12 lessons from 12 years on the frontline (EP.18)

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Transcript

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Hi. Look into which device social work practice, poke class. Hey step by wrench. Odd. It was essential worker. His podcast is about practice related issues, self development and transformation. It will give you knowledge, ideas and practical tools for being a fantastic social worker, supporting you of assessment skills. Direct work, dealing with conflict. And importantly, helping you make a positive difference in the lives of children and families. Before we get into today's episode. I just wanted to mention. The Bassler child protection, social work practice master class series. That I'll be running. In April, it begins in April and runs through to. December there's one a month. And they're an hour and a half long. And there. Ideally for kind of frontline practitioners. Who wanted to be inspired with highly practical research based. Training that will equipped you. With ideas that you can implement in your day-to-day practice. I'm very much drawing on my own. Practice experience. And integrate an ideas that I think are. Clickable. And the areas are be covering is. The first one on the 26th of April is why is it hard to talk to. The children and child protection. In may, I'll be looking at managing conflict in child protection. In June and July, I'll be looking at assessment. In child protection. In August. Top tips on how. How to use attachment theory and trauma. In September, how to survive and thrive. Interpret. Touch him. In November. Skills and principles for cultivating a relational. Or approach to addiction and child protection. And then in December moral distress. Press impossible decisions. And. Removing children. NA. That side. About forever. Here's my conversation with social worker, Andy black. Exploring. 12 lessons from 12 years on the frontline. Today. I am joined once again by Andy black. Hi, rich. Good to be back. Good to have you back home. So today we are going to be looking at 12 lessons from 12 years on the front line. And this is basically a Twitter thread that I wrote back in September. Which tries to succinctly. Summarize the key lessons over the time. And when I've been qualified as a social worker, And then we'll rift off some of the ideas. That we talk about. So. The first idea is the most important resource you have in this job is yourself. Learn read, attend training, and engage in critical discussions in the office. You can become good at any part of this job. If you take the time to learn. I said, my thing came with this is that when I first began social work, when I was 22, I began my first placement in a statutory team when I was 21. Is that I had a. Commitment and a passion towards helping children and families. But I really had very few skills and ideas and knowledge. In fact, I was pretty impaired. In many ways, because my experiences that hadn't lended themselves to develop in pro social skills. And so things like writing an email. Making a phone call, but really big deals to me at the beginning. I'd have to wake myself up to make a phone call, or I would get really anxious about answering the phone. Not knowing who was going to be called in on what they might want from me and how I would be able to respond. Professionally in the moment. And so it's a reflection on. The fact that if you have a, if a willingness to learn, I think the two critical ingredients are. A willingness to learn in service of helping children and families and being able to accept feedback. And I think if you have those two critical ingredients, You can learn almost any element of this job successfully. It's really important to have those isn't it. I remember my first year. Sutland in so much from people who I thought were just incredibly experienced, incredibly skilled. My manager's been really fortunate to have really caring, compassionate. Thoughtful, considerate managers. And I think the mechanism of feedback delivery with sometimes. A short, sharp shock to my system, but ultimately it was really helpful. And for men, the social worker that I am today, It actually took me a while to get back to the point of, of wanting to learn again and learn an inverted commerce. I think I left university and was like, right, that's done. Now. I can put all that theory and Education behind me and go on to do the practical aspects of the job. And it quickly became evident that the world of social work and family's lives and the sort of issues that we encounter so complex. And it requires this continuous development, this continuous learning. And the idea has changed. And I think as my values and principles have changed, so have the ideas and the needs to learn more around that. I think as well, there is something about applied knowledge, which is very difficult to learn in something academically or theoretically. So, for example, when you're at university, there's lots of ideas that you are exposed to and that you learned about, but you don't always have the opportunity to integrate and apply those ideas in practice in real time. And so I remember for the first couple of years, each time, the hybrid. Get a new case. For example, say the issue was around mental health and there was a particular strand of mental health like depression. I would then go away and do as much research and reading within the constraints of time that I could possibly do around depression. And think about how does that apply specifically to that family? And that there's a kind of recursive cursive. Is that the right word? I think so. What does recursive even mean? No. Maybe there's something we can go away and learn. No, and it sounds like it should be in that place. But there's something about applying the learning and the knowledge specifically to some of the children and families that you're working with. And that is an ever. Present ongoing experience, I think in this work. Can you ever remember what initially started out? What the barriers were? Small learning. I think the barriers were around potentially the time. Although, I always felt like the time you invest in understanding the particular issue was proportionate to the degree, to which then you could be helpful. So I've always been quite. Deliberate and purposeful in trying to understand certain issues in order to. Be able to be. Of value to children and families, or at least act in a way that wasn't harmful. So the benefit ended up outweighing the cost and that wasn't intrinsic motivator. Yeah. So the second lesson. Is the most important resource in this job is your colleagues. Invest the time and invest time and energy and each and every one of your colleagues, you really are only ever as successful in this job. As those around you. And I suppose that kind of links in with the first one around learning. One of the ways that I would learn and still do to this day is find the people who I would admire. And I would look up to and try and spend time with them or ask them to fix article, come on, visits with me, or I'd sit next to them in the office. So we could over hear how they would handle certain phone calls. And find that the people around you so that you can learn directly from them. And then another element is. Just be in of support and in service of your colleagues and being helpful as much as you can. There's a quote by He was a spiritual teacher. Which is outflow determines inflow. And so I think you have a responsibility within the team. If you want the team to be supportive, or you want it to be in a team where you've received gratitude or praise that you then actively support others and provide that to other people. And it's actually making me really nostalgic hearing you talk about that. I think the change to hybrid working after COVID has eroded a lot of that. In, in the office relationships that overhearing a more experienced colleague, having a difficult phone call and picking up the sort of ways of managing that, that you can then use in your own practice. You know, that there obviously are benefits in terms of the flexibility that, that. That afforded to professionals. And I think families that in my experience have certainly appreciated some of the use of technology around meetings. And yet, I think it's probably compromised that one a little bit too. I think that's definitely. True. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know how I would've coped. Given how limited some of my communication skills were. In this covering. Hybrid working environment. There's a new, new qualified, I think. Yeah, they certainly have it tough. And maybe there's that we have to think about ways that we can replicate or recreate those kinds of learning opportunities. Through. Through observations or joint visits. Things like that. Yeah. The peer supervision, peer support elements of it. I mean, I've also heard the opposite. That where people have trained in hybrid conditions, they actually haven't necessarily known any difference. And so you develop skills and resilience. To that way of working that probably as someone who trains. In a primarily, always everyone in the office base. Didn't necessarily have that resilience skills. I relied on saying my colleagues saying my manager every day in order to grow and manage and. A difficult environment. The other way, I think. In relation to supporting your colleagues is when you're the social worker. And do you have a core group of people? For example, the Moe agency group that also supporting the family is to try where possible to cultivate. Really positive, meaningful relationships with each of the core group members and have them feel valued and acknowledged for the work that they're doing in respect of the child. And I think part of this, there's two elements to that to effective multi-agency work in a high thing. One is taking the time to try and understand the challenges and the constraints. And also the key functions of a particular role. So for example, if there's a teacher or if there's a health. Taking the time to. To learn about that role, what they can do, what they can't do. So that, you know, how to best utilize them in service of helping the child. And then the second element is offering them praise and, and finding them when they're able to. Take on a particular action for the child, or they're particularly responsive when you've asked for some information about a child, because they're also incredibly busy and have lots of constraints on their time. And so by acknowledging and cultivate, and now I think we'll support you to support the child and the family that you're working with. Mm. Hmm. The third. Lesson is compassion is a manifestation of understanding. The very least we can do for parents and children in this job is seek to understand why they behave the way that they do. And then there's a quote here by Stephen Covey, which is from a book called seven habits of highly successful people. And the co-op is seek first to understand before then seeking to be understood. And that principle is probably one of the most. Important influential guiding principles of my practice in child protection, social work. The idea that I'm, I go out and try to understand their position before I try and have them understand the point of view we're trying to come in from. And I think that's quite hard to do when you're under time constraints and you could see that the children are at risk and there's things that you need to point out. That we don't often allow the time to. Allow the parent to relay some of their concerns or. Convey where they're coming from. Hmm. I think there's two thoughts. That is the best. This brings up for me. One is one, is that when you listened to that, it sounds so obvious and it involves us. Relating to each other parents and professionals on a human level to see each other as human beings. And I think what you've said there in terms of the organizational constraints of the job is that it becomes much more professional parent. And I think in that. In those roles there is a much higher risk of losing that compassion as the organizational aims and the legislation and the structures of those roles. Plays out. And I think the second thought I had about it was, you know, a large part of what we try to do is, is to, to model the sort of behavior and relationship to parents that we'd like them to embody for that children. And one of the key therapeutic parenting techniques is about connecting bef the parent to connect with the child, to understand the feeling, to understand what's going on for them before intervening in whatever behavior it might be. And I think that's exactly the sort of ethos and values that we want to be operating with parents too. This idea that we're connecting with the things underneath. That the parents feeling that's motivating some of the behaviors that's driving, some of the behaviors. And then after that look at ways of addressing it. But once that connection. And compassion as happened. Yeah. And there's a couple of like short phrases that facilitate that thinking. What is connect before? Correct. I think that's when Dan Siegel. And then another one is. Regulate before reason, which is from Bruce Perry. Which is exactly what you've just said about time to. Connect with them on an emotional level before you start having a conversation. And reasoning with them. And I might, I do accept that it's incredibly difficult to do, especially when parents are angry or upset or frustrated. And you want to kind of defend your position or argue back that's the inclination. I think that's like an inbuilt inclination. Of people. But actually acknowledging the anger and helping understand where it's coming from them usually allows that anger to lessen or be less pronounced to move on to a more productive conversation. Totally. The. Fifth less than is it fifth? It's hard because on the list, the numbers are slightly different. And the order anyway, in the next lesson. Get good at recorded. Don't need a transcript, but key points and don't forget, the children might read it one day. Let your notes reflect your compassion. But some of the most important meaningful pieces of work and interactions can't and wake being recorded. Because they are relational. Oh, This is such a big one. Isn't it? You know, you've got these huge concepts. You know, compassion and relationship and connectedness. And then you've got, you've got to get the recording. And it's so true. And I, I, I really don't know many social workers and professionals that have got this down still, even. You know, decades into the profession. I think recording is an area that people continue to have issues with. I think just one of those topics that you could easily do a whole podcast on. It's a how to do, how to do an effective recorded. Because I think what one of the traps that people fall into is that they feel compelled to record everything. And so there's some case names that I'll read where there's literally a transcript of the conversation of the monologue that, that, that, that the social worker and the child, or the social worker and the parent had. And actually there's only one or two pieces of information that were relevant to. The concerns or things that were given well within the family. But it reflects a level of anxiety about recording app recording, what needs to be recorded. And so we record everything. And so it's trying to think about what do we need to record and what's necessary versus more additional, and not necessarily. I think done thoughtfully recording is such a great opportunity to refine our thinking. Connect with the, what is of the situation, the evidence of a situation I'm really critically challenge. Any biases that might be developing. I think a little bit can to journaling as well, where you might have. All of these thoughts in your head that Russian about, and actually getting them down on paper. Putting them out there can help you to refine them. And then new possibilities of thinking emerge from that. The. Next key lesson is the heart of social work and life, I suppose. Has been is, and always will be relationship based. The best outcomes for vulnerable children are achieved with construct different relationships between us. Children and families exist. And then another element to this lesson is that do not underestimate the power of conveying to a child that you care about them, that the child means something to you. It can supersede most interventions that we provide. I think. For me here, there's two components of the relationship. One is what I bring in terms of my affective communication about one communicate. And I think on an emotional level, when I'm in relationship to a family and then what I communicate more cognitively with my language. And often I think the thing that I'm more guarded against is bringing a bit of my personal things through to the relationship, which is, you know, exactly in some ways what we're meant to do. And yet at the same time, I think that often poses a bit of a barrier to what I communicate as effectively and emotionally. And so that's why the language that we use is, is really important. Isn't it? To be able to communicate to a child that you do care about them to communicate to a parent that you care about them and want the best for their family. We need to be, I think, explicit when we mean those things so that, so that it can be communicated and had. Yeah. And I think the challenge is. Being able to convey to a parent. That you care about them and that you want them to fulfill that potentiality. Yeah. At the same time. Invoking staff to treat processes that they might be resistant or fear from the Barrett. And I do think is that it's it can't, you can't do both of those things simultaneously, but it does require, I think that you dispense with the idea that you can build a kind of therapeutic relationship with the parent. You can build a relationship that's based on principles in relation to being compassionate, seeking to understand before seeking. Be understood. Support in them and facilitate, and then reach that potentially. But then also being clear and transparent and fair in relation to. Implement and the child tattooing process or explaining to a parent that we might need to enter into pre proceedings. The risk is that you come off disingenuous and I think that's always a big fear for me. Is that, is that when I do communicate Kara and compassion. That through the lens of and the power that's invested in being part of the local authority that that's interpreted disingenuously. And certainly I can kind of see from, from another perspective, how, when you're trying to communicate those things alongside. Invoking statutory responsibilities, how that might be difficult for someone to be able to process that those two things can come exist. And yeah. I've had lots of experience where that is possible, where we've invoked really significant. Statutory responsibilities with families, and yet still been able to maintain a relationship, hopefully in which families feel. At degree of support and compassion from the people that work in with them. The sick. Lesson from 12 years of practice is most of the research on what helps children and families could be summarized as this. Anything that improves the quality or quantity of relationships in the child or parents life. And I suppose. Yeah. One of the things that I often think about is there's lots of ambiguity and complexity in some of the work that we do in terms of how we help children and families. But there is this kind of basic idea of. Who can we. Who could, who could, how can we increase the level of human relationships around the family system? Because I do think almost all problems that are experienced by children and families are exasperated by a degree of isolation and disconnected. And so. From that perspective. I think a lot of problems or difficulties can be ameliorated by an increased level of connection with other people. And sometimes that means that improving the quality, quantity relationships. My lead us to think about how can we, what can we do to improve the level of the amount of relationships within this child's life? Even if we don't address the parent's substance misuse or the domestic abuse, and you could then think about, well, maybe the child could go to a sound squeak when we can think about the Manchester, not once a week for the next five, 10 years, that would be an incredibly valuable intervention. Or we think about identifying the key person at school, who's going to be able to do some direct work with the children throughout their primary school years. And so it's about thinking about ways in which we can improve. The relational richness of a tiled SLIFE. And not just thinking narrowly through other parent has this problem with that for sending them off to this intervention. And I do think that's where family who conferences are invaluable because it's thinking about how can the wider family come together in a more structured and organized and consistent way for the children or the parents. Well, if you use on this one in the context of you know, different types of therapy and also parent groups, So I think with, with parent groups is my experience. Is that when you, when I've asked parents, what do you, what did you find most valuable about the parenting group? They'll often say that they often don't say that much about the skills or the knowledge. But what they do say is how valuable it was to be around a group of other people from a similar community and a similar background. Who were facing an experience in similar difficulties. And so they found the peer support tremendously helpful. But often that's for a time limited period for six weeks or 12 weeks. And I think that parents would probably benefit from longer term sustained forms of peer support. When I did some research into correct my ethicacy in America, they've got this group called parents anonymous. Which is adopted some of the ideas and principles of alcoholics anonymous. And it's, it's a group where they have things like parenting advice and guidance, but they also have support around housing and it's completely peer led and it's run indefinitely. And what I found really interesting about that group was the average length of. Time that somebody went to that group. Was five and a half months. Wow. So that's the kind of level of support if was if the made available. Wood is what parents would probably choose to engage in. If it would, but often our support is only there for time limited periods. That's fascinating. And I suppose the relationships that do emerge out of the parent groups tend to be structured around the group and in the context of that group. Whereas I suppose what you're talking about in those groups in America is it's more community based. The seven. Key lesson instead, settle for good enough. The families that we work with, spend some, if not all their lives receiving less than good enough. I think the least we can do is aspire for better in terms of outcomes, but also in the quality of our direct work assessments in cap. A lot of that will cause I've, I've always considered the terms. Good enough. And I know you put it in. Inverted commerce. I've always considered it in the context of parenting, but actually it is often something that's used in the context of the work that is delivered to families too. Isn't it? I think so. And then I do think there's something about that Gandy quote, which is be the change that you want to see. So often the, we work in a system that's incredibly. Pressurized. And stressful and bureaucratic. We've increasingly depleted resources, and I think that's an invitation to aspire for. The best type of practice that we can offer. Given where we are our stages in our career, whether you're newly qualified or whether you were a few years in. Yeah. I want to. For parents, whether a parent would ever say that they were happy with. That parenting being just good enough. Yeah, I read this quote by not quite I'd read in this book by Carl Young. I forgot the name of the book. And I'm basically one of the things that he was saying. Is that for the individual who's had the I'm gonna use the wrong words and terminology, but something to the effect of like for an individual who's had a difficult kind of abnormal upbringing. All they really strive for is normal. That's what their aspiration is because their life has been so difficult and challenging up until that point. That really all they want to be able to do is reach a point of good enough. So that the life isn't fraught by difficulty and stress and anxiety and relational and happiness. And so I don't, I don't know what the answer is to question, but it doesn't. People's aspirations and goals are going to be different depending on what they've experienced. Yeah, that's very true. Yeah. That's very true. I suppose I was thinking of it in the context of, of the love and ambition that that parents often have for their own children and that parents. Often want their children to have large, better than the lives that they've had themselves. I see what you mean. Yeah. Yeah. That's definitely true. In the adult attachment interview, one of the questions is. What free things do you want for your children growing up? And almost universally, they say, I want my children to have a happy and healthy childhood. To have a good education so that they can get a good job and to meet somebody in adulthood. So they have. Happy relationship. And so they can have children and have a family. And so. It makes you realize that if that's. Often what that goal is for that children. What are the psychological and sociological factors that are hindering or getting in the way of them? Offering the children offering their children, the kind of upbringing that they know that they would want to offer them. If their circumstances were different. Yeah. And we should be matching those motivations where parents express those motivations. That's what we should be striving for. That, for that family might be what they see. To be good. And I think one of the ways that you could begin is by asking parents, what type of life do you want to live? And then thinking about how we can organize the support services to facilitate that self identified goals. The eighth lesson is that we are fundamentally flawed. I am late. I forget. But rooms, my recording can be terrible and I don't always respond to emails if you've met mess up, which I do. And this drop is far too complex to get things right. At the time. Yeah, that rings true. And it's just an inevitable feature of life, but it's especially true. I think in sharp attaching, which is an incredibly demanding and. Challenging role that you you're going to make mistakes and it's going to be impossible for you to avoid making those mistakes. And then in those instances, the best thing you can do is own it is difficult as that can be at the time. And accepted and, and apologize. I, yeah, I, I understand that. And, and yeah, there's still this moral distress that I think a lot of social workers feel and experience from not being able to do the job that they would like to do. And I think some of that comes from. You know, our own functioning and the reasons why we got into the profession. But I do think the standards and rightly so are. Are incredibly high. And, and it needs. Probably us to be kind to each other as colleagues and kind to managers to be kind to a social worker, social ex. Be kind to their managers. Because what you've written there is completely logical. His job is far too complex to get things right all the time. And yet when it comes to the safety of children, that is, it's almost an imperative, isn't it to get things right. All the time. Yeah. And it's very hard to avoid being self critical or self denigrate. And when you do mess up. Even when you noticed. Par part and parcel of being human and working in a complex system. The non flustered. Less than is actively seek feedback and accept it graciously. It's the most powerful and effective way to learn and learn. And it's how we improve our ability to help children and families. Embrace the discomfort that it causes. And this stem is from. My first three and a half years of being a social worker whereby I had the same social worker, tiny Keaton. Her name was. And she. I think taught me more or less up in. I know. And still use to this day. And one of the things that she did brilliantly was that she would give me feedback on everything that I wrote more or less. So she'd give me feedback on my care plan. She'd give me feedback on all of my assessments. And she had given me feedback on my chronology's. And. I'd be lying to say that I didn't find the feedback incredibly. Painful. And at times, Would love the moment when I knew she was going to be coming over to share the rapport that she just re re read. But actually the cost of the benefit to. That in terms of the improved. Written report. And then my improved thinking about how to help the children and the families far outweighed the discomfort and the dissatisfaction that it caused in the moment. And I became so accustomed to that, that now I'm actively seek out feedback because it's the main mechanism I think for which you can learn and improve the way that you write improves, the way that you think could ultimately improve the way you help children and families. Yeah, I think we're quite an unripe, unreliable and eraser of our own. Successes aren't we really I think if I was to be honest about the feedback I get, I think I'm doing really well. I'm doing really well. And then the feedback comes and it is a blow to my ego, my confidence. And yet that's when the learning happens or otherwise I'd just be suspended in this illusion that I'm doing really well. And not developing, not learning and ultimately the people that affects me cause I'm not having that opportunity, but also. The families who have a social worker, who's naive be thinking everything he's doing is perfect. Yeah. I remember my manager when I was about two years in said to me Ah, it doesn't matter how good you get. You can always learn. And I felt so dispirited by that. Because I was convinced that I was going to get to this point in the future where I would be able to produce these perfectly crafted while reasoning, well, evidence reports. And it is the case that you do improve and you do feel more confident and you do feel con competent, but you never get to a point where she was right. You never get to a point, whether it's an opportunity for learning. And to be able to have feedback that would improve the way that you think and act. And actually to think that you, you will get to that place or that you are in that place becomes. Quite a dangerous place. The other thing she used to say is confidence over competence is dangerous. And I think. Not realizing that you could benefit from receive and feedback suggests the level of confidence that might be beyond too competent. And I think that puts you in a very unhealthy and dangerous place. It sounds like a very wise Roman I've lost a snappy phrases. So the 10th, less than. Is effective social work depends on effective time management. By far the most important, in fact, deferral, I have another is to turn off emails and writing an assessment or report nothing bad will happen, but you will get a ton more. Why is this so hard? It's so hard. And I was, I've read in that thinking. I've really struggled to turn my emails off this week. Yeah. And I learned that properly in year free. That in order to produce reports. That are found some words long. You're going to have to occasionally check out with your ever present. Incoming emails. Attracting your attention. And then not only do they attract to attention, there's, what's called the attention residue whereby you, you look at the email and it takes a minute or two, but then it takes several minutes to get back into the activity of writing the report or writing something that's cognitively demanding. That context, switching. It's really damaging to producing. Work that requires intense, long periods of concentration. Yeah. I mean, since I've changed jobs, I've really been getting into Cal Newport's theory about deep work and shallow work and deep work being. Tasks that you get all of your cognitive attention to, and they're the things that are the creative, productive aspects of your job. And then I've got the shallow work, which has a lot of. Small logistical tasks. But I have to say it's the small logistical tasks that are the most satisfying to get done. The ones that get, give you another. That email that you answered that gives you that little boost of dope. Going to get you through the next hour. So lunch. Exactly. It's such, it's certainly a challenge. But when I have been able to turn off emails, turn off my phone and focus on the rapport. I've been astounded by the work that you can actually get done. And, and. And the satisfaction that you get from that and the movement on ideas or places that you've been stuck on is, is, is, is far more fulfilling or bit maybe slightly less immediately satisfying. I highly recommend checking out Cal Newport's podcast. Or his book deep work. They're really powerful. Lessons that he has in his word. But, yeah, it's, it's weird. How, like you can have a day book to. Visit. So meetings, for example. Well by you don't experience any anxiety or discomfort in relation to not replying to emails. Say for example, you've got two hour meeting and then directly after that, you've got to go on a visit. So you're quite. Hackley. Or not really having to think about it, not reply to emails for three, four hours, but when you put three, four hours to do a rapport, it almost feels criminal to not reply to emails that come up in your inbox. Yeah. But completely obligated and compelled. So effective social work dependent on effective time management. And turning off emails when you're trying to ride a bit piece of work is one of the most important lessons. The last lesson is to have have a laugh share stories. Life is far too short. Even parents and children enjoy your sense of humor. Doesn't it doesn't exactly sound fun. When I read down the prescriptive. Yeah, it's not inherently fun. Laugh randomly when you. Well, maybe it is, maybe it is. Yeah, I think humans are really interesting. One. I. In my personal life. And to be fair, increasingly more work and try to bring humor in a lot. I think it is a. Real tool when used appropriately in a context of a relationship. To be able to see. Life in a slightly different way to use humor, to see life in a slightly different way and so much of what we encounter and so much of what families experience carries with it such a way. And I am often led when, when thinking about humor with, with families, I'm often very much led by the family in terms of how that's used, but, but, but once they have gotten to know me and then once I've gotten to know that, actually even when. We're talking about, or families are going through really significant things. Being able to connect on a human level using humor is I think part of what, part of what we share. Yeah, absolutely. And then the final Alexa. Is there have been many times when I have felt that I can't do this job, it's too difficult. I keep messing up. It's too complex and stressful. And my favorite, my all time, favorite quote is. Aerodynamically the bumblebee shouldn't be able to fly. But the bumblebee doesn't know that. So keeps on flying. And I liked that because there was lots of times when I didn't know. If I could do the job that I was doing. For example. When you've been asked to go to child protection conference for the first time, or when you have to go to a hospital to see a baby in that, but there's loads of scenarios that you're placed in that you've never done for the first time. And you don't even feel like you're capable of being in that position or taking forward those kinds of options. But if sometimes just not knowing to keep going is the only way to get through now. Yeah, definitely. Keep on trucking. Keep on going. So that's the, and of frat. So that's. 12 lessons from 12. Yes on the front of line, hopefully. You guys have found that useful. If there's any lessons that I've missed off that you feel like are super critical or valuable, or just interested. We'd love to hear. We'd love to hear them. We're getting to. The podcast today by reading a quote. We thought we might try and do this on a more regular basis is just read something that we found particularly inspiring or interesting. And today is a quote from Patricia, Kristen Dem. And it's in a book called raisin parents. It's quite a long way. So today's parents are yesterday's children. Each is valuable as another with the success of each generation, inextricably tied to that, of those who come before. And those who will follow. Understanding this acting with humility in the face of such immense complexity is the role professionals have assigned to. Selves. Can we respond with mercy, even grace when faced with the harm that some parents create. Can we apply wisdom to the interventions we offer to correct the harm. Can we acknowledge ignorance when we don't understand and don't know what to do, particularly when we don't understand the terrible tragedies human imposed on each other. Can we comfort those who've destroyed their world and that of others, even when we don't understand, and even while we protect them from themselves, These attributes. Mercy for mistakes, wisdom to respond to helpfully acceptance of our own limitations and comfort. When things go wrong. Are the attributes that we hope for in the best of the parents. We know that children learn from their parents. Could I have a golden rule for working with parents, be do unto parents as we would have them do and to their children. Pretty brilliant quake. You'd all agree. Pretty inspiring. So many fans for listening to this episode. If you haven't already please consider subscribing or following or sharing with your colleagues. Please do leave a comment positive or negative or feedback is very welcome. And finally, if you have any questions, please do get in touch. We would love to have a segment at the end answering practitioners questions, or if there's any topics or people you'd like me to speak to please get in touch. I'll leave my email in the show notes. Oh,