.png)
Evolve or Repeat
Join Liv and Shelby, two midwest twenty-somethings, as they take you along their own personal growth journeys and what it means to truly pour into yourself as a young adult.
Evolve or Repeat
18. Your Timeline Is Perfectly Yours
Liv and Shelby delve into the damaging effects of comparison culture and how to stay confident in your own timeline despite what you see on social media and amongst friends.
• Comparison is prevalent in your 20s when everyone is in different life stages
• Being single isn't something to rush; it's valuable time to build independence
• Maintaining your own identity within relationships is crucial for long-term happiness
• Social media creates unrealistic standards by only showing people's highlight reels
• Success in any area of life requires staying focused in your lane
• Everyone is on a different timeline based on their unique challenges and experiences
• Celebrating others' milestones doesn't diminish your own worth or potential
• Obstacles and struggles build character and develop valuable self-awareness
• Your 20s aren't meant to be a time when you have everything figured out
• The key to happiness is embracing where you are while still working toward your goals
Follow the Podcast: @evolveorrepeat.thepodcast
Follow Liv: @livwerth @livedin.studio
Follow Shelby: @the.shelbylenae
Hey, we're Liv and Shelby and we're two Midwest 20-somethings fascinated with all things personal growth, healing and evolving into the best version of yourself possible.
Speaker 2:Over the last four years, we've gone from lost, sad and broke to secure, confident, abundant and full of purpose.
Speaker 1:Now we're inviting you along our journey too. We teach you everything we've learned thus far and the secrets to building a life you truly love. Think it's all rainbows and butterflies.
Speaker 2:Think again. Friendships, social media relationships and navigating a self-growth journey are all topics we dive into.
Speaker 1:Think of this as a 2am conversation with your best friend, mixed with the hard truths and obstacles needed to level up, so grab your favorite emotional support drink.
Speaker 2:Make sure you're comfy and get ready to challenge your limiting beliefs that you didn't even know you had. This is Evolve or Repeat.
Speaker 1:Do you want to start? You start, you're always good at it. Oh my God, the pressure. The pressure is on. Also, I realized I didn't put socks on, so I have my fucking bare feet out.
Speaker 2:The toes are out, the dogs, the dogs are out.
Speaker 1:I cannot have my feet in these sweaty ass slippers. I literally slipped them on to come get you and then I forgot that I didn't have socks. I have to wear socks with these slippers or else they will die. It's so sweaty, so okay if you smell my feet anyway, so sorry about it um hi guys welcome back to evolve or repeat.
Speaker 1:We've started off on a strong note with um some smelly feet, but we're back. Um live has been on a little bit of a journey the last couple weeks. She she just recently got a new puppy. How's her? How's her doggy journey going?
Speaker 2:It's been a whirlwind. He was doing really well with, like, his sleep schedule and then he regressed. I think I mean that's what happens with a puppy. It's not what happens with a toddler.
Speaker 1:Literally, you guys have a full blown child. Oh my God, literally.
Speaker 2:The potty training, though, was actually going really well, so hopefully it doesn't regress in that aspect. That's good. But yeah, it feels like I have a child. It feels like I birthed him, and I don't know if I can have real kids.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I don't know how people do it. I'm like even terrified to get a dog, like multiple kids.
Speaker 2:Not one, but two Power to anybody out there that has children.
Speaker 1:Children, mothers are actually like superheroes and I stand by that. I can literally smell my feet. This is so bad. I am like moving one more chair away from you so you can't smell them okay, good. I can smell them, they smell bad okay, anyway.
Speaker 1:Okay, questions, um, but we, instead of doing like ask live and shelby um episodes, where I mean we could still do that from time to time if we if we do get a lot of questions, but I feel like it would almost be more beneficial if we did like a little segment every time, we do a podcast and answer like one or two questions so we can just keep it ongoing. So, if you guys have a question that you want us to answer, we put a link in our bio that has I think I made it a Google form, yeah, where you can fill out a question anytime that you think of one, whether it's 3am or your shower thoughts or whatever, and you're like I just need somebody else's opinion on this. Drop that in the Google form and we will review it and we'll answer it on our podcast. Yeah, so we're going to do.
Speaker 2:Let's do a question today, we one we're gonna start it off with you have to rebrand yourself with a completely different name and career go oh, this is kind of hard I can think of a career, but I can't think of a name.
Speaker 1:Yeah, fun fact about my name actually my. I am the oldest on my dad's side, so I was the first grandchild and my grandma like hated my name for like yeah, she was so confused why my parents like named me Shelby. So, starting off right away with that black sheep energy wow, love that.
Speaker 2:She grew to love it, but yeah.
Speaker 1:I definitely am a Shelby, so I don't know if I would like change my name.
Speaker 2:I know I can't think of did you have? Did your parents have other names that they were gonna name you, that they chose?
Speaker 1:um, if I was a boy, they were gonna name me Callan J, I believe I've never heard that. Yeah, they. I don't know why they liked that name so much. The middle name was my um grandfather's, who is my favorite. He like passed away a couple years ago but love him so much like. So if I was a boy it would have been nice to have his name, but I'm trying to think of like another girl named that my mom was gonna name me Madison or Emily.
Speaker 2:Oh, those were the other top two. And then, for a boy, she was going to name me Joey, and then Lauren was going to be Chandler. If she was a boy, shut the fuck up.
Speaker 1:Yeah, she was like I was dead set on that. That's so funny.
Speaker 2:I know I mean vibes Joey's kind of a cute name, but I wouldn't want to be called Joe. Yeah, jo joe, yeah, jojo joey as a girl is cute, I think it's cute.
Speaker 1:And then you call her jojo I think that's adorable or even chandler, as a girl, like you know chandler.
Speaker 2:I love the name chandler for a girl I love that.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's cute. God, this is so hard. I feel like I can't give like a definitive answer, like on the name here for me, though, would be like a pop star singer oh, period dead ass, my dream career.
Speaker 2:Like I don't know if that's my dream career, but like could.
Speaker 1:I that was my career in another way we are so deeply dissecting this question it's not even funny, like we're like we need to answer this correctly. Um, god, I mean if there's a difference between, like completely rebranding myself and like getting a new career and having to like work for it, versus like a new career being just handed to me, because if I had to work for something, that takes a lot of them out of the picture, but if I could just be handed a career, I mean I always I loved um AP bio, I loved biology, but I hate blood and I hate needles. So that takes out like 99% of healthcare jobs and even if, like, you want to go into a healthcare job that, like doesn't contain those like, you still need to work with them at some point, like in your schooling, in order to reach that point. So I could never do that.
Speaker 1:I appreciate everybody that is a nurse and like in the doctor world. Like you guys are saints and do all the all the fun things that most people never have to deal with in life, but literally never. Maybe, maybe like a, like a travel photographer or like a travel content creator. Like, I want to travel more. I want to have the Kardashians job yeah, just like your brands.
Speaker 2:Yeah, like honestly just getting sponsored by all those brands and having a reality tv show, chloe kardashian I. I want to be her okay, well, that was fine.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I got us a thing. Yeah, even if you guys have like a random ass question like that that you want us to dissect for 10 minutes straight out of the podcast, also drop it. Drop it in there. No, what were we talking about that? Like we came up with this, this subject.
Speaker 1:I feel like, no matter what area of your life that you're in like in your 20s, whether it's like your career, your relationships, like we tend to talk about a lot of like different areas in life, like in categories and when you're kind of navigating like life in your 20s, it's so easy to look left and like look right and compare yourself to people in your, I guess, like same age or like same kind of like boat to check on if, like, you're doing okay, but it actually can have like a ton of adverse effects.
Speaker 1:I mean, we see on social media like comparing our lives to like other people that are in you know, their 20s and we think that they're quote unquote more successful because they're doing X, y, z, or we think that more people are ahead in life because they have started a family, or it's just it's so easy, or like career wise, like yeah, it's honestly like one of the easiest examples is like how much money people make Like nobody is going to ever ask that question, but like the career that you hold and all those things. It's so easy to compare yourself to other people in that. So we kind of wanted to just have a whole conversation about growing up in your 20s and kind of like establishing yourself like in your life and being confident and secure in where you're at, without needing the ability to look left or like look right and validate yourself through like what other people are doing yeah, because everybody is like in such a different they're on their own timeline right now.
Speaker 2:Like I feel like I have so many friends like in such different eras of their life, like I have friends that are getting married, I have friends that are having kids, and then I also have friends that are single and like in the dating scene and trying to find like their person and like it's hard to, because when I'm around those friends that are single they're like oh, I just wish I had what you had, or I wish I could like find the love of my life or whatever I feel behind because so many of you guys are like you've been in relationships, you're onto the next stage, whatever, but you're really. You have to just stay in your own lane and focus on you and there's a reason why you are. If you are single right now, there's a reason why you're single. You can lay a foundation for yourself and what you really want in your love life and your life in general career, whatever. I think it's a time for you to really focus on yourself and give that love to yourself so you can give it to somebody else someday.
Speaker 1:You and I were in that energy like a couple years ago, before we got into our relationships and looking back on it, the reason we didn't get into relationships until we did because they're healthy ones is because, like we weren't ready at least I can speak for myself where I was still looking at relationships from a scarcity mindset, I always thought that like my worth and my validation came from the other person that I was like in a relationship with. I was always seeking, like validation from another person and thinking, oh, because I'm talking to this many people, or oh, because this specific person finds me attractive, now I have value and it was like it was. So not that way.
Speaker 1:I also feel like we had to heal certain aspects of ourselves before getting into a relationship it's okay to be single and I know that, like you, may sometimes like assign being single as like not having worth, in the same way that, like, people that are in a relationship are, because, in a sense, like, getting into a relationship provides some sort of validation that, like, somebody else values you and wants to.
Speaker 1:You know, do all the things. But part of being single is actually learning to give all of those things to yourself first, because if you enter into a relationship with the expectation that, like, this person needs to fill all of your holes, you're never truly going to be like complete and whole on your own as a person, and that's something that everyone should have like at the top of their list is like you, the only person that you'll ever do life with 24 7, you'll wake up with them, you'll do life with them and you'll go to bed with them at the end of the day is like yourself I know like single people don't want to hear that, but like it's so it's the truth like there's clearly something.
Speaker 2:There's clearly a reason why you are single right now and you need to just embrace it and like, fucking grab it by its fucking neck and just run with it and I would.
Speaker 1:I would totally like. I'm sure there's other people on the other end of this speaker listening to us and rolling their eyes because, like I, that was me too, like I would roll my eyes at, oh, it'll come when you least expect it. I was like that's literally a load of garbage, like that, whatever and then it happened for the both of us when we least expected it like oh wow, okay, maybe that is true and accurate.
Speaker 1:But going back to like you were saying earlier I don't think we were recording, but you were talking about like loneliness and like just spending time by yourself and I heard I forgot who it was but somebody say that loneliness and solitude are like the same thing. It's just the, I guess, like the emotion that you assign to it, like it's actually okay and healthy to spend time with yourself, with your emotions, all those things and like working through those, and I actually prefer being by myself sometimes, like in solitude. Tyler got a golf pass. I don't know if Alex has looked into this or if he even has enough time to go golfing, but it's like this insane deal where you just pay like an upfront amount of money and then like you just go and golf, but like he goes and he golfs and he's getting a lot more comfortable being by himself and doing all that stuff, and then I get more time by myself and it has been like the healthiest thing for like our relationship.
Speaker 2:I think that's a huge topic to touch on too is like when you are in a relationship, you need to have your own identity and you need to have your own lives. Like, yes, you come together, you're a unit, but you need to have your own separate stuff, because or else you're just not going to feel like you have your own identity. You know what I mean, like having your own set of friends where you can go and hang out or you can be alone and enjoy your own company.
Speaker 2:I feel like if I didn't spend those four years single, I would have relied on a man to like yeah, a certain way, like I had, I was able to build my independence when I was single for those four years before I met Alex, and I would not don't know who I would be today if I didn't have that. And even Alex like commented on that in the first year of us being together. He's like you just like really have like a whole your own set of friends and like you friends and like you really just go off and do your own thing and like I applaud you for that. It's not like you're trying to like be by my side every second of the day he's like I was used to my exes, like being attached to my hip and like that's not you and.
Speaker 2:I'm like yeah, no period.
Speaker 1:That's not gonna be me ever. I love that, I feel like Tyler and I actually fell a little bit into that trap, like when we first started dating too, because he only lived like three floors below me.
Speaker 2:So yeah, that happened, it was so easy to like merge your lives it is or like merge our lives together.
Speaker 1:But yeah, that it's so important to maintain like your relationship with yourself, even when you in are in a relationship with another human being, because it's so easy to like lose who you are. Yes, in a relationship if you don't prioritize like yourself.
Speaker 2:Agreed wow, and you're like, if you don't work on yourself and the other and your partner's not working on yourself, you're never going to grow together and like, evolve together you're just going to fucking be comfortable and stay the same, wow okay if all repeats yeah, yeah, evolve, baby, don't repeat it.
Speaker 1:I mean, I guess that does kind of like tie into just like the overarching theme that everyone's timeline is different, even if, like, you're single and you're in your 30s and you see people like starting to, you know, get engaged at a young age or get married or get kids or get kids. Have kids, yeah, you just get them, they just drop them off to you. No, have kids when you know people are starting their lives and all the things. But everybody is on their own journey and everybody has their own unique and like specific set of life rules and experiences that you need to go through.
Speaker 1:At least I believe this that you can't fully succeed in life if you don't work through, like your past traumas. You don't learn, like the inner workings of who you are, you don't learn how to manage your emotions. You don't, or, like you, you don't learn how to manage your emotions. You don't. Or, like you, you need to learn how to validate yourself, like there's just so many things that you need to learn about who you are as a person that you need to learn about life, and this may sound kind of harsh but, like some people just endure more trauma and more obstacles than others and as unfortunate as that is, you can't look at somebody that has what you want and get frustrated or compare yourself to them because you may have gone through different life circumstances.
Speaker 1:Does that make any sense? No, that totally makes sense, like everybody has unique things that they've gone through, unique challenges, unique beliefs that they hold about themselves. All these things, yeah, that no two people are alike, obviously, but that's also the point. People just look at the gender of the person and their age and all of a sudden they're like okay, we are the same person in the same boat and I'm comparing myself to that person. They have what I want. Life's not fair and that's just not how it goes.
Speaker 2:How about let's just focus on ourselves and stay in our own lane? Yeah, that's why I like sometimes wish we could take out social media, because it's like like think about our parents. Like they didn't have this shit. They weren't sitting here comparing themselves to all these other people on the internet. They were focused on them, their career, their marriage, whatever it may be, and like they were just flowing through life, like they didn't have these things thrown at them to like compare themselves to.
Speaker 1:I saw something on the internet too. I see so many things on the internet and I never remember where they come from, but I do remember the facts that like think back to, like cavemen. Cavemen didn't have mirrors.
Speaker 2:They didn't have this is so real, though, where are you bringing this back to?
Speaker 1:But like we were never meant to see our own faces, let alone like nitpick and see the inner workings of other people's lives, let alone see the acne and the pimples that we have on our face, like we were mostly just meant to see, like our, our reflection, like in a body of water that was so random to throw in there, isn't? That, crazy though it's so nuts when you actually think about that it's like holy shit.
Speaker 1:but social media has gotten so just like integral and ingrained in like where we are in our lives, like even like back in high school when it, when it first came out, I was like OK, this is kind of cool, like we can, you know, like text back and forth and all the things. But like I felt like in those first few years of social media it was just like an added thing and like people were still so comfortable having in-person conversations with each other and now it's become so integral in how we live our lives, how we communicate, how we do all these things that it's. It's just become so easy to compare ourselves to other people's social media when we don't realize that it's a highlight reel.
Speaker 1:it's all like fucking highlight highlight reel I'm not gonna post out there like my freaking breakouts that I had two weeks ago when I my skin was purging.
Speaker 2:I mean, some people do but like I don't know people that you're probably comparing yourself to.
Speaker 1:They probably have so much shit going on behind the scenes that you do not see, like you don't want their life, like stay in your lane and focus on your own life so many people are fighting like silent battles and like some people are more willing to share about their silent battles than others and like, as you continue to get more comfortable with yourself, it's easier to like come to terms with those things. But for the people that like really, really struggle with their inner self-talk and I feel like everybody is silently struggling, like in their own way- no, for sure and it's.
Speaker 1:It's so hard to remind yourself of that as you're scrolling, because you're not like thinking critically, you're just kind of like in a daze as you're scrolling and you're like, okay, that person's doing cool shit. That person's doing cool shit, that person you know just got married, that person just got engaged. Oh, that person just got a new position at work. Oh, that person just got that brand deal. Like it's just it's constant wins and it's it's hard to find, like the balance in the struggles that people are going through too.
Speaker 2:Literally. That's so true, though, because it is constant wins that you're seeing online. That's all you're seeing. I mean, there's some influencers that share, like their battles, but like the older I get, the more I want to just be in the middle of nowhere in a prairie on my farm with my chickens and like enjoying the nature and the outdoors and just finding simplicity and like the little things yeah nope same like that's all I want facts, no notes.
Speaker 1:I want a yard for Harvey, literally all, I think.
Speaker 2:Facts, no notes. I want a yard. I want a yard for Harvey, literally that's all I think about.
Speaker 1:But when you said like focusing on your lane, I feel like the perfect example that we could give. That happened yesterday is like the Masters happened. Did you watch it? I mean bits and pieces.
Speaker 2:Oh my God, like I saw him, like bawling his eyes.
Speaker 1:Oh my god. Well, rory mcelroy, he. They have like what they call in golf, like the grand slam, where it's like the four major golf tournaments or like championships, and there's like, oh god, what are the other ones? Yeah, the masters, the pga championship, the us open and the open championship, so there's four of them, but you have to win all four of them to get like this grand slam or whatever, and only five people have done it. The last person to have done it was tiger woods in 2000. Holy, so it's been 25 years and rory malkeroy has been to the Masters for 17 years. I think he got second place. He literally was the runner up 2022.
Speaker 1:This man was like fighting for his effing life out there because he was in at the top of like the leaderboards, like the entire time and like, obviously, you know golf changes. There was at one point where he was like tied for first and I was like, oh my God, oh my God, like the empath in me, and I was like, oh my god, oh my god, like the empath in me, I was shaking in my boots. I felt like I was gonna throw up. This man gets to the last hole and misses his putt to win the championship and then putts it in and ties for the person that's like below him. So now there's like they're both tied for first, so they go to a playoff and they both it's sudden death. They both have to play the same hole and whoever gets the least amount of strokes wins the entire masters tournament. So this man, like was literally about to win, like the grand slam, the. Of course the master is 20 million dollars, but like, oh, my god, I didn't know it was no, my god.
Speaker 1:But then like legacy, like to have your name next to tiger woods and be like the first person in 25 years to achieve this and, oh my god, like you could just see the nerves and everything that he was going through. But I have a point in bringing this up. If this man would have not stayed in his own lane and if he would have allowed himself to look left or look right and look at what his competitors were doing, he he would have totally thrown himself off. But like, imagine the amount of like emotional management you have to go through to play an entire 18 holes of golf to then get to that moment where you thought you would be walking to the clubhouse to get your green jacket. Instead you're walking to the clubhouse to get on a golf court so they can bring you back up to tee off. I was like losing my mind the whole time. That's a perfect example though the perfect example.
Speaker 1:Rory at the beginning was saying like I'm just I'm staying in my own lane, like I'm not talking to any other golfers, like I'm just trying to like run through and and focus and like stay in my own lane and do like what I know works for me. Like I listened to one of his interviews and imagine if everybody did that.
Speaker 2:Literally no the world would be such a happier place, right? No, literally, honestly.
Speaker 1:But it literally it's. It's exactly like golf, because I mean he was golfing with the person who was literally gunning for first place the entire time and if he would have not stayed in his own lane like he would have not achieved what he did.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's crazy. Like how are you going to be successful in your career as a mother, as a father, as a like friend, Like how are you going to be successful in any area of your life if you're not focusing on yourself and staying in your own lane?
Speaker 1:Well, and I feel like a lot of people like expect themselves to have it all figured out. Yeah, that's huge. It's your first time doing life, babe, it's everyone's first time doing life.
Speaker 2:This planet does not come with like a rule book.
Speaker 1:No, I mean, there's the bible and there's like a couple other things. But like you didn't enter this earth, pop out of your mom's and somebody hand over a book on how to do life Well, it's cause like that's another thing.
Speaker 2:I know we like mentioned this, but literally everyone's on their own timeline. Like we've all gone through so many different experiences to get where we are now. Like I think of our early twenties and how many things we went through. Like we actually went through a lot of shit for being in our early twenties. We were like in network marketing, going on all these trips we were traveling, we were also going to school, like doing all this crazy shit, and now we're like settling down already at the age of like 25 and 27 or 26, and it's like when you look at that, though, I feel like we've lived so much life, but then somebody else has probably not lived as like that much of life, like hasn't had that many experiences. So they're still trying to figure it out, and that's when the like comparison can kind of happen.
Speaker 1:The whole point of your 20s and we talked about this in our last episode. But you have structure up until you're 18. If you're in a structured home environment and you're going to a structured school environment, you know you're in extracurriculars, like your time is filled and people are telling you what to do with that time. But you all of a sudden get full autonomy over your life once you leave that environment. I was about to burp that you have to. It almost is trial and error, like you have to figure out, and it's not even like with the fuck ups or like things that, like you, mess up in life, but like the mundane, like figuring out your routine.
Speaker 2:Figuring out like what you want to do for your career, like where you want to live like your passions are figuring out hobbies like the more you get into your career, it's like what hobbies do I have? I need to have have hobbies Like it.
Speaker 1:just it baffles me and like I'm looping myself into this group of people. But like it baffles me how, like some people sometimes can just expect themselves to like, have to, like, have all their shit figured out Like you haven't endured this stuff before, so it doesn't make any logical sense that you would hold the expectation that you should know how to overcome it.
Speaker 2:also like can we just enjoy where we at, where we're at right now, in the moment, like, why do we have to, like, stress the fuck out and think we're not where we're supposed to be, when we're exactly where we're supposed to be?
Speaker 1:well, and if you're spending your entire life, quote-unquote, trying to figure your life out, like you're never truly valuing it, or like actually experiencing, or like living in it and feeling the emotions that are in the present moment, because your mind is always elsewhere, thinking about what you're going to do next or like how, how do I improve in this area? And I'm so guilty of this, but I've just tried so hard to remind myself that, like two things can be true like you can be working towards goals while also still allow yourself to be happy and confident with where you're at in your life. This point is a big one is celebrating other people without devaluing yourself.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I feel like this is huge, especially since we all I feel like my friend group right now everybody is in such different stages of their lives. People are having babies, like I said, people are getting married. Like you can still have fun and celebrate those people and their milestones that they're having, even though you haven't had those milestones yet somebody else's lane has nothing to do with your own, no.
Speaker 1:So just because somebody else is achieving something or achieving a milestone does not take away from the fact that you have the potential to also achieve that milestone. And just because they're doing it first doesn't mean that you can't like. It's not a race, babe no, not at all.
Speaker 2:Like, don't be the victim and don't play a pity party here like you, still have time to take like you're. You're still 25, like you got plenty of time.
Speaker 1:You are a okay babe, yeah, so it's so interesting to me because so many people have asked me now that my sister has like gotten engaged and like she's been engaged for a while and she's starting to plan the wedding.
Speaker 1:The perfect example, yeah like, oh, are you like, is it weird that, like your younger sister is getting married before you? And I look at them, I'm like, what are you talking about? But I'm not. No. Like they've been dating for four years, like this is the next right step for them, like they're the ones. It's their lane, babe, like you know, like they have made this decision on their own timeline. It's what they want to do, it's their lives. It's my job as the big sister to be my little sister's number one cheerleader, make her feel beautiful throughout the entire process, make her feel loved and make her feel seen. And it has nothing to do with me or my value, because it's not my life or my wedding.
Speaker 2:Well, and also you two are very different people. Like you've had both very different experiences with relationships and just the way that you've been, like she stayed in her hometown and she's been with this guy for however long you've been in madison doing your thing, you find you found tyler like almost three years ago now. Like your timeline is so different and you're such different people, it makes sense for her like at this moment and that's fine and you can celebrate that right and that's the thing too is like why are we comparing ourselves to people on the internet let alone?
Speaker 1:it's it's so easy to compare yourself to like a sibling, but like we literally share damn near the same dna. We have the same parents, grew up in the same house and we still are on such different paths and such different journeys, because we're just simply two different people yeah, exactly you know, another, like example I can think of kind of too is Alex's stepmom and dad. Oh.
Speaker 2:Like them having a kid almost well, like a year and a half ago now. Like that's kind of like a good example, with them being on their own timeline. Like she has wanted to be a mom her whole life she's probably compared herself to other people having kids and it took her this long to have them and she went through all these. You know all these hard times with struggling to have a kid and going through IVF and it not working, and then she finally gets this miracle baby. You know what I mean. Like that's just like a perfect example too. Like everybody is seriously on their own timeline and it will happen for you when it is meant to happen for you, right?
Speaker 1:whatever that is and she's probably just so damn grateful for that child so grateful.
Speaker 2:She's obsessed with her and, like we were all, so ecstatic for her wow yeah, alex is so extremely happy for them and they're like 25 years apart but like he can still be happy for them right because everyone's on their own timeline. Yeah, and it's okay to celebrate that right, oh man, well, also too.
Speaker 1:Like I feel like so many people need to change their mindset around what it means to actually struggle because, like you endure a struggle, you endure an obstacle. You know, going through something in life is like what you think about it and how you kind of like frame it in your mindset. If you allow yourself to continue to play the victim mentality and like what was me, like I'm less than because of this, like, oh, alex Earl has five million followers and all this money, like I'm not as pretty as her, I'm not as successful as her.
Speaker 2:I can't stand that. Like what are we? Doing what Is that making you feel better? By like doing some self-pity and playing the victim, like how that does not. There's no way in hell that that makes you feel better about yourself. No.
Speaker 1:It. Like you're doing it to yourself by allowing yourself to ruminate in that energy and like you're internalizing. I'm not saying that like you are responsible for all of the bad and negative things that like happen to you, but you are responsible for the way that you process it and go about it and manage it. And it's also your responsibility to like not let yourself like sit in that energy and like ruminate it. Like holding grudges is a perfect example.
Speaker 1:The situation happens right Like you can be pissed off at the situation, like you can be frustrated that somebody did you dirty and and all the things, but like the only thing that's like truly keeping you in that energy and continuing to endure that pain is yourself. By continuing to like allow yourself to like sit in that and also like not only that mindset shift but also obstacles and like going through shit in life is actually character building. Exactly I would like. I am so grateful for all the shit that I endured in my life because I'm so proud of like the person that I am today and like the mindset that I hold. But you and I would not be sitting here a friends, but like be like good of friends and like just the people that we are today, if it had not been for all the shit that we have endured exactly you have to go through shit to become a better person and like go through certain life experiences that are maybe shitty to build your character and then it's gonna.
Speaker 2:It literally makes you a better person. It makes you, like more aware of certain situations, how to respond in certain situations, like it just makes you more self-aware.
Speaker 1:Yeah, If anything like it's a hands-on like experience to how to learn to love yourself more and appreciate yourself more. Like you should almost I shouldn't say like seek out opportunities to fuck yourself over.
Speaker 2:That's not what I'm saying but like, seek out opportunities for growth to get you out of your comfort zone like don't necessarily like always look at something negative happening to you as like the world is coming crashing down.
Speaker 1:because if you look at it like that and you can't like manage your emotions and like see both sides of the picture and and truly just take the experience for what it is and be like you know what, like this wasn't awesome, but like I'm gonna keep going and like I trust myself to keep leading myself in in you know, the same direction, like you're just going to keep yourself in, like in the same place.
Speaker 2:Network marketing is a perfect example of that, yeah, Like it brought us a lot of good, but it also brought us a lot of um learning experiences that built us into who we are today.
Speaker 1:That's such a nice way to put it.
Speaker 2:But us into who we are today that's such a nice way to put it, isn't it? But also, like I, if I didn't have that experience, I would not be as good of a business owner today with my hair stuff. Like I wouldn't be able to do the social media that I do, I wouldn't be able to talk and like, have the ability to just be as, like I don't know, just like open and sociable. You know what I mean. Public speaking still scares me, but like, I feel like if I, if it weren't for network marketing, I would not be able to like go on a stage and like well, not a stage, but like just anywhere and like talk and like feel confident right, yeah, I'd be so like, oh, that person's judging me, oh that person.
Speaker 2:Yeah, like I would overthink everything and like fucking freak out my mom would like always bring this up too.
Speaker 1:She's like I just I don't understand how you turned out the way that you did, because in high school I in in high school when I was like in dance, like I was so bubbly, but before that in middle school, like I would fake being sick the week that we had to show our dances to like the other. Did you ever have to do that? Oh, I guess you didn't do studio dance, did you? Yeah?
Speaker 2:well, when I was younger, yeah, middle school.
Speaker 1:There would be three classes going on at the same time and we'd be getting ready for our recital or competition and all the things. So we'd do a little mini show where we'd all go into one studio and then we'd practice our dance in front of other people and they would watch us. We'd fake sick that week because I was so afraid and my mom picked up on it. She like would cock me and be like you're just nervous to perform like mom.
Speaker 2:No, my tummy really does hurt. No, every time before going on, like that football field or that basketball court, I would want to literally shit myself. Grow up right, and that feeling will almost always kind of be there, like if you're getting out there in front of other people, but that means that you care and like you're gonna do well.
Speaker 1:But you would have not never gotten to the the point of where we are now and the comfortability that we have with being ourselves and letting our personality shine, especially in front of strangers, if we had not, like, pushed ourselves and put ourselves in those situations to be challenged and to struggle and to face an obstacle, because otherwise, like, we wouldn't have grown. Everybody learns, everybody grows, does all the things but, like, just continuously push yourself in the direction of growth. Even if, like you are going to face obstacles, even if you know that, like, an obstacle is in your path, you should chase it down because it is going to, at the end of the day, make you a more well-rounded, developed human being.
Speaker 2:And self-aware.
Speaker 1:And self-aware.
Speaker 2:Wow, do we want to end on that Cause?
Speaker 1:I think that was really good, wait, I was like I feel like that, just like wrapped it all up.
Speaker 2:No, I think that was really good.
Speaker 1:How long?
Speaker 2:have we been?
Speaker 1:recording. I also have not checked at all if we've still been recording.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah, we're great, oh, my god, I almost had a fucking heart attack.
Speaker 1:We need to monitor that. I moved too far away from it because my feet smelled so I wasn't looking at it, but yeah, she's been recording this whole time. Guys, we got a giant pack of double a batteries and we're changing it every time, every fucking time, because that's never happening again. I checked the sd card.
Speaker 1:I made sure we had enough room oh my god had we not, occur over, dealt with those obstacles, jesus words had we not endured those obstacles, it would have not built our character to then make us better at being podcasters. It makes you better and you learn from your mistakes. That's life and don't compare yourself to other people.
Speaker 2:Embrace your 20s and embrace just being who you are and yourself, and just live your best life and don't compare yourself to people on the fucking Internet.
Speaker 1:Right, like you may be enduring your own shit storm, I'm enduring my own shit storm, but it's all a giant shit storm together and we're having fun.
Speaker 2:And you're lucky enough to be living this life, so fucking live it like come on, sister, wake the fuck up that's the end okay, love you all if you guys want to follow us.
Speaker 1:Liv's Instagram is at Liv Worth and her stylist page is at livedinbeauty. My Instagram, oh no, studio. At livedinstud studio. She's a studio owner now. Mine is the dot shelby lenay. And then our podcast instagram is at evolve a repeat dot the podcast. And our tiktok is at evolve a repeat dot podcast nova also a little teaser.
Speaker 2:We have some really exciting guests in two weeks. I'm gonna puke.
Speaker 1:I'm so excited I know we're see, we're overcoming obstacles and we're preparing ourselves double whammy double wham.
Speaker 2:Okay, all right, see you guys next time. Bye.
