Give Me 20 Minutes And Ill Make You Dangerously Confident

In this episode, we’re talking about how to build real confidence, increase your self-worth, and finally start believing in yourself. From overcoming insecurity and people-pleasing to building discipline, finding your passion, and becoming the woman you’ve always dreamed of being this episode is your reminder that confidence isn’t something you’re born with, it’s something you build. If you’ve ever doubted yourself or felt like you weren’t enough, this conversation will inspire you to start showing up differently and creating the life you truly want.

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Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Hello, loves. Welcome to another episode of the Veronica Ramos podcast. Today I'm by myself. I'm excited for today's episode. We're talking all about confidence, how to believe in yourself, and just yeah, truly be confident. I'm excited because it's something that I used to struggle with growing up, believing in myself, becoming more confident. So hey, I'm excited for today's episode. So I grew up with zero confidence in my life. Like I remember just growing up and not feeling worthy, not feeling good enough. Like I've always always struggled with self-confidence and just believing in myself, which is crazy because if you knew me when I was little, you would not believe that I would be in a place where I'm at now because of how low my confidence was. I'm gonna talk about just overall my life, um, my business, my home, the things I have, the person I've become, the relationships I have, and I truly sometimes can't believe that this is my life, the life that I've created myself. I used to think that women were just born that way, that they were just prettier, smarter, they had something that you know that I didn't. I used to think that that people in those rooms that I wanted to be in had something special in them, and that they were just had a hidden thing that I didn't have. That's truly, truly what I used to think. Like I remember being 18 years old and just being like those people, you know, that I want to be like, they were just born that way, they're just special people. There's something about them that they are just more special. I used to think they were just prettier, they were just smarter, more talented, they knew something that I didn't know. But now that I've grown more confident in myself, I've understood that confidence is not something that you're just born with, it's something that is built. And honestly, I wish someone would have told me these things earlier in my life and I would have known, you know, all this stuff that I'm about to tell you. I remember being younger and genuinely feeling like I didn't belong in those rooms, like there was something, like I said, special about those people that I didn't have. I didn't grow up with connections, I didn't grow up with money. I just felt like I did not belong in those rooms because of that. Like there was just this huge belief in myself, in me, that I was just not good enough for those rooms. I just felt different somehow. I feel I felt like people that were successful, that were doing good in life were just better than me, and just something that I couldn't achieve, and something that was just something that I didn't have. Now that I've built the dream life that I always wanted, I've realized something. I've realized that we're all just trying to figure it out. There's nobody out there, even the biggest CEO in the world does not know what the heck they're doing and are just going along, figuring shit out. Nobody is just magically confident, we're born that way. Everybody is just figuring it out. We are all just regular people. Like, I cannot explain it. Even Barack Obama has said it before in one of his like interviews that he has gone into rooms with tables where he thought it was just like crazy, and then he just realized that they're just average people that just had the confidence and the you know the audacity to do things in their life. And yes, some of us come from money, yes, some of us had were born with certain, you know, families and connections. Yes, that's true, but also at the end of the day, there has been people that did not have anything and have also built a life of their dreams and had the audacity to grow and put themselves out there and just build a life for themselves where they did not have any advantage in life. Hearing that interview with Barack Obama, I really like it opened my eyes a lot of like realizing everyone is just trying to figure it out, nobody has the answers for everything. Some people just build confidence more and have the audacity to go for it. It's people who didn't come from money, who were insecure, people who had no connections, and people who had to learn everything on their own, and they still built the life that they wanted and decided to go for it. That's why I never want you to disqualify yourself before you even try, because there's people that have done it before. Your starting point does not decide your ending, and honestly, the people sometimes that were born with all those disadvantages that didn't have nothing end up becoming the most successful people, and they also um end up being the most confident because they know what it took to get there. So, yes, do not disqualify yourself before you even start. One of the things that truly changed my life was becoming obsessed with something. I think finding something that is yours in any sort of life that you're going through right now, whether you're employed, whether you're an entrepreneur, starting a business in the middle of your business. I think finding something, even if you're a stay-at-home mom, find something that you're passionate about. You know, try different things and see what's something that you could do for the rest of your life and do it. Having something for yourself and learning a new skill, learning something that you absolutely love doing. Usually everything can end up becoming a money-making thing, and I think just having something of your own as a woman gives you so much confidence. Find something that's yours, something that lights you up, something outside of validation from people. Most importantly, it gives you identity, purpose, and confidence. That's something that I am so proud of. Like, for example, even if your dream is to be a stay-at-home mom, still have some, still have something for you, a hobby, a skill, a passion, something that reminds you that you're capable outside of motherhood as well. I just truly, truly believe that having something for yourself, your own thing, changes the way that you carry yourself. You know that if something happens, you're gonna have that skill that you can end up taking anywhere and getting a job, starting a business, and yeah, just as a woman, I think there is so much, so much confidence to have when you do have your own thing. The next thing is envision yourself, close your eyes, envision the life that you want to have. Since I was a little girl, I always always envisioned the life that I wanted. It's crazy because it's to the T. Like to the T. And to this day, I do that. I will close my eyes and I will envision the person that I want to be in the next 10 years, the life I want to have, and work towards that, be relentless. Like, I think understanding that it takes years and years to build a life that you want, it's impossible to just wake up and you know, one month in one month have the life that you want. You have to want it so bad that you are willing to be relentless in yourself. I also think that a huge reason why I got here to this success that I have is because I believed it was possible for me even before I had proof. You have to have to be delusional and tell yourself, like, there's people that did it even with no connections, but believing in yourself so hard, knowing that you are capable of doing it, and understanding that yes, there might be failure in the process, there might be a lot of failure multiple times. You have to continue to still move forward towards that goal. Like, if you want it, understanding that you're going to fail sometimes, you're going to feel defeated, you're gonna feel like you're in the wrong path, but just knowing that for it to be easy, if it was easy, everyone would be doing it. Close my eyes and envision myself and ask yourself how does she act? How does the person that you want to be act? How does she speak? How does she carry herself? What habits does she have? What does she tolerate? What does she no longer apologize for? Another huge thing for me that I did was fake it until you make it at a certain extent, right? There's been situations like when I first started real estate where I was so young, I did not know, like I didn't know what the heck I was doing because in the time that I didn't have any deals, I was completely immersed in my business. Like I told myself, when I get that one client, I'm gonna know everything possible. I'm gonna be able to answer all of their questions. So, preparation and faking it until you make it has been huge for just building confidence in business, in your relationships, in whatever you do at your job, in general in life. People want to work with people that are confident, people want to have relationships with people that are confident. Nobody wants a downer, nobody wants to work with somebody who you know that doesn't know what they're doing, right? Like when you go get your nails done and you see that they are not confident and that they don't really know what they're doing, then you feel weird. So, uh knowledge, learning everything about what you want to do, not everything, as much as you can, like progress leave watch videos, listen to podcasts on the things that you want to do, and faking it until you make it. Just knowing, like I remember in real estate, I was young, I had you know my first deal, and I remember my client asked me for my recommendation on like what I had seen before. I know the home had some problems with the roof. I was confident with my answer, even though I had never had an experience where the roof was bad. I had done research before on roofs and stuff like that. She did not know that she was my first client, and I just faked it and but I had learned, right? I had learned before and I was confident with my answer, but she never knew that it was my first deal ever, and I had no experience. It's okay to fake it till you make it, just carrying yourself confident will make people feel that you are confident. I really think that knowledge is power. Confidence comes a lot easier when you put time into learning, and a lot of the people that you're intimidated by, they're still figuring it out too. The difference is that they trust themselves enough to walk into the room confidently, anyways. I think that's huge. Like walk in, fake it. You belong in those rooms. The next thing is discipline. Discipline changed my life more than motivation, watching, hearing, any type of motivation ever did. And I know you hear it all the time, but it's true. Confidence comes from being consistent at something, prove to yourself that you're able to do that you're able to do something consistently. Honestly, that has been like life-changing for me. Once you become consistent with something, it truly does change your perspective on so much. There's a book that I listened to that is amazing, Eat That Frog. That's the name of the book, and it just talks about how you should be doing one to three things every single day that moves you forward to your dream life, and doing them consistently, right? So every day I have you can start with just one, it doesn't have to be three. One to three things every single day that are going to move you forward to your goals, your dream life, whatever it is, before you do anything else. So let's say you go to work, once you get off work, it's so easy to just get distracted with life and do random things like go return that shirt, go do that, go get my nails done. Like, there's always something to do in general in life, right? Like little errands to run. But what this is, is you're focusing on those three things or one thing that is going to move you forward in life, and that you're going to be doing every single day non-negotiable, and that will make you consistent at something, right? Like, for example, let's say your goal is to start a business, then what are you doing every single day? Just one thing that's going to move you forward every day to get to that goal. Or if you're going to the gym, if your goal is to lose weight, then what are you doing every single day to be consistent? And then don't do anything else unless you did those things, right? Because, like I've said before, it's so easy to just do like random things. Phone calls, phone calls in my business are really, really important. So I make sure that before I do anything else, I do my phone calls, and then I have something else in my list, and then another thing. I have three that are non-negotiables. If I don't do those, then like nothing else matters. So I focus on those things throughout the day. After I do those things, I could do whatever I want, whatever other errands I want to do, but I'm doing the stuff that's moving me forward, and it's keeping me consistent and giving me the confidence because I am consistent. So you need to figure out what are those things for you and focus on them and learn to be consistent. Next one is self-talk. It's so important to stop talking to yourself negatively. Don't tell yourself, I'm so dumb, I can't do that. I just negative self-talk, stop doing that to yourself. Truly think that what you think about you attract. So tell yourself instead. Um, because your brain will listen to everything you say, start speaking to yourself like the woman that you're trying to be become, and also get ready, get take care of yourself, walk into rooms like you belong there, even before you fully believe it. Because eventually you will tell yourself before you go into a room where you feel uncomfortable. Tell yourself, I am confident, I know what I'm talking about. Belong in these rooms. Opportunity comes to me. Like, tell yourself so positive things and cross out all the negative because I am a testament that those things work. The amount of times that I do affirmations before I show up to places, it brings me so much confidence walking into the room. And I think it's so important to understand. It's a quote that I have lived by is I am not better than anyone else, but no one is better than me. And just telling myself that affirmation before I go into rooms, I can go into any room, it gives me so much confidence. So another thing confidence changed for me was people pleasing. The more confident and successful that I became, the less I cared about trying to make everyone happy. I stopped making decisions based on what other people might think. I it's the best, most relieving thing in the world just knowing and being confident on who you are, and being confident on who you are will eventually attract your people, your friends, and it's impossible to please everyone. Like you need to understand that you will stay small if you try to please everyone. It's impossible. I realize that people who have really big lives that we want to have, they're not there sitting down thinking about what people are thinking about them, they are locked in on their life only and focused on improving themselves and being there for their friends and their family, and they are they do not care what other people are perceiving of them or thinking of them. Truly, truly, people pleasing is the worst thing, and just being yourself is really important. People who are happy with their lives are not sitting there judging other people's lives, so yeah, just do not focus on people pleasing and be yourself, and you will attract good things in your life. I wish someone would have told me what I'm telling you guys today, and just knowing that confidence is not feeling like you're better than anyone else, it's just about you realizing that no one is better than you, and we're all equal, are as worthy of things as everyone else. You are capable of doing all those things yourself. Realizing that women who have confidence didn't just wake up one day and just felt confident. It took years of consistency, discipline, self-talk, failure, positive self-talk. But eventually the results do catch up. The life that you want is built on the daily, it is built on the little things that you do every single day. You need to work towards something every single day. It is so easy to just go through with life and understanding that there's gonna be things happening in your life where you're gonna feel that you can't because life happens. There's gonna be a sick kid, you're gonna find out something, you're gonna like there's always life problems happening to you, and just understanding that you still need to move forward and you still need to do that thing so that you are able to move forward in life, be confident, and if you believe in yourself and you think big, then I truly think that you can have your dream live and build something that you want for yourself. We're only here once, don't make it in another life, like let's do it in this life. But yeah, I hope you guys enjoyed today's episode. Thank you guys so much. I will talk to you guys next week.