More Than His Girlfriend: Fitness, Influence & Finding Your Own Identity with Maka

People love to talk about “discipline” like it’s just willpower, but the truth is messier: schedules, stress, relationships, and social media all shape how we show up. I sit down with Maka to get real about what it actually takes to protect your me time, stay consistent, and build a career that fits who you’re becoming. We bounce from early mornings and late nights into the deeper stuff: what you owe yourself when life gets busy and nobody’s coming to save your calendar for you. 

Maka shares her path through entrepreneurship and career pivots, from beauty and esthetics to re-centering fitness and working toward becoming a certified personal trainer. We talk personal branding, switching niches on social media, losing followers, and the confidence it takes to keep going anyway. If you’ve ever thought about moving away for school or work, her Las Vegas lessons bring a grounded look at money, independence, and rebuilding momentum when plans change. 

Then we get into relationship communication, because none of this happens in a vacuum. We dig into accountability, tone, venting versus problem solving, and why “I’m silent because I don’t want it to get worse” can still land like distance. We also talk about body image pressure, “looking the part,” and what it feels like when people see you as someone’s partner before they see you as your own person. 

If you’re into relationship advice, fitness mindset, entrepreneurship, and social media boundaries, hit play and take something useful from every chapter. Subscribe for more, share this with a friend who needs it, and leave a review with the one communication habit you’re working on right now.

• early mornings versus late nights and how we protect quiet time
• juggling business, studying, and relationships without burning out
• pivoting from esthetics to fitness and rebuilding after losing followers
• body image pressure on social media and “looking the part” standards
• handling likes, comments, and online conflict without spiraling
• communicating truth with better tone and avoiding disrespect
• venting versus problem solving and saying what you actually need
• being seen as someone’s partner first and staying grounded in your own identity

Transcript

Cold Open And Introductions

SPEAKER_00 0:06

Ready? 4321. Welcome back to another episode of the Relationship Method podcast. It's your boy Chris. Today I got a special guest. Were you laughing?

SPEAKER_01 0:19

No.

SPEAKER_00 0:20

Hey man. I got Maka up in this bitch.

SPEAKER_03 0:25

Yay!

SPEAKER_00 0:27

How you doing, girl?

SPEAKER_03 0:28

I'm good. How are you?

SPEAKER_00 0:30

Oh, I'm doing fantastic. Fantastic. We were talking earlier. Um, I pooped several times today. Miss Mogover hasn't pooped yet.

SPEAKER_03 0:38

It's still early.

SPEAKER_00 0:40

Motherfucker, wait, you know what?

SPEAKER_03 0:42

What?

SPEAKER_00 0:42

It's 2 30. What's that's still early? Are you more of a night person or a morning person?

SPEAKER_03 0:49

I try to be a morning person.

SPEAKER_00 0:51

She tries.

SPEAKER_03 0:52

I try.

SPEAKER_00 0:53

You try.

SPEAKER_03 0:54

Yeah, but yeah, I'm a night person.

SPEAKER_00 0:57

Mmm. When you say night, like what time's bedtime?

SPEAKER_03 1:00

I mean if I try. I try to sleep by midnight.

SPEAKER_00 1:06

Girl, I'm in bed by like seven, eight o'clock. Mm-mm. She got that shit.

SPEAKER_03 1:11

How do you do that? Like, I I don't know. I can't. Like, I don't know.

SPEAKER_00 1:16

I'll be honest with you. My day starts at 1.30, 2 o'clock AM.

SPEAKER_03 1:21

What?

SPEAKER_00 1:22

Yes.

SPEAKER_03 1:23

Oh, military. That's a good idea.

SPEAKER_00 1:25

Well, i I blame it on the military, but that's But wait, that's still really early. Yeah. Well, I'll tell you this. It's because I value like I'm a family man. And I've said this on the pod several times. Like, I value my me time. So from the time I wake up until I gotta get the kids ready for school. That's the only me time I have.

SPEAKER_03 1:48

Oh, that makes yeah, that makes sense.

SPEAKER_00 1:50

Because, you know, you're a businesswoman. Like, you I have the typical nine to five. After that nine to five, it's all kids and family, right? Kids and the wife. So spend time with the wife, make food for the kids, clean the house, and then by that time comes seven or eight, that's our bedtime, yeah. Um I end up crashing.

SPEAKER_03 2:09

Yeah. No, I I can see that. My brother-in-law, he um he does a lot too, and then he has kids and a wife and everything. So he said he wakes up at like three to do like cardio. Three, and then he goes to work, and then he comes home to take care of his kids, and then all that, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 2:28

Oh girl, when is your me time? Me time is super important. When is your me time, Miss Maka?

SPEAKER_03 2:35

Well, my me time tends to be like at night.

SPEAKER_00 2:41

Really?

SPEAKER_03 2:42

Yeah. I mean, right now. But there was a moment like this year I was like getting up at like 6 a.m. every morning to like get my workout in and stuff, but a lot has changed, so I don't I got like super busy, so I don't always get to wake up like early four myself. Um because I always end up like working at night. But you know, life is hard. Make it harder, start a business, you know, like yeah, you know that saying, yeah. So I'm actually like running a running a new business and studying. So whenever I'm like working, it's always throughout the day, and then at night I'm studying and then I go to sleep. So I'm like, when is there me time? Probably never. But I just figure it out.

SPEAKER_00 3:34

Girl, life is all about figuring out, like, no lie. Um you said studying. Are you

Me Time And Sleep Schedules

SPEAKER_00 3:40

studying for school or just you're studying to master the craft that you're doing right now?

SPEAKER_03 3:45

I'm so I graduated with um a degree in business management administration. Thank you. Go ahead, girl. And then um I'm currently studying to become a certified personal trainer.

SPEAKER_00 3:58

Oh shit. Yeah. Is it that difficult to be to study for an occupation like that?

SPEAKER_03 4:04

Um, well, another thing about me is I'm also an esthetician, so that was uh Mom. I I whenever I want to do something, I figure it out. Like I just, you know, but it it wasn't my path. But that that was a lot to study for, and I feel like nothing I learned had anything to do with what I do.

SPEAKER_01 4:24

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 4:24

Um, so of course you're like whenever you do anything in school, you get a lot of that. A lot of but it's good knowledge to have, like background knowledge. So right now I'm only like halfway through it.

SPEAKER_01 4:35

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 4:35

So I'm not really too sure yet what's gonna come. But so far it's a lot of things that I already know, so that's a good sign.

SPEAKER_00 4:46

Let me ask you something personal, Miss Maka. Um this uh this path, right, that you was originally on, what in you know, going on this path, what made you tr traject to like the aesthetician? Because you just said that you're doing something else and yeah.

SPEAKER_03 5:05

Yeah, so from becoming an aesthetician to wanting to do fitness, honestly, it was a long, long journey because when I first was like on social media, um I found a passion for fitness in like midway through high school and I kind of went with it. I did track and I danced hula until I was 15. Um, which is honestly fitness. But when I started track and then I started to like work out, I did like uh physical you know that that training physical therapy? Not that it's physical conditioning, like fit yeah, like something like that. Like in high school, I was like the only girl. So um I started to realize like I'm kind of good at certain things, and I was naturally a little bit like stronger than like most of the girls or even some of the guys.

SPEAKER_02 6:00

Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_03 6:01

So um my dad is actually a power lifter, and he kinda got me into doing it at a young age, so I started to realize like, oh, I kinda like this, and then I got good at it. I sucked before, of course, but I got good at it, but then I was like, Oh, there's no way, like, how can you make money from this? He always told me, Oh, you always have to have another job, like, this is just your hobby, you know. But I'm like, okay, but I enjoy doing this, like, how can I make money from this? So then my standards were like, Okay, I could never make money from fitness. So I went the beauty side kind of found me itself. Like, I used to work at this mall, and I worked right right next to like this uh place that had a kiosk. They do like threading, and basically they were gonna open up an actual store. So they asked me, like, hey, like, because I I came in, I was asking questions. Oh, I started making lip gloss. That was like my first business.

SPEAKER_00 7:03

You made lip gloss?

SPEAKER_03 7:04

That's why yeah, I made lip gloss, yeah. It was doing really good, but then a lot happened. So made lip gloss, and then I would come over, ask a lot of questions. Clearly, I was interested in like beauty, so they said, like, hey, like, we have this program. Um, do you would you wanna like try it out? So I got I became an um apprentice through them, and they like taught me everything and like one-on-one like teaching. So um it was a longer process than actually going to school, but it was really good to have like the one-on-one connection. So when I started with that, I was like, Oh, I think I like this. So I kept doing it, but then I realized um I quickly realized I just don't. I don't know what it is. Like I love connecting with other people, I love making them beautiful, but something was missing, and I kept like half of me was in it, and the other half was like, I don't have time for this, like I need to go to the gym, I need to do content, I need to like something. And when I first started um social media, it had nothing to do with fitness, and I I blew up for for something completely different, but then I took the risk and I changed it and I said I don't want to be this person. If I kept going, I would have been I feel like I would have been so much bigger. But everything happens for a reason.

SPEAKER_01 8:27

Yes, true.

SPEAKER_03 8:28

So my something was just telling me like I feel like fitness is supposed to be my future, so I kind of um changed my niche and I lost so much followers, but then I gained it back like after. And I kept going into fitness, um and then I used to work full time with aesthetician because it made a it made a lot of money at a young age, but recently um I don't really work as much now because I found a way to make money um doing what I love. So that's kind of where I'm at right now. It's not a lot, but it's it's something.

SPEAKER_00 9:04

Girl, um I was taught this several months back. Health is wealth. Yeah, god damn, health is wealth. Girl, um hey, kudos to you for I guess going down a path and then just going all in on a separate path.

SPEAKER_03 9:24

I did.

SPEAKER_00 9:24

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 9:25

Um I actually became the manager of the spawn that I worked. I was there so long I became the manager.

SPEAKER_00 9:30

No way.

SPEAKER_03 9:30

Yeah. Oh, one of the managers.

SPEAKER_00 9:32

And then you're just like, mm-hmm, I'm good.

SPEAKER_03 9:34

I mean, like, I still I don't really work that much, but I still help, like, there's five locations, so I help make the five locations. I'm one of the managers. There's two.

SPEAKER_01 9:44

Oh.

SPEAKER_03 9:45

Because I also, in between, oh my god, I didn't bring that up. But in between me becoming an esthetician and me having my lip gloss brand, I decided I wanted to go to college. And I decided I want to move away. So I went to Vegas.

SPEAKER_00 9:59

Ooh, girl, 702. Holler at your boy and your girl.

SPEAKER_03 10:04

Yeah. So I went to Vegas.

SPEAKER_00 10:06

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 10:07

And then, sorry, stuff cough. But I went to Vegas, had to I had to stop my lip lip gloss brand.

SPEAKER_01 10:15

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 10:16

Because I did not have time for it at all. It was it was really hard. Like I paid for everything myself. I had an apartment, like, I mean, it was like a four by four, but it was still expensive.

SPEAKER_01 10:26

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 10:26

Yeah. And then decided I didn't want to do that. Came back home, finished school online, went back to being an esthetician. Or like I was in the process of it, so everything I did before it raced, I had to redo it.

SPEAKER_00 10:39

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 10:40

Yeah. That kind of sucked. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 10:42

Oh shit.

SPEAKER_03 10:43

And then I didn't have transportation. I didn't know how to drive yet. Like everything. I was just hustling, like figuring it out. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 10:50

Girl, let me tell you this. I know a lot of um young adults that listen to this, right? Um, it's okay to move away because home is always gonna be here. You can always come back. But definitely like get out there, you know, to see how the world is. How's Las Vegas for you? Like I'm I'm assuming you're born and raised here, right?

SPEAKER_03 11:14

I'm actually from Molokai. So another island. Oh, another island, yeah, yeah, yeah, sure, sure, sure, sure, yeah. I'll get into that. But um Vegas at the time I hated it. Hated it. I have eczema, like, yeah. I have eczema, um eczema? Yeah, literally. The weather changed, the people was very different.

SPEAKER_00 11:37

They different out there, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 11:38

Yeah. And I I feel like I had no money to do anything. Okay. I also didn't drive, so but the apartment I lived in had a lot of things already, but I worked full time, I had no money to spare, um, paid for school, paid for um I'm still paying for school, paid for my rent and everything. But the weather and the people, the it w yeah, it was kind of different. But I feel like I would have had more fun if I was at least 21. You know, or if I at least had a car.

SPEAKER_00 12:11

So you were out there like say 19, 18, 19?

SPEAKER_03 12:15

I think I was 1920.

SPEAKER_00 12:18

Oh, really?

SPEAKER_03 12:19

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 12:20

Oh, snap. Um, as you can hear and see, Miss Maka's getting over a cold.

SPEAKER_03 12:25

Yes, right. It's okay.

SPEAKER_00 12:26

Hey, you know what? Um, we straight. It's okay.

SPEAKER_03 12:30

Just uh cut it up.

SPEAKER_00 12:32

Girl, hey. Thank you for sharing the story, girl. Um, you ready to get into these uh questions and shit? Sure.

Career Pivots And Hustle Lessons

SPEAKER_00 12:40

Sure. Yeah. She doesn't sound so positive. How are you um when the camera isn't on? When you're not making content, you're just no camera on, the phone's not on. Like, who is Miss Maka?

SPEAKER_03 12:55

Honestly, I I feel like I'm exactly the same because I mean I feel like I'm kind of shy, but that's kind of like a problem I have with um being on camera too, is being more verbal and like showing more personality.

SPEAKER_00 13:14

Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_03 13:14

Yeah. I I don't I don't know.

SPEAKER_00 13:17

Are you a natural introvert? Because that's how I am.

SPEAKER_03 13:20

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 13:20

Oh, really?

SPEAKER_03 13:21

Yeah. Or maybe when I was young I wasn't, but middle school and high school was a little hard for me, so uh I feel like I became a little more um closed off.

SPEAKER_00 13:35

Really?

SPEAKER_03 13:36

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 13:37

I'm what you call an antisocial extrovert.

SPEAKER_03 13:41

Antisocial extrovert.

SPEAKER_00 13:43

Extrovert.

SPEAKER_03 13:44

I I feel like I mean, I don't know. I would call myself that too, but we seem very different. Yeah. You think so?

SPEAKER_00 13:54

I just this I mean extroverted. This is your first pod, right? Yeah. Mammao, we popped another pot cherry. But um I s I do that all the time. Um nah, but I I guess I mean this is your first pod.

SPEAKER_03 14:10

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 14:11

You just driving with me. Camera. Are you nervous in a way?

SPEAKER_03 14:15

Or are you um not anymore. Oh okay. But when it first started, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 14:22

You know what? Um, if y'all's not watching this, um, she is like in a dress, right? I feel I totally feel underdressed. I should have had like a tuxedo shirt on, or maybe or maybe like a better hat. Or the haircut. But no, I mean not, she she's dressed good. Um, we talked earlier. She's going to a dinner afterwards, yeah?

SPEAKER_03 14:43

I just wanted to be ready or just girl, go ahead.

SPEAKER_00 14:45

Hey, hey, go ahead. I I respect it.

SPEAKER_03 14:48

I live like um near the airport, so I always have to think about traffic, and that was the first thing on my mind. Like, okay, Saturday, I'm doing this, this, this, and that. On Saturday, I gotta account for traffic. There's no traffic on Saturdays. Or like not it not as bad.

SPEAKER_00 15:03

Not as bad.

SPEAKER_03 15:04

At a like, I was thinking between the two to six frame.

SPEAKER_00 15:07

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 15:08

I was like, oh, there's only morning traffic. I forgot.

SPEAKER_00 15:11

That stuff traffic here is nuts.

SPEAKER_03 15:13

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 15:14

Totally nuts. Um, do you have a um a scheduler or is everything ran by you?

SPEAKER_03 15:19

Oh, I frick, half the time I make me and my boyfriend's schedule.

SPEAKER_00 15:24

Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_03 15:24

Like, um, I have I just use like Google Calendar and I put like everything on there. Like it's colorful, very colorful.

unknown 15:32

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 15:33

Are you the type of person where, let's say you didn't have Google Calendar and you have to write things out?

SPEAKER_03 15:37

I would write it out.

SPEAKER_00 15:38

You would you do it like in different pen colors, or would you have probably sticky note?

SPEAKER_03 15:43

No, I'd make it my thing is in different colors depending on how important it is, or like what it is, or like specifically. Like if I'm working out, it's green. But if it's a workout class, it's like a sage.

SPEAKER_00 15:57

Really? Yeah, I'm just you color code things.

SPEAKER_03 15:59

I'm just analyzed.

SPEAKER_00 16:00

Oh, hey, don't even worry about it. High five to that, because I'm the same motherfucking way. Yeah. Are you um you work in front of a computer a lot, yeah?

SPEAKER_03 16:08

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 16:09

Or okay. Is your folders color coded as well?

SPEAKER_03 16:12

Or is it just Oh, like the tags? Yeah. Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_00 16:15

Okay, me too.

SPEAKER_03 16:16

Yeah. See, hey, we ain't man, we are not that different. I add the tag colors, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 16:21

Girl, girl, girl. Um, here we go. Uh, do you work out because you love fitness or because you hate how you look sometimes?

SPEAKER_03 16:31

Oh, that's funny. Because I mean, maybe maybe now, of course, a little bit of me is like, okay, I need to work out for aesthetic reasons. But when I first started fitness, I actually had no like thought in my head about like, oh, this is what makes people look good. I actually had no idea. Like, I didn't really know like certain things like what you eat, like what you do, how you work out, all has to do with like how your body will look after. Only later I started to realize that when I started to eat healthier and be consistent. But so before I just liked fitness. I I love being active, I love playing sports. Um, yeah, but now of course, like now I know how things work. Now I know like all women have like natural insecurities and stuff, and there's of course like certain figures that I want to achieve. So I would say both.

SPEAKER_00 17:37

Both? Yeah. This um this is gonna piggyback off that question. Does social media make women feel like they consistently have to improve their bodies?

SPEAKER_03 17:48

So I can't speak for women in general, but I definitely know that's true for a lot of people. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 17:56

Mmm, girl. Um, I think one big reason of like me like going to the gym doing the things that I do is because um one, it makes me feel good because of the stressors that I have. Like I'm just putting it all out there, right?

SPEAKER_01 18:12

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 18:12

And also the like the longevity of being healthy.

SPEAKER_01 18:16

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 18:16

Like I want to be there for you know the people I love. And also, ain't no way my kids are gonna beat me like in a sport until like I'm 60 or 70. Like, I I refuse to lose you to, you know, to that type of shit. You feel me?

SPEAKER_03 18:31

That's the funny thing too, because when I was when I was in school in Molokai and then schools here, they're like a little bit different when it comes to fitness. I feel like here they're more lenient. But back home, I remember like in PE, if the teacher is running, like, if we're running miles and we had to do it like every day, I feel like a mile or something. I can't or like whenever we had the class. Um, if they're running um ahead of you, like you had to run like you had you just had to keep up at least, or you're gonna run longer. It was like a thing. Like, there's just um I feel like they I mean maybe our class was just really good at being active, but I feel like they pushed us to do a lot more, and then when I came here, the schools weren't as um I mean maybe it's just my school.

SPEAKER_00 19:26

Girl, you know, they weren't as like probably your school.

SPEAKER_03 19:29

Yeah, they just weren't as aggressive, I feel like. Or they're really lenient. Like people were allowed to sit out if they want to, but I don't remember that being a choice back home.

SPEAKER_00 19:39

I don't know. Interesting. Yeah. Miss

Fitness Motivation And Body Image

SPEAKER_00 19:42

Maka, what's your biggest insecurity physically? I'll tell you mine. I hate the way my toes look.

SPEAKER_03 19:50

Oh my god, I was just thinking that. No, not about you though, but Oh, motherfucker. You're wearing shoes, how can I know? No, I'm just kidding. But um, no, yeah, I have like crooked um big toes.

SPEAKER_00 20:07

Or like after this show, I'm gonna look. I'm like, ooh girl, they like toe be different.

SPEAKER_03 20:14

Cause I have wide feet and then my big toe kind of curves in.

SPEAKER_00 20:19

Okay.

SPEAKER_03 20:20

Yeah, I don't know. I know.

SPEAKER_00 20:21

So that's the insecurity? I mean, I'm I'm not joking. I was like, that's what Oh, I get I I'm not I mean, I'm not really like insecure, like but I mean it bothers me a little bit.

SPEAKER_03 20:36

Crooked toes and crooked feet. I mean, at least one of my toes is like that.

SPEAKER_00 20:40

I would I mean insecurity. As as long as maybe my height uh a foot to model isn't um asking for Oh, they're definitely not gonna like my feet. Oh fuck, just look at my left foot. Uh fuck my right. Just look at my left.

SPEAKER_03 20:54

That's my left, that's mostly, yeah. Well, insecurity. Um well, honestly, I for me, I feel like I look the best that I've ever looked at the moment. So I feel pretty happy, but I mean, I'm short, like really short. So there's that too. Like I could I can't be a flight attendant, I can't be a certain kind of model, like I can't, I probably can't run for Miss Hawaii because I'm too short. No, I'm just kidding. I don't know if that's the thing, but they're all so tall, and I'm like looking at myself and I'm like, damn, I'm short.

SPEAKER_00 21:30

Um, I've uh great things come in small packages, Miss Maka.

SPEAKER_03 21:35

I guess so.

SPEAKER_00 21:36

You are a um ball of fucking brightness. Yay! Yay, yay. Uh do you ever feel pressured to maintain a certain image?

SPEAKER_03 21:49

Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_00 21:51

Why why is that?

SPEAKER_03 21:52

Like, why is um well for me it's like because fitness is gonna be my future as a Right now, like it's my passion. And of course, like business aspect, I strongly believe, I mean, no, like no negative whatever towards anyone. But I feel like if I'm studying to be a certified personal trainer, I feel like I want to look and feel my best if I'm gonna be teaching other people.

SPEAKER_00 22:22

You want to look the part.

SPEAKER_03 22:24

Yeah, like looking the part. Yeah. I'm I own a uh Activewear brand. I feel like that's just the standards to myself, not to anyone because like not trying to body shame or anything. But for the standard for myself, I want to feel like I check off all the boxes. Like, okay, I know that I push myself. So if I one day I want to teach people, then how can I how can I teach them like discipline or like anything like that if I'm not even doing it myself?

SPEAKER_00 22:54

I love that. Yeah, I honestly love that because um as uh we talked as a person in the military, I have soldiers beneath me, right? And I wouldn't have them do anything that I haven't done before, you know? So I love how you're taking accountability on yourself to by checking these boxes, you know, the the the I guess the prerex of you know doing the occupation that you want to do like now and in the into the future. So I love that about that shit, you know what I'm saying? Like, you're one of the real ones, Miss Maka. Hell yeah.

SPEAKER_03 23:28

Unaccountability and like excuses. Like I can't like if you're late, say you're late. You don't gotta be like, oh, I'm I I had to do this, I had to do that. Like, I'm so sorry, I'm late. Like, that's it.

SPEAKER_00 23:40

You don't need the explanation, right?

SPEAKER_03 23:42

Yeah. I feel it. So I'm just like, like, okay, I don't look the way I look because I was eating bad the last month. You know, like it oh, like, but I had this, but I had no. Just lock in. Fix it. Like, you know, I'm really one of those, like, taking accountability for myself.

SPEAKER_00 24:03

Girl, that's good. Yeah. That's girl. I'm teaching uh funny thing. I'm teaching my kids that right now. Like that's good. Taking accountability for your you know, why is this shit dirty? Nobody talking? Alright, motherfucker. Hey, clean that shit. And then I find out. Yeah, I find out why it's not dirty. I'm like, man, just do it, you know.

SPEAKER_03 24:22

Yeah, that same thing goes for like relationships. Like, I watched a video that I forget exactly how they worded it, but um, they were saying, like, they gave an example, if there's dirty dishes in the sink, don't be like, oh babe, can you can you wash this? Oh, why do I have to wash it? Like I did it last time. Uh-huh. No, if you see something, just do it. Girl, oh my god.

SPEAKER_00 24:44

Let me ask you this. In your household, are you the type of person that lets the dishes or pan or whatever, are you a soaker? Like you let it marinate, or are you cleaning that up?

SPEAKER_03 25:00

Oh, I try to clean it up fast because I hate like it gets wor Well, I mean, it depends. What am I soaking? It depends on what I'm soaking.

SPEAKER_00 25:08

Okay.

SPEAKER_03 25:09

Because I, of course, if it's like oils or like, yeah, you have to. But if you mean like in general, just soaking dishes, yeah, no. My boyfriend does that. He just like throws just soaks all of them.

SPEAKER_00 25:23

Let me tell you, my wife does that. And it bothers the shit out.

SPEAKER_03 25:26

Like, um But that didn't need to be soaked, you know? Like, yes, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 25:30

It doesn't have to be soaked. You could uh uh knock that motherfucker out. So I'm I'm like the primer clean dishes dishwasher, you know what I'm saying? Uh I mean I sometimes I want to go on strike and not do anything.

SPEAKER_01 25:45

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 25:45

But there's an ich inside me where I'm just like, dog man.

SPEAKER_03 25:50

You know, because then it's gonna smell and it's gonna get gross.

SPEAKER_00 25:52

Like and bugs?

SPEAKER_03 25:54

Oh, I can't. I can't. I can't with bugs.

SPEAKER_00 25:56

Mm-mm. Mm-mm. I cannot. Like roaches and shit? Oh my god.

SPEAKER_03 25:59

I would make my boyfriend handle it. I'd be like, can you buy like all the the the bug stuff? Like, I can't deal with bugs. Like if I see a roach, he's killing it. I'm not sure.

SPEAKER_00 26:09

You ain't touching that shit.

SPEAKER_03 26:10

I'm not trying to be too like.

SPEAKER_00 26:12

I'm gonna let it like boyfriend, I'm gonna let you be the man.

SPEAKER_03 26:16

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 26:16

You handle this motherfucking thing right now.

SPEAKER_03 26:19

I can't. It's gross. It looks weird.

SPEAKER_00 26:22

Um here

Handling Comments And Online Misreads

SPEAKER_00 26:24

you go. Do likes and comments affect your mood on social media?

SPEAKER_03 26:29

Yeah. I would say, I mean, I have a like what's the word? Like tolerance or there's like a certain limit because I kind of been on social media since I was like 16.

SPEAKER_01 26:46

Okay.

SPEAKER_03 26:47

And before, of course, it affected me. I used to like um delete all of them. I would never argue. I try not to argue with people online. I can't.

SPEAKER_00 26:56

What's the point?

unknown 26:57

No.

SPEAKER_03 26:58

Arguing with people online is just like. Yeah, you just look weird.

SPEAKER_00 27:00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 27:01

As soon as if I ever did and I caught myself, I just delete it after I'm like, I can't. You win. Like, actually, yeah, it's okay. Let me just, you know, turn the other cheek or whatever. So before, of course, it would bother me like anything would bother me when I was like when I first started, because I didn't really know how social media is.

SPEAKER_01 27:18

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 27:18

But I've been doing it for a while, and you start to realize like people would just say stuff. And I I like filter it out. I'm like, oh, of course. They they think that because of this. Like, you know, like I kind of there's a part of me that's like I get why they say things. Or I'm like, oh, that girl is just, you know, bothered because I'm doing whatever, you know, or I I'm dating this person, or I'm not I don't know, because there was a time, there was a time where I was feeling insecure and someone commented on something, and I decided to be funny, and I was like, you know what? God bless you. What a heart. You know, it sounds nice, yeah, but I'm being, you know, I'm like, I'm not technically intentions were not entirely pure, right? Because then I just wouldn't have said anything. Um and she like immediately started attacking me, and then it traveled like months, like anything, yeah. I mean, I hope she doesn't see this.

SPEAKER_00 28:30

Fuck that's just hey, come after me.

SPEAKER_03 28:32

No, no, no, no, no. That's just how I took it though. Yeah. I feel like immediately, and then you know, people got involved, and then and then it was like it lasted a couple months, I feel like, yeah, of like comments here and there I'll see on other videos, technically. But then I was like, damn, if I just didn't respond, if I just didn't argue, like this wouldn't be happening. And then I decided to reach out and I said, I'm so sorry, like I really don't mean any of this. Like, and then she said, Okay, like I got really bothered that this happened, like I'm sorry if I like overtook it, like whatever. So then you start to realize, like, a lot of things are miscommunication. Like, why are we fighting? Like, actually, why are we fighting? She's gonna get mad because she's like, Why would you even say that, you know? But then I'm like, Well, why would you say that? But then the whole time, the intention was never like bad to begin with. We just assumed. So a part of it is assuming, and a part of it is just letting things go. Like, some people don't know how to just okay, she thinks that. Okay, next. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 29:40

Micah, are you a good in the relationship that you're in now? Are you a great communicator? Like, do you communicate like this with your man's?

SPEAKER_03 29:50

Oh yeah, of course.

SPEAKER_00 29:52

Is he the same way or is he more like is he quiet?

SPEAKER_03 29:57

Oh, I can't with the quiet ones anymore. Had one of those. Like, ugh, but anyway, no. So when we first started dating, he was very um to himself, like, okay, like, okay, whatever I I must have done something, I'll fix it, it's fine. But I'm like, no, like I'm trying to understand why you said this, why you thought that, like, I need to understand. So a big part of it was like when you understand the way someone thinks, and then you allow them, like, without yell we don't yell at each other, like like disrespect each other, like call each other names and stuff. Once you start to introduce that into a relationship, they don't feel safe to truly be vulnerable with you. And I've learned that over time, but with him, um, when I started the relationship, everything was like we're mature enough to understand that emotional, like we had that emotional maturity. So whenever I wanted to like get a point across, he allowed himself to listen. In the beginning, it was not like that. It was more like he just try to get, you know, shud the problem. Like, it's fine, it's fine, it's fine. Because he didn't want to deal with feelings. But later he starts to realize um, I don't know, something just changed in a man. I feel like you know, men change for the right woman, like that saying and whatever.

SPEAKER_00 31:27

Oh, it's a saying, alright. I mean, you know what? Let me take it back. I'm gonna get backlash on that one. It's a it's a it's a true statement. Yeah. It's a true statement.

SPEAKER_03 31:36

It is true. It is true, because after like there were certain things I was like teaching him. I'm like, hey, you have to understand that some girls are like this, or some guys are like this. Like, I I feel like I have a lot of discernment and I I really read people, even if I I spoke like one word to them immediately. I if something's wrong, I'll know. Like, I'll know. I just know.

SPEAKER_00 32:00

Woman's intuition.

SPEAKER_03 32:01

Oh yeah, for sure. And um he would think like, oh, I don't think so. And then immediately the universe would prove him wrong, like the next day or something, yeah. I'm right. And then after that, he started to realize, like, oh maybe I should, you know, like hear her out. Maybe there's there's always good intention behind, like, we care. That's why we're communicating. If we didn't care, it would be like, okay, whatever. You know? Like, I feel like women women will tech like always over-communicate because we care. Once I stop, I don't care. I clearly don't care anymore.

Fighting Fair And Speaking Your Truth

SPEAKER_00 32:41

I love how you freaking brought that up because um I'm gonna ask you this now from personal um thing. When men like undercommunicate, right? How do women take that? Like, why do women take it as as like um okay, so scenario time.

SPEAKER_03 33:03

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 33:04

Um I'm I'm letting my wife vent, right? I validate her feelings, she keeps on venting on. I have nothing to say because whatever I say, I know it's going it's gonna go downhill. Right?

SPEAKER_03 33:24

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 33:24

Therefore, I don't say anything at all. My daddy taught me if I have nothing nice to say, don't say anything at all. Or if I don't have anything, not anything to say, don't say anything. So if a man is not saying anything in regards to a um a situation or whatnot, as a woman, how are you taking that when you are like heightened?

SPEAKER_03 33:45

Okay, I feel like, first of all, the scenario is different when you're already married versus like when you're getting when you're kind of new in the relationship. But talking about marriage, the dynamic is different. Um yeah, because you're you're locked in, you have to learn each other. Yeah. You had to have already learned each other. So something's wrong, first of all, if that's already happening. But um, I would say like like there's a there was this thing I read, or maybe it was a video I saw like on TikTok or something, where it said everything, first of all, women don't like people who tell lies, hiding the truth is still lies. It doesn't matter like what it is, communicate. If it's not good, figure out a better way to say it. So like there was a video where this husband didn't um thought that his wife put too much salt salt on his food. And in the first scenario, he goes, like, this is like this is terrible. Why'd you have to put like so much salt on my food? And then the other one was like, Oh honey, this is this is great. Um, you know, maybe next time if you could put just a little bit less salt, that would be amazing.

SPEAKER_00 34:55

That was a better one. Yeah. The second one was a better answer.

SPEAKER_03 34:58

Yeah, it's always the way that that you communicate. Like, it's the way you're communicating. Like, always say your truth, but watch the way you say it. Because the way you say things that really affect people. Just like the first example I gave, like clearly I didn't say it with good intention. Maybe if it wasn't good, maybe I didn't have to say anything at all, but you could always understand people a little bit better by coming across a little nicer, you know.

SPEAKER_00 35:28

As a man, I think uh, well, as men, we do need to learn how to, I guess, express that way in in that manner. Because a lot of us, we're like, we're blunt, you know, like we tell it how it is, like if it tastes like shit, damn girl, this shit tastes like shit. But when but like, oh, it's good, however, comma, you could use a little, you know, you could ease up on the salt, you know, like that type of stuff. I think we just need to like relearn our brains to communicate that way because not everyone is I guess could they could receive the way we're we're putting it out.

SPEAKER_03 36:12

Yeah, and it's like if you came to your wife just throwing that shit in her face, she's not gonna respond well.

SPEAKER_00 36:18

Oh no.

SPEAKER_03 36:19

She would probably be mad. But and then there's a fight for no reason, like negative tension. But that's one thing I never you know, like there's always guys you have to teach, you have to teach your man how to be a good man. I didn't have to teach my boyfriend that at all. Like he was he's very good.

SPEAKER_00 36:38

Oh, he was squirt away.

SPEAKER_03 36:39

He was um he knows, like, he's emotionally mature enough to know his right from wrong.

SPEAKER_01 36:45

Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_03 36:45

Like, the way you speak. Like, in the beginning, I used to get um I have a problem. Like, when I get emotional, I start to raise my voice.

SPEAKER_01 36:55

Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_03 36:55

But for him, that's not normal. Like, you don't do that. So I always had to learn how to also dial it down because that's a form of disrespect and there was no need for it.

SPEAKER_00 37:07

It's hard to believe that y'all don't when y'all argue.

SPEAKER_03 37:10

No, I said we did.

SPEAKER_00 37:12

Oh, okay, yeah. Okay, okay. So when when y'all argue, is it one of them like does it last for since you guys are Greek?

SPEAKER_03 37:19

No.

SPEAKER_00 37:19

It just lasts for that period, like 45 an hour, maybe a night.

SPEAKER_03 37:24

Not even a night.

SPEAKER_00 37:25

Not even a night, huh? You squash it.

SPEAKER_03 37:27

Yeah. I'm like one of like I I learn a lot about um how to because because like I truly appreciate this relationship that I'm in. I I truly feel like God put the right person in my life.

SPEAKER_01 37:41

Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 37:42

I don't wanna like mess it up just by treating him just how I feel. You know?

SPEAKER_00 37:48

Yeah. No.

SPEAKER_03 37:49

Like people deserve the same respect. Like you have to treat the relationship with respect. So I wait, what were we like what exactly were we talking about before I brought that up?

SPEAKER_00 38:03

You know what? I forgot too. I was just I was listening to your anecdote.

SPEAKER_03 38:08

Because I was getting there and then I forgot how to turn it. But like, it's okay.

SPEAKER_00 38:12

Tangents do happen on this pod. Um we were talking about um the communication and how uh arguments did it, you made it known that it's it doesn't last the night.

SPEAKER_03 38:23

Oh yes, yeah. So I wouldn't score one for the big guy. Cause I was like, wait, what exactly was I gonna go to with that?

SPEAKER_00 38:30

Like you're you're coming to it. You're coming. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 38:33

I I watch a lot of like things about like learning how to respect your relationship so I don't make the same mistakes because of course I've made mistakes. But um, that was also one thing I've learned is to never go to sleep mad at your partner.

SPEAKER_00 38:45

Oh yeah, I've I've learned that too. Uh we put a pause button on our shit. Oh, so me and my wife, like when we're you don't hash it out before bed? We sometimes do, but we're really good at pause because at that heat of the moment we are mad, right? We are like, Yeah, I'm finna whoop your ass. Nah, bitch, I'm finna whoop your ass. Like it goes like that, right? And then it's funny. To me, it's funny. And then like when the night comes, it's like, alright, yo, pause. And she's like, Alright, next morning, we're both rational now. So we go back to it, and then we we we got like a clearer head.

SPEAKER_03 39:20

Yeah, you guys are married and have kids, so of course someday I'll probably be in that in your shoes, too, where it does last longer than I hope. But I try my best not to. We don't argue like I feel like arguments are always about like random things sometimes.

SPEAKER_00 39:38

Like, hey, you forgot to fucking close the fridge, and now my fucking shit's defrosted. That that type of random?

SPEAKER_03 39:45

Um, it could start like that, and it could start with if my boyfriend comes to me with straight up attitude and I'm on a short fuse, then I'm like, oh, why are you yelling? Yeah. Like, you know. Yeah. Those and then that starts an argument, I feel like.

SPEAKER_00 40:00

I'm kind of um I'm kind of toxic. I love arguing over like the little shit. And and then just to see like how she reacts. You know, because I'm like, I'm like testing it, you know, it's like, hey, you know what? Um ain't there a uh the water, um, we ain't got no more hot water. I was like, I just want to see what she does, you know.

SPEAKER_03 40:20

Oh, like that.

SPEAKER_00 40:22

Just like just testing it, you know, and I'm just like hey, yeah, I'm playing, I'm playing, I'm playing.

SPEAKER_03 40:26

That's some stuff I do to my boyfriend.

SPEAKER_00 40:27

I feel like isn't it fun? It well, I'm not come on, girl. You gotta be honest.

SPEAKER_03 40:32

It's it's like girl dog, you you didn't have to not like argue, but like I'll like do those things because I want him to fix it. Like I want him to have a solution, or I just want to complain.

SPEAKER_00 40:45

You know nothing wrong with that.

SPEAKER_03 40:46

I just want to complain.

SPEAKER_00 40:48

Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_03 40:48

And then if he has a solution, then he has a solution. You know. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 40:53

Are you um are you okay with your man having like being the problem solver? Or do you wanna put in your two cents too?

SPEAKER_03 41:04

Um that depends.

SPEAKER_00 41:07

Depends on the situation or depends on the problem.

SPEAKER_03 41:10

Both. But I feel like I always want him to I mean like clearly if I'm coming to him with a problem, yeah, then I want a solution. And I can't come up with it. So yeah, I would want him I would want him to as long as you know I mean I know some men come off very aggressive when they want to solve your problem, or they oh, I told you so, kind of like attitude, you know. He doesn't do that, thank God. So usually I don't ever have a problem with him solving Maka.

SPEAKER_00 41:46

Let me ask you this then.

SPEAKER_03 41:47

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 41:49

You have a problem, you're coming to your man's with it. He's coming up with a solution, however, you do not want that solution. You just want him to hear you vent. Is there a way that, like, say you do you communicate that to him where it's like, babe, I don't want you to s I don't want you to uh problem solve. I just want you just to hear me the fuck out.

SPEAKER_03 42:15

Oh yeah, I would tell him straight up because you can't just expect people to read your mind. Like if I straight up don't want Mr. Market, like I said, accountability is a big thing with me. If I straight up, like I I feel like I'm very um aware of what I do.

SPEAKER_00 42:31

Oh, okay, okay.

SPEAKER_03 42:33

Everything that I do. So for the most part, yeah, at least in my relationship, I see it right then there because you spend so much time with one person. Um, but I feel like I would tell I would tell him. I've done it before, where I'm like, okay, I don't wanna I actually don't want you to solve this. I just want reassurance. Like I just want you to listen to me upset. Like sometimes he'll do this thing where um I'll be venting already, and then he's like walking away.

SPEAKER_00 43:02

I'm like Excuse me, yeah, right? Yeah, come back.

SPEAKER_03 43:05

I'm not done complaining. Like, like just I just want you to listen. Like I would just tell him that. He's like, oh, okay. And I'm like, yeah, I just need a little more attention today. He's like, oh, okay.

SPEAKER_00 43:18

And then he'll sit and listen.

SPEAKER_03 43:21

He'll always put in like his two cents of course.

SPEAKER_00 43:23

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 43:23

Of course, like, but he he's always very um nice about it usually. I mean, there's been a time where he's like, I told you you wouldn't like that person or something or something. And but I but he's right, so I won't be mad.

SPEAKER_00 43:39

Has there ever been a time where I guess you you were in the wrong when it you know when it came to you venting out and he was like, what like the answer that he gave you was not what you wanted. And then how do you move forward from that?

SPEAKER_03 43:57

I knew I was in the wrong.

SPEAKER_00 43:58

Yeah, it's like You did you did something and then he in his mind it's like yo dude that's it's like babe that's that's kinda wrong, you know? But in your like at that heat of the moment, you were you think that you were right. So he tried explaining however it didn't come out the way that you wanted.

SPEAKER_03 44:16

Here's the thing. If I know I'm in the wrong, a lot of times if I'm in the wrong, that means I started to show some type of disrespect, I started to raise my voice, I started to get too like whatever you call that, like over something so small. But because of that, he will usually men will respond with the same energy, especially if they're on a short fuse. So then he's in the wrong too. So then I have this I have this thing where um this happened a couple times where he'll be like, Well, you know, like you you started to get like this, you didn't have to get like that. Like he will start complaining, and then I'll be like, Okay, but if you respond like that, what do you expect? Like, I can't calm down. Because I can't just calm down right away. Yeah, you know. So then we both take a step back. This is usually how it resolves, is we both come to our senses, we both take a step back, and like we realize we didn't have to get aggressive with whatever point we're trying to come across with. I feel like it always just ends up like that. And then he has this thing where he just wants to hear me say sorry.

SPEAKER_00 45:36

He love that. I'm just sorry.

SPEAKER_03 45:37

He's like, Can I just hear you can you can I just hear you apologize so I know?

SPEAKER_00 45:41

Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_03 45:41

But then I have this thing where I can't be fake. Like, you want me to apologize when I'm not sorry?

SPEAKER_01 45:48

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 45:49

Like, that's the one thing. Let me feel sorry first. Like, let me like I don't want to just throw words at you. Oh, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Like, I'm not one of those.

SPEAKER_01 45:58

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 45:58

You know, like I have to be like, okay, I'm mad right now still, so let me just cool down and feel sorry, and then I'll apologize. You know, like I need a moment. Yeah, yeah. But he he's like the can you just apologize? And I'm like, I'm still mad. Like, just give me a second, you know? Yeah. I think that's how our last argument went, actually. And then the root of the the problem was that we were both just stressed out from work. So Oh.

SPEAKER_00 46:30

Yeah.

More Than Someone’s Girlfriend

SPEAKER_00 46:31

What's uh what's your man's nine to five?

SPEAKER_03 46:33

He's a musician. Oh, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool.

SPEAKER_00 46:36

So he's making so he's making songs. Um, is he doing that? Do y'all live together?

SPEAKER_03 46:43

We live together. He has a studio in our apartment, so he actually does a lot, especially because he's a one-man band right now.

SPEAKER_00 46:50

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 46:54

Sorry. But um, so he's always writing music, uh, recording. That takes like a lot of time. Uh working on stuff, like talking to a bunch of people, like calling them up, like I don't know, always music people. Or like he'll have gigs and he'll have to pla he plans everything. Like he's his own manager and his own lyricists, his he he does everything, like the recording and because you know how some people will go to studios and work with a producer, yeah. Yeah, he does everything himself and then he just sends it over to his producer to like master it or whatever. Yeah. He's really like creative and hardworking, so he'll have to do like uh vocals and and like I don't know, all all the whatever and the tech stuff. Oh my god, like all day yesterday, because he he's on Big Island right now for a wedding that he has to play for. So he plans everything because he doesn't have a tech guy.

SPEAKER_02 47:57

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 47:58

Um and he has this thing called like a playback and some other tech shit. Like, I don't know. He was like, I have to take this thing out and put it into this thing, but I have to make sure I don't mess anything up, and it it's like it like handles all your tracks.

SPEAKER_00 48:12

And you're like, uh, okay, babe.

SPEAKER_03 48:14

Yeah, I'm just like I'm just looking at all his gadgets on the floor, and I'm like, Yeah, I'll leave you alone.

SPEAKER_00 48:19

This is uh foreign to me.

SPEAKER_03 48:21

So like all that kind of stuff takes a lot of time.

SPEAKER_00 48:24

Ooh, girl. Mm-mm.

SPEAKER_03 48:26

I had a PC once. That was enough to fry my brain.

SPEAKER_00 48:32

Okay, that's all hey, that's all I got. That's all I need. That's all I need to learn.

SPEAKER_03 48:36

That was enough to fry my brain. I was like, something broke, fuck. Forget it. Like I forget about it. I can't. I'm not a techie you person.

SPEAKER_00 48:45

Girl, girl, girl. Let me ask you this then. Do you ever feel like people see you as someone's girlfriend before they see you as your own person?

SPEAKER_03 48:52

Oh yeah, a lot of people. Um, a lot of people actually know nothing about me besides like me dating my boyfriend, especially when we meet them like in person.

SPEAKER_01 49:04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 49:05

There like there is a lot of like drama before um that I actually have nothing to do with, but people assume. And when I would meet some people in person, I could tell based on like their body language, how they they think of me, and they'll make comments. They'll make comments and um I would just brush it off because I'm like, oh, maybe they're whatever, or oh, maybe they just believe like the rumors. But there was one person that I mean I won't get into too much detail, but she like grabbed me one night, and then she's like, You're dating, you know, right?

SPEAKER_00 49:48

So and so.

SPEAKER_03 49:48

Yeah, and I'm like, Yeah. I was working too. I was I do a bunch of like random side hustles sometimes. I was working and she was all drunk, and then she's like, Well, guess what? I believe the rumors. And she's like dead staring at me. She's like three times my size, and I'm like, Okay, like are you are you trying to like attack me? Or like and then she was like just saying like yeah, I don't even I don't even like really know you or whatever, but just no. There's like it's definitely true. And I'm like okay, and then she proceeds to call me Kahi. So I'm like, okay, I have this thing where if you call me Kahi, you just know me online. Like you because I tell anybody I meet in person to call me Maka. So it feels like I know who I had a genuine uh interaction with. So a lot of people who call me Kahi, most of the time I've never met them. So I have that thing. Yeah, because Kahi is my middle name.

SPEAKER_00 50:54

Okay.

SPEAKER_03 50:54

And that's what my social medias are.

unknown 50:56

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 50:57

Oh. Um, side note when I met her, right? I was gonna call her like the social media name. And that's something like I'm really bad at. Like, like I cannot pronounce for the life of me. So thank you for letting me call you Maka. You know what I'm saying?

SPEAKER_03 51:15

No, yeah, it's no, but keep going, keep going.

SPEAKER_00 51:17

Sorry for butting that.

SPEAKER_03 51:18

No, no, no, no, no. Yeah, it's um what exactly was the question?

SPEAKER_00 51:22

Oh shit, you were talking about um big girl uh saying, Oh, I believe the rumors.

SPEAKER_03 51:27

Oh yeah, people like oh yeah, so there are like the really negative side of it where um people will just look at like my boyfriend and then whatever is going on online. Yeah, they believe, like, oh, have you heard that this and that? And I'm like, people there are you like you can't always say bad things because there are genuine people who will believe you, like, even if you're making a joke, or even if you're whatever, oh I was joking, oh it's satire. There's so many people who don't know what jokes are, and like, oh my god, she must have did that, like, and then you play telephone, you know. So there's a lot of like the negative part of it. Um, there's a lot of people who look at me different in a good way, they're like, oh my god, like you're you're so and so's girlfriend, like, oh my god, it's so nice to meet you. Like, I love that, I love it, but then I feel like a little too special. I'm like, wait, I'm me too, it's okay, like I'm normal, I swear. Yeah, you know, like um, but I mean that that that just comes with it, right? So, but that's the good part of it too. Uh huh. Yeah, is they genuinely like see you as someone like really cool and amazing, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 52:42

To piggyback off that then, cut to caveat, what's something you want people to know about you that has nothing to do with your boyfriend?

SPEAKER_03 52:54

Um, there's a lot of things.

SPEAKER_00 52:59

We're uh name one that like really sticks out. Like um, you could do a puzzle with your non-crioked toe.

SPEAKER_03 53:06

Oh actually if we're being like that, I can actually spread my toes apart one by one.

SPEAKER_00 53:15

That's fucking nasty as hell. Like this, yeah? I'll zoom in like that. That's nasty as well.

SPEAKER_03 53:22

I'll just do that with my toes.

SPEAKER_00 53:24

Ew.

SPEAKER_03 53:24

Yeah. But besides that, um a lot of people think that I mean uh everyone goes into their own head, right? And speculate. A lot of people think um I'm like, I was like, I don't want to say like nobody, like I'm not trying to be like that, but like I've never been in the spotlight type of thing before, and I'm just like using him or whatever people come up with in their head.

SPEAKER_01 53:58

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 53:58

But or they think like, how do I say not like me using him, but I'm only dating him because of who he is or something like that. Yeah, yeah, like chasing cloud.

SPEAKER_01 54:07

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 54:08

But if they knew me before him, they would know that's not the case at all.

SPEAKER_01 54:12

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 54:13

And um I like I said, I was on social media when I was 16. I grew my my following, my biggest platform at the time, um, to over 200,000 followers. I still have it. Um and then it was all I changed my niche into fitness. So that was kind of like where I kind of was seen by most people. And I kind of went went with that for a long time. I I know what having a lot of followers or like a big fan base like feels like already. It's not like really new to me. So, moral of the story, I could care less who he is. Like, when I first met him, I did not care. Like, yeah, people people don't know the story, which is so funny. But we're both from the same island, like he knows my family, so even better, yeah. So I'm like, and people like us back home, we don't care. Like, I met Paris Hilton. I have a picture of Paris Hilton, she lives on Molokai, and it's like a lot of people don't realize, like, not everyone is just trying to like be like fan behavior, like get Clow, and like a lot like my sister, I won't say which sister in case she cares, but um, she's like, oh my god, Oahu people are so different. And I'm like, I okay, I'm technically an Oahu person now, but I know what you mean. Like back home, it the vibe is just different. Like, okay, my boyfriend could come home, no one's gonna ask him for a picture, even if they don't know, you know what I mean? They're just like, oh that's just leva, like you know, from whatever. But here it's like it's it's different, of course. Like, it's not that it's bad. How do I explain it? I'm just mostly just trying to say, like, one, I've been in this scene a little bit, kind of, in a way, and two, like, I wasn't raised like a certain way, you know what I mean? I was raised to like see people as people, you know, like oh, like I don't know. But some I'm not trying to like make it seem like he like he's cocky here or whatever, like not like that at all. It's just like of course some people um will see him and fan, you know what I mean?

SPEAKER_00 56:37

They'll they'll interact with him as a fan.

SPEAKER_03 56:40

So people some people would assume that I was just some fangirl that just wanted to like scoop him up and be with him, you know what I mean? Yeah, but it wasn't like that at all. Like he chased me.

SPEAKER_00 56:51

Uh-huh. So put that in the bank, son.

SPEAKER_03 56:55

But you know, it's fine. But um, yeah, so I don't know, like, I don't know how to explain. Like, I just seen him as a normal person and we're both from the same island, so I'm like, oh cool, like somebody like coming from where I'm coming from, building a business out of himself. That's what I seen. I didn't see like, oh my god, this guy, he's so cool. Like, oh my god, I wanted like I don't know. I like I'm not trying to be like that, like a weird, like I just I wanted to have a genuine connection if I if I met someone who's like of his status or whatever. No like you know, like this sounds so bad. I can't like I'm not trying to put bad on like people who are fans, of course. Of course, like the fanning is normal and whatever. I'm just mostly saying like people assumed that was just that kind of girl and just trying to use him, but it's not like that way, yeah. Girl, make that sound better.

SPEAKER_00 58:01

Oh no, oh make it sound better, too easy. Hey man, um my girl Maka met her man's genuinely get off her dick. Alright, it was never about the clout chase. Yeah, she liked him for him, he liked her for her, not because of her crooked toe, but because she is ambitious. And what Maka saw in him was a goal getting motherfucker.

SPEAKER_03 58:25

Okay, that's the word. Yes, because actually he I asked him, I literally thank you, because I can't put that into words, like without I don't want to get like canceled or like you ain't gonna get canceled, I'll get cancelled way before you do. So maybe anything that sounds too bad, just cut it out.

SPEAKER_00 58:41

But um It's raw.

SPEAKER_03 58:44

You're actually right

How They Met And Final Takeaways

SPEAKER_03 58:45

about that. I would I asked him initially, like, why did he like me? Cause like I said, when we first met, there was a ton of girls around and all of them lining up, literally lining up to like go hugging.

SPEAKER_00 58:56

Even guys too.

SPEAKER_03 58:58

No, there's no guys there. Oh no. I just happened, yeah. I just I just happened to be there and I was like, oh, I know that guy. That's um my brother-in-law, like he grew up with him. So like my yeah, so they're really close. I'm like, oh yeah, I think I I just know that guy. Sat on the side, did my own thing. I was the only girl, sat on the side, did my own thing. And he looked at me, he's like, I know you. And I'm like, What? Are you like shocked? I'm not over there giving you a hug. Like, yeah, like, oh, I know you too. Like, that's what I said. He's like, no, like really, like, you're you're so and so's sister. And I was like, Yeah. I mean, I knew you guys were I knew you you guys were friends. Um, he's like, oh my god, yeah, like her husband, like we're close, like, or we grew up together, I love him, like whatever. And like he sat by me. So I'm like, in my head, I'm thinking, why are you over here with me when there's like all these girls like like obsessed with you, like right there, ready to give you attention. And I was in the time, I was like, I was in this moment where I'm like, fuck guys, like uh, fuck guys, I'm so over it, like I want to stay single, like that's where my head space was.

SPEAKER_00 1:00:12

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:00:13

So I didn't give him any attention, like really any. But but then I was like, oh, like, he's cool though, like, you know, I'll just I'd tell my sister like he was cool, like I met him, like whatever. And then I barely gave him any attention, and he kind of like took it and moved on. He's like, Oh, I get it, like, because he wasn't trying to like hit on me or anything, but but I was trying to be very obvious I didn't want him to. Like, I was like, you know what I mean?

SPEAKER_00 1:00:45

But then later side eye tells it all, guys.

SPEAKER_03 1:00:48

Yeah, so I was just like, Ugh, I don't like, and then there's this stigma, right? Where like musicians, like, you know, like a lot of them be with many women and like whatever. So then my first thought was like, I already said fuck men, like, why is this one talking to me?

SPEAKER_00 1:01:05

Yeah, what are you still pursuing, right?

SPEAKER_03 1:01:07

Yeah, I'm like, like I said, you got a ton of girls over there. Yeah, you know, yeah, but I said that in my head, I didn't tell them that. But um, but that was the vibe I gave. So, but then I was like, oh, that's cool, whatever. But then later I found out, like, like a guy I'm friends with, um, is his close friend. I had no idea. Like I said, I didn't really look into him, but I just knew he was from where I was from and stuff. But he was kind of like, I guess my boyfriend talked to him, like, hey, like, do you know anything about her? And he's like, Yeah, like that's that's my sis, like she's cool. Like, he put in like a word for me, she's single now, and he's like, Oh, I'm single, and whatever. And I was and then he tried to play like wingman, and I was like, because he invited us both out one night. He's like, Oh, sis, come out, like, me and our friends are gonna whatever, yeah. And then he was there, and then he was clearly trying to talk to me at this point, yeah. Really trying to talk, and then I was like, Oh, you're playing wingman, that's what this is. But then I guess like my boyfriend that wasn't my boyfriend at the time, he was like, He was really trying to get to know me. And um after maybe like two weeks, we we were like always we we had friend groups kind of hanging out together. So after like two weeks, I finally like gave in and let him like take me out on a date.

unknown 1:02:34

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:02:34

That's a rapid that's how it happened.

SPEAKER_03 1:02:36

Yep, that's how it happened. Like, he was chasing me for like two, like well, I mean he chased me the whole time, but like until I actually gave a response.

SPEAKER_01 1:02:47

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:02:47

It was like two weeks, like five times of hanging out. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:02:51

Girl, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:02:54

Cause like I said, I was like, fuck man, like I hate like, but then my sister was like, he's a good guy, like he's a good guy, I swear, like, um, no, like he's not like that. Like, you know, like I was like, so should I give him attention? Like, she's like, Yeah, just try it.

SPEAKER_00 1:03:09

And I'm like, okay, I mean, I did think he was cute, so the validation of you say your sister? My sister. Of your sibling. Go ahead, girl. She better be like a bridesmaid.

SPEAKER_03 1:03:21

Oh, she is she literally told me, like, if you don't make me she's like my best friend. She's like, if you don't make me your bridesmaid, I swear to god.

SPEAKER_00 1:03:29

Like, I'm throwing a curse on that ass.

SPEAKER_03 1:03:32

Literally.

SPEAKER_00 1:03:33

Uh Miss Monka, that was fun. I do appreciate before we dip out, um, or before I say our our goodbyes and shit, how did this happen? How did I got you, Miss Monka, to come on this this thing?

SPEAKER_03 1:03:48

Well, actually, I saw you messaged me last year.

SPEAKER_00 1:03:52

Like, I don't remember, but okay.

SPEAKER_03 1:03:55

Yeah, I I didn't realize. Um, and I was looking at my requested, and then you messaged me again. Like, I just I was looking at your podcast. This girl, I know, like named Lynn. She she was on one of your okay, yeah, yeah, little Lynn and I saw her posting.

SPEAKER_00 1:04:11

Cool person. Cool person, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:04:12

She's cool, and then I was like, oh, this is this is cool. Like, and then you like right after I was watching, like, you DM'd me. So I was like, what the heck? Okay.

SPEAKER_00 1:04:22

It was lined up in the stores.

SPEAKER_03 1:04:24

I waited a little bit. I was like, should I do this? Because I don't like to talk. Like, uh huh. I don't like I don't want anyone to like take what I say as like it's trying to like cancel me or something.

SPEAKER_00 1:04:37

Yeah, like take it personal, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:04:38

Take it like really, really personal, like overly personal, and I'm like, wait, I'm not trying to say that at all. I swear I wasn't trying to say that. But um, yeah, so like I fear that sometimes. Yeah. Because um, I've already been on the internet where people speculate and whatever.

SPEAKER_01 1:04:57

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:04:57

So I'm like, oh my god, I want drama, please. Like, please leave me alone. But um, and then I but I was like, you know what? I need to like break out of my comfort zone, and I want to get more comfortable like talking on camera.

SPEAKER_00 1:05:11

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:05:11

So I was like, okay, maybe I will.

SPEAKER_00 1:05:14

Dude, shoot your shot. Hey folks, shoot your goddamn shot. You never know what you're gonna get. Just like a crack a jack box. You don't know what prize you finna get, man. Um uh as your first pod, uh, how'd you like it?

SPEAKER_03 1:05:28

I mean, that wasn't too bad. That was cool. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:05:33

Yeah. It's cool, guys.

SPEAKER_03 1:05:35

Yeah, it was it was it was cool. It wasn't um too like scary.

SPEAKER_00 1:05:43

Oh, one more thing before we leave. Um what uh what message would you tell younger you, sixteen year old you, now? Like a 16-year-old you would she be proud of the woman that you've become now? Like all the hurdles that you've gone through, all the bullshit that's gone your way. Would she be proud of you?

SPEAKER_03 1:06:17

She would be asking some questions.

SPEAKER_00 1:06:19

Motherfucker.

SPEAKER_03 1:06:21

She would be like, girl. Wait, what? Why did you do this? Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:06:27

But um But the journey, right? The journey.

SPEAKER_03 1:06:30

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:06:31

She'd be like, girl, you've overcame some goddamn thing.

SPEAKER_03 1:06:34

I feel like she would be like, holy fuck, why did we have to go through so much for like no reason? Like I feel like there was so much that changed, like, I mean, of course, with everybody, but my life last year, holy, like, it was like a roller coaster of craziness. And um, I feel like I would probably tell her to um not overthink like not overthink too many things on social media. Yeah. Like facts. Like I said before, like when I was young, all the comments used to bother me. Like if I if they think I'm saying something or doing something bad, I would I would delete them. I would block them. Like I can't I can't handle it. But um now I'd say just like just let it go in one ear, out the other. Or like if you're reading it, you know, just okay, next. You know? Yeah. Like not let it affect you.

SPEAKER_00 1:07:38

That's great advice.

SPEAKER_03 1:07:39

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:07:40

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:07:40

I would say that.

unknown 1:07:41

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:07:42

Go ahead, girl. Um, where can these people find you at? And do you have any um shadows or anything?

SPEAKER_03 1:07:49

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:07:49

Um yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:07:52

Um, you can find me at Kahi Kahiva on Instagram or Kahi.lifts. That's my fitness page. I have Instagram, TikTok. I started YouTube, starting my YouTube journey.

SPEAKER_00 1:08:05

She's finna have a MySpace soon too, you know? I'm just playing, I don't know.

SPEAKER_03 1:08:09

MySpace?

SPEAKER_00 1:08:10

Yeah, I'll be popping off. You didn't know? You didn't hear? MySpace is finna pop again.

SPEAKER_03 1:08:16

That's not even like a thing anymore.

SPEAKER_00 1:08:18

No, it's like on the internet, it they said they're gonna try and rejuvenate MySpace thing.

SPEAKER_03 1:08:24

Okay. Ew. Don't also don't believe everything you hear. Maybe that. Maybe that too, if you're gonna take anything from this, don't believe everything. No, I'm just kidding. But no, that's true, actually. But yeah. Um, shout out to YK. This is not sponsored. I just have YK with me.

SPEAKER_00 1:08:45

Oh, yeah, right. Um, thank you for keeping her hydrated.

SPEAKER_03 1:08:48

Yeah, because I'm still like recovering. Oh my god, I was sick like two weeks ago, but I still have like the cough.

SPEAKER_00 1:08:55

The phlegm.

SPEAKER_03 1:08:56

Yeah, I'm I'm like, what the frick?

SPEAKER_00 1:08:59

What the frick? Hey, um, send her some hauls, y'all. To loosen up the fungus. The the nos fungal the fungal gi of the the thing inside her nose cavity.

SPEAKER_03 1:09:12

Sure.

SPEAKER_00 1:09:13

God damn right, goddamn right. Hey um, that was fun. Thank you. Thank you for pulling through. Appreciate you.

SPEAKER_03 1:09:20

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:09:21

I see I was one of the homies. Girl, man. I've taken so many. We'll talk about it. I'm super um hey, KO Studios, thank you for the lovely home. Rafi Bai, always my man. Thank you for the lovely beat. Uh, with that being said, I'm Chris.

SPEAKER_03 1:09:38

I'm Maka.

SPEAKER_00 1:09:39

And we out this bitch. Peace.