Reverse, Reset, Restore
This is for all of us who have been wounded by our own (and others) judgements and expectations, who have listened to those inner voices and believed the lies we've sold ourselves and for those who truly want to love and honour who you were always meant to be. If you've struggled with self-acceptance, poor body image and a belief system that is no longer serving you (if it ever did!), then this podcast is your reminder that you're not alone and you can choose to make changes - from your health and wellbeing, to your thoughts and the way you move in the world.
Reverse, Reset, Restore
Foundation Friday: The Body Keeps The Score
Dr. van der Kolk's life's work offers groundbreaking perspectives that have revolutionized our approach to dealing with the aftereffects of trauma. By integrating personal accounts with Dr. van der Kolk's expertise, we embark on a journey to understand the complex interplay between mind and body. This conversation is not just about recognizing the signs of trauma but also embracing the possibilities of recovery through therapies such as EMDR and neurofeedback. Whether you're a healthcare provider, someone who's experienced trauma, or simply looking to deepen your empathy and knowledge, this episode serves as a compelling guide to the transformative power of self-awareness and the resilience found in seeking help and sharing our stories.
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Welcome to Foundation Fridays. This is an offshoot of Reverse Recept Restore Podcast, where we drop extra info on you on the last Friday of the month. This is the place where we talk about the books that are reshaping our thoughts and belief systems, teaching us and guiding us into a deeper knowing of ourselves. Think of it as the book club for the soul. I'm your host, sally, and I am creating whole new worlds for myself, one page at a time. We are about to kick off this Foundation Friday episode on the book the Body Keeps the Score, and I'm aware that it is a book with some tough topics. During our discussion today about this book and the work Dr Van De Kolk has been doing for decades, and talking about trauma, I want to acknowledge that it may stir up some uncomfortable thoughts or feelings in you. Just remember that it is okay to have those thoughts they're just a thought, they're not you and it's okay to feel the feeling. That's part of the reason we're here right To navigate our way through our feelings, even the uncomfortable ones, especially the uncomfortable ones. But we're doing this in a gentle and loving way. So take a break if you need to, and remember that you should always seek out the support of a trained therapist If you're feeling you need more tailored help on your road to self love and recovery. If this is your first time here especially to our Foundation Friday episodes a huge welcome. These monthly episodes are part book review and part personal reflection on the book and how it's impacted my life. I'm always so excited to hear from listeners on any of our topics, and particularly if you've also had a transformative experience from reading one of these books. So if this is one of those books that have challenged or changed you, I'd love to hear how I'll talk more about how you can get in touch at the end of the episode. Right now, acknowledge any trepidation you might have and let's pop it aside. I gotcha. What has happened cannot be undone, but what can be dealt with are the imprints of trauma on the body, mind and soul. This is from chapter 13, titled Healing Trauma owning yourself.
Speaker 1:It was only about two years ago, while I was in the session with my therapist, when she said something I had never voiced or really even considered for myself. I was talking about a couple of events in my life and how I felt that they might be impacting me in some ways, and particularly in my weight, and she said that's because what you experienced was trauma. It was like all the pieces of these life events suddenly clicked into place. You see, I was downplaying or discounting some of the things that had happened, because they weren't as bad as what so many others had experienced. Have you ever done this yourself? I think it's kind of typical of most of us. Right, you've minimized your trauma, you've minimized yourself, and we think we're doing the right thing, right? I kind of liken it to the old thing parents used to tell us as kids when we didn't want to eat our dinner there are starving kids in Africa, eat your food. And yeah, there are starving kids in Africa. And the way the world works, that's not going to change anytime soon, if ever. But force feeding, shaming or bullying kids into eating at least for a lot of us women created unhealthy relationships with our bodies, with food, with the way we see ourselves. So, yeah, I know I'm going a bit off topic, but my point is is that so often we try to minimize our own experiences because we are using comparisons of other people's worse or more tragic events. What other people's terrible experiences might be doesn't negate your own. Before we get into the nitty gritty of this book, let's talk a little bit about its author, and then we'll deep dive with my five key takeaways.
Speaker 1:Bessel van de Kolk entered the world on May 3, 1943, in the Hague, netherlands, amidst the turmoil of German occupation. His early life unfolded against a backdrop of trauma shaped by the Dutch famine and the presence of Holocaust survivors. Van de Kolk's father, a survivor of a Nazi labour camp, and the family's experiences during the war left an indelible mark on his upbringing. Raised in an environment marked by his mother's emotional distance or, as Van de Kolk himself describes, his mother as a cold and unhappy woman and his father's abusive tendencies, bessel's formative years were marred by trauma and mistreatment. During his teenage years, bessel embarked on travels across various European countries and even contemplated a life as a monk, after staying in a French monastery, opting instead for a career in medicine. He pursued his medical degree at the University of Amsterdam, graduating in 1969.
Speaker 1:Prior to obtaining his medical degree, van de Kolk engaged in pre-medical studies, with a focus on political science, at the University of Hawaii in 1965. He later earned his MD from the Pritzker School of Medicine at the University of Chicago in 1970. Following this, he completed his psychiatric training at the Massachusetts Mental Health Centre and he was offered medical school in 1974. It is no doubt that his early life challenges laid the foundation for his later pursuits in psychiatry and research, particularly his exploration of the profound effects of trauma on the brain, body and psyche. Van Dyckalk has held positions like the director of Boston State Hospital and a staff psychiatrist at the Boston Veterans Administration Outpatient Clinic. In 1982, he established the Trauma Center in Brooklyn, massachusetts, while serving as a junior faculty member at Harvard Medical School.
Speaker 1:Published in 2014, the Body Keeps the Score is a seminal work by Van Dyckalk, drawing on his experience in trauma and its impact on the human body and mind. The book delves into the intricate relationship between trauma, memory and the physical body, offering insights into how traumatic experiences shape our psychological well-being. Van Dyckalk is married, has two children and, while his adult life remains fairly private, he has consistently shared his personal journey with trauma, candidly discussing instances of childhood abuse and his personal ongoing therapeutic process In various interviews and public engagements. He emphasises the significance of recognising and confronting one's individual trauma as an essential component of the healing journey. According to his insights, this self-awareness forms a crucial foundation for effectively assisting others who have undergone traumatic experiences. Okay, my lovelies, on to the book.
Speaker 1:For me, one of the quotes in this book really stuck with me, and I think so many of us who are living under the umbrella of trauma don't fully understand the dynamics of its impact in our lives, including our physical, emotional and mental health. Trauma robs you of the feeling you are in charge of yourself. Trauma can strip away the sense of self-control, leaving us unaware of the burdens we carry. Often, these traumas are carefully tucked away in the recesses of our unconscious mind, far from our conscious acknowledgement. However, our bodies hold the imprint of these experiences, silently playing out the echoes of trauma in ways we may not fully comprehend. While we may have compartmentalised these wounds, our bodies remain aware, expressing the unspoken pain in mysterious ways. These manifestations, seemingly separate from the rest of our lives, can puzzle us. How can we unravel the complexities if we aren't even conscious of the trauma's dwelling within us? The pivotal shift occurs when we acknowledge that our bodies are dynamic archives, responding not only to our personal histories but also to the imprints of generational legacies. By recognising this interplay, we pave the way for a profound transformation in our relationship with our bodies, our minds and our holistic selves.
Speaker 1:If you've ever found disconnected or out of tune with your body, this book may offer you some answers as to why and how to reconnect to your body and recover from the trauma you may have experienced in your life, or even from that generational trauma. Here are the five key aspects of the book that I think are invaluable takeaways. Number one a holistic understanding of trauma. So the body keeps the score delves into the profound and often complex connections between trauma and the body. Vandekog explores how traumatic experiences can shape not only the mind but also have a lasting impact on the physical aspects of an individual. The book explains how trauma is stored in the body and can manifest in various forms, from chronic pain to disrupted emotional regulation. One point and aspect highlighted by Dr Vandekog is the intricate relationship between emotional wellbeing and physical health. He explores the idea that the body retains the imprints of trauma, influencing not just our mental states but also our bodily functions. As he states in the book, trauma affects the entire human organism. Mind and brain are inseparably linked.
Speaker 1:Now, just to bring some perspective, I've had over the years many discussions with my partner about my weight. It has been something that I have hated about myself for many years and I've always known that somehow it's been tied to the things that have happened to me and some of those experiences and I knew that if I could just kind of get through them and get beyond them then perhaps the weight would just fall away. And that is something that I still believe in and I'm still working through. But it was interesting because there's been a number of times during these conversations that we've had that my partner has said to me well, you know, I don't understand why, when this experience happened, just a heads up that I am going to be talking about asexual assault very briefly. So if that's not something for you, just move on to the next section. The show notes will give you the chapter that you can listen to next. To avoid this, I've been sexually assaulted multiple times in my life and we've talked about this my partner and I, quite consistently, for different reasons. He's very supportive and very understanding, but many times he has actually raised.
Speaker 1:Well, I don't understand why you couldn't, instead of putting on weight, why you didn't go to the gym and get strong and healthy, like most of us who put on weight because of trauma, don't realise that that's why we're doing it. You know it is our body keeping the score. Our body understands oh, I need to make sure that she's protected. I'm going to try to do something to help her out with that, and my body's response to these traumas in my life have been to add a protective layer or two to some parts of my body as a security thing. Has it worked? No, not necessarily, but on some level my body has decided that that's the way it can keep me safe. I didn't think, oh, I'm going to put on weight to make myself feel less attractive. My body did that for me because it's amazing. It's gone. Oh my gosh, I love Sally so much. I need to protect her, and so this is what I'm going to do. And so trying to explain that to someone who you know, and no judgment to my partner, because he is an amazing person. But if you haven't been through some of these experiences, it's hard to get your head around, and so it's easy for someone on the outside who's looking at someone who doesn't understand their trauma or can't identify with it and I'm so grateful he can't don't necessarily also see that the things that our body has done in response to that trauma, as a protective shield was not something that we consciously decided upon, no one would choose well, hopefully, no one would choose to consciously put themselves in positions where they're currently, you know, battling health issues or they're putting on weight or doing self-harm tendencies and we'll talk about this in another episode.
Speaker 1:On Reverse Recept Restore, I'm going to talk about addictions, but today we're just going to focus on this book. But I just wanted to bring your attention to the fact that this is how my body has kept the score. It's remembered the trauma that my mind has pushed into the recesses and ignored, because it's trying to protect me, it's trying to keep me safe, and so I'm now having to work with my body, not against it like I used to, but with it. I love you, I accept you, you are beautiful, you are enough. I'm grateful for the fact that you've protected me. You can release the weight now, because I feel stronger and I have different tactics and I understand where and what has happened, and I'm working on other ways to now keep myself safe in the world. So the weight that I'm carrying no longer needs to serve me in that way. It's served me, it has kept me safe in some ways, but it's kept me separate in many other ways, and especially from myself.
Speaker 1:Number two neurobiological insights. Bessel provides profound insights into the neurobiological dimensions of trauma, unraveling the intricate ways it affects the structures and functions of the brain. The book explores how traumatic experiences can leave enduring imprints on the neural circuitry, influencing various aspects of cognitive and emotional processing. One key aspect discussed by VanderKalk is the impact of trauma on memory. He delves into how traumatic events can disrupt the normal functioning of memory systems, leading to fragmented or vivid recollections that may contribute to the ongoing distress experienced by individuals. As he aptly puts it in his book traumatize people chronically feel unsafe inside their bodies. The past is alive in the form of gnawing interior discomfort. The book sheets light on the profound influence of trauma on emotional regulation. Vanderkalk explores how trauma can dysregulate the emotional responses, leading to heightened reactivity, mood swings and challenges in maintaining emotional equilibrium. A poignant quote from the book captures this idea the challenge of recovery is to re-establish ownership of your body and your mind of yourself.
Speaker 1:Number three innovative therapeutic approaches. Dr VanderKalk introduces innovative therapeutic approaches that have demonstrated remarkable efficacy in facilitating the recovery of individuals grappling with the aftermath of trauma. The book highlights diverse modalities that extend beyond traditional talk therapy, acknowledging the multifaceted nature of trauma and the need for holistic interventions. One pivotal therapeutic approach discussed by Dr VanderKalk is eye movement, desensitization and reprocessing EMDR. This method involves guided eye movements to help individuals process distressing memories and alleviate the emotional charge associated with traumatic experiences. In his words, he says, with EMDR, what people can remember and what they can talk about becomes much more congruent with what is actually going on in their bodies. The book also downs into the incorporation of neurofeedback, a technique that utilizes real-time monitoring of brain activity to help individuals regulate their neural responses. Vanderkalk emphasizes the significance of integrating such cutting edge approaches, stating our minds ourselves, our bodies and our brains are intimately connected and what we do to one impacts the other.
Speaker 1:Vanderkalk also explores the therapeutic benefits of practices like yoga and mindfulness, discussing how these somatic approaches can contribute to reclaiming a sense of agency and embodiment after trauma. He's done a number of research studies that showed that when participants engaged in 12 weeks of consistent yoga practices, they reduce their post-traumatic stress disorder. But yoga is not the only method, as he says. It's really all about connecting to your body, and yoga works well for a lot of people. This is where, my friends, it is so important for us to find a way to move that works for you and your body. Most practices like yoga can certainly benefit almost everyone, but some poses may feel more beneficial to you than others.
Speaker 1:He also suggests my favorite theatre and movement as a healing, and this is something that really resonates with me personally. When I was in college, I was double majoring in theatre and psychology, and it was my hope to marry those two together and use theatre and physical movement, like dance, as therapy for my patients. Maybe that is something I'll look into in my coaching practice. What do you think? As an actor, I can attest that expressing oneself through the medium of performance is very liberating, and I think it lends itself beautifully to working towards recovery from trauma and a lot of other life experiences. These type of healing tools really allow us to reconnect to our bodies, something that, despite being inside it a hundred percent of our time here on the planet, has been easy to disconnect from in many ways, often for our misguided attempts at self-preservation and protection. As Bessel puts it, the cornerstone of recovery is the remembrance of safety, and the body is the medium through which this is registered.
Speaker 1:Number four personal narratives. Van de Kalk skillfully incorporates personal narratives of trauma survivors, infusing the book with a poignant human touch. By sharing these real life stories, he underscores the resilience of individuals who have traversed the arduous path of trauma and discovered healing through diverse therapeutic approaches. One compelling quote from the book that encapsulates the significance of personal narratives in understanding trauma and recovery is being able to feel safe with other people is probably the single most important aspect of mental health. Safe connections are fundamental to meaningful and satisfying lives. By interweaving personal narratives, the book not only imparts clinical insights, but also fosters empathy and understanding. It bridges the gap between academic knowledge and lived experiences, reinforcing Dr Van de Kalk's belief that trauma is not just an event that took place some time in the past. It is also the imprint left by that experience on the mind, brain and body. The body keeps the score, thereby invites readers to empathize with the lived realities of trauma survivors, fostering a deeper comprehension of the intricate web of challenges and triumphs woven into the fabric of trauma.
Speaker 1:Recovery and number five hope and healing. Van de Kalk not only delves into the profound and often devastating effects of trauma, but also emphasizes the possibility of healing, serving as a beacon of hope. The book meticulously explores the intricate interplay of trauma on the mind, brain and body, shedding light on the darkness that can overshadow individuals affected by trauma. The following quote encapsulates the theme of hope and healing. Being traumatized means continuing to organize your life as if the trauma was still going on, unchanged and immutable, as every new encounter or event is contaminated by the past. This quote reflects the pervasive impact of trauma, but I think it also alludes to the potential for change and recovery. Dr Van de Kalk's narrative not only identifies the complexities of trauma but, crucially, offers a roadmap for healing. Through appropriate therapeutic interventions and self-care practices, individuals have the capacity to regain control over their lives.
Speaker 1:As Van Dyckhulk asserts, neuroscience research shows that the only way we can change the way we feel is by becoming aware of our inner experience and learning to befriend what is going on inside ourselves. By instilling a sense of hope, the body keeps the score and powers readers to recognise the transformative potential within the realm of trauma recovery. As Bessel says, we need to help people get back in touch with the body, to teach them how to recognise the signals and sensations that arise within them, and to help them develop the capacity to tolerate and regulate these experiences. Side note this is at the heart of the Reverse, reset, restore, thos to help others do what I'm doing, which is what I'm discovering in that self journey of recognising, learning to trust, learning to connect again to my beautiful, amazing body and my mind and my emotions, so that I can move beyond the traumas that my body has kept the score of and be the person that I've always been destined to be and that applies for you too.
Speaker 1:So this book is heavy, judy. It is not a light read. Okay For one. The print is tiny, so there is a lot packed into each page and there are sections on resources and further reading and notes and a huge index at the end of the book as well. It offers a solid foundation for understanding the connection between our bodies and our psychological aspects of ourselves. Overall, the body keeps the score is a powerful and compassionate exploration of trauma and its far-reaching consequences. It has been instrumental in changing the way we understand and treat trauma, emphasising the importance of addressing both the psychological and physiological aspects of healing. This book is highly recommended, not only for mental health professionals, but for anyone interested in understanding the complexities of trauma and its potential for recovery. Vanderkalk's work and this book stand as a testament to the resilience of the human spirit and the possibility of reclaiming one's life after the profound impact of trauma.
Speaker 1:Okay, my lovely, how are you feeling? Remember to reach out for support if you feel like this has raised anything for you and if you want to share your thoughts, understandings or experiences with this book or anything it raises, including the healing modalities suggested, drop me a DM or leave a comment on our socials, including our YouTube channel. I'll leave the contact dates in the show notes. I want to finish up this episode with a final quote from VanderKalk. This is something I really want you to consider and see how much it may apply to your circumstances, your personal history, your whole life up until now. This thought asks you to look within yourself, the things you may have long buried or blame others for, and recognize that by holding those things close or trying to avoid them is ultimately causing yourself pain. If you want healing I mean true and absolute healing it starts with acknowledging this. As long as you keep secrets and suppress information, you are fundamentally at war with yourself.