Gap Year S7E2: The grind culture lie that's killing your magnetism

Recorded live on a beach in Candidasa, East Bali.

It started as a conversation with a client about magnetism. That feeling when everything is effortless and you're not trying to attract anything, it's just happening.

Somewhere on this walk I had a bit of a chiropractic adjustment of the soul.

In this episode:

• Why magnetism isn't a skill you turn on and off, it's a state you're in
• The equation that shifted everything: well-resourced = life force energy
• How grind culture has us treating self-care as the reward after the work, when actually it IS the work
• Why choosing not to move, rest, eat well or play isn't just a wellness miss, it's a "no thank you" to life force energy
• What this looks like for neurodivergent people when effortless magnetism + rejection sensitivity dysmorphia collide
• A question I want to leave you with on your True Sky HD and effortless magnetism

If you relate to that feeling of effortless radiance, I want to hear from you.

__

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Transcript

[00:00:00] Good morning, all. Hello. Welcome to another roving mic episode. Hopefully you can hear me okay. I so this is Candadasa. So I am walking on what will be a new beach path. But right now is being in construction, so that's an example of the magic and the mess.

Oh, dear. So it has been a little bit noisier a stay than what we were planning on, but it has been so beautiful. The pool is gorgeous. The people are gorgeous. You get a very simple breakfast meal delivered each morning, and definitely getting into the rhythm of just, yeah, a quiet, simple life, which has got me in a lot of reflecting, a lot of feeling through.

[00:01:00] And I was having a conversation with a client yesterday, a beautiful soul mate client who is a voice coaching client, and we were talking about magnetism, and the way that when we're in this beautiful flow state, that people are like really... Good morning. How are you? Good. So friendly, little Balinese.

Little kiddies always want to say hello. I love the friendliness here. There's some fishing boats in the background as they head out in the early morning and in the evening. Oh, maybe we're gonna run out of time because the beach path you can only use until they start working. Morning. Hey. Morning.

You really are just getting a Balinese life. [00:02:00] Anyway, we were talking about magnetism, and we were talking about this feeling that you have when you're in flow, and that you just have this ability, or not even, it's not an ability, 'cause ability gives an impression that it's something you turn on and turn off, which is not what magnetism is.

But we were talking about, when we're well-resourced and well-rested and all of those things, that there is a magnetism to some people that- It's al- it's almost irresistible. People just wanna be around it. You go into a meeting in a work environment and people are vibing off your ideas.

You, go to a party and everyone wants to speak to you, or you just have that feeling and it, it's not always in relation to other people either. Just having that feeling of I'm literally glowing from the inside out. Another word I use for this is radiant. I love the word radiant. [00:03:00] And to me, radiant's that little glimpse of sun you just got there, like glowing from the inside out.

And when we started talking about this magnetism concept, and we were talking about it in relation to she's also neuro-spatula like me, I said, "Yeah, isn't it a wild combination when you are someone who has natural magnetism, but you also live with rejection sensitivity dysmorphia?" So you can feel magnetic when you're out and, shining from the inside, have that radiance feeling.

Everything feels effortless. You're drawing in, you're attracting. There's no, no efforting no doing to this picture. And then often you get home and the rejection sensitivity moves on in, and then you start second guessing the [00:04:00] conversations that you had or thinking, "Oh, maybe that connection was something that I just imagined."

Maybe... Oh, you can hear morning valley traffic. Maybe maybe what I was feeling on the inside, that glow was, me shining too much, taking up too much space, being too loud, too passionate, too gregorious, too whatever. Gregarious, not gregorious. And yeah, we were just talking about that and how it's just such a weird push me, pull you feeling.

But I think the main thing that I took away from that conversation was I had this realization, I was like, "Yeah, I am the most magnetic, the most-- I have that feeling the most," look at that gorgeous scenery, "when I'm well-rested when I've had enough sleep, when I feel like I've, I've, eaten [00:05:00] decent food, I've moved my body," all of those things.

And as I was trying to capture magnetism in my mind, I was like, really magnetism to me is just, it's when someone is in their life force energy, when they're in their natural flow state. I also have a question mark I'll leave you with at the End of this episode because I am actually wondering about some of the human design behind magnetism, but that's a question I'm gonna leave.

But when I was talking about magnetism, I was like, "The time I feel magnetic is all of these things, when I'm well-rested, et cetera." And then I said out loud, "Being magnetic really is in source energy." You're just so connected to your natural state of lightness and flow, and there's a leaning back, right?

There's not a ... I'm not efforting, I'm not trying, I'm not pushing, I'm not wanting to be the center of attention. I'm not wanting to pull something towards me. It is just [00:06:00] the state that I'm in that is doing it naturally for me. And, to me, that's the power of attraction, right? And once I said out loud when I feel magnetic, that's when I'm in that life force energy," then I had this chiropractic adjustment of the soul con- conversation with myself.

So I'm like, "When I'm well-resourced, I'm magnetic. When I'm magnetic, I believe I'm in life force energy." So all of a sudden, the equation becomes well-resourced equals life force energy. I don't know about you, but that is wah, because I've never, ever made that connection before. And so in essence, when I'm choosing not to move as much as I know my body wants, or I'm choosing not to have, my goodness, connection to nature, like, how can that [00:07:00] not fill you up?

Gorgeous. When I'm choosing to not, eat pretty well, I'm not talking about orthorexia or anything. I'm just talking about, general, enough fruit, enough veggies not too much fake food, all that sort of stuff. When I'm making time for play, when I'm in harmony with others, which means being in harmony with myself.

So all of those things, I would say, are all of those things are basic human needs, right? That's what we're talking about really, basic human needs. So if we're doing the basic human needs tick box, for want of a better word, then we are ensuring that we are, A, the most magnetic, but also if we take it one step further, B, the most connected to life force energy.

So when I wake up out of bed and I go, "Ugh, I don't feel like getting up today, [00:08:00] don't feel like moving my body today, don't feel like making an effort to, find some decent fruit and veg and- I don't know, whatever your, whatever you know is your well resource, right? So for some of us, depending, it might be a focus on more protein.

For me it's just, eating seasonally, locally available food. Hello. I just got watered. Locally available food, in season. So when I'm choosing not to do those things, what I'm saying is, "Oh, no thank you. No life force energy for me. No life force energy for me." I, I feel good. I don't know about you.

My beautiful friend Nic, who is the authenticasastrologer on Instagram she talks about this period that we have once a year called the granddaddy power period. And the granddaddy power period is like a new moon, a, the [00:09:00] capacity of a new moon to set intentions, make wishes that blank slate energy.

It is that, but it is intensified into one period in a year, which is when... Now I'm gonna stuff this up, so I'm not even gonna try and tell you. Something to do with the 11th house, but I might put an explanation from Nic down in the bottom. But right now, I am in my granddaddy power period. So weirdly and wildly, the day we left Australia was the day that my yearly granddaddy power period started.

And in essence this period gives you and it's different length for different w- different different length for different people because I don't believe that astrology should be, equal houses cut into equal slices of the pie in the sky along the ecliptic, because that is actually not the size, the real true size of [00:10:00] the constellation, et cetera.

Anyway, so I'm in my granddaddy power period, and I'm in this period where, I'm really feeling through. You get up to 40 wishes, say, around about. And I'll put some links in down below, so if you're interested you can look it up and see when your power period is. One of the things that, or one of the themes of things that I'm writing down is, may I make choices that nourish me and be as close to, or to be in my natural state, my natural, the full ease and flow and harmony and balance and calm and- Courageous state that I was designed to be in when I first came down to this little old planet of ours that I'm in that state as [00:11:00] much as possible.

And I really have never... And, maybe for some of you listening you're like, "Duh, of course taking care of your human needs opens you up to much more connection to, the universal consciousness." Maybe that's just obvious for other people, but oh my God, all of a sudden they're getting out of bed and walking or, choosing good food, or making time for fun or, having some sort of pause or rest, spiritual practice that nourishes you on that level.

Being mindful of where you put yourself in terms of emotional and energetic not only capacity, but also environments, like understanding what gives you life and what drains life, and not just expecting yourself to push through. Like, all of that to me is now in my mind very clearly, this is the doorway to being as close [00:12:00] to universal consciousness, life force energy.

I've got a client that would use the term God source energy. I don't, I, I don't personally use the God word too much 'cause I think it has connotations of being at school at a Catholic school where God is, hashtag someone who is male, and therefore all of the males are the powerful ones and all of the females are not.

Anyway, that's just my personal story about the G-O-D word. But yeah. So I'm wanting actually to leave you with two questions. First of all, when am I through my habits, through my lack of resourcing myself... And I also wanna be clear, I'm not talking about having, s- way too many people are aiming for, I don't know, this perfect morning routine.

I see people on Instagram all the time, I'm like, "Oh, for fuck's [00:13:00] sake." We do not have to get up and do an hour gym session, and then 20 minutes of meditation of a particular type, and then a green juice, and then 20 minutes of journaling, and then... i'm not talking about it like that. I'm talking about knowing yourself, knowing what nourishes you, having, a group of a few things.

Like today I'm actually doing a yoga class later today, and because I've been walking about 20, 25,000 steps a day on average- Which is a hell of a lot more than I have been. I am my so I fell off the side of the patio the other night because sounds like I'm a drunk. I wasn't, I've not even been drinking all right, we're gonna go to, we've got digger action behind us. I'm gonna turn around. Where is the digger? There it is. Beautiful beach, not so beautiful digger. Totally lost my train of thought. [00:14:00] Ah.

Oh, gonski. Oh, I know, having a group of things that you know nourish you. Oh, no, sorry. Going to yoga this afternoon. I fell off the patio because I was too busy looking out to this view, and I was like, "Wow." I just feel like my default state at the moment, I'm just walking around Bali and that's my, my brain in new places is happy.

Anyway, I was wowing, and I walked off the step the patio has no edges to it, like a lot in Bali, like just, a couple of steps down, and I just walked off the side, ended up flat on my face. Anyway, I think I've done something to my back. And right now, I woke up this morning, I'm like, "Ooh, okay.

No, this is uncomfortable." So I'm taking it easy on the movement front today, but I know, because I'm doing so much more movement, that there is parts [00:15:00] of me that are super tight and super in need of some slower, softer stretching. So I found an ashram, which also has a coffee shop at the front. Can we just have a moment of yoga and coffee?

Amazing. Don't really go together, but yoga and coffee, good coffee, and European style coffee. I can't do the Balinese style coffee. It's like Turkish coffee. Pretty weak, but then there's like sediment at the bottom that's whoa, take your paint off your walls. So anyway, that's what I'm doing this afternoon.

But yeah, so I'm not talking about the perfect morning routine, I'm just talking about having enough things that you know. And that can include I wanna say for us neurosparkly people, sometimes the whole self-care thing, or self-devotion, or fulfilling your human houseplant needs, whatever you wanna call it, it's really hard because a lot of it takes a lot of transition, a lot of "Oh, if I wanna go to the gym, I've gotta change [00:16:00] clothes, and then I've gotta drive to the gym, and I've gotta remember my towel, and my water bottle, and blah, blah, blah."

And I don't know about you, but for me, when I'm not, When I'm not well-resourced, sometimes that feels too much. And what I'm finding so much more easily here is, apart from the fact I'm not in my own bed, so I'm waking up stiff anyway. So it's okay, the easiest way to attend to this is I've got my green thongs on, good old Archies thongs with the arch support.

Couldn't be bothered putting sunscreen on, so I've got my little light wrap on, a little bit of sunscreen on my face and my chest, and make it easy. So yeah, when you are resisting your own care, I wonder if it would be easier to gift yourself if you made the equation, this self-care, this taking care of my physical, emotional, energetic, spiritual needs actually opens the door to me being in more [00:17:00] and more often my natural state.

So ease, flow, abundance, calm, magnetism. Now my second question is, let me know if you relate to the concept of feeling effortlessly magnetic. And I'd be curious, except that this comes with a caveat . I'm not curious what human design type you are in tropical because I don't believe in falsifying types based on what is not happening in the sky.

But if you are listening and you know your True Sidereal human design, I'm super interested in what type you are. Now, as I've talked about like a lot on this show, when we are talking about human design and we're trying to box in, nineteen-- or nineteen, almost nine billion people, or is it eight billion, [00:18:00] whatever it is, into five buckets of human design types, that's bloody ridiculous, let's face it.

It's never ever going to account for the variation in each of those buckets. But I am very interested what type are you, because I have a theory emerging that when I'm talking to clients about this sort of effortless attraction thing, there is this very specific flavor for manifesters and manifesting generators, or seems to be.

So help me out with a little bit of research and tell me if you do relate to that feeling of just being radiant, being in your full self energy and like your, I don't know, like the client the other day was talking about. "It's like I'm a bug zapper. Everything comes to me." And I'm like, "Yeah, but that..."

She-- then she corrected her analogy because she's "Oh, no, that doesn't sound right because that's like I zap people." But it's more like everyone wants to come towards the fire and warm themselves at it. That there is, an attraction point. [00:19:00] So yeah, I'll leave you with that. I'll leave you with those two queries.

Would self-care become easier if you could make the equation self-care equals life energy, universal energy, more flow, more grace, more abundance? 'Cause we're talking about frequency, right? Local traffic. Talking about frequency. We're talking about clarity of frequency. You better believe when you're vibrating at depleted and, tired.

Hello. Coffee today? Sorry, no thank you. Ta. Depleted and tired. All good. Depleted and tired and, full of crappy- Morning. Good morning. Full of crappy food and, have really had to sit with the fact that I just, lifestyle wise, when I was at home, I was getting into some really bad habits.

Wasn't moving enough, [00:20:00] prioritizing work time, so sitting, a lot of sitting, a lot of shortening of my hip flexors, which of course comes with other ongoing issues, and not eating that well. Definitely not prioritizing sleep, so staying up too late, doom scrolling because my life was not sweet enough.

I was not feeding the fun, the family, the connection, all of the things that feel, make me filled up. And so of course then you go looking for sweetness, sugar, connection on a screen on your phone. And, I can see it now so clearly 'cause I'm out of it, but far out, man, I was so inside of that pattern that, not good. Not good at all. All right, seems like they are ramping up to start the diggers, so I'm gonna get off the beach and make sure that I'm safe, like everyone else scrambling off the beach at the moment. It has been good to chat. I've had some beautiful feedback for these [00:21:00] more roving style episodes, so I hope you're enjoying them.

It's been interesting. I've bought a RØDE mic so that I would have some, good clear sound whilst traveling and yeah, it's been a little bit... it's pretty simple to start with 'cause it's just like plug and play, right? But just editing the last episode, and again with this one, just making sure that the clarity of the audio is good enough as well.

So if you have any feedback, I'm all ears. No point recording these if they're too hard to listen to, right? So enjoy. I'm going to go and get my beautiful coffee from the ashram. And I hope wherever you are in the world, that you're having, ah, a beautiful day, or night, or evening, or whenever you are listening to this.

And that you can take the time to fill yourself up. Fill yourself up. If you think about yourself [00:22:00] as a conduit, as a vessel for life force energy, I reckon for most of you it makes the self-devotion just a no-brainer, right? It's of course I do that. Of course I treat myself well. Of course I take care of my human houseplant needs.

So from beautiful Bali. And if you're thinking about coming to Bali, I highly recommend the East Coast. The only little kind of asterisks is that at the moment they're building this beach path, so they seem to be making very good progress. I suspect that they're going to be working Monday through Saturday.

So that is where the diggers are, and that is where I'm staying. So they've been right out the front for the last two days. Which has been interesting from a work perspective, because I did intend to do a full day's work this week at some stage, but that day's [00:23:00] work needs to be recording for a new program, and I haven't been able to because there's been diggers in the background.

So instead we went to visit Virgin Beach, which was absolutely spectacular. All of those photos are on Instagram. Yeah. So let me know where you love in Bali. Next step for us is Da Nang. No, sorry Amed, East Coast Bali. Then I think we're gonna go over to is it that island? Yes, that island.

Which is Nusa Penida. Haven't done any snorkeling yet. Went to Virgin Beach yesterday, but the snorkeling was quite rough, and I just had a sense that the snorkeling at Amed's gonna be even more delicious, so I'm looking forward to that. And then after that we don't know where we're gonna go. We might go further around on the north coast of Bali, and then down the middle strip so you end up going through Ubud.

But Ubud is not the town it used to be. Like I first went to Ubud [00:24:00] about 15 years ago, and it was beautiful. And then I spent one night in Ubud about six years ago. Yeah. Bali is becoming very busy and quite commercialized, and it's a bit sad. But I guess, you know- When there's a tourism that depends on tourism, when there is a culture country that depends on tourism so much, of course the tourism is gonna drive, drive how it feels.

Which I don't know, there's a part of me that's this beach path will be so beautiful when it's done. But does that just mean there's hordes and hordes more tourists and, which is beautiful for the locals, but, it does impact the experience for those that come as well.

So anyway, been thinking a lot about that, about how cultures, how culture dictates environment, and [00:25:00] how environment dictates culture, and how having other cultures come into a cultural environment impacts in positive and negative ways. But yeah. Anyway and then after that, after Bali, we are heading to Da Nang, which is in Vietnam just for a week.

And then we are heading to Phu Quoc, which is where we are caretaking a little place right on the beach called Anchovy Beachfront Villas, and we'll be there from about mid-June to mid-October. So that's gonna be another whole wild experience, which I'm really looking forward to. So yeah. Anyway, enjoy your day.

Have a beautiful soul nourishing day because you, the vessel of life force energy, deserve it so much. Bye.