Strong People Need Rest Too (Episode 3- Part 1)

Rest is not a reward, it's a requirement. In this episode, we confront the hidden exhaustion strong people carry. Why productivity often feels tied to worth, and how God designed us to rest without guilt. If you've been running on empty, this is your permission slip to slow down. 

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Transcript

Vacation Confession And Anniversary

SPEAKER_01 1:16

Hello everyone. This is season eleven, episode three. We're gonna talk about strong people need rest too. So in part one is going to be about rest is not a reward, it's a requirement. And it's funny how I'm talking to you guys about this because I'm out here on my vacation. Yes, I'm on vacation. I got two weeks of vacation, and I'm over here working doing the podcast for you guys. I know it's contradictory. I already know this. And why are you telling us to rest? And here you are working doing your vacation. But you know, I've been thinking about you guys, and I was like, you know, I think they could use another episode. And not only that, I really want to give this information to you guys because I feel like this is something that's gonna help you. So when I get done with this podcast, I'm halfway dressed right now. Like I got my makeup on, but I don't have my clothes on to go out the door. But I will be doing what I gotta do, and I'm gonna hit the door and go out and go meet up with my husband. So not only that, this is my vacation, this is also my fourth-year wedding anniversary week. So Wednesday was our fourth anniversary, and right now things are looking so great, things are good. It's funny because we were at Ross yesterday, that's one of my husband's favorite stores. I'm I remember mentioning that to you guys in a few episodes back. And yes, Burlington is my store, Ross is his store. We was going into the Brotherton first, but they was building it, it wasn't even complete, and he was like, Oh, it's not gonna be finished until August. And I was like, Oh, so let's go to your store. So we end up going to Ross. For some reason, Ross and Burlington's always like close by. My husband said, I think they are owned by the same people. I said they probably are. But when we was in there, this lady, she was talking, I don't know what she was saying, but she was saying something, and my husband said something to her, and he was like, Oh, I know what it was. It was my hair. So I have this big old afro and it's curly, and it has like all these different colors and stuff from purple to red to um a gold, kind of like goldish color, and um brown and black. And she I have gotten so many compliments on this hairstyle, on this hairstyle, I can't even count anymore how many compliments I get on it. So she came up to me and she was like, I absolutely love your hair. And I was like, Thank you, you know. And she was a lady probably in her late 60s or something where up in there, and I can understand my hair has this hippie look like to it, you know. And I get a lot of compliments from white people, and I get a lot from black people too, more more on the men side and then I get it from the women too, but mainly from the men. Men really love this fro thing. And I had one guy tell me, he was like, it was an older white guy. He said to me, He said, Man, when I look at your hair, it reminds me of my ex-girlfriend back in the 60s, and I was like, Oh wow, that's what it is. So I'm I'm capturing a moment, and um y'all are seeing something. So anyway, so my husband was telling her, Don't let her get big headed, don't tell her that she's gonna get big-headed. And she was like, That's fine. She's a beautiful woman, so she should get big headed. She has it. And she was a white, like I said, um, white lady that was in her 60s, late 60s, I think. And um she asked me, she said, So sis, he said she's gonna get big-headed, how is he like? And I said, Oh, he is wonderful. She said, Oh my goodness. And she gave you a wonderful compliment, and you tell her that she's big-headed. And I say, He's just plants. That's my husband. He just does those things. He likes to joke around, and I love the I love that about him, you know. And she did so she started talking to us about some things, and and you know, she and I I I love and I welcome wisdom, you know, I do, because that's how I'm able to get and get more wisdom to give to you guys. And I know wisdom comes from God and everything, but it's just nice when someone gives us insight and wisdom and uh and everything, and that's what she started doing with us, and it was wonderful, and I and I loved every moment of it. I just have to say to you guys that I'm out here in California, and my husband is working too, so he's not on vacation. I came out here to support him with his his endeavors, so he's coaching the Nike Phenom basketball camp and it's um national camp here in Orange, Orange County. Yes, so he's he's gonna be doing this for two weeks or whatever. Well, not two weeks straight. They they do three days and then get three days off and then do another three days. So we do get some time with each other to be able to go to the beach. I went to the beach this morning though. I did. I dropped him off at the camp and I went straight to the beach because the camp is right next to the beach. So I'm like, I'm gonna go to the beach while you go do what you're doing, even though it was like six in the morning, six thirty in the morning. I was thinking that no one was gonna be on the beach. Tell me why I get over there, and that beach is crowded. At six in the morning, it is crowded. I'm like, these people don't play no games right here in California, they're serious about their beach life, and they were surfing and going on, and I just was like, dang, I love this atmosphere. I absolutely love California. I do. I don't care where you live at in California, I think it has a vibe to it that is so calming to me. It's

California Moments That Calm The Body

SPEAKER_01 7:26

calming to me. I love the mountains, the ocean, all that, even the quality of the food and stuff here, because there's so many places that you can go to that here in California that Texas don't have. And I definitely love it. Now, the people are okay. I'm not gonna say they're nice, not nice, they're just okay. I know yesterday we went to this restaurant by a hotel, and the restaurant had been there for over since 1948. That's exactly what it said on there, 1948. And I was like, let's go to this diner and get some breakfast and stuff. And my husband was like, Okay, cool. So we go up in there and it is absolutely like a time warp, like you going back into time. And I was like, this is gonna be good. That's what I told him, this is gonna be good. And he was like, Really? I said, because these type of restaurants be having some good food, man. And sure enough, the food was delicious. I ain't never seen no um what you call this, oh, this pecan pie. Normally, pecan pie is a little thin. This pecan pie was thick like a big old cake. I was like, that is a lot of pie. And even with all the other pies they had there, and that was right on display, and they was like, You want some pie? We well, everyone who comes here for the first time gets to get a big cookie. And I was like, Oh, sure. So they gave me and my husband a cookie, and I definitely still have half of that cookie left because I didn't eat it all. He still had half of his too, and I was surprised that he didn't eat it all because he can eat. And after we end up getting our meal for the breakfast, I ordered a French toast. That dang on French toast bread was thicker than Texas toast. I was like, okay, this is really good. And he got the Belgian waffle that took up the whole plate. I said, they they don't mind feeding you up in here, so it was so good, and I absolutely loved it, loved it, loved it, loved it. And yes, I will be going back because we're here for a good while, so I would definitely be going back, and I definitely have more to say to you guys. I know that resting is definitely on the agenda for me. I slept when I came back from the beach, I slept really good. I've really been up about roughly two hours now, so I want to get this done and then I can go ahead back over here. I'm gonna go and take some videos and pictures of my husband and his element doing his job because I love to watch him work. I really love watching him work. Y'all want to know the reason why I love watching my husband work? And yes, I ain't gonna lie, it is a turn-on. It is a turn, it's a major turn on for me. My second husband, I know I have mentioned this before to you guys in other podcasts, especially the narcissistic ones, the one I talked about, narcissistic. Okay, he did not want to work, he absolutely did not want to work, and that was a major turn off for me. Like, I couldn't take it and I and then had the audacity to want to have sex, and I'm thinking, like, you want to have sex and you want me to be into it. That was another thing, not only have sex, but be into it. I'm like, I cannot be into it when I'm actually feeling disgusted by you because you won't do the necessary things that a husband is supposed to do, a man is supposed to work. Even the Bible says a man who doesn't work doesn't eat. And that means that if you don't put in the time and effort to get what you need, you're not gonna accomplish it. And I was literally so terrified that I was gonna live the rest of my life like this, and I was thinking, like, I can't believe that I married this. And you might say, was he working before you got married? Yes, he was. He was working before we got married. And even while we was when we got married, when he moved from Omaha to Texas, he had already had a job that he had applied for in Texas, where we was living at, and got hired on there. And I was like, okay, this is gonna work, you know. But when he made it to Texas, he did not care for the job. So he made every excuse in the book to get me to agree with him quitting. And I was like, no, I don't think that's a good thing. I think you should find a this is how I work, and this is my motto. Never quit a job until you have another job. That's how I look at it. So if you don't like the job that you're at right now, find another job while you're still working a job because you still need money coming in. Don't let yourself go into a gap where you're not bringing in any income. Because it's hard to get a job when they want to know what you've been doing during your gap period. What have you been doing with yourself? Now, if you're in school, that makes sense. Okay, well, being in school is like having a job, or if you are let's say you just had a child and you want to be a stay-at-home parent mother, parent, or whatever, that makes sense too. Because you somebody gotta watch the baby, someone gotta nurture the baby. So, yeah, okay, that's what you've been doing on your gap period. But if you absolutely have no reason that you had a gap period just because you just didn't want to work, that's hard, that's wrong. And I was so upset behind that that I was getting turned off with him. So when I see my husband now, oh man, my husband, he be on it. I mean, on it. And I absolutely adore it. And let me tell you why. Another reason why I know he'd be on it. While we're at the Nike Cena registration, so he can get all his gear and everything, and his um his passes, his parking pass, as well as his food vouchers, because they feed you and everything. And we was getting all those things and even gave him some shoes and I mean Nike down. He got so much Nike stuff that they told him not to bring anything with him because he was gonna have so much stuff to take back home because they give you so much Nike stuff from shorts to to sweatpants to t-shirts to hoodies to sneakers, I mean, all kinds of Nike stuff, and they they wasn't lying. They they did, they gave them so much stuff. So we're gonna have to go and buy another bag to check in to put all the stuff in. And one of the ladies who knew him, and uh, he knew a lot of people, and they was all like, Hey, what's up, Coach Claire? What's up, Coach Claire? All that stuff. And and he was like, Um, hey, you know, doing his thing. And the lady she said, you know, I just got hired on um some school or whatever she was trying to tell him about. And she said, and I'm looking to build the the um the team for the basketball people. I want to talk to you about a proposition later, and I already knew I said it's another job offer. Boy, they don't be playing. When he gets so many job offers to want them to come and and be with them on these teams, and because he's a player development coach, what he does, he does player development, help them to develop their skills and stuff. And I was like, Oh man, you already getting offers, and you just walk through the door. Oh my goodness. But yes, I will be going out there later. So I didn't take 13 minutes of your time up by talking about my little situation here in California and everything, but I'm gonna go ahead and get into it. I want to give you a strong person quote of the week. So this is written by me. I want to give to you. I want you to take this information down and just think about it, okay? Rest is not something you earn it's not something you earn after you've exhausted yourself. Rest is something you deserve because you are human. The strongest people don't become stronger because they're caring more. They become stronger

Rest Is A Requirement

SPEAKER_01 16:43

by knowing when to lay and rest. Okay? You gotta lay it down, lay down the weights, all right. I want you to know that. So if this quote touched your heart, then I believe today's episode is created especially for you. Welcome. Welcome to improving your thoughts by freeing yourself. I'm your host, Alayla Carroll. This is season eleven, episode three, part one. The weight of being strong is what strong people need, but rarely say. Okay. Strong people need rest too. That's what we need to be saying. Rest is not a reward, it's a requirement. A season in this season, this season is dedicated to every caregiver, every parent, every entrepreneur, pastor, nurses, doctors. Even doctors need to rest, especially if you're gonna be doing some surgery. Teachers, coaches, first responders, flight attendants, every leader and every person who has become the strong one. In episode one, we asked a different question. Who checks on the strong person? In episode two, we discovered that you deserve to be known, not just needed. Today, we're talking about something that many strong people struggle to give to themselves, which is rest. Yes, we struggle with that. So we need rest, not because we don't want it. Okay? We need it because we do so much. But because somewhere along the way we were told that we need to stay strong and that is not a good thing. The way we start b believing that resting meant falling behind is a hard pill to s it's a hard pill to swallow, you guys. We we feel like if we slow down it that it it means that people i are gonna see something about us that is not true, or i that if we slow down that we're letting other people down. Um, that's a situation that needs to be dealt with very quickly. We also found out that taking care of ourselves was somehow selfish because someone said it. Oh, you being selfish right now. No, I'm not being selfish. I need to take care of myself. It's I've been oh my goodness, I have been saying this in the past three weeks. I said it so many times that I started telling myself, why is I'm begging for time to rest. I was thinking that because I was talking to my aunt about this, and then I was talking about it because with my mom and her and her relo relocation and everything, and I'm like, she always come up with something for me to do, and I'm tired, and I was like, I need to rest, and I don't need nothing interfering with my rest time. And I was like, I'm absolutely not gonna do certain things, it's just gonna be this, this, and that, and when I'm done, I'm done. I'm gonna rest. Nobody's gonna bother me to go and do extra stuff, and this was around the time of my family reunion. I remember telling my dad I wasn't gonna go to the family reunion because I was so tired. And I ended up making it to the family reunion because I literally got some sleep. I finally woke up in a good mood, and I felt really good that day. My energy was up, and then I was ready to go to the family reunion. So that's how I ended up making it to the family reunion because I I got sleep.

Guilt And The Fear Of Letting People Down

SPEAKER_01 21:20

My dad was telling me, I understand if you don't make it, but everybody everyone was expecting to see you. I said, ah, that's a problem. Everyone keeps expecting for me. What's that about? And when I showed up at the front reunion, one of my cousins, she was like, There she go. You know what she's good at? Um, I was like, dang, it's like that, what I'm good at. Yeah, you take the films, you do the videos, and all that. I'm like, oh man, being videographer, yay, you know. Oh Lord, you know. And I I left early. I did not stay. I did not stay, and I had it in my mind. I said, I would not stay the whole time. I'm gonna give you a three hours and I'm out of here. And that's exactly what I did. But on my way to leave, when I got in the car, my cousin stopped me and she was like, Hey, we're gonna do the psych race and we need you to take videos of it. And like, I mean, like that. And I was thinking, like, okay, I could say no, but then these are babies, and I'm like, this is their pride moment. I'm gonna go ahead and do the videos. And you probably say they didn't have anyone else to take pictures. Yeah, they did. They had someone else take pictures, they really did. But I've learned something about picture taking. Because I used to be a model, I realized that angles matter. The way you take a picture in a video, it really does matter. Just taking a picture is not it don't tell you much, it don't give you much. But if you got that angle, that right lighting, oh, it changes everything. And that's what I was like thinking to myself, like, okay, let me give them this moment, you know. But at the same time, we gotta know that we don't need to feel like we're being selfish when we are taking time for ourselves. So if you've ever felt guilty for taking a day off, if you ever apologize for needing a break, if you've ever kept going when your body, your mind, and your spirit was begging for you to stop, this episode is for you. Yes. Let's talk about when did we start feeling guilty for resting? When when did we f start feeling guilty for resting? When did it happen for you? Think back. Just give yourself some thoughts and just think. When did it happen for you? I don't really know when it happened for me. You know what? As I really think about it, I think, oh, you know what, I did it to myself. Now that I think about it, I really did it to myself. I remember when I was losing well, I don't say I was losing weight. So b back when I was working at Hewlett Packard computers and my Yeah, I had a boyfriend at the time and we was living together. I remember I made a bet with him that I can lose some weight because I started gaining some weight. I wasn't overweight, but I was not as small as I used to be. I used to be like 137 pounds, and I think I had jumped up to like a hundred and fifty or something like that. And I was thinking like, okay, I gotta lose some weight. But 130 is small, but think about it, I was in my 20s, so that's a good size. And I remember giving him a bet because he told me I couldn't do it. He's like, You're not gonna be able to do it. And I'm like, No, you're not gonna tell me what I can't do. I know what I can do and I know what I'm capable of, especially with me being an athlete when I was growing up, and keep in mind in my 20s, so I'm not far from that era of my life. And I remember telling him, Cool, it's a bet. And he was like, But the thing is, I betted him too. I said, You need to lose some weight too. Look at that stomach if I'm gonna pop out. And he was like, Okay, cool. So what did we bet? I betted some some go-go boots. Well, you know, the boots that come until your knees. I wanted some black ones. And I say, That's what you're gonna get me. And then he was like, So what about what you're gonna get me? I forgot what he wanted, but because it either way it goes, I didn't end up buying it for him because he lost the bet, so he had to give me the boots. And I remember even after the bet was over with, I kept going. And it was times when I say, you know, just because the bet is over with don't mean that we have to stop working out. All it means is that we know that we're capable of getting it done. I know for sure that I'm capable of getting it done, but what about you? I think you do need to continue so you can lose the stomach. Because he was being lazy a lot of the times, and I would still work out on days when he wouldn't work out because we started off working out together. And days when he was like, I don't feel like working out. I said, Well, I'm I'm gonna go ahead and get mine then before I go to sleep, because we're working overnight, the graveyard shift, and he was like, forget that, I'm gonna go to bed. All right, that's why the stomach was coming, because we would eat at night and then go straight to sleep when we get home, and I'm like, this is not gonna work. So basically, I continued to get my workout in and my sort of toning up my body, and I was looking fabulous, you know, and feeling good about myself. I remember after we broke up and he moved out, and all the times that I will come home from work, I will still work out, and I I wrote out on a piece of paper my workout schedule, and I would put it on the wall. And I was like, I work out three days a week, and these are the workouts that I'm gonna do on this day, this day, this day, and I'm gonna do it for three months, and after that, I'm gonna switch it up, and I'm gonna do another um type of workout for three months, and I'm gonna switch it up, and I'm gonna keep doing it. So every three months I'm gonna switch my workout up, and I really followed that schedule for about a good five years. I was doing it, and I remember one day when I did not do the workout, and I felt to myself that I was letting myself down, and it was because I was so tired and I needed to rest. And that day I woke up and I remember saying to myself, Ah, I missed my workout, I shouldn't have done that. But I was actually doing it to myself because I got into the habit of if I say I'm gonna do something, then I'm going to do it no matter how I feel. And when I didn't do that for that moment, it made me feel like I was letting myself down. When in reality, I wasn't letting myself down. I really needed to rest. And

When Hustle Becomes Your Identity

SPEAKER_01 28:00

my body was screaming, my mind was screaming, my spirit was saying, stop. You've been doing this for a while, you've been at this for a while, it's okay to rest, you know. So I knew at this time in my life where I'm at right now, where where I was back then, that I was gonna get to a place where I was gonna have to learn to balance. And as time went on, I started learning to balance. And I'm like, if today is one of them days that I just don't have the energy to do it, then I'm just not gonna feel bad about it. I'm just not gonna do it. But as long as I don't completely stop, as long as I don't completely just give up on it, then we're good. That's how I had to rewire my mind. And now, hey, I don't go to the gym every three days anymore. I I was working out at home, by the way, during that time. I didn't really go to the gym. I recently started going to the gym now in the past year. I reason September of this year would be a year that I had a gym membership and that I actually been going to the gym and stuff. But I don't go every three days. I don't go three days a week. I just don't. I go when I get home and I know I have the energy to do it. There's no need for me pushing myself so hard to where I just so did I pass out. It's not cool. So I wanna ask you something. Who taught you that being busy is the same as being valuable? Who taught you that? Because I've learned over the time that people say things and we have all these cliches and these quotes that we we throw out there and some people live by these cliches and these quotes. But we tell ourselves that it's okay to be a certain way when it's unhealthy for us though. So who told you that? I want you to think about it.

SPEAKER_00 30:06

I want you to think about when someone asks you how are you doing?

SPEAKER_01 30:15

Yeah, these are questions that need to be asked of you sometimes. And I want you to also think about how often do we answer these those questions as I've been busy, I've been so busy, oh my goodness. I've said it recently. I said it recently, someone asked me, How you doing? I said, Man, I've been busy. What you been up to? Man, I've been busy. And that's mainly because I don't want to go into details about everything that I want to do that I've been doing. It's a little too much. But are we really so busy though? Yeah, somehow being busy has become a badge of honor. We wear exhaustion like it's an accomplishment. We celebrate long hours. I don't celebrate long hours. I'm gonna tell you right now, I hate it when when I look at my work schedule at my job, and I'm like, oh no. I don't even matter in fact, I don't even want to look at the work schedule no more. Whenever I look at my schedule, I have to look and see where I'm going. I gotta know how long the flight is and all that. That way I know what I'm supposed to be doing on that flight. But I don't look at the whole day, like the duty day. And there's a lot of flightists in that do that. They look at the duty day and they're like, oh, we got 14 hours today. I'm like, please don't say that out loud. I can look at my schedule and see how long we have today. I don't want to hear it because it dust into my brain where I'm like, all of a sudden I get exhausted, even though I had a lot of energy before you said it. So I am the type of person that take things moment by moment by moment. I've been doing that since I've been working the graveyard shift at Hewlett Packer back in 2005 when I first started there. And from 2005 to 2015, that's how long I worked at that job. And I literally would tell myself, I am not going to look at how long I'm gonna be here tonight. I'm just gonna break it down. And I broke it down as then when the first break came. That's two hours later. Okay, when is our lunch? That's two hours after the first break. Okay, when is our um next, okay, that's you know, and I will break it down because we had three breaks. We're working 12 hour shifts. So I'm not gonna sit there and think about man, I'm gonna be here for 12 hours and lose my dang on mine, because I can't stand being in one spot for that dang along. So I was um I was telling people, don't do that. You know, when I'm with you, we're here and we're working, let's just get through the flight. And then what's next? We're gonna do next. That helps you to to manage your day because if you really break down your day, break it down in a day, we got 24 hours. You use part of that time sleeping, then you use part of that time getting up, getting ready to do whatever you're gonna do for the day, then you use part of that time for working, then you use part of that time. Oh, don't forget you gotta drive to your work if you are not a remote worker, and then you use part of that time driving back home, you use part of that time to eat, you got time to do all these little things in a day, right? Well, instead of thinking about the whole day as one whole entity, break it down by the next thing that needs to get done, or the next thing that's going to be taking place, because when you do it that way, your brain ain't exhausting itself. It's like the day went by so fast. That's when you get that man today went by quick because you weren't thinking about the whole day, even though it's the same time, the same hours, the same pace, and nothing changed, it's just your mindset changed, and that's what helped you to break down your time. Now, we need to stop thinking that celebrating long hours is an accomplishment because it's not. Basically, we gotta start celebrating what have we been able to achieve for the day, and now we need to rest. We admire people who never stop. That's not a good thing. I hear people say, I'm I rest when I'm dead. Well, baby, you're gonna be dead before you're supposed to, and you're gonna be resting for real. We applaud the hustle. I'm a hustler, you know that kind of stuff. Okay, there's nothing wrong with hustling, but what's wrong with it is when you don't know how to stop and get a break in. But we rarely celebrate the people who knows how to rest well. Somewhere along the way, we confuse being productive as being worthy, and that's a dangerous place to live because if your worthy depends on your productivity, you'll never feel like you're doing

Break The Day Down To Breathe

SPEAKER_01 35:20

enough. There's there will always be more to do. There'll always be more emails to read. Trust me, it is because I gotta go through my emails right now and delete a bunch of things because my inbox keys is full, it's full, it's full. I'm tired of it. I don't even read those emails. I hate reading emails when I have to to read them at work. They give us so much and they always send in something that you get the email. You some of these emails they give us that we have to click a link just to show that we opened it. And I'm like, oh, here's another one. I just finished that. Here's another one. I just did that one, here's another one. There'll always be more tests to take. I just took a test this morning that they kept emailing me about I'm on vacation, but you emailing me about a test, a training thing. It's like it has a deadline. By the time I go back to work, that I wouldn't have passed my deadline. So now I gotta listen to y'all talk about why didn't you not meet your deadline? I'm like, hey, I was on vacation. A vacation is a vacation, right? Then why do I have to do work while I'm on vacation? So um, I'm gonna tell you to their defense. They gave it to me before I went on vacation. It was my fault that I didn't do it before I went on vacation. So they actually would have been in the right. I would have been the one in the room because I could have gotten that done before I went on my vacation. I was just so excited I was going on vacation that I didn't even care. But I did it though. I finished it this morning, so I'm way past the deadline. I got two weeks, and I don't want to be dealing with that in my mind on my vacation. So that's why I went on and did the training session that they gave us for the flight and the thing. But they give us those things. So it will always be one more. It's always one more meeting, one more client, one more laundry load to do, one more person who needs something from us, one more reason to postpone your own well-being. It's always something. And we need to understand that rest is a biblical thing. We gotten away from that. We have gotten away from what we really are supposed to be doing. Let's talk about what God did. See, God did not need to rest, but he modeled what our lives are supposed to be like. In the very beginning, after creating the heavens and the earth, God rested. Not because he was tired, because he don't get tired, God doesn't grow weary and none like that, you know. No, he rested because he was establishing a rhythm for us, a rhythm of work, a rhythm of restoration. If the creator of the universe, yes, of the universe, for some of y'all who like to give praises to the universe, the creator who made that universe that you're praising needs to be praised, not the universe. Universe don't do anything, it just does exactly what God created it to do. I don't know why I went there, but it does bother me when people say the universe told me no, the universe didn't tell you nothing. That's your mind telling you that. Anyways, if the creator of the universe model rest, why do we

Biblical Rest And A Better Rhythm

SPEAKER_01 38:53

think we're too important to do the same? Jesus, Yeshua, modeled uh rest as well. Yeah, he did. Throughout the gospels, we see him stepping away from the crowd. He withdrew for prayer, because that's what he went to go do. He sought out quiet places, he rested before continuing his his ministry. Yeah, he would go and rest. Even when he was on the boat when that storm was going on, he was in asleep. He sure was. Those his disciples came in talking about the you not know what's going on, and all he did was get up and went out there on doubt on the deck and said, Peace be still, and the calm it calmed everything down. I mean, come on, you know. Even when people waited for him, even with miracles still being performed, Jesus understood something more that was way more important and it was to rest. He understood what we have forgotten to do. So you cannot continue pouring out if you never allow yourself to be filled back up. Because burnout is not a badge of honor. It's not. We can't stop and we can't keep going at the same time. You only can do one other other pick one. So can we please stop glorifying burnouts? Burnouts doesn't prove you're strong. It proves you've been caring too much for too long without replenishing yourself. That's exactly what it proves. So when someone say, I am burnt out, I'm burnt out, I'm burnt out, that's because you have not been replenishing yourself. You know, I was watching a episode of Scrubs. I have never watched that show. But when I was on the plane coming from Houston to Vegas and then from Vegas to to LA, I was watching Scrubs on the plane, and I started with the last season and I can't think of the guy's name, but um the black doctor or whatever. His friend came back from I don't know what he was doing, I think he was writing or something, because he hadn't been practicing medicine or whatever, but he came back to the hospital because he had a patient and he noticed that his he noticed that he was not the same. He the the white guy noticed that the black friend was not the same. And he was doing the old thing that he used to do, or we used to make his friend happy and and and excited, but it wasn't working. And he said, Dude, what is wrong with you? You you're not the same, you change. He said, What is going on with you? And he told him, the guy, the black guy, he turned around, he said, I'm burnt out. I am burnt out. I'm tired of this. I don't know if I can keep doing this job. I don't know if this is something that I want to keep doing. It th I thought about this while I'm doing the podcast today because I've already thought about this. And I said, you know, people do get burnt out because I work with quite a few flight attendants who are burnt out. I work with quite a few pilots who are burnt out. It's dangerous for a pilot to be burnt out because of the fact that they're flying the plane and they got everyone's lives in their hands. That's why we have so many hours that we can actually work in a day, whether we own the plane or not. If we're on duty, our brain is still telling us that we're working. So we can't work over a certain amount of hours in a day. And I work with some flight attendants, I can tell they're burnt out. I see it all over them that they're burnt out. And most of them are people who have been a flight attendant, been working for the company for over 15 years, and they don't have the same attitude like the younger ones who just started. I'm not talking about young in age, I'm talking about young in time been served as a flight attendant. They don't have that type of energy. So you could I can you can always tell a newbie. A newbie is excited, they bright-eyed, they they they can't wait to to work. But the ones who've been there forever, they can't stand the job, they want to leave, they they mean to people, they don't have that jazz about them no more, and it and every person can feel the energy coming from them that is not good. And I say we get vacation time. So I've been here 10 years, I get four weeks of vacation in a year. Uh, I take my vacation. I don't care. Matter of fact, I say vacation every single month. I take a week off every single month. I do every month, I gotta at least have a week. Sometimes I do two weeks, but I don't get paid for the time that I'm not actually using vacation time. But I don't care about having to get paid during that time. I just make sure I get my hours in so that way n I don't feel like I'm missing out or I'm not working enough to make the money that I need to make to do what I gotta do. But I definitely knew when I was getting burnt out. I remember I remember the feeling of like I can't, I don't really want to go to I don't want to go to work. I don't wanna be here. And I'm like, I can't wait to get off this plane. And I wasn't being nice, and I knew I wasn't being nice. Not because I was being mean to people, it was inside of me I wasn't feeling like being nice. And I even when some of the passengers was looking me in my face and they was like, You're a pretty girl, you should smile, and I'm thinking like it's time to get off this plane. But I started getting this little this and I still got it, mind of fact, this little girl, passenger, she gave me a rock. She painted it, and she was doing it on the plane. I saw her when she was painting, but I had no idea she was making it for me. I was watching her as I would go by and pick up trash and do my service and everything, and I was like, Oh, she's painting the rock, that's pretty cool. And she painted this rock red, green, and pink, and then she wrote on there in black letters, make today great. And as I was getting off the plane, well, she was getting off the plane, I was working first class, so as she was getting off the plane, she said, This is for you. I oh my goodness, it made me feel so good that I was like, I know what I need to do, I need to take some breaks, I need to take time off. I cannot work all these hours, I have to take time off. This is before I had my business and everything. This is before imaging coaching, before um a layla carol style, and I just knew it it was even before the podcast. I said, I got to do what I gotta, I gotta find something else that I can be happy with, but make money with, and at the same time not over exhaust myself and get out of. Just working a job, working, working, working. So that wasn't the only thing. Then I got another person, and I still have my little turtle. I had another guy, and this was probably like a week later. He came on the plane coming from Mexico. And when we got to Houston, landed in Houston, he said, This is for you. It is a little turtle. Oh, it was so cute. And I was like, Oh my goodness, thank you. And I I got I call him Ted the Turtle. He's in my car riding with me. And I let him stay with me every day. And I am so serious about my little Ted the Turtle. I remember going to get my car washed, and I had Ted the Turtle in my little um in his little spot where he's supposed to be. And when I got in that car after it was after they finished washing detailing my car, Ted the Turtle wasn't there. I was like, my son was with me, and I said, Son, did you see um Ted the Turtle? And he's like, No, Mom. I said, Oh no, we turn it back around. I'm gonna go back and get my Ted the Turtle. And I turned back around, I say, Look, I had Ted the Turtle in here, and they look like Ted the Turtle. I said, Yeah, it's a little turtle that I have sitting up here on my car, and he's not there. Where is it? Oh, um, I think we put it over here, and they they had my little Ted the Turtle. I said, Oh, y'all got to go, y'all don't know what y'all doing. Don't take no one's stuff out of their car. If you're gonna take it out, put it back. So I haven't gone back to that place since, and and no, I have not gone back to that place to get my car washed since. So it is what it is. And but what it did to me, it let me see that people see me. It also let me see that people do care and people have a heart. And what I do is a big deal. It's not like it's just oh, I'm just letting y'all get to y'all going to one flight to another, and one city to another, one state to another, one country to another. No, I'm literally there for for you guys to help you guys. If anything go wrong, I'm your first responder. And being burnt out is not a good thing. So I started taking days off. I really did. I had to take days off. So once again, can we stop glorifying burnouts? Burnout doesn't prove that you're strong. It proves that you have been caring too much for too long without replenishing yourself. Burnouts affect the body, it it affects your emotions, it affects your relationships, it affects your decision making, it affects your faith, 'cause then you start doubting. And sometimes what we call losing patience is actually exhaustion. You know, like I'm losing my patience. You know, you're exhausted. You need to go get some you need to get some sleep. You need to get some rest. You need to chill, you need to find something else to do to relax your mind. And sometimes what we call lack of motivation is actually burnout. Sometimes what we call being overwhelmed is the result of ignoring the warning signs for so long. Your body whispers before it screams. It started off with a little small whisper, then it starts growing into a loud scream. That's what's going on with you. The question is, are you listening? God never asks you to run on empty. Imagine trying to drive a car across the country without ever stopping for gas. Eventually the car isn't going to go anywhere. It's gonna stop on ya. It's not because it's

Burnout Costs More Than You Think

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broken, because it's not broken, it just it wasn't refueled. It needs some more fuel. And now think about yourself. How long have you been running on empty?

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Emotionally, mentally, spiritually, physically, also sexually. Because sex does help with your exhaustion.

SPEAKER_01 50:37

It it releases dopamine that helps you to relax. Maybe you're still functioning. Maybe you are. You might say, I'm good. You're still smiling, you're still showing up, but inside you're exhausted. Friends, surviving, thriving, all that. All what you're thinking, but your body is saying something different. Let me tell you something. Surviving is not the same as thriving. It's not. It's just not. God doesn't create He didn't create you just uh to make it through another day. He created you to live with purpose, joy, peace, and hope. And that requires rest. You have to get some rest. So I have a reflection question. I have some. I keep saying have uh, but I have some. I always have more than one. Before we continue, I want to quickly I want you to think about these questions just quietly in your mind, think about them and answer them at your own leisure, but think about them, okay. When was the last time you truly rested without feeling guilty? Because when you rest and you feel guilty about it, you're not resting, your brain is still going. You got to be able to shut down those thoughts, all right. What do you believe would happen if you slowed down for one day? Just one day you took for yourself. So I know I'm here and I am on vacation and everything. I already chose a day that I'm going to go to the beach just me by myself because my husband's gonna be working, and I'm gonna I already came prepared too. I have my little um it's not a towel or something like that, but it's like this little mat that the um soft mat that you lay down on the it's for the sand, and it's waterproof. I'm going to lay down, I'm gonna stretch that out. I'm gonna have my drinks, my little drink, drinky, drink, whatever it is, and I'm not gonna drink no liquor, nothing like that, and talking about like some fruity

Reflection Questions And A Solo Rest Plan

SPEAKER_01 53:03

drinks or whatever, and I'm going to have some food and I'm going to take some pictures and videos of myself, and I'm just gonna have a nice time on the beach with just myself. That is gonna be my moments that I'm gonna give to myself. I'm gonna do that on Sunday because Sunday is the last day of the camp for this week, and I know my husband's gonna want to go to the beach on the other days and stuff, and we're gonna go out there and relax on it. But I'm giving him the time too, so that's why I want to do my time for myself. I suggest you guys to find that one moment just for yourself, nobody else involved, just you, and enjoy yourself, relax and just feel great about your time being with you. No matter what it is you choose to do, find something just for you. You might want to go to the movies and see a movie by yourself, you might want to go and sit down at the table and eat dinner by yourself, eat a lunch by yourself, or you might want to just read a book, find a good book that you've been wanting to read and close yourself in a room and turn off your phone and just enjoy that. Whatever it is that's gonna float your boat, make it work for you, okay. Also, have you ever taken care of anyone else while neglecting yourself? That's a yes. I can answer that for you right now. That's a yes. Strong people always take care of everyone else, and we always neglecting ourselves when we're taking care of someone, it just happens that way. Okay, so what has your body been telling you that you've been ignoring? Now I don't know what that is, but you do. What have your body been telling you? So my body was telling me about my knees. My knees was hurting. I don't know what was going on with my knee. One day I was driving, this was like about a week and a half ago. I was driving, and I was on my way to San Antonio, and oh my god, the the side of my knee on my right, no, my left knee. My left knee is on my left side. If I could not bulged out of it, I'd never had this happen to me a day in my life. I didn't know what it was, and it and it was thriving with pain, and as I touched it, it was so tender and it was hurting. So I got up out of the oh, I stopped somewhere and I got up out of the car, and I couldn't even stand up on it. I couldn't stand. And I was thinking, is that because I'm sitting too much? But I don't sit a lot. I walk around a lot. Is it because I'm working out too much? I'm like, I don't know what that is. So I remember here thinking, like, what is this about? So I was like, well, maybe I need to put some ice on it, maybe I need to put a wrap on it, put something on it. I don't know. But um, it lasted for two days. It went away, but I don't know what that's about. One thing I know for sure, your body do talk to you in some kind of way. I haven't done anything hard or anything. I didn't I don't know what that was about. And I still think about it because your body tells you things that you really gotta pay attention to. So rest, relax. And I did. What I did when I got home, I elevated my feet and I laid in the bed, and that's when it went away. So I needed to rest. And perhaps the most important question that I want to ask you is do you believe you have earned, do you believe that you have to earn the right rest, the right time to rest, the right to rest? Do you believe you have to earn that? Because you shouldn't have to earn the right to get some rest. No one should have to earn that. That is what you do. When you have been going and going and going, you must chill and relax. So I want you to sit with those questions. They may reveal more than you expect. That's why I want you to sit with them. Don't just answer it and then be gone with it. Sit with it, relax and think about it, and then let it just let your mind just take over to where it starts thinking about all the time that you've just been going without resting. And what would rest look like to you? How would it feel to you? What you think that you can enjoy the most about resting? Like I can't not wait till Sunday because I know that's gonna be beautiful. Why I went to the beach today, like I told you. I didn't really stay long. It was crowded. I was surprised it wasn't be that early that crowded. So what I got out of my mind was I'm gonna find a spot where I can just put my um thing down and and just I don't wanna be in people's way. Like I want everybody in my way. I want to be somewhere not by myself, but I want to be in a spot where I'm not in the heart of it, but I'm also present as well. So I can be seen and I can see people. But yes. So closing, I want to close this out, but I want to tell talk about part two, what we're gonna be doing in the upcoming uh episodes and parts of the episode of part three. So when we come back, we're going to talk about why so many strong people feel guilty for resting. That's why I wanted you. That last question was so important because we're gonna talk about it. That's why I want you to answer that question to yourself. Do you believe you have to earn the right to rest? Because I want to talk about that. Why so many strong people feel guilty about resting, where that guilt comes from? We're gonna talk about that too, and how to break free from that belief that your value depends on how much you accomplish. That's not true. So we're gonna talk about that as well, okay? That's part two. We're gonna also explore how to recognize the early signs of burnout before they become emotional, physical, and spiritual breakdowns before you start breaking down. So stay with me. I don't want you to leave so soon in the season. Stay connected

Part Two Preview And Farewell

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to season 11. I believe God has something He wants to restore in you, and I think season 7 is I mean, season 11 is the season for your breakthrough. So stick around, alright? Thank you. I'm signing out, Alayla.