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The Emil Show - All Things Relational

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The Emil Show - All Things Relational

If You Follow All the "Reel" Advice, You May Find Yourself With REAL Problems

April 22, 2024 • Emil Harker

It's vital to be critical about any marriage advice you find online. Here's how to ensure you're getting good, reliable information:

1. Source Credibility:

Reputable Websites: Focus on sites run by mental health professionals, relationship therapists, or established organizations dedicated to marriage and family wellness. Look for websites with ".org," ".gov," or ".edu" domains. Examples include:

The Gottman Institute (https://www.gottman.com/)

American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy (https://www.aamft.org/)

Author Qualifications: Is the advice written by a licensed therapist, counselor, or someone with relevant credentials and experience in relationships? Avoid advice from vague or unnamed sources.

2. Look for Evidence-Based Recommendations:

Research-backed: Good advice should be based on established psychological principles and research findings, not just personal opinions. Look for references to studies or reputable sources.

Avoid Generalizations: Be wary of advice that makes sweeping statements or offers one-size-fits-all solutions. Relationships are complex and nuanced.

3. Consider Your Unique Circumstances:

Context is Key: Your relationship dynamics, personalities, and challenges are unique. Advice that worked for someone else may not be the best fit for you.

Gut Feeling: If something doesn't feel right or sounds too extreme, trust your instincts. Don't feel pressured to follow advice that makes you uncomfortable.

4. Seek Multiple Perspectives:

Don't Rely on a Single Source: Get information from a variety of reputable websites, books, or even discussions with trusted friends and family members.

Professional Counsel: If you're facing serious issues, consider talking to a licensed marriage and family therapist. They can provide personalized guidance based on your specific situation.

5. Red Flags to Watch Out For:

Promises of Quick Fixes: Relationships take work; be skeptical of advice claiming to solve all your problems overnight.

Extremes: Beware of advice that promotes all-or-nothing thinking, encourages you to cut off communication, or suggests controlling behaviors.

Harmful or Abusive: Reject any advice that advocates for emotionally or physically harmful actions.

Additional Tips:

Frame Questions Carefully: When searching online, be specific about your relationship challenges. This will help you find more targeted advice.

Use Discernment: Keep a healthy skepticism, and filter advice through your own judgment and awareness of your relationship.

Remember: Even the best advice online is no substitute for open communication with your partner. Building a strong marriage involves honest conversations, understanding, and effort from both of you.

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