If Your Husband Has Turned Into Your Child 03 - You Are Addicted To Correcting Men

IF YOUR HUSBAND HAS TURNED INTO YOUR CHILD 03 - YOU ARE ADDICTED TO CORRECTING MEN

Corrections go down the hierarchy.  Parents are supposed to correct their children.  Teachers are supposed to correct their students.

When you pay someone to take you yoga, you graciously receive their corrections.

When you pay someone to teach you French Cooking, you receive their adjustments and suggestions.

Corrections go down the hierarchy.

When a woman corrects her man, she places herself higher in the hierarchy than her man.  This ends up making her STERN MOMMY!

The only men who are going to be drawn to stern mommy are underdeveloped men who are still trying to work out the approval issues with their actual mothers.

Men who are embodied, men who actually want to lead in their relationships with women are not interested in Stern Mommy.  

The addiction in the Modern Woman towards giving corrections to men seems to be such a compulsion, that I am not sure how many women can receive this message.

— Om Rupani

www.OmRupani.org

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:02

This is video number three in the series. If your husband has become your child, if your husband has become your child, the reason for it might be that you as a woman are addicted to correcting men. And at this point, this actually feels like an addiction. It feels like a possession. It is insane to me. The grasping, the energy, the quantity and quality of emotion behind women wanting to correct men. Okay. Let's talk about the more basic structures first. Corrections go down the hierarchy. If you are a mother and if you have young children, you are higher in the hierarchy than your children. You are supposed to correct them. You are supposed to show them how to be good people, how to be kind, how to reciprocate. When you see them behaving in a way that is unfriendly, hurtful, you are supposed to correct them. Corrections go down the hierarchy. Teachers are supposed to correct students. It's the whole point of seeking a teacher. It is the whole point of seeking a mentor. It is the whole point of going to a yoga class and paying for a yoga instructor, of going to a martial arts class, paying the martial art instructor. They are there to correct your mistakes. They are there to adjust you. Through their adjustments, through their corrections, you get better. That's what you're paying them for. It's absolutely good. It's absolutely correct. There's absolutely nothing wrong with giving corrections and receiving corrections. That's how we learn. Parents teach their children, teachers teach their students, so on and so forth. Corrections go down the hierarchy. You see where I'm going with this. And if the man is eager to take your corrections, if he wants to take your corrections, if he does take your corrections, you are now higher in the hierarchy than the man, and the man is lower in the hierarchy than you. You have become mommy.

SPEAKER_00 3:18

He's become your little boy.

SPEAKER_01 3:32

This is a hard one. The listening around this is so small. It is um it's heartbreaking almost. I think women today are not doing that great in their connections with men. I don't think they are succeeding very much. I see a deep longing and yearning in women for that partnership, the kind of partnerships they dream of in romance novels and great television shows like Outlander. Strong men, men of courage, men of valor, men of leadership, men who would cross the oceans to protect their women, men who would face dangers for their women. You want this for you, I want this for you. This is what I want to help create for people. And yet there are certain freight trains moving in our culture which seem almost impossible to stop. And my God, the energy behind women wanting to tell men how they should be. The energy behind women wanting to tell men all the ways they are wrong.

SPEAKER_00 5:29

What's the expression? A team of horses couldn't stop it.

SPEAKER_01 5:34

Or it would take a team of horses. I don't know what it would take. I myself am like almost feeling disheartened. Feel a little bit pointless. I don't know whether this work is landing on anybody at all. The listening on it seems to be so closed. The aperture. I swear to God, if if we offered so many women on a platter, here is the man of your dreams, you can have him, but you can never ever disrespect or criticize another man again. I don't know how many women would even take that deal. To give up criticizing men, to give up lamenting, to give up cutting down men, to give up correcting men. I think that's the bigger orgasm for the modern women. I think it's the bigger get-off. I think the modern woman's ego lives on that energy. I think you want that indignation more than you want a happy relationship. Many of you. And you're in a bind. You're in a bind. It's so tragic because theoretically you are seeking something that can never come true. If you criticize women, men, if you are disrespectful towards men, if you want to constantly offer corrections to men, the only men you will draw to yourself are men who are looking for strong mommy. You women are so big on manifesting. I am laying out your magic for you. If you are this invested in spending the rest of your life correcting men, you have put yourself higher in the hierarchy than the man. And the only man that will show up for you is a man who wants to be lower in the hierarchy than you. That man doesn't want to lead you, that man wants you to lead him. He wants you to be the stern mommy, he will take your lashings. He is still trying to get his first stern mommy to love him because with her, also, he was a boy. He was lower in the hierarchy than her. Right? And that mother probably never let this boy turn into a man. She never stopped correcting him. She never stopped. Never stopped. You know how ugly it is when a mother is correcting and cutting down her thirty-year-old son, her forty-year-old son, her fifty-year-old son, telling him how to do the smallest thing. That's not how you do it. You never do it right. It is ugly, it is disgusting. That's what you're setting yourself up for, to be that mommy at your age, obsessively wanting to give men corrections. Because you think it is on your brave shoulders as the feminists of the 21st century to fix the men of the world. You with your bitching and whining and unending complaining are going to set the men right. You are gonna do it for us. Yes, you are the one we have been waiting for, mommy. You are gonna set the men of the world straight so they can finally become the kind of men you're dreaming about. It's your job to fix all the men of the world. How can you possibly stop handing out corrections to men? How can you possibly stop spewing disrespect because they don't deserve your disrespect? Of course, you're gonna give them your disrespect. I have never seen such an addiction to failure and misery as I see in today's women. With the energies they are running with the masculine. You are on a losing streak and going full speed ahead. Whatever you have done has won you no success with men. You're whining, you're complaining, you're disrespect, you're correcting, you're correcting, you're correcting, you're correcting. Your field is empty. Men are leaving, they're not calling back, they're not coming back, they're not committing to you. And your response is obviously they need more corrections from me. Obviously, I need to disrespect them some more so it'll get through their stupid skulls. They are so stupid, these men. Someday they're gonna get it, and it is your noble purpose to keep correcting men and keep disrespecting them till they get it right. Yeah, that's your noble job. How can you how can you possibly give this up? Your noble calling to fix the men of the world. How can you possibly give this up? You you don't, you won't. Most of you, I don't think you will, truly. I think I think addiction is a minor word for it. Compulsion, obsession, like a mania. It seems like a mania. The desire to tell men how they are wrong, how much they are not showing up, how much they deserve your contempt and disrespect, how much they are responsible for your unhappiness. Alright. I don't even know who I'm making this for at this point. Maybe 3% of the population who may hear it, whoever hears it, 2 to 3%, 5% ought to be happy. I don't know what what the percentage is of who is actually gonna get this through their fucking skulls. It is not your job to fix men. It is not a particularly pleasant calling to spend the rest of your life spewing disrespect towards men who you think deserve your disrespect. That's like saying, I'm gonna spend the rest of my life looking at shit. I'm gonna go around hour by hour finding piles of shit and looking at it, and that's what I'm gonna do for the rest of my life. Because there is so much shit in the world and it needs to be looked at, and it is my job to look at all the shit. I'm gonna look at all the shit. I'm gonna find every man who doesn't deserve my respect and tell him you don't deserve my respect and insult him a few times because that's a good way to live. That's a mission to have in life. Yeah, make that your mission. Great, the shit watchers, you are the great shit watchers of the 21st century. Go for it. I don't yeah, I don't really. I mean, I don't know. Are you gonna get sick of it one day? You don't seem to have been so far. I talk to women of all ages, and wow, the momentum, the force is strong. The contempt, the desire to find men wrong, the desire to tell men how they are not enough, how they are failing, how they are insufficient. Something that has a zero success rate at creating anything beautiful in your life. I mean truly it's mind-boggling. Could I could I could I convince you to do this little experiment? Could I convince you to sit in five minutes of quiet and try and think of examples where disrespecting a man ended well where disrespecting a man ended in you being cherished and you feeling adored and your man coming into romance with you? Can you can you find an example where you spewing contempt and dissatisfaction at men led to good things? Has this ever worked for you? Has this brought any results even when I try to clarify or give a solution, it's like it truly is like trying to take the needle away from the junkie. Women will continue to create straw men to fight. They will say, Oh, you want us to respect all men. I'm like, no, actually, that's not what I'm saying at all. I don't respect all men, I don't respect all human beings. Respect has to be earned. I'm like, I agree with you. Listen, I agree with you. Hey, I agree with you. Respect does need to be earned. So here is my invitation to you. Only associate with men you respect. Hey, just find a few men who genuinely evoke your respect. Men you don't feel inclined to give corrections to. God forbid, men you admire so much, you may be willing to take their corrections. You may actually be willing to think they have something to contribute to you, that they are wise, they're knowledgeable. Find those men. I will say this to women, and it's like they will insist, no, that's not what you really mean. What you really mean is all women should respect all men. I'm like, no, no, no, I just said, I said, no, no, no, I just said, no, no, no. Find a few men you can respect, find the few men who do evoke your respect, and then spend your time, spend your energy, spend your focus instead of looking at piles of shit, look at one, two, or three or five men in your life who evoke your respect. Isn't that better? Looking at men who evoke your respect compared to looking at piles of shit. I think it's a better life. And I swear to God, I think at least 90% of them can't even hear me. No, I think the addiction to correcting men. At this point, it seems the contempt towards the masculine is the drug. And it is heartbreaking, it's tragic, it is insane, it's ugly. Say what you will of men, as much as you criticize them, cut them down. We have never gone this insane regarding women. We have never gone this batshit crazy, negative towards women ever. We are still crazy about you. We are just tired of you shit watchers. We are tired of you treating us like piles of shit, and we're just saying, no, thank you. I'm gonna go over here. We haven't we haven't had this lobotomy that the postmodern feminist women have had towards the masculine. Is it working for you? Nothing good is gonna come out of this obsession, this compulsion to correct men. You are never ever. I mean, even if you could give it up, the only men you're going to attract are the men you don't want to be with, the men you actually do hold in contempt. You will call them weak, you will call them mama's boys. They are mama's boys, they are looking for stern mommy. They are the men who did not individuate from their mother, and when they encounter a stern, scolding, disapproving woman, the immature man in them is still trying to complete his mommy journey, and he says, Oh, here she is again. I know this energy, I know the energy of the disapproving mommy, I know the energy of the woman who is never satisfied, who never thinks I'm doing anything right. The men you may actually find attractive, the men who actually are the characters in your romance novels, in your romance TV shows are men of self respect. They are men of accomplishment. At least in the fantasy version, you do realize those men don't take shit from anybody. You're not going to attract those men. And when those men either don't respond to you at all, or if they respond to you initially, and they encounter your negative energy and they say no thank you. And hell hath no fury, like a woman scorned. You feel rejected. You feel diminished. You feel humiliated. Why? Because your radiance has turned weak. You have lost your power. You don't seem to have the power anymore to attract the kind of man you're actually attracted to. The man you're attracted to doesn't seem interested in you. And that does what fuels your rage. Fuels your rage. A small percentage of you may think, huh? I wonder whether it's something I'm doing. Why am I not attracting the kind of men I want? This is what I want from my students. If you want to be my student, and you can come in and say, Oh, not having much success attracting the kind of men I want. And I really want to know why. And I really want to adjust. I'm like, come in. I have a few suggestions for you. I can try and explain to you. I can try and explain to you what the kind of man you're looking for is looking for in a woman. You have received a lot of bad programming over the last 60 years as women. You think as you are, however you are, you deserve the kind of man you want. Once again, Lala Land, your failure rate here is staggering. And yet your ability to adjust, to pivot, to self-reflect is nearly negligible. Right. You know, let me give you the competitive perspective on this. Right? Believe it or not, I am actually your friend, you women. I actually want to help you have the relationship of your dreams. Believe it or not, I actually know what you can do to attract those men that you're attracted to. But you're not coachable. You're more interested in arguing and fighting and then correcting me. Right? You want to be my mommy too. You want to correct me as well in the same pile. Okay. That can be your pastime. Let's say the five percent of you who do listen, you hold, you will hold the keys to the kingdom. You can sweep up the men. Truly. It truly is the equivalent of holding up a treasure map for a hundred people and saying, Hey, there is enough treasure here, truly, to make all hundred of you rich. I have a map, truly. Come come find out. And 95 out of the hundred say, Go fuck yourself. You're lying, blah blah blah. I'm like, okay. And five percent say, I'll I'll give it a try. Yeah, the five out of the hundred, you're gonna inherit the whole treasure. You're gonna have your pick as much as you can carry out. Yeah. So truly, the women out there who are interested and receptive to actually hearing this, you are so ahead of the curve. You'll you got no competition. It's like 95% of the people in the marathon refuse to run. They're like, fuck you, we're not running. You're like, oh, this makes it easy. I get to place place higher. Truly. Race is yours, field is yours. Because most of the women simply are deaf to what they need to hear these days. I'll repeat it one more time anyway, because that's my job. That's what I do. Give up this great mission that you are here to fix the man of the world. It's not your job. Who gave you this burden? This burden, right? This is this is seven years of therapy wrapped up in one podcast. This burden is a result of your humiliation. You have been humiliated by your failure at evoking the interest of the men whose interest you want to evoke. You have been humiliated by not being able to inspire the man you want to chase you, to cherish you. And the rest is just a flared up defensive response. Now you're just flailing and thrashing and attacking to cover up your humiliation. Your failure, because your failure is staggering and categorical. And now you think the way you're gonna cover up this humiliation and failure is to go on a rampage of correcting men, because obviously you can't be at fault for your humiliation. The men must be. All men must be wrong, otherwise you would have had the partnership you already wanted. So now the only honorable thing for you to do is to spend the rest of your life correcting men. No, you have failed with men. You have failed. The men are not wrong. You just didn't have what the men wanted. I know, I know how big feminine pride is. Nobody wants to hear it. See, this is also one place where the men are ahead of the women. Because we don't think that much of ourselves. Oh my god, if a woman rejects us, if a woman's like, you're not my type, you're too fat, you're too short, you don't make enough money, your dick's not big enough, we're like, that's fair. I am fat, I'm only medium tall, my dick's only five inches. Okay, thank you for your time. Bye. We actually don't make you wrong. We really don't go on a rampage that all women are bitches, believe it or not. We really don't. We like she's pretty hot. She can, I'm sure she can do better. Well, I shot my shot. I'm glad I tried. Thank you, miss. Nice, have a nice day. Really, we don't. I mean, we may be a little sad. We don't take it personally. We actually don't generalize that all the women of the world are bitches. We don't go on a rant saying all the women of the world needs to change. That isn't this rant. That isn't this rant. This rant is about actually helping women get what they want from men. This is something that I actually know about because I'm a man. You think the other part is you can say I have no authority in coaching. I have no authority. You can say I have no authority in coaching men what women want because I'm not a woman. That's at least a valid argument. I have absolute authority in coaching women on what men want. I'm a straight man. I've been with the same woman 37 years, been through ups and downs of all kinds. In that relationship, I speak and teach from experience. I give out the medicine I've taken myself. I can actually help you women win with men. I know men, I know men's hearts, I have one, I know men's spirits, I have one. I know what women's disrespect does to a man's soul.

SPEAKER_00 32:21

This is not hypothetical for me.

SPEAKER_01 32:29

So you may have failed with men, and now you're on a rampage to cover up your humiliation. This is why I think everybody should really do a little BDSM play. My god, truly, I mean, do a dozen humiliation scenes. People ask me, how can I tolerate the amount of shit I get when I post things? I'm like, if you don't have the stomach for public humiliation, don't step into the public square. This humiliation is nothing. Expect more. Lap it up. Big deal. Do all our degradation scene. Do a few scenes where your dom turns you into nothing, where they turn you into garbage, where they pour garbage on top of your head, where they lock you in a closet and leave you there for eight minutes on your own piss. Where they make you say over and over for three hours, I am nothing. Truly. Degrade yourself to the end. Public humiliation in social media will be a cakewalk after that. Man, you women are really sensitive to being humiliated by men. You're so proud. You're so goddamn fragile, you're so goddamn brittle. It's not doing you any good. Admit your humiliation, admit your failure, admit you're getting old, admit your radiance is not that hot anymore. Admit you don't attract the kind of men you would like to attract. Face life. That's where the power is. And once you have gotten your head out of your own ass, look around and say, Hey, the men I'm trying to attract. What is he looking for? I can help you there. You have to want it. You have to want it. And I can guarantee you the kind of men you're trying to attract. What he is not looking for is stern mummy. What he's not looking for is a daily barrage of corrections. What he's not looking for is disrespect and contempt from his woman. You're not helping yourselves any. You're really not helping yourselves any.

SPEAKER_00 35:08

See if that lands on anybody.