

SPEAKER_00 14:38

Spanking and beating her ass is.

SPEAKER_03 14:39

That's part of breaking like a generational curse. Really? Because my both sides of family just believed in beating that ass. So beating that ass or spanking?

SPEAKER_00 14:50

Beating that ass. Okay. See, I think I spank. And then before, like Mila, that was a that was a beat ass. So I went from beating ass to spanking. But I don't know. I command I commend y'all parents that I can't.

SPEAKER_03 15:06

I've never.

SPEAKER_00 15:07

Yeah, I I give it up to y'all for that because I mean I'd be losing my I be losing my patience.

SPEAKER_03 15:12

I have told her she has me fucked up, but she had me fucked up.

SPEAKER_00 15:16

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 15:16

That's what it is. That's good. Santa's not real either, and I told her that too. I don't give a shit. You gotta keep it real with them. Yeah, keep yeah with the kids.

SPEAKER_00 15:25

Yeah, man. You're you're eating a life chicken, you know what I'm saying? You're eating chicken. You want a hamburger? You're eat you're eating fucking a cow there. You just passed by a cow. Keep it real.

SPEAKER_03 15:36

Moose moo.

SPEAKER_00 15:37

You know what I'm saying? But ah, but man, kids, how were you when you found out? Okay, from the time that your kid popped out till now, how are you? Like that this journey from infant to soon to be 10-year-old. Yay! That's why she's in Hawaii. Um, yeah, this journey from zero to ten, how was that for you? Like, have you ever looked back, reflected, and was like, damn, this motherfucker was sucking milk from my teeth.

Parenting Styles And Generational Cycles

SPEAKER_03 16:15

Um, I just feel like it still trips me out that God put me in a position to be a parent. Um I didn't expect to have this life. Um, I didn't uh anticipate doing it kind of solo, but we made it work. She seems to be happy, and you know, we're good. Um it was hard. It's been very hard.

SPEAKER_01 16:50

Yeah, you know, yeah, I do know it's hard.

SPEAKER_03 16:54

Um but I felt like we only have so many years, and then they go do their own thing. So I've had a good life, I've traveled a lot, I've seen a lot, I've done a lot. So if I have to settle down and focus on being a mom, because obviously this is what I was meant to be, and that's what we do.

SPEAKER_00 17:16

It is what you do, you know. How does your seed react to men coming in, maybe out of your life? Um or for the time being, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 17:35

I think when she was younger, she was more giddy about it, and I think now that she's getting older, she's kind of more she's just kind of seen me go through a lot. So I think she's more protective now. And um I think she has a desire to feel or to have uh more of a fulfilling experience of what it's like to have a dad. Yeah. So, you know, I think she really is observant and kind of like lightweight vits people, men who cut who m friends are not, but she'll be like, mm, like she's watching. I could tell she's watching. So before it was more like, oh mommy's friend, mommy's friend, and now she's more like, you know, I could tell she's paying attention. You know, are you gonna be good to my mom?

SPEAKER_01 18:30

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 18:31

Like she's she's trying to check the vibe.

SPEAKER_01 18:33

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 18:33

And I think it's kind of cool because the it sh it impacts her too.

SPEAKER_00 18:39

How is she with the uncles? As far as Oh man, just like the way you interact with us, the and the way, like, you know, our circle. You guys are how is she with with us?

SPEAKER_03 18:50

You guys are like part of the reason why she knows kind of like what uh a dad should be. You know what I'm saying? So it she has that example because she gets to see her uncles kind of like love on her and love on your guys' kids so that she sees like this is what it should be like. You know what I mean? Like she with me and you guys, I mean, she knows. She knows people who are my friends, and you know, I'm honest with her. If if there's somebody I like, I tell her, you know, so um I'm not quick to like just introduce people, but for the most part, I mean she'll be like, does anybody like you? Like, like you, like you? And I'm like, they all like me lyric. They all like me lyric. So, you know, it's been interesting to watch her um kind of change how she interacts with with people of uh of interest. Of interest? Now that she's getting older.

SPEAKER_01 19:57

Yeah?

SPEAKER_03 19:58

Yeah. She's probably gonna have a questionnaire. Polly, right? She's probably gonna go on Chat GPT and get like a questionnaire typed up, like, you know, are you man enough to date my mother? Uh-huh. Yeah. I wouldn't put it past her.

SPEAKER_00 20:12

Mmm.

SPEAKER_03 20:13

Yeah. I would like to see that questionnaire. Well, yeah, you know? That'd be sick. She'll be like, how much money do you make? How about do you like Disneyland?

Co‑Parenting Boundaries And Respect

SPEAKER_00 20:24

How about them toes? I'm like, nope, not these crusties. No way. She's a cute kid. Cute kid. Let's go to these questions. Broke the ice. We broke the ice. Did we break the ice? Are you ready? Hell yeah. You want to say something before we start these questions? You do you did have like one online and I only posted this like a couple hours ago, yeah? So this is the one. I'm not gonna say who it's from, but it says when your spouse slash partner is now like best friends with your baby mama or baby daddy. That's a topic. So I guess I'm getting the I'm getting the uh your spouse is like best friends with their baby daddy. Why would that be a problem? Would that be a problem or are you cool with that?

SPEAKER_03 21:26

Um because I've seen it. I probably wouldn't fuck with somebody who is cool with my baby daddy like that because if anyone knows my baby daddy, they ain't fucking with him like that. Not like somebody who of a quality person who has like a conscience ain't really down with that man. You know what I mean? Like they they couldn't get on my level because nobody's gonna respect him. He's not it's not a I I couldn't date somebody that was tight with him. But if he was a involved father, if he did what was right by his child and my significant other was cool with him, as long as there's no drama, I wouldn't care. Yeah. I'm I just like people to get along. So if everyone get along and everyone can hang out, cool. Um, but I think because our relationship specifically, we don't speak, yeah, he doesn't come around. So how awkward would it be for me to see him knowing that he doesn't do anything for his kid, but you over here kicking it in the house, like probably wouldn't fly. Because again, on my self-preservation, self-preservation have me feeling a lot of episode You can go, you can go to his house, you can go over there, but don't it's not we not co-mingling in that case. But if he was an active father, I wouldn't care. As long as there's respect there, I wouldn't care, but there's no respect. So you know.

SPEAKER_00 22:57

I could relate because I do not respect uh Tiffany's baby daddy, ex-husband, slash whomever. He's a Debbie. I you know what, I'm not gonna speak on his name, but But you wouldn't want to shake it. I'm not I'm not kidding I'm not I'm not kicking in with him. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 23:15

You don't respect him and then I couldn't respect somebody who who was really fucking with my ex like that. Yeah. Because he's not a good person, so why would you?

SPEAKER_00 23:24

Is it wrong if I lose some type of respect for the people that kicks it with him?

SPEAKER_03 23:31

Well, yeah, because it's like a you're like your character. Your character. Like I think in in the beginning when when Lyric was little, people he was feeding a story, people didn't know what to believe. And now as time has gone by, I don't need to dr I don't need to drag his name through the mud. People see what time it is with him.

SPEAKER_01 23:51

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 23:52

His own friends, you know, and that they're like, they've apologized. Like, we're sorry that we assumed you were the bad guy. I don't, you know, if your own friends who was down for you are kind of like, damn, we see what time it is. It's so I don't know. I I wouldn't, I I wouldn't want to be in that position. Not not based off of the circumstance.

SPEAKER_00 24:19

When uh when this situation happened on my end, uh this is when he was active on on the gram, right? So I know the people that be following him, this and the third, and a lot of my friends were like still kicking it with them and all that, and I had to like I didn't cut him off, but I had to like I had to ease back on that. Yeah. Because it's like, dog, you can't like my cousin was breakdancing with him, and I was like, dog, I can't kick it with you, man. Cause you're cool with him, and I hate this dude.

SPEAKER_03 24:56

Right.

SPEAKER_00 24:56

Yeah, you know, because like there's numerous atoms where you don't hate him because of anything petty.

SPEAKER_03 25:01

No, no, it's just because like I mean, not that you you mind or anything, but like you have to feel shoes because of the lack of his presence. So it's like I don't know. It's kind of like, damn, dude. I don't I I wouldn't I wouldn't I would distance myself from that too.

SPEAKER_00 25:26

Like I'm I didn't cut him off. Still talk to him, but it was more like weird behavior. How about the situation that I'm in right now, that you and I, because I told you my life update with a certain someone, this whole cutting off thing. Was that mature, mature of me to to give that back for cutting him off the way this person did me? Did us or could I have handled it a different way?

SPEAKER_03 26:02

I mean what did we talk about earlier? You could lead the horse to the water, but if the horse ain't thirsty, the horse is not gonna drink. And you gotta let people be. Um The law of detachment. It does not matter how hard you you try. If something is meant for you, it's either gonna it's gonna happen.

SPEAKER_01 26:28

Yeah.

Expectations On Dates And Consent

SPEAKER_03 26:29

And if not, you gotta be okay with that. Because people put effort and and they think they're doing what's right, and this is how it's the only way to make it work, and this is how it's gonna fix it, and we try, try, try, and we're unsuccessful sometimes, and that's okay. Because some people are not ready to deal. So you gotta set them free, let them go deal, and then you know, they can't. How hard is it? Look, my sister decided she didn't want to be a part of our family about 15 years ago. Yeah. I I I don't want to say begged and pleaded, but I really put myself out there and was very vulnerable with her to keep her around because I didn't want to lose the relationship. She was so upset with my parents. So I wanted her to centralize her anger and if if you're gonna take it out, take it out on them, right? So I know what it's like to have to distance myself, and I love and care very deeply for her and and her children, but I had to force myself to stop caring, and sometimes you have to do that in order to get on with your life because I was tired of questioning why, what I can do to fix it. It's that's not where my focus should have been. And and that's okay because I look at it like this. These are the siblings that you know I had no control over, I had no choice over. But then I have people like yourself who are, you know, uh a great replacement for a sibling, right? So it fuck them. If they don't want to be around, they don't want to, they they don't want to vibe, fuck them. You have your own family, you have your friends. We've created our own family. So fuck the ones who don't want to be around.

SPEAKER_00 28:32

Just because you're blood doesn't make you family.

SPEAKER_03 28:36

No.

SPEAKER_00 28:37

Fermery.

SPEAKER_03 28:37

Fermer Fermer. Fermer Fermer.

SPEAKER_00 28:40

Vin Diesel when you need 'em. Where where is Vin Diesel when you need him? Um, okay, here's here's a good one. Okay.

SPEAKER_03 28:51

Is it good?

SPEAKER_00 28:53

Is it good? I don't know. You tell me. You tell me. Okay, on a date, right? This is one of like the fifth question that on a date, as much as the man is spending, is he allowed to bust a nut?

SPEAKER_03 29:18

Is he allowed?

SPEAKER_00 29:19

Does that give him the you can bust a nut car.

SPEAKER_03 29:24

Okay. So at the end of the day, the day gonna end. No, um, I don't really care about how much you're spending. If I want to fuck you, I'm gonna fuck you. I don't think men should expect to fuck because they've spent a lot of money. To me, that's kind of broke behavior. If you ain't got it, if you're doing it for something in return, that's just weird. It's tough to not expect something. It's tough to to create uh an experience and to pay and and think you're Doing all this nice stuff, like get a clue. Some women just want to fucking get a meal out of you. This is true. So don't be a dummy. Don't splurge unless, like, you kind of vet the woman and you kind of see what she's down for. It shouldn't be an issue if you want to go to Cheesecake Factory. Are you talking about the list? I already know what I want to order. Let's go. Fuck that. Take me to McDonald's, girl. I'm cooking a McDonald's. I don't do the fast food shit, okay? I'm kind of bougie. Okay, so I fucks with Cheesecake Factory. I fucks with Cheesecake Factory. Olive Garden. I fucks with Zippy's. Hey. Let me let me get that Korean fried chicken cut.

SPEAKER_00 30:54

Hey, so I took, I took Vic to Zippy's. It's a uh it's a local restaurant here on the island, island of Hawaii. Um I don't need all that rice though, but thank you. She ordered uh this Korean fried chicken. Bomb. Did you have it with uh uh the mac salad? I did. Did you like the max salad? It was good. Didn't have enough raisins. Just joking. Sorry. It's because you're a white. But yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You have a culture cart. She's Filipino.

SPEAKER_03 31:26

But I don't identify as white, but thank you.

SPEAKER_00 31:30

Um before we get to the next question, tell them about 7-Eleven. Is 7-Eleven here bussing 7-Eleven on the mainland? I said yes. When I first came here, I was like, oh my god, this 7-Eleven is. So that's a yeah. Spam. Why is killing it? It was good.

unknown 31:53

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 31:54

But what did you call it? Pork cash?

SPEAKER_00 31:55

Pork cash. Yeah, it's dim sum. You call it dim sum? No, that's what it's called. Oh, it is? Didn't know. I don't I don't know. I didn't know what it was before I got here.

SPEAKER_03 32:06

On the main mainland, you know.

SPEAKER_00 32:08

It's called dim sum. I never had dim sum then. Until I got here then. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 32:14

When you come visit, I'll take you.

SPEAKER_00 32:16

You can take me some legit dim sum.

SPEAKER_03 32:17

Some pork cash. I was thinking it was some like THC infused pork. Oh god. Crazy. Crazy.

SPEAKER_00 32:26

You ever heard of this term? Hoflation?

SPEAKER_03 32:30

Yes. Ooh, okay. When you fucking around uh oh, humping for homes.

SPEAKER_00 32:35

No, no, no, no, no, no, no. So a hoeflation. A hoeflation, right? It's it's when people had so it's where grandparents had to work twice as hard to get the person that they want. Yeah, you know, that's like that's four times better than them than now, where people work four times hard to get a person twenty times worse. Oh. So people that don't know what I just said, can you break that down? Basically, right? Yeah. It's like yeah. Back in the day, people would work hard to get this type of person that's like, I'm gonna say out of their league, right? Well, okay, but now people are like dumbing down.

SPEAKER_03 33:19

Back in the day, women needed men to provide for them because they weren't allowed to vote or work. So now that we could do those things, we realize we don't really need the same things that we once needed. So men are going are we weren't allowed to do it. So once we were allowed to, and not saying all, but uh uh, you know, we do a good job at a lot of stuff, so it it's changed. The dynamic has changed, you know.

SPEAKER_00 33:47

It's do you think it changed in a positive way? Like, could it be where, of course, boss ass bitches are ruling the wall?

SPEAKER_03 33:58

I think if you want to be a stay-at-home wife and your significant other has the financial capacity to support that dream, then do it. But realistically, that's not what what it today's life is. So you're you probably got both people working full-time, if not more. Um so and and and we're settling because I mean, I don't know.

SPEAKER_00 34:28

Yeah, why do you think are people settling nowadays? I don't know. It's not I I don't like that shit.

SPEAKER_03 34:34

Because people just want to be loved. They want to be loved. They just want they want to be loved. So like they're just looking for the first thing that shows them love. And if your parents didn't love you correctly, you know, and you you don't know what real love is, you're gonna like attract the people who are like your parents and like you know, might love you via neglect or you know, just it yuck.

SPEAKER_00 35:01

Yuck.

SPEAKER_03 35:03

Hella yuck.

SPEAKER_00 35:04

Hella yuck. Hella yuck.

SPEAKER_03 35:06

So, you know, we attract the things until we we do the work to fix whatever is in us that needs to be healed. You know? I'm guilty of it too. I I would say that there's people out there that I've given a chance to that never deserved it. But you know, like I I see the good in people and I give everyone the benefit of the doubt. You get an A, and it's up to you if you pass or fail. You only fail if you did something fucked up, you know?

SPEAKER_00 35:45

This is gonna lead to the next question. Why do you think people start just uh people stop trying?

SPEAKER_03 35:51

In the relationship?

Labels, Intentions, And Honest Boundaries

SPEAKER_00 35:52

Yeah, or like or for like the person that they're trying to go after, why do you think they're like shit, I'm done? I I can't pursue that person anymore.

SPEAKER_03 36:07

Um I think a lot of people confuse uh being in a relationship. Um it's hard work, but it shouldn't be difficult to deal with this person. You shouldn't bicker all the time. It should flow, it should be natural. I think people again they look for love, they find someone they find that connection with, they vibe with, they rush into it, they don't really get to know the person, and then they realize like after like 60, 90 days, like, okay, this isn't fun anymore. I'm getting kind of bored here, or I'm tired of arguing or not feeling hurt or misunderstood, you know. So, and then people just give up because it's too much work. But if they would have done the work in the very beginning and got to know and asked the right questions and just get it out in the open. I've I've met several guys where we've had intense conversations in the very beginning, and now we know, like, hey, we're not gonna work out because you might want kids and I might I'm not having any more children, you know, or you may not want kids at all, and I got a kid, and and if for me to settle down with somebody, you're gonna have to want to take that role on. Like it's you know, there's no changing that up. You have to take on that role.

SPEAKER_00 37:30

Question with that, and um, I've had this question asked before. As a uh as a woman with a kid, if a man go comes into your life and you know wants to be with you, of course he's gonna have he's gonna have to have that relationship with your kid, right? Okay, so with that relationship, does he does he have to be like all in with the kid or can he just you know provide the the roof over the head, the food, the water, this and the third, and you know, like be respectful with the kid, but not be full in with her.

SPEAKER_03 38:09

I'm not looking for a financial contribution.

SPEAKER_00 38:12

Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_03 38:13

I can pay my shit on my own. It's like, can you show her what a dad is like? Uh-huh. That's really it is just be a guidance. Like, you know, if if she's dressed too inappropriate, be like, don't go out looking like that. You know what I mean? Like I think it's a respect thing to back me up in in what I've already implemented.

SPEAKER_00 38:39

Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_03 38:40

You know?

SPEAKER_00 38:40

So the guy doesn't really need to have that type of relationship with him, just show, I guess just show what a man really needs to be.

SPEAKER_03 38:49

I got her to feel loved. I want her to feel a father's love. I'm not gonna hold my breath that she's gonna get it from her dad.

SPEAKER_01 38:56

Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_03 38:57

Um, or anyone else, really. But it would be nice if she knew that there was a a father figure that had her back, that she could call for advice, you know, like, and you know, like, oh hey, my my tire, you know, can you know like no, but of course he would of course he would do that.

SPEAKER_00 39:18

I'm talking about like like say um, I'll I'll say the scenario. So the your daughter asks for help. He gives it out. He gives out his honest opinion. She has sports games or whatever. He's there. But let's say the whole like emotional part of it, like he's not emotionally there. He's just he's there to support, but he's just not you know, fully there. Like, let's say if of course, if she gets in a fight, he gots her back. But talking to her and everything, it's like, I'm gonna wait for her to talk to me. I'm not gonna try to make that conversation.

SPEAKER_03 39:55

I don't know. I would like I would like someone who would be more hands-on. Oh, okay. And maybe take the initiative. Even if it's just like, hey, are you doing okay? You don't gotta press the conversation. Yeah, I I guess that's what I meant.

SPEAKER_00 40:10

Like pressing.

SPEAKER_03 40:12

I care. I you know, this happened. Are you good? Because sometimes we just need somebody to check on us.

SPEAKER_01 40:19

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 40:19

They don't have to do, you know, go the extra mile. They just gotta sometimes just reach out and say, hey, you good?

SPEAKER_00 40:27

Yeah. Yeah. I like those. The you're good. I don't get a lot of those.

SPEAKER_03 40:33

I know. You good?

SPEAKER_00 40:35

Yeah, are you good? I'm always good.

unknown 40:38

Lies.

SPEAKER_00 40:40

It's a fucking lie. Question for you. This is uh this is from um a listener slash viewer. Would you tell your man or any man if the junk is stank?

SPEAKER_03 40:51

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 40:52

Yes? In public or would it be like, eh?

SPEAKER_03 40:55

I'm not disrespectful. I'd be like, babe, you gotta go scrub a dub dub, because it's why do you why do you think a person?

SPEAKER_00 41:04

Why do you think a person can't smell their own? I mean because I'd be like I don't know. I have a sensitive smell. So I could because when I use the bathroom, I'm like, oh man, I I gotta shower. And this is like, you know, like a sweaty day. I'm like, yeah, I can't I really can't do anything until I shower.

Humor, Shoutouts, And Closing

SPEAKER_03 41:26

I mean, I'm all for like random acts of kindness. Uh, but I mean, if you can shower, that'd be great. It I mean, uh it depends, I guess, what we're doing. Sometimes you get in a quickie and you don't really gotta do much. You just bing bing bing and then go shower. But yeah, if you know Would that turn you off in the bedroom? Expect me to be all up in your shit.

SPEAKER_00 41:51

And your shit is mm-mm.

SPEAKER_03 41:52

Yeah. If my face gotta be in it, like, please don't do that to me. Nobody likes that. Wash your ass.

SPEAKER_00 42:01

How are you with people with men that make too much noise in the bedroom? Does that turn you off? Are you done? Or is that one of those things where you're just like, mm, bring it on? Um, I don't like a noisy person.

SPEAKER_03 42:15

I don't like an excessively noisy person, but it you could talk me through it for sure. For sure. I take instruction very well. So that's fine.

SPEAKER_00 42:29

Um, okay, before you go, why do women take offense to, like, say a guy is um giving instruction to like when when it comes down to the deed giving instruction, why do women feel somewhat like the fuck? Like I don't know what I'm fucking doing. Isn't a third?

SPEAKER_03 42:51

Because that they probably feel like they cause they've never had probably constructive criticism. Uh-huh. You know?

SPEAKER_00 42:58

Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_03 42:59

It if someone told me to do something different, then I would do something different because everyone's different. So everyone's needs are different. Yeah. Um, some people might like um head and some might not. So it just everyone's different. Yeah. Everyone is different. Um and I just feel like you should be able to tell if you are fucking, you're literally exchanging body parts. You should be able to talk about, hey, this is what works for me, and this is what doesn't. I mean, uh-huh. It shouldn't be difficult. I think your tongue and your tact is everything. How you say it. Really?

SPEAKER_00 43:42

Like take notes.

SPEAKER_03 43:44

Yeah. How how you say it. Think about how you would want it said to you if it was you. Like, how could I how could I receive this information and not be offended? And then fucking say that.

SPEAKER_00 43:59

Really?

SPEAKER_03 43:59

I I mean I should take notes on this one.

SPEAKER_00 44:01

Uh huh.

SPEAKER_03 44:02

Because if you went in there and you was like, yo, your shit stank, nobody's gonna wanna hear it like that. But if you're like, baby, can we it's been a long day. Uh-huh. It's like w lead her to the shower. Wash her body. You know what I mean? Like initiatives. Do take the initiative. The initiative. You may not even know that she thought her shit was was whoa. She just thought you was being romantic and wanted to, like, you know, wash her back.

SPEAKER_00 44:33

Hmm. Interesting. Let me ask you this. Could you smash someone night before and hang out with them the next day?

SPEAKER_03 44:43

The same person?

SPEAKER_00 44:45

Yeah. Yeah, why not? Huh. Okay. There's been times where I've done that and I didn't want to hang out with them next day. Does that make me a rude person? Does that make the person a rude person?

SPEAKER_03 44:57

Okay, let me rephrase. If it they don't annoy me and they weren't whack in bed, I'll kick it.

SPEAKER_01 45:04

You'll kick it?

SPEAKER_03 45:05

Like if they're cool. Yeah, like if they're cool people, I'll kick it. But if if I'm not feeling it, no. Self-preservation.

SPEAKER_00 45:14

Self-preservation.

SPEAKER_03 45:15

It's brought to you by self-preservation.

SPEAKER_00 45:17

Okay. Because there's a lot of guys that I know, and some females that they would hit it, and then the next morning it's like, okay, you gotta go. Or and this is not like, oh, but you don't want it. The person the other person would be like, oh, you don't want to hang out? It's like, no. You gotta go. Thank you. Wham bam. Like all they needed was just all they wanted to do is just bust it out. I'm how would you take it if I mean if what someone said, I gotta go? No, like like say you you did the deed last um the night prior. Next morning it's more like, okay, uh, you gotta go. I might already be out. But what if you what but what if you weren't out?

SPEAKER_03 45:59

It's now you're I gotta, you know, comfortable and someone's like, hey, I gotta, what do you it's the always the so what are you doing to or what do you or you know what you got going on today or something like that? They always I always feel like that's like a uh that's like a push them out, huh? You know, like what are your plans for the day?

SPEAKER_00 46:19

Because you gotta get the fuck on. Uh-huh. Yeah. Has anyone not take the hit and you're just like, dude, you gotta go? Has that ever happened to you? Um, yes. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 46:32

And I'm busy, so I would just be like, okay, well, I gotta start getting ready and go handle my business, so you know.

SPEAKER_00 46:41

I've done the whole It was great. I'm dressed, like before that person wakes up, I'm already dressed, and I'm like, hey, um, I gotta leave. And then scoot on out.

SPEAKER_03 46:52

Well, I don't know if I wanna rush anybody off, but yeah, I definitely I don't know, but like I'm also okay if you wanted to not stay too.

SPEAKER_00 47:02

Hell no, no way. I'm not letting you stay in my spot so you can roam around.

SPEAKER_03 47:07

Nah, I'm not saying that. I'm saying like if you wanted to hit it and then get the fuck on, so because I'm gonna go to sleep. And if you snore, I'm I'd be snoring.

SPEAKER_00 47:18

He does snore. I be snoring, I'd be cutting logs, train treks, and all. I heard that. I don't know. I've been trying to get it fixed. Everything I've been doing hasn't been working. I'm supposed to get this machine, but I don't want to use that machine. I don't want that CPAP, but in order for to get my VA, I might have to fuck with that VA. But nah man, I don't want like machine blowing shit in my, you know, so I'll just be like, hey.

SPEAKER_03 47:49

Just you know, take the risk of the stuff.

SPEAKER_00 47:50

Yeah, I tell people I was like, hey, you better get yours because I'm finna I'm gonna get mine regardless. So yeah, I feel bad for my folks, man. Like, especially when I'm like in the field around the boys, and sometimes I'm in the barracks with like it's co-ed, you know, like women with you know, women on this side, guys on this side, but we're all in the same building.

SPEAKER_03 48:12

Right.

SPEAKER_00 48:13

And we're all sleeping and shit. Oh yeah, I'm snoring up a shit. I don't care. I tell people, it's a respect thing, right? Yeah, I tell them I was like, hey, get yours because I'm gonna get mine. I snore. That information, whatever you do with it, fucking handle it. Put some AirPods in. I don't give a fuck. I'm gonna get mine. Right?

SPEAKER_03 48:32

I would take one for the team and suffocate you.

SPEAKER_00 48:35

Nah, man.

SPEAKER_03 48:37

We're all getting sleep.

SPEAKER_00 48:38

You're gonna have I'm getting you're gonna have forever sleep. I don't care. Women snore too, though.

SPEAKER_03 48:45

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 48:46

Women snore too. They do. And I live with that shit. And it's okay. And we poop too. That's crazy. Yeah, y'all poop. Yeah. We poop. Yeah. Same whole too. Wild. It's fucking wild, man. Here's another one. Um, do do do.

SPEAKER_03 49:03

Another one.

SPEAKER_00 49:05

No, that's not. We already talked about that.

SPEAKER_03 49:08

Let's talk about DJ Khaled not eating pussy. You see that girl? She was like, but he eats everything else.

SPEAKER_00 49:16

Oh, I know. Oh fucking. Make it make sense. Make it make sense. There's a good one. Ever wanted to try the dick, right? And then by trying the dick, you ended up meeting the whole family. Yes. How was that like? Was it toxic. Narcissistic. Yeah? Zero stars. Zero stars. I do not recommend. Um, let's see. Have I'm trying to remember if I've ever done it. Have I smashed someone and have them met the Nope! I don't think I've done it. I have been invited to meet someone's parents. Or no, someone's family, but I flaked out. I was busy. Because I wasn't ready. All I wanted to do was just do the do. I made it some bullshit lie. But I was working.

SPEAKER_03 50:06

And clear about their intentions.

unknown 50:09

Kind of.

SPEAKER_00 50:09

Then it's okay?

SPEAKER_03 50:11

I it no, I'm saying it would like eliminate a lot of miscommunication.

SPEAKER_00 50:18

So communication is pretty much key. You know what? We had this, I had this conversation in my last last podcast. Communication is good.

SPEAKER_03 50:25

It's communication is not the key.

SPEAKER_00 50:27

It's comprehension.

SPEAKER_03 50:29

No, no, no. It's not that. It's consuming the info. It's being honest. Because you can communicate a lie. It's being honest about it's just honest about your intentions. I don't want to have a relationship. I just want to hook up and have a good time. And just say that because there's women out there that would enjoy the same thing. Not all of us want a fucking knight in shining armor. It's not all of us want that. So just be honest about what you want, and you probably would get more if you would just keep it real.

SPEAKER_00 51:11

Wow. That's I've heard that before.

SPEAKER_03 51:14

Stop selling a dream. You can't even fucking, you can't even, you can't even do anything you're saying, just shut up and be like, I just want to hit it. Okay, cool. Me too. Sold.

SPEAKER_00 51:30

It it it's really has that line ever happened like have from a woman, have you ever said that and Yeah, I mean when I was younger. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 51:40

If I'm in a if if I'm in a period of my life where I don't want to be in a relationship and I just want to be casual things, I will state that because men have feelings too. And I am a fucking package, so they gonna get them feelings, okay? And I'm not here to hurt nobody. I got trends. So I don't, I'm not, I'm just gonna be real about what it is. Has a man ever said that to you?

SPEAKER_00 52:09

Like, hey Vic. Yeah. I just want to hit it. Yeah. Are you still in communications with men more?

SPEAKER_03 52:18

Recently, I had somebody like basically tell me, like, oh, by the way, like, I'm talking with somebody. I'm like, thank you for letting me know. Like, and they they didn't even have to tell me that. You know what I'm saying? Like, it it wasn't even anything, like, we weren't even trying to get together like that. It was just an honest conversation. You know? Yeah. Like, hey, if I'm ever in the area, I'll come see you. Oh, by the way, just so you know, I'm talking to somebody. Great. Thank you for letting me know. Like, so you have the I have more respect. I will be your friend. Uh-huh. Otherwise, you know, I don't really give a fuck about you. If you can't keep it real with me, I don't, I really have no time for you. None like that. You're wasting my time. You're a liability. Stop it. A liability. Keep it real. Like, you know what I mean? Keep it real. Keep it real.

SPEAKER_00 53:13

Keep it real, bitch.

SPEAKER_03 53:15

Yeah, bitch.

SPEAKER_00 53:16

Yeah, bitch. Doesn't it feel good?

SPEAKER_03 53:18

This is my favorite word. Bitch.

SPEAKER_00 53:21

Anyway. Good, girl. That was fun. It went fast, huh? That was like hot damn 50 some odd minutes.

SPEAKER_03 53:31

I mean, I wasn't surprised. We could talk.

SPEAKER_00 53:33

I know. Did it feel long? This is your first podcast, yeah?

SPEAKER_03 53:37

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 53:42

Do you have any shadows or anything? Or where can these people find you at?

SPEAKER_03 53:46

At Unicorn Vic. Spell it. U-N-I-C-O-R-N-V-I-K.

SPEAKER_00 53:54

P-I-M-P-I-L-G.

SPEAKER_03 53:56

I'm a pimp. I teach classes. DM me for a special promo.

SPEAKER_00 54:03

Um, mention my name, get real, get 50% off for this promo. And we'll be great.

SPEAKER_03 54:12

One deal. Buy me, get him free.

SPEAKER_00 54:16

Yeah, get me. Yep. Yeah. Snoring and everything. Yes. KO Studios, thank you for the lovely home. Raffi Body. Thanks for the lovely vibe, man. And with that being said, I'm Chris.

SPEAKER_03 54:27

I'm Vicky.

SPEAKER_00 54:28

And we out this bitch. Peace.