Notes on Resilience

146: Serve First, Lead Strong, with Sebastián Torres-Calderon

• Manya Chylinski • Season 3 • Episode 42

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What if leadership is a practice you start the moment a gap appears? 

That’s the lens Sebastián Torres-Calderon brings to our conversation. He was an intern who helped stabilize a hospitality company during COVID and later became its leader 

Sebastian traces his first leadership roles back to the soccer field, where playing midfield taught him to connect people, read the whole game, and lead by example. Those instincts carried into a crisis: answer questions nobody else can, shoulder the unglamorous work, and set a steady rhythm when uncertainty spikes. 

We discuss how servant leadership transforms presence and support into performance, what compassion really looks like at work—less pity, more caring plus honesty and accountability, and why cultures modeled after high-pressure restaurant kitchens burn out talent. And we explore practical ways to build trust and psychological safety without lowering the bar: clear goals, fast feedback, and a leader who removes friction so experts can do their best work.

We also get specific about measurement. Sebastian shares how he balances culture and the bottom line using business results and employee Net Promoter Score, and why managers (not HR) own the daily experience of their teams. As the company grew from a handful of people to seventy across Spain, the mindset stayed the same: service over status, humility over control, and learning over certainty. The result is a resilient culture where people feel supported, standards stay high, and success compounds.

Sebastián Torres-Calderon is the general manager at Stay U-nique. He started his career studying at Le Cordon Bleu and working in top kitchens such as the Ritz Carlton in Florida, where he learned discipline and leadership in high-pressure environments. He is also the co-founder of Tekea, a frozen tequeño brand.

You can connect with Sebastián on LinkedIn.

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Sebastián Torres-Calderon:

I'm in a position as a leader. I'm in a position in which I need to serve people. I'm not in a position I get served by people or I get advantage of people. I need to serve them. I need to be present for them, help them. What do I need to do in order that you have everything to success in your job?

Manya Chylinski:

Hello and welcome to Notes on Resilience. My name is Manya Chylinski, and my guest today is Sebastián Torres Calderon. He is the CEO at Stay Unique, which is rental apartments across Spain. And we talked about compassion and leadership, what it was like to lead through the COVID crisis, and what does it really mean to be a leader? I think you're really going to enjoy this episode. Sebastián, I'm so glad to be talking to you today. Thanks for being here.

Sebastián Torres-Calderon:

Thank you very much, Manya. Pleasure to be here.

Manya Chylinski:

First question, everyone has to answer this one. What is one thing you have done in any area of your life that you never thought you would do?

Sebastián Torres-Calderon:

Thank you. I think I got the answer right. It's probably moving to Europe, that it's another continent, another country and continent that crossing the sea and moving at 25 years old. So I think I think that that needs to be the answer.

Manya Chylinski:

Yes. That qualifies. That is a huge move to move from South America to Europe. How are you liking it over there?

Sebastián Torres-Calderon:

It's very nice. It's very nice. I did pass through the United States first. I I went there at I lived in Naples at 19 years old for a year or so. Was doing an internship. But then moving everything and starting a new life here at 25 was a little bit different. Back then I knew I was going to be back in Peru in a year or so. But when I packed my bags and came to Europe, I I didn't know what to expect.

Manya Chylinski:

Yes, that's a huge change. Well, I'm envious. I every once in a while I think of packing all my bags and moving to Europe. So we are talking about compassionate leadership and leading through crisis. And you have been in a position to lead teams through a crisis. I'm thinking here of COVID. And I'm curious, how do you think about strong leadership and how important that is in a crisis?

Sebastián Torres-Calderon:

Yeah, thank you for asking. It was kind of weird for me, right? Because I was, I wasn't a leader back then, or at least I wasn't in a leadership position because I was in I was doing an internship. I came to Spain to do my master's degree, and and I get an internship in State Unique. That was the company I'm still working at. And I wasn't in a leadership position. I was in a customer service position, a customer service representative. But uh when COVID hit, everything was was very blur of what we needed to do in the company. And uh I don't know, we were like maybe 50 people or 40 people, and and suddenly we were 10 or 8 because everyone left. And it was really weird. And and I think that I don't know if that was a quality I have or something that I I learned how to do, but it was instinct, and I said, I think now I'm not in a leadership position, but I have a lot of responsibility. I cannot leave this company just like that. And I had had been two months there, so there wasn't really a uh a kind of I had been three years here for my loyalty and it's to be shown or or whatever. It was it was I don't know, uh culture values of what my family taught me, and and I said, well, we we need to do something here. I don't know if uh leadership per se, but this leadership position started to get a form, right? First through actions or things I could have been doing, and then more formally, hey, that there's clearly a path here, right?

Manya Chylinski:

Right. Well, one thing that's so important about your experience and what you just shared is that it's possible to lead without having a formal leadership role. You saw something that needed to be done and jumped in to help.

Sebastián Torres-Calderon:

Yeah, I think it could be tough. You can teach how to be a leadership or how to be a leader, but it's something also uh you acquire from very early ages in your life. And it's when you are in school and there are some situations in when you need to stand up and lead a group of people to do something. Hopefully it's a good thing, but it's when you start to do this kind of stuff, right? We without knowing, without knowing this is gonna help you in the future, or without knowing this is what a leader should do, it's just an instinct uh of something that happens and you act and people start falling on you for some reason. And and I think I have had done realizing that now uh from my past and some scenarios in which I in the past I said nothing, but now I realize hey, I was leading a group of people back then, also that was maybe my friends, I don't know.

Manya Chylinski:

Well, you bring up something that a few of my recent guests have talked about, which is the importance of who you are and what you learn when you're young. That those are the qualities we bring to our roles as adults. We don't always want to think about it that way, but you learned your leadership skills the same way that I did when we were young.

Sebastián Torres-Calderon:

Yeah, I think I did through sports actually. I I was a fan of uh soccer or football, uh whatever name you you you want to call it, and I loved it and and I I think I was good. And then I was uh the captain in the in in my school, and and I think there's where my path through leadership starts, right? But leadership by example, uh always been don't do to others or don't ask someone to do something you wouldn't do, uh don't or or things like that. Yeah.

Manya Chylinski:

And you bring up something important. I think sports, especially when we're young, can really help play that role of shaping um how we work with others, how we work as teams, how we think about leadership. So glad that you brought that up. What uh what position do you play?

Sebastián Torres-Calderon:

Oh, it's a midfielder. And it's crazy. It's crazy because it's you said the sports, right? Until it doesn't become a profession. You said it's a hobby, it's something we need to do to keep healthy and so on. But there is so much about things that then you can apply to work or life that you have been taught or teach by sports, it's amazing.

Manya Chylinski:

And I love that you don't necessarily know you're being taught, you just learn it as part of what you're doing. I have a question about your experience in COVID. So you took on some leadership responsibilities just because of who you are. Did you notice specific actions or activities that you wished leadership was doing and they weren't? So were you acting to fill something that was missing? Or you just jumped in with both feet and said, I can help?

Sebastián Torres-Calderon:

I'm not sure. I think it was I wasn't thinking on that. I was just thinking, there's a crisis, we need to act as a team and as fast and as good as possible we can, and we need to do the best we can. And then I wasn't thinking, should I be a leader or not? Or is there a situation in which I need to act? I just act and I started working really hard, really long hours, and said uh we need to save the company because it's not gonna save itself, right? And then and then suddenly I was maybe in a position in which for some reason people didn't know what to do in this or that scenario, and they asked me, and I just answered without thinking again that I was uh helping someone to be a leader, and then new people started entering to a company, and and I think that's where I was seen as someone we need to ask Sebastian because he probably knows what to do, and that's where I start realizing okay, I'm doing some tasks or some things that are from a leadership position.

Manya Chylinski:

That's so interesting that you say that you weren't thinking necessarily I need to become a leader. You were just doing what you saw was needed in the time. But now you are officially a leader now, you are a CEO. So, how have you taken that lesson that you learned into your current role?

Sebastián Torres-Calderon:

Yeah, I think I think it's Chris, right? Because the company grew so much, and I grew with and I grew up the company, and we were 10 back then, we are 70 right now, and we have, I don't know, five times the work we used to have, or 10 times the work we used to have back then. And and things started to to flow, right? And I think I have learned so much because we don't stop learning, right? It's not that I knew everything back then, and because I lead a team of football, it's the same and I can lead here. No, you can take examples, but I learn every day because I I have passed through different positions or level of positions of responsibility, and sometimes well, well, there is something to be, I don't know, in a leadership position of a customer service that's really important, but it's it's a really different profile than uh what I'm doing now, right? Uh, because it's a profile that probably I don't know needs more attention and more detail and more uh follow-ups on things. And now I'm in a position in which I have people that report to me uh that don't need any supervision and that probably are better than me in what they do, right? So again, I think at least myself, I think the leadership things that I'm learning, I I will continue learning my in my path every day.

Manya Chylinski:

Right. I like that someone who like wants to learn something new every day, because I think we learn something new every day, whether we want to or not, so you can embrace it and just appreciate that you're doing that. Sebastián, as a leader now, as a formal leader who's got people who work for you, do you think about the concept of compassion in your team? And and what do you think about it if you do?

Sebastián Torres-Calderon:

Yes, it's a complicated work, right? Because you can take it in a bad way or in a good way, right? I have compassion for you. I don't know, could be something that it's not well seen, depending on maybe on the language that you said it. Uh, maybe in Spanish it's a little bit different, but I think we we need to have it. At the end, we're we're taking responsibilities on people's lives. That is because work is an important part of their lives, right? And and is what's supporting their family, and a lot of things are related to this. And I think it's related to trust, to honesty, accountability, and and some words that maybe you can accomplish accompanying this, right? But I think it's really important. I think it's really important to have it. I think I told you, it's not something you normally see in kitchens. For example, I used to work in a kitchen where it's a really different environment, right? It's a high amount of pressure, crazy people yelling at each other, not compassion at all. So, yeah, that's an answer, I think.

Manya Chylinski:

That's a good answer. And I appreciate that you brought up your work in the kitchens because as we discussed on our pre-call, those are not environments where that people associate with the word compassion.

Sebastián Torres-Calderon:

Yeah, I think I I think I I I learned a lot in my time I I was working in kitchens, about the good things and the bad things, right? And the good things are maybe the crazy hours I work, the the the grateful I am for being in the type of company or position I am now, and how I get to treat others, and the example I maybe don't want to give to others. But yeah, it's it's crazy environments. I don't know why, I don't know if it's changing. I I think people is realizing, and and that's why now it's so difficult to get people to work in kitchens because nobody wants to do this anymore. It's not a great high pay salary plus long hours, plus someone treating you bad. It's a combo that you don't like in your life, or you're not able to sustain for length of time, right?

Manya Chylinski:

Right. It's a case study in the opposite of a compassionate workplace. I'm curious. So, what is the word for compassion in Spanish?

Sebastián Torres-Calderon:

It's really similar, it's compasion, but I don't know if it's more related to to pity, uh, to pettiness.

Manya Chylinski:

Oh, okay.

Sebastián Torres-Calderon:

Maybe I'm I'm not so sure.

Manya Chylinski:

Okay. So it's it's uh not something you guys spend a lot of time talking about in terms of work environment, is it?

Sebastián Torres-Calderon:

No, or no. We we we talk about or the values we had in the company, right? We talk about of accountability, of honesty, of caring. We talk about of I think maybe it's uh it's a mix of trust or honesty and caring, right? Because I will care for someone, then I will probably have kind of compassion for someone, right? Because I I care for this person. But at the same time, I'm gonna be honest and I'm gonna hold accountable. And and yeah, I think all of this is related to how I care for someone.

Manya Chylinski:

Yes, yes, you're absolutely right. Whether you use that word compassion or not, when you talk about building trust, um, accountability, those are all pieces of it. What do you think we're missing in leadership development programs in terms of building that compassion in whatever words you use to describe it?

Sebastián Torres-Calderon:

Good question. I think we're we're missing the fact that there's a say, right, in or or something that I have read a lot recently is leadership through service. And that we as leaders, or I'm in a position as a leader, I'm in a position in which I need to serve people. I'm not in a position I get served by people or I get advantage of people. I need to serve them. I need to be present for them, help them. Why what do I need to do in order that you have everything to success in your job or your or the thing that you need to do, right? So yeah, we need to serve more. We need to be there for people and for a company. And it's related to to humble, right? To being humble. I just have a title, the CEO is a title. Then I'm a person as anyone else, and I have been the position probably that you have been if I need to talk to an employee. And it's leadership for service. Yes.

Manya Chylinski:

Yes, that is a that is a term I've been hearing a lot recently as well: servant leadership and leadership through service, which is, I think, a key way of bringing those kind of skills we've been talking about, building trust, building accountability. Um, so from your perspective, your experience through COVID and your experience as a leader now, have you ever explicitly thought about the concept of psychological safety in the workforce?

Sebastián Torres-Calderon:

I have not heard about it. Can you elaborate a little bit more on what it means specifically?

Manya Chylinski:

So it's it's so related to what we're we're talking about. So it's a building an environment where people know they can trust you. So they can they can trust you if they have a problem, they can come to you. They trust that you're going to treat them fairly. And so when we started talking so much about trust and accountability, that's psychological safety is a really big piece that you have this environment where people feel safe.

Sebastián Torres-Calderon:

Yes. And and I I agree completely. I think it's difficult, right? Because we as leaders as we have two responsibilities, or we have, or one, but whatever you you you want to say. But but for me, we have two, right? And one is uh I need to be able that this space is the most comfortable or most safe environment that it needs to be because it's your work, you're gonna be here five days a week, probably more with us than with your family. And and this needs to be a good place, right? And you need to feel that. But on the other way, especially when when we talk about young people, right? I have or I feel I have a responsibility that when you enter the company, if you're living one day, you are living as a better person. Or you're living as someone that is better prepared professionally in terms that he goes to another company and he is gonna be the best in that company because of the things we're talking, right? Sometimes related with pressure, with attention to detail, with a lot of accountability and trust, and say you can improve in this and this, and and sometimes it's not easy. So there is a carefully balance that you need to have in order to don't exceed that amount of pressure. It's like when you're a parent, right? I'm not a parent, but my my dad used to pressure me a lot. And I think that was because he cared about me and he wanted the best for me. And I appreciate that now, not back in the past, but now it's I think it's related to that. And sometimes it's a it's a it's a fine line, it's not easy, and and you can make mistakes and then maybe take it too far. And and and that's where you need to to balance again. Right.

Manya Chylinski:

You know, what you're saying, I realize is different from what some leaders think. I mean, you are talking so much about that servant leadership and how to build trust and and to build an environment where people feel supported and taken care of. And not every leader necessarily thinks that way. Now, how do you one of the things that I hear is how do you measure that? So if you are building trust or you are building accountability, how is that impacting the bottom line? How can we show that that makes a difference? So, how do you balance that, that your business needs to be making money? And it's really important to be treating people this way.

Sebastián Torres-Calderon:

Not easy, but I think that the the the answer is measuring things, right? And and then you can measure two things for that. We we measure a lot of things, but two things that can answer to this is one is a company achieving the results that we need. Are we hiring and firing based on our values? So are we really strict with our values? And then we have the MPS or or the employee net promoter score, right? So if the company is achieving the results and at the end, people is answering good. So we have, I think, 63, that is higher than the average of companies, or much higher, and and it's really good, right? So it's a good result. And sometimes I think the mistake we do in leadership teams is that we want or we hold HR accountable for the happiness of our teams, and that's not correct. Because our teams spend, if I have a team, probably the team spends 90% of the time they work in communication with me and 10% for HR. So why should I hold accountable HR for the happiness of this person? If 90% of the communication is with me, if this person is happy, it's clearly because I'm not doing something well. So if you hold that accountable, so for example, I have my direct reports, right? And I'm entirely 100% responsible that these people are happy and they're also they're accomplishing the results. But then these people have direct reports, right? And I need to hold them accountable that hey, your direct reports is your responsibility to make them happy. And in the and in the same part to accomplish the goals that they have in the department, and then if you keep going down with that, then you build that culture of accountability and trust and and everything we have been talking about, I think.

Manya Chylinski:

Wow, wow, okay. So I hadn't thought about that in employee uh net promoter score in a while. I haven't even thought about that. That's a pretty high number you guys have there.

Sebastián Torres-Calderon:

Yes, we're very happy.

Manya Chylinski:

So, yes, you are very happy. People really enjoy working there. Sebastián, we're getting close to the end of our time. I'd love to find out from you what is giving you hope right now.

Sebastián Torres-Calderon:

I think acting in a I think what what we have been talking recently, right? It's a it's a leadership for service, not only in work, but in my or trying to do it in my life, right? So if I help someone or do a good action every day, then that's probably making me happy and making uh something good in the world. So that's that's where happiness is. I think it's it's in the more you help people, the more probably happy you're gonna be, and the more hope you're gonna have in the in that the future is good.

Manya Chylinski:

Oh, I love that. Thank you for sharing that. Now, before we go, uh can you share with our listeners a little bit more about yourself and your work?

Sebastián Torres-Calderon:

Sure. Well, I'm uh currently in Spain, uh in Barcelona. I but I'm originally from Lima, Peru. I have been living here in Spain six years since six years ago, 2019. I work at State Unique, that is the best company in the world. Uh, it's a rental management company. Uh and well, based in Barcelona, but with operations in Spain, Sevilla and Malaga. And I think that's it. I love football, I love uh dogs, and I spend time with my family.

Manya Chylinski:

I think that sounds fabulous. And you I love that your company is the greatest company in the world to you. That's so important in a leader, I think. Um, Sebastián, thank you so much for taking the time to talk with me today.

Sebastián Torres-Calderon:

Thanks to you, Manya. It was a pleasure.

Manya Chylinski:

Hey, and thanks to our listeners for checking out this episode of Notes on Resilience, and I will catch you next time.

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Manya Chylinski

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