170: The Servant Leader Mindset, with Daniel Tataje

The strongest leaders change what people believe about themselves.

 That’s the thread running through my conversation with Dr. Daniel Tataje, founder and CEO of Mercy Dental Group and author of The Leader Humanity Needs, a leader who’s built an award-winning workplace culture by treating compassion as a responsibility, not a strategy.

For Daniel, leadership means putting your talents, your authority, and your organization in service of others, and using mission and core values to create leaders at every level, not only in formal management roles.

We also get practical about scale: how you keep values from becoming wallpaper, how integrity creates trust and psychological safety, and how to handle conflict without losing the human at the center of the problem.

 Daniel breaks down what positivity looks like when it’s honest and why the words "I believe in you” might be the most powerful message a leader can deliver, especially when someone is struggling and support is inconvenient.

If you care about compassionate leadership, employee engagement, and building a values-driven workplace culture that actually holds up under pressure, this one will give you a clear path forward. 

Dr. Daniel Tataje is the founder, owner, and CEO of Mercy Dental Group and author of the book The Leader Humanity Needs. 

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Transcript

A Leader’s Quietest Superpower

Daniel Tataje 1:14

Most powerful thing you can say to someone is, I believe in you. And you say that without words a lot of times. And because that transfers powers people don't understand or they don't know how valuable they are sometimes. And that is your main role as a leader is to make them understand that.

Manya Chylinski 1:34

Hello and welcome to Notes on Resilience. I'm your host, Manya Chylinski. My guest today, Dr. Daniel Tataje. He's the leader of the Mercy Dental Group, which is a winner of multiple Best Place to Work awards. He's the author of The Leader Humanity Needs. And we talked about compassion and leadership. How do you do that at scale? And what do you do when someone isn't having a good day? It was a fabulous conversation. I know you're going to enjoy it. Daniel, I'm so glad you're here today. Thanks for being here.

Daniel Tataje 2:10

Oh, thank you for having me. I'm just super excited to be here with you and your audience.

Manya Chylinski 2:16

All right. The first question: what would the title of a book about you be if your worst enemy wrote it?

Daniel Tataje 2:27

That is a very, very interesting question. And it's hard for me to answer because, of course, I don't know if I if I have enemies that I could call enemies. But I hope, like if I when I think about that, I hope they still will be objective and respect me. I wish they would write a book, or I guess the title of the book could be the title of my book, The Leader Humanity Needs. Oh. I want everyone to understand that with their leadership, they can make a positive impact in the world. And everyone is called to be to be a leader to move someone into a better place. So I don't know. Uh it's a very difficult question to answer, to be honest.

When Success Still Feels Empty

Manya Chylinski 3:14

You're right. It is a difficult question. And the hard part is thinking about who is my enemy. I that is, I think we all can certainly think of people who might not, we're maybe not their favorite person. It's harder to think that difficult a relationship. But I love it. I love that the title of their book would be the same as the title of your book, um, The Leader Humanity Needs. And that is such the perfect title. And as I was telling you when we were just before we started recording, the title itself just it's so meaningful to me. And I just thought, okay, this guy knows what he's talking about. And everyone has had a moment in their life that changes how they think about leading or taking care of other people. What was one of those moments for you?

Daniel Tataje 4:08

I guess it was the moment when I reached what I thought it was uh my dream, right? To uh and and you know, growing up, I had a lot of um financial struggles, you know, like my we didn't have much, and I had to to to work my my way out of it with schooling and scholarships and all the kinds of things. And I always thought some point I will reach this level of comfort where I will just make enough where I can just have whatever I want and just be not be bothered, right? And achieve this, this. And I feel like at some point in my life I I did achieve that moment. And I kind of like got disenchanted because it was I realized I was chasing a fake dream, right? Something that was not fulfilling necessarily, you know, material things were not in my book. I I talk about this this moment, and I give an analogy with the dog races when dogs are chasing this fake rabbit and they just run with their whole heart to get it. And sometimes we're like that in life, and sometimes this uh dogs run so fast they reach the rabbit and they realize it's a piece of metal. And those dogs can't run anymore, they lose motivation. And I found myself in a moment like that where I'm like, what's going on? This is not like this is not fulfilling. I'm just I I realized I was uh more like selfish and I wanted to just kind of like use all these accomplishments and all that for for my own betterment. So that's where I decided, or I realized that I had to use all of my talents and all the things that I I had, including the company and all that, for for the betterment of the world. It was supposed to be a tool to improve the lives of others. So I started living my life for others, and that was uh uh I think a key moment for me where I realized that that is the way you find fulfillment, not trying to live the life for for yourself.

Manya Chylinski 6:15

Right. And we call that servant leadership.

Daniel Tataje 6:19

That's right.

Manya Chylinski 6:20

That's a term that is relatively new to me within the past few years. And I love what that says. But what does being a servant leader mean to you?

Daniel Tataje 6:33

Servant leader and leader means that you put your talents and your position and everything you do to the service of others, include not only other people, but to the service of a mission. And for for me, you know, I'm a dentist, I I own a relatively like large uh dental company. We have multiple clinics, we have um 140 employees. So for me, the way I see myself in this organization, and I'm I'm I'm the servant of all. I am I am here to to set the stage for everyone to succeed. I work for for my people, but they don't work for me. You know, so that is just it's a different uh way to see your role as a leader. You're here for to make sure that people grow, succeed, that you use your talents and your resources and all that to make a positive impact in the life of the people that the business touches, including in this case for us is patients, employees, vendors, everyone we we meet, we have the the opportunity to meet. So it's putting yourself to the service of others, and that is how you find true fulfillment, honestly. I've tried it the other way and it didn't work for you. It didn't work.

Manya Chylinski 7:49

Not every leader would describe themselves in the kind of terms that you just did. Can you give some examples of what does that mean in practice, in terms of how you the actions you take, the way you deal with employees? What are some of the hallmarks of being a servant leader for you?

Scaling Culture With Mission And Values

Daniel Tataje 8:06

Well, you have to start with the way your mentality has to change, right? So you have to see people of unique as unique gifts, right? So to me, everyone, and this is another uh thing I I present in the book, one of the marks of leadership of the marks of leadership, seven marks of leadership that I present in the book is respect. And when I talk about respect, I don't talk about the typical definition of respect. I I uh I give a little bit uh of a different approach, which is respect is understanding everyone's value, right? So everyone is unique, valuable, with a unique set of talents and unique set of experiences that make them who they are. So um every person is a universe, I said, I say in the book. And when you see your employees and the people that are like uh you're surrounded with so many talents and all that, you see them as gifts, it it changes everything because um now you you are honored to be in their presence. You even though you are you are the leader in this organization, the actual leader, but you see everyone as a unique gift in your life, and also you see yourself as a gift in the lives of others. So it's a it's a it's a mutual it brings mutual respect, but that is the first step. It's just knowing that everyone is unique and talented, and everyone has unlimited potential. So my job as a servant leader of the organization is to put my talents to the service of others. And one of those talents, in in this case, I I love, or I guess I have a special talent by like looking at people and knowing what their talents are and where to position them. So that is, I guess, the the first step. I'm not sure if I'm answering your question, but you did, absolutely.

Manya Chylinski 10:06

And it strikes me a couple of things. One is not everybody has that talent, and therefore, how do you have that mindset shift if you don't have that talent? And then the second piece it strikes is that's how do you do that at scale? You can do that with one person who's sitting across from you, and then the next person who's sitting across from you. But how do you do it when you have what is it, 11 locations and 140 employees?

Daniel Tataje 10:38

It's actually 13, yeah, locations. But yes, the way it's just an excellent question because that's a question I asked myself at some point. How when when the organization was growing fast paced, we I couldn't influence the team the way I did when we had our our one little clinic, right? So how do I and obviously I can't be everywhere? So I created the identity of the company. So the the the company as like with with you start with with the mission. What is our mission? What are we what we want to accomplish as a company? And the mission of Mercy Dental Group in this case is to make a positive impact in the life of people using our talents. And one of those is dentistry, but we have other talents. We listen to people, we care about people, we truly want to build relationships and make a positive impact in the community and all that stuff. So it's not only dentistry that we provide, but we we listen, we care, right? So that's number one. And the second one is what are what is your toolbox? How do you accomplish this mission? And that's through your core values. In this case, the core values of my company are the seven, the seven marks of leadership that I came up with. In my case, the way up what I'm trying to do is to create leaders in every position. Everyone has the the ability to just uh move the world to a better place or or your change your environment, right? So be the positive light in in your team and the lives of your patient and and all that. So you try to encourage people to find those talents and to use those talents and put them to the at the service of the mission, not at my service as a leader, not because it's my company's a service of the mission, because I work for that mission myself as well, right? So I put my talents in at the service of that mission. And that just becoming or embracing those values or those marks of leadership automatically inspires other people to behave that way. So I guess to answer your question, how do you scale it? Is you worry about yourself first and you're trying to influence the people that are around you, and those people will do the same. So in my book, also I say, you know, one of my favorite quotes is uh it's better to light a candle than to curse darkness. Yes. And what I the image is if there is darkness and you light up a candle that might inspire other people to do that, and they light up a candle, and everyone starts lighting a candle, a candle, and that overcomes the darkness. So it's the same, the same concept. You worry about your candle, light up your candle, become the leader you want other people to to be, and and that works. Uh, it has worked in my organization. And yeah, so that is, I guess, and we how do we practically implement all these things is by uh repeating this message as much as we can. We have events and and meetings and and things, and everything we do is it carries the the same message, right? So we behave with our values and and we strive for them.

Manya Chylinski 13:54

That's so important. I think many of us know examples of organizations that either we've worked for or we've interacted with who have a set of values that somehow end up just to be the thing on the website or the words on the wall in the lobby, and you don't feel those values throughout the people that you deal with in the organization. How did you manage to be able to marry those two things and have your business truly be reflecting those values?

Daniel Tataje 14:23

The way you do it is because you have to understand that you have to be authentic when you when you when you try to do this uh thing. So the way it is like a lot of businesses use business uh core values be uh as a strategy, as a way to to attract or retain or try to create culture that will retain employees, but there is some sort of some sort of return, some sort of strategy that you have. The way you have to see it is is as a duty to me. The way I don't I don't do this because this is going to bring me some sort of return or I will have a better retention for employees or anything like that. I do it because it's my duty. My duty as a as a as a leader in this organization is to use the organization for the service of the people, the the people that the business touches. So I firmly believe in that. So that's why we start with the leader, and you just have to be it has to be authentic. It has to be, and people can feel it, people can can will will follow if you if you are passionately believing in all these things. So that's what that's what I firmly believe in that. I want the people to succeed in my organization, and I want them to use the organization for that. And yeah, so that's that's I will say that way you make it possible.

Manya Chylinski 16:12

It sounds like you're describing within your organization that there is a tremendous amount of trust between leadership and employees, but in employees as well, and there's people feel safe in your organization.

Daniel Tataje 16:28

That's right. Yeah, and then it starts with the first mark of leadership, which is integrity, right? That so you have to have integrity, you have to be honest, you have to, because this is not a perfect organization, and everyone knows it, and I repeat it all the time. But I challenge people and say, Well, how do you how can you make us get better or be better? Because we strive for perfection, we're never gonna be better perfect, right? So we're always going to have struggles and things, but when you challenge people at every position, you have 140 talented people that are working towards the same place, and not everyone has a great day every day, but if everyone is at least trying or striving for these values and for all these things, yeah, whenever like we can encourage each other whenever we we we don't we don't feel like it, right? So that's why you don't I don't work with just people of in leadership positions, actual leadership positions, like managers or officers. I I work with everyone. I want everyone to understand their potential, their value. Not a lot of people know how valuable they are, right? They haven't been told, or so that's another role of another part of my role is to make people understand how how unique and and great and how much potential they have.

Manya Chylinski 17:52

I think you can never say that too many times to someone. That's right.

Handling Conflict And Bad Days

Daniel Tataje 17:58

Yeah. In my book, I say, well, the most powerful thing you can say to someone is I believe in you. And you say that with without words a lot of times. And because that transfers powers people don't understand or they don't know how valuable they are sometimes. And that is your main role as a leader is to make them understand that. Yeah.

Manya Chylinski 18:19

So we've talked about building this compassionate workplace where there's trust and it's safe and you're truly living your values. What are some challenges with that?

Supporting People Through Hard Seasons

Daniel Tataje 18:30

Yeah, there are many challenges because there are personalities, and not everyone is necessarily or are born that way. So, first we have to in the hiring process and all that, we we look for people that believe in some of these values, and and they like at least some of them resonate with them. And so that's step one. Then there is the way we address situations, they're all based on on the values, how we use the values to get out of problems, and right. So in this discussion, in this problem, were you humble enough to understand that like there is there's humility, there's empathy, there's positivity, all these things are are part of our our company values, which are the seven marks of leadership. So that is, I guess, the way you do uh deal with with um problems and also understanding that you will deal with problems, and that's why you have the the the the values. When I talk about positivity, I say, well, positivity is not pretending that every everything is good, it's understanding that even the most difficult things are making us greater. This conflict that we might be dealing with today is a conflict that will make us um better next time. We're learning from this. We are so we continue to advance. Today we have to be better than yesterday, and tomorrow we'll be better than today. So that is, I guess, the the attitude, right? So we have unlimited potential because of that. That's part of positivity.

Manya Chylinski 20:07

Well, you mentioned, you know, not everybody, not every day is good for everybody, right? People have bad days. That's the reality of just being human. And it sounds like you've built an environment where that is you are able to deal with that. And I'm I'm always thinking about somebody who has gone through something incredibly difficult like a trauma and comes to work and is really struggling. And it sounds like you've built in a kind of environment where somebody would be able to get the support that they need just because of the way you've built the organization.

Daniel Tataje 20:43

Yes. Now we have to understand the responsibility that we have and the ability that so we don't give up on people that easily. We are here to support people and we want to make sure that everyone is successful. Now, are we able to make people happy or to solve some some traumas? No, of course, they need professional help and all that, but we're here to do what we what we can to make make sure that they understand their their value and all that. I have many stories. I mean, we don't have enough time, but a lot of people that were were going through a very difficult moment in in their lives. And by doing this, like I believe in you mindset, they really change your change your life. I received an email just uh a week ago from from a doctor that was going through when I first uh hired him, he was going through a very difficult moment uh in his life and he was struggling and he he felt like he couldn't practice dentistry. And it wasn't the most convenient thing for me to to have him in the team because he wasn't as productive or as as good. He was distracted, he he was taking a lot of time off. And but I didn't give up on him, and I tell him, Well, you know what, we can work slowly, we can slowly work back here, and and I provided an opportunity that will allow him to just kind of like um get back into dentistry, and he ended up moving to another state uh later, like recently, a couple years later. But he sent me this email telling him how much he was uh thanking me for that, that I didn't give up on him because he gave up on himself, and now he you know he's going somewhere else. And and that's another thing, you know. Like I'm happy for him. Like, I'm not I invested all this this time and all this, and he ended up like for life decisions and all that. He's getting married somewhere else, uh, he's moving out of state. And I'm happy for him, and I'm happy that the organization and uh me in this position we were able to to help him. Now we have a a better dentist in a better mental place and all that somewhere else in the world, but I'm just so so happy that the organization was able, or we used this tool to improve his situation.

Manya Chylinski 23:05

Right. And I love that you said, you know, it wasn't the most convenient thing because he was dealing with something that probably made it difficult for him to work, and that made it difficult for the organization, but that you stuck with him, and that right there to me is the is the you know, where the rubber meets the road of the values.

Where To Find Daniel’s Work

Daniel Tataje 23:28

That's right. And I think it is noticeable, right? So I didn't do it because I wanted again, it wasn't convenient. I didn't do it because I there was some sort of strategy for to to prove the organization I is something is is is is a tool. It's because I really believe it. I really believe that we we we can we have to use. This organization to improve the lives of people, starting with our employees.

Manya Chylinski 23:51

Yeah, absolutely. Well, Daniel, we are very close to the end of our time. So thank you so much. This has been such a great conversation. And before we go, can you please um tell our listeners a little bit more about yourself, what you do, and how they can reach you?

Daniel Tataje 24:08

Yeah, sure. My name is Dr. Daniel Tataje, and I'm the founder, owner, and CEO of Mercy Dental Group. I'm also an author. And um, I wrote uh one book. I'm writing a second book. My is uh my first book is about leadership, and it's called The Leader Humanity Needs. And is um and the leader humanity needs is actually the reader, right? So it's in I want to encourage people to understand their their power, their position of influence that they can have and their unique position they have, right? So, and how tell them how to develop this leadership traits to become that leader humanity needs. The leader that the world needs your leadership. And um, yeah, so people can also um know uh learn more about me, and my website is www.danieltataje.com is d-a-n-i-e-l, t-a-t-a-j-e.com.

Manya Chylinski 25:09

Wonderful. Daniel, thank you so much. I'll put links in the show notes to make it easier for folks to reach you. And just again, thank you so much for joining me today.

Daniel Tataje 25:18

No, thank you for having me, Spee. It's been a pleasure.

Manya Chylinski 25:22

And thank you to our listeners for joining this episode. We will catch you the next time.