#47- How can we live a "normal" life with chronic illness? Second part to my health journey.

Yes, life is tough. And yes life can get ya' down. So what can we do about the days that really kick our butt?
Listen to find out how I get through the hard days.

Transcript

 Hello. Hello my friends. I am Jenny Lynn and this is my show. I am a wife and mom of two crazy kiddos. I have struggled many years with chronic illness and pain. I have a passion to find out as much as I can while navigating through life, not always feeling 100%. I have realized that having a positive mindset is a must in today's crazy.

You deserve to live this life showing up as your best self, and I can help you get there. If you've been feeling lost after becoming a mom, you're not alone. I know that incredible woman is still in there just begging to be found. I am here to create a safe, non-judgmental space for like-minded women.

Let's empower each other. I am so happy you're here. Now let's jump into the 1 23 Mom Squad podcast with. Jenny Lynn.



Hello, my friends. And welcome back. I am here. Sharing with you. The second part of my health journey. I hope that you listened to the last one, which was episode 46, which was kind of the start I shared with you. Um, kind of where everything began for me and how I am, where I'm and why I'm here sharing my journey and my story with everybody. 



I think all of us that go through some sort of a health journey, obviously it looks different in everybody and we're all diagnosed at different stages and areas in our life. With me. I was diagnosed at 15 is when I was diagnosed with lupus. So mine started out. Excuse me when I was fairly young. And since then, it's just been kind of a domino effect. It's been quite a roller coaster of waves when I'm experiencing different symptoms. When it comes to auto-immune. 

Diseases and chronic illnesses. I started doing some research when I was young, but, you know, Google and web MD and all those things weren't out then. So I was really relying on my healthcare team to. To really keep me informed on what it is that I'm going to be experiencing and what my life might look like beyond what it is that I'm going through in that present moment. 

Um, And I, I didn't, I didn't know then. You know that. Doctors really. They just wanted to give you something to make you feel better, which is okay. Right. I mean, that's why. Why you become a doctor, you want people to feel good. You, you know, you, you want people to live the best of their life. But the thing of it is, is I didn't want to be. 

Under 20 and be on a plethora of prescription medications. I have tried and been on so many different medicines throughout my life right now. That I could probably help you with just about any ailment at this point. It's and I'm not proud of it. Um, but I don't love that the doctors just want to mask your symptoms. 

And they, you know, I like I get it, but please. There is a reason that your body is feeling the way that it is. And I think that once you start telling your healthcare team, Hey, listen, this is what I'm experiencing. This is what's going on. I need to understand why it is that I'm feeling this way. And I don't want to cover it up with another medication to just keep adding to your medicine cabinet. 

And, you know, I, I have to actually like empty my medications once a year because the bottles just keep getting bigger. I shouldn't say the bottles keep getting bigger, but the quantity of the medication bottles. Just keep coming and coming and coming. Um, but now the past couple of years, I I'm backing off of medications. I am taking the supplement route and vitamins and, you know, doing the tinctures and trying to get. 

Better quality type. Nutrients and minerals and supplements into my body. When I know that I'm feeling a certain way, when you become aware of the way that your body. Maybe feels when, you know, a cold is coming on, you know, you may feel like, oh my gosh, I'm getting this headache. I'm feeling really rundown. 

You become aware of the little whispers that your body is telling you? And once you, once you really tune into those, those whispers that like awareness. You become really, really aware. And how to take care of yourself just as like when you have children or if you have an animal at home, you know, oh my gosh, my, you know, my, my son is sniffling, oh, maybe he's getting a cold, you know, let's make sure he has some chicken soup and he has some rest and, you know, amp up the fluids. 

Do you take care of yourself that way? Do you take care of yourself as well as you do with your family and your loved ones? It is so important to take care of yourself. As a person who is the yes. Ma'am and have always been a yes person. And I want to do all the things in my life. I had the hardest time. 

Trying to set boundaries with myself. It is hard to do when you're so used to living a certain lifestyle, but it was because of that lifestyle that led my body to burn out. And when you burn your body out, you're no good to anybody. So you have to take care of yourself. Everybody I'm talking to every single one of you that is listening to this podcast. If you do not take care of yourself, you can't take care of anybody else. 

There are days. That I know that I may have to send an email or record a podcast or interview somebody or take care of a client. But some days I'm not feeling my best, whether it's mentally or physically, where I know that I can't. You know, give my, give my best that I want to do. And I'll just reschedule something or I'll just come back to it at a different point. And I have to learn. 

I've or I should say I have learned to be okay with that. When you start to realize that. You know, taking a rest day is okay. You just, just pick up where you left off. Especially when you are struggling with a chronic illness or an auto-immune condition, why do we feel that we have to keep going? 

Why do we feel that we have to keep going and going and going? Because society says, especially when you're a woman, that you have to do all the things for yourself, for your family, for your loved ones, for your elderly parents, you know, for your coworkers. For every buddy that, you know, And whether it's not, whether it's a debt detrimental to your health or not, you just keep pushing yourself. Well, I'm here and I'm telling you to stop doing that because you will. 

Continue to burn yourself out mentally, physically, emotionally, and then it is so very, very hard. To crawl back up from that hole that you have dug yourself so deeply in, please just take a couple hours to yourself. There are so many different ways. That we can. Just tune into ourselves, even if it's just taking a minute to just be present. 

And it is so important to just take care of yourself mentally and physically. Uh, our lives are too short to live, burnt out and not enjoying each moment. And don't you want to give your best self to your loved ones in your family? And that is the reason why I started doing this new chapter of my life is because I did not want my children to see me kind of give up. 

You know, I, when I had my kids. I became a stay at home mom right away. My kids are 14 months apart. So it was very, very challenging the first few years. And. I tried to do everything with my kids, you know, all the play dates and the library events and, you know, just everything in the area that I could do, you know, decorations and birthday parties. And. 

And, you know, Plato and shaving cream foam. I mean, there was just, it was, it was just everything. And. Looking back. I really. Wish that I could go back and tell myself. Jenny. I want you just to sit in this moment with the kids. And even though it took you longer to take all the Plato's stuff out and put the man in the kitchen floor and everything that you did. 

To, to take, take that moment and just look at their smiling faces and kind of take a snapshot of that moment and keep it in your memory bank. Because those years, even though they roll from day to day, And you don't even know what day it is sometimes. Um, There are so challenging and, you know, sleepless nights and. 

It's just. It's hard and I see you all. I see you. I understand what it is to feel. Just, you know, half just empty M D and just going on barely fumes and just doing it because you have to, well, I don't want you to live your life because you have to, and I don't want you to go through. Your children growing up because you have to, you. 

You want to, you have to want to experience. Everything. And all the joy and the laughter and the memories that they're making with you. And enjoy those moments because that's what life's all about. Don't run yourself into the ground and it's okay to put an iPad in your children's hands with a YouTube video and songs. And, you know, it's, it's okay to do that from time to time. 

Because you're human. You're not a robot. We are all just humans doing the best that we can. And any given time at any given sir, any given circumstance? And as much as I want you to remember that your human, I want you to remember that everybody else around you is also just human, doing the best that they can at any given moment. 

All right. So please just take that moment. When you're feeling stressed and you're feeling just kind of defeated. Just stop for one moment, but you have to become aware of that. Become aware of the moments that kind of take your breath away and you feel like, you know, the world is just coming down on your shoulders. 

I want you to say, Hey listen, self. You got this because you've already been through the hardest moments of your life and you've gotten through to the other end. And you've done that. But now I want you to just sit with that for one moment. And take a few deep breaths. And just restart. It's kind of like control alt delete, right? Sometimes you just need to control alt delete our, delete that second and just reboot. 

And it's okay. Do, because you're human. It's okay to do that. I understand, we all understand. And once we all decide that we're all on the same team and we're all wearing the same uniform. I when can we all just start? Supporting each other. I feel like sometimes life is such a huge competition, you know, oh, this person is, you know, got more influencer is or influencer status. And why did that video? I put out the same video, just a different, you know, different time and, and whatever. And they got 25 likes in this person's, you know, it went viral. 

Life is not a competition. You guys. I don't even know how much. How much of a reach? My podcast is reaching. I honestly don't know, but there's listeners out there. And all I need to do is touch one person in order for it to make a difference or my voice to make a difference. And I just, I, that is why I am here. 

I was done feeling the way that I was feeling. So I got. I just, I got done with myself one day and it was during the beginning of COVID. And I just said, Jenny, you can't, you can't live like this anymore. I did not want my kids to, to watch me. Just struggle and not live life and I'm telling them to enjoy life. And here I am, you know, sitting on the couch and. 

Always kind of feeling sorry for myself. And I didn't want them to see me like that because they deserve a mom that is happy and enjoys, you know, play time with them and making the memories and doing the things. Whether it's, you know, playing a board game or whether we're outside taking a walk with the dogs or whatever the activity. 

You have to enjoy life no matter what it is, because life is so very fragile and so precious. And I think when you reach a certain age, you really begin to understand. Y. When you become, I guess, you know, elderly or an older person that you see, people almost start living life a whole different way. 

Because it really kind of stinks, you know, you spend, you spend what, 30 some years working your tail off. When you're. You know, have the energy to, and then you you're everything slows down. And it's like, okay, I get another chance at life. If you even get that far. And some of us, unfortunately, can't even get that far. 

And so. Stop. Waiting for that moment and start taking the bull by the horns and live your best life. Forget about everything else and yeah. You know what? You got rheumatoid arthritis. All right. But why is it stopping you from doing something? You you, you know, Take a bath. Get some, get some heating pads. I get it. Like, I, I totally understand. 

But stop sitting on the couch and feeling sorry for yourself. I get up on a days, the day that you feel okay. I go do some, go do something that you've never done before. And smile and laugh your ass off because it's good for your soul. And doing the things like that, they give you joy that's will spark joy will make you feel alive. It will make you feel so good that you're going to go. Why was I sitting in the house so long? 

I can do this. Like I can get out and I can, I can do something that I actually enjoy. A few months ago, I took my daughter and her friend roller skating, roller skating. You guys, I can't tell you that I wasn't sore for the week after. But I had so much fun. I don't even know how many decades it's been since I put a pair of roller skates on. Okay. But I had so much flipping fun. 

I, I just wanted to go around, you know, listening to Ghostbusters and, you know, the disco lights and everything. It brought back so many amazing memories when I was young. And you say, have birthday parties at roller rinks. I just, you got to do that, do that for yourself and do it for your kids. Or if you don't have kids do it with your girlfriends, do it with your buddies. Be like, you know what, let's just go do something that we haven't done in so long. You know what I mean? Go to those nerdy 80 parties. Go to. 

Go see a concert, go see a, play it, just get out of the house and start living your life. All right. And we can, we can do it. And I know that you can do it too. But taking the first step. To, to get out there. That is, that is, that is the hardest part. It really is. But once you get past that, You have a whole new kind of mindset shift on, oh my gosh, I can still do this. Despite what it is that I am going through. 

So. Yeah, do the thing. Okay. Now I know that I have like the second part of my health journey coming up. So I guess I can go into that a little bit more, but I just wanted to kind of tell you. A story, um, that I guess. I try to put out of my mind, some people know this, but so, you know, when you're, I don't know, you're in your late teens, right? And your wisdom teeth start coming in. 

So I was, I don't even think I was in high school. I might've just graduated, but unfortunately only three out of the four of my wisdom teeth decided to come in. My two upper and my bottom. Right. So my lower left never came in. And luckily it. It still has not come in. Um, otherwise I probably would never get it out because it was the worst experience of my life. 

So I go in to see the doctor. To remove my teeth. They did it in two separate sessions. Because they wanted to do the upper and one, and then that lower in another. So I go in for the upper and I'm good. You know, I'm sore. I'm puffy. I look like the Michelin baby and the next like month I go in to take that. 

Lower right out. So I go in. And. I think we, yeah, my mom must have had to drive me because they give you the, the night. The net laughing gas. So. I remember being under. And I remember the doctor, like telling, telling the tech. Something, I couldn't really tell what was going on, but I remember also feeling him tugging so hard. 

On my jaw. That and no, I have TMJ too, so I keeping my mouth open for an extended period of time is extremely painful. So I remember him tugging on that lower jaw. And I remember putting my hands up towards my jaw. To actually hold it because I felt like if he towed any harder, my lower jaw was just going to like, you know, disconnect. 

Completely. It was horrible. It was a horrible feeling. And I remember that. So. After the procedure. I remember waking up slowly and, you know, kind of just us walking over to my mom and we were done. I was extremely, extremely sore. So. I go home. And I just, I remember just laying down, you know, that they pack you're full of gauze. I was spitting blood for quite a few days now. 

I know that like after the 48 hour period, they say, you know, swish with the salt gargle, with the salt water and spit out. So you can stop the bleeding. But I wasn't, I wasn't like creating the blood clot. I just kept bleeding in my face was so swollen. I looked like Alvin and the chipmunks. I was. 

When I was all sorts of pretty purple and blue and green and yellow. A wonderful picture of it, by the way. So I went back to, to the dentist to see what was going on. My mom was concerned that I was, you know, what was, what was happening. Cause I was still, I was still bleeding. And. Come to find out that after a couple of different appointments between him and actually seeing. 

Somebody else a few months went by. I realized what had happened. That. They had cut a nerve. In my mouth. Because the tooth was, I don't know. It might have. Uh, you know, an extreme route or whatever the case may be. And so they cut a nerve. Trying to get the tooth out. Which means I no longer have feeling on the whole right side of my tongue. 

So there was about a six month period. That I would constantly bite my tongue burn, my tongue. I chew with my food a lot on my left side, because on the right side, I still bite my tongue once in a while, or the inner inner of my cheek. And, um, It was awful. It was an awful feeling. I had to go to a hospital. I don't remember. I was like a five-hour drive from me and they did like a prick test to see. 

What my feeling was and everything like that. Um, And here I am, you know, decades later and the condition is permanent. I've learned to live with it. It really does still kind of stink. Um, it is, it is a very strange feeling knowing that you only have feeling on the one side of your tongue. So that is a fun little gem there on top of everything else. Right? That's the little cherry that I get. 

So, yeah, so that happened. So let's see I've got the lupus and you know that I had to give my, get a blood transfusion after I had my first for my daughter. And Ray NAS and let's see what else here. So going more into adulthood. I started getting a lot of abdominal problems, a lot of gut issues. I went for so many tests. You name it, the. 

The endoscopy's colonoscopies. MRIs cat scans. Um, What are the, the barium, um, tests with the, you gotta drink that nasty white chalky. Oh my gosh. Can't they figure out a different way to do these tests by now. I was literally almost throwing up or gagging on the table. So horrible. But yeah, you name it. I've I've, I've been there, done it as I'm sure many of you have done Ellie's test as well. 

And what happens when you do these tests? They're all fine. Right? You look fine on the inside. I don't know what's going on. So needless to say. They diagnosed me with IBS. Well, you know, it could be just some stress. How is your stress these days? Well, Ty. You know, everybody's got some stress. The world is tough, right? I. 

Like I said, I'm a yes person. Everything has to be perfect for me. Otherwise I just get a little crazy. So, um, yeah, it just became, it became a really big thing for me. I ended up having my gallbladder taken out. That was the first surgery after I had my two C-sections with the kids. So that ended up being the third one. 

My fourth one was a partial hysterectomy because I had developed many fibroids and cysts on my ovaries. So they took my uterus. And one of my ovaries at the time. They were trying to take out my tubes, but my tubes were so scarred and filled with adhesions that. I, they were afraid that I would actually bleed more. 

Um, so they left them in. After that. So that was the fourth one, the fifth surgery. Let's see was a few years after that this all is in like a 10-year period. Um, I had a pet to go for a lysis of adhesions. To, um, to get out all of the adhesions that were just happening in my stomach, which was why I was having a lot of pain because it was just creating a lot of discomfort and kind of like constricting everything. So adhesions are extremely hard bands of scar tissue that do not give, like there's no stretch in them. 

So I had it from like up from the top, under my rib cage all the way down to like my C-section. So he, he did some lysis of adhesions there and then he ended up, um, you know, telling me he was funny. I remember after I woke up. He came in, he goes, oh, you. And he goes, that was difficult. He says, I'm so glad that we decided to do elaborate. 

The surgery laparoscopic, because if I had cut you open, I would have a sliced open ear. Um, I think he said. I couldn't have been a colon. Must've been my stomach because something was attached to like my skin. And he said, if I had sliced you open, you would have had to have a, um, a colostomy bag. And I'm like, oh dear heavens. 

So. Needless to say, I was very, very happy that I did not need that. And. But my stomach. Oh, my gosh, it looked like I'm, I'm a, I'm a tiny person. Okay. So when you start putting these big instruments inside my stomach and moving them around, I, I was so unbelievably black and blue. I slept with an ice pack on my stomach for almost two weeks straight. 

I couldn't sit up. It hurt to just. I couldn't cough. If I sneezed, I was in so much flip and pain I wanted, I could cry. I could, I mean, I just remember. I am. I should probably post some of these pictures, but they're, they're pretty, you know, they're pretty graphic. So after that, let's see, I started getting some tenderness on my left breast. 

And that wouldn't go away. So now I see a doctor about. Um, with that. Turns out that I had some swollen lymph nodes there and I had to get surgery to remove those from my left armpit. Um, a whole stack of lymph nodes from there. And that was honestly a really, really hard recovery. There are so many nerves under your armpit, right there. 

The feeling and the tingling and shooting pains that I got almost up to a year after I had that surgery. I can't believe it, it was worse than any of the belly recovery surgeries. Seriously. So I have a nice, a nice scar there. Luckily you can't see that one. And then the last recent one that I had was actually during COVID, I believe it was 2021. I went in to have another lysis of adhesions, but I also had my hernia. 

Um, my hernia fixed, they put a mesh in, and then I had a really bad case of diastasis recti. Which is when, when you have your baby. Um, The muscle. You're must your stomach muscles, your abs. Your abdominal muscles will move apart. They kind of separate because the baby pushes them out and now the diastasis can be anywhere from your upper abdomen down to your lower abdomen. So mine happened in my lower abdomen. 

My son was a little bit large for my body. And then having had been pregnant so quickly after I had my first kind of, um, contributed to that part. So. My muscle, my stomach always looked bloated because it was pushed out because all my insides were kind of like popping out. Cause I had no more core. 

My core at this point is it's just, it's not existed. It is so unbelievably weak. So they put the hernia mesh in. I actually, this was one surgery, but two different surgeons. So the one surgeon did the hernia mesh and then the one surgeon that did my. Lysis of adhesions a few years before that one came in to do some more lysis of adhesions, but also remove the rest of my female organs. So I am. 

Now had a full hysterectomy, um, So that was my, my sixth surgery. And now here we are in the present day, I'm actually going to see one of the surgeons, the one that did my hernia mesh. Um, because I'm having some more abdominal pain, unfortunately. So I'm hoping that it hasn't moved. Or there's some adhesions happening there. 

But. My, I guess. My biggest thing for me. Last summer was when I was diagnosed with gastro-paresis. Now gastro-paresis is pretty much. When your stomach just does not work the way that it should. So I'm not digesting my food quick enough. So everything keeps, everything stays inside my stomach and my large intestines and my colon and everything longer. 

So I will always look like I'm five months pregnant. Which is, which is hard for me. It's super duper difficult because I have been asked before in the past. Oh, when are you expecting. And I don't know what to say to that sometimes. I just want to say, oh, you know, in like five months, because I just, I don't want them to feel embarrassed and it just easier than saying, oh, well I'm not pregnant. You know, I have a problem. I'm just bloated, blah, blah, blah. 

And it's hard. So unless, unless, you know, for sure that somebody is, you know, having a child, please don't say anything because there are so many different conditions out there now. That, you know, involve a bloated kind of extended. Belly. So it's, you know, Please just watch. Watch who you're saying it to. Cause it, it could be somebody like me who is struggling and is having a hard time with that, especially when I'm like just over five foot. 

Yeah, I'm I'm, like I said, I'm tiny. And when I'm tiny all over, except for my belly, it's, it's very embarrassing. And it, it really hurts because I never used to be that way. And that is the one thing that has been the hardest for me to really accept. My body now after I've had children and after I've had all these surgeries. 

But once you start to love yourself for who you are and what your body has been through. You're. You know, It's like a whole new world. My kids love me the way that I am. My husband loves me the way that I am. My family and friends don't love me less because I have these conditions. So why do we have, why do we feel that we have to love ourselves less? 

And we have to show. Uh, our children. And this generation that. Body image. Does not. Make or break who you are. It does not define you just as your chronic illnesses do not define you. So when you look in the mirror, next time that you're getting in the shower, I want you to turn around and I want you to look in the mirror and I want you to say two things. 

That you love about your body. And now at first it's going to be like, oh, you've got really nice ankles, you know, or your feet are nice and tiny or, you know, you've got nice color eyes. But sooner or later, you'll get to look beyond that and you'd be like, you know, You look, you look pretty damn nice. You look hot. Like I did this, this is my body. 

And 43 years old and I look flipping amazing. And you can say that to yourself. Why can't you say that to yourself? You would say it to your friend, right? You would totally say it to your child. You would say it to your, your spouse. Say it to yourself. You deserve that. I'm telling you right now. 

You're an amazing human being. You are an amazing person and you deserve to tell yourself that. Once you have start accepting yourself and loving yourself for who you are and what your body has been through and learning those boundaries and not saying yes to everything. And becoming aware of your symptoms. I'm telling you. 

Your life is going to start shifting in a better place. It all starts with one step, get out and do that one thing that you've been wanting to do and just do it. I want you to put it in your calendar. I put it in your calendar today and make that appointment, make that event for yourself, with your friends, with your children, whatever it is you want to do and do it and stick to 

I don't make up an excuse. Just do it. Okay. And don't burn your body out because you just going to keep going down that rabbit hole. All right. So I hope that this episode helped you and please send it to anybody that you think may need to hear this message as well. Referrals and, you know, sharing it, everything like that helps people like me. It just takes one click, one little share. 

And it puts a smile on my face. I hope that you guys are following me across on my social media. And if you haven't subscribed to my weekly emails yet, all you got to do is go to 1, 2, 3 moms squad.com. And you can pop in your email address. A little pop-up will come up. And you'll be subscribed to that and look for, look for new upcoming things that I have going on. 

I have my connect and reflect program. If you're looking for some extra added support and some, you know, some tools to get in your little tool belt to help you live that best life, I'm here for you. And you can go ahead and find more information about that as well. On my website. So with, um, with that in closing, thank you all for being here and being patient with me. It is me, myself, and I doing everything for 1, 2, 3 moms squad. We are a squad. We are a team. We are a community. And I just, I look forward to getting to know everyone a little bit better, and don't forget. 

I have a private community also on Facebook  life beyond chronic illness. And I'm joined me there for some more intimate talk on the chronic illness, community and autoimmune issues and everything. And you can still live your best life. Trust me, you can. I got you. You're beautiful human being. And, um, we'll talk to you next time. 

Have a great one.  

 Thank you all for being here. I am so glad we found each other. See you next time. Have an incredible day. My beautiful friends.