Notes on Resilience
Conversations about trauma, resilience, and compassion.
How do we genuinely support individuals who have experienced trauma and build inclusive and safe environments? Trauma significantly affects the mental and physical health of those who experience it, and personal resiliency is only part of the solution. The rest lies in addressing organizational, systemic, and social determinants of health and wellness, and making the effort to genuinely understand the impact of trauma.
Here, we ask and answer the tough questions about how wellness is framed in an organizational context, what supports are available and why, what the barriers are to supporting trauma survivors, and what best practices contribute to mental wellness. These conversations provide a framework to identify areas for change and actionable steps to reshape organizations to be truly trauma sensitive.
Notes on Resilience
128: Stories as Lifeblood: Unlocking Human Connection with James Warren
"We have more information than ever and less knowledge. We talk at each other more than ever and we're less connected."
James Warren, founder and CEO of Share More Stories, takes us on a journey through the transformative power of stories as the lifeblood of the human experience. He reveals how storytelling creates three essential benefits for organizations: enhanced self-awareness for leaders, strengthened empathy through neurological connection, and accelerated collective learning. Our brains are literally wired for narrative, activating empathic responses that bridge differences and create shared understanding.
He describes the ecosystem involving the teller, the listener, and the story that requires psychological safety to flourish. When we share vulnerably, a transformative alchemy occurs—a rising tide of empathy where both parties want to be heard and develop enhanced capacity to hear others. This directly addresses what Maya Angelou called "the agony of bearing an untold story inside you."
As workplaces increasingly function as communities, Warren challenges leaders to reconsider the fundamental value proposition of work itself. Organizations demanding more while offering less security and community face unsustainable imbalances. The path forward requires leaders who understand that profitability and human-centered approaches aren't contradictory but complementary strategies for lasting success.
Ready to transform your organization through the power of story? Listen now to discover how compassionate leadership creates workplaces where people genuinely belong. Then share your thoughts—what story are you waiting to tell?
James Warren is the Founder and CEO of Share More Stories, a human experience insights company that built the SEEQ Platform to uncover emotional drivers behind employee and customer experiences. He is a researcher, strategist, writer and facilitator who blends storytelling, AI, and insights to help organizations better understand themselves, their customers, and their communities.
You can learn more about Share More Stories on their website, connect with James on LinkedIn, or email him at: james@sharemorestories.com
Go to https://betterhelp.com/resilience or click Notes on Resilience during sign up for 10% off your first month of therapy with my sponsor BetterHelp.
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Producer / Editor: Neel Panji
Invite Manya to inspire and empower your teams and position your organization as a forward-thinking leader in well-being, resilience, and trauma sensitivity.
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#trauma #resilience #compassion #MentalHealth #CompassionateLeadership #leadership #survivor
People are starved for real connection. We have more information than ever and less knowledge. We talk at each other more than ever and we're less connected, and so I think that people are starting to more overtly seek real human connection in lots of places. Real community, as you say, micro-community, macro-community and to me all of that is leading to people really want to belong.
Manya Chylinski:Hello and welcome to Notes on Resilience. My guest today is James Warren. He's the founder and CEO of Share More Stories, a human experience insights company. He's a strategist, a researcher, a writer and he facilitates storytelling, and we talked about that and compassion and empathy and the role of trust in organizational settings. I think you're really going to enjoy this conversation, james. I'm so excited to have you here today. Thank you for being here.
James Warren:My pleasure. Thanks for having me on. I'm really excited to have this conversation with you.
Manya Chylinski:All right. The first question is what's one thing you've done in any area of your life that you never thought you would do?
James Warren:Oh my goodness, I would say probably one of the things I never thought I would do is I never thought and this is even going back a little bit I never thought I would give a sermon from a pulpit.
James Warren:I did when I was little, when I was a kid growing up, my mom was a pastor in a church and every now and then I would do sort of a little kid's version of a sermon. But I really didn't want that to be my life Like I left that behind in a major way and I found myself back in a pulpit kind of a little bit of a sad situation was during one of my family members' funerals and I remember saying like well, mom, I guess you got your wish. I'm here in this pulpit again and it's funny because that whole thing for me is a big part of my spiritual path and what I'm keeping and what I'm not keeping from my religious upbringing and it's complicated, to say the least, but it's also something that nowadays I'm becoming more and more curious to explore again is that aspect of my life and that part of my past.
Manya Chylinski:Right, oh, thank you for sharing that. And that you're standing at the pulpit and preaching is I mean, you're a storyteller, so it's so much a part of who you are.
James Warren:And, believe me, I have tried. I know that my quote, unquote calling is not to be a minister, but many people in that part of my life and in my family and in my mother's congregations have tried very, very hard to get me back there and I'm like it's not for me and not because I disrespect it or don't value it. I just know the kind of work I want to do and the way I want to engage people. I just don't want to work through the religious frame but I do find myself. Sometimes, all too often, people, if I'm saying something that I guess is meaningful to them, they will say have you ever thought about? They'll ask me if I've ever thought about being a preacher or running for office. And I'm like you could not ask me two things that I want to do less than those two, but I don't know what it is.
Manya Chylinski:I have also gotten that myself Not the preacher, but running for office and I can't think of anything. I want to do less. It's hard work. I appreciate the work that the people who have office do. It is just not something I am cut out for. Well, speaking of storytelling and people appreciating your storytelling, that's a little bit what we're going to get into today, and we're going to talk about how that intersects with the concept of compassion and leadership in organizations. So to get us started, what are the steps you think an organization needs to be thinking about in order to be truly compassionate?
James Warren:I think for an organization to be really compassionate, it starts with leadership in that organization being really reflective and really honest about their level of compassion.
James Warren:to begin with, Like is the organization deciding we need to be more empathetic, or is that sort of been part of the culture, but maybe it's fraying at the edges, so a little bit of like what's prompting it?
James Warren:You know, and I think more often than not, either companies have lost their way in this space or there's a leader who believes I think we can deliver a better experience for our organization, for our customers and our community. And I think that compassion, that empathy, is such a big part of it, and, on one hand, it's not that it does or doesn't come naturally. It's that wherever you are on that spectrum, you need to work at it, you need to cultivate it, and so I think for leaders, that means they've got to put themselves in a position of both vulnerable and sharing their own stories to make other people feel safe to do so, and they also need to make spaces for their teams to share stories with each other and with them, whether that's through employee engagement work or just creating spaces and forums and conversations where more organic storytelling and story sharing occurs. I think that the leader has to make a commitment and then demonstrate that in order to create more space in the culture for that to happen more consistently and more intentionally.
Manya Chylinski:I love that word. Intentionally, I think, as you say, whether it's a core value and it's fraying, or it's a core value and somehow has never been communicated, or a company realizes oh, we've never really explicitly said this, let's say it. It's all about being intentional. Now, you mentioned no surprise leaders telling their stories and allowing other people to tell their stories. Why are stories so important and why are they so powerful in a context like this?
James Warren:I think they're powerful for a few reasons. One you know I always go back to this very basic and fundamental truth that stories are really the not currency, but they are the lifeblood of the human experience. They carry us through, they teach us, they remind us, they help us avoid danger, they help us go towards safety and they ladder us up. You know, we go from navigating the basics of life, of food, clothing and shelter, all the way up to feeling like we're part of something much bigger than ourselves, and everywhere in that spectrum of needs stories are present. And so I think they are the companions, if you will, of the lived human experience. They help us make sense of it, and I think for a leader, a leader that embraces stories is typically opening themselves up to at least two or three benefits. One is they are going to really become a stronger leader themselves, because they'll become more self-aware, they will become more empathetic through the connection that stories offer, and that's because our brains are wired for story. When we share stories with each other, that empathy we talked about gets activated.
James Warren:And then the third area is stories are great for learning. They just help us make sense of not just our own experiences but maybe the collective, and that's the insight, the wisdom that comes from a story, and that is not just for organizations. We do that in our families, right, we do that as children. When we tell, when we hear these quote unquote bedtime stories or nursery rhymes or tales, there's a phrase the moral of the story and the moral is the lesson. And so I think that stories matter for that self-growth, that self-reflection, they matter for really connecting people, especially across differences, and they also matter for learning and insight across differences. And they also matter for learning and insight.
Manya Chylinski:When we're sharing stories, especially personal stories, there's an element of vulnerability and there's an element of trust. Can someone get a value?
James Warren:from stories if they don't feel safe to share their own story? Wow, that's a beautiful question and I think that I think I would say cautiously yes, they can get some value. I think our relationship, as I learned there's the storytelling process, has three components there's the teller, the listener and the story itself, and so at our best, all three of those are really, really activated. But there's times when maybe I'm not feeling safe and vulnerable and I need somebody to share their story, to bring me in and that opens me up to be more vulnerable and more courageous. And there's times when I may be not thinking that anybody can relate to my experience and therefore I'm not feeling connected, but I share. And then somebody is like I totally can relate to that and now I feel connected. And so I think there's times when my empathy is very activated and I'm in really, really good listening mode and helping others share.
James Warren:There's times when I need other people's empathy and I'm searching connection, and so I think there's times when I need other people's empathy and I'm searching connection, and so I think there's times when we can approach those moments not being fully for lack of a better word ready or prepared for it or fully wanting to do it. But if we give ourselves the gift of that opportunity, even a little bit, and say let me see what's kind of around this corner, then we get a lot of benefit from it. And I think that's the beauty of story it's progressive. I don't have to sign up for my life story all at once. I can start with small stories and work my way into a place of deeper vulnerability and trust and courage.
Manya Chylinski:That makes me think I share my story, my experience and the number of people who come up to me afterwards and feel that they can share a little bit of what's going on in their own lives. And early on, honestly, I didn't fully understand. I had to come to realize, oh, I'm sharing something personal and vulnerable and they're feeling like here is someone safe I can share my story with and once I realized that I don't quite know how to say this listened with a heightened level of respect for them that they actually felt safe to talk to me.
James Warren:I think that what you just described is that beautiful sort of alchemy, if you will like. This transformation that happens when we share is we both just start rising in our empathy and our desire to not only be heard but to hear. I think sometimes people approach a situation where they're really feeling unheard, and when they're feeling unheard, they are yearning a way to be heard, and sometimes that blocks us. When we only want to be heard, it blocks us from hearing. I've been in that position, but there's other times when I'm not so much trying to be heard. I'm trying to maybe create anets, not a whole thing, because I want people to get comfortable with reflecting on their own experience and then taking that step. And that's the most gratifying part of it to me.
James Warren:It's what Maya Angelou said and, for me, this foundational statement that there's no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside of you, and I think that is the human condition. I think we walk around with stories because we have experiences and memories, and some of them are traumatic and it's hard to get them out and we're carrying them in, and some of them are extremely exciting. We're like I need somebody to tell, who can I tell this to? And there's nobody here. Both of those are a form of agony, you know, keeping a story inside you that you want to tell. It's hard.
Manya Chylinski:Yes, and I appreciate you mentioned just the concept of voice. I know someone who makes sure to remind us we all have a voice. We may not all be listened to, but we all have that voice and it is important to continue to tell our stories, especially for not being listened to. You need to find the people who are going to be able to, and that is a special kind of agony as well, when you've got a story and it feels like the world or your organization or your boss or this person just isn't open to it.
James Warren:Yes, that feeling, I think, is what I encountered early in the journey of helping people tell their stories, especially in the context of organizations, because you would often be brought into a situation where maybe there wasn't a lot of trust to begin with, and so people have lots of questions around, like I don't feel heard, but I also don't know if I trust what will happen when I am heard, and so that is just a really challenging and delicate thing to navigate and as a you know somebody, maybe facilitating that process it's one thing, but what you're really trying to do is help that leader understand. This is the environment that you have. It's not just what people are telling you, it's also what they can't tell you or won't tell you, and that's probably a lot of what you really need to know. And so you can't get there from zero to 60 overnight. You've got to build trust over time. You've got to create space and intention so that people will not just do it but will trust it, and that's why I keep coming back to you know part of.
James Warren:Sometimes we will find somebody wants to understand what their organization feels and thinks and is experiencing, and we will quickly realize we have to start with you. We have to start with what you're feeling and experiencing and they'll say, well, no, no, it doesn't matter what I'm like, it's about the organization. I'm like are you not part of your organization? Well, yeah, but I'm in charge? Well, right, but you have an experience and whatever your experience is, it's blocking you on some level from creating the openness, the transparency, the vulnerability, and you think that that's you being strong, that is a barrier to your people feeling like they can open up, and so sometimes it feels like therapy even though I am nothing like that.
James Warren:I know, I know We'll add that to the list. I'm not a preacher, I'm not a politician, I am not a therapist.
Manya Chylinski:I so hear you. I have said those exact same words. We have said multiple times now the word trust, and the more I do this podcast and the more I have these conversations, the more that is the core of it, the more I believe that is the core is do we trust our manager? Do we trust our boss? Do we trust the organization? And without that, I feel like a lot of people are struggling and a lot of workplaces are likely not unlocking the power of the people who work for them.
James Warren:A hundred percent. I've seen both where exactly the scenario you described is true, and I've also seen the positive version of that, where that higher level of trust is engendering stronger, more connected culture, more collaborative, more open. Where conflict is not a problem Conflict there's plenty of versions of healthy conflict, and when you have a low trust environment, there's either an absence of conflict in a productive way or all of the conflict is just negative. You know what I mean. Like there's no working through it.
James Warren:There's a lot of pretending that everything is fine and then exploding on people when it's not, and I think we're in an era where people are so overwhelmed by life and work that work used to hold such tremendous meaning for lots of people maybe not everybody, but a lot of people.
James Warren:I think people have been reassessing their relationship to work and clearly companies have been reassessing their relationships to employees, and so I think, as that continues to play out, I think the smart leader is thinking ahead like the dust of this will settle and if we emerge, we're going to have to not only maintain but probably build trust. But if we start doing that now, if we start creating a culture that is built on trust, we really might be truly the preferred destination, and I struggle so many times when people get this in the external sense of what they need to do for their consumer to trust the brand and they don't make the connection that you should do the exact same thing inside your organization and they really see these as two separate things that really don't relate to each other or hold equal priority to them, and that blows my mind.
James Warren:Yes, I find that shocking when I come across that as well. What do you think is the cause of that dichotomy? What the lovers of growth are in today's society? Ecosystem, environment, economy, whatever you want to say, because I think we're saturated right, there's so much that we have choices to consume. We have to find ways to differentiate, and experiences are becoming shorthand for how we differentiate, because what we're really saying is you're not buying this product, you're buying the way this product makes you feel, and I think the same is true inside the organization.
James Warren:I'm not here to just do a job and collect a check. I mean I can, but I would prefer to work at a place that, when I leave work, I feel good about what I did, even if I feel tired. I feel good about what I did, even if I feel tired. I feel a sense of achievement, a sense of being valued for what I do, and I think that some companies think that that is truly the expense and not the investment. I think it's the other way around.
James Warren:If you want that kind of outcome with your customers and the brand to be strong, you got to do it from the inside out, and I think so. For me, leaders who do that transactionally, it goes back to your point about trust, their see-through, and it becomes very, very clear that what they said they were going to do was a circumstantial commitment instead of a deep-seated belief in value. But I think that that is changing over time. I think I don't I'm not under any illusions that all of a sudden the business world will ditch its current focus on outcome metrics in favor of creating better human experiences for people everywhere.
James Warren:But we know some are, and we know that those companies continue to do more and do better, and I just think people in general society, workforces et cetera, are demanding more and more of that. They're demanding it loudly in some cases, quietly in others. They're showing it in their level of engagement with the company, with the brand, and so I think, again, the smart money would be on go to the future, anticipate what people want and need, and they want to be in places where they feel valued and appreciated for the work they do and as a leader, you see that as a calculation instead of a commitment. You're probably doing it wrong.
Manya Chylinski:Yes, and more and more many people are looking at the workplace as a community. I mean, I talk about it whether you want it to be or not. It is a community. But I think people are more and more seeking out that sense of community from workplaces that we might not be getting in some other places.
James Warren:That's big, because I think that's true on a lot of levels. I think that people are starved for real connection. We have more information than ever and less knowledge. We talk at each other more than ever and we're less connected, and so I think that people are starting to more overtly seek real human connection in lots of places real community, as you say, micro community, macro community, and to me all of that is leading to people really want to belong. I think everybody has a deep seated need to belong. I think it's varies in people's priorities, but I think we all need that on some level, because we're generally meant to be social creatures that are interdependent on one another, and so I think you're right For me, that macro belief is migrating into the workplace.
James Warren:I don't think every person wants to blend their personal and work lives, but they want to have their say in that, and I think companies have got to come to terms with. The value proposition of work is changing, and what's fascinating to me is to see how quickly companies in today's economy are racing to the bottom of that particular equation, the relationship they want more and more from employees, and they're offering less and less certainty and less and less community, and it's like, hmm, one of these things is not adding up, the ledger is out of balance, it's not going to work that long.
Manya Chylinski:Yes, I'm glad you brought that up. It feels we're sort of stuck in that command and control and that transactional model. And how do you think we are doing in terms of training leaders to think this way? What are we missing? How are we letting them down?
James Warren:I love this. I see this at work in an organization today, which is it always starts with. It's kind of like a good story. It starts in the middle of things, right. So it starts with a leader that's already committed to that. Sometimes they got there because they cared about it or because somebody taught them or mentored them, but they're there now, they're in a leadership position and that leader has a exponentially outsized impact when they choose to lead this way, when they choose to value the human and they start to realize it really isn't an either or If I'm in business, I can be in business and make money and care about people. It really is not. These two things that cannot be reconciled.
James Warren:I get it that people who are at different ends of the spectrum may feel differently. But for me those two things are not at odds, and so if the leader can, sort of by chance, become that person, then the question is, like you said, what are the skills and the experiences that we need to intentionally deliver future leaders so that they cultivate that, the raw intention, the raw instinct for that, if they have it, and they train it and increase it over time? I don't know that you can make a without that person going through a lot. I think it's hard to go from being a fundamentally self-centered or transactional person into somebody who prioritizes the needs and experiences of others. It kind of goes back to how your mama raised you, kind of thing you know. But I also think there's a lot of different styles in that that sometimes get confused, for they don't care because they don't act this way. Maybe they do, they're just they're wired a little differently.
James Warren:I know people who are very and they will tell you, I am empathetic at the collective level. I struggle with individual empathy because that's just their personality and when you press them on it they don't not care about people individually, they just struggle with how to connect. And so then it's like well, how do we give skills to people who either are individually empathetic and need to learn how to do that for an organization, or sometimes there's trade-offs and what this person needs and what this person needs are at odds and you have to navigate those or people who don't know how to connect individually but care about the whole. How do you help them pull that down a little bit? So I do think I don't think we've done the best job over the last 25, 30, 40 years, but I think the generations entering the workforce today are demanding that.
James Warren:I think that I do see in academia, particularly in some of the B-school environments and some of the interdisciplinary environments, I see curricula being developed that thinks about all of these aspects of the human experience and what leaders need to know and do in order to be effective. So I think it's changing gradually. But I do think in the business side of it, if it's marketplace driven, it's going to take leaders who have that conviction and say I believe this is the right way to run a business, the right way to lead an organization and doing it, because when they say that that's their conviction, it shifts the expectation for what they are and what success looks like. They attract the people they need. Frankly, they repel the people they don't, and then they move forward with more alignment.
Manya Chylinski:Wow, thank you for that, James. I could talk to you for about three more hours. We are getting close to the end of our time and you and I are just going to have to plan another time to chat. But before we end, can you please share with our listeners a little bit more about yourself and what you do and how they can reach you?
James Warren:Well, thanks for that. Yeah, I consider myself a storyteller, a researcher and a strategist. I also consider myself an aspiring People. So you're not aspiring, you're doing it, but I consider myself a writer who's an aspiring author, because I guess I still reserve the title author for a writer of books. But maybe that's my old school thinking.
James Warren:And you know, what I do is I lead the team at Share More Stories, which is a human experience insights company. So we use storytelling and technology to help organizations do kind of what we were talking about better understand and connect with the experiences of the people that I believe the leader serves, which is their employees, their customers and their community stakeholders. So we do a lot of work in both the for-profit and not-for-profit sector, helping primarily leaders and executive teams who want to improve employee experience, employee engagement, customer experience, to do that through stories. To do that by listening to their stories, understanding their experiences and then kind of going through a process to develop solutions to make them better. So that's what I do and I'm really lucky I get to do it. That's for that to be my day job is pretty cool.
Manya Chylinski:Thank you because that is such important work, so I definitely appreciate that and thank you for being here. I've enjoyed our conversation, looking forward to the next time you and I chat.
James Warren:Absolutely.
Manya Chylinski:Thank you to our listeners. Appreciate you listening to this episode of Notes on Resilience and we will catch you on the next episode.
