Ep. 155: Making Space for What Matters (Part 1)

In this week’s episode, the conversation centers around the importance of slowing down and intentionally pouring time back into yourself. From prioritizing mental and physical well-being to creating space for rest and reflection, the hosts highlight how taking care of yourself becomes non-negotiable after facing uncertainty.

Tune in now for your weekly Dose!!!

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Transcript

SPEAKER_03 0:04

You're now listening to a pot and dose of three with your hosts Linda, Jasmine, and Kathy. And we're here to bring you your weekly dose. Hey, hey, hey! Welcome back to a potent dose of three. Happy whatever day you're listening to this episode. Um, I hope everyone's day is going well. But, anyways, I know last week or the few past Mondays that we released the episodes, it was a lot about Jasmine. I want to say we had about four parts about Jasmine. You know, Jasmine was going through the trenches for a while now with the crazy health diagnosis and just um health scares. So I do want to follow up on Jasmine and just ask more questions about life after being diagnosed or being said that she had cancer and just like how her life has been going since everything. So let's get into the episode. So Jasmine, Miss Jasmine, let's uh let's do it. It's story.

SPEAKER_00 1:25

What else do you want to what else do you want to pull out of me?

SPEAKER_03 1:28

I want to know everything because I was pulling out last time, but I got I got some more questions to pull based off of what you say. But I know life has been different for you since the whole kidney scare. Um, so give the listeners a little bit more of what you've been going through.

SPEAKER_00 1:46

Yeah, life has been a little different. I think um going through all of that was it's crazy because I really thought I was woke or like just aware. Um, and I think that even I feel like that really more opened my eyes to, you know, how I was living and things that I probably wanted to change in my life. So for example, um, I've talked about this before, but just like the amount of emphasis that I put on school and how focused I am in school. And and I wanted to kind of have a little more balance. And so for me that meant spending more time with family, um, friends, my partners, my partners, my partner. And um, so for me, that meant really just taking time to go out like on dates and do things and even like learn more about myself. Like I wanted to get more into my creative side. So um, you know, my mom came to visit me and helped take care of me while I was healing from the surgery, and my sister came too, and I took that time to like put movies and watch them with her and introduce her to maybe movies from our like from when we grew up. Um, I showed her what I showed her. I showed her the princess diaries. Um uh we we also like started art projects. Go ahead.

SPEAKER_03 3:04

No, no, no, no. I was just gonna jump in. I was like, not you talking about acting as if we're just the elders compared to your sister. First of all, your sister should have grew, your sister should have grown up on princess diaries too, talking about we Stone Age and she's a gin. Is she Gen Zier?

SPEAKER_00 3:20

Very valid, but if you if you guys don't know, my sister is 20 years younger than me. So that's Oh oh my gosh.

SPEAKER_03 3:27

Oh, sorry, I hit the table. Jasmine, I thought that we were talking about little Vanessa. I forgot you had a baby sister. You are valid. That's a valid. See, Linda, just shut up because I just saw you were talking about Vanessa. I forgot about the other little sister. I forgot your mom completely started over. You're right. We are Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 3:47

So yeah, she's 20 years younger than me. So I was showing her like the princess diaries and other cool movies, which is really funny, Linda, because I'd be like, Did you watch this yet? And she'd be like, Yeah. I'm like, Wait, who? She's like, Well, Vanessa, I'm like, so I was like trying to figure out what Vanessa hadn't shown her because Vanessa had shown her like um The Princess and the Frog and other movies like that. So she'd already seen some because of Vanessa. But so we did that. We did art projects together. Um, it was really cool. Uh we made um, we used tissue paper to create like a flower, like like a flower. And uh I was showing her, you know, how to do that. And then I even wanted to get into other projects myself. And so uh me and my fiance, we we bought moss and we're gonna make like a moss wall. And then yeah, so I'm just trying to get more into my creative side. I started coloring, I actually started reading books. Um, I just wanted to, I don't know, do things differently and just focus more on developing myself more as a person instead of like professionally and things like that. And that's been really nice, actually. It's been really nice. I haven't done something like this in a while, and I'm probably gonna even start journaling too. Um, I know I've probably mentioned a while ago I wanted to start journaling, but I haven't yet. So I'll probably start doing that. But just trying like exploring and doing new things and even like going out. Um, you know, being a med student, you're always busy. And so I remember like people would plan things and I'd be like, oh, I can't go, I'm busy. Started going out with more with classmates and doing things like that because I I deserve to be human too. So yeah.

SPEAKER_02 5:22

And I feel that's something that I loved and I've seen from you that and it's something that also like when I look at Jasmine, it's also kind of like a self-reminder. Um, because we're always so absorbed with grades and with like tests and with clinicals, and like I gotta learn this, I gotta do what this is just I guess I'm talking personal experience, like I gotta be the best, I gotta like, you know, do everything right. I need to know this before somebody knows it, and I don't look as smart as I think I am. Like, you know, like all these things that you focus on, and then sometimes you lose the perspective. Like you say, I deserve to be human, like I deserve to go out, I deserve to, you know, and then that's something that I have really seen from you. Because I guess like sometimes like medical school is intense, like it's intense, it requires a lot of hours, it requires, and then I guess because so a lot of people say it's intense, and you're like, okay, I there's no time to joke around, there's no time to like really live life, and that's where like um I think people are wrong because you're in it for so long, like so many years, like you're gonna waste literally like prime years because you know it's your 20s, your 30s, like you know, so it's prime years of your life, waste, waste in a way of like just being in a library, studying, stressing out. Um, you get sick because you're stressed out, so it's like and it becomes like a whole cycle, and then you're like, damn, like the when they ask you, yeah, you graduated, you're a doctor, you're successful. But when they ask you, so what else did you do? And then you're like, damn, I didn't do anything else. Like, that's all I did. Because it happened to me when I was an undergrad. I don't know, I was being like so focused that I really didn't do anything, I didn't have no college experience of like, oh, going out into like a certain amount of time, getting wasted, none of that happened.

SPEAKER_03 7:08

You were just working your butt off. Yes. Yeah, that's the reason why I'm like, people should just go away for college. But you had responsibilities and where you had to work and then go to school and like that adult life at a young age.

SPEAKER_02 7:26

Yeah, and then I'm like, wow, I'm so boring. Like, I don't have no story. Exactly.

SPEAKER_03 7:32

Like you didn't get to experience. I feel you didn't get to experience how to how to uh drink like chug drinking beer upside down from the keg and um hiding under the bed from the the resident or RAs, resident assistants or whatever. Like that's part of like the developmental stages. But I I agree when you say, well, not a I don't I don't relate to you, but I see what you're saying of like when you start looking back, like dang, what did I do with my life? Like I'm boring because you were just working and going to school, and that that's what your life consists consisted of. Um but yeah, no, no fun. No fun at all.

SPEAKER_02 8:17

No, we're just but I'm glad you got to correct it on time, you know, like you know, in a way.

SPEAKER_00 8:24

Yeah. And and funny that you say that because um so one of my classmates, um, she a long time ago, she was telling me she liked um she liked puzzles. And I was like, puzzles. I was like, puzzles are for old people. I told her. Tell me why I'm over here doing puzzles now. So I messaged her and was like, hey, I'm sorry for telling you, like, you know, puzzles are for old people. I'm over here doing puzzles too. But yeah, I'm just trying new things and doing things that, you know, maybe I wouldn't have done before, and I'm actually enjoying it.

SPEAKER_03 8:59

So but why? But why? Like, what made you want to start doing these things? I I know like it wasn't said, it's insinuated, but you didn't actually tell us why. Why did you start doing all these extra activities and spending more time with family, et cetera, et cetera?

SPEAKER_00 9:18

For me, you know, when I got the um diagnosis of uh renal cell carcinoma, I um I was like, dang, if I die tomorrow, like nothing matters. Like for my school, nothing matters. It doesn't matter. My memories would be with the books, right? Um, versus if I like, you know, were to have more balance and spend more time with family, at least like if if I wasn't here, my memory would, you know, be lived on with my family members and all that, and I would have uh enjoyed spending time with them. So I guess it just changed my perspective on like the amount of balance that I had with school and with like my family. So that was basically the main motivator to start like spending more time with my family and to also like get to know who I am, because like Kathy said, we we are so busy that sometimes we lose ourselves in the grind. And um I sometimes I'd be like, I don't even know what I like anymore. I know I like documentaries, but besides that, I don't know. Um I know I like sweets, but that that was the main motivator was that if I wasn't here tomorrow, what would I want to do? And it would be to to spend more time on myself and more time with family. So that was the main motivator, but I'm happy in a sense, like I'm happy things happen for a reason, right? Like and so while I don't wish anyone to have to go through that experience, it did I don't know, make me better. Like I have less fear about things because nothing could be scarier than someone telling you you have cancer. I have less hesitancy to do stuff, I am less hard on myself, I give myself more grace. I don't know. I just I think a lot of positive came out of it after all the negative. But um, I think overall it made me just like a more balanced person. Like I don't know how to describe it other than that. I just want to live for me too.

SPEAKER_03 11:28

I understand what you're saying. It's just it's unfortunate for you that the situation that caused you to think this way was just so like dramatic. Like it's just so over the top, and it could have been prevented. You know, we talked a lot about this the last episode, but I'm happy like now, because you're still you're still very young, and I'm happy now that you've come to that place again. It sucks that it had to be like a cancer scare for you to get to this place. But there's many people way older than us who are still just stuck in a cycle day by day, stuck in a cycle. If it's not work, if it's not raising a family, if it's not school, it's always something. And for me personally, because I feel with us, the three of us, we've always been working our butts off to achieve something. Like, and a lot of the time, the most biggest one was school. Oh, let's get in, let me get into nursing school, let me get into medical school. I need to focus, focus, focus and study. And we get to that place, and even in school, the level just keeps rising, right? Yeah, it's always something, and then like you lose yourself. Like Kathy said, like she's undergrad, she just remembers her herself going to school and working. And me, I remember busting my butt off, being depressed in school, letting school take all of my energy and all of like myself. And it's like, why? Why lose myself and sacrifice so much for a system that does not care about you? And I know that sounds like really dark or dramatic, but it's it was it's a lesson. It's a lesson that I'm still currently currently learning from when I was in school, and then now me working as a nurse practitioner. So that's why for me it's important that I also I've been also making sure that I do things for myself that's outside, that's separate from Linda the provider. Because I'm not just Linda the provider, you're not Jasmine the provider, you're not just Kathy to the provider. Like you, you need to find your find, just find things that you like to do. And I'm finding I'm I'm right behind you, Jasmine. Yeah. Right behind you.

SPEAKER_00 13:37

No, girl, I feel like out of anybody who has tried to find things, explore themselves, I feel like it's Linda. Um, I feel like Linda has is just always the kind of person to try different things. No, you do. You really do. Um, so the fact that you're going deeper into that, that's amazing. Don't know how much deeper you can go, but no. Um, but no, Linda, I that's the same thing I tell my classmates is um no one is going to take care of you if you don't take care of yourself. Um, I sometimes I would see them stressing and I'd be like, take a break. Like it's okay to take a break. Granted, I'm very hardcore. Like when I'm studying, I am studying. Like, don't talk to me unless I'm on my break because I give myself breaks. Um, but also I'm also like really passionate about taking care of yourself. So I also started going back to the gym and I'm feeling a lot better. Granted, when I like set the alarm, I did not want to wake up, but I always leave the gym feeling better. So I'm I'm enjoying that too. And and right now I'm in um dedicated. Actually, I'll talk about dedicated later, but um or should I talk about it now? Because I also want to talk about how I celebrated um my final because I'm officially done with um didactics, so I will not be yeah, I'm I'm done with didactics, meaning I'm done with all the school part of of med school. Now going forward, it's going to be uh rotation, so I'll be in the third year now. Um, and so after I finished my second year didactics, I was really excited. And so um I had planned, um, you know, with everything going on with like my health condition, I'd planned to, I was like, you know what, I'm gonna start going out more. I'm gonna start going to concerts more. Uh so I signed up for a Banda Rave and I had like bought extra tickets. So my cousin came and then um a friend came and I'd I was like, I've been to a rave before, but I'd never been to a banda rave, so I was really excited. And my actually we were all really excited, so we got here and we were um we were pregaming here at the house, at my house. And then I was like telling my other friend, I was like, hey, put the address in because I I don't know the area as well as him because he lived here longer. So he put the address in. Um we get out the Uber, uh, he gets in line, so I follow him. We're waiting in line. And um I asked the security multiple times, like, what line do I get in? Because I I I don't want to get in a line. Wait in line forever and then tell me it's the wrong line. So I asked two different security guards, like, is this a line? And he was like, Yeah, I was like, okay, great. Because the other lines were way longer. So I was like, okay. Um, so we're waiting in line, and then there's these two guys in front of me, and then the two guys are like, they're not gonna let us in. We've been here forever. I was like, really? He's like, Yeah, I'm like, I was like, step behind us, step behind us. I was like, let my cousin go, let me go. Because my cousin had like a low, low dress, I don't know, like how what do you call it? Like a low low cut, like a V cot? Low cut, yeah, low cut dress. I was like, let us get in front of you. He's like, okay. I was like, don't worry, I'll let you. I was like, I'll say you're part of my group too. He's like, okay. And so, you know, I work my magic, I get us in, right? I get us in. And then I get the two guys in too. And then like I go show my tickets, and I'm like, they're listening, and I'm like, hmm, this doesn't sound like Banda, and this doesn't sound like Rave. I was like, maybe it hasn't started yet. I was like, maybe it hasn't started yet, right? So I'm just like, whatever, like, trust the process, trust the process. So then I like pull up my tickets, I show her, and she's like, This is the wrong club. And I was like, What? Where's it at? And she's like, it's like she goes, like, I don't know why I heard, but I'm pretty sure she said it's like two miles away. And I was like, Oh, oh no, two miles. I was like, we just Ubered here and just got out the Uber. And then this guy's like, no, no, it's not two miles away. This other guy goes, um, he's like, it's like right here. He's like, just get out and turn right and just walk and you'll see it. And I was like, okay. And he's like, I'm the owner too. I was like, oh, I was like, in that case, can you like let us in? You know, we waited in line and I don't want to wait in line again. And he's all like, Yeah, yeah, just tell um, I don't want to remember his name. I think it was Brandon. He's like, tell him Brandon sent sent you. I was like, okay. I go to security, I'm like, hey, uh Brandon sent uh sent us and he said if you could let us in. He's like, uh tell him to text me. And I was like, I don't got Brandon's number, guy. I don't have his number. No. Yeah, and I was like, okay, I'll be right back. So I turned like I turn around, like, I was like, whatever, I'll just go back and look for Brandon and ask him to text him. So I go back, but Brandon's actually walking back as I'm walking. So like we meet each other, and I'm like, hey, like they're actually asking um if you can text him. He's like, don't worry, he's like, just come with me. And I was like, okay, so he actually let us in, which was really nice. So we get in and we get drinks, and I hear like rave, but it's not banda rave. And I was like, okay, whatever, trust the process, I guess. So so um we get drinks, and then it's rave music, but it's like English rave, you know? So it's like, I don't know, like regular rave music. And then finally they're like, Oh, we're gonna start the banda. And I was like, okay, cool. So there's an actual banda, like an actual banda band there. And I was like, interesting, I wonder how this is gonna work. But I was like, okay, trust the process. Like, I'm like, I'm just gonna go with the flow. So um, it's really packed in there. The tickets were sold out too, because like I had multiple people who wanted to go, like I had friends who wanted to come. I had like my other cousin was trying to come, um, but they were sold out. We even called the place and he's like, No, you're like the 20th person to call and ask for more tickets. We don't have tickets, and I was like, Oh wow, it was like this is gonna be amazing, you know? So the banda the banda finally starts, and it's just banda. And I was like, Okay. So I'm like dancing, and I'm like, maybe they'll like start in a few songs. So I'm just dancing, it's still banda. I'm like, okay, and then I'm like, it's it was so hot in there, you guys. I'm already menopausal because of my medication, okay? Like, I'm already so hot, and my medication just elevates it. Like, I'm already so hot, but being in that club setting was ridiculous. And I was like, okay, like my cousin's not saying anything, and my my friend is not saying anything. So I'm like, I'm not gonna be a complainer and I'm just gonna deal with it. So we're dancing, and I'm like, okay, and I'm like looking at my cousin, like, is she gonna say something? Looking at my friend like, is he gonna say something? I'm like, okay, no, Jasmine, just whatever. Just I was like, I was like, just be strong. I don't know what to do. Like, I was just like, I didn't know what to do. It was so hot, and I didn't want to be like a party pooper because I was the one that invited both of them. And I was like, you know, I didn't I didn't want to be the one. And I found the I found the place. My cousin looks at me, she's like, Can we like go outside? I was like, Yeah, let's go outside. We go outside. My friend, my friend Junior is stays inside and starts dancing with someone else. We're like, whatever. And then we're outside by the window, like outside, like trying to get fresh air. And I just hear other people being like, It's so hot in there. And I was like, Okay, it's not just me. Like, it's hot in there. My cousin's like, it's ridiculously hot in there. I'm like, okay, it's not me. Cause you know I'm always hot. I'm always hot. So I was like, okay, it's not just me. And then the girl goes, I thought it was gonna be a banda rape. I was like, me too. So we all thought the same thing. We're all like, what is going on? There's no AC. It's not a banda rape, it's just banda. You know, like I don't know what's going on. So my cousin and me and we're like, why don't we just go back to the first club that we that we accidentally showed up to? And so we're like, okay, let's go. And we're like I don't know how we're gonna get Junior, my friend Junior, out of here because he was having so much fun. Like he was dancing with people. But we're like, hey, it's too hot in here. Do you want to go to the other one? And he was really chill about it and he decided to go with us. And then we're like, oh, we already bought tickets for this place and now we gotta buy tickets for the other place, right? And I was like, that's and we bought drinks already. So we're like, that's spending more money than we really wanted to. So fortunately, I ran into the owner again and was like, hey, by the way, do you know who owns the first place we were at? And he was like, Yeah, he's like, I don't know if he said he owned it, but he said he like had pool. And I was like, okay. And I was telling him, like, um I was like, it was a little too hot in your club. And and I was like, I don't know if you want any suggestions. Um, and he's like, Yeah, I'll take suggestions. And I was like, Great. Um, I was like, Do you want to talk later? And he's like, Yeah. He's like, Okay, so he got it into the other club for free and let us in and everything. So that was really cool. And then later at the end, I was able to talk to him and tell him um basically, like, you know, maybe the AC and maybe actually have Banda Rave because that's what you actually like advertise, and it would do really well. Um, and so he he took he was very open to the feedback and things like that, but um, it was cool. We were basically club bouncing, bounce whatever you call that. And um, I had a lot of fun. Um, even like the whole getting lost, it was hilarious, and um, it was an experience, and yeah.

SPEAKER_02 23:35

I'm happy you did that because I feel like the jazz before wouldn't have done it. I feel like the jazz before would have been like, you know what? I just finished my last final. And it just, I don't know if I'm explaining this right, and I wish the listeners could, I don't know, see what I see, but it's because like even with like hard subjects, you also take it more lightly. Like, I know you were mentioning, I don't know if you mentioned this already, but like one of your classes this semester was really challenging. I think it was near neurology. And I felt like the jazz before would have been so stressed and self-consumed, and like, oh my god, I don't get it, I don't get it, I need to get it, I need to get it. But you took it lightly when you took that test, and you know what test I'm talking about, and then you're like, but it's okay. It's like, you know what? I got another like you took it so lightly, and I was like, I wanna be like her because I don't take it lightly. Like, because but that you know, like that's the mentality that we're in, you know, like oh my god, like and then you get all stressed out, you get like I get gastritis, I get a freaking migraine. I'm like, I didn't pass, what am I gonna do? Because you think it's the end of the world when it's really nah, it's just a test, like you get another chance, and then I love that because you even said it, you're like, I have another chance, I'm chilling. The way that she said I'm chilling, I was like, Where's Jasmine? Like, what have you done with her? But then I, you know, like I feel like that attitude, and then right now, like what you say, like you go into a rave, and then I feel like you would have been like, Oh my god, it's not going how I plan, and like you would have been stressed out more, but you took it again lightly. Like, let's just see how it goes, let's see like where the night takes us, and you got to enjoy yourself, you got to get drinks, to like really like leave. So I'm glad you're sharing all of that um with us.

SPEAKER_00 25:28

Me too, and and you're right, because uh the the I don't even want to say the old me, but the old me uh would have been like hold that thought.

SPEAKER_02 25:38

Stay tuned for next week's episode.

SPEAKER_01 25:41

Thanks for listening to this episode of PD3 with your hosts Linda, Jasmine, and Kathy. Make sure you like, comment, and subscribe at a put in dose of three so that you never miss an episode and your weekly dose.