The Emil Show - All Things Relational

How Much Drama Is TOO MUCH Drama?

Emil Harker

A toxic relationship is when two people in a relationship become reactive to each other's reactions, also known as a defensive-defensive cycle. They are unwilling or unable to keep their composure in certain situations without becoming defensive.  

Having the right tools can help to get out of toxic moments. But we need to be able to identify those moments.

5 Personality traits that contribute to toxic relationships:

1.       Strong mismatched attachment styles (see podcast on attachment styles for more information)

2.       Borderline personality features  

3.       Narcissistic personality disorder traits

4.        Codependency

5.       Lack of skills

5 components that contribute to a toxic relationship:

1.       Lack of respect

2.       Constant conflict

3.       Control and manipulation

4.       Lack of support

5.       Emotional and/or physical abuse

Improving a toxic relationship:

1.       Focus on understanding your partner instead of defending yourself.

2.       Write down your triggers and prepare desired responses for when these triggers occur.

3.     Seek help from a trusted therapist. 

 

Taking control of how we show up in a relationship allows for change in the relationship itself.   



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