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Evolve or Repeat
Join Liv and Shelby, two midwest twenty-somethings, as they take you along their own personal growth journeys and what it means to truly pour into yourself as a young adult.
Evolve or Repeat
19. Evolving Identity: An Entrepreneurial Mother with Whitney Malish
Meet Whitney Malish, the creative force behind Malish Home and our first-ever podcast guest this season! Whitney's journey from small-town Louisiana to successful entrepreneur and new mom embodies what it means to evolve authentically through life's biggest transitions.
Whitney shares her remarkable path from being one of the first in her family to attend college, studying engineering at LSU, to pursuing her master's at Notre Dame where she met her husband John. With refreshing honesty, she opens up about ending a seven-year relationship to follow her dreams, building a new life in Wisconsin where she knew no one, and creating meaningful connections from scratch.
We also discuss her transition to motherhood after welcoming her son Mav. Rather than seeing this change as losing herself, she describes it as "becoming" – evolving into a version of herself she's excited to meet. Her candid insights about postpartum struggles and how motherhood has deepened her marriage offer comfort and wisdom to anyone facing major life transitions.
Whether you're contemplating career shifts, relocating, starting a family, or simply seeking more authentic connections, Whitney's practical advice on following your passions while embracing change will inspire you to view evolution not as loss, but as expansion. Join us for this heartfelt conversation that proves you can honor your ambitions while creating a life filled with purpose and meaningful relationships.
For 10% off an interior stylist package with The Malish Home, mention the Evolve or Repeat podcast and follow Whitney on @themalishhome & @whitandkels
For all things social media, be sure to check out @juliabroome!
Follow the Podcast: @evolveorrepeat.thepodcast
Follow Liv: @livwerth @livedin.studio
Follow Shelby: @the.shelbylenae
Hey, we're Liv and Shelby and we're two Midwest 20-somethings fascinated with all things personal growth, healing and evolving into the best version of yourself possible.
Speaker 2:Over the last four years, we've gone from lost, sad and broke to secure, confident, abundant and full of purpose.
Speaker 1:Now we're inviting you along our journey too. We teach you everything we've learned thus far and the secrets to building a life you truly love. Think it's all rainbows and butterflies.
Speaker 2:Think again. Friendships, social media relationships and navigating a self-growth journey are all topics we dive into.
Speaker 1:Think of this as a 2am conversation with your best friend, mixed with the hard truths and obstacles needed to level up.
Speaker 2:So grab your favorite emotional support drink, make sure you're comfy and get ready to challenge your limiting beliefs that you didn't even know you had. This is Evolve or Repeat.
Speaker 1:Hey guys, welcome back to another episode of Evolve or Repeat. We are so, so, so excited for this episode. Today we have our first guest on. Her name is Whitney Malish. She is the creative force behind Malish Home, a curated collection of beautiful home decor and design. She also recently welcomed her first child and is currently on maternity leave.
Speaker 1:So we're going to talk a lot about that, just exploring the delicate balance between her career, her motherhood and so many other things that a lot of us wonder about when we are kind of traversing through our 20s and our 30s. She also co-runs the lifestyle page, witt and Kels, with her friend Kelsey, where they share everything from inspiration, life hacks to everyday mom moments that bring joy. So if you're a new mom, definitely follow them. But what we love so much about Whitney's journey is how openly she's navigating these transitions from professional to entrepreneur and now adding mom to her growing list of identities. We'll be talking everything about embracing change, finding your authentic path during major life transitions and how motherhood can shape your priorities and perspectives once you enter into that journey. So welcome, whitney. Thank you so much for joining us on Evolve and Repeat.
Speaker 2:Yes, we're so excited, I'm so happy to be here, so let's start with your background.
Speaker 1:I guess this is also my first time meeting Whit Liv does her hair a lot, so is already quite familiar with her journey. I trauma dump regularly. But I guess for all of our listeners and for me, like, let's start with your background, like where you grew up, what your childhood was like and what I guess like your interests were or what kind of like fueled you as you grew up.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I have lore for days as live news. Um, let's see, I'm from a small town right outside of new orleans, louisiana, so I'm from down south, was born and raised there, literally did not have a passport until I graduated from grad school, so like yeah like born and raised there.
Speaker 3:Yeah, so yeah, born and raised in a small town right outside of new orleans called mandeville and I went to school at LSU where I studied industrial and systems engineering. So I'm actually very much a STEM girly. She's a smarty gal. Loved my time at LSU. I did it all. I was like vice president of the College of Engineering. I was vice president of membership and recruitment for my sorority. I did it all. I was one of the first people in my family actually to go to college. Grew up in very much a broken family so that's always fueled me and like wanting to have something better for myself and my future family. But yeah, so I went to LSU and then my mentor at the time he went to Notre Dame for pre-med and he was like Whitney, you need to get out of Louisiana. He was like Whitney, you need to get out of Louisiana. Um, he was like you just need to get out and I was like what do you mean? At the time, y'all, I was literally like a seven-year relationship, like I like, yeah, like.
Speaker 3:I was like, oh, I'm just, I'm gonna, I'm gonna get out of college, I'm gonna marry this guy and this guy. And then my mentor was like no, you need to get out of Louisiana and like go see more because, like I have not left the state of Louisiana. Um. So he was like you should apply to Notre Dame. And I was like what's that? I literally didn't even know like what school was y'all like college? I did not even think about college until I remember my teacher pulling me aside, my senior, and she was like you're smart, you should go to college I was like, oh, maybe.
Speaker 3:yeah, like literally. I was like engineering they make money. Yeah, yeah, why not? That's how it went. But anyways, he told me to apply to Notre Dame and I was telling him how I might want to get my MBA and he was like, well, they have this really unique program where you can get your master's in engineering, technology, entrepreneurship and science and it's pretty much an MBA for really nerdy kids. And I was like I don't know.
Speaker 3:Do I want to take off student loans? Because I worked full-time throughout undergrad? Because I didn't want to. I didn't want to graduate with any debt. I was so scared of debt, yeah, so I was like I have to take all this money.
Speaker 2:I was like, yeah, I was like I've got all this money.
Speaker 3:I don't have family to fall back on. Like what do you mean you want me to do this? But I applied and I remember I took the GMAT. My score was awful but I wrote a kick-ass essay um it's what they.
Speaker 3:It's what they told me about my trauma charm them into a football game, met all the people, charm them. Um yeah, went to the program, remember a week before I was like I'm not gonna do it, I'm gonna stay home. I was comfortable. I was dating a wonderful, wonderful guy. I still think the world of him. Went to Notre Dame, got my master's in all of those things I just said. And while I was there, I made, I co-created, a bike similar to the Peloton, but for cyclists, like outdoor cyclists, and it inclined, it declined, moved side to side all that fun stuff that stationary bikes didn't do, and I made an app and from there that kind of started like my entrepreneurial journey. But a company wanted to me to like make it.
Speaker 2:So when I did that, well, how did you meet john, your lovely husband, mr?
Speaker 3:witt mr witt, yes, yeah, so people that know me, I always call my husband, mr witt um, because john is not a social media dude, he's like super, super private. We're like very different. He like I don't know, he might have like 20 followers on instagram. He uses to send me memes, um. But yeah, I met mr wit aka john um, and that really nerdy program I was talking about. That program only had about 40 kids in it and it was like one year straight where it was like you had a summer semester, a fall semester and a spring semester and when I got to that program I had like a big like I need to be single. I've never.
Speaker 3:I was never single because I the relationship I was in I was in for like seven years so I went to this program and um early found out that they were going to put investment behind the bike I was making and I was like well, I'm not moving back to louisiana. And he's like well, I'm not moving to chicago. And I was like I guess we gotta break up then, because I'm not doing that.
Speaker 2:I just like I went to.
Speaker 3:Notre Dame to really find myself, um, so I was like, love you, so happy for you that you went to St Louisiana. I'm not, yeah, so, um, which takes a lot like good for you for doing that again um, I still think the world yeah, that guy. Um, he was. He was meant for the chapter of my life that he was in. But I offer that and that chapter's closed. Yeah, but, um, yeah, but so much appreciation for him. But I met john in the program, um, and, yeah, I literally fire and ice like I hated him when I met him um, my husband comes from a wonderful family.
Speaker 3:Yeah, um, they're so sweet, so normal, and I did not have that. And he quickly made me realize how much, like I don't know therapy, I needed to do um, but yeah, I met him in the program.
Speaker 3:He came yeah I thought he was really cocky. He is really cocky. I'm like um met him in the program and, yeah, we did like a project together and stuff and he really got how I thought, being both really strategic and creative, and I hate small talk and he like someone that dives really deep and he could keep up with all of that.
Speaker 3:Yeah, loved him for that, but we actually didn't date until the last semester because he like pursued me from the very first semester and I was, like am I gonna be with you because I've been in a relationship for so long that I want to like I miss being with someone, or do I? Really like you. Yeah, those are very different things because I feel like some people jump into relationships because they're really lonely, yeah, you know. Yeah, so, yeah, that's how I met him, and then, yeah, we did long distance.
Speaker 1:I love it. I I love to like your point about how like you're so in tune with your relationships and just how like one relationship served you at one point in your life and you were able to identify that it wasn't serving you. And I feel like sometimes it's easy to get caught up in a relationship and not also focus on, like, what you want out of it. And if it's serving you, it's so powerful that you were able to identify that that relationship wasn't serving you anymore and then you were able to actively like, think through do I want to be with this man because I, you know, was in a relationship for so long, or is he actually like the person for me and do he, does he align with, like, what I'm looking for?
Speaker 3:yes, absolutely. I had like a whole eat, love, pray moment. I went to Thailand for a month in between all of that, because I was with that other guy again for like seven years and we had one break out of the whole year that we were in the program and that that was the summer break I mean the Christmas break and I was like if I go back home to Louisiana I'll take him. I don't. I didn't have family like my traditional family set up. I was like I'm going to want to spend Christmas with him. I spent every Christmas with this guy for seven years and I was like you know, were you dating at this point you?
Speaker 3:weren't. We were, but we weren't. It wasn't like we. He expressed that he liked me and I expressed that I liked him, but I didn't. I was trying to figure things out. It was, like you know, the messy 20s um, it was a situation and like and yeah and like I mean, and when you're breaking off a seven-year relationship, it goes on for a while so yeah, that that was rough.
Speaker 3:Um. So like I was just trying to be as upfront with both of them as possible, as like I need to figure out what I want, yeah, and like where I see myself going, because like I'm I'm all in or like not at all sort of person.
Speaker 3:So yeah, but I realized how much I was missing him when I was in Thailand and I really liked who I was when I was with him and I liked how he pulled out the best of me it was like a no-brainer when I got back to start dating him, although we kept it kind of secret, because there's like a small program people talk and stuff like that, and then you want a professor making comments these two love birds, right, I mean they know. But yeah, um, and we were completely different students like john like literally accepted the job, his job, like the first semester of like, and I was like no, I'm gonna wait till the very end and see like everything that I, that's on the table.
Speaker 3:Yeah, so, yeah, but we decided to do long distance and that's how I ended up in wisconsin. I love that yeah, how?
Speaker 1:yeah, I was gonna. That was gonna be. My next question is how did you, I guess, first start your relationship and how did it progress to you guys deciding that like you wanted to get married and like that whole thing, and like you moving to wisconsin oh my gosh okay, so I I know we're gonna talk about motherhood.
Speaker 3:I didn't want kids or anybody. Yeah so much has changed. I love it um, when you meet the right person, yeah when you meet the right person totally so, like I, when, by the end of you're about to graduate.
Speaker 3:he accepted a job in madison Um epic everyone works in epic Um and my bike was getting funding Um in chicago and they wanted to hire me to keep developing stuff for them. And when I went um with that company I traveled literally every week. I was in Whistler, canada, one week. I was in Frankfurt, germany, one week.
Speaker 3:Oh my gosh, I like I was constantly traveling um doing research, so our weekends he would drive to Chicago or I would drive to Madison, and it made me realize how much I really needed to work on my communication because I this whole time I pretty much was always like in such close proximity with the people I dated. But yeah, he like straight up told me I need to do therapy and like learn how to communicate, because I was really bad at that.
Speaker 3:We love that though he was like you need to figure it out, I was like you're so right.
Speaker 2:The fact that he is emotionally intelligent enough to say that to you is wild.
Speaker 3:That's what happens when you have good parents.
Speaker 2:Like wait what but?
Speaker 3:yeah. So we did long distance for a bit and then, I'll be honest, the thought of marriage didn't really cross my mind, but the thought of leaving the relationship didn't, either didn't really cross my mind, but the thought of leaving the relationship didn't either. I was very much at home with him and I felt really safe. And that's kind of scary because I felt like, because I needed to go to therapy. You're always looking for like oh, but you need, like this super deep passion and this fire yeah, we're like actually no, like it's okay for people to, like you know, reassure you.
Speaker 3:That's like very yes exactly in a relationship. I feel like these days, some people like they like plan out their engagement and all of that like down to every single detail.
Speaker 3:Yeah, that didn't happen for us. Like I didn't even pick out my ring, like he like did all of that himself, yeah, but when he did it I was like, yeah, absolutely there was no doubt, like when he did it, but we didn't like really talk about it that much. Um, but we also have to touch on when we got engaged. So, yeah, we only did long distance for about a year. Um, I didn't even live in chicago for a whole year because the pandemic hit.
Speaker 3:Um, yeah, the roni man I was living in the city and when we got engaged, I remember we went to his parents house in florida to go celebrate and that's when the pandemic hit and we literally could not come back because they were like shutting down like some of the airports and stuff and we got like stuck in florida.
Speaker 1:And good place to get stuck we were probably in florida at the same time then, because I was literally on spring break in miami when that was happening.
Speaker 3:Yes, yes, yeah I was like we need to get home like immediately his sister was on spring break with her friends and we're like trying to celebrate our engagement and like we were just like well, this is kind of weird, but like uh, so we're like doing that. But y'all keep in mind, and then, at the same time, the riots in Chicago and I lived downtown Y'all this is like a perfect storm. I live downtown in Chicago, riots are happening right below me and I remember calling my boss and being like so like I don't really want to come back, cause like that's not safe. Like I'm in my twenties, like I just graduated college. I'm not like a year out from grad school and I'm in my 20s like I just graduated college. I'm like a year out from grad school and I'm like you want me to come back and live in my apartment by myself.
Speaker 1:This is all like shaking me up, yeah, and he's like you know what?
Speaker 3:you should just move in with your fiance. I was like, I was like wait. So we went from long distancing each other, maybe once a month, twice a month, to oh, we're quarantining together.
Speaker 3:Now we're diving, and I was very much and like I'm a southern girl through and through, I'm a bit traditional, and I was like, oh, I'm gonna wait until we get married to move in. I was one of those and I was like, well, you know, I'll just move in with you, yeah. So I literally went to florida, got stuck there, came back, packed up all my stuff and then I moved to wisconsin and I had no friends, nothing like I I'm just starting and you couldn't meet anyone because it was the pandemic. Yeah.
Speaker 1:So how did that whole process go, like you? So you came here and I guess, like being so traditional and not thinking that you were going to move in with somebody before marriage, to now, like you're engaged, you're moving in with somebody, you're in a new city, I'm sure that like really shook you up.
Speaker 3:Yeah, absolutely. And I will say, like john's mom was such a rock for me.
Speaker 3:Laura, if you're listening to this, you've, like, cured my mommy issues but like you have to keep in mind that like I didn't really have again like traditional parents or family to lean on, so like because I grew up in such like and I've done a lot of work, so that's why I'm able to like talk about it but, like, since I've grown up in such a, you know, like a broken, untraditional household, it made me a bit more strict about how I envisioned my life, where I was like, oh, I'm going to go to school, then I'm gonna graduate, and then I'm gonna get married and I'm gonna have a kid, and like I was like very like regimented um, and you know, god laughs when you have a plan sort of thing, but like um, yeah, so that was a bit of a shock, having to like pack everything and move, but like she was there for me and like the changes a lot, like someone I could talk to, and and again, john was just like we really worked on communication.
Speaker 3:I was really up front. Hey, I'm feeling insecure about x or you're freaking me out. I kind of want to run away right now, but I can't because literally the whole world is shut down. Um, just like being really transparent with each other. I think what was hardest for me, though, when coming to wisconsin was I was fully immersed in his world and quickly pulled out of mine, because I did not ever envision myself in wisconsin. I'm a girl's girl, y'all. I literally was vp of my sorority when grad school. I was like helping them with recruitment. I love connecting with other people, and I was quickly thrown into wisconsin of all places sorry.
Speaker 1:Well, yeah, it's kind of random.
Speaker 3:It's kind of random places and I had did not know a single soul besides my now husband, and he is not a social butterfly if y'all have.
Speaker 2:He's pretty stoic, he's like hi bye, he's fine, you can talk, though, once you get to know him, you can talk.
Speaker 3:But yeah, that was like really hard, like coming here and not knowing a soul, and it took me about a year and a half before I met people here did you meet kelse first, then?
Speaker 2:or? Kelse is one of the first people that I met crazy she was my pt.
Speaker 3:Oh my gosh, I love that.
Speaker 2:I hurt my neck in yoga and I went in and then I talked to the ear off for three hours and then, oh my god, nate, her husband was just like um, can y'all like get a like a room? Y'all should like actually become friends because like every time I'd come in, I would talk her head off for like three hours y'all, I worked from home yeah, I had like no interaction with like people, yeah.
Speaker 3:But I was like, yeah, that was stage five clinger to the first girl that I met that I liked I love that Well and I feel like I struggle with that too.
Speaker 1:Like work from home is very much like a siloed individual thing that it takes so much energy, and like I admire your ability to like get out there and meet new friends we talk about this all the time on the podcast. Like you're in college, you have all the structure, you have these friends that you're around, and then you know you leave college and then you're kind of like on your own, especially if you're moving to like a new place like.
Speaker 1:Wisconsin or you know you get a job in a different city or a different state like actually getting out there. So I guess, like, for our listeners that are also struggling with that, how do you, I guess, have conversations with yourself to like encourage yourself, to like go out there and like meet all of these different people? And how did you build your circle and all of these different female relationships that you have in Wisconsin now?
Speaker 3:Yeah, I have the best circle now, but it wasn't always that way. I I think a lot of people sometimes are like oh, woe is me. Like it's kind of like the mindset of oh, I wish my husband bring me on a date, but he's not, and I'm like, are you bringing yourself on dates period, um? Or like, are you showing up as a friend that you would want to find like you? Need to bring yourself on yoga dates you need to bring yourself to get coffee.
Speaker 1:You need to have conversations you need to have yourself on yoga dates. You need to bring yourself to get coffee. You need to have tough conversations.
Speaker 3:You need to have tough conversations with yourself. If you met you, would you want to hang out with you and I feel like you're always waiting for that person to unlock your life. Where it's like no, you need to show up for yourself first, girl, you need to love yourself first. So that was an attitude I had, like about snaps but that was a conversation I had with myself was I was like no, I'm going to bring myself to yoga classes. I'm going to bring myself to get coffee. I'm going to be freaking fun for me. I'm going to have dance parties with myself. Yeah, I'm going to have wine nights with myself and like, read my book and do my journal. So I really worked on me. And then, when you are showing up as that version, I really think every like you become a magnet and those other people will find you. Um I. But you have to put yourself out there and just know that you're not gonna click with everyone. Um, so I got on bumble bff. I got horror stories for days. We can, we can.
Speaker 1:I tried it once and then I was like never again, that's um I had, I and I also have had really like positive ones too um but yeah, that that could be.
Speaker 3:Um, what is it? Uh, we could do a podcast after dark or not um but um. I put myself out there and that's how I met people and then just asking oh, like bring, ask them to bring a friend because you clicked with them, yeah, you might like their friend. So that's kind of how I expanded my circle here, um, but yeah, fast forward to my probably one of my deepest friendships here, kels.
Speaker 3:For winning Kels, I met her at, you know, at a chiropractor office of all places and that's's my point is like, even if you don't find them online which I know some people turn to.
Speaker 3:If you meet someone and you think they're cool, like literally, I would sit in a yoga class. I'd be like, hey, I like you, like, I think we get along, we both like yoga. Like, literally just say it and like, and if they think you're weird, I'm just going to sell them my Robins. Like, let them like, okay, yeah, one step closer to finding someone else for you. Um, so I would do that. If I found someone on social media, I messaged them. Hayley is one of my other good friends. I literally messaged her. Um, but then when kelsey and I decided to make wit and kelsey, that's when I found my friend group, um, because I was connected with so many other girls in the area and I just got coffee with them and and like events and events and honestly thank god for social media, because I feel like that's really how like bumble didn't do it for me, not even like not, I mean yoga classes.
Speaker 3:Yeah, somewhat like it was truly social media. I'm putting yourself out there and I would say, hey, I know this sounds kind of creepy, but like I, like you, I think we'd get along on x. Can we grab a coffee?
Speaker 1:That's literally how we met Well kind of I love that Like social kind of social media. I was trying to recruit her for network marketing All the way back in the day. That's another podcast after a dark episode. But yeah, we just like stayed following each other and like we're friends and like if there was not social media I feel like we would be in such different places in our lives For sure, especially.
Speaker 2:We've met so many friends through social media, so many connections through social media. How did we even meet the first time Coffee, I don't even know. I think so, yeah, but it's just wild how many connections you can make through there and how many, because I feel like you have also, like you said, you've attracted your perfect tribe, like you have friends that are in like design and then just like creatives and that like relate to you so much so I just think that's so cool and I think it's also you have to like don't put yourself in a box either like I have friends for like different things.
Speaker 3:I mean, if y'all like follow me, like I hang out with like very, they're everyone's so different. Like, um, I have like my mom friends. I have like my design friends. I have friends that are like even a bit older than me that I love hanging out with because they bring like another perspective, because I mean, yes, when you get older, you've just experienced more things and it's really good to bounce things off of them. And my workout friends, like I, have friends for different things and I think that's okay. You don't have to be best, best friends with everyone. You can have friends for different things and they provide value in different aspects of your life.
Speaker 1:That's so insightful too, because I feel like like I've dealt with some friends in my life that have been not so good friends, so then it's hard to kind of put yourself out there and develop those friendships. But, like you said, they don't always have to be like so deep where I know, like your inner deepest, most secrets, to not like to be able to go work out with you or get coffee with you.
Speaker 3:So that's, that's something that's like really yeah, you can have someone that you just like talk about. You know, like you have, like your work friends, or you have someone that, like you're inspired by how professional they are, like that's. That can be someone in your circle. You can have someone that motivates you, you know, when you work out that's your workout buddy. You don't have to like trauma dump on everyone unless you're me, I mean the same like absolutely so.
Speaker 1:Then you moved to wisconsin. Like obviously you have your group of friends, like you start the page with witt and kelse, all the things. What made you want to start your uh, malish home business and like actually like fully jump into that whole world? Yes, um.
Speaker 3:So wittitten Kels was really just supposed to be like for funsies and I, if like so, I work a very high stress corporate job for a brand we all know and love. I love my corporate job. I love my corporate job. But I'm surrounded by engineers, analysts, designers, marketing the list goes on. Every day, um, and I just wanted some, a space where I can be a bit more of a creative. Um, because I have to be strategic and so like, think through every little detail every day, and I just needed an outlet. So, and I knew I could also connect with other women, and I love that Kelsey and I are so different yet so much alike at the same time that I feel like any woman in the area could either relate to either of us and what we're going through.
Speaker 3:Now my business, the Malish Home. The reason I decided to start that is what I've quickly realized about partnerships is that I tend to take on the strategic role, naturally because of my corporate job, but I'm actually creative at heart. But I'm actually creative at heart and my husband and I wanted something that's kind of just ours. And my husband met me. We had the same background and I think your partner's able to unlock parts of you because they just know you more that we wanted something that was ours. So that was one bit. The second bit was when I started sharing our home build. Our followers loved it and I was like, well, I'm going to eat up this whole page just talking about design and house and stuff all day and I know they love the unhinged trans and what and calls and I was like I can't just like you know unhinged trans and houses.
Speaker 3:So, I made the milestone for that. And then third was I also need an outlet because during that time John and I lost our first pregnancy. I also need an outlet because during that time John and I lost our first pregnancy and I was like I need an outlet and I was doing some shadow work if you're familiar with shadow work.
Speaker 2:Yeah, we've done shadow work.
Speaker 3:I was doing shadow work and I was like trying to think of what did I like to do when I was younger and you know, growing up in a broken home, really all I was my like my very small environment within that and I remember like going to my friends houses and like cleaning their rooms and like organizing their stuff and like totally that is like totally me, I would like clean literally. They'd be like invite whitney over, she'll clean your room like like that's like why is that shelby?
Speaker 3:like literally um, we're doing that and rearranging the room, and I used to do that too yeah and um and even in like college. You know when I was on a super strict budget because I put myself through school, I've just.
Speaker 3:Environment has always been so important to me that it was like an outlet it was like an outlet for me, um to, and really like healing at the same time, because I felt like I was like tapping into something that lit me up when I was younger that I haven't really done in a while. Other people were super interested in it and then it was something that my husband and I were able to build together. So, although we don't see him a lot on the Malish home we have, we have our little board of advisor meeting every Saturday and Sunday it's a two hour car car ride.
Speaker 3:I love that so, yeah, that's what led me to starting malish home was, yeah, you know, just all of that put together, I was like we need to do it well and it's kind of like a perfect storm too.
Speaker 1:What is that? Do you know what I'm talking about when I say, like that japanese like yes, yes, yeah, where?
Speaker 1:it's like it's something that you can make money, it's something that is needed, something that you're also super passionate about. It just seems like a perfect storm to come together because, like you said, like if you are an engineer, like that's what you're going to school for and then you're surrounded by all these people at your corporate job, you have like part of you that's left going like unfulfilled. So to have like a creative outlet. I am so similar to you it's I can't even like. Having that creative freedom allows you to come back home to yourself and like who you were, like you said, as a kid, having that you know you're, you're playing with crayons and markers and like all the things to. Now, as an adult, it's same but different, because it's a creative outlet for you to like express yourself and what makes you passionate and and all those things.
Speaker 3:So I think that that's incredible and I think with some people, for guys like I went to school for entrepreneurship. So like I, literally when I worked, when I was at Notre Dame, I worked in their idea center and I was helping other students start their own businesses. So, like I was, I feel like I've always helped other people with their dreams, but I never took a step back and was like, well, what do I want to do? I've been working for these companies, helping them develop new products, helping them develop all this new stuff, but what do I want to build that's like actually mine, that like another brand isn't slapping their stuff on it? Um, so yeah, I've. It was a no brainer to take the jump and make another account.
Speaker 2:When it comes to all that, what's been the most challenging aspect of building your own business and how have you worked through it?
Speaker 3:as far as like the Malish Home goes, oh gosh, there's like so many highs and lows, so I will say Malish Home. It's been rapid growth.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, I feel like it's really grown so fast.
Speaker 1:I checked your page and I was like oh my God, she's almost at 10K, yeah.
Speaker 3:And I think I had a year doing it in like a few weeks.
Speaker 2:It's only been a year. That's crazy. Yeah, because I found out.
Speaker 3:I've been growing Malish Home as long as I've been pregnant.
Speaker 2:That's wild.
Speaker 3:Which is also a bit serendipitous. It was my outlet for you know my grieving for my miscarriage, but the week I will answer your question but the week that I had my brand shoot from. Allish Home because I remember I was like I have to do a brand shoot, I want a logo, I want the aesthetic.
Speaker 2:All of that because.
Speaker 3:I haven't been able to lean into my creative side. I've always been like so value and like strategy, where I was like I want to lean to my creative side. Yeah, remember I had that brand shoot, um, and I took a test and I was like, oh my god, we're like literally like the day before the brand shoot and I was, and I and I was like we already, like we, we did our LLC, like I already started building the website like what do we do? And John was like build it like.
Speaker 2:I love that.
Speaker 3:Yes, yeah, and I'm like, oh, I don't know. That's a lot like. I'm still grieving. I still have my very demanding nine to five, yeah, when Kels is running. I haven't even gotten to the things that I do at Notre Dame still like. I did a panel this week. She's a busy woman, I'm, I'm busy and you know we're like moving into our house because it was still like our first year in our house and we were only in it for like three months at the time.
Speaker 3:But I was like, what do I do? And he's like, no, build it, absolutely build it. So, yeah, I think what was really hard for me is that I know a little bit too much. Yeah, yeah, because my corporate job I work with affiliates a lot. Well, I'm exposed to affiliates a lot and I sometimes get so wrapped up in the strategy that I'm like no, you did this because you want to be a creative and so that John can lead the strategy. So I think the hardest bit is like I feel like I'm like playing with the right and left side of my brain constantly, but I guess, like my thing is like you just have to do, you just have to do yeah and figure out along the way.
Speaker 2:Um well, it helps having a supportive partner too, like mr witt and you just have to.
Speaker 3:In social media, you just have to be consistent like there is no, like there's no days off. I hate to say that.
Speaker 2:I don't think that sounds really toxic, but like, but like, really like if you're one, if you want to build you have got to grind, and I was doing that while pregnant yeah, like, I really like, I was like, and you show must go on, which we'll talk about.
Speaker 3:Yeah, the show must go on like um, yeah, so like trying to grow a business and then you have imposter syndrome and all of that.
Speaker 3:But for me it was really just like fighting the strategic and the creative side constantly, and there's a billion and one things you could be doing. When you know enough about business, you're like, oh, I need to create contracts so I don't get sued like that's what I mean by like I know too much that I'm, so I don't get sued Like that's what I mean by like I know too much that I'm like I don't want to get sued.
Speaker 1:That's so crazy. That's so crazy that you say that too, because I feel like I can relate a lot to like the strategic and the outside Cause.
Speaker 1:I work in influencer marketing and I'm managing influencers the entire time, so I'm like I know the behind the scenes of business. But then it's like but you want to be creative, so pulling yourself out of that. I guess, like when it comes to like building your, your business, how were you able cause social media? I feel like there's so many social media gurus and people telling you like how to grow and how to like be successful. How did you like tune out the noise and really like figure out what works for your online business on social media?
Speaker 3:yeah, um, there is so much bs out there like a lot, I think, there. But there are good social media coaches as well online. Yeah, um, for me, I focused on creating real value for people Like I, if I was. For example, it's a home account, so I was like, when someone is creating their home, or like furnishing their home, what are their pain points?
Speaker 3:And that led that helped me figure out what content I wanted to make, because it's nothing if you're not creating value for someone you have to create value before it's pretty, so I not creating value for someone yeah, um, you have to create value before it's pretty, so I would always like do that, and then I would do branding shoots to make sure it was aesthetic and like coming together nicely. Um, the social media coaches there is so much crap out there, but there is one that I like and I want to give it as a recommendation if anyone's like trying to build stuff. Um, I love julie.
Speaker 1:Julia broom I, I literally was thinking about her and I was like I think she's gonna say julia, because I love her stuff.
Speaker 3:Her stuff is it it?
Speaker 2:yeah, pull it up for me.
Speaker 3:I need to see I love her stuff um and I'm someone. Oh, I'll show you okay, um, I, I love her, but she, she knows her stuff, um, and she's the only one I would recommend actually following, as someone who I mean you're, you work in marketing, so you, she makes it stupid simple but on top of that, you can tell when people buy followers.
Speaker 3:You can tell when people buy engagement I can tell right away yeah, you can show me a page and I know instantly and it's a lot of the social media coaches she's strictly that's t social media coach. She does bio audit. She does. Oh, she's cute, yeah she's.
Speaker 1:She's beautiful, wow, but she's smarty I think that's a really important point too, about like focusing on adding value first, because I feel like so many people on social media like the world has just become so oversaturated that if you're not first thinking about how you're serving somebody else and you're more so coming from like I want to do this and I want to be an influencer, and all these things that's where a lot of entitlement can come. That's where a lot of like getting stuck in your head when you're thinking first about like how it's portraying you versus how, like what is this account here to serve? What is this account here to serve?
Speaker 1:what is this business here to serve? Why am I creating a personal brand? Is it because I want everybody to suck up to me and I want free products? Or am I doing it because, like, I actually want to serve other people and like use this as an outlet and like this is actually a passion for me?
Speaker 1:so I feel like you've just got that on lock and you're always like serving your audience, you're always providing free value, even though, like you probably at this point, like could put a price point on anything, that because you put so much effort and work into building what you have, that the fact that you're still turning around and giving people like free advice is also something to be like, celebrated and admired yeah and that's.
Speaker 3:and then I think the free advice thing definitely is something that speaks to like younger whitney of. I didn't grow up with a lot of resources and stuff like that that. I don't want people to feel limited by their budget to create a beautiful home, so that speaks to like that shadow work Definitely. But besides value, I think what's also important is genuine connections and I like to. I want to shout out my Whitney, kells, gurley's because I feel like those, like the women, that it's a much, much smaller community. When you take the time to get to know your following, it's so powerful, like like literally two followers on Wittenkels the other day, like I had them over at my house. I'm like I'm literally inviting people over at my house with my newborn. They could be serial killers or not.
Speaker 3:Sorry, don't, do not freak out if you're listening to this, but like um or like, if I see like of all or like in public y'all, the wake house is not. It's not a big account.
Speaker 2:I'm not trying to make it sound like that, but you guys have such a great community like they'll be like.
Speaker 3:I know you, you're my, you're my instagram best friend. I'm like, I am, they're like, and then I'm like, and then like. I talked to them in anthropology megan um, for you know, two hours on the floor with their child I do that in public all the time um. So if you see me, please say hi, um. But yeah, I just genuine connections are so important to anyone creating a following. I would say anyone that you are building a connection with make a close friend. Make a close friend, I mean, y'all see that.
Speaker 3:We see the close friends babe, I love a close friends account for you know those followers that you're really building a connection with and really let them in and support them when they're going through stuff. I think I bonded with a lot of women talking being open about my miscarriage and being open about why I created my account. Um, it makes people feel seen, it humanizes you In connection, and then the day will always find connection of value, always when aesthetics come, you know, later. But yeah, when you can do all three, boom, boom, yeah. And I need the reminder too.
Speaker 2:But I always say I'm like connection value first, aesthetics can come later, yeah well, I love your ability to like, open up and that's why so many people relate to you and love you and kelse like on your page and why you have so much engagement, because you actually care and you're willing to like, open up and be relatable which not a lot of people can do so yeah, I mean a little too relatable no, I love that about you.
Speaker 2:That's like one of my favorite traits about you, though seriously should we get into motherhood? Sure should we go into the next one here. Well, congrats on little mav. He's a little cutie, a little chunk, yes a little chunker. How has this chapter been for you? How are you feeling? How are you doing?
Speaker 3:um, I will always. I'm like it is the biggest blessing. It is the happiest I have ever been, ever, ever been. It has also been the hardest thing I've ever done in my life. It is definitely humbled me and I think this chapter has been really interesting for me because I didn't really experience motherhood growing up, because I had a broken relationship with both my father and my mother, so like I didn't really know what to expect out of this chapter. I didn't even know I wanted kids until like after I married John, like when I met him, I was like I don't, I don't want kids. I'm gonna, um, I'll probably become like ceo of a company and like I like literally haha, but like I'm gonna be ceo of like a really big company and that's what I'm gonna do, um, but this chapter has fulfilled me in ways that no amount of work or achieve other achievement ever ever could. So so happy, but this is very hard.
Speaker 1:So I mean, obviously we're not moms yet, so we don't know what it's like to be a mom, but I guess how has like being somebody that's so career driven and wants to really put herself out there, like you are doing so many things right now? How has like becoming a mom shaped, whether it be like your corporate career or like your businesses you're building, or even like your relationship, like in your home, with your husband? Like how has becoming a mother shaped different areas of your life?
Speaker 2:Gosh, I feel like from all the clients I talked to too on a day to day basis, like so many people are in that headspace Like I don't know what I'm going to do, I'm like focused on my career. I don't know if I'm going to do, I'm like focused on my career. I don't know if I can have kids, like so I'm interested to see what you say. I need your advice on this.
Speaker 3:I would say. I was talking to my sister-in-law about this. She was like I don't want to lose. She doesn't have kids yet either. And I commented and I said it too lose myself to motherhood, yeah I don't, I don't want to lose myself. I don't want it to become my whole personality, which, now that I'm, you know, in it right now, I wouldn't say it's my whole personality. I've just unlocked another version of me like another side of me. Just like you know, you have corporate wit, you have wife wit, your friend wit yeah no, I am also mom wit yeah, to this beautiful baby boy.
Speaker 3:Um, and it's just. Another part of me is unlocked, but also motherhood has completely transformed me, where I'm not the same person that I was before, but that actually really excites me. I don't know who she is yet I'm gonna be honest yeah, um, because I'm in.
Speaker 3:I'm in the trenches yeah, yeah, um but I'm really excited to meet her and that's something I like tell myself regularly. It's like I'm it's very the word I think about when I think about motherhood is very like becoming like you're not. You're not, maybe you are losing yourself, like I think that's kind of the point yeah, you're, you're truly evolving, like you're truly evolving as a person, and I think we's kind of the point yeah, you're, you're truly evolving like you're truly evolving, as a person and I think we just need to embrace it.
Speaker 3:It's a chapter I will.
Speaker 2:I mean you're a mom forever but I mean yeah, but you're evolving into like a new season, and that's okay, that's like what life is for yeah, I think that's the scariest thing about the thought of becoming a mom is like losing your old self but it's you can't really think of it as a negative thing. It's a positive. Well, it's like when you think about like when you graduate high school.
Speaker 3:You're not a high schooler anymore that's so true, but you still have appreciation for that chapter yeah just like I still have appreciation for college me I have I have appreciation for chicago city ratwit, you know yes, yeah, like we evolve and it's okay, and there's chapters you can appreciate there are chapters you can appreciate. Some you just don't want to talk about ever again no, literally like, yeah, I'm like, if you knew me, if you knew me two years ago, you didn't know me no, no, and that's okay, yeah that's completely, and I think we need to be more forgiving with ourselves.
Speaker 3:I mean just forgiving, but it's like it's okay.
Speaker 1:It's literally fine, and I think it's so healthy to that Like you're, like I don't know what, like who mom wit is and you're you don't have this expectation to have it all figured out, and you know, because this is a new chapter of life for you and I think a lot of people get really caught up in being hard on themselves and not having everything all figured out in certain aspects of their life. But by giving yourself grace and you're like this is a new chapter for me. I've never been a mom before. I've never navigated what this looks like.
Speaker 3:It's extremely healthy to have that mindset that I'm so excited to meet Whit Mom and continue developing her, her, but also reminding yourself and knowing that it's okay that you don't know what that role looks like fully yet yeah, and I think it's also like it's okay if your career aspirations change, it's okay if your interests change, like all of those things are completely okay and like that's the advice I would also give, like my younger self, because I felt like I was, like I don't want to, I'm scared to be a mom because I'm scared I'm gonna give up on my career dreams. I'm like, actually, your career dreams just changed and that's okay. And I still have dreams professionally. They're just, they're rooted in more balance, because I want to be here for this little boy in ways that I wasn't. Yeah, that I didn't have that, and that's really important to me.
Speaker 3:So how didn't have that? And that's really important to me.
Speaker 3:So how can I have that and still fulfill my need for, you know, aspirations professionally and you're just finding that balance and it might not be exactly this title, which is why I'm now and like somewhat an entrepreneur yes, you are, you are fully but like things, you know, things just change and that's okay and I think that's like the biggest thing and that's what I would tell, like anyone that's thinking about you know, wanting to become a mom, and what they're worried about is it's very becoming and like don't let it scare you. And in fact it's, it's really freaking exciting because you're like dating yourself and figuring out who you are all over again. Yeah, exactly.
Speaker 1:So how has becoming a mother also shaped your relationship with your husband? Because I feel like, especially for the stage that Liv and I are at right now, like we're both in a long-term relationships, definitely nearing engagement at least we are on my side and then not only just navigating a marriage, but then also becoming a mom, Like how has that whole dynamic like shaped itself for you?
Speaker 3:Yeah, um, john and I, we go on a lot of car rides, like I said. So we we love our deep chats.
Speaker 2:I love that, though, that you make an effort to do that.
Speaker 3:Yeah, we have really cause. When you're in a car, you can't you can't run away. You're here, you got it, you got it.
Speaker 3:No, literally, that's what it is Put the phone away but we have said that we having a child and again, I I don't want to say that having children is for everyone. I'm talking about my experience but we were saying how, like, because john and I are both extremely career driven like, I haven't even touched on his career and you know all of that, but we're both extremely career driven and we both make comfortable money for people our age and we still weren't happy, like, yeah, I think that was the biggest aha we had was like we could afford to do things. We have no time. We have zero time. Like during the week week we felt like roommates, um, at times and that's why we prioritize our weekend so heavily.
Speaker 3:But, like everything looks successful you were able to build a house in your 20s whitney wow, like, oh, like. Like people look at those things and I'm like, but having mav has fulfilled us and has grown us so much closer in ways that our career achievements couldn't, and our relationship is so much deeper now that we are entering this new chapter together. I love seeing him as a dad Like he is an amazing dad. At times I would even cry, I'd be like. He's better at this than me, but he is such a good dad and like that just makes you like fall in love with your partner again. But at like a but even like more deeper.
Speaker 3:Yeah, yeah, for sure, yeah and it's such a beautiful thing. My tip for new parents is like anything said at 3 and 4 am like don't, it doesn't count it doesn't count um, yeah and, but yeah, and then there's just a lot of apologies, you know, yeah, but communication communication learning to communicate before you have a child like every day. He's like. He's like. You need to communicate. I'm like, I'm trying. I bet.
Speaker 1:It's so like healing for you to to like be a new mom and like speaking about your experience, like coming from a broken home to now be entering into this version of your life, where you get to witness your partner being an incredible dad and you get to build that home together, like for your son.
Speaker 2:I appreciate that advice, though, because I feel like I go back and forth like do I want to have kids? Is it going to affect, like, the relationship? Is it going to affect my career in ways that I don't want it to? But like hearing you say that, where it's going to just like elevate you and you get to become a different version of you, is just like huge.
Speaker 3:Well and also to that point. So I will say it's made my relationship deeper. But, career wise, it has motivated me in ways that, like I realized that kind of how vain my last like why I wanted to grow was before. I was like, oh, I want this title, I want this, but now you're like more driven by. I want this because I want my child to see like a mom that it that's still following her dreams. Yeah, I want my child, I want to provide this experience for my child. It's, it's just, it's really motivated me in ways that I didn't have before. So don't let it scare you, it's just again becoming, but it's very, it's very much that it's just unlocking like a new way of like looking at things and a new way of like motivating you in life, a whole new perspective.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I guess we can dive into like some more rapid fire questions now. So I know habits are so important to who you are as a person in any stage of life. So with somebody that's running these businesses and somebody who also is a mom, you also are prioritizing your relationship, your physical health. There's just so many different areas of life. So I guess, like what is one small habit or maybe a couple habits that really serve you in the area of life that you're in currently?
Speaker 3:yeah, so I like to do a lot of like if y'all are familiar with, like higher self or future self work.
Speaker 2:Yes, girl, yep love it um one of my favorite, one of my favorite books is the mountain?
Speaker 3:is you have, you have? No good what's really really good okay you need to look into that also I mean mountain jews, like very kind higher self, or like I love david goggin. I'm sorry, can't hurt me like that. That and he's just mean. But I think you need both tough love um, but I as a habit I try to do is um, I think it's really, really easy to let your little inner bitch come out. Yeah, yes, I sit in my sauna and I just sweat out my little inner bitch.
Speaker 2:I love that and.
Speaker 3:I try to visualize how would Whitney, like I think of, where do I want to be five, 10 years from now? How would she be showing up, what, what, what does her day look like? What is she eating, what is she listening to, what are the sort of people she is surrounding herself with? And I do that a lot, where I'm like, okay, because you want to lay in bed and rot, and there's time and place to rot in bed, absolutely you do that, but it's not every day and it's very much 80-20 where I'm like okay, how do I need to show up for to be that person today? So I'm like, okay, like hire self.
Speaker 3:Whitney is listen. I love my Christian music. It puts me in a good headspace. I'll be listening to my Christian music. I'll be listening to an inspirational podcast. I'll be listening to an audio book. I'm going to go for a walk because I love myself and I want to spend time with my child. I'm going to work out, and then I'm going to go for a walk because I love myself and I want to spend time with my child. I'm going to work out and then I'm going to work on my business. And then another habit I do is what is something that tomorrow Whitney will thank today, whitney, for to get you to just cross that one more thing off of your to-do list. Like you know that you would actually dread tomorrow, but if you could get it off today.
Speaker 2:I love that, yeah. Period, period I'm like today. I love that, yeah. So a lot of our listeners are navigating their 20s and 30s, trying to figure out who they want to be. So how have your various roles shaped your sense of?
Speaker 3:self kind of think of, like this quote that I had with my therapist, because I feel like when you're in your 20s you mess up a lot.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah, for sure, and.
Speaker 3:I'm someone that like, wants to be like morally perfect, but like we're human, yeah, like that's not going to happen. Something that I've told myself to give myself grace through each season is you don't know something is a value of yours until you do something that's against it and you sit with it.
Speaker 2:So, like Whitney's, got the wisdom.
Speaker 3:But I like I was thinking like because y'all, like, in undergrad I was in a seven-year relationship, you know, I got to grad school and I was out of that and I was like I'm on a date and I was like, oh, I dated like too fast, I didn't like that. And I was like, oh, and I like, and I would like literally like like have a little minty bee about it and I was like so upset about it.
Speaker 3:Yeah, we've all been there where we've like dated or shown up in a situation that just you're like what the heck was.
Speaker 2:I thinking, what was I thinking?
Speaker 3:And then, you just, and then you, but you just like spiral and you think about it all the time, overthinking it, what I should have done. And you like hate yourself for it. Yeah you do. And then I remember I was like sitting in therapy. I was like I just if I messed up, and she was like OK, like you're in your 20s, whitney, you're like, you're literally in your 20s in the whole grand scheme of life. You were a child and she was so right, she was so right.
Speaker 3:You're literally a child, yeah, and I'm like, yeah, fair, um, and then I've, so that's just kind of been my mantra, my like mantra, mantra, sorry I went to school.
Speaker 2:I went to school in louisiana but I it's.
Speaker 3:It's exactly that you don't know something isn't a value verse until you do something that's against is a value verse until you do something that's against it and then it doesn't sit right. Yeah, and then I'm just like noted yeah, and then you know you might mess up again.
Speaker 2:I don't let it go over three times I was just gonna say, like we have to remember too, that we're all living life for the first time like I think that goes hand in hand with that advice right there, but what?
Speaker 1:were you gonna say Just like how intentional you're being?
Speaker 1:Like I feel like a lot of people aren't extremely intentional about how they go about life and obviously, like you said, like when God has a plan, like he's gonna laugh in your face, but being intentional about like the steps that you're taking and also sitting with with emotions, I feel like there's a huge gap in our society with people not being emotionally intelligent enough to guide themselves.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and it feels. Yeah, like you have not like it figured, it figured it out but like you have trust in yourself and trust in your ability to navigate those different values and those different beliefs, like as you kind of approach like your 20s and your 30s. So self-awareness, yeah, self-awareness, and just being like extremely intelligent with your emotions and being able to sit with those, because if you can't how do I want to say this like your life runs you versus. Like you because, like you're never allowed or you're never going to be able to have like 100% control over your life, Like life is just going to be life. But the more that you take these different tools and like your values and you are more comfortable with, like sitting with yourself, it's a lot easier on yourself to trust in where you're going.
Speaker 2:I want to know this one, though what's the biggest comfort zone you've pushed yourself to break out of recently?
Speaker 1:She's pretty not in her comfort zone.
Speaker 3:That's true. I've always sought out discomfort.
Speaker 1:Like.
Speaker 3:I remember when I took my job in Chicago from Notre Dame, they were like, why did you accept this job? It was way lower than any of my other offers. Actually, my lowest offer, oh, wow, yeah, okay, my lowest offer. And I was like, because I knew I'd be presenting to a CEO, I knew I'd be traveling by myself and I literally just got a passport. I knew I'd be doing long distance. Yeah, I knew I'd be living in a city by myself, pretty much. I had a roommate but she traveled. She traveled all the time that. I was like I think you need to let yourself be uncomfortable and actually this new phase that I'm in as a mom, my husband looked at me. He's like we've been so comfortable and like we need to be uncomfortable again because it just like awakened something in you.
Speaker 3:Yeah, that grit, soul searching, all of that. It draws you closer to, for me, my faith. It draws me closer to the people that really matter, things that really matter so like you have to seek out discomfort, and that can mean a bunch of different things. Yeah, financially that could be, you know, making a big life change like getting married, but have you been putting that off like something like that? Um, I'm not saying it should like solve all your problems but like, really like what what is scaring you right now?
Speaker 3:run towards it, yeah, um, but I would say probably the biggest discomfort thing is um. For me right now is I'm working on communication a lot more um in this chapter. I know I've done a lot of work on communication but, um, becoming a mom, you have to really communicate because it's just there's so many things going on with your hormone levels and stuff postpartum that you have to be very transparent with your circle yeah during this time or else they're not gonna understand.
Speaker 3:They can't read your mind, so you need to express and even when you do communicate, they probably they still might not understand. So you also need to give them grace, but you also need to give yourself grace.
Speaker 1:So you've been really open with your journey, like becoming a new mom and like postpartum depression. So I guess, like what has that all looked like for you and how are you navigating that part?
Speaker 3:Yeah, so I mean, I actually had a video go viral about my depression. It's very relatable. I was not expecting that that was like, so for those unfamiliar with it, I post I made a video at 4 am when I was pumping on my spectra.
Speaker 2:Oh, I know what you're talking about Okay, it's like at a million views or something right now.
Speaker 3:Yeah, 4 am literally in bed but crying, and I was like my body cannot tell the difference between being chased by a bear and like using my effing spectra um and um. From that I found out that I have deemer. Don't ask me what it stands for, I always say it wrong, but it's pretty much like um depression that can be triggered whenever you're pumping, breastfeeding during the letdown I didn't even know that was a thing and I would get this like overwhelming sensation of like wanting to run away, feeling disgusting, like again, really dark trigger warning with just like wanting to just like disappear.
Speaker 3:Every time I pumped and breastfed, um, it was just awful, like it again, it didn't matter if I was pumping, it didn't matter if I was breastfeeding, it didn't matter if I was breastfeeding, it would happen no matter what. And so I found I had that and then naturally, you know, I think and most women struggle with this postpartum anxiety and depression Like it's very common. People just need to talk about it more. Yeah, I think, like it's such a hard period and you can do all the preparing in the world.
Speaker 3:I did all the shadow work, I did all the organizing my drawers, talking to John ahead of time but it just hits you and it does and you have to like give yourself so much grace and also be really transparent with your friends. But also, like I've been very transparent with my friends about me going through stuff so they know it's nothing personal, but they also can choose to support me during this time or not, and that's okay. Like that's okay, everyone has their own stuff, um, but yeah, I've been really upfront about it. So I would say to any of the new mamas like give yourself grace and be upfront with your partners about what you're going through. Some general other tips is I know it's hard, but get out of bed, like I was told that I didn't look sad enough on social media.
Speaker 3:Oh, my god which okay, um, but also, yeah, I I don't, because I you need to look at your tools and resources around you and you can either sit in it or you can choose to take action on it. And for me, I wanted to show other moms. I've been very upfront about my postpartum journey, but I want to show them. I still choose to get up each morning. I still choose to make my bed in the morning. I still choose to go, get my steps out. I still choose to try to enjoy every bit of motherhood that I can, and sometimes it's in my pajamas.
Speaker 2:That's okay and sometimes I have to Uber Eats things, but just move.
Speaker 3:It makes a difference. And I'm not saying you're going to feel like yourself, because, as I preached about earlier, I don't even know who I am anymore. Yeah, but day by day it gets a little bit easier.
Speaker 2:The load gets a little bit easier, the load gets a little bit easier to carry, so just move. Yeah, well, those little actions that you're doing day by day is just. I feel like those are what are getting you through this.
Speaker 3:Yeah, and I think like posting it also helps.
Speaker 2:It's like an accountability buddy. No, yeah, exactly like oh, I got up.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I like brushed my hair.
Speaker 2:Yes, yeah and just knowing, too, that this is like it probably doesn't feel like a short period of time for you in the moment, but it is a short period of time that's going to get you through like an even better time, like it's just going to get you to the next chapter, if that makes sense and I view every hard thing as like.
Speaker 3:Then you can help someone else once you're on the other side and you develop more empathy and understanding to just help someone else that goes through it later on. So so, yes, it's hard right now, but just think when you're on the other side you get to be the person helping that other mama going through it. I love that.
Speaker 1:And I love how you don't like let yourself be consumed by the emotion, like you almost flip it in a way, like you said, to help other people like, oh, I'm going through this part of my life right now, but what's helping you get out of bed is not just motivation to do better for yourself, but then to also be able to turn around and like be that open with with other people as well, because when you're dealing with depression or like a negative emotion, it's so easy to let yourself be all consumed by that, but by bringing yourself like out of that and continuously like trying to inspire other people that could be going through that as well also may help you on your journey as well, like you were saying absolutely, and I'm, and I'm like say the emotion out loud yeah, like it.
Speaker 3:Yes, it feels so slimy to be like I don't want to be here, right now like it.
Speaker 3:It's hard saying that out loud but once you say it, it's like whoa, okay, like like I have woken up john, so many times and I'm like I'm freaking out right now. Yeah, like I'm freaking out and I and he's like, okay, talk, like just talk. And then we like talk through things logically and I, again, this is one of those. It's so hard, it's beyond logic, it's even sometimes hard to even put into words, but when you just start talking and rambling and you have your support system around you, it makes a world of difference instead of just letting it spew in your head over and over again.
Speaker 1:Yeah well, I appreciate you like being open about that too, because I'm sure it's hard when you're dealing with it to come to terms with it, but then turn around and like share it with other people, people too yeah wow, okay, this is so good, yeah, okay.
Speaker 3:Well, I guess talk a little bit more about, like, what exciting things you have coming up for marriage home, what you're working on your project, turning it into a full-blown business, yeah so, um, john, mr witt, he is being onboarded, currently shut up, because, no, literally he, like we, like I can't do, like we have a, we have a little human to take care of, um, and we don't have child care, which is we didn't even get into that, but we don't have child care right now, so I need more support. Um, so he is coming on to the business, so you'll be seeing a lot more of him.
Speaker 3:We've been revamping our content pillars for our marketing girlies, our content pillars, where what's coming is actually the malish kitchen stop we didn't really talk about it that much yet, but, um, I, growing up in louisiana, I was surrounded by food and um, yeah, it's surrounded by food. Um, where we will be kicking off the malice kitchen next month, um, and we're gonna be going through my grandma's cookbook so is it like a separate page. No, no it. It will still be okay. I love that and it will be mr wit john. Sorry, I to me.
Speaker 3:I'm the main character, so I call him mr wit, as you should as you should, um, but he will be cooking um my grandma's recipes and we'll just be chatting, like all things like home, marriage, all that fun stuff, um, and then, yeah, well, that's coming. What else is coming, um? I just read in my office, as y'all saw, so that reveal is coming very, very soon.
Speaker 2:Amazing. In person it looks amazing.
Speaker 3:And I'm currently taking on clients for more virtual services. I just recently refreshed all of my packages just to make it a bit easier to digest for some people, because I wouldn't. I'm not an interior designer. I know that's like what some people will be like oh, I have a renovation. I'm like, actually I am, I'm an interior stylist, so I will help you furnish, do your space planning, all of that, but I'm not knocking down no walls. So I just revamped all of my packages so we have a standard basic and premium package. Premium allows for me to source some art and stuff like that for you, but it's, they're all different styling packages. All that said, I do have a special offer for your listeners where they will get 10% off a package of choice for those that are looking to redo a room in their home. Yeah, I love that. And if you don't have that, you can check out my free support. Yeah, that's every Friday.
Speaker 1:Great at that. And if you don't have that, you can check out my free support. Yeah, yeah, that's every Friday. Great at that. Every Friday, she does free support on her page. Definitely, yeah, definitely. Go check out the Malish home on Instagram. Give her a follow. She's already almost a 10K, which is so crazy.
Speaker 2:Get her to 10K immediately.
Speaker 1:I'm just so grateful that you were like such an amazing guest to have, because I feel like you are so relatable, you're so open and I'm just so excited to like. Watch you continue to like blossom into like motherhood. It's so fun to follow you and like your journey and everything that you're doing, and I feel like you're just like a ray of sunshine in everything that you do, so just keep it up.
Speaker 3:Keep it up. Thank you so much.
Speaker 1:Yes, Thank you for coming on. Evolve or Repeat. If you guys want to check out everything that Whitney is about again, go check out the Mouser Home on Instagram. Also, go check out Witten Kels as well on Instagram.
Speaker 3:She's always on there sharing all of the good good info and if you want to be added to the close friend circle, just let us know. We love all of the unhinged rants. If you want to be added to the close friend circle.
Speaker 1:Just let us know we love all of the unhinged rants. If you want to follow live on instagram, she is at live worth or at lived in dot studio follow me over on instagram at. The dot shall be lanae. And then our podcast instagram is at evolver p dot the podcast. We'll see you guys next week love y'all bye, bye period thank you girl that was so good, oh my God, oh my God that was amazing. Incredible.
