What is the Difference between Codependent and Interdependent?

What’s the difference between codependency and interdependence in relationships? 

Codependency

Definition: An unhealthy reliance on another person for emotional or physical needs to the point of sacrificing one's own well-being.

Key characteristics:

• Extreme focus on the other person's problems and needs
• Difficulty setting boundaries
• Fear of abandonment or rejection
• Enabling destructive behaviors
• Low self-esteem and self-worth
• Difficulty expressing feelings and needs
• Feeling responsible for others' happiness
• Difficulty making independent decisions

Interdependency

Definition: A healthy balance of dependence and independence in a relationship, where partners support each other while maintaining their individuality.

Key characteristics:

• Mutual respect and understanding
• Strong communication skills
• Ability to express feelings and needs
• Healthy boundaries
• Trust and support
• Ability to function independently
• Balance of power and responsibility
• Shared goals and values
• Growth and change are encouraged

Characteristics of Codependent People (from Melody Beattie’s Codependent No More)

1)      Caretaking

2)      Low Self-Worth

3)      Denial

4)      Poor Boundaries

5)      Obsession and Dependency

6)      Control (trying to control others)

7)      Communication difficulties

8)      Issues with intimacy

Steps to Take if You are Codependent

1)      Figure out what you want.

2)      Start doing what you need to do to meet those objectives. This builds self-love and makes it easier to set healthy boundaries.

3)      Get help. (Check out Emil’s program on Conflict Resolution)

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