The REALationship Method
The REALationship Method is a comedic podcast about dating, relationships, and advice, blending tips with plenty of tangents. With stories and experiences shared by the cast and guests, it offers cautionary tales to help you avoid making the same mistakes. So sit back, relax, and maybe learn a thing or ten!
The REALationship Method
Why Good Men Aren’t Gone, Labels, Lies & the Places We Find Ourselves with Kea
What makes someone “from” a place, and what belongs to blood, lineage, and lived experience? We bring that question home with Kea, who grew up in Hawaii, chased opportunity in Texas, and built a marketing career that runs on clarity, guts, and well-earned access. From island casual to mainland dress codes, rice cookers to nightclub NDAs, this conversation is a guided tour through identity, ambition, and the spaces where we decide who we are.
We get real about dating standards without the drama. Kea lays out why “all the good men are taken” is a myth and how to look where your values live—gyms, book clubs, community spaces—by showing up consistently. We talk transparency with exes, when to speak up, when to keep walking, and why sneaky links are a symptom of unmet needs rather than a solution. On the big question—can WAP save a marriage—Kea doesn’t flinch: great sex without trust and communication just makes you roommates with chemistry.
Beyond relationships, we dig into habits, books, and the underrated power of handwriting. Kea shares how writing things down improves memory, why she still writes letters in cursive, and how small, steady rituals build a life that holds. There’s humor too—calling out fad toys, plotting prank-filled wills, and laughing about crowded rooms—because self-awareness is lighter when you let it breathe. Her final confession might be your new safety protocol: run background checks, know who you’re dating, and protect your peace.
If this resonates, tap follow, share with a friend who needs straighter lines and softer landings, and leave a review to help more listeners find the show. Your support helps us keep these real, useful conversations coming.
• local identity vs Hawaiian ethnicity
• raising kids with multiple cultures
• moving for opportunity and entrepreneurship
• island casual vs mainland dress codes
• anxiety, safety, and crowded spaces
• NDAs, networking, and building social proof
• where to meet value-aligned partners
• boundaries with exes and transparency rules
• sneaky links, red flags, and respect
• why WAP won’t fix broken communication
• habits, books, memory, and handwriting
• Kea’s confession about background checks
Yes.
SPEAKER_03:Welcome to another episode of the Relationship Method Podcast. It's your boy Chris. Thank you again for coming on, listening, watching, and this and the third. Today I have she flew in from the mainland, Texas. Oh my gosh. To here. She came here. Not to see me, but I'm just saying, you know, I was like squeezed in her schedule. She works in business. She's a CEO, marketing as well, self-taught. Mm-mm. I got Ka on this bitch. Yay!
SPEAKER_04:Hey you guys.
SPEAKER_03:Hello. How are you?
SPEAKER_04:Hey, I'm good. Thank you so much for having me.
SPEAKER_03:No, I well, you know what? Let me take back the no. I acknowledge that. So thank you.
SPEAKER_04:Absolutely.
SPEAKER_03:Absolutely. So freaking Louis. Uh before we get this going, um, can I ask you, how did I get the yes from Kaea?
SPEAKER_04:The yes, okay. So you Is it Kea, right? Kea, yeah. Okay, okay, go. No, no, no, it's phonetic. Oh my god, a brain fire. Okay, Kea, you're great. No, um, you got the yes because I feel like you entered my DMs very appropriately. You know what I mean? You gave full detail on everything that was to come, and I was like, absolutely okay.
SPEAKER_03:Really? What is the wrong way in asking to get you on to something similar to this? Um, there's gotta be like a wrong way.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah, there's a wrong way. So I I champion clarity. So the wrong way to get me onto a podcast is just saying, Hey, I'd love to have you on my podcast, and like just that being the one sentence.
SPEAKER_02:Oh.
SPEAKER_04:There being no detail, there are no like at what your podcast is to give me more information. So it's very short and I feel like disgenuine. Yeah, that's an um, it's a no for me.
SPEAKER_03:Really? Has that ever happened before?
SPEAKER_04:Yes.
SPEAKER_03:Oh, well, oh man. Thank you to short and concise sentences, and also thank you, Chat GPT, for hooking it up. Okay, you know, you know, you know what I'm saying? Um, what made you fly out to um to Hawaii?
SPEAKER_04:Um, so uh Is it really your birthday? It's my birthday on Tuesday. Oh, happy born day. Thank you. My birthday is on Tuesday. Um, I decided to come back out to Hawaii because this is where I was raised for the majority of my entire life. And so I wanted to come back and see friends and family.
SPEAKER_03:That's cool. And um, is it wrong to ask your age?
SPEAKER_04:Or no, I mean, like they say it's wrong to ask age, but I don't I really don't care. Um so I'm turning 34 on Tuesday.
SPEAKER_03:34, really? Wow. I thought it was she was in like you know, mid-20s or whatnot.
SPEAKER_04:Yes, I'm actually.
SPEAKER_03:No, no, I'm not trying to kiss your ass or anything.
SPEAKER_02:You know, oh 27? Oh, okay.
SPEAKER_03:Okay. And um, you said um Hawaii, right? So I have a child that's born here. I mean, yeah, she's born here, but she's not like I understand. And I also have another since I'm in the military, I have a kid that was born in Washington, but he's like, this is what he knows, Hawaii, right? Yeah. Are they considered, and also you, I'm asking you too, like Hawaiian. Like, are you a are you considered a local or are you considered, you know, like uh I would, you know, you know, that whole yeah.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah, absolutely. Like, I would never say I'm I'm not considered Hawaiian. I think if you're Hawaiian, like you're you know, Kanaka, you have to have of blood, of blood.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah. Um can do I tell people I'm from Hawaii? Yeah. Absolutely. When people people ask me that in the mainland all the time, you would have no idea. They say, okay, oh, you're you're from Hawaii, so you're Hawaiian, right? I'm like, no, I'm I'm not Hawaiian. Like Hawaiian at heart for sure, like sure. But like, no, I'm not Hawaiian. But and your kids, I would say, even born here, if they're if they're not Hawaiian, I would say maybe they're they're local or they're they're from Hawaii. Yeah.
SPEAKER_02:Okay.
SPEAKER_04:I would always say I'm from Hawaii, like forever and ever. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
SPEAKER_03:Hey, um, so if you hear that little whisper in the background, it's Crystal, it's Keya's sister. So she she'll she's gonna be popping here and there. And I'll I'll boost up your volume. Still worry with that. I got you. So um my my nine-year-old, he's really keen in saying, Oh, I'm born in Washington, but I'm raised here. He's been saying that a lot. So I'm just like, oh man, you are smart as heck. Yeah. Because it's you know, instead of saying, Oh, I'm I'm Filipino, and uh, and uh I think I'm born in Washington, I'm raised in Hawaii, but I am Filipino. Like she says those three sentences. I'm like, dang, what are they teaching you?
SPEAKER_04:I think that's awesome. No, right? Yeah, that is awesome that she has that she's able to have that complex thought and to understand fully, you know, these are the things that make up me. I was born in Washington, I'm you know, raised in Hawaii, I'm Filipino.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah. I have a question, uh, and one of my bosses asked me this how do you explain like one's culture? So um his kid asked him this question, he was having a real hard time answering it because they're Filipino, but his child, and I think she's like nine or ten, um, is she doesn't know anything about her Filipino roots or anything, but she grew up Hawaii, you know, like in Hawaii. So she's you know, she's done Mayday, she's done all these other other um like Hawaiian traditions. How do you answer that? Like what's call what is her culture? What would be her culture? I Because I couldn't answer that for the life of me.
SPEAKER_04:So it's I feel like there's a catch-22 there. It kind of belongs, it's it's on the parents as well, I feel like to make sure that you still instill those different types of Filipino culture in your kids. Yeah. You know, and I and I don't know what her parents have done. I think they've done a wonderful job, but um, I do know what you're around and what surrounds you is probably going to form what your culture is in your brain. That's what I would think. Because even for me, I go when I moved to the mainland, it was it was so weird. When I moved to the mainland, it was so weird because everybody was just questioning certain things like I have a rice cooker, I eat rice every day, like I just have rice in the pot every day, and that was that's just not a common mainland thing. So I think that your culture is kind of formed around maybe the environment that you're around the most. But I mean, if we're thinking culturally like background-wise, you know, she is Filipino. I think it just takes you know more exploration of that side.
SPEAKER_03:All right, you know what? Y'all teachers need to stop asking these complex questions to these nine, 10-year-olds, because I would have been like, hey, just say you're Filipino. That's why I mean that's I don't know that answer, you know, like what is culturally appropriate, you know, like well.
SPEAKER_04:I feel like if she were to say, Well, I'm Filipino, that puts her in a box of oh well, she is just Filipino, which she is, but also that it yeah, it makes people like not assume that she knows what she's talking about if she were to speak on something. So if I go to the mainland and I tell people like, oh, I'm you know, I'm black, and they say, and I try to weigh in on a conversation about Hawaii or Hawaii politics or something like that, they assume like, oh, you don't know, you're black, you're not you know, born or raised or from Hawaii, and they don't know that without context. So for her to just say like I'm Filipino, nobody would understand the context of, but I was raised in Hawaii.
SPEAKER_03:Huh. That's a ver.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
SPEAKER_03:Oh, mm-mm. That's a great educated answer.
SPEAKER_00:Thank you.
SPEAKER_03:You know, huh? That's right. And you said uh on the mainland, you you're at a place where they don't know what rice cookers were. What what place were you?
SPEAKER_04:In Texas, not everybody has a rice cooker. Like it's like, no, not every oh my gosh, they make rice in the pot. They make rice in the pot.
SPEAKER_03:Uh-huh.
SPEAKER_04:And yeah, I don't even know what I don't know.
SPEAKER_03:How do you even do that? I like I've because you know, in the military, we've tried doing that in you know, in the field.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah.
SPEAKER_03:When we don't have electricity and stuff.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah.
SPEAKER_03:And um, our rice doesn't come out that great.
SPEAKER_04:I genuinely don't I genuinely don't know how to make rice without a rice cooker. I'm I'm ashamed to say it, but I genuinely don't know how to do it.
SPEAKER_03:That's okay, me too. It's it's it's all good. Do you use the finger thing? The the line?
SPEAKER_04:Or okay, that's the real that's people use the line, and I know that's the real way, but I still use the measuring cup. I don't care.
SPEAKER_03:Uh-huh.
SPEAKER_04:I don't care. I still use the rice.
SPEAKER_03:So does your rice come out good every time when you use the measuring cup?
SPEAKER_04:Yeah, every single time.
SPEAKER_03:Every time?
SPEAKER_04:Every time. I've never made a bad pot of rice. Okay, maybe once like in high school or something, but okay.
SPEAKER_03:And your rice, does it last, like say a day, two days after? Is it still good or good?
SPEAKER_04:Yeah. Oh, I'm not one of those people that I you know how people are like, oh, it's one day old, like throw it away.
SPEAKER_03:And then throw it away. Oh, yeah.
SPEAKER_04:Fried rice is made best with rice that is a day old, first of all. And then after that, like you can keep your rice for like four days, right?
SPEAKER_03:Oh, this is facts.
SPEAKER_00:Five days? Yeah.
SPEAKER_03:This is facts. Oh my gosh. Getting hungry. Girl, so you you're here in Hawaii. What made you like dip out?
SPEAKER_04:What was like the so my mom ended up going to when we're right, so she had this job. She had a job at the Pentagon.
SPEAKER_01:Okay.
SPEAKER_04:And she kept telling me, you know, there's so much more opportunity in the mainland. You should really come to the mainland. I, you know, tried the mainland once when I was in 12th grade when we went moved over there. Uh, I spent one year in college at UNC Charlotte over there. I hated it, I hated everything about it. Came back to Hawaii and stayed there for a few. Um, and then I realized that my mom was right. I hate saying that, but my mom was right. There wasn't, there was just more opportunity in the mainland. Yeah. I was able to expand my thoughts on things that I wanted to do. I had never even heard of the word entrepreneurship before I moved to the mainland. I mean, I just, or maybe I just didn't know friends that are entrepreneurs. I don't know. It just never occurred to me. And um, yeah, and that's what made me want to take a shift is that I, you know, I decided I wanted something more.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah. Like that, and I told you it was a it was a sign. I saw this magazine, I swear on everything. I saw this magazine that was on the floor, I went to pick it up so I could throw it away, opened it up, and it said Austin, Texas, best place to start over. And I was like, okay. I and yeah, I yeah, let's go.
SPEAKER_03:As a Hawaiian in Texas, um, how's the island community? Like the is it is it as big as it is in um in Vegas?
SPEAKER_04:No.
SPEAKER_03:No.
SPEAKER_04:Um, there's a Polynesian community in Kaleen, Texas. Um, they even have like a Polynesian church. Um they built an L in San Antonio, Texas. How's that? No, no, no.
SPEAKER_00:No, okay.
SPEAKER_04:No, I don't know what they were trying to do with that, but um, but there is a small Polynesian community in um in Killen, Texas. I've met a couple of Polynesians, shout out my cousin Kaila'a. I've met a couple of Polynesians in Houston, Texas, in Austin, Texas. Um but yeah, it's not very, it's not very many.
SPEAKER_03:Really? Is uh do they have like the festivals as well, like an Aloha Fest in Texas?
SPEAKER_04:No.
SPEAKER_03:No.
SPEAKER_04:One time the Green came to perform in San Antonio, Texas.
SPEAKER_03:Was the turnout? Did you go?
SPEAKER_04:Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_03:Was the turnout turnout good?
SPEAKER_04:The turnout was great. I didn't know how many people knew the green, but like the turnout was really great. Um yeah, no, there was like um there's a lot of Polynesian people. Yeah, a lot of Polynesian people, and I feel like a lot of Mexican people.
SPEAKER_03:Really? Yeah. Do you like being in crowds like that? Like like the concert crowd or like just packed?
SPEAKER_04:I feel like I can survive in any environment.
SPEAKER_03:Really?
SPEAKER_04:Yeah. So I yeah, I'm like, if if it's a a concert crowd, I'm like, okay, let's go, let's turn up. I got it. Yeah.
SPEAKER_03:I envy you because like the older I got, because the last concert I went out here was um Lauren Hill was out here. Oh wow. It was like back in like 2019, 2020. Wow, okay. So it was like I love the crowd because I didn't see that many Hawaiians. It was it was more different. It was more different. So um, but after that, there was like, you know, like these little bars, these little things, right? That when that Lauren Hill concert happened, I I was like, um, I was okay, but it was super crowded. So like I felt kind of off. Now I'm going to these bars and and like um these clubs out here. Yeah, I freaking hate it. I'm just like, what the fuck? Like, what am I? I think it's because I'm getting older, but I don't like myself in that, especially if I'm like sober. Oh my gosh, looking back, I'm like, am I like was I like this? I think that's like oh yeah. So me and when me and my wife went, you know, like clubbing or to these bars, because she would want to go, and I'm like, oh okay, I'll go. You know, support. And then she's like, Are you having a good time? I was like, I'm okay. Yeah, but it's just I get so much anxiety, like being in there. Has that ever happened to you?
SPEAKER_04:I feel like uh I it does happen to me. So back in Texas, I work with a lot of artists, uh like musicians, rappers, and singers and things like that for marketing. And we will go into instances where there's we're going to a performance or we're going somewhere, and there's just like a lot of people. One of my artists, Jay Soldier, he recently got off of tour with currency. And at one of the shows, I felt like that at one of the tour stops, it was just a whole crowd of people, and we had to be like shuffled through and find our way on stage. And I was just like, man, there's a lot of people here. And I feel like I just wasn't ready for it at that moment.
SPEAKER_01:Uh-huh.
SPEAKER_04:But if I know ahead of time, preemptively, like, we're about to go to a concert, a rave, a club, there's gonna be hella people in here. Yeah, okay, let me get ready then. Ooh, girl. I mean, I just gotta I just gotta cycle.
SPEAKER_03:Rave, you are super.
SPEAKER_04:Give me 30 minutes.
SPEAKER_03:Because I um I think what stemmed from me like being so anxious with a lot of people is because I used to go rave to raves a lot, especially in San Francisco. Yeah. And there was an article, and it was like this thing where someone was going around raves poking people with the HIV vibe. So that's that's what got me was like, dude, I can't be around so many people, like, especially like when they're nearby, like if I'm shoulder to shoulder and they're like behind me, like if you're in the moment, you're not gonna feel you know that that that poke. So it's like Yeah, so I think that's that story, and because people was coming out saying, Yo, I have HIV, I don't know how, I'm you know, I'm safe, and they're like, yo, you got pricked. I think that's what got me like super scared and being surrounded with you know people that I just don't know.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah, so that yeah, that really I changed my stance on it now. Right?
SPEAKER_03:No, it's it's crazy because I didn't know it was a thing until that story blew up. Yeah. Because um, I'm from Central California, the Monterey Bay. That's two hours away from Frisco, but once that hit Monterey, a lot of us kids just didn't want to like go to Raves anymore. We just wanted to stay in our own little community and started a rave, you know, like have parties there.
SPEAKER_04:And I think that that's the thing too. I think it is about community. So not that it can't happen, but if I'm somewhere, like if I'm somewhere I know, like if I'm in Hawaii or like old like play bar waikiki, right? Like if I'm back in those times, if I'm there, I'm I'm not worried about it. And I think I'm not worried about it because I feel safe in my community and I feel like I know it. If I were somewhere out and I'm like, oh, we're partying in Miami, I'd probably be a little nervous. I'd probably be a little more on guard in Miami. Yeah. Yeah.
SPEAKER_03:So what's the difference between like the scenes out there on the mainland? Because I I could only imagine since you're surrounded with these high profile people compared to out here in Hawaii. Like if if, like, say you know, one of your people, like J Trey Songs.
SPEAKER_00:Right.
SPEAKER_03:A party of Tray Songs over there on the mainland, a party compared to Hawaii with the locals.
SPEAKER_04:Oh god. Um, it's very different. Yeah. I would say so. Yeah, um, even like when we booked uh Tray Songs that one year, and even when there was like this after party, the clothing is very different. Like I would say, you just can't buy anything off of Shein and think that you're gonna like go to Tray Song's after party, Chris Brown's birthday party, or anything like that. Not that I would let me get my invitation. I'm going shopping at the most high-end place I can find. But I feel like the main difference is in Hawaii, I feel like we don't not like we don't care. It's just that you know, you dress up super cute, whatever, and just go out. Like it's yeah, it's like casual.
SPEAKER_03:Super cash, yeah.
SPEAKER_04:I feel like there are more there are more clubs over there in the mainland that is have dress code like restrictions and whatnot. Even in the domain in Austin, Texas, there's um Rose Room. It has like a dress code restriction. And I was like, wow, okay, I've never been somewhere where there's a dress code. So girl.
SPEAKER_03:Mm-mm-mm. Have you ever got have you ever signed an NDA?
SPEAKER_04:Yeah, plenty of times, yeah.
SPEAKER_03:Oh, okay. Um, funny story, Taiga was out here, and I had the opportunity in in like um hosting one of his club scenes, right? And one of his concerts. And the after party, I had to sign an NDA. First time ever. And I was like, okay. I thought, you know, this is I guess during the Diddy thing, like when Diddy was like, so I was like, oh man, I don't know what I got myself into. So I signed one. I went to a uh a Tiger thing. I don't smoke or anything. I don't drink as much because you know, I'm driving home or whatnot. So I ended up playing PlayStation with one of his boys. I mean, it was cool, like because you know, he had women over. He, you know, it was like it was it was cracking.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah.
SPEAKER_03:But you know, I'm married, I try to stay away from that because you love that. We get it, we will get in trouble. Yep, you know, small island, it'll get, you know, news word will get around fast. But yeah, so that was my very first time signing an NDA, like, and people don't believe me that I was there, and I was like, damn it, I was though, man. Like, how do you like how do you it's like how do you uh has that ever happened to you where like people just don't believe, like, oh man, you work with Trace Songs? You a line. Show me proof.
SPEAKER_04:Actually, I have picture proof that I was at the Trace Songs. Yeah, I was like, wait a minute. I was like, there's certain things, and like I have picture proof, but then there's other things. If I know I had to sign an NDA for it, and I can't tell you any details about whatever Elon Musk's party, super cool, like high-tech, like South by Southwest party, I don't care. At that point, it's like it's one of these things where it's like, I know I don't have social proof, so maybe it maybe it didn't happen, but also like I know it happened.
SPEAKER_02:Hey, hell yeah.
SPEAKER_04:Like I I know it happened. Oh and also because any any com any situation that I come out of where I have to sign an NDA, that tells me that there's high-profile people there. If there are high profile people out there, I am walking out of that room with at least three or four networks.
SPEAKER_03:Oh yeah. Yes. I'm walking out of that room. That's what happened to me, yeah. That's what happened to me, and that's how I like got rolling with what I'm doing. Oh my gosh.
SPEAKER_04:I told you, I'm never there's always going to be proof that I was there in that room. I'm walking out of there with like contacts. Yeah.
SPEAKER_03:Oh girl, go ahead. Get down, go ahead. Let's get you these questions. All right, first one is do do to do to do. Um all right. This is our first one. Why does it seem like the good men are taken? Am I looking in the wrong places? This is a question from uh yeah.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah. Okay. Why does it seem like the good men are taken? You know what? I feel like it's not that all of the good men are taken. I feel like we're it's it is a little bit of some people not looking in the right place because I was gonna say that. Yeah, it is a little bit of that. Because if you think you're gonna go to a nightclub and find a good man, is a good man always in the nightclub? I don't know, I don't know.
SPEAKER_03:Like maybe working at a nightclub? You know, like maybe no, he just has a job.
SPEAKER_04:He has a job. Yeah, like that's his job, like maybe uh security or I mean if you're looking for a six-figure man, then maybe not working at the nightclub.
SPEAKER_03:Oh yes, this is true. Yeah.
SPEAKER_04:But but um, I do think it's like a about looking in the right place, you know. Whatever kind of man you want, like with values, you want a strong, healthy, you know, man, maybe you should go to the gym. Maybe we should meet a man at the gym. If you want a quiet, reserved man, maybe you should go to the library and meet a man at the library. When you start showing up to places multiple times in a row, um, the same people that are in that crowd that are also there that share your values, they'll eventually see you be like, hey, you know, I see you every time here at the gym, or hey, I see you every time here at Book Club or something. So I think it is about like looking in the right places, the places that hold value to you, the people in those places, it will also hold value to them.
SPEAKER_03:Amen. Yeah. Question on that, since we're um we're doing this on a Sunday. Um a woman finds a church guy, right? What if the church guy is a little too much church? How do how do you uh you like going to this church?
SPEAKER_04:You know what? How do you uh how do you like break it off?
SPEAKER_03:Yeah, you know it's like, hey man, you're a little too much church for me.
SPEAKER_04:No, no, no. You just say, you know, I've prayed about it. And I think that, you know, I I've talked to God about it, and I and I just think that He's just driving me in a different direction. Yeah. Just driving me in a different direction.
SPEAKER_03:Don't say the devil told me.
SPEAKER_04:No, God, no. I just, you know, just God is driving me in a different direction. Uh-huh. And and I think that he has something better out there for you.
SPEAKER_03:Oh, yeah, that's well versed.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah, I do. I really feel that.
SPEAKER_03:Uh-huh. Yeah. Oh.
SPEAKER_04:I'm still working on me.
SPEAKER_03:I agree with you with um the whole like you're they're just not looking in the right places. You know, sometimes good guys, they're just doing their own thing, like playing playing video games.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah.
SPEAKER_03:They could be like just fishing, just being alone.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah.
SPEAKER_03:You know, they could be doing that. Cause I love my alone time. And my wife would always get on me for saying, Oh, why don't you want me to come? Like, are you okay being alone? I was like, oh my gosh. I could watch a movie by myself. Yeah. I could be at an Applebee's and just sit like this and eat, you know?
SPEAKER_00:Yeah.
SPEAKER_03:And I'll be fine. She can't do that. She like she she needs someone.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah.
SPEAKER_03:And I'm just like, oh, like, is this like a an a separation anxiety thing? She was like, no, I just want someone there. Doesn't matter if it's like one of the kids, her friends, uncles, and aunts. But I'm just like, oh, I don't know if it's just us guys, but yeah.
SPEAKER_04:I think it is mostly a guy thing because Is it really? Yeah.
SPEAKER_03:You have to eat with someone. Or you have to be with someone.
SPEAKER_04:I don't have to be with someone. It's nice and it's preferable to be with someone. Oh, really?
SPEAKER_03:I mean at a like, let's say, like in a magazine store or a library, like you want someone there when you're Oh no. Okay.
SPEAKER_04:No, no, no, no.
SPEAKER_03:How about coffee shops? Like I'm finna go to the Starbucks. Hey, Alex, you wanna come? Or is it more of a I'm finna go. If I see Alex there, cool.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah, I think it's like if I you maybe you're right. Maybe it is a separation anxiety thing. Yeah, because I don't like to be that. I just I feel like any free time I have, I like to fill that with being with my other half.
SPEAKER_03:Oh right. Yeah, okay. Um, are you taking single situationship?
SPEAKER_04:Ah, I knew that was gonna come up on the app on the apps.
SPEAKER_02:Um no, yeah.
SPEAKER_04:I am in a situation ship. Really? Relationship, situationship? I don't know.
SPEAKER_03:Oh, okay. You might like this one then. You might like this next question then.
SPEAKER_04:Um, we're gonna we're gonna cut that part out.
SPEAKER_03:Okay, so this is coming from um one of uh this is a question that's asked. Okay. How do you handle like if a person found out that the other person was married or going through a divorce?
SPEAKER_04:Wow.
SPEAKER_03:If I found out that the other person was like, Yeah, like let's say it's happening like in to you, that scenario is happening as a guy, we're like, skip it. Yeah, kind of dogs. We we we'll keep on going with it, you know. But don't ex yeah, don't expect anything from us, you know, afterwards, right? Like if you get caught, oh well, you know, we had our fun. But I mean, we could go into the yeah, I we could go into my story, because my story was like like the way I met my wife was like that. How would you No?
SPEAKER_04:I don't like drama, and I don't know if it's just me, but I don't I don't fuck with drama. Like I don't know.
SPEAKER_02:So you you would cut it off. I would cut it off.
SPEAKER_04:Um I'm like, oh, you're still married, or oh, you're going through a divorce and you didn't let me know. Cool, you fix that, you handle that over there, I'm gonna be over here because there I don't want the drama, I don't want the complication. Oh I think, yeah, no, my talk is awesome.
SPEAKER_03:I love that.
SPEAKER_04:That's crazy.
SPEAKER_03:I really love that. Yeah, back in my younger days, the way I met my wife, she was married at the time, right? I was single. I told one of my boys, like, hey, I'm gonna get at that. He's like, yo, he's married. And me, I didn't have no filter, I just didn't care because I went through like one big heartbreak. Yeah, and this was like my like my very first, like my very first love. Like I was getting over that. I was like, I don't care if my game is that tight, I'm gonna get her. If her husband's game is like, if she's solid, she's gonna stay. I mean, but crazy thing was is that we were on the same dance team, so that's how we got closer. Even the husband, too. Her husband was on the same dance team, but she knew how much of a whore I was, you know, like because we were friends prior to you know us getting together. Yeah, so she knew all the girls because I would have kickbacks in my place. She knew all the girls I would like try to get at. I would ask her for, you know, I would like I was asking her for advice, and then she finally told me, She was like, yo, I'm going through this thing with my with my hubs. And I told her, I was like, oh, okay, cool, handle that. Because as a friend, I'm not gonna say, Oh, you should do this, this, this. I'm like, yo, yeah, handle it. You a grown person, you're a grown woman. Yeah, you handle it. I'll I'll listen, but I'm not gonna give you any advice because I don't know anything about your relationship status or whatever. You just handle that. So, um, yeah, uh, she ended up leaving her husband for me. Like years down the years down the thing, but she got kicked out of her house. Like, this is all like going through her divorce thing, right? And she knew during that time while she was going through her divorce, because she was still living there, I was still doing my thing. Uh-huh. But we were just talking. Nothing sexual, nothing, you know, fellashed, nothing can no canoodled.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah.
SPEAKER_03:We're just talking at that time, but she knew I was doing my thing. And um, yeah, so that story for me, it's like it can turn good, but that's like that that 0.5%.
SPEAKER_04:I think no, and I don't think it I definitely think it can turn good. And for some people and for some women out there, they're going to, you know, I stick beside them, they're gonna do that, they're gonna pull one of those, and they're gonna stick beside whoever it is going through their you know, marriage or divorce or what have you, and I think that's great. I think for me, I'm just like a no bullshit person, and as soon as I hear anything remotely complicated, I'm like, uh uh, I don't want it.
SPEAKER_03:Really? Yeah, I'm like, I don't want it. I don't want to has a guy ever tried getting you back because you cut it off? Yeah, yeah, yeah. What was what was the process in that? Was it the did you erase the text? Did you stop following each other? Uh you stop following him?
unknown:No.
SPEAKER_03:How did you cut him off to where it's like, no, I'm good.
SPEAKER_04:Oh, okay. Um, a lot of times when it gets down to it, I'm very blunt and I'm just like, hey, we need to talk. And um, this isn't working. These are the reasons why it's not working, and so yeah, I think that we should just go our separate ways.
SPEAKER_03:What happens when you separate and then you see each other again? Is it is there a rekindle or is it no?
SPEAKER_04:I'm not awkward at all.
SPEAKER_03:This is a hi-bye.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah.
SPEAKER_03:You say hi?
SPEAKER_04:Yeah, I'm super cordial. All of my exes, I'm super cordial. Yeah. I'll say, oh, hey, what's up? Oh, yeah, good. Okay, good to see you. Yeah, take care.
SPEAKER_03:That's good. I'm cordial with all of my ex-flings and exes as well. Yeah, yeah. Why can't why, in your opinion, why don't you think people are cordial with them?
SPEAKER_04:I think they like the drama. Yeah, I think people like drama. I like that. They thrive off of drama. The oh, did you see him? Uh oh, look at him over there. Uh yeah. Like, right? Uh, and I think people thrive off of the drama, but I also think that people don't have anything else to look forward to or have any, you know, other thought of like I don't, yeah, like there's more fish in the sea. There's other things that you can do with your your time and your energy other than to get mad at it. I don't care. If we ended everything cordially, yeah, I like then I will say hi to you. I'll say hey, what's up? Like also, because I know you might have some fucking dirt on me that you could use in the future. So as long as we're cool and we're friends. As long as we're cool and we're friends and we're still cool and everything like that. And I'm like, oh hey, how you doing? Yeah, then maybe maybe we'll everything will be cool.
SPEAKER_03:Good advice. Great advice.
SPEAKER_04:Hey, you never know.
SPEAKER_03:Question Um with your situationship, right? If you're walking with your person, are you um, like say, obligated to tell him, like, like you see you see an old fling walking down the street towards you? Are you obligated to tell him it's like yo, I laid with that guy? Or I laid with him, or whatever.
SPEAKER_04:I don't know if I would tell them that. If it was asked, would you say? If it was asked, I would. But if I saw the other person walking towards us, I'd be like, hey, just let you know. That's my ex. Let's just keep walking. Uh like I'm gonna let you know who that is, and then I'm gonna give you instructions. I'm gonna say either we're gonna keep walking or I'm just gonna say hi really quick and just just stand right here and then hi, okay, yeah, okay, cool, bye. Like, you know. But I'm I'm very, you know, a forward, yeah, friend.
SPEAKER_03:You're very transparent with it.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah, I try to be.
SPEAKER_03:What if it wasn't an ex? What if it was just a one night uh
SPEAKER_04:Oh, then nothing needs to be said.
SPEAKER_03:Really?
SPEAKER_04:Yeah, nothing needs to be said.
SPEAKER_03:Okay. There's that's a good thing. But if he says hi to you, are are you?
SPEAKER_04:Yeah, that's if the thing is like saying, Oh, hey, what's up? I'm like, oh hey, what's up? Yeah. Good to see. I like that. Yeah.
SPEAKER_03:I'm the same way too. I'm taking that to the grave.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah.
SPEAKER_03:Like she doesn't have to know. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Because I know a lot of women, because we had this, uh, I had this discussion with um some guys and some girlfriends. It's like, oh, I think it's disrespectful if they don't tell you that that was your ex and you laid up. I'm like, ooh. It's like, what fair tale are you living in? Because the drama, I'm not going home to her. I'm going home to you, and I know the repercussion that's gonna happen.
SPEAKER_04:I hear that, but go ahead and speak on it. What you don't know won't hurt you.
SPEAKER_03:Exactly.
SPEAKER_04:I just don't know. I feel you. I just, you know, I just and I it's not about being disrespectful because you're not lying. And I know I hate to use that, like, oh, I'm not lying because I didn't tell you. No, you're not lying. It had nothing to do with the moment. Would you rather me hurt your feelings in the moment as we're having a great day, we're walking down the sidewalk or whatever, and then I we just see this random person, random guy coming towards us, and I go, Oh, by the way, I fucked him. Like, I'm not gonna say no, I'm just gonna. I and if he and if the guy walking down the street isn't gonna be like, oh, by the way, I slept with your girl, like, he's not gonna say anything. Yeah, they're gonna probably look at you and be like, oh, she's with the guy. Yeah, and I'm gonna be like, hey, what's up? Hey, what's up?
SPEAKER_03:Would you want your man to be like that? To be honest and open like that with you? Like, yeah. Really? So hey, I laid with her.
unknown:Yeah.
SPEAKER_04:You guys are walking, really, and you want to be like, I mean, if we're if we're walking down the street and he's saying, like, hey, this is my ex coming up, I would like to know who is your ex coming up, like walking up on us. I would like to know, just so that I'm prepared for whatever. And if it's just some girl that you slept with one time and she's not gonna say nothing, and you're not gonna say nothing, and like it doesn't even matter, then don't say anything to me. I don't I don't need to know.
SPEAKER_03:But if it's an ex, then you would like to know.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah, if it's an ex, you had a relationship with this person, like you were like, I love you, and everything like that. Like, I need to know that's your ex.
SPEAKER_03:Huh. That's good.
SPEAKER_04:Also, so I can size her up just in case. Just I'm just gonna do it. I just funny. You never know. You never know. I like to be prepared for it.
SPEAKER_03:What do you have going on? Let me learn.
SPEAKER_04:I like to be prepared for everything.
SPEAKER_03:So how many times have you dropped the L word on someone?
SPEAKER_04:Oh gosh.
SPEAKER_03:And this is like I'm talking about like a meaningful.
SPEAKER_04:I mean, yeah, not like when I was in 11.
SPEAKER_03:Not like, you know, your sister or your cousin. Twice?
SPEAKER_04:Twice in my life.
SPEAKER_03:I'm around there too. Like maybe like three, two, maybe two and a half. I love.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah. I I am there's definitely two. So there's two.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah, I was married and then my baby mama.
SPEAKER_04:Oh, okay, fair.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah.
unknown:Crystal.
SPEAKER_04:Don't answer her questions. Don't answer her questions. Hey, that was Crystal.
SPEAKER_00:I only say it two times, but you meant two different people.
SPEAKER_04:Oh, oh my gosh.
unknown:Okay.
SPEAKER_03:I say it a lot to my daughters. Yes.
SPEAKER_04:I'm like two different people. Yeah, like two different guys in my in my life that I've just been like, yeah, like I think I love you.
SPEAKER_03:Let me ask you this. Why do you think now this generation is throwing out that word like nothing? Because I hear it a lot, especially with these young kids. Like my niece does that. Yeah, like I'm playing basketball and I'm, you know, I see these kids hanging out. You know, the the teenagers after school. I love you. Love me. Love you, babe.
SPEAKER_04:My niece. Yeah. My my niece is like my mini me. I know she's gonna be watching this. And I know she's gonna see this clip, and she does that, and I hate it. She does it to her little boyfriend, and my niece is 17 years old. They're in high school, and she's I love you. Oh my gosh, I've always loved you. I'm so in love with you. And I think that they throw it out right now, and there's a part of me that doesn't mind it. There's a small part of me that doesn't mind it because I would rather have these kids talking more about like love and love and pushing the idea and the thought of love one another and love you, and I love I would rather have them thinking that than thinking about like hate and you know wanting to harm other children or something. That's good, but yeah, yeah. So I guess. But um, I do think that there is a serious thing where people are pushing out the idea of like, oh, I love you, or I'm in love with you really fast. And I think it's just because the world is moving really fast and everything is happening really fast. And this is true, but yeah, we have like fast fashion, we have like technology's growing at exponential rates, we have people that are like doing overnight success stories or like things like that, where they're like getting rich overnight, ideas and schemes. And I think that love is just happening really fast, where it's like you know, you're about to be rich at you're wanting to be rich right in your 20s, and then married in your 30s, having kids by your 30s and 40s and whatnot, and being retired by your 50.
SPEAKER_03:Uh-huh. So I mean, that was my dream. Like to be to be retired at like 4550. Yeah, that was like my dream. Like I was saving for that. The whole marriage thing, I don't know about that. Oh but the whole retiring not working, oh yeah. I was trying to go for it, it ain't happening. Yeah, I'm gonna be like 55, 60 when I finally retire. But I you know, what would you want to do when you retire?
SPEAKER_04:So I'm actually lying to you. I don't think I'll ever retire.
SPEAKER_03:Oh, really?
SPEAKER_04:Yeah, ever since I started my business, I'm in love with starting businesses. I can't wait to start my next business. And I think I'm just gonna keep being an entrepreneur, keep being a business owner, keep being a philanthropist or what have you until the end of my days. Really? I don't want to retire.
SPEAKER_03:Girl, I tell people this all the time. When I retire, I want to be that guy, like at the Costco, Walmart, or Target, you know, like just checking off items and just talking trash. You know, I just want to be like, hey, this says six items. You got eight there, buddy. So what you gonna do, what you gonna do? Beat up an old man? That's the rep you want. Okay. I want to be that senile, you know? Like I think it's I don't know. Like, I think it that's like my it's my time to be a jerk towards everyone, you know. I aspire. It's like I love, you know, I I love, love, love, yeah. But there's gonna be a time where I'm just like, man, I just wanna be a dick, you know?
SPEAKER_04:Yeah. I I aspire to be that old person, you know, like cranky, yeah? Yeah, cranky and old. If I'm moving slow in the grocery store, you're gonna have to walk around me.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah. Yeah. Oh my gosh, yeah.
SPEAKER_04:If you think about it, for all of our years until we hit like 70 or whatever, when it gets like, oh, okay, she's 70, 70 years old, poor grandma, you know, walk around her and everything. Until you get up to that age, you're the one that has to walk around other people. You're the one that has to be like, oh my gosh, older person and do this.
SPEAKER_02:I love your logic.
SPEAKER_04:Okay, cool. I was mindful of children and helping older people and everybody, everybody until I was like 60. And then after that, I'm old. I'm joining the old team.
SPEAKER_03:Oh my gosh, yes, yes. Um, and this is bad. I don't hope to have Alzheimer's, but if I do, I told my wife and I told my kids to put some sort of superhero costume in my closet. So if I open it up, I'm like, that's awful. Yeah, like am I Batman? Was I frozen? You know, was I Superman? Hold up, wait a minute. Like, yeah.
SPEAKER_04:Okay.
SPEAKER_03:So when I ever get if I ever get old and I have Alzheimer's, I told my that's like my wish.
SPEAKER_04:I don't think that that's bad at all. Right?
SPEAKER_03:Like, why can't you think you're like a superhero or something?
SPEAKER_04:I told people I want to record something for my will, and I might want to do it like right now while I'm young, so that when I get older, I can record this first part of my will and then make them think that I stepped in a time machine and came out and I was young, and this is me giving the rest of my will, and then I'm gonna be like, oh, just kidding. Ha ha. And then I just want to make my will very funny. I want to make it hilarious. Yeah, I want to make my will very you know hilarious. I want to make it very much like, and you get my secret$10 million. The treasure map is under the floorboards in the third house or something, and then they're gonna go there, and it's gonna be a note that's like sucker, not a damn thing. Oh my god, just to you know, make it a little humorous.
SPEAKER_03:I really can because you know, like, you know, at those moments you're everyone's so sad, right?
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_03:And then while you breaking the ice, because you're making fun of yourself now, right? It's like, oh that person was a good, you know, it was a very genuine, funny person. What do you think of the boo boos? If you don't mind me as well.
SPEAKER_04:Oh my. Oh, were you? I hate, I hate them. I hate laboo boos. I hate laboo boos so much.
SPEAKER_03:Why, like, why, why, why, why?
SPEAKER_04:Okay, so I just don't understand like what is the fascination? It's an ugly doll. We had trolls. We had the little trolls with the okay, let's go back to trolls. What was wrong with the trolls? They had a little jewel and the belly button, everything.
SPEAKER_03:I was never into trolls.
SPEAKER_04:Oh, okay. Well, yeah.
SPEAKER_03:I was into trolls. I knew about them though. Like they had TV shows and everything.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah. Yeah. I I um but laboo boos are I just it's just a fad. It's gonna be fast too. It's gonna come here, it's gonna be like, oh, labo-boos, laboo-boos, and then it's gonna go, and it's probably gonna go away and not be as worth as much as we thought it would be. Like, what was it? Marshmallow, or the mellows, the pillows? Well, there was like this pillow collection, something mellows or something like that. Yeah, that's a good thing.
SPEAKER_03:Is it like the hacky sack?
SPEAKER_04:Not the hacky sack, the um the little um It's like little, yeah, it's like little shape of animals and pictures and whatever. Yeah, and there's something mellows or whatever, and they're pillows. But anyway, that was a thing for these kids. That was just like what two years ago or something like that. Squishmellows. That's what they are. Squish mellows.
SPEAKER_03:Okay. Squish mellows.
SPEAKER_04:Squish mellows were my niece was like, oh my god, I need all the squishmallows, it's all the rage, it's like in because she's in high school, so she knows what's in. My niece is cool.
SPEAKER_03:She's like, Ah, she knows this is the skibbity.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah, she knows the the skibbity riz, right? No? Okay. Beta or alpha or something. Oh my god. Okay. Anyway, she's gonna hate me.
SPEAKER_03:I know, right? Aura farming.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah, aura farming. My aura is on like 100. Yeah. Um, so, but yes, my niece was into squishmallows for so long. Okay. And these laboo boos are the new squishmallows. They're gonna be here today, gone tomorrow, and then we're on to the next big thing.
SPEAKER_03:So, as a marketing person, did you see this coming? Like this wave of laboo boos like blasting the way it is right now.
SPEAKER_04:I never saw it coming, no. I mean, like, I wasn't uh into research as far as like yeah, as far as as that goes. Because what happened with labu-boos is they had I forgot what it was, but the original creator, uh I thought they got denied from something and then ended up like selling their laboooboos in a different way from I I guess different from the toy company they were gonna send it sell it to. But either way, like I didn't see it blowing up like this. I even when the trend started, I was like, okay, whatever, but it's gotten actually crazy. Oh genuinely, I'm not a fan.
SPEAKER_03:Neither am I. Neither am I. The only reason why I asked is because my wife is my wife and my daughter, my young one, uh, the seven-year-old, sh they're like so into it. And I'm just like, oh my gosh, I am broke. It's a well, I mean, I'm broke, Holmes. Come on, man.
SPEAKER_04:You have to also understand it's just it's a social thing. Yeah, everybody has a laboooboo. When everybody had like the razor scooter, oh my god, I wanted a razor scooter so bad so I could just pop a wheelie.
SPEAKER_03:Uh-huh. Yeah. Remember the skippets?
SPEAKER_04:Skippets.
SPEAKER_03:It's like um the thing that went around your ankle.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah. Oh my god, yeah, I almost buzzed my ankle. That was bad.
SPEAKER_03:Real fad.
SPEAKER_04:Until you started like busting your ankle again. Oh my gosh.
SPEAKER_03:Past fad slime, making slime.
SPEAKER_04:Making slime. That was a fad thing.
SPEAKER_03:Um, what else was a fad?
SPEAKER_04:Did you guys ever do that thing where you rub pennies on your skin to make a, I don't know, it was like a tattoo, but it was really just a rash.
SPEAKER_03:No, that was a fad. Was that a Hawaiian fad? Like an old school Hawaiian?
SPEAKER_04:It was when I hey, that was what I I learned it when I was in Hawaii. When I was in middle school in Wahiwa. Yeah, in Wahiwa. That's I don't know. I mean.
SPEAKER_02:Oh man, y'all were bored. Y'all was bored.
SPEAKER_04:It's kind of equivalent to the Tide Pod thing with Gen Z.
SPEAKER_03:Uh-huh.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah. Like Oh.
unknown:Huh.
SPEAKER_03:Nope. Never heard of that shit. Next question. All right, this uh this might be a good one. Okay. Um, have you ever been your ex is sneaky link and was it better than your current relationship?
SPEAKER_04:Have I ever been a sneaky link?
SPEAKER_03:Yeah. So because of uh, so your ex your ex your ex is sneaky link and the thing the I guess the thing that you have with your ex is now better than what you had with them when you guys were in a relationship? That's the question.
SPEAKER_04:Oh, no. I've never been a sneaky link to anybody. I'm not a secret. Yeah, I'm the main attraction.
SPEAKER_03:Mmm, girl. What are ways on um, let's say, and this might oust like a lot of guys and women too. Um like uh like a red flag if a person has a sneaky link on the side.
SPEAKER_04:Is it a red flag if a person has a sneaky link?
SPEAKER_03:Like is No, no, yeah, it's a red flag.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah, or okay.
SPEAKER_03:Or like what are what are signs that you just like?
SPEAKER_04:Oh, what are signs if somebody signs? Hmm.
SPEAKER_03:Like if you were have you ever been I've never been no people.
SPEAKER_04:Never been cheated on like that? Yeah, never like that. But I feel like telltale signs. Yeah, I've heard stories. I feel like Telltale signs would be that they don't have unlimited, like expansive amounts of time to dedicate towards you. Oh, like I mean, I feel I feel like if I call you at 2 a.m., you should be there at two, like you should be up at 2 a.m. Or not up, but you should be able to answer the phone.
SPEAKER_02:Oh, really?
SPEAKER_03:I mean, like You would break up. No, no, because I like I'd be like, I'd be knocked out because I've phones now have sleep mode.
SPEAKER_04:Oh no, see, and that's what I'm saying. The red flags of if they were to have a sneaky link, that means that they would tell you, like, there's some Fridays, Saturdays, or Sundays they're unavailable. And why? Because you have to tend to your sneaky link eventually.
SPEAKER_03:Because you're working.
SPEAKER_04:Well, but see, but you don't have a sneaky link. And what you're working on Friday, Saturday, and Sunday, Sunday is the Lord's Day?
SPEAKER_03:Working for the Lord?
unknown:Oh my god.
SPEAKER_03:Oh my god. Um, I think I've been I've been a sneaky link, I've been someone sneaky link. Like back in California.
SPEAKER_04:Did you have to hide around and stuff?
SPEAKER_03:No, I didn't have to hide around because I was single. It was more of um I had to meet uh them in like certain places. And at times where I was just like, uh, okay. So I was like, uh, so this is what it feels like to be used, you know? As a guy, it's like it's it's nice. Cause it's like, because it's it's it's woman, it's a woman wanting you, right?
SPEAKER_01:Right.
SPEAKER_03:And just for one thing. Sometimes it's for like what she's not getting at home. Like, you know, like you could be like a professional cuddler.
SPEAKER_01:Oh, yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah. That's a bit that's a thing in New York, by the way. You didn't know? You didn't know what to do. Okay, we go. Okay, yeah, scratch this one. We'll talk about that. So one one of my buddies uh lives in New York, put he put an ad out on Craigslist, and he's making money off that. A professional cuddler. Like they're not canoodling, they're not phalacian, they're just he's just and he's like a pretty buff, you know, like squishy guy. What? So he works out, he's kind of squishy, he has like a dad bot, and all these women would pay him to like they're paying him to feel safe. Yeah, just to cuddle. Oh my god. I'm like, how much are you making? It's like, dude, I'm making, you know, it's not his main job anymore, but when that was happening, he was making at least 600, 700 a week. I'm like, dude, how much are how much are you charging? I was like, oh, these women are paying me like, you know, 50 bucks plus dinner,$60. I'm like, oh snap. And what do you do? It's like all I do is just hold them. And I'm like, dog. That's it. I wish I was a bear. You know, like, I mean, you know, but it's a thing in New York.
SPEAKER_04:That's crazy.
SPEAKER_03:I lie, I lie to you not.
SPEAKER_04:That's oh my gosh. Okay, I can I can I can believe that though, but they're paying to be safe, like to feel like loved. And like you said, it's something they're not getting at home, which is why people have that whole sneaky link thing. It's you know, it's something you're not getting at home. However, I'm trying to figure out because you said you would she would tell you to meet at odd places. Like if she like meet me at the Macy's second floor dressing room, third stall. No, no, no, no, no.
SPEAKER_03:No, not those odd places, like places that you wouldn't catch me at. Like, like say a um a Panera. Panera bread?
SPEAKER_04:Okay, yeah.
SPEAKER_03:Like I would like back in the day, you would never catch me at a Panera. I wouldn't even know what the fuck that was. Uh you know, or a Boston market. I don't know what Boston Market was. It's an old chain store or whatnot back in California. Um, or um Borders was big. Okay. You know. Oh, the bookstore. Yeah, Borders, Walden Books, and all that. So like places like that, like you wouldn't. We'd never catch you at a bookstore. Yeah. Um you know what? Yeah, you would. High school me, yeah. Twent in my early 20s, oh, definitely. Okay, okay. That's when, you know, you get like the fret you like uh Slam magazine, yeah. XXL. I used to read that all. Okay, yeah, hell yeah. And um, but this is yeah, they're extinct now. Yeah. Those types of stories are extinct. But yeah, I would be there, but like in my let's say my late 20s, nah. Okay. I have too much time. I mean, not too much time, but time's too limited to like sit down and read a book and read like read like that. Yeah. No, like in a setting like that. I would rather read a book at home, fall asleep and wake up and be like, uh, this is what happened.
SPEAKER_04:Oh yeah. I can do that. I agree with you on that. 100%, yeah.
SPEAKER_03:Being around other people reading, I can't.
SPEAKER_04:Okay, I get that. I 100% I get that. See, girl, you thought I was weird.
SPEAKER_03:She thought I was weird for a quick second.
SPEAKER_04:I was like, yeah, he just doesn't want to read.
SPEAKER_03:No, I read a lot. I like to read conspiracy books.
SPEAKER_04:Oh, okay.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah, like Behold a Pale Horse. That's like my top fave.
SPEAKER_04:Okay, I thought you meant like 9-11 Fahrenheit.
SPEAKER_03:Oh no, no. So Behold a Pale Horse, it was written by an ex CIA agent, and he was just spilling the tea on things that happened before I want to say '95.
SPEAKER_00:Wow.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah, so like the alien abductions, his theory on JFK. I don't know if it's real or not, but it makes a lot of sense to me the way he described it.
SPEAKER_04:I like listening to some of the exciting, yeah.
SPEAKER_03:Like the whole backstory on Israel and all that stuff. Like, it's been going on for years, and I'm just like, wow, this is crazy. Like it opens, you know, reading books is good. Yeah, I like it.
SPEAKER_04:Yes.
SPEAKER_03:I like it. Do you sit and read a good book?
SPEAKER_04:I do. I read a lot of books actually. A lot of the books that I read are either right now, because I'm in my entrepreneur phase, a lot of the books that I read are like dedicated towards like building good habits, um, Atomic Habits. That's one of my favorite. Uh I've read um 48 Laws of Power. I've read um another, I've read a lot of um, I think his name is Robert Green, his books. Um like the laws of human nature and stuff like that, just to I don't know, just to learn about things.
SPEAKER_03:Are you a highlighter person?
SPEAKER_04:I'm not a highlighter person. I don't like that. I like my books still look nice, but I am a sticky note person. Like the little tiny tabs, like I just I am I'm I'm that too.
SPEAKER_03:How about uh um at work too? Do you have like the sticky note tabs where like in your desk office?
SPEAKER_04:You like at my home office, I am sticky note everywhere.
SPEAKER_03:Isn't it okay? So life hack. Um I'm better at remembering things when I write things down and I put it somewhere instead of like putting in my phone, yeah, I'm better writing things down. Is that is that sort of like an ADHD thing?
SPEAKER_04:No, that's science.
SPEAKER_03:It's science.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah, science tells us that we remember. I've I might be lying about the percentage, somebody else correct me, but we might, it's I think we remember like 60 or 70 percent of what we write down because you're remembering it because you're saying it verbally, it's going on in your head, and as you're writing it, you're writing and like thinking it at the same time of writing it down. So when you write things down, it helps you to remember things better.
SPEAKER_03:Is that the same concept of texting it into your phone?
SPEAKER_04:No, writing it. It physically has to be done with like your, you know, I think it's because your mind, it's the mind-muscle connection when you're using your muscles to like write things. I don't know. I might be lying about all of that.
SPEAKER_02:It sounded smart. You got me believing.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah, but it but it is true that you were you remember more things that you physically write down. It's not the same for texting. Yeah.
SPEAKER_03:Let me ask you this. Since we're talking about writing, do you still write in cursive?
SPEAKER_04:I do. I do. I do too. Me, hey, me too. But there's some kids out here that don't know how to do it.
SPEAKER_03:That's a lost art.
SPEAKER_02:It's a lost thing.
SPEAKER_04:I so my grandmother loves to receive handwritten notes. So every so often I will write my grandma uh a letter and just snail mail it just so she gets mail. But I'll write her a letter in in cursive just to write.
SPEAKER_03:Girl, when I was in basic, I love the letters that you know my family would send. Yeah, yeah. So the whole email thing, great, I love it. It's fast, it's convenient, but reading, you know, it's like, oh, you took the time to write. Yeah, especially cursive.
SPEAKER_04:And and you know, and I didn't realize, okay, it wasn't until I started doing that note thing with my grandma that I realized I was like, man, cursive is hard, and I need to keep up this skill because I started writing, I write two sentences, and I'm like, oh my god, carpal tunnel. I was like, I'm dying. And then I was like, okay, maybe I need to get better. Obviously, I haven't written in so long that I'm writing two sentences and feeling like my wrists are falling off.
SPEAKER_03:Oh yeah. Does your niece know how to write in cursive? Because my 21-year-old, she does not know how.
SPEAKER_04:My niece, I think she does know how to write in cursive. I feel like she was like the last generation.
SPEAKER_02:Oh, really?
SPEAKER_04:That they taught cursive. I don't know if my nephew, her younger brother, he's like three years younger than her. I don't know if he knows how to write, and I'm pretty sure they're not teaching any kids after that. Oh man.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah.
SPEAKER_03:That's crazy.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah.
SPEAKER_03:That's crazy.
SPEAKER_04:It's unbelievable. My kids are gonna know. My kids are gonna know and they're gonna practice. Yeah, hell yeah. They're gonna know and they're gonna practice. You know why? And everybody tells me that's because the Declaration of Independence is written in cursive. Ooh, this is a lot of these old laws, they're written in cursive, and so what happens when somebody's interpreting them wrong because nobody else can read cursive except for our government officials.
SPEAKER_03:That's all not getting into that. Nope, nope. Nope, nope. Anyway, anyway, yeah, yeah, yeah. So this might be the last question. Um, and this is gonna might be a fun one. Can WAP save a marriage? Someone asked me that.
SPEAKER_04:Can WAP save a marriage?
SPEAKER_03:Yes, if it's a good thing.
SPEAKER_04:No, I don't think so. No, I don't think so. Hell no, absolutely not. Because at that point, you're just roommates having sex. Like you're just roommates having really good sex. Like it's great. If it's good, it's awesome. But I'm pretty sure that you can also find somebody with like communication, values, like, you know, trust, honesty, protection, all that good stuff. Everything else that you need in a relationship, I feel like you can find that as well. And find, you know, the other partner that has like great, you know, sexual abilities and everything like that. Because WAP is not saving a marriage. Let me tell you that. Because guess what? WAP is a plenty. It is not sparse out here. WAP is a plenty. A plenty. It's a plenty. It is not sparse out here. You think yo WAP is gonna save your marriage? Absolutely not, because some other girl right around the corner has the same thing, if not better.
SPEAKER_03:I like that. That was a quick to the point answer. Um we could do another one. Okay, let's do another one. All right, so this one, um she uh she asked this, and then I had I had my answer too. And I wanna hear I wanna I want to hear your your side on it, right? So, why do guys lie? My answer to this one is woman like a good story, then the truth. Woman already, women already have a prior written story, and a man lies to fill that character she already has in that story. That was my answer. That was like my intelligent, being a smart ass answer. What's your answer and why do you think guys lie?
SPEAKER_04:Uh, why do guys lie? Hmm. I think I think guys lie to do what they think they're doing. I think they're lying to protect the female. Like I think that they think that they're protecting a female when in reality what's happening is that, like you said, you're you're filling the story of, oh, well, she already believes that I'm this type of man, and I don't want to make her believe anything otherwise, other than because if I do, then I lose my female, right? And so they're lying to make sure they fill that story in your head so that everything is good and everything's happy, and they think they're protecting the family, they think they're protecting you, and everything like that. But what's really happening is it's causing chaos. So, but I mean, like women lie too.
SPEAKER_03:Oh, yeah. Oh my gosh. Yeah, um quick five minutes. Yeah, women wear heels, y'all ain't that tall. Yeah, you wear contacts, your color, your eye color ain't that cold.
SPEAKER_04:I'm like, really?
SPEAKER_03:How beautiful was that green? No man, they found that. But I mean, we all do, it's it's it's the little elephant ones that I'm you know, I'm cool with the little ones like, yeah, oh, does this shirt make me look good? Yeah, yeah, yeah, I look good. Because if it's your favorite shirt, I'm for it, you know? Okay, you know, but if it makes you look unattractive, I think I'll be like, oh go go choose another shirt. Yeah, maybe I won't be like, ugh, I'd I'd try to be subtle with it.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah, yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_03:So the little white lies, I'm I'm okay with.
SPEAKER_04:I think that everybody has to be okay, and this is a horrible thing to say, but nobody's perfect. And I think that everybody has to be okay with little white lies. Because even if it's like your husband telling you, like, you say, Hey, did you take out the rubbish can? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I did it. I put him by the road. And he didn't, and he realized he didn't. He gets home before you. He takes the trash and he puts it in his truck and he runs it down to the dump truck or to the dump station or whatever to get rid of it before you get home.
SPEAKER_03:And it's like, I saw you on that ring, dude.
SPEAKER_04:Right, but but you know what? Um, but you know what? I would let him get away with that because so what? Is the trash still there? No, it's gone.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah, it's taken care of.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah, it's taken care of. Like you just put jokes in the ground. Yeah. Yeah. I'm like, so it's little things like that where it's like little white lies, like, oh, did you start the race? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I did, I did. Runs downstairs to start their ice.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah.
SPEAKER_04:It's like, okay, whatever. But if you're telling me, no, no, no, you're the only girl I've ever been with, da-da-da-da. And you pop up with five kids across the country, like yeah, no. Oh, honestly is the best possible.
SPEAKER_03:Yes, yes, yes. Um, that was fun. Yeah, that was super fun. No, thank you. Hi Five for that. Yes, hell yeah. Um, where can these people find you at? And do you have any shouts or anything?
SPEAKER_04:Yeah. Um, you can find me on all platforms at K in Wonderland. That's at K-E-A-I-N-Wonderland. I'm not gonna go ahead and spell that out because I don't want to embarrass myself. Just kidding. Um, but um, yeah, on all platforms at K in Wonderland. And any shout-outs, um, definitely shout out my niece Destiny, that's my little twin. I love her. Shout out my girl Crystal who came through with my mama. Yes. And I always want to give a shout out, you know, to my mom and to God. Just because, you know, Claire B.
SPEAKER_03:Hey. Oh, yeah. Before we dip out, confessions is a segment of the podcast where uh the guest just says a confession. Um whatever you want to say. Yeah, absolutely. No names. You don't have to drop any name drop.
SPEAKER_04:Okay. I once, or not once, every time when I get in a relationship, or every time like any guy tries to take me on a date, I always look up his record in FBI and like in any public records and any jail anything, newspaper articles. Like, I go do a full-on search. Like, I pay for the search. I do a full-on search.
SPEAKER_03:Whoa. Just do that's crazy. I mean, it's out there. Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_04:Just to pull any any public knowledge that you have that is out there, any anything that I feel like is like, okay, are you crazy? Are you like you got 10 kids, five baby mamas I need to know about, whatever. So I need to know where your family's from, just in case. Make sure you're not my cousin.
SPEAKER_03:Before we dip out, was there did you find one that was like, no, after after you found after you found something on that guy where you're like, nah, I'm I'm not gonna go out you.
SPEAKER_04:So I did find one where I found something crazy on the guy, and I feel like if I say it, it's gonna identify that individual. So need. Just uh but I did find something crazy, and I was like, oh my goodness, it was like in the newspaper, and I was like, oh gosh, and like, yeah. Um I did find on jail records, so uh, but I did I ended up going through with the date just because I because I was like, well, it doesn't look too crazy. It wasn't for murder, it wasn't for murder, so so yeah. So I was like, okay, it looks a little uh it looks a little wild, but let's see. And I ended up going on like a couple of dates at the time.
SPEAKER_02:Oh really? Is he a bad boy? Did you like that?
SPEAKER_04:I did you know what back because he was interested. Back in the day, I did like that. Oh I think he bordered the line of like if you want to say bad boy and kind of like still mature, like still yeah, mature and about his business and everything like that. But um, but yeah, I did it in mode for a little bit and then we just decided like it wasn't gonna work out in Sweetie. Yeah, but I never told him, I never told him that I did the background check on him. Really? Yeah, no, I never told him. I was just sitting at the table like, yeah, I know.
SPEAKER_03:Peter boyfriends, you're gonna get checked on. Better have a cleaning record, a good cleaning record. Hey, uh KO Studios, thank you for the lovely home. Raffi Bye, thank you for the lovely beats, man. And with that, I'm Chris. I'm Kaya, and we out this bitch. Peace.
unknown:Yay!
SPEAKER_03:Oh how was that? That was good. How was that, Miss Crystal?
unknown:Oh man, that was great.
