S6E34 I thought the Wild One in me was long gone ... I was wrong

This is it folks! 

The last episode before Mr P and I head off on our Gen X gap year. I'm sharing the story of how the wild, self-trusting part of me went quiet, what it took to bring her back online, and the pinch-me opportunity that landed in our laps as a result.

In this episode:

- the 2011 cold call to a New York wellness centre that led to an internship, a house sale, and my whole family on a plane in six weeks
- how a conversation with a real estate agent four months ago cracked everything open again
- how five months caretaking brand new beachfront villas on a tropical island landed in our laps, and exactly how it happened
- the difference between affirming you're a magnet for opportunities versus actually being open and safe enough to receive them
- what I'm noticing about women in that mid-life "wait, is this really what I want?" season

And finally, how I'm planning to show up for you on the road!

The wild one is not gone. She was just waiting in the wings for me to say "I AM READY!!!".

Enjoy x 

__

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Transcript

[00:00:00] Welcome to Wild and finally fucking Free the show for Disruptors, rebels, and revolutionaries who know they're here to change the damn world. I'm Kylie Patchett, your voice and visibility catalyst, and here we dive into. Unapologetic truth, magnetic messaging and visibility that actually feels good in your body, your bones, and your business.

We share the stories of the out of the box, neuro sparkly, creative, witchy, wild ones, rewriting how we live, love, learn, and lead. This isn't about being louder, it's about being rooted, resonant, and regulated, so you can be real raw and ready to roar. If you're done, contorting yourself to fit the mold and you're ready to own your voice, your power, and your place in the revolution, welcome home.

Let's dive in.[00:01:00] 

Hello, team. This is the last podcast episode before I head off. I, I love the lighting in here at the moment because it looks like I'm a devil. Well, I am feeling a little bit devilish. Um, so yeah, a little bit of an update. Uh, this will be the last ordinary podcast episode. Uh, we are heading off on our grand.

Adventure on the 28th of April. Um, so that's in a couple of weeks time, but my dance card is quite full. So I thought I would do an update episode and then, uh, I have, uh, organized myself with a little click on mic so I can take you on the road. 'cause I'm pretty keen on sharing more of the day to day of what we are doing.

So if you haven't heard the news yet, um, my Aspen and I. About two and a half or three months ago, or maybe a little bit longer than that, um, we're chatting backwards and forwards. Um, it actually all came from having a conversation with the real estate agent because [00:02:00] we own two properties and we were talking about do we, you know, split and sell the back half of our property or whatever.

Anyway, out of that, we had a conversation about renting and how much rent we would get for our house and then. From there, I was saying to my husband like, this is nuts. Like we could be renting our house, keep our asset in Australia because we are always going to want to come home to where our kids are.

Um, but then go on a great adventure. I've been talking about this for years. Um, when my first business was a baby, we, uh. Actually sold everything really, really quickly. So, um, my dad passed away in 2011. He'd been living with us for six years. And, um, when he passed away, we, we just, all of us felt, well, I particularly, um, felt very much like I needed to not be where he'd gotten sick.

Um, he was my best friend and I [00:03:00] was in deep grief. Anyway, um, something inside of me whilst I was on retreat by myself just after he, uh, passed away for some reason. Um, I was watching videos and I had been following this coach in New York City and I really, really loved the way that she approached, um, wellbeing for Women.

And she talked about pleasure being the gateway to wellbeing. And yes, while she was talking about weight loss, uh, kind of coaching. What really attracted um, me to her was her focus on pleasure being the gateway. For unlocking so much wellbeing. And I was like, that is my philosophy. Like that is what I believe to be true in my body.

And uh, anyway, I didn't realize at the time, because in those days most people were writing blogs, like video content wasn't really that common. But for some reason this day when I was on retreat, I saw a video and she [00:04:00] happened to be Australian. Now up until then, I didn't know she was Australian. And I dunno why, you know, there is.

I think about 23 million Australians. Like, it's not like we all know each other. Um, but something possessed me to find the phone number of the wellness center in New York and just ring on the off chance that someone would answer. And just because the time zones like worked out, it was afternoon in Australia, it was the first thing in the morning.

Um, there, this person actually answered the phone. Which is really unusual 'cause she has a whole staff over there. Anyway, I was, I was talking to her and I basically just said, you don't know me from a virus oat, but I really, really would love to come and learn from you. Do you have a training? I can do whatever.

And she on the spot offered me an internship, which was absolutely insane to me at the time. I got really excited. I had that feeling in my body of like, yes, yes, yes. That, that deep like. In the moment knowing, and I [00:05:00] packed up from the retreat and I went home to my husband and I said, um, so how do you feel about me going to New York to do an internship?

Now to put this into perspective, we had a five and a 6-year-old then, right? So it wasn't a small ask anyway, as he is always want to do. His immediate response was, absolutely go, but here's the catch, we're all going. And I was like, okay, cool. So we what felt like on a whim to a lot of people around us, um, sold our house, packed everything up into a container and moved to the United States.

And the whole packing up and putting everything in a container, I think took us. Uh, about six weeks beginning to end. Like we sold our house very quickly. It all just went bang, bang, bang, bang, bang. And, um, then we stayed for a little while in a beautiful ocean resort, um, right on the beach, um, for about nine months, I think, before we actually went.

'cause there was a delay between, you know, when the internship started. Anyway. So this [00:06:00] like, packing everything up on a whim is not new to us. But I did have a little moment a few years ago where I was like. That wild child, part of me that just trusts her instincts and makes a phone call to someone on the, on the other side of the world and has a magnificent opportunity fall in her lap and trusts herself and goes on this mad adventure with her family and has the most beautiful time.

Um, I felt like that part of me had disappeared. It's like, I don't know, I, I think like 46, 40 7-year-old version of me was like, oh, yeah, that's, that's the sort of stuff I used to do. When I was younger and I don't know, for a few years there, I kind of felt like I was getting old before my time and in a bit of Groundhog Day, to be really, really honest.

And I kind of felt like that, like risk taking part of me had, yeah. Was long gone. Anyway, turns out I was [00:07:00] wrong because as I said a few months ago, we were talking to a real estate agent and back then. I had always said, um, 'cause I have an online business, there's no need for us to be anywhere particular in the world.

So in that, um, year that we traveled, that time, I wrote a book, uh, on an iPad in Central Park. Highly do not recommend. It's not the most efficient way of writing a book. Um, I spent three months in New York by myself. I had time to grieve. Um, and I had the most magical, magical time of just, I stayed in a place near Battery Park, which is right down the bottom of, um, New York City.

And I just played this game with myself because I was by myself. The kids and my husband were in Portland, Oregon, which is where his part of his family's from. Um, and yeah, I used to just head out. I used to put good. Comfy shoes on. And I used to just head out for the day and at each intersection I would just go left or right, left or right, left or right.

And the, [00:08:00] I'm gonna take these glasses. Oh, that's better. Can't see my devil thing. Um, and with that just, I don't know, like I needed the space to grieve. Um. You know, if anyone's had kids, like, you know, how full on those first few years are, and also because we went from the two of us, my beautiful husband and I, to five of us in the house in the space of 12 months.

So my, my two babies were 12 months apart. But also my dad had, um, quite a serious stroke while I was pregnant with my second. Daughter. So that's when we sold his house and we built another house on our property so he could be close to us, but also that we could take care of him when he needed to. So he was um, 85 when he became No.

80, is that right? 84 when he became a grandparent The first time in 85 when his second grandbaby was born. So we'd taken care of him for six years and not all of that was hands-on. 'cause for a lot of that he was actually quite a lot better. [00:09:00] But you can imagine that identity shift of going from, like, I went from, you know, managing a private medical company with hundreds of employees across multiple sites in our state, um, and playing the game of success equals.

Getting a good job with good money and taking on lots of responsibility, which really for someone like me, is just code for bleeding yourself dry. Like just to embed the working hard to create income and sacrificing your health all the time. So I was managing a respiratory and sleep clinic and that meant that if someone didn't show up for their night shift, I would just work a day shift and then I would stay and work a night shift.

So, and I was doing that when I was pregnant. Oh my goodness. I look back now and I think. Oh, 29-year-old me. What were you thinking? What were you thinking? What were you thinking anyway? Um, so yes, identity wise I'd gone through a massive shift from, you know, climbing the corporate ladder, [00:10:00] getting this general manager job, lots and lots of self-sacrificing tendencies.

And then came two babies and a dad that needed looking after in the space of 12 months. So I had a massive identity shift. I found it really hard. I. Um, very quickly worked out that I wasn't cut out to be a full-time stay at home mom and also carer for my dad. I found it really difficult and so bless my husband.

He's always been that person that's like, all right, well let's just try this. And so we both used to work half time and yeah, it was really, really good. Um, and I look back and I think, you know, he's got such a special relationship with our girls, and I really do believe that part of that is the hands on.

Parenting in those days as well. Anyway, so gone through that big identity shift. Six years later, dad passes away. Then we decide to go to the States, and then I find myself in New York City for three months solo and grieving. And [00:11:00] what a wildly healing and harrowing experience. I still remember I flew into New York City and I was in the back of one of those, you know, the stereotypical yellow cabs in New York City.

And I'm just like, somebody pinched me. I'm just a chick from Australia. I'm not anything special, but I've been given this internship and we've just packed our whole family up and like, what the hell? And then that first day I worked, I walked to the nearest Whole Foods and I got, you know. Got my food for the, you know, time that I was there, or the first little bit and met my roomie because I actually, um, it wasn't Airbnb back then.

It was something different. I can't remember. But anyway, I rented, um, a bedroom and a bathroom from a lady, uh, in Battery Hill. Um, I think I said Battery Park before, didn't I? But Battery Hill. Now I'm wondering, is it Battery Hill or Battery Park? [00:12:00] Doesn't matter. Anyway, what was absolutely delicious about those three months was that I a had lots of solo time.

Now, now I know from a human design perspective. I am literally like, I've always known this about myself, but now knowing human design as a filter to kind of more self-compassion, self understanding, I'm like, of course I needed lots of time to myself. That's literally what a six two and a manifesta needs.

Um, and I also got to just strap on shoes, go left or right, and just play this beautiful game of beginner's mind for everything. Everything was new. I'd never been, I had been to the States before, but I'd never been to New York. I'd never traveled by myself for that long. I'd never shared a place with someone I didn't know.

I've, I never, you know, interned like there was so many different firsts, but. And now also looking back, I think, of [00:13:00] course, but the A DHD part of my brain was going, ping, do dopamine, dopamine, dopamine, dopamine. So it was really, really cool. And I also definitely, definitely have been thinking for a little while now, maybe that risk taking.

Wild child that just trusts her instincts and trusts herself has disappeared. Anyway, fast forward to four months ago talking to a real estate agent, and back then when we came back from the states, I had always had in my head, like I kept on saying to my husband, like, we always were looking at alternative, um, schooling for our kids.

And I'm like, surely we could put the kids in green school in Bali, which had this amazing approach to alternative, um. Alternative ways of educating kids through the whole being, not just the brain on legs. And um, we could go to Bali and then we could go there and there and whatever. So it's always been kind of talked about, but you [00:14:00] know, that was back in 2012.

Fast forward to now, and we are having this conversation with this real estate agent about selling this block. And I'm just like, hang on a minute. What, what would we get for rent for our house? 'cause you know, I live in a little country town, like I had no idea what places we're renting and selling for.

Um, but because there's so many people moving outta cities to the nearest town near us, it like the price rises are rippling out into even regional areas where we are. And I just said to my husband, what are we doing here? Like I can work from anywhere. You haven't taken your latest firefighting contracts.

So what are we doing? And like I said in a couple of episodes ago, like I had felt like I was in Groundhog Day. And it's been really cool to notice the wild child or the self trusting parts of both of us, not just me, but Shane as well, um, coming out to play and, you know, looking, [00:15:00] feeling into this adventure.

I also will say I have found, like we've moved a lot in our marriage. Lived all over the place and, um, I get bored easily. So we move, you know, have moved very often. And I will say that the packing up of this house where we've been for the most amount of time, which is eight years, has been really hard. Um, just the nonstop to-do list and the, you know, selling things and selling vehicles, but packing everything into a container, like we've done it all before, but it's felt.

A lot heavier. And I dunno whether that's, is it an age thing? Is it that when you get older you do get more fixed in your ways? So you're actually challenging and choosing that adventurous part feels less available? I don't know. I don't even know if there's, that feels like my truth at the moment. But what I am noticing is that the more.

That, and I talked about this last [00:16:00] week as well, like this fear and freedom are two sides of the same coin, right? Like there's been a lot of fear come up. Um, and even my beautiful friend Jody, shout out to Jody, she's listening in. She asked me today. She's like, so how are you feeling about it all? And. Both Shane and I are still feeling quite numb, um, like it's happening, but I think both of us, when we get on the plane, we'll both go.

Who, 'cause there's still lots to get done. Like my to-do list has been on this a three page and, you know, things like, uh, travel vaccinations and organizing visas and then organizing flights from here to there and whatnot. Anyway, that just makes me sound like, you know. What high quality problems to have, you know, what high quality problems to have?

Comp com Ugh. Very cognizant of the fact that there is also a war going on and multiple atrocities across the world. So, you know, there's a part of me that's like stopping a fucking princess. Like you've got a to-do list 'cause you are going on an adventure. Like be grateful. Um, and [00:17:00] I'm overwhelmingly grateful, overwhelmingly grateful to be at a place in our life and my business.

Where we can make a decision like this and have the choice to say, yeah, we've gotta go on an adventure. Um, and it's so funny, it, you know, there's two different camps of people when we talk about this. We were at a family event last weekend and, you know, saying goodbye to family, but also seeing family we haven't seen for a while and telling them we're up to, and there's two different camps.

There's the camp that's like, oh my God, I'm so jealous. Like, where are you going? How exciting. And then there's a camp that's like, but. But what do you mean you've packed everything up and what do you mean you've rented your house and what do you mean you dunno where you're going? So it is interesting to notice that.

Um, anyway, I can finally share that. One of the magical things that has happened as a result of lading this wild child, trusting part of me come back online, part of us come [00:18:00] back online, um, has been the most magnificent opportunity for in our lab and. Um, we are actually going to be taking care of, um, a set of brand new, beautiful beachfront villas in, uh, uh, in island, not in island in Vietnam, on an island is what I was trying to say, um, for a few months.

And yeah, it just

can't quite believe that. It feels like a pinch me moment. It feels already like that magnificent opportunity is opening up multiple doors, and I can't help but think that the belief that that wild part of me had gone offline and wasn't accessible anymore. Shutting down the field of possibilities to only [00:19:00] be certain things open.

And I feel like every single time we say yes to adventure, and yes, we don't know where we're going and we have no control over anything. And yes, there's a war going on, and who knows what will happen with fuel prices and blah, blah, blah. Like all of the things that the more conservative people are like, what, what?

But, but, but, but, but, but, but, um, the more that we say, yeah, but we, we trust ourselves, like, you know. Yeah, we are not going into a war zone for starters. And also, you know, if something happens, like, like someone said to me the other day, what if the world shut down like COVID? And I'm like, well, if that happens, we'll just respond like we're flexible people.

Right. And yeah, it's been quite cool to watch how the field of possibilities feels like it is back to being very wide open instead of. Just inside of this possibility box where my brain is filtering everything else out, that feels a little bit, you know, left of center. So the [00:20:00] way this opportunity came to us, um, you know, I've been, I've been saying affirmations about being a magnet to magnificent opportunities for many, many years.

And I wrote about this a little bit in my newsletter last week, like. You know, affirmations, I'm not anti affirmations, but I think that they're, they're very limited, right? Because affirmations, if you're affirming, I'm a magnet for magnificent opportunities, and straight away there is a part of you that comes out to play going as if, or as if that's for us, or that doesn't feel safe, or your body is completely, you know, going into fight, flight, freeze, fa, et cetera.

Um. It doesn't matter what you say with this part of you. If this part of you, and you know, if you are listening to audio, when I say this part of you, I mean the neck up. You know, you can affirm with the neck up, but if the neck down [00:21:00] does not agree or it doesn't feel safe, it ain't gonna happen. And so it is been interesting also to watch that.

Um, I have this beautiful friend Janine, who's uh, a friend from the Sunshine Coast and she has a friend. Who also was on the Sunshine Coast, but we missed each other, um, missed each other in our timeline. Um, the Sunshine Coast is where we used to live when I first started my business. And, you know, I did lots of networking there.

I've got lots of beautiful friends that I'm still in touch with and, and, um, Jeanine sent me a message, geez, it's only been about three weeks, I think, or maybe four since we got the email, um, text. And she's like, Hey Kylie, I know Shane and you are heading to Southeast Asia for this grand adventure, and I'm so excited for you.

She's just, Janine is a freaking sunshine on legs, sunshine on legs. She's always just so delighted about life and everything. And it's a blessing to have her, um, continue to be a connection. Uh, [00:22:00] and yeah, she said, I know you're over there. You need to see this post. And this beautiful lady who she knew, um, posted this opportunity saying, we are looking for caretakers for our brand new beachfront villas.

Um, whilst we are away in the off season, um, and lots and lots and lots and lots of comments later, I think there's probably 80 or 90 comments underneath that post, but I just, as soon as I read it, I was like. And again, I got the feeling in my body like that tingling, like the hum of like, ooh, this, this feels like something I wanna investigate and feel into.

So I sent this beautiful lady, um, a message, and long story short, they spoke to a couple of different couples and, um, yeah, Mr. P and I have been chosen as the preferred. Um, couple to take care. Um, we really have nothing like, no, um, idea of what [00:23:00] to expect. Like obviously we've talked to them, we've, we've, um, asked lots of questions and, you know, we are there in the down season, so it means that there's gonna be rain and potentially there might be, um, is it now I should know this.

Is it cyclone or typhoon? It is so confusing when you actually, like a hurricane, a tornado, a cyclone and a typhoon are all different things. And some of them are in the northern hemisphere, some are in the south. And I actually can't remember. I think it, I think it might be a typhoon anyway. There could potentially be bad weather during the time that we are there.

Um, uh, and also, you know, what a wild opportunity to go and immerse yourself in a culture because. We don't love doing the touristy stuff. Like, oh, we, I mean, we sometimes do the touristy stuff, but you know, if we are going overseas, we want to see and live the way that local communities do. Like we are not there for the, like, whitened up [00:24:00] western version of life.

Um, and these villas are in a little fishing village, um, in the northwest corner of Food Co. Um. And yeah, there's, there's, uh, these people are partnered with a local family, so there's a restaurant on site and the lady cooks everything for the restaurant, and I'm really hoping she might wanna teach me some things.

Um, and we are right in the, in a fishing village. And, um, yeah. So we are gonna be, we're gonna be the only, um. Westerners, the, well, I mean, I guess if we have guests then they'll be potentially Westerners as well, but the only Westerners, um, around for, in the, in the community. And I'm just so looking forward to just being somewhere completely different again and noticing and [00:25:00] learning.

How people do life in a completely different environment with a completely different culture and completely different values. And it just feels like every single bit of me that was alive and you know, grieving but delighted at being in beginner's mind when I was back in New York for those three months is coming online and I just, I mean, I guess you can probably see it or hear it in my voice, just, I'm just.

Delighted. Like, I'm delighted. Oh, getting a bit teary. Like, how cool. And you know, we don't know what to expect. Like we really don't know what to expect. Um, so yeah, that's our big news and I just am really, really, really fucking grateful to feel myself in the same lighthearted. Responsive, adventurous, [00:26:00] self trusting space that I was back when I made that out of the box phone call in 2011 and got an internship, and it does make me think that you know the difference between affirming I'm a magnet from magnificent opportunities and being open to and feeling safe, being available for magnificent opportunities.

They're two very different states, two very different states. And I, I feel like, you know, I talked to a lot of of women, particularly in their fifties, and it's interesting, the, uh, the vast majority of people that applied for this, um, not applied. It wasn't that, um, it wasn't that formal a process, but, you know, put their hand up for this.

Were single women in their fifties that were looking. For somewhere to take some time out of life and do some soul searching. And it just [00:27:00] leaves me wondering if we naturally get to a stage when we are in the perimenopause to menopause transition, which potentially for some of us lines up with a newly empty nest, or you know.

Parents passing or you know, more caring responsibilities or whatever. There seems to be this thread of conversation for so many people that I know in a similar age group, like I've just turned 51, but kind of think from like mid 40 to mid 50 where it feels like everything becomes up for grabs again, in terms of like, is this really what I want?

Am I really available for this? Do I want something else? What do I really desire? And I just wanna say to you, if you find yourself in that transformative space, even if your identity for so many years has been someone who did live in Groundhog Day, or was the [00:28:00] responsible one, or was always looking after everybody else, or didn't lean towards desires because you believe that this is just how life has to be.

Like if any of that is your reality, like. You do get to choose. And you know, I used to say, I used to have these bookmarks, and on one side it had, you're never a victim of your circumstances. You're only ever a victim of what you believe is possible. And so that was from a course that I used to teach called Destination Delicious.

And on the other side was, your past does not dictate your future. No matter what, your past does not dictate your future. And I think I'd forgotten both of those things, to be really honest with you. And it's really fucking good to feel myself back where I really feel the truth of both of those things.

And yeah, if, if you're at the stage where [00:29:00] you're feeling like you're, the identity that you have right now is not fitting. Like you get to choose something different. The world is literally your oyster. You can choose something different. You can stretch your capacity to have more field of possibilities open.

You can do something wild like ring someone and see where it turns out. You can trust your instinct and go overseas. It might not be any of those things, but whatever it is that's like, you know, in the back of your awareness or something that your body is tingling at going, Hmm, that feels interesting.

Like trust yourself, lean towards it because what sort of magic have we all been cutting ourselves off from believing that whatever we've experienced already is what we can experience in the future, and or believing that now that I'm this old, I can't do wild things or I can't. Go on an adventure [00:30:00] or, and it may, that may not be your belief system, it might be something completely different, but it's like we need to really, really get radically self-responsible for the shit that we're telling ourselves up here.

Um, because yeah, there is a part of me that's like, wow, the last time I took a big risk, like this was 2011. That's a long time between drinks.

What parts of life have I cut myself off from? And, you know, self-compassion always right? Like I was doing what I thought was the right thing. Um, so I don't regret not being there, but it, it does make me wonder, and I have a very clear sense that the me who is recording this, you know, a couple of weeks out from leaving the country, um, I'm not gonna recognize myself in another month.

And I'm certainly not gonna recognize myself in three months or six months or 12 months. And, um, that's really exciting. It's really exciting and yeah, there's a, there's a little bit [00:31:00] of terrified, little, little 10% of terrified there too. Um, but I'm up for it. I'm up for it. So, so next time you see me, uh, I will be, yeah.

Recording somewhere in the world. Uh, and I dunno whether the podcast will be regular every week. I don't know. I'm not, um, I'm very clear that I'm loosening the rules of reality on a lot of different fronts at the moment, and part of that is not believing that my, um, connection with you who are in my audience, in my circle, in my communities, um, require me to.

Have it perfectly planned out so that I have an episode neatly delivered every week. Um, which is the way I've been moving through the world for quite a while. But I just don't believe that, um, I don't believe that being perfect or being consistent is, [00:32:00] um, as important as turning up when I have something to say.

So from, from my daughter's home. Um, and the next week is quite wild 'cause we'll be. Two nights with my parents, two nights with Shane's parents, and then we're on a cruise, which was booked years ago for a friend's 60th birthday, just for the weekend. Um, and then when we get back from that, we've got one week left.

Okay. I'm signing off. Oh my goodness. I'm signing off and I'm super excited for what the future holds. So big love. If you would like to come on for the ride, I would love to have you here. So if you don't already subscribe to the YouTube channel or you know, subscribe to the podcast, um, if you're watching the video, you're already on my YouTube channel, so you can click the subscribe button, um, and for the podcast, all of the links to, um, sign up on your favorite platforms [00:33:00] are@kyliepatchett.com slash pod.

So yeah, let's see where this wild beginner's Mind. Adventure Wild Child Gap year is gonna take us. Have a beautiful day. Thanks for tuning in to another episode. If this episode lit a fire in your body, in your business, deep down in your bones, please take a moment to drop a rating and review. So more rebels just like you can find us.

And don't keep this goodness to yourself. Share it with your disruptive, rebel, and revolutionary friends who are ready to roar right alongside of you. Until next time, stay wild, stay unapologetic, and stay fucking free.