QC: Chronic Illness And Family Life

Chronic illness does not just change a body, it changes a marriage, a home, and the way your kids understand safety. I sit down with writer and advocate Kody Adamson to talk about what happens when your health shifts early in a relationship and you are suddenly trying to hold love, parenting, and survival at the same time.

Kody gets brutally honest about the emotional weight that follows: mom guilt, wife guilt, anger, sadness, and the feeling of missing out on your own life. We talk about why humor helps but cannot carry everything, and how couples can “regroup and reconnect” when one person is running on fumes. If you have ever apologized for the dishes, the laundry, or the plans you had to cancel, you will feel seen here.

We also dig into the hardest layer: kids. Kody shares what it is like when children grow old enough to realize their family looks different, including how their reactions to seizures change over time. We explore simple, practical ways to build connection on bedbound days, like inviting your child to bring their Legos or drawings to you, turning limited energy into focused closeness. We also discuss therapy for children and partners, plus a powerful communication tool they used during a tough season: a “transparency journal” with a 48 hour response rule.

If you are navigating chronic illness, disability, endometriosis related fatigue, caregiving stress, or the mental load of parenting while unwell, this quick connect offers real strategies and real hope without sugarcoating. Subscribe for more short expert conversations, share this with someone who needs it, and leave a review with the question you want us to answer next.

Transcript

Quick Connect Mission And Disclaimer

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Life moves fast, and so should the answers to your biggest questions. Welcome to Endo Batteries Quick Connect, your direct line to expert insights. Short, powerful, and right to the point. You send in the questions, I bring in the experts, and in just five minutes, you get the knowledge you need. No long episodes, no extra time needed. And just remember, expert opinions shared here are for general information and not for personalized medical advice. Always consult your provider for your case-specific guidance. Got a question? Send it in, and let's quickly get you the answers. I'm your host, Alana, and it's time to connect.

Meet Cody And The Reality Check

SPEAKER_00 0:41

Today I'm joined by Cody, who is a writer, advocate, wife, and mom who has spent the last decade navigating life with chronic illness, alongside love, parenting, and all the messy realities in between. After her health dramatically changed early in her relationship, Cody and her partner faced challenges that tested everything they thought they knew about marriage, resilience, and partnership. Through honesty, humor, and a whole lot of lived experience, Cody shares what chronic illness has taught her about relationships, self-worth, and survival. Not the polished version, but the real one. Join me in welcoming Cody Adamson to the table.

Mom Guilt, Wife Guilt, And Humor

SPEAKER_00 1:20

How do you navigate this as a as a wife, as a mother? Because humor is great and it's a really good medicine, but it doesn't solve all your problems. And you have a lot that comes to you. And if you're anything like me, there's a lot of mom guilt, there's a lot of wife guilt, there's a lot of like, I don't want to say shame. I don't I don't have shame behind my body, but there's anger, there's sadness, you know, that you're feeling like you're missing out. How have you navigated that?

SPEAKER_01 1:53

Well, still with humor. I told my husband to divorce me today. And he knew I was joking, I was just like, just divorce me already. I haven't been able to do the dishes in days. And I just feel really bad. Anyways, just been laying in bed, honestly, um, for four days now. Yeah.

Helping Kids Feel Close During Seizures

SPEAKER_01 2:12

So, but I mean, like underneath the humor, where I get the most tender is with my kids. Like my husband's a grown man, he can take it. You know, there have been moments though where he isn't taking it well, and we have to really regroup and reconnect. With my kids, though, they they're experiencing life through such a different lens than all of their friends. And I think they're just now approaching the age where they know it's different. And I was actually just talking to my husband about this this morning is that there's another gal that I follow. She's got two very young kids, like a toddler and an infant. And she has this moment where she's having a seizure and the little toddler's just like walking around her, like, no, no, no, this is what mom does. And my kids used to be that way. But now when I have a seizure, they cry and they don't know what to do. And so honestly, like our biggest focus is making sure that our kids feel connected to us. It's was tempting and at times still is for me to push them all away. Um because if they have less of me, maybe I won't hurt them as much, is kind of like the silly mentality behind that. But instead, that was just doing more damage. And so now, like when I'm having bad days, I try to hold them a little bit more, even if it's just in my bed. Or I ask them to bring me something that they're working on. Like, bring it to mommy. I want to see it. Show me your Legos, show me what you're coloring, you know, just so that they really feel feel like maybe when mommy's not well, this is special mommy time. I don't, they're still so young. They're seven and four, so I can't really like ask them, like, do you feel better when we hang out and look at your Legos? Like, I don't know. But giving what I can when I can is pretty much the only option I've got. Right. And I just hope and pray that in the end, I mean, arguably they're gonna have trauma. And um I hope that therapist does well for them. But um, I hope that like it's at least sweetened with little memories of, yeah, my mom spent a lot of time in bed, but then we got to like watch movies together, we got to snuggle, we got to play Legos.

Therapy And The Transparency Journal

SPEAKER_01 4:34

I don't know. It's it's really tricky to navigate because it is a very emotional thing for them. And in fact, I mean, we're we're about to sign my seven-year-old up for therapy just because he's having an emotional reaction sometimes that we just don't know how to handle.

SPEAKER_00 4:50

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 4:51

And so it's just we're just using what tools we can. With my husband, you know, he's um done his own therapy bouts with it because there's just times where he can't come to me to express how upset he is, because arguably it's upsetting for me to hear it. Um, and so that's been a very useful tool. But I know that like overall, I think being really transparent, we've say that word a lot. Let's be transparent right now. Like, how are you feeling? How are you doing mentally? With with my husband, the transparency, we even for a while there did what we call a transparency journal where um it was getting really hard for us to talk about how hard things were without getting emotional. Um, and so we would write out all of our thoughts of like whatever, and then we'd hand it to the other person and we had a rule that they had to answer it in 48 hours. And so they got to sit down with these thoughts, these emotions when they were ready for it, and then express their thoughts and emotions kind of without the odds of like anybody interrupting it, anybody saying they're wrong. Right. And that actually was really healing for a phase in our marriage where we were really struggling to feel connected. So it takes work.

unknown 6:13

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 6:14

It it unfortunately, if you're chronically ill, you're working really hard just for what a lot of people would take for granted. Yeah. But for me, it makes the reward of those relationships so much richer. I love my kids and I love my husband because we've taken that time to pour that love into those relationships.

Wrap Up And Send Your Questions

SPEAKER_00 6:40

That's a wrap for this quick connect. I hope today's insights helped you move forward with more clarity and confidence. Do you have more questions? Keep them coming. Send them in, and I'll bring you the expert answers. You can send them in by using the link in the top of the description of this podcast episode or by emailing contact at indobattery.com or visiting the Indobattery.com contact page. Until next time, keep feeling empowered through knowledge.