My Next Couples' Course & The State Of Man-Woman Relating Today

MY NEXT COUPLES’ COURSE & THE STATE OF MAN-WOMAN RELATING TODAY

COURSE PAGE : https://omrupani.org/#/dscouples/

www.OmRupani.org

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:02

Hello everybody. I am just back from Europe. I taught my couple's course for the first time in Austria. I think it went really well. I'm here to announce and plug the next run of my course. Those of you who've been asking, the next run of my course is going to be in the Dominican Republic in November 12th through 7th. It's for couples only. You have to register together. It is specifically this course for couples who clearly know that they want the man to be in the leadership position in their dynamic, and they want the women to be in a gracious, submissive followership dynamic. The course is specifically designed for those people. Even saying that, even for me, feels chargy because I know how many people even that proposition rubs the wrong way. I have room for 20 couples in this particular venue in the Dominican Republic. This is the first time I'm talking about this particular date, and I already have two couples signed up. They've been asking me because they wanted to come to Austria. So I know there are enough people already who know we want this for ourselves. And there's a part of me that is like, I just keep it simple. Keep staying your own sandbox. I've always been truly happy with, as they say, what's the expression, preaching to my choir. That's supposed to be a negative thing. Like, if you're only preaching to your choir, your message must not be big enough that you don't want to preach to the people who disagree with you. But I've always felt I wish actually social media could actually weed out the people who are going to hate my message. I don't see any particular advantage in stirring people up. Uh particularly, I actually don't like to do it deliberately, it just creates negativity. So I'm like, let me just get the message out to people who are interested in this kind of work. Let me actually just sing to my choir, preach to my choir, take those people's money, hopefully deliver a good course, make a modest living, and just that's about it. That would be good enough. And in the end, it may just end up being just that. And yet uh the more I sit with it, the more I take in everything that is going on in the man-women field in our world today. Uh it feels really heartbreaking. It feels things are not in a very good place between men and women. And they're not in a good place at so many levels. So I'm like, okay, the people who already know they want this from me. They can come to me. Hopefully, I'll deliver a good course to them. I'll give them some templates for what they might create with each other, how they might create a more functional, more loving, more uh reciprocal, a warmer relationship with each other, contribute to each other. And when I see that happening, you know, actually my job satisfaction rate is pretty high. I feel really good. And then it doesn't always happen. Even this in this course of 20, not it wasn't a 20 out of 20 success rate. This work is very chargy. People's shadow shadows come out, people's beliefs come out, they are their ingrained habits come out and they are challenged. So it's not actually an easy course or an easy conversation. So I almost want to give you that disclaimer up front. I did uh four of the couples were good enough to give me video testimonials uh right after the end of our course, and I'm gonna assemble those videos and post them. And I think pretty much all four of them. I asked all four of them the same questions, the same few questions, and I asked all of them uh if they had a message for other people who might be considering doing my workshop or doing this kind of work with me. I think pretty much all four of them said this is not for everybody. They were honest enough to say this could really burn your ass. This is not for everybody. Make sure you are sure that this is for you. It's not easy to get into this conversation. And I'm actually glad they said that. I myself, when I partly joke with my students that I try to be as much of an abrasive asshole as possible on social media so people will self-select. And if they hate me, it's better if they hate me on social media and don't pay me money and come to my classes and then ask for a refund. Uh actually is a good self-selection process. Even then, this work is chargy, it's difficult, it holds up a mirror to people. It shows men where they are weak, it shows men where they are not showing up for their women, it shows men where they're inconsistent, it shows men where they are living in denial, and it shows women a lot of their ugliness, it shows women a lot of their shadow about that they actually do hate and resentment quite a bit, that they are holding a lot of boatload of negative energies towards the masculine, that they as much as they are craving surrendering to masculine power, they absolutely hate and resent masculine power. So this is not an easy ride. Parts of you are struggling against yourself. One part of you wants to surrender, three parts of you wants to set the man's throat, one part of you wants strong masculinity, and two parts of you absolutely fucking loathe strong masculinity. You resent the shit out of it. And you haven't faced these parts of yourself. You haven't faced all your negative energies running towards the masculine in all the ways you are hellbent on infantilizing them, sabotaging them, making them smaller, making them doubt themselves. How much of your feminine power is actually right now pointed against masculine embodiment and masculine power? And what a what a convoluted head fuck this is for all you modern women. That at one level you loathe weak men, at another level you're doing everything in your power to turn the men you are with weak. Every fucking which way you can find your sabotaging masculine power and embodiment. Test after test. And the fact that when you do encounter that masculine embodiment that says, Sweetie, if you keep this up, you can go fuck yourself. You lose your shit. You're actually you actually don't know how to be with that man. You have no fucking ability to be that man, even though you're craving it, you resent weak men and you can't stand strong men. This is why you're in such a bind. And then what are men supposed to do with this? Even the men who come into their embodiment, even the men who come into their power and their consistency and their honor and their integrity. Because those men are not received with open arms. You will resent the shit out of their integrity, out of their embodiment. You will do your best to corrupt it. It's a very strange game we are playing. The gods must be very amused. So from the sound of it, like I'm doing everything I can to keep you away from my course, but maybe that's the conversation that needs to be had. This is not an easy journey, and maybe this is why we are in the shitter right now, and man-women relating. Our shadows are so fucking thick. I don't know who's gonna come to save us. We're not doing it. You know, I'm seeing uh powerful women after powerful women, women I admire, women who are teachers in the world, women who are who have a lot of virtues, who have a lot of street cred, and I see them in the same muck regarding their energies towards the masculine. The same ball blush bursting, the same ball slicing, the same emasculating energies, and these are the mentors of women out there. I don't want to call them out, not by name. And yet part of me is like, well, what is your role in all this? What is your part in all this? Because here's the thing this is this this may sound like an ego-moniacal thing to say, but it isn't. I believe it's simply a modest and true admission. I actually believe I have something real real to offer in this field. I actually believe I know how to create functionality and sweetness between men and women. I actually have a template for how men and women can do this whole thing better with each other. How they can really thrive with each other. I feel I have struggled and struggled to create this in my own life. This has been the core passion of mine. This has been the one area where God has sent me down with my brain and my abilities to say, go figure this out. I've been teaching BDSM and sensuality for 15 years, but teaching man-woman relating is my bigger passion, and I feel I'm just getting around to it. To me, even teaching the erotic pieces, they are a subset of good man-women relating. In my model, even men learning to handle their women's eras is simply one dimension of their provisioning, it is men's erotic provisioning of their women, parallel to their financial provisioning of their women. It's an important dimension, it's not the only one. So at one level, I'm like, you know what, just get the word about your course out. Let them see your course description, those who are a good fit for it will come, and hopefully, at least 18 out of the 20 couples will get something out of it. Maybe two of them will blow out. So it goes. They've been warned. By the way, I don't even guarantee results. Really. Two or three couples out of twenty may indeed end up divorced by the time I'm done with you. You've been warned. And there are no refunds once the course starts. I don't know what it is. It's a cosmic joke why this has become so incredibly hard. I believe within one week of my training, it's been my passion to like distill ideas, crystallize them so that I can present them in a way that is understandable, digestible, so that it can be taught. And I believe I've done that with man-woman relating, and I feel it's a great accomplishment. I felt I was at least clear in offering my students a template, and they got it. They're like, Yeah, we see it. And I think there is enough uh good suggestions and models in there that it can help you improve your relationship. I'm not, as I tell my students on the first day, I'm not a perfectionist, I'm not trying to create a perfect man-woman relationship. If I can improve your dynamic by 10% in one week of my training, I feel I've done my job. So part of me have been wanting to make this video since this morning, and I'm like, I should just plug my plug the next states of my course. People are already interested. I'll probably sign up. I'll f I'll fill up my 20 20 couples and that's that. Deliver that course, move on. And then there's another part of me that feels feels incomplete with that, feels like there is a lot that more needs to be said, but I'm not quite sure how good the listening is for any of this. There is so much noise. The level of noise around man-women relating is so incredibly high. It truly is like trying to search for a flower in a garbage dump. It feels like dumpster diving. The amount of bullshit and resentment and bad ideas around relationship is so huge that I'm like, what's even the point? Uh, who's even gonna hear it? What are they gonna care? Like the signal-to-noise ratio is so low. So many people are saying so many things about man-woman relating these days that I'm like, I don't think people would recognize the really good suggestion if it came and sat on their face. And yet, what else are we gonna do? I had one very basic wide angle perspective I wanted to share. I think I've shared this basic idea in other podcasts. And it's this that uh at one level I think we are being fucked and destroyed by our our passion and our obsession with individuality. The individual, the individual expression, me, the precious snowflake, my expression, my precious unique expression. I am so fucking unique that I'm going to do my unique self, and that's my prerogative, that's my soul's expression. This is who I am, so special as a man, as a woman. At one level you are. It's a free country, it's a free world. You can believe whatever you want, and as long as hopefully you're not harming anybody, you can embody your being, your expression, your idea of a man, your idea of a woman. Any way you want. You can even say there is no such thing as a man, there is no such thing as a woman, you do you truly believe whatever you want, and say, This is me. I'm gonna do me. There are no genders. If there are genders, both the genders are the same, the genders are a construct. A man is a man, a woman is a woman, a woman is a man, a man is a woman, a man can get pregnant, men can menstruate. Okay, all you do you, whatever you want. Obviously, uh you're free to believe anything, to present yourself as anything, to embody any belief. To express your masculinity, your femininity, any way you want or don't want. There you have total freedom. It's a free country. I don't I also I personally don't really give a shit either. I have absolutely no uh recommendations for you. I don't really care. I'm truly a truly a libertarian at my heart. I practice BDSM. BDSM people are particularly good at saying as long as it's between consenting adults, we don't really care if you cut each other with razor blades. We don't really give a shit. You're a free human being, do whatever you want, do whatever gets you off. I I've been in demos where people stick hooks in their backs and suspend themselves in ecstasy. It's a good show. Completely at liberty to do so. I actually commend their liberty. I'm not saying that sarcastically. I'm like you truly you do you, it's your body, it's your life. Live it any way you want. You truly are free. I believe in that freedom, personal freedom. If you're not hurting anybody, you're golden, and if you're hurting yourself, even that I think is a healthy ethical debate to have. Do people have a right to even hurt themselves? You have a kink for chopping off your genitals or your arm. It's your genital, it's your arms, go for it. I don't know. It's at least worth a debate to say whether we should let adults do whatever they want with their own body. I don't really care. The caveat that comes after that is the key point of this conversation, which is you can do you any way you want. It doesn't mean anybody else has to go along with it. It doesn't mean anybody else has to partner with you, anybody else has to find you attractive, anybody else has to want to uh enter into a bond with you. It doesn't mean anybody else has to find what you are doing nourishing for them. So if all you're interested in is personal expression, if all you're interested in is I'm a woman, hear me roar, I'm gonna do what I want to do. It truly is amazing, especially on the part of women, just how ugly things have gotten on what is being accepted as women's right to express themselves. I am truly shocked and disgusted just watching videos on YouTube of panels of women. Women like these are these are popular podcasts. These are really popular podcasts where women come and say, I fucking hate men. Men are disgusting. This is all the reasons I hate men, and I'm like, wow, I'm not even censoring their right to say so, but I'm like, I'm I am kind of observing the hypocrisy of if a even in today's climate, if a man were to come on and say, I hate women, these are all the reasons, I'm sure he would get banned. He would get kicked off of Facebook and YouTube. The amount of liberty and license women have to talk shit about men these days. Literally, like no no hesitation. It's like it's being rewarded. They know it's going to going to be rewarded. Dear Miss Andre, absolute ugliness towards men. Even that, I'm actually for I would, I would, I would not be for censorship on either part. I would say all people should have the right to say whatever you want. But it is, it is interesting to observe that in today's climate, if men were to come on and say such nasty things about women, I'm sure they would get deplatformed. Women don't. Be that as it may, again, even that, I'm like, it's your prerogative. You want to hate men, you want to come on, you want to create an entire podcast spewing this ugliness, putting it on Facebook completely, you're right. But the retardedness of your full free soul expression, your entitlement comes in when you think on top of that, men should want you, men should want to put their attention on you, men should want to provision for you. And I would say the same. Same thing on the men's side. If men were saying ugly things about women, and this is again, this shows up on the men's side, less so in the toxic masculine manosphere. It shows up in spades with the nice guy phenomenon. The nice guy is usually filled with entitled rage. And his premise is why am I not being rewarded by my niceness with feminine desire? And I would tell him the same thing. You have the right to make yourself any way you want, but if however you have made yourself as a man is not evoking and inspiring desire in women, that's on you, it's not on them. Women don't owe you their desire, women don't owe you their longing, women don't owe you to be attracted to you because you are allegedly a nice guy. And again, on the same same thing on the parts of women, like you can absolutely do you in any way you want. But then why are you why are you in God's name lamenting that you don't have the partnerships you want with men, that men are not giving you any more attention, that men are not interested in paying for your date or provisioning for you in any way? The failure rate, the frustration rate is so high. And then part of me is like, why are you surprised? It seems absurd. Why should you be so surprised that given your attitude, you're not getting what you want out of men or women? So my basic sensible offer, if anybody is listening, in that category of people, the listening in that category of people is very tiny. So those who have already heard the message, those who already want a harmonious functional relationship between men and women, where the man is in the leadership position. Please come to my course. I feel I can help you. For the rest of you who are thinking I'm just gonna do me any way I want, if there is any listening left in you, this is all I have to say to you is that partnership is an art form. Partnership is about two people, partnership is about two people giving each other what they want. Partnership is about two people being useful to each other. So if however you have made yourself as a woman is not getting you any results with men, is because you're a lousy partner. However, you have made yourself, you have made yourself into a shitty partner to men. That's why you're failing. I'm here to give you that good news that your misery, your failure is not random, it is not fate, it is not that all men are rotten. Men I actually I think are doing better than women these days. Men are good. A lot of them are pulling away from dating and the bullshit of dating apps. But I also see men being productive. More and more men, at least in my circle, in my classes, in my coaching, they're focusing on work, they are going to the gym, they are being productive, they're enjoying their peace. They are actually living lives that are making them even more attractive to women who see them. So I don't believe men have gone rotten. I don't believe men hate women, I don't believe there is any conspiracy on the part of women to part of men to be against women. I don't see any such negativity. They're just tired of being mistreated, of being dicked around, of really not of being disrespected. And they're just taking a step back and they're saying, um, not really getting much for what I have to offer somebody. They're just stepping back from the deal. It's like going to the going to the market and truly taking a look around and saying, no, no, thank you. There is money in my wallet, and I even want to buy, and yet there's nothing here that uh I want to give my money away for in exchange. There are plenty of good men out there. On the women's part, I see a lot of shadow, I see a lot of humiliation. Women hate hearing this. Women hate being pointed out that you women are terribly humiliated these days. You know, I'm an expert in humiliation and degradation and psychological play. I'm a Dom. It is not, it is a dead giveaway how humiliated you women are. Your defensiveness, your aggressiveness, your ugliness towards men. These are all responses of women who are humiliated that they are failing miserably with men. All your ugliness and your bile and your rancor towards men indicates deep humiliation. You are failing miserably at procuring men's provisioning. And on top of the men's provisioning is their attention. The men you are most attracted to, the one you are most attracted to, a lot of them are not even interested in putting their attention on you, and that is the first thing that burns your ass. That is the first thing that discombobulates you because you know without that you have no power. And that is humiliating to a woman. I can't even turn this man's attention towards me. You rage. It is already a woman scorned. How dare he! You know why, sweetie? You're not that interesting to put attention on. Yeah, that's why you're humiliated because you know it. You know it's a failure. Because those men have not categorically stopped putting attention on women, they are just not putting attention on you. You are not succeeding in pulling those men's attention. Your radiance is not strong enough to draw that man's attention, and you at your core know that is a deep failure on your part, and you panic. Your entire power with men comes under question when you can't even pull their attention towards you. And beyond that, you are failing miserably at having those men pour their provisioning on you. Whether that's on a first date, whether it's paying for the check, whether it's taking to a better restaurant compared to a coffee date. Men are saying, I don't know if you're worth it yet. It's not that their wallets are empty or that they are cheap. They just have not decided you are worth their money yet. And that burns your ass. You are not succeeding at procuring their provisioning. You're failing, and that's why you're humiliated, and that's why you're ranting. That men suck, men are poor, men are cheap, men are broke, all the other bullshit. You're giving yourself away. Men are sitting here back quietly watching the show because we know what that energy is. We know what a woman looks like when she is in her ease, when she knows she's winning with men, when she knows she has enough charm, enough grace, enough radiance that multiple men want her, that men are climbing over each other to get to you, to make you offers, to take you out. We know what that woman looks like, and we also know what the miserable, unhappy bunch of you look like making YouTube videos and coming on Facebook and making your post ranting about how much men suck. All you're admitting is I am failing at procuring men's attention, I am failing at procuring men's provisioning. Here's the good news, here's my pitch to you. I can help you in this area. I know what men want, I know why you're failing. Partly you're failing because you think I'm gonna do me as I'm gonna do me, and you're gonna love me and pursue me. No, they're not. Men don't give a shit anymore about all you want to do and all you want to be. Go be what you want to be. You're not gonna be that on their time. You're not gonna waste their time, they're not even gonna waste their time watching you do you. Go do that someplace else. We don't give a shit. We are better at being alone than you are. Yeah. This is uh this is a war you're gonna lose with men. You really want to go on strike and separate men from women. Men can last without you longer than you can last without them. This is not what I advocate, but it is where we are headed. Total strike against each other. This is how ugly and how negative the feelings have gotten between men and women. My offer to you is really there is another way, much better way. And for the love of God, it is not that complicated. It really isn't rocket science. Its premise is very simple. Men and women are different. There is such a thing as masculine nature, there is such a thing as feminine nature. We do need each other. There are nutrients, you can use that word. We have nutrients for each other. There are things a man can bring to a woman that a woman can't have without a man, and there are things a woman can bring to a man that a man cannot create on his own, and isn't that wonderful? It it till yesterday we understood this as the as the core ingredient in romance. Of course we need each other. Of course we want each other, of course there are things we can't do without each other. When did this become such a difficult concept to digest? And then the art of relationship is to bring each other those nutrients to contribute to each other, to be deeply interested in each other. And that is the art form of relating. That is the art form of the man-woman game. A man should ask himself, How can I contribute to this woman? How can I bring value to her life so that she will want to be close to me? How can I provision for her so that my provisioning is valuable to her and is received? And similarly, a woman should ask how she may enchant a man, how she may contribute to a man, how she may be as a woman, that the man feels uh smitten with her, that a man adores her, that the man is inspired to provision for her more, that the man wants to get closer to her. That's the whole game. Let's seduce each other, let's be useful to each other. Let's give each other what the other wants. Let women give to men. Only that which women can give to men, and let men contribute to women. Which is better if men give to women than if women try to do it on their own. We are meant to fit. When did this concept become so outdated that men and women are designed to fit? But if you throw away the whole model that there's no such thing as a man or a woman and that there's no difference, well then that does that model does become kind of obsolete. And again, it's your prerogative to live according to that model. Truly, is I don't I don't really care. My only question would be how how are things working out for you? Are you happy? Are you thriving? If you are, you're golden. You don't need to listen to me. But I see so much unhappiness, so much dysfunction. And such a bizarre adherence to bad ideas. I don't know if I've ever seen, I don't know, it it is the equivalent of some kind of a religious fervor. It is amazing. I think human beings, our greatest addiction is to ideas. Man, we when we latch on to a bad idea, it's like our world could burn down. And somebody could say, hey, it's your ideas. These bad ideas are burning your world down, and they're like, No, can't be. I'm not giving up my ideas. And it feels that way. Your man-woman relating is absolutely in the gutter right now. And you're just plowing forth with the same bad ideas. Your ideas can't possibly be wrong. Men must be wrong. All the men must be rotten. Your ideas towards man-woman relating, towards how a woman should be, they can't possibly be wrong. It's an easier, easier thing to digest that all the men, the four billion men on the world have gone wrong. It truly is astounding to watch this phenomenon. Yeah, I I my proposition is actually reality is complex, but it's not that complex if you just come into start coming into alignment with it. Women, if you just start understanding a little bit more how men are and what they want, same with same with men, if they can see women a bit more clearly and see a bit more clearly how they might contribute to them. Appeal to each other's self-interest. That's one of my core principles of relationships, that all relationships are based in self-interest, and that's a good thing. Self-interest, mutual self-interest, reciprocity, and win-win. Create a win-win together. These are very uh uh what's the word? Secular ideas, very practical ideas. There is no great ideology here, there is no traditionalism here, there is no religion or scripture. It's entirely practical. Two people contributing to each other, two people creating a win-win relationship. A man seeing how he might contribute to his woman, and a woman seeing how she might contribute to her man, and then making some effort to give each other what the other wants. That's a successful relationship. Sounds so simple. And yet people are stuck in their energies and hell-bent on diminishing and destroying their partners, making their partners smaller. And it's like there is the the disaster rate is one hundred percent. It's not like anybody ever wins in this bad model. It's not even like there's success some of the time, and that's why people are confused. Which is the astounding part. The failure rate is one hundred percent. And yet trying to wake people up from their bad ideas and bad ways of doing things in man-woman relating, it's like they will get mad at you for wanting to do it. Anyway, that's all I have for you today. So, my course, which is officially titled uh Dom Training for Men and Submissive Training for Their Women. Ooh. Five years ago, I don't know if I could even put out a course with a title like this. So heteronormative. Yeah, no shit. 95% of the world is straight people. And most women don't want to lead their men. Most women would prefer if their men made more money, most women would prefer if their men were good at containing them. It is the model most straight couples are craving. So if you have the clarity that that's what you want, come to my class and I think I can help you along a little bit. For the rest of you, I don't know, maybe the rest of this talk was useful to you, maybe not. We shall see. Alright, until next time.