The Emil Show - All Things Relational

Closing the Emotional Gap

Emil Harker

What is emotional connection?

Why does it often decrease over time in relationships and how can we get it back?

Emotional connection or intimacy is sometimes hard to describe, but it's easy to know when it's gone. In this episode, Emil discusses the pattern of decreasing emotional investment in relationships and how to turn things around.

Creating shared emotional experiences is the key to connection. Emotional intimacy is the attunement and resonation of our emotional experiences. When emotions are understood and validated, they become a shared experience. Below is an exercise to sharpen skills needed for emotional intimacy.

Learn to share emotions:

  • Identify an emotion. Use an emotions chart or feelings wheel to pick an emotion. 
  • Look up what that emotion means. 
  • Share a story that makes that emotion make sense. 


Learn to identify the emotions of your partner:

  • When your partner is speaking, look for the emotions they are expressing.
  • Try to recognize the emotion in the story and then share with your partner. 

Get your own copy of - You Can Turn Conflict into Closeness