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Evolve or Repeat
Join Liv and Shelby, two midwest twenty-somethings, as they take you along their own personal growth journeys and what it means to truly pour into yourself as a young adult.
Evolve or Repeat
12. Ask Liv and Shelby: Productivity, Discipline, Setting Boundaries and Tough Decisions
Ever feel like you're juggling hot coals, trying to balance career, health, and personal life without getting burned? We've been there, fighting to maintain discipline and motivation in the throes of life's chaos. This conversation is a real game-changer, packed with personal stories of transformation from a life of uncertainty to one brimming with confidence and purpose. We're tackling your biggest questions while dishing out some life-altering advice that's been pivotal to our journey.
Let's unwrap the tools that have reshaped our day-to-day lives, from writing down tasks to the wonders of Google Calendar for time blocking. We're talking boundary-setting, minimizing distractions, and the profound impact of prioritizing your day to combat overwhelm. It's all about finding that sweet spot where productivity flourishes—allow us to show you how.
Dive into our candid discussion on the power of being picky in love and maintaining the self-control needed to stay true to your fitness and health goals. Embrace change, trust the process, and remember, it's better to 'shit in the sink than sink in the shit' when it comes to making those tough life decisions. Join us, and let's navigate this complex, yet rewarding adventure together.
Follow the Podcast: @evolveorrepeat.thepodcast
Follow Liv: @livwerth @livedin.studio
Follow Shelby: @the.shelbylenae
If you do something really amazing in school, you're gonna get a reward. If you do something awesome at work like, you're gonna get a bonus. You know, If you are trying to stay disciplined in something and you're working really, really hard towards something, set a goal, but then set a reward for that goal too, because not only are you working towards the outcome that you wish to achieve, but you have an added bonus or like an added little incentive that you're working towards, that sometimes the incentive actually helps you to stay disciplined more than the actual result or outcome it is that you're working towards. Hey, we're Liv and Shelby and we're two Midwest 20-somethings fascinated with all things personal growth, healing and evolving into the best version of yourself possible.
Liv:Over the last four years, we've gone from lost, sad and broke to secure, confident, abundant and full of purpose.
Shelby:Now we're inviting you along our journey too, we teach you everything we've learned thus far and the secrets to building a life you truly love.
Liv:Think it's all rainbows and butterflies. Think again. Friendships, social media relationships and navigating a self-growth journey are all topics we dive into.
Shelby:Think of this as a 2 am conversation with your best friend, mixed with the hard truths and obstacles needed to level up.
Liv:So grab your favorite emotional support drink, make sure you're comfy and get ready to challenge your limiting beliefs that you didn't even know you had. This is Evolva. Repeat hey y'all, this is the worst fucking part.
Shelby:I hate this so much.
Liv:I know we recorded our Valentine's one already, but it's Valentine's Day right now.
Shelby:Yeah, happy Valentine's Day, happy V Day. This is gonna come out days after, but yeah, it's fine. Happy Love Day.
Liv:Hope you're doing something for yourself today. We us in our intros. We just cannot.
Shelby:I don't know how to be like serious.
Liv:No, but we wanted to hear your guys' feedback and see what you wanna hear from us. So we asked questions on our stories for you guys to kind of give some insight what you're struggling with, what you want us to chat about, and we have some tea to share, right?
Shelby:Yup, my brain is not brainingly Literally just got coffee from Starbucks and I'm like I need caffeine, I need my and it's currently almost stupid, my thoughts to connect.
Shelby:But, yeah, since we started doing the podcast again, it's great for Liv and I to talk about our stories and things that we're going through, but, at the same time, not everyone can always relate to the circumstances or like certain life milestones that we're going through. So we wanted to hear from everybody else as far as like things that you're struggling with or like life lessons that you've learned recently and kind of just do like a hodgepodge episode of like ask us really anything. We got a lot of questions on our stories, but then we also asked people for, like, what's the best advice that you have received in your lifetime, or things that you're struggling with or a life lesson that you've learned recently and we're just gonna spill the tea on what's going on with everybody.
Liv:Hell yeah, let's get her started. What should we start with?
Shelby:Should we just go into like the Q and A? Yeah, those are just straight up questions that people have and then we can dive into like the advice and life lessons and all the things.
Liv:Okay perfect All right. First one how to balance life when you have school, if you have a job, if you have kids.
Shelby:This is a hard one. And it's kind of more broad, I feel like, yeah, it's a broad question, but I feel like there's so many different ways to answer this, or like so many different factors that go into balancing life, and I will raise my right hand and put it on the Bible and say that I am not good at this.
Shelby:Still, I'm still learning how to balance life and I think it's honestly like so hard in your 20s because, although you are like 20 something years old, up and through high school, you have your routine practically laid out for you. Yeah, you know, like you have your school set time from like what is it like? Eight to 3pm, and then some people have after school sports, some people have clubs. Like your entire day is like pretty much already all planned out for you. And then college you get a little bit more flexibility, but you still have a set routine, like a set schedule of classes.
Shelby:Excuse me, jesus, that you're going to every single week where, right when you like become an adult and you exit college and you really truly do have like the freedom to kind of dictate your schedule. I mean, yes, like most people do have nine to five jobs, but also, like you as an adult, have the choice if you want that type of schedule or not. You can also choose to be a waitress and go work like nights if you want to, or if you're a nurse and you're working night shifts. Like it's so much harder when you become an adult to establish that set routine for yourself because you don't have some outside factor or some like parent that's dictating where you need to be at what time and it's kind of like controlling your life. You, for the first time, are like really figuring it out and that kind of hit me like a ton of bricks when I left and moved in by myself.
Liv:I know I feel like we're so. We were so stimulated like in high school and college, like even I mean, I feel like high school was very like you were doing something constantly, I feel like. But then college it's still like okay, you have a job, you have school, you're like hanging out with friends, like you're still constantly simulated. But then when you go out in the workforce and like you're out of college, it's so like underwhelming, like does that make sense? Like you're just not. You have your job and like that's it. Like obviously you still have your friends and family, but like you have your job and then you dictate what you want to do with the rest of your time and it's like what the hell?
Shelby:do, I do, and it's like your personal responsibility to find those boundaries and to like set those boundaries, because if you're not careful and you just like work a ton and work yourself to the bone, you won't have any energy left over for friends, for yourself, for your relationships. I was literally gonna talk about boundaries, yeah that was literally me, like I was giving all of my energy to one thing. I mean, we talked about that in like two episodes ago, but yeah, cause she?
Liv:specifically said like she is struggling with balancing life when it comes to nursing school, work, family, friends and just feeling overwhelmed and I feel like boundaries is the biggest thing when you have a lot going on, especially if you're in nursing school. I can't even imagine being in nursing school. I've had friends in it and I don't know how the hell you guys go through it, but you make it out alive somehow that's insane, but boundaries are the biggest thing Making time to fill your own cup.
Liv:Make sure that you're feeling good and good enough to go and, like hang out with friends, hang out with family. Sometimes you have to say no, like saying no to things has become a big part of my life now. I used to say yes to everything to just please everybody, but you need to please yourself at the end of the day, like you need to put yourself first and put your health first and your mental state first, cause if you're feeling overwhelmed, that's you're feeling that for a reason. So, like, take a step back and reflect on why do I feel overwhelmed and maybe remove some things that are making you feel that way I was literally just gonna say that.
Liv:We're the same.
Shelby:Like boundaries are so important when you recognize that your energy is being drained.
Shelby:Because if you don't like take the time to protect yourself and like protect your energy and you just say yes to anything and everything and you try to throw yourself into like a bunch of different things and overexert yourself, you're gonna end up actually not being able to show up as your best self in the areas that you want to.
Shelby:You know like this goes back to like also what we were saying about having like so many things on our plate last year, taking the time to like remove a couple of those things and actually give it our all in the areas that we really wanted to give it our all in. So if nursing school is something that you want to be giving it, you're all in maybe saying no to like more friends events or more like family events or like protecting your time and energy and understanding that like what is your priority and kind of like figuring out like what you want to be pouring the majority of your energy into. Because if you try to pour your energy into everything, you're not gonna be able to show up as your best self really to anything.
Liv:Yeah, agreed, that was good. Should we move on to the next question? Yeah, that was great.
Shelby:Wishing all the best in nursing school.
Liv:Yeah, seriously, that takes some I could never. I could never either. Managing time this kind of goes hand in hand with that.
Shelby:I feel like Do you want to start with this one, because this is also something I'm still working on, I feel like we're I mean everybody is still working on this type of shit, like nobody has it down to a.
Liv:T. At the end of the day, nobody's perfect with it, but when it comes to managing time, I think boundaries play a role in this as well and also, like me and Shelby, are very ADHD.
Shelby:Oh, my God.
Liv:We're the type of people where, like I, legit need to write shit down, like if you have a, if you have shit to do that day, like write it in a note and make a list of the things that you need to do so that you can go back and cross it off, or you can write it on an actual piece of paper. That one honestly helps me even more. It's like write it down and then I can physically cross it off. But boundaries are also huge too. Like I said, like it depends what you're trying to manage your time with. You know what I mean.
Shelby:Like yeah, I think one thing that has really worked for me that I picked up on during my nine to five job is using Google Calendar.
Liv:Yes, you got me into that and now I can't go back, dude, I can't go back.
Shelby:There's something about a color coordinated time blocked Google Calendar that just gets me going bro?
Shelby:I don't know, but if, like, I know that I need to be somewhere at a specific time, I have my notifications on my Google Calendar like turned on so I get a notification on my phone like something's coming up, but also just it helps me to see things laid out for me visually. Creating a schedule and time blocking has definitely helped me a ton, but also minimizing distractions for me has been huge. There's a setting on iPhones I don't know shit about androids, but you can put like focus time on your phone and you can create like different focus settings. So I had one for my job and then I had like a personal one where, if I put on like my personal focus setting, I only allow texts from my mom, my dad, my sister, my boyfriend and Liv that's it.
Liv:I love it. I use this.
Shelby:There's only five people on that list. That's like if I get a text from you during that time and my focus setting is on those are the only ones that will come through as a notification. That's so funny. Anybody else like it, just it doesn't pop up on my phone. So I know that, like when I'm working or like doing something, I'm not being distracted by, you know, like random monopoly go notifications or like.
Shelby:Instagram DMs or anything Like. I will get to those like when I personally choose to like open up my phone and actually interact with the internet and social media. But the people that are like the most important to me are like the only ones that are allowed to like come through at that time because I know that like they're more important to get back to than like anybody else.
Liv:No, I agree, and I think social media has taken over all of us nowadays, and so like removing that as a distraction is huge. Like I have to put my phone on do not disturb when I'm like actually doing a task that needs to be done. But also like reflect on what is taking up all this time that you can't manage. Like what are you doing on a day to day basis? Like write out your schedule? What are the things that you can get rid of to help manage your time better? Kind of what I said with balancing life. But I feel like that's a big thing, cause you're probably you probably don't even realize how many, how much time you're scrolling, how much time you're just like sitting on your ass not doing anything and just being lazy. Like, yes, we can have those moments, but like what are things that you can remove that will help you balance your time and manage your time better?
Shelby:you know, yeah, there's a lot of people I mean myself included. Tyler and I actually had a conversation about this just last night, about how, like, you can use scrolling as an escape, like almost subconsciously, because you're avoiding doing the task or avoiding doing the things that you know that you should be doing, and rather than like coming face to face with the things that you need to get done or like the tasks that are on your plate, people just turned to like social media because they use it as like a distraction and like a way to like not think about the things that they're doing. But you just get off social media. You've wasted all that time and then you haven't moved the needle at all on the tasks that you need to do.
Shelby:But I was somebody that would make a to-do list and I shit you not. There'd be like 30 things on that to-do list and I would have so bad like negative self-talk if I didn't finish every single thing on that neatly organized to-do list. Things are gonna come up. It's like giving yourself grace, and prioritization also has been huge for me.
Shelby:I would write out everything and I would like brain dump everything that I was like on my mind or that I needed to get done, that I would like release that anxiety on a piece of paper and start organizing my thoughts onto paper, like that alone is huge, just taking everything out of your brain and like putting it in front of you so you can see it visually.
Shelby:But then also like only circle like the top three tasks that you have to get to that day and then, once you circle those things, like write those on a sticky note and then put that other piece of paper away so you're not focusing on everything else that you need to be doing and getting overwhelmed. You have a clear set of to-dos that are time sensitive, that are like the top priority that you need to get done, and then, once you do those things, if you still have energy left over in that day to delegate, to like those other tasks so you can get ahead, then that's great. But I think I would like overwhelm myself and I would also pick things on my to-do list that were easy and that I knew that I could get done, as a way of like checking a box versus like actually getting to the tasks that I needed to prioritize.
Liv:Yeah, I would write everything down and then feel like shit for not getting everything done. And it's like bitch, you wrote down 30 things. You're gonna get 30 things done in one single day when you have other shit going on.
Shelby:We're not fucking Superman, bro, nobody's Superman. You're not gonna get everything done. Yeah, I mean, managing your time definitely takes time to figure out. I mean, that's such like a sucky answer.
Liv:I feel like it comes down to organization, like it comes down to you, and I am not an organized person. I'm not, but we've gotten better because of Shelby.
Shelby:Shelby's helped me with my organizational skills, which is crazy that you're saying that, because I also still suck at organization, but you're like you're so good at like the scheduling, like having things in order, like your color coordination with your fucking calendar. Like. You know what I mean.
Liv:Like you're type A in a sense, in that way. When it comes to like work things, you have your shit in line, yeah.
Shelby:I like things to be visually appealing and pretty. I'm just all for the aesthetics, and if it helps me in other ways, too great.
Liv:Yes, I love it. Okay, we could go on and on about this one. This girl said finding a good man. She struggles with finding a good man.
Shelby:First, I would recommend that you go back and listen to the last episode that we just did, because we talked a lot about discovering yourself and developing a relationship with yourself before getting into a relationship.
Shelby:Because if you don't truly know what it is that you're looking for and you're kind of just grasping at a relationship for like self validation versus actually wanting to be in a relationship, then that's something that, like I had to come to terms with for sure, but also and this is I hate I hated this answer so much when I was single, but it truly does come when you least expect it, and anybody that's in a relationship that's like a healthy one can attest to the fact that once you do end up knowing yourself and you do know, like, what it is that you're looking for, you're only going to allow yourself to open up to the people that align with what it is that you're looking for, versus before. Maybe you're just like I wanna be in a relationship, but I don't really know why and I don't really know what I'm looking for. I just wanna be in a relationship. That's like not the right mindset and mentality to have, because then you're just gonna be open to dating anyone and everyone, and that also includes shitty men. Yeah exactly.
Liv:I feel like well, we kind of said this on the last one too but writing down your needs and your wants out of a man and like manifest the shit out of that while also prioritizing yourself, but like values, goals, like how do you want a man that's driven, do you want I mean, everybody wants a man that's driven. But do you want somebody that you know, whatever, just something that fits whatever you want in a man, like figure that out. Or a woman.
Shelby:If you don't know what that is, if you don't know what like those tangibles are, start by writing down how you wanna feel in a relationship, Because respected, loved secure like how the fuck do you wanna feel baby Right?
Liv:and?
Shelby:then you're only going to allow yourself to be surrounded by or go on dates with guys that do align with those values and those things, and they will make you feel that way. You know, just pay attention to the people that you go on dates with and ask them questions. I always say, like, first dates are like interviews. You should know what it is that you're looking for. You should ask them like detailed questions about their lives, and the answers that they give you will reveal parts of themselves like to you that you can then analyze and say like okay, like does this or align with my values and what it is that I'm looking for?
Liv:And be picky like don't be afraid to be picky. We don't wanna be desperate Nellie's over here. Babe. Like be picky with the people that you choose to be with, 100%, yeah, because you deserve that.
Shelby:Yeah, you're allowed to have a wish list and things that you want in a significant other.
Liv:I saw something on here about discipline. Like I had a good like when I asked for advice. Somebody was talking about discipline, so I kind of want to like talk about that first and then give like the discipline advice. If that makes sense, go for it. Like how to stay disciplined, which is also hard as fuck.
Shelby:I hope you guys know too that we're not experts on these topics at all.
Liv:Like I, discipline is still so hard to me, I feel like everybody struggles with that Like, but that's the number one form of self love, self care, which is what was the advice on here, and I couldn't agree more, because when you are disciplined enough to do something that makes you feel good every single day, like working out, taking care of yourself, putting yourself first, like that is that's a hard thing to do, so I give people props who have that discipline. I am, once again, still working on it, especially when it comes to like a fitness routine and like just healthy living in general. It's fucking, it can be hard. It's so hard, it's so hard, but I feel like a lot of people struggle with this.
Shelby:I am a huge visual person.
Shelby:I know not everybody is a huge visual person, but writing down just what it is that you're working towards and what you need to be disciplined on there's just something about like taking the thoughts and the things that are going on in your brain and like physically writing them down where, like, your own eyes can like see those things.
Shelby:It helps me to really conceptualize and, honestly, get a lot more motivated when it comes to like staying disciplined in certain areas. You know, like you can sit and think about oh, I want to lose 10 pounds, or I want to get in the gym, I want to like tone my muscles, I want to do this, and you can think about it over and over and over. But when you put pen to paper and you write it down, like that shit becomes real. So then now it's like okay, I have a clear goal, I wrote it down, I can see it. Now, how can I break this into tasks and integrate it into my daily routine, where it becomes like a practice for myself? You know, like if it's just like a thought that you're consistently having but you don't take the time to like actually conceptualize how it's going to take to like achieve that goal and stay disciplined. Then you're going to just honestly like forget about it.
Liv:Yeah, it has to become a daily practice, which is why, like, I applaud people who do like 75 hard because that shit is so hard but it teaches you discipline. I did it. I think the longest I did it was for like 30 days when I did it once, but just those 30 days. I was like such a different human being because I was doing a daily practice of these things, every single day.
Shelby:Give yourself a challenge, like if you really want to work on this area.
Shelby:I mean, I know everybody and their mother says I want to be disciplined, myself included but, like it takes a lot of mental toughness and a lot of clarity and a lot of just like grit and determination and boundary setting for sure, like, if you will, let's say, like you want to be disciplined and you're starting a business and you need to spend a lot of time and effort on that business and you need to stay disciplined in that practice. If you don't set clear boundaries with, like friends, family members, all the things anytime that somebody asks you to go out and get drinks on a Thursday night when you may need to be staying in and like working on your business, if you just give in to like all of those distractions and things like that, you're not truly going to be staying disciplined right. So it also comes down to minimizing those distractions and setting boundaries and staying true to like the goals that you have and why it is that you want to be disciplined in the first place.
Liv:Oh my God, self control is huge.
Shelby:Self control especially when it comes to sweets.
Liv:Holy shit, bro, my God, I mean, my sister, we're just talking about this, I legit. Here's the thing, alex, my boyfriend has such a sweet tooth too, and he doesn't fucking gain weight when he eats anything. So he has sweets everywhere. And then there's me, like when it's in front of my face, like it is so hard for me not to eat them. Not to eat them, it's so bad, it's so bad.
Shelby:But that too, I really wanted to get better with like my eating habits and eating clean and whole and healthy foods. If you guys have not listened to the ultimate human podcast with Gary Brecca, highly recommend this. Man is so intelligent and he was talking about like the science behind, like eating healthy and how to take care of your body and all of these things.
Shelby:He even like breaks down, like different ingredients that you should be looking for in your foods. And I really started listening to his podcast and I was like, okay, this is something that I wanna do. I really wanna start eating healthy. Like just the crap that we're eating is just not cutting it Like I need to eat healthier. So rather than buying those foods and keeping them in our house and then trying to fight myself and have the discipline over and over and over to not eat them, I just simply will not buy shitty groceries. Like when I go grocery shopping that way, like when I'm at home, I don't even have the option to eat unhealthy because the food's just not there.
Liv:No, yeah, and that's what I try to tell Alex, but that doesn't work. So I need to practice my self-control, Clearly Like babe, we can't have that Cause, when I was single. I feel like that's what I would do. I just wouldn't buy like shitty food I wouldn't have like when I was living by myself. I wouldn't buy any of that. Then I would end with his ass and just Oreo's fucking ice cream, whatever, but bro myself controlling it to get better. That's one thing I need to fucking work on.
Liv:So if you also struggle with that too. You're not alone.
Shelby:Right.
Liv:Yeah.
Shelby:I think your phone's dying. Awesome. Sorry about my life yeah.
Liv:Anyways.
Shelby:I charge it at night Honestly half the time I don't? I try to like say off my phone a ton now, cause I used to be so addicted to it and just like constantly on it.
Liv:But all in all that's. I mean that advice on there was really good. Discipline is sometimes the highest form of self-love and I 100% agree with that.
Shelby:And also give yourself like rewards you know yeah.
Shelby:Like, if you do something really amazing in school, you're gonna get a reward. If you do something awesome at work, like, you're gonna get a bonus. You know, if you are trying to say, disciplined in something and you're working really, really hard towards something, set a goal, but then set a reward for that goal too, because not only are you working towards the outcome that you wish to achieve, but you have an added bonus or like an added little incentive that you're working towards, that sometimes the incentive actually helps you to stay disciplined more than the actual result or outcome. It is that you're working towards. You know, like I know our life coach, nella she did things called like growth gifts or oh yeah, you know what I'm talking about.
Liv:I know what you're talking about. I think it was a growth gift.
Shelby:Is that what it's?
Liv:called. She literally kept like a list on Amazon, like of the thing, like a wish list, and then once she hit a milestone, like a growth milestone, she would buy it for herself.
Shelby:I love that, which I love. Yeah, start treating yourself for taking care of yourself.
Liv:Yes, wow, that should be on a sweatshirt.
Shelby:That should be Start treating yourself for taking care of yourself. That's something we want to do in the future when we continue to grow the podcast.
Liv:I love that.
Shelby:Okay, what's next?
Liv:Well, that was pretty much all the questions. Okay, great, so are the things that people were struggling with? Oh, I had one. Oh, I forgot to put it in there. So where do you want to be in five years? I love this one. Oh boy, I don't even know, I don't even know either. Like definitely, I mean like I have a good idea, but like I also don't want to. Like just want to ride the wave and see what happens. So fair yeah.
Shelby:I think it's good to have like a vision and general goals of what you want to achieve in your life and like giving a deadline for disciplinary reasons, but also not holding yourself to that strict timeline and getting anxious if you're not hitting certain milestones at certain times. Like we have friends right now that are getting married. We know people that are having babies Like and that's just not a point of my life that I'm in right now, but also like that's okay, you know, like knowing and understanding your own journey is so important. Happy, healthy, happy, healthy, sexy.
Liv:Happy, healthy, wealthy. Dude period honestly, isn't that so real?
Shelby:That's how I feel I mean at least engaged or married, hopefully married by 31.
Liv:I think we'll both be married by 30. I think we will be too.
Liv:I don't know if I'm gonna have a kid in five years, yet I'm still so nervous to have children, though I think about it a lot recently because I feel like I've been constantly seeing people we know have kids and I'm just like, do I want to raise a child in this World we're living in right now? Like genuinely, like yes, I would love to be a mom, but also that comes with so much responsibility, like literally raising a human, and then I feel like I'm gonna have the most Anxiety raising a human because you're gonna be worried about them, the things they're exposed to with social media and just all the people that are in this world. It's like how the hell do you raise a child in this world right now, literally?
Shelby:how that is like a fear that I think about on a daily basis like obviously it's gonna be rewarding to have a kid and like I Want to have that experience. I really, really, really, really do. But at the same time I'm like, oh my god, the way that the internet and social media and our fucking Government and just everything is so fucked right now it's so bad, they're exposed to everything.
Liv:Bro, like, give them an iPad they can look up. Anything can pop up on that fucking iPad.
Shelby:I can't if I have a child, they're not getting an iPad or a phone until like at least high school. Oh yeah, sorry, I saw a tick tock actually about this one guy at that. He got on. He was like can we just agree as a generation to not raise iPad kids for the next generation? Literally, please.
Liv:I was applauding my client yesterday actually, because she always comes in. She's like the nicest lady I've ever met in my life. She comes in with her little cute boy I think he's like four or five and he is just adorable. I always cut his hair and then her hair, and I applauded her because I'm like you are literally the only Kids cut that I have where he doesn't have to be on an iPad while I'm cutting his hair, like she'll distract him with other things, like if he gets like whatever antsy. But she's like that type of parent where she's not gonna like put a fucking screen in front of his face so he gets distracted and he like calms down. That's how it should be. I should be like what world are we living in, dude?
Shelby:and they're and then their brains are not fully developed.
Liv:Their necks are gonna be fucking broken by the time they're in high school. They're gonna have skolio. We're not school, yo sis, they're gonna have something wrong with their necks. Yeah, what is that?
Shelby:We're like the hunchback literally like.
Liv:The kids are literally like this in my chair while I cut their hair. I'm like, can you put your head up? No, it's so bad.
Shelby:It's so bad, I'm so scared yeah, I'm terrified. Okay, well, maybe in the next five years, hopefully, we'll have the answer to the question if we want kids or not.
Liv:I know for sure we want to have a studio, we want to Podcast studio, where we record everything and we, of course, can get creative. Yes, we want to go big with this.
Shelby:You do.
Liv:We have big plans. I'm so excited.
Shelby:That's one of the main things. Maybe a house Not in the current? Economy but maybe in five years, maybe in five years. In five years, yeah, it'll be affordable to buy a house, but also rent. Right now is all actually insane. Everything right now is insane. I hate it here so much, literally okay, do we want to dive into Advice, the best advice that people have received in their life?
Liv:Yes, what do you got I have? I like to this one a lot. Nobody is overthinking the situation that you are having anxiety about. Oh, shout out to Kenna for that one. That one's really good. Always be stronger than your strongest excuse.
Shelby:Love, holy shit.
Liv:That's a really good one. After read this one, it's better to shit in the sink than sink in the shit.
Shelby:I don't get the first part. I don't either.
Liv:I don't either.
Shelby:I'm gonna ask chat you to BT to explain this to me.
Liv:Does it say anything?
Shelby:Oh, here we go, oh, okay, okay, so we googled what it means because I'm confused by it. But it says that it's a metaphorical Expression conveying the idea that it's better to take unconventional or unpleasant actions to avoid being consumed or overwhelmed by a negative situation. In this saying, shitting in the sink represents taking unusual or drastic measures to avoid a worse outcome, while sinking in the shit Symbolizes becoming engulfed or trapped in a bad situation. Essentially, it suggests that sometimes it's necessary to do something uncomfortable or unorthodox in order to prevent a more disastrous outcome. Okay, so that Probably like. The first situation that would come to mind would be like divorce, for example.
Liv:You know that's a good example like.
Shelby:Of course it's hard to, yeah, file for divorce and come to terms with the fact that, like, your marriage is ending and that it's not working out. But you'd probably be even more unhappy and waste a lot more of your life if you continue to stay in a situation when, like you're sinking in the shit. That makes so much more sense.
Liv:Wow okay. I'm so glad I I figured that out because I was like that has to be my something. I'm like there's definitely a deeper meaning. What?
Shelby:I love that. Okay, I'm a sucker for for analogies and metaphors, but that one I was just that one was good, confused, but that's smart.
Liv:I also like this one a lot. Shout out to Kimmy if you aren't inspired by anyone in the room, find a new room. Oh, period, we can have a whole conversation. Oh, we could have a huge conversation. It's what you want to come to like friendships.
Shelby:Oh yeah, friends.
Shelby:When you're growing up, like friends first come to you because of proximity, right Like you become friends with kids in your neighborhood because they live close to you.
Shelby:You become friends with kids in school because you see them every day and you have no really other choice of people to be friends with except for the kids that you go to school with every day. But when you become an adult, there are so many different types of people that you can surround yourself with and if you find yourself in a group of friends or Like a group of people that are not serving you and that have Values and beliefs that are so drastically different from yours, like it is okay to leave that group of friends and go find new friends. Like, yes, you might feel lonely in the process and it you might be feeling like all the emotions, but again, it's better to Shit in the sink, to sink in the shit. It's better to leave that group of friends and to do something uncomfortable than to continue Surrounding yourself with people that are dragging you down and don't have the same mindset and outlook on life as you and this kind of goes into what somebody said on your post Friends don't have to be forever.
Liv:You can take different paths and still be thankful for that time, and I think we've both been through some situations where this has been a thing. And it's good to look at it in that type of light, because I feel like for a while, when you aren't friends with somebody anymore, you kind of go in different paths, you go separate ways. Like we kind of think of that as like a negative thing most of the time and like you Just reflect on it and you get negative feelings. But it doesn't have to be negative. You can still appreciate the time that you and these people, you and that person had, be thankful for it and move on and Look into where you're going now.
Liv:You know, I think I really had to change my perspective on the situation that I went through with a friend where we had gone separate ways and we were so close for so long and I looked at that and I was like, oh my god, it's like gone but it's not gone. You have those memories, you had that time together, you're both thankful for it and that was just a period of time and now you can kind of move on I love that to better things.
Shelby:Yeah, speaking of analogies.
Liv:Shelby and her. I love it though.
Shelby:They're honestly they make, explaining these no, they actually do though very like philosophical, deep topics that have a lot of layers to them make a lot more sense when you're able to like conceptualize it. But I don't remember where I heard this, but somebody explained friendships as being like a tree. Right, like some friends are like leaves on a tree. They come and they go. They fall off, like in the fall time, or like if a gust of wind, you know, blows on the tree, like the leaves are going to fall off. These are like acquaintances that you meet like friends of a friend, or like friends that you meet in a college class that you hang out with for a couple months. You might go out to the bar with them a couple times and then, whatever, you're like your friends with them on Snapchat. You never really talk to them anymore. Like those are the leave type of friends and then you have the twigs right. Like these are people that are in your life for maybe a couple years. Like you are in the same major together and you go to a bunch of classes together. Or like this is somebody that you met and I don't know they've just been in your life for like a couple years. Those are going to hurt a little bit more when those friendships end because you shared more time and more memories together, but they're not going to hurt as bad as the big fat branches that break right, the big fat branches are the people that you consider like really close friends of yours and those fucking sting man. Those are the ones like you need a really big storm to happen or you need like a lightning strike or something to happen for those branches to break.
Shelby:The big branches are the ones that are obviously going to have a lot more impact on the tree, but the tree is going to heal regardless. You know it's not like one branch breaking off. The tree is not going to take the entire tree down. Like you'll be okay if you lose those friends and you can be grateful for the time and the memories and the lessons in life that you learn because of them and you can appreciate the time that they were in your life.
Shelby:But branches also do need to break. You know, maybe that branch needed to break for, like other parts of the tree, to grow even bigger or better. What if that part of the branch was actually like hiding sunlight from like other parts of the tree and it was like diminishing the light that other parts of the tree needed, like sometimes it's necessary for those branches to break in order for the tree to grow bigger and better than it ever has before. And not to say that those people were a negative or adverse experience in your life. Again, you can just appreciate the time and the purpose that they served in your life at that time and you learned lessons because of them, and you can move on from those friendships, being grateful for the time that you had but also understanding why they aren't going to continue to be in your life, for whatever reason it may be.
Liv:And that can go for relationships too, Like I think of your first love. Everybody has like their first love. Those are like branches fucking falling off.
Shelby:Dude, you know what I?
Liv:mean Like, but it's not going to take down the tree. Like you said, the tree is going to heal. It's going to grow even more from losing that specific branch.
Shelby:Oh, that's so good analogy. That was so good.
Liv:I wanted to say this other one too. So it's just going off the advice somebody gave which I feel like everybody's kind of heard this one, but you miss 100% of the chances you don't take.
Liv:And I feel like it's so simple but it's so real. Like when I, when I see this quote or when I read it, I think of like all the opportunities that people are handed and they just don't take them. Like they don't even, they're just like blind to it. You know what I mean. Like, and then they see. How do I describe this? Like for you, for example, you were furloughed. That's like an opportunity, though, for you to go and do the things that you've been wanting to do. Like that's a chance that now you can go and take. So I don't know. I just think of it as like that, where I feel like people are just blind to so many opportunities that they are given. If more people would just open their mind to opportunities and lessons and gifts, they would be receiving so much more. They'd be so much more happier. They would be able to, like feel more fulfilled, if that makes sense.
Shelby:Yeah, don't block yourself off from opportunities or other things because of fear of rejection, fear of failure, all the things. Just be open to anything Really, Honestly? You know, like that, speaking of being like furloughed this entire time, like, of course, it's been an adverse experience and it's been difficult and I've had to navigate difficult times, but at the same time, I'm practicing, like, the law of detachment.
Shelby:I'm trying to look at it as that opportunity to explore other areas of income, other, you know, opportunities of things that I haven't had the time or effort or energy to pour into. But you have an endless like an infinite amount of life paths that you could take in life and every choice and every experience that you live is a vote for the life that you want to live. Like one small decision could completely change the entire trajectory of your life. If you do look at it that way, it's crazy.
Liv:That's how I feel about, like network marketing. When I entered into network marketing, most of you know that me and Shelby were in that and if I wouldn't have said yes to that, like I wouldn't be a hairstylist I would not be a hairstylist. Like I was going to school, going to college for something else and I I don't. I was just lost. So like I didn't actually want to do that, I was just confused. I was doing what society was telling me to do.
Liv:And then I entered into the network marketing world where we were with a brand that was all about beauty and like wellness and I realized how much I loved that, so much I love making people feel confident. That that's why I went to beauty school and became a hairstylist and now I could not be happier with my career choice. So it's just like and the people that I come across every day and like the environment that I'm in. It's so healthy, it's so positive. I love the social interaction. Like it's just crazy that I would not have this life right now without making that one decision of saying yes to network marketing.
Shelby:And you discover like new things about yourself when you enter into new experiences. So don't hold yourself back from a specific experience simply because you don't think that you're going to like it. Like you don't know unless you try. So just like being open to like the possibilities, like Liv said, like had she not entered in a network marketing selling hair care products, she wouldn't have exposed herself to the environment that it took to discover her passion for hair and for beauty.
Shelby:But if you don't even like, take the jump and like, say yes to opportunities or put yourself outside of your comfort zone, like you're never going to have those experiences that lead you to those epiphanies that will shape who you are as a person and ultimately like change the entire trajectory of your life.
Liv:And that's another. I feel like everything is just going hand in hand because somebody said you have to trust the process, and that's so real. Like especially with what we're talking about right now like get outside of your comfort zone. It's going to feel super uncomfy, but you have to trust the process because that's what's going to help you grow at the end of the day. Like I was terrified beyond terrified to just like be on the floor and go behind the chair and take clients for the first time. Like I was literally having many anxiety attacks inside of me but I forced myself to get outside of my comfort zone. Well, I kind of had to. It was like my job, but like I forced my choice.
Shelby:Yes, yes exactly.
Liv:I was still choosing to be there and do this. So and now I couldn't be happier Like I have. I've been making so many meaningful connections with my clients. I've been I get to hear fun stories every day with my clients that I meet and it's just like if I wouldn't have put myself out there, I wouldn't be where I am today at all in my career and life and anything.
Shelby:That's actually such an important life lesson to learn too, because I think it's so easy to get caught up and like wrapped up in negative experiences where you can only fixate on like the bad things that are coming from, like an adverse experience, like, for example, like being for a load.
Shelby:I'm trusting the process and trusting myself that I have the tools and the emotional regulation and management to guide myself through this uncertain time, you know, and hindsight's always 2020.
Shelby:I'm always able to like look back on things that I've gone through in the past and see how they've played out and been able to understand okay, that needed to happen and I needed to go through that difficult time in order for XYZ to happen and for me to get better. I know now that this experience that I'm currently in although I don't know necessarily what the outcome is going to be in six to 12 months and what my life is going to look like in a year I'm trusting the process and trusting that, like things happen for a reason and I'm going through this for a reason and I'm going to learn things about myself and I'm going to open myself up to other opportunities that I followed that same path in the past where I've now come out on the other side and been like, wow, okay, now I know why that needed to happen, and I'm actually so grateful that I went through that difficult time and that I was trusting the process, because now look at where I am.
Liv:We need to appreciate the struggles that we go to Like that's life and you need to like the way that you're looking at this right now is so inspiring. I feel like to so many people, like changing the narrative, changing the perspective of oh my God you could be sitting there. Oh my God, I'm like lost my job, this is the worst day in the world, like I'm fucked. But no, you're not looking at it that way. You're looking at it as an opportunity to be better. You know what I mean? It really is all about your mindset. It's all about perspective, dude.
Liv:It is, and another I can give an allergy is all day if you need me to.
Shelby:This makes me think of like when you're in high school or college and like you're taking a class and you're studying for tests. Like of course the tests are gonna be hard, of course. Like you're going to struggle, but if you don't put yourself through the struggle of studying for tests and getting frustrated when you get things wrong on an assignment, or like when you get things wrong on a test and you just give up, then you're not gonna get the degree that you wanted, you're not gonna complete high school, you're not gonna finish college. It's the same thing. Like you'd need to go through those struggles in order to get the reward of having that degree. Nothing's different for life. Like if you don't put yourself through struggles in life and if you don't test yourself and you don't like put yourself in difficult situations and you don't like learn things about yourself, then you're not going to achieve the reward of having a full, fulfilling life.
Liv:No, and I cannot stand when people play like the victim and they think that, oh my God, they're going through all these struggles. And yes, you could be going through all these struggles, but everybody has their own damn struggles, baby Like we're all going through it.
Liv:We're all going through it on that, because I could rant Same oh same have a rant, sesh, because, bro, the struggles that you went through has made you who you are today, so appreciate them, stop being the fucking victim to them. You went through those things to make you a better human, so appreciate them and be grateful for them, because that's how you got to where you are now. This also wraps into it, though, some more advice. Let life surprise you.
Shelby:Yeah, I love that.
Liv:All of those three things like kind of wrapped into one another, like the advice things. Let it surprise you baby.
Liv:Like you don't know. You got to like appreciate the things that like I feel like for me I wanted to be on a certain timeline with certain things and like have everything structured with my life and the age that I'm at and whatever. But I just let go of that and I'm letting life do its thing and I'm letting the surprises come to me and I'm embracing them, even if they're bad or good, if you have like too tight of a grip like on what it is that like you want out of life, like sometimes it actually like hurts you more than it helps you, oh for sure, and I feel like I was in that mindset for the longest time, probably a few years, right.
Shelby:Like you can always have, like your vision and your goals, and like near to your near and dear to your heart and, of course, like, every decision that you make is going to lead you closer to those goals. But if you grip onto them so tightly, you forget, like, how to like appreciate life and how to like live in the moment. You just get like so anxious and like oh God, like why isn't this not happening at this time and why am I not making this amount of money right now?
Liv:Like why am I not making so?
Shelby:much money or like. You know what I'm trying to say.
Liv:Yeah, I feel like money is the biggest thing.
Shelby:Oh, my God.
Liv:Huge Generation right now, especially people in their 20s. Obviously it's a hard economy we are living in but like you gotta appreciate where you're at right now. Like I know, we all have our struggles and money has been a huge like stress for me and like all the I feel like money is always a stressor. No matter you could be making so much money, but you're still fucking stressed about it for some reason. But you just kind of have to let it ride out.
Shelby:These are all so good. I know this was like a hodgepodge of an episode, but we really wanted to do one of our like first episodes back like connecting with all of you guys and hearing from you on social media and definitely encourage all of you guys to like swipe up and like answer the question boxes, like when we put them on, because it allows us to like have that back and forth like two way conversation.
Liv:The last advice thing I wanna share. It's on yours. I just love it, harsh, but truly no one cares about you as much as you think, period.
Shelby:It's so real though.
Liv:That's something I've actually had to learn a lot, and like come to terms with too.
Shelby:It was like I'm so worried about like, for example, how I show up on social media and like just all of those things, and I've been like overthinking it and I really I'm just like bitch, like nobody really cares like that much. Nobody cares as much as you do, and like I didn't even wanna finish that Just nobody cares as much as you do. What else is that it?
Liv:I think that's a. I pretty much read everything.
Shelby:Yeah, I think there's a very insightful conversation. Yeah.
Liv:I love doing episodes like this, though, because then we just can like read off a question or read off a struggle and just kind of go off that Like branch off of it.
Shelby:Yeah, but if anything like this episode should show everyone like listening, that you're not alone and like the struggles that you're going through and we read off so many different types of situations and, at the end of the day, like you're not in this alone, all right, well, thanks guys for listening and for everybody that contributed Again, I think that we should maybe even have like a spot in our link in our bio where people can go and like always submit questions and answers.
Shelby:That's such a good idea that way, like they don't have to wait for us to put a question box up on our Instagram stories. I might implement that today Stand and look out for that.
Liv:Let's do it. We're gonna do that. Put on the list.
Shelby:Yeah, we're gonna put something in our Instagram bio like a link where you can go and always submit like questions or like things that you need advice on. That way, like, we always have that ongoing list of like what people are wanting us to talk about. But what lives? Instagram is at live worth and at livedinbeauty. Mine is at theshallbelinne and then our podcast Instagram is at evolveorpeatthepodcast.
Shelby:Really would appreciate if you guys have not already gone and rated our podcast five stars on Spotify and Apple Music If you wanna give us a actual review and let us know, like what you're loving about the episodes. We'd greatly appreciate that. That would be amazing. But also loving seeing everybody sharing like the reels and little snippets that we've been posting recently, really doing our best to up the Instagram game and up the content game. So we have a lot more like content for people to share and to get the word out about the podcast. But any word of mouth sharing that you do let your friends know about the podcast, share it on your social media. We love it and we swipe up and we give everybody all the love that they deserve for sharing the episode because we love all of you.
Liv:We love you all so much. We appreciate it.
Shelby:All right, see you guys next week. Yes, bye, bye.
Liv:Do keep up the good work you got.
