The REALationship Method

Anu Finds Love, Liking 'Noods", and What NOT to Say to a Baby with Sydni

• Chris Lomboy • Season 4 • Episode 91

Share episode

Send us a text

Ever tried to love well while your brain is sprinting and your calendar won’t quit? We dive straight into the messy space where mental health meets relationships—how therapy, self‑awareness, and clean communication can turn chaos into something you can actually build on. With Anu co‑hosting and Sydni from 444 Hawaii in the studio, we get real about hustle culture, single parenting, and what it takes to protect your peace without ghosting the people you love.

We unpack the early warning signs that your mind needs care—panic spikes, irritability, and that numb drift that turns small disagreements into big blowups. Sydni shares why she chose to normalize therapy and medication, how angel numbers and legacy shaped her brand’s mission, and the daily habits that keep her grounded. We challenge the idea that partners should be each other’s therapists and offer a simple loop to repair after conflict: name the feeling, name the need, make one clear request, and revisit together. Short, human, repeatable.

Respect and transparency become the backbone of everything: letting your person know when plans change, acknowledging island dynamics where everyone knows everyone, and not leaving out the “small” details that later feel like betrayal. We also tackle the thorny stuff—work‑trip crushes without physical contact, whether preventive couples therapy is smart or overkill, and how to tell the difference between boys who play games and men who commit. Finally, we talk identity and attraction with compassion: labels can guide, but character and safety carry relationships across lines.

If this conversation hits home, tap follow, share with a friend who needs a calm, honest take on love and mental health, and leave a quick review so more listeners can find us. Your support keeps these real talks going.

mental health signals and coping in relationships
• hustle culture stress, single parenting and side gigs
• therapy, medication and removing stigma
• transparency, respect and preventing jealousy
• not therapising your partner and setting limits
• work‑trip crushes, monogamy and repair at home
• roasting with boundaries and trigger words
• identity, preference and raising inclusive kids
• breaking generational patterns with vulnerability

SPEAKER_00:

Welcome back to another episode of the Relationship Method podcast. It's your boy Chris. Today's a special woman. Um, I am introducing my co-host, Miss Anu. You've seen her ask before. Uh, on several episodes. A lot of y'all were saying, oh, we vibed well together or some shit. I don't know. Shy, I guess. No, but we got Anu. And I also have um owner of 44. I'm alright.

SPEAKER_03:

444.

SPEAKER_00:

444 Hawaii?

SPEAKER_03:

Yes.

SPEAKER_00:

444 Hawaii. I got Miss Cindy K because I don't want to mess up her last name.

unknown:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00:

Hey, what's up, y'all two? Oh my gosh. Nothing much. Nothing much. Are y'all nervous or some shit?

SPEAKER_03:

Never that.

SPEAKER_00:

Never that. Cindy, how's it going?

SPEAKER_03:

Good. Oh, I just figured it would be cool to talk about, you know, how mental health affects relationships. Um, because I think that it actually is a big factor for people when they're going through shit. Um, especially out here in Hawaii with all the with all the situationships.

SPEAKER_00:

What is that all the situationships and ish. Oh lord.

SPEAKER_03:

It's complicated you know, stuff.

SPEAKER_00:

Mmm. You've gone through your fair share of complications.

SPEAKER_03:

Okay. Not on the screen.

SPEAKER_00:

My girl Anu, um, you're you're in a good one now, yeah?

SPEAKER_04:

I am.

SPEAKER_00:

Yes. We've been talking about this. Um also in the previous episode, she was talking about her previous booze, which, you know, if y'all want to watch it, y'all should fucking watch it. Um and um, Miss Uh Sydney, what do you do for your your for your nine to five?

SPEAKER_03:

Um, so I am entrepreneur.

SPEAKER_00:

Ooh.

SPEAKER_03:

I mean, I'm working on the clothing brand now. Um, and then I'm also I've got two side businesses. Well, like I breed Frenchies, and then I have a noodle company.

SPEAKER_00:

You say noodle?

SPEAKER_03:

Noodle, fried noodles, yeah. Like nudes. Like like mummel.

SPEAKER_00:

Oh snap.

SPEAKER_03:

Called Like Nudes.

SPEAKER_00:

Uh-huh. Yeah. So wait, wait, wait, hold on. What was the name? Like nudes. Like nudes? That's catchy as fuck. Yeah, it's cute. It's cutesies. Demour. Who says Demour now? Do you still use Demore? Never did?

SPEAKER_04:

I'm a crash out.

SPEAKER_00:

Oh.

SPEAKER_04:

Period.

SPEAKER_00:

Cool. Period. Period. I'm kind of hip. My wife has been teaching me shit um along the way. Um how's your week been going?

SPEAKER_04:

Busy.

SPEAKER_00:

Busy? Work?

SPEAKER_04:

Started school maybe three weeks ago. A month ago.

SPEAKER_00:

Are they um preschool? No, um, are they in vacation now? Because my kids just went on vacation. No way, really. Not fall break.

SPEAKER_04:

They they follow the college schedule because it's with my school schedule.

SPEAKER_00:

So her kids go to college.

SPEAKER_04:

So no no fall break for them. Really? Which is good for me because why? Oh, is it because of a babysitter?

SPEAKER_00:

Oh.

SPEAKER_04:

You go to school. Oh.

SPEAKER_00:

Okay, well, I mean, you know, you you got family for that, right?

SPEAKER_04:

I do, but I like to just figure things out by myself.

SPEAKER_00:

I like that. I like that. Sydney, you be figuring things out on your own too?

SPEAKER_04:

Single mom. Yeah, yep, single mama.

SPEAKER_00:

You really a single mom? Oh, so that answers my next question. She's single, y'all. Um, how long you've been single for? Uh oh, okay, cool, cool, cool, cool. Redact. Redact that hit.

SPEAKER_03:

Nah, it's uh it's um off and on. Off and on kind of thing. You are situation chat.

SPEAKER_00:

You know what? It's it's okay to be off and on because you are, like, say you already know that partner's tendencies and to go with someone else new could be a little intimidating, am I right?

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah, it's not necessarily that. It's just I've had a lot of shit going on in my life, you know, for over almost a year now. So I just didn't, I don't think it's fair to project that onto a relationship. Uh-huh. I think it's pretty toxic, and I've had my fair share of toxic fucking situationships and stuff. So I'm trying to be better moving forward with that. So I've learned from my or tried to learn from my past mistakes. So that's why it's like kind of on and off. Cause I've been like this, you know, like waves of emotion. So that's the reasoning behind it.

SPEAKER_00:

You know what I mean? I'm like that too. Um I like that little wave because I guess at the end of that ride, you're just like, damn, I survived that. Like, I'm a big looking back kind of person. So when I do reflect on a lot of things, I'm like, shit, I came a long way because I remember I broke down here, or I wanted to just kill someone, or I was like, yo, this was a high right here. Like, damn, accept your wins, you know what I'm saying? So those little rides, I'm like, fuck. Just wait till the end, you know?

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00:

But holy crap. Well, let me tell you about my week. Um, so it was um my daughter's birthday. We went to Waikai. And if you don't, if y'all don't know what Waikai is, it's like a a kid, uh, well, maybe adult too. Um uh obstacle course on water.

SPEAKER_03:

Oh, I've been wanting to go to that spot. Oh, where? It looks fun. I I just won't jump on the fucking surfboard because I eat shit.

SPEAKER_00:

Oh, dude, I ate shit all the time. You know what I'm saying? I drank my fair share of water. I also threw up my fair share of water. Um, let me tell you about why, Kai. So uh I good uh one good thing is that they have um not floaties, what are they called? Um life vests, right? And uh uh what's it called when you're like in water and you're waddling, treading. When you're treading for that long, because we're there from like 10 to 4, it could be freaking exhausting, right? So thank you, Waikai, for the life vest. But at the age I'm at, and I I don't know if you if y'all could attest to this too, but um getting in and out of the water, also like slipping.

SPEAKER_04:

Chris, we're from here. Oh yeah, we don't have this problem.

SPEAKER_00:

Shut up! I'm just saying, my non-local head ass. I was hurt, man, because I was slipping and sliding on this wet stuff, and then getting up and stuff, like it took me two days to recuperate from all that shit. Hey, shut up, Anu. What do you what do you mean, like, y'all, y'all from here, like y'all, so y'all used to that?

SPEAKER_04:

We were born in the water, we're literally in and out like that.

SPEAKER_00:

If you don't get your aerial Sebastian head ass, little mermaid head ass out of here. So y'all don't have that problem where if you're at the beach all day and you're just splashing, splashing, going off the rock and stuff, you don't take a day to recover from like fatigue? Yeah.

SPEAKER_04:

No? I mean, I think just because we grew up on the beach and that was you know, like that was you become immune to it. Oh really?

SPEAKER_00:

That's the island thing.

SPEAKER_04:

You can only do so much on an island, so what is the main thing that you do? You go to the beach and respect.

SPEAKER_00:

I respect that. I want to see y'all jump some fences in the hood, alright? I'm just playing. I got all dark. Sorry. I'm just I'm just a little, you know. I'm being petty. You did that too. Oh, you jumped fences too? Man shit. Alright, well, I guess they hood too. Alright. Um, have y'all mistaken? This happened to me this week too. That um you called the baby a different gender because of what they were wearing.

SPEAKER_04:

I have never done that.

SPEAKER_00:

No? How about you, Sydney?

SPEAKER_03:

No, because it's either like blue or pink.

SPEAKER_00:

Story time. I was um I was at a little function and I was like, oh, cute baby. What's uh what is you know, what's her name? Mind you, wearing pink, baby, right? Oh, it's a he. Oh, okay, I didn't notice. Uh usually they wear blue, but hey, okay. But I've I knew this person felt super offended when I called it a a she. And I wasn't trying to like, it didn't have it's a baby. It has no features yet, you know what I'm saying? So there's no way I was trying to be disrespectful. Right? I mean, man, all you see is a cheekbone, maybe a tooth here or there, some lips. It looked like a regular human, but I mean, okay, with y'all, since y'all, you know, mothers and shit, can y'all can y'all tell, like, say, not even a year old if that's a boy or a girl? Are you able to do that?

SPEAKER_04:

Off like first look.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, just like, oh.

SPEAKER_04:

If it's not like a newborn, maybe like if it's a stranger's baby and not a newborn, probably. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00:

How about a white?

SPEAKER_04:

A white baby?

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, white.

SPEAKER_04:

Oh, they're very distinctive with their gender, like how they dress their kids, so I think how about a b how about a bla African, a black?

SPEAKER_00:

Are you able to tell if it's a boy or a girl? They both bald.

SPEAKER_04:

So technical. Right? It's like Okay, so this baby was a white.

SPEAKER_00:

This is a white baby that I was like, oh.

SPEAKER_04:

You know what? Like, get around to that. Oh, your baby is so cute. What's its name?

SPEAKER_00:

Its name. Okay, got that's a good, that's a good what's them name. What's their name?

SPEAKER_03:

Well, that's good. You have so many like pronouns now. What's their name? They might get offended if you call it a he or she or they or whatever. Like, huh? What live in different times? What's your baby's name?

SPEAKER_04:

Yeah, that's right. That is so correct. So cute. What's your baby's name? I've never done that, but I've had that happen to my son before.

SPEAKER_00:

Because your son had long hair at a point.

SPEAKER_04:

I did. He had very long hair, but he was also wearing surf shorts and no shirt, so I don't understand how they confused it.

SPEAKER_00:

Anu, let me tell you, that's what happened with my kid too when he had long hair. They're like, oh, nice girl. And I'm like, Dog, first of all, my girl wouldn't be running around topless. What are you stupid? Second of all, he's wearing blue and green and stuff. Do girls wear blue and green kind of sometimes, but I mean shit.

SPEAKER_04:

I'm not gonna lie, I did get a little fan. Because like, why would I just him like that if it were a girl? I don't know. Yeah, oh I was like, come on, like common sense people.

SPEAKER_00:

Common sense. Sydney, is common sense not so common nowadays?

SPEAKER_03:

Common sense is uncommon.

SPEAKER_00:

It's uncommon. Do you uh believe that you're a common sense type of person?

SPEAKER_03:

There are some things that just fly right over my fucking head sometimes, but for the most part, I think I have common sense, yeah.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah?

unknown:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00:

Mmm. Mm-hmm. I'm trying to think of uh common sense. Oh, nothing. Anu, do you have anything before we get to these questions?

SPEAKER_01:

Oh, I'm good.

SPEAKER_00:

You ready?

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00:

I took a lot of horny ones out.

SPEAKER_01:

Okay.

SPEAKER_00:

Okay, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool. Here's here's one. Shut up. Anu, shut up. Alright, so here's uh one from like someone. Do you think hustle culture affects your mental health and how? The hustle as in like your grinding.

SPEAKER_03:

Does it like it's definitely affected mine, you know, um starting the clothing brand because it's a it's a lot of shit to do, and especially on your own. So there's like all these processes that I'm learning as I go. Um, but it definitely there are some days where it's just like you kind of feel a little defeated. You're like, oh shit, like is this even gonna, you know, because I I have been off of social media for a long time. I just started Instagram again after like seven years. So it's like I didn't have like that much of a following, you know. Um, so it's like, oh well, is this gonna be enough for me to invest in? And like, you know, is it gonna even sell? Is it gonna reach people? And you know, the message that I want to send across. So there are days where I'm like in my head about it, but at the same time, it's like it's also really rewarding too when people, you know, you get messages and they're like, Oh, you know, um, I really appreciate what you're doing. You know, you've been through a lot, and it takes courage to tell your story the way you have, which yeah, it has. So, yeah.

SPEAKER_00:

The waves, waves, waves, see, came back to the waves. My metaphor is beyond it'd be metaphor in. No, not that, huh? Oh fuck. I'm trying. I'm trying here. Um, so with the how'd you come up with the name?

SPEAKER_03:

Um, so 444. I've always like, you know, like there's angel numbers. Some people have like 1111, whatever.

SPEAKER_00:

I am I am like, yeah, I can't be keen to that. Yeah, I know.

SPEAKER_03:

So um it's actually in legacy for my dad, because you know, four four times three is four twelve, or is twelve, so four twelve is my birthday. Um, and it's always been like angel angel numbers, yeah. So it's like giving back to him because he gave me life, you know, and he's no longer here. So um the whole reason behind this is because of mental health awareness, right? So it's just being in um in alignment, being resilient, and just being okay with where you're at in life. Because there have been days where I'm like, you know, um in my like 20s or whatever, I'm like, where the fuck should I be right now? Like I should be doing this, I should be doing that, and you're always comparing yourself to other people, but sometimes it's okay. Well, actually, it's all the time it's okay to just kind of take a step back and be like, I'm fine with where I'm at right now. Oh, I'm grateful for like what you have in your life, you know?

SPEAKER_00:

Oh hell yeah. Yeah, yeah. I'd be going through that. My therapist be saying that I know how to uh I say I'm gonna say that again, reflect like what's up, you know. Oh, cool, cool. He's coming up. Nothing horny. All right, nothing horny here. Pause. Um the whole hustle thing is like when I started this, because I could relate to you too, it's like, damn, well, people listen. But then in my in my hindsight, I'm just like, dude, this is my way of like getting away, and this is not a bad thing, getting away from you know my kids and my fam. This is very therapeutic for me because my prior job is I was talking to people on on Pearl Harbor. That was like my job. I was a clinician. So um, yeah, so the whole hustle thing, it's like you coming up with the stuff, are do you have a team or are you are you by yourself? By myself. Ugh. Like why?

SPEAKER_03:

I mean, because I'm just starting out, you know, I'm I'm figuring it out as I go, but you know, hopefully eventually in the future I'll, you know, make it to the point where I can have people with me. But I mean, it's just basically me right now. So and I'm still learning a lot. I don't know, like I don't know hardly anything at all.

SPEAKER_00:

Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_03:

But so I'm just taking it day by day.

SPEAKER_00:

How about the nudes? Um noodles. You know what I'm going to do. Doug, no. Yeah, that'll say was it sick though? Was it okay? Was it all right? Was my delivery there? No, but how about the noodles? Was it um how did that come about?

SPEAKER_03:

That uh so when I was in high school, I was pretty bad. I skipped school a lot. I used to go and go to Waimea's and burn. So I like Go to where and where? Waimea's to burn.

SPEAKER_00:

Waimea. Waimea to burn.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah, because I I originally am from Wahuwa. So um, you know, whenever we would have like our stony baloney moments, like I could just this super random like recipe for fried noodles, and it turned out to be like really fucking good. And I think it stuck with me, and like people have always told me, like, you should start selling it, like it's really different, it's it's good, and it's like something that people crave, and so just like okay, fuck it. So I started doing it, and then it ended up actually doing pretty well. I mean, I have taken a break from it because I've been really busy with building the brand, but yeah, it's like a side thing.

SPEAKER_00:

Ooh, I know have you had this? The noodles?

SPEAKER_03:

No, I haven't tried our noodles yet.

SPEAKER_00:

Oh, where do you s um before you took the break, where were your noodles being sold at?

SPEAKER_03:

Um, so I would do pre-orders, like I would do drops. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00:

Oh, yeah. Well, I mean, just respect to um, you know, the locals out here for um like everyone has like a side gig, a side. I mean you kind of have to. Yeah, to survive survive. It's hard out here. Oh my god.

SPEAKER_01:

It's hard out here for a pimp.

SPEAKER_04:

I told you how I started my TikTok, right?

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah. Cake pops? Oh my gird, yeah.

unknown:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04:

During COVID, I was selling cake pops and one video just popped off, and then that's how I started my TikTok.

SPEAKER_00:

Are you still doing it?

SPEAKER_04:

Cake Pops?

SPEAKER_00:

Cake Pops. Oh no. Why not? You know, like K pop with like hours. Does it really?

SPEAKER_04:

It takes a long time.

SPEAKER_00:

But with this boom, with this hype that's happening with the demon hunters, I think you'd make it killing.

SPEAKER_03:

It's the Netflix show.

SPEAKER_00:

You never watched it?

SPEAKER_03:

Uh no. My son's obsessed with that movie.

SPEAKER_00:

Where are you from? Well, you know what?

SPEAKER_04:

You've been busy, so my kids watch baddies and baddies as in like the show? Yeah. She's like, yeah. Like like kid shows.

SPEAKER_00:

Oh well, sorry. Well, she's she's She's too good for us.

SPEAKER_04:

She's I know.

SPEAKER_00:

Way too cool. Baddies is okay.

SPEAKER_04:

Uh my son is in a Godzilla phase, so that's all we've been watching.

SPEAKER_00:

Uh, okay.

SPEAKER_01:

Godzilla and King Kong.

SPEAKER_00:

Hey, HBO. HBO. Next question is doo doo doo doo. How do you know when you're not okay and what do you do about it?

SPEAKER_03:

I think I've gone through so many experiences in my life where I've learned a lot about myself and you know, like how to cope with certain things. So life experiences have taught me like where my limits are mentally. Um, so like when I'm feeling down or low or whatever, like we're hitting like, you know, a point where I'm just like mentally like I have it like pretty bad anxiety, and that's developed in like PTSD over the years and depression. Um, so I think just going through it and like because everyone's different, you know, with their limits about like their mental health. So I think it's just going through experiences, honestly. That's when you know what your limit is, and like when you gotta kind of take a step back and just redirect your mind, I guess. I don't know. No, no that's how I deal with it. I don't know. Uh I don't know.

SPEAKER_00:

Have you ever hit a limit to where you're like, damn, I'm finna crash? Well, I mean like legitimately like crash out.

SPEAKER_04:

Lots of times I've went through a divorce when I was 25 years old. I don't know how anybody can handle that mentally, emotionally. And I was all of four months postpartum when that's hard to be separated. So I just had things stacking up. I think those are like the times when you really have to pull it together when like things are just coming at you.

SPEAKER_03:

Especially being a mom too. You have to be able to You don't really have a choice.

SPEAKER_04:

Yeah, you don't have a choice. This is true. You either boss up and you handle your shit or it's gonna eat you alive and who knows what's gonna happen.

SPEAKER_00:

How did you guys cope well sorry how did you ladies cope with you know y'all crashing out? What got you back up? Is it was it like, did you guys have to go to therapy or was it one of those a self-reflective moment to where like, okay, I'm good again?

SPEAKER_04:

Um being that I still crash out.

SPEAKER_00:

Um Yeah, and then you become positive again. Yeah, like what do you what do you do, Anu in this Sydney?

SPEAKER_04:

You know, the thing with me is like I'm very aware of what I'm doing, when I'm doing it. So I might know that crashing out is not the solution. Like, yeah, I'm gonna temporarily feel better about a situation, but in the long run, does it really help you? No, absolutely not. But I'm gonna do it anyways because what are they gonna you know but I think when you have that self-awareness and you know what's going on and how you're reacting to things, that's how you can get better and you can improve. Like I still crash out occasionally, it's not as bad as before. So I like to see that as growth, but it's still there.

SPEAKER_03:

Like it's it's growth going through experiences. Oh like if you continue to do the same shit, you're not gonna get You know what I mean? A different album?

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, that uh I forgot who said it.

SPEAKER_04:

The definition of insanity. Yeah. Doing the same thing and expecting a different result.

SPEAKER_00:

Different result, yeah. Who said that?

SPEAKER_04:

Was it it was some smart white guy Albert Albert Einstein? There you go, yeah. I don't think he actually said that. But say that. Yeah. But yeah.

SPEAKER_00:

Is your man outside?

SPEAKER_04:

Uh-oh.

SPEAKER_00:

Oh. I locked it, so that's why. But if he is outside, you want to bring him in?

unknown:

Okay.

SPEAKER_00:

Okay. We ain't pausing. We're going to keep on going. Sydney, Sydney, Sydney. Next question. Um Okay, here we go. Uh how do you balance protecting your peace while still showing up for others?

SPEAKER_03:

Hmm. Uh well, I do go to therapy. Therapy helps a lot.

SPEAKER_00:

High five.

SPEAKER_03:

Yep.

unknown:

Yes.

SPEAKER_03:

Ain't no shame in that.

SPEAKER_00:

Ain't no shame. Especially as a man, ain't no shame.

SPEAKER_03:

No. And I think that we should normalize that. You know, definitely, especially men. It's it's getting like um normalizing those like uncomfortable conversations. Yeah. Because like when we were growing up, uh, I'm 33. Yeah, it's buried. Yeah, it's buried. Yeah, yeah. And it's kind of like you're you're raised to think like, okay, well, if you go to therapy, there's something wrong with you. But we're in a different day and age where there's so much shit going on in the world.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03:

That how can you not go to therapy? You know what I mean? Like it takes a huge toll on people mentally. And that's kind of why I don't watch the news anymore. I mean, like, I still keep up with some things, but I try to steer away from it because it does negatively like kind of impact me. Like it, it honestly, like, it's disheartening seeing all of the shit happening in the world right now.

SPEAKER_01:

Oh, this is true, yeah.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah, there's a lot.

SPEAKER_01:

Oh.

SPEAKER_03:

But yeah, therapy. Um, anxiety. I am on anxiety medication, not gonna lie, you know.

SPEAKER_00:

What goes on with so the question was, Anu, before you before uh you walked in was um holy crap, I forgot it. Um How do you uh where's that? Yeah, yeah, putting yourself for others. Yeah, like keeping your peace while showing while still showing up for others and stuff. That was a question. So she was talking about um uh therapy and then.

SPEAKER_04:

How do I find my peace before putting up for others? Um well this is literally my life, so I'm always gonna prioritize myself. Oh, that's good. I'm gonna prioritize myself. Uh-huh. And even with my kids, I can't be the best mom to them if I don't prioritize myself. Right. Uh-huh. You gotta put yourself first. That's just my thinking of it.

SPEAKER_00:

That's true. When you take your anxiety pills, um or cough drops, whatever it's whatever they do. Um do you do you see a difference within yourself? Like you went from huh to huh?

SPEAKER_03:

Not necessarily. I think that there's a difference between like depression pills and anxiety pills, and then there's like the combination kind.

SPEAKER_01:

Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_03:

Um, so for me, I used to have really bad panic attacks to like the point where I was like hyperventilating like just randomly. So it definitely keeps those at bay. I haven't had one in years. Um but as far as like my emotions, like you know, at first when my body and brain was getting used to it, I did feel a little bit more monotone. But as I got more used to it, I kind of like just um what is the word? I adjusted myself to it because I'm like, okay, well, in the back of my mind, I have to remember I'm on this medication for this reason, so it's gonna have its side effects. But I mean, overall, it's been really helpful for me.

SPEAKER_00:

Question with this, with these medications that you've been taking, um, have you had to take any urinalysis tests or whatnot?

SPEAKER_03:

No. For a job or um, I don't think it necessarily those the ones that I'm on, I mean, I don't it's like Xanax or like anything like that. It's like Okay. Oh how would I know? I know, right? Uh but no, it's it hasn't affect my like job or opportunities or anything like that. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00:

Okay. How would you want to? Have you ever taken any of those pills where you just get drunk get high? Um I mean, um, yeah, okay, sure, why not? Yeah.

SPEAKER_04:

Everybody knows that my coping was going out with my friends.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04:

Um, so that was my I didn't go to therapy when I was going through everything. Even though I probably should have, that probably would have been the more effective thing for me to do rather than going out and coping with it that way. But it worked, you know, so that's just what I did.

SPEAKER_00:

So everyone has like their own different ways of dealing.

SPEAKER_04:

Not that I thought that therapy was bad. It was just I didn't in that moment I didn't see a reason why I would do that when I had this other outlet. And then when I did reach like a point where going out was becoming counterproductive and it was actually bad for me, that's when I was like, okay, you need to figure your shit out.

SPEAKER_00:

Hmm. I like that one.

unknown:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah. It's um figuring things out on your own. It's um, it's like a it's like a double-edged sword. It's like one thing, it's like I like it. The next thing is like, damn, this kind of sucks. You feel me?

SPEAKER_03:

Just being aware, being mindful. Like, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00:

I really hate being mindful. Like, I want to be just ugh. No, I'm serious.

SPEAKER_04:

Like, it's easier to not be mindful. Yeah. It's like when you don't think about the consequences of things and whether it's good or bad consequences when you're not thinking mind, you're just doing it. I think that's when people are like at their happiest when they're not being mindful to things. But is it productive? Is it correct? Probably not. That's why he brought me to be his co-host.

SPEAKER_00:

Yes. Cause I would have been like, wrong. No. This is just going right this way. Next question. Have you ever felt like you were therapizing your partner? How did that impact the relationship?

SPEAKER_03:

Therapizing my partner.

SPEAKER_00:

As in like you were being your partner's therapist.

SPEAKER_03:

Oh yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00:

How how did that pan out? Huh?

SPEAKER_03:

I can't do that.

SPEAKER_00:

You can't?

SPEAKER_03:

I've done I've listened to felt like that. Like, you know, I've I've dated women, you know, like so dated women too. Like, you know, your friends are like, Oh, you should be, you should be gay. Like, I'll yeah, um, try it out. And then like, let's talk about it then, because you you're literally like a fucking therapist 25-8.

SPEAKER_01:

Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_03:

So, um, no, but I mean, not that it's a bad thing, because I love to talk about things too and like communicate, but there comes a point where it's like, holy shit, like, get help, get help.

SPEAKER_01:

Really?

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah, like you know, like it and when you tell like and that's where it goes back to like where you tell somebody like oh maybe you should go to therapy, and they're just like they get offended, right?

SPEAKER_01:

It's like it's like damn so much, yeah.

SPEAKER_04:

I think that also has to do with people's upbringing because a lot of people in Hawaii, we aren't from an affectionate family, we're not from a culture where we talk about our feelings, it's a lot of tough love. So when somebody is vulnerable, it's hard to accept their vulnerability. Like if somebody is poor, like somebody could be talking to me and I'd be like, girl, go to work.

SPEAKER_00:

I don't you know, like what you mean, like oh, she's broke and stuff.

SPEAKER_04:

It's like oh no, like if you're you could be hard on venting, and I'd be like, Okay, but you have like bigger problems, you could go to work or Oh, okay, okay, okay, okay.

SPEAKER_00:

So you're saying like there's bigger things to worry about than what you're telling me.

SPEAKER_04:

I think like that goes to like the whole hustling thing too, because like me, I'm not gonna let my emotions bring me down. I'm gonna be like, all right, well, I still got work, I gotta pick my kids up from school, I gotta do this, I gotta do that. Like, you don't have time to sit around and mo.

SPEAKER_01:

Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_04:

I like that. Yeah. But also like when somebody I want them to be vulnerable with me because that's the person that I care about, but it's just hard when you when you're not brought in that kind of environment. I think that's what a lot of Hawaii people struggle with, and that's why we have a lot of mental problems.

SPEAKER_03:

We have to explain though.

SPEAKER_04:

We do have to expand.

SPEAKER_01:

Oh yeah, this is true. This is true. True, true, true, true, true, true, true. True, true.

SPEAKER_00:

I had a freaking oh my god, I was gonna say something. Um you know what? I forgot. You said something about um people getting offended. People yeah, okay. You said something about people getting offended, right? Um, and I see that a lot out here. Like a lot of y'all, I I don't want to say all who want, but y'all can't take a joke. You know, like I be busting jokes. Well, I mean, okay, certain people just can't. Oh, you're it's like, oh, you fucking. I was like, no, no, dog, dog. I was just playing, I was just playing. Relax, relax, relax.

SPEAKER_03:

Are you talking about like guys though? Because there's a lot of guys out here that have small men syndrome.

SPEAKER_00:

Okay, yeah, that too. Being on it, yeah. No, that, and then I put, you know, like I pull like some stupid ass joke of like a five-head joke, right? And then a female would be like, What'd you say?

SPEAKER_01:

I'm like, yo, yo, yo, I was just playing. I think too because you're an outsider.

SPEAKER_00:

Man, but I got the look though. I could I could pull the look. I just can't pull the talk.

SPEAKER_04:

With uh, like me and Sydney, we could crack jokes about each other back and forth all day long. Yeah. But if a third party came in and were to say something to Sydney, I'd probably be like, What you fuck?

SPEAKER_00:

What you fuck uh what's up? Oh my god.

SPEAKER_04:

I think it's she knows I got hurt too. Yeah. So I think it's just perception to people. Like we can take jokes, but depending on who the person is, it's not funny. Oh, true. And it just I feel like that's with everybody. But I don't know. I feel like Hawaii people are the most I feel like we roast everybody. We we be we be talking.

SPEAKER_00:

Oh yeah, y'all do. And I I I be loving it. Cause like y'all, y'all women, right, could go on a guy be like, oh, porky, this and that. And I'm like, oh shit. And then yeah, it's just I love hearing women snap on guys. Because that happens a lot in the military. Especially like local mo women in the military going in on you know, some bratas, hammas, whatever you want to call them. It's funny as fuck to be on the outside looking on in. Holy shit.

SPEAKER_04:

Girls in Hawaii are built different. We were raised. I love it. Hey, raised by our brothers and uncles, and our grandmas were raised by their dad, so it we be them.

SPEAKER_00:

Hey, we be damn. Sydney, question. Um, hopefully this doesn't um tap you the wrong way. Uh pause. Um, the uh you dabbled in women and men. So my my question is is like, what's the difference, like mental state, when it came to y'all's arguments, y'all's you know, like the whole mental health thing. What was different when y'all was um in relations?

SPEAKER_03:

Well, women are very emotional.

SPEAKER_00:

So they're not logical thinkers.

SPEAKER_03:

We are logical thinkers.

SPEAKER_00:

But you said they were just emotional.

SPEAKER_03:

But no, I'm not just emotional. We're very emotional compared to men. I don't think men are very logical.

SPEAKER_00:

Hold up! Okay, no, we're gonna get into this, motherfucker. So what what what you mean we're not logical? So you're saying that we're emotional?

SPEAKER_03:

Let's talk about common sense. Let's bring that back up.

SPEAKER_00:

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_03:

I'm I'm a com- not all men are I'm not saying all, but majority of men of Hawaiian men?

SPEAKER_00:

Have you dated a white or a brother?

SPEAKER_03:

That was my that's my type, or that's like a white? A white? No, it's like local boys are yeah.

SPEAKER_00:

Okay, so it's Hawaiian men in general. Not a brother from the hood. But uh okay, okay, so they're they're not logical then, right? They're all emotional.

SPEAKER_03:

Women, I'm just saying com comparing men and women, women are definitely more emotional. So it when it comes to mental health or arguments, it would be on a more emotional level. Does that make sense?

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, tears and all.

SPEAKER_03:

Sometimes, yeah. Okay, you know, and then once when you're a woman, you sync with another woman, and then it's like it makes it worse.

SPEAKER_00:

Yes.

SPEAKER_03:

I'm just being honest.

SPEAKER_00:

I've heard this before. Um, my and this is funny, my daughter, when I was in California for my daughter's graduation, my sister was with me as well, and my daughter and my sister, they're super close. And while I was out there, they were synced. And I was like, what the hell?

unknown:

It's a thing.

SPEAKER_00:

It is no, it is. I was like, wow, this this shit I learn everything every day. Yeah. So women more more emotional guys, emotional when the argument was happening.

SPEAKER_04:

Some are emotional, yeah. I think guys like to portray a more harder figure towards women, so they don't like to be emotionally vulnerable or whatever. So they're just gonna, you know what, if it's an argument, it's this or that. There's no we're fixers.

SPEAKER_00:

Like we're majority of us, we're fixers. We want to get it done.

SPEAKER_04:

Like, what's the problem? Okay, here's the solution, not what's the feeling behind the problem. Yeah, and women like to drag things out. Women are more like, okay, I need this, this, this. Yeah, we need all the details. This is the underlying problems to this one problem, and this is why I'm feeling the way I'm feeling, and that's what if do women let's say if the details weren't there, you miss one detail.

SPEAKER_00:

In a argument, do y'all jump on that one small detail? Like you forgot a detail.

SPEAKER_04:

Elaborate real much. Um give us the deets. I went out the details.

SPEAKER_00:

I went out with my boys, I had a good time. Sorry for not calling. I got drunk. Detail. Uh, I went out at a club, there's some females there, they bought us some shots, I got drunk, sorry for not calling. That little detail of not calling uh the females. Jumping on that, yeah. Yep, yeah. Okay, respectable. I'll I yeah. That's the transparency of a relationship.

SPEAKER_04:

You gotta, yeah, we're you know, see, but the thing is, had you been like honest up front, I think we had this conversation where people just be straight up about what happened.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, being transparent, yeah.

SPEAKER_04:

Then there's really no reason to get mad unless there were ill intentions. Like, yeah, were you canoodling with said females or what? Because why did you keep it out the first time?

SPEAKER_00:

What if I would say but but but what if it was like one of those details where you thought it wasn't important? Like, let's say you went the the boy you went with the boys bowling, right? Yeah, you thought it was just you and the boys, the boys and started inviting females, therefore you're just like, who the fuck are these ladies? Whatever, I'm still with the boys, yada yada yada. You forgetting to put in put in the oh, my boys brought some of their female friends in, why would that be an issue to um said to pro pro relationship partner?

SPEAKER_04:

I think it comes down to respecting. The respecting, huh? Definitely. Because if I'm going out, then I'm gonna let you know XYZ. You know, because I would just want the same thing. I think if you have this conversation, like there are people who are like, okay, cool, like whatever. Like, even if they they find out after the fact they're like, whatever, it's not a big deal. But there's some people who expect that level of communication. If your partner expects that, then it's a different story. Like if I if homie went out and I found out girls came, it would be a problem if you didn't tell me. Because if it were a reverse, I'm sure he would want to know. But that's just our relationship, you know what I mean? But like you and your wife, if you went out and some girls came with your friends, your wife probably would be like, Whatever. Right.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04:

But that's your guys' relationship.

SPEAKER_03:

You know, it it you can't different.

SPEAKER_00:

The dynamic of a relationship is different different.

SPEAKER_03:

It's also like we're on an island and everyone knows everyone. So it's like if I'm out here doing this, you're gonna make me look stupid, and I'm not about that. Yeah, you know what I mean? So, like she said, it's a level of respect. Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_00:

How evil how easy it is to like say find someone doing something wrong?

SPEAKER_04:

On an island?

SPEAKER_00:

On an island, yeah.

SPEAKER_04:

I'll find out in about 30 seconds.

SPEAKER_00:

30 seconds, huh?

SPEAKER_04:

That fast.

SPEAKER_00:

Oh, shh balls, shit balls. How about you, Sydney?

SPEAKER_03:

Like, do instantaneous, and if I don't find out, she will.

SPEAKER_00:

Oh, really? So it's like that. The communication is like everyone likes to meta test over here, huh?

SPEAKER_04:

There's only so much you can do. There's only so many people that you know, and everybody knows everybody. Even if you don't know them, they know somebody who knows you type stuff. So it's through the grapevine, you're gonna hear something.

SPEAKER_00:

True that. But I got a question from uh this is uh from someone. I'm not gonna say if it's a guy or a girl. The question is, and this person put uh elaborated on some stuff. It says, I'm a 35-year-old with a family. I fell in love with someone while I was away on a work trip. Nothing happened. This happened in 2023. Why am I still thinking about this person and how do I get out of this feeling?

unknown:

What?

SPEAKER_00:

So, from what I'm reading, the person's 35, he or she has a family. She um he or she was on a work trip, I guess, maybe started question. Started talking, huh? We are the same question. Yeah, yeah, okay, yeah. So why do you think this person fell for that other person without any physical contact?

SPEAKER_03:

I'm not sure because I'm a monogamous person.

SPEAKER_00:

Oh, that monogamy is a motherfucker, huh?

SPEAKER_03:

So I'm not, yeah, I wouldn't I don't know.

SPEAKER_00:

Huh. Um, explain to people that uh monogamy, what is that?

SPEAKER_03:

With your if you're with somebody, you're with somebody.

SPEAKER_00:

Okay. That's monogamy.

SPEAKER_03:

Just that person. In my eyes, like I'm I, you know, it's like just being loyal.

SPEAKER_01:

Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_03:

That's I I'm not into all this thruple fucking weird unicorn bullshit that's going on in the world now. What is it called? Polyomeris or whatever? I'm like, uh no, not a pass. Legamus.

SPEAKER_04:

What? Polygamus.

SPEAKER_03:

Polygamus.

SPEAKER_00:

Polygamus. Polygamy. How do you help this person out then? This person's feeling some type of way. What is what is the best medicine for this cat?

SPEAKER_04:

Remember when we talked about like how women emotionally detach when they're not feeling like they could be in a relationship, they emotionally detach and that's how they leave.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04:

Like the emotions come first, whatever. I think this person went on a work trip, and whatever was missing from her marriage or his or her marriage, she found it in this person who she met, even if it wasn't physical or nothing, like you can have a connection with somebody just by their personality. But do you act on that? No, because you are married. Yeah, you can still think about this person, but I wouldn't go as far to say you're in love with this person. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, let's talk to we talked about that. How do how does one not think about this person anymore then? Like, what's what are your coping mechanisms mechanisms on like detaching from fix whatever you're missing in your marriage with your spouse?

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah. Yeah. Whatever. Hear that.

SPEAKER_00:

You hear that?

SPEAKER_03:

I mean, I know it's not easy to leave if you're married for however long, whatever, every situation is different, but if you're obviously like wandering for someone else or lusting or whatever, yearning for someone else, then there's something missing, like how she said, like go and fix whatever's missing in your marriage, or go to counseling, or divorce. Like, you know, like you have options. Yeah, you do.

SPEAKER_00:

Oh, speaking of counseling, this um someone asked this too. Do you think couples should go to therapy together even if nothing is wrong?

SPEAKER_03:

I don't think there's anything wrong with that. Oh. Well, I mean, I don't I don't think like now.

SPEAKER_00:

Flat out, man.

SPEAKER_03:

I don't think there's anything wrong with that because, like, you know, if you have if you want longevity, yeah, like it could be cool to go to mar like counseling or whatever and see how you could like spice it up or you know, like keep your your relationship or your marriage interesting, you know. To I that's just my opinion though, because I I don't like my mom and my stepdad have been married for over 20 years, and I'm just like, damn.

SPEAKER_04:

So, like, you would be going to counseling to prevent having problems. If there's not a problem, I don't see why you would go to counseling.

SPEAKER_00:

Maybe it's um see I I I was I was having uh a doozy with this question too. Maybe it's because y'all know that y'all can communicate a little bit more, therefore you need someone unbiased to the mediator, like yeah, to teach.

SPEAKER_04:

So, like there's not an established problem, but yeah, there's something that you can't like. Well then if you think there's a problem, there's a problem. Yeah, yeah. If there's no problem, chat GPT. Go ask chat GPT.

SPEAKER_00:

Hey no, hey, ain't nothing wrong with that. I've been asking chat GPT a whole lot of shit.

SPEAKER_04:

Oh, I'd be replying to people with chat GPT.

SPEAKER_00:

Respectfully.

SPEAKER_04:

I've a screenshot in chat. Chat, give me a thoughtful, non-bitchy answer. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00:

Please and thank you.

SPEAKER_03:

Rewrite this in a more professional manner.

SPEAKER_00:

Oh god. Okay, here goes uh here goes another one. Oh, do do do. Why oh wow, this is this is from a female. Why does it take a long time for a man to fall in love with someone?

SPEAKER_04:

That's not true. My man was in love after day two. He don't love you, sis. Move on.

SPEAKER_00:

Uh, okay, whatever, Anu. Okay, not everyone's like Anu. She's just not wrong. Oh, for real.

SPEAKER_04:

So if a per if a if a man loves you, then I think if a man really loves you, it he knows.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04:

Like, I don't think it should be this long process. Like, the people who can't commit that figure it out on your own. I'm not gonna be I'm not gonna drag through this whatever's going on with you where you can't commit thing. You figure it out and let me know.

SPEAKER_00:

I like that answer. How about you, sir? Do you have do you have anything to caveat off that? Off that. Caveat off that.

SPEAKER_03:

Um therapy. I agree with her. Therapy.

SPEAKER_00:

I think a man loves a woman because like I think it's when we know when we could get that same type of love in return. You know, it could mean like I've fallen in love with you in two weeks, maybe two years or whatever. But if we could because in a woman, and this is like pertaining to me, just me, I'm not trying to get like a good credit score out to you. I'm not seeing if you could like put a down payment on my whip. If I could see that you could give like that same love back, like the whole respect thing, and you got my back type of scenario, then I think that's when I'm like, oh shit, I'm in.

SPEAKER_04:

Mind you, we're talking about men, not boys. Period.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah. Yeah, that's yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_04:

So boys, play games, men don't.

SPEAKER_00:

Ah. What games do boys like to play? Sydney. Because wait, have you dated a younger guy?

SPEAKER_03:

No.

SPEAKER_00:

No, always older, older, or your age?

SPEAKER_03:

Older, it's usually like around the same age as me, or maybe like a little bit, a couple years older. I've never But you've never done a young I like the younger boys.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, we all know. We all know Anu likes the younger ones. I can't I can't do it.

SPEAKER_03:

I can't do it for the exact reason she just said that like boys just play games.

SPEAKER_04:

Like, I'm at the point in my life where Yeah, it's I think when I when I say boys and men, I'm not talking about an age, I'm not talking about like a goal for like a high school. Okay, I'm not talking about that. I'm talking about the mentality that tell the difference between a boy and a man by their priorities. So I'm saying if if you wanna commit to a man, he's gonna know he's in love with you by not not too long, you know. When you said two years, I'm like, Chris, when did you know you're in love with your wife?

SPEAKER_00:

Uh when she moved out. Okay, okay. Backstory. She her her and her kid, um, she was going through a divorce. I was like, yo, you and your kid could stay with me because I had my own crib at the time. Um before that, she knew I was I was a whore, you know, like we were friends, you know what I'm saying? She had a husband. I was single, let me be single. You feel me? So she knew that. Um, I haven't lived with a with a female in like so long. So in this house, it was just me, my brother, and my seed, right? Um, it came to the point where I had to tell her, I was like, yo, you can stay with me for a little bit longer, but you and your kid not gotta go. Like you guys, I'm not I'm not gonna kick you guys out until you find a spot, but y'all need to go because I can't. I can't.

SPEAKER_04:

So you guys started off as roommates then? We started like kind of kind of sort of like just a friendship.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, it was a friendship, yeah. Cause yeah, we were friends before we started uh canoodling and all that, and then so come to uh you know, we still were talking, her her divorce finally got final and stuff. Uh man, me being a guy, I was going through my like I was acting like a single guy, and when she was like, yo, I'm done, I'm like, cool, bet, I'm done. It took me like, I guess, we were not together for like a like six months to a year. That gap of us not talking and me going through like, damn, this is exhausting. Like, taking a female out, trying to get to know this female. Um, am I gonna like should I introduce this female to to my little one? Should I introduce her to the boys? Like, it's exhausting, and everyone knew my wife at that time because we're we're dance mates. She was like, we're on the dance team. So um, yeah, when we were when we're split, it was a drunken high night, and I was just like, dude, I need to fucking be more respectable, especially when I'm trying to raise a daughter the right way. I can't be having X, Y, Z, A, B, and C type of females coming out of my room and she's waking up and saying, Dad, who's this? My friend is not gonna like I want to take my friend so far until she's like, Oh, fucking have it, yeah. You know what I'm saying? So yeah, I it was that time where so when you first met your wife, you're a boy.

SPEAKER_04:

Yeah, I was a boy, then you're a man.

SPEAKER_00:

I was a freaking horny guy. No, you know what? I was the boy when it came to the bedroom stuff, not the bedroom, but like the the relationship stuff. Right. I was I'm a man when it came to like raising my kids.

SPEAKER_04:

Very well established, yeah, like manly in all of those parts. But when I'm talking about boys in relationships, like that kind of thing.

SPEAKER_00:

I was a fucking I was a super boy, you know what I'm saying? I was the boy's a boy, but yeah, it took me a while for me to like finally get out of that, and yeah. So now it's like she would write, she would bust cracks and oh, you have another model on the pot? I'm like, you know, it is what it is, like yeah, whatever. It's just her little cracks and shit. And I like those little playful things, you know what I'm saying? Because I be busting on her ass too, you know? Yeah, you know what I'm saying? One plus one ain't four, motherfucker. Well, but anywho. What do y'all think of um couples like cracking on each other like that? Like when you hear, like, say, you're walking, you hear a couple cracking on each other, and it's like super almost like disrespectful shit. Are you the type of people that would, hey, what the fuck did you say to your girl, or you just let it ride on your life?

SPEAKER_04:

Depends if it's in like a playful manner. Like if you can tell, like, because we'd be roasting each other. Yeah, me and my boyfriend. Same. But if it got to a point where you can hear the tone and you can see somebody's uncomfortable, then I'd probably be like, bro, you better chill. Like, if I know the couple, I'd I'd be like, bro, you better chill.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah. Like there's a there's a line you don't cross, like there's a point you don't go past. You know what I mean? Like, and if like if I'm with my person and we're like, you know, fucking around, like roasting each other, and if there's something I don't like, I'm like, okay, that's that's fucking enough. I don't like that shit.

SPEAKER_00:

What's y'all's trigger word? Do you guys have a trigger word?

SPEAKER_03:

No.

SPEAKER_00:

Mine's bitch. Like when, like, if I hear anyone calls me a bitch or something, I'm like, okay.

SPEAKER_04:

Oh, I think mine is a C. C.

SPEAKER_00:

Like the European B.

SPEAKER_04:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00:

Oh. It's can't, but you know, you separate the A with a different vowel.

SPEAKER_04:

Calls me the C word. Oh.

SPEAKER_00:

Why is that? Why is that? Like, what I don't know.

SPEAKER_04:

I say I feel like it's a dirty word.

SPEAKER_00:

Like it is But Europeans use it so loosely.

SPEAKER_04:

Am I European?

SPEAKER_00:

No, I mean I'm just saying.

SPEAKER_04:

God damn it. Oh no.

SPEAKER_00:

That's why, hey, that's why, hey, that's why I got it wrong. She's like, motherfucker. Do I look white? You know what I'm saying? Hawaiian up in this motherfucker. Sorry. Okay, okay. And you say the C-word.

SPEAKER_04:

I feel like it's a cultural thing. Like, I've I think it's pretty common for people, like when you want to be disrespectful, that's what people say.

SPEAKER_00:

Is that for you too, Sid?

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00:

Oh, okay. Wow.

unknown:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00:

On the mainland, it's not.

SPEAKER_04:

Like, we'd be bitch, girl, bitch.

SPEAKER_03:

Somebody could call me a bitch and it'd be like, fuck that. If a guy calls me a bitch, then I'm like, okay, no. But if my like a girl calls me a bitch, like playing around like bitch. I'm fine with that. I don't know if that's like a double standard, but it is a double standard.

SPEAKER_00:

Let me ask you this. Let me ask you this. Gay guy calling you bitch.

SPEAKER_03:

That's like one of my girls.

SPEAKER_04:

Okay, but it depends. Like, are they calling me like bitch or is it bitch? Yeah, period. It's a tone.

SPEAKER_00:

It's a tone.

SPEAKER_03:

It's a tone.

SPEAKER_00:

Okay, let me ask you. Let me ask you this. I've seen this.

SPEAKER_03:

The delivery.

SPEAKER_00:

The delivery. I've seen this on TikTok. Straight guy acting gay, getting your number. Can that work?

SPEAKER_04:

No, because she's gay.

SPEAKER_00:

She can see right through the title. But I'm just saying, like, she's walking, she's like, bitch, you're looking, you're slaying. It's like, yes, girl, bitch. Yeah, this this they're and be like, all right, man, can I get your number that let me take you out?

SPEAKER_03:

I would have walked the fuck away. Would you? Be like, what's wrong?

SPEAKER_00:

Like, okay.

SPEAKER_03:

I'm sorry. I probably would have been like, bitch.

SPEAKER_00:

You wouldn't get you wouldn't get it. You wouldn't get a laugh. I would have got a laugh out of that shit.

SPEAKER_04:

No, I would I think it would have been funny because like I I like to laugh. So if you can make me laugh, then you're not gonna be able to do it.

SPEAKER_03:

It's like you said it's a delivery though. Like if you're intentionally like acting gay and like that's your first like attempt to try to like then I'd be like, uh she's gay.

SPEAKER_00:

So are are you like are you full-blown on the other side or are you still you you still playing both sides of the field? Um is that okay to ask? Yeah. Are you cool with that? Okay.

SPEAKER_03:

I'm open. I mean, like, I honestly I was like, what am I saying? I was what am I trying what is the word?

SPEAKER_00:

Experimenting?

SPEAKER_04:

No. Um I feel like bisexual people are more into like the vibe, like the person. It doesn't matter if you're a boy or a girl. Ain't that pansexual then? I don't fucking know.

SPEAKER_03:

So very as a fucking arrow. Yeah, oh my goodness.

SPEAKER_04:

There are two gender. Okay, we don't talk about politics, right?

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah, God, what'd I tell you about that?

SPEAKER_00:

Sorry, Daddy.

SPEAKER_03:

Um, but no, uh so I I you know I think that my main I I identified as like lesbian, you know. But I don't want to say like if the it's it's gonna take a very special guy to be in my life in order to change that. And um, you know, if if it happens, it happens, but your preference will be females.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah. Story time. I've uh I have a friend that was going through something. He uh he met this uh I guess at this time she was a lesbian, right? They uh they were working together, they yeah, they were working together very closely, nothing happened. He would talk to her as a dude, as a motherfucker, right? She would do the same. Come to like say months of like just say talk because they're so like they have so many common interests and shit. There's their vibing. Him, he dropped, you know, like his walls, you know, around his little heart. And um, he started liking the female because she was a lesbian, he was like, fuck it, it's just a little crush. I don't give a fuck, you know what I'm saying? It's just you know, I'm intrigued finding out that this lesbian started to have feelings for the guy too, and she's a lesbian too. So um now they found out that they both like each other, and now she's dating like guys because of the way he treated her as like a normal We're all just human, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But no, I'm just saying it was it was like it's But when you were telling that it reminded me of that story of like my homeboy and that's where like now I'm just like you know, I you love who you love, you know what I mean?

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah, like I don't wanna I don't think that your main identity should be what you your preference is because if someone comes into your life that's special and makes you feel that type of way and you know it in your heart, then fuck it. Like, you know what I mean?

SPEAKER_00:

It clears your it clears your brain too, especially the whole cloudiness of what is and oh should I do this, should I do that? Just follow your guidance and yeah.

SPEAKER_03:

People are so like microscopic about your identity, but it's just like you like in my opinion, it's like you love what you love. That's where I'm at now. Because before I used to be like, uh, am I bi? Am I gay? Am I straight? You know what I mean? But now I'm just like you love what you love.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, you know, and sexual now. Shut up, Anu.

SPEAKER_00:

Oh, okay, okay. I don't even know what that's on the last. I gotta Google it. Anu, you ain't ready for this smoke. You ain't ready for this smoke, Anu. I'm gonna get on ass. Let me ask you, let me ask you this. This might be a little personal. Your son, right? Um, is he around when you are with these other relationships?

SPEAKER_03:

Um, only if they're long term. No, I do not bring him around random people.

SPEAKER_00:

Okay.

SPEAKER_03:

That's not that's not my thing.

SPEAKER_00:

So does is he cool with mommy's orientation then at that moment? Yeah.

SPEAKER_03:

Because I'm raising him the same way. Like, you know, if if you want to play with girl toys, if you like demon hunters and whatever the fuck, like you like what you like. I don't care. Yeah, I'm gonna let you be your own person. Yeah, you know, and I think that's like a huge part of like it shows his character too because it prevents him. In my in my eyes, it's like it prevents him from being a bully.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03:

Like teaching him that and instilling that in him.

SPEAKER_00:

Does that make sense? No, that definitely it's like spot on because my my son, my nine-year-old, he's like that because of his little sister, the seven-year-old. The seven-year-old's like super girly, but I'm telling, you know, they go to school together, they're together a lot. I'm like, yo, it's cool, man. Like, I'm telling him straight up, like, it's cool. And then I'd be playing tea time too. Like, I'm sitting with the motherfucking what was it called? Atara. Tara? Tara. Tara. I'm with a tiara too. Yeah. Nah, that shit will only fit around my leg. You know what I'm saying? It'll be funny as fuck if I try to put on my waist, girl. I'm telling you that right now. No, but I be showing them like, yo, it's okay to be feminine, you know, like because I'm like that with my wife too. Like, I like to I like to mess around and shit. I'm I ain't putting on her drawers or anything, but I'd be putting on like a bra here too, you know what I'm saying? Just fuck around.

SPEAKER_03:

And like be funny. Yeah, yeah. Like it goes back to what Anna was saying about being raised um a certain way and with your upbringing and not being able to be vulnerable. So I'm trying to do the opposite of what I was raised through. So I don't I don't ever want my son to have to feel what like certain things that I felt growing up, you know? So I'm trying to do the opposite. Breaking those generational curses.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, you know how hard it is like to be vulnerable, like growing up because I'd be like a man. Oh yeah, because uh uh I grew up with like at a single like my dad. I only grew up with my dad, and my dad was like, he played both mom and dad. So it was like hard for me to like be like sensitive at times, especially like I have a s a younger sister because it was all more like man, stop being a bit, you know, stop being this, stop being that. Yeah, just fucking handle it. And like, of course, yeah, we did. But like not having that sensitive side, I don't know. It's just I guess that's why a lot of men are just like go, go, go, go. We're like, we're fixers, yeah, you know? So yeah, it's all seven to that. But City, do you have anything for us before we um we dip out or anything? That shit was fun. It was fine. That was like over like an hour and some change. Yeah, it went by fast. It did. Yeah. Do you have any questions or no? You sure? You want to like hit on like a topic or two? Did we hit what we wanted to hit?

SPEAKER_03:

No, for the most part, yeah.

SPEAKER_00:

Oh, well, what's No, I mean like we did.

SPEAKER_03:

We went over like, you know, vulnerability, like mental health stuff. Um yeah. I'm good.

SPEAKER_00:

You sure? Yeah. Honor, you got anything?

SPEAKER_04:

I'm chat GPTing what a pansexual is.

SPEAKER_00:

Did it tell you?

unknown:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04:

A pansexual person is someone who experiences romantic or sexual attraction to people regardless of their sex or gender identity. So it's bisexual. Your boy is smart.

SPEAKER_00:

Let me get a dough. Just let me get that one. Let me get that one. I get that one. I get that one. Your boy's smart.

SPEAKER_04:

Okay, what's the color of the pansexual on the rainbow flag then?

SPEAKER_00:

Motherfucker, yellow. You see how confident that was? Yellow. Am I right?

SPEAKER_04:

I don't know.

SPEAKER_00:

Oh, yeah. Oh my god, your boy. Mm-mm-mm. I said yellow because I don't know. Because in isn't it in flags? Yellow's like in the middle. Because it goes from red to like a blue or some shit. I don't know. Are you looking it up? Yeah. Man, fucking chat GPT on that? Oh. You don't know.

SPEAKER_01:

What the fuck? Was that right? No. Oh. Was I off?

SPEAKER_04:

Okay, first of all, here if you didn't know what the pride flag stands for, okay? Red is for life, orange is for healing, yellow is for sunlight. Green is for green is for nature, blue is for harmony and peace, and purple is for spirit.

SPEAKER_00:

Ain't that a bitch, man? I was so fucking off, boy. Of course yellow is for.

SPEAKER_04:

Okay, it's just that's what it's just symbolic. Symbolic. Oh shit, everybody needs a gay flag then.

SPEAKER_00:

Oh my gosh, I have several.

SPEAKER_04:

My name means rainbow.

SPEAKER_00:

Anu means rainbow.

SPEAKER_04:

Anuinui.

SPEAKER_00:

Cool. Say it again?

SPEAKER_04:

Anuinui.

SPEAKER_00:

Anuinui?

SPEAKER_04:

Yep.

SPEAKER_00:

Am I saying it right?

SPEAKER_04:

Yep.

SPEAKER_00:

Spell the last part.

SPEAKER_04:

Anu e.

unknown:

Anuinui.

SPEAKER_00:

Okay. Cool. Sorry. Do you have a Hawaiian name? Oh, just Sydney. Thank fucking god. No play. I'll play. I'll play it, play, I'm playing. What's your ethnicity before we dip?

SPEAKER_03:

I am Caucasian and Japanese.

SPEAKER_00:

Caucasian and Japanese. Japanese.

SPEAKER_03:

Not Hawaiian.

SPEAKER_00:

Um, hold up, hold up, hold up. I learned this. Uh hoppa. No? Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03:

Half.

SPEAKER_00:

Hoppa. Half of it.

SPEAKER_03:

Half a white and half something else.

SPEAKER_00:

Half of a pa. That's what a pa is. If you don't know what hoppa is, it's half of a something. Hell yeah. Where can these people find you at? And do you have any shout outs, Miss Cindy?

SPEAKER_03:

444 Hawaii.

SPEAKER_00:

Spell it out.

SPEAKER_03:

Is it four and then number four? Numerical four.

SPEAKER_00:

Numerical four.

SPEAKER_03:

Hawaii.

SPEAKER_00:

Hawaii. Regular spelling. Why okay, before we dip, why is it F-O-R-T-Y and not F-O-U-R-T-Y? What's what was the difference? Don't know, huh? Right?

SPEAKER_03:

I thought that that's how I've been spelling 40 my whole life.

SPEAKER_00:

Have you spelled 40 that way?

SPEAKER_03:

Pretty sure. No.

SPEAKER_00:

Want to chat GPT that? I've seen 40. F-O-U-R-T.

unknown:

40. 40.

SPEAKER_00:

Was that Siri? Siri, you bitch. Yeah, comments is not so funny. Hey, comments. It wasn't coming in this room.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah, I'm Siri. It was just like, you know.

SPEAKER_00:

It's like you dumbfuck. Oh my god. For real.

SPEAKER_04:

We were hoping you're all the best that you were like. And that's why. And that's why Siri is done and we just use chat GPT.

SPEAKER_00:

Yes. Facts. KO Studios, thank you for the lovely home. Rafi Bite. Thank you for the lovely vibes, man. With that being said, I'm Chris.

SPEAKER_04:

I'm Anu.

unknown:

I'm Sydney.

SPEAKER_00:

And we out this bitch. Peace.

unknown:

What was that?

SPEAKER_04:

What the fuck? How do you spell 40? Okay, you see, the 40 was always spelled L R T Y.

Head Shot

Chris L

Host
Head Shot

J

Co-host