Unmasking Greatness
Join Fitness/LifeStyle Expert & Mentor Chris Kakouras talk about maximizing your health, business, mindset, and overall life! Let's get better together as I bring on amazing guest to interview and learn from!
Unmasking Greatness
Leading with Integrity: Empowering Yourself and Others Through Respect and Choices
Have you ever wondered how the leadership styles you encounter or adopt can shape your journey to success? Picture this: one leader dictates through fear while another inspires through integrity and collaboration. In this episode of Unmasking Greatness, I share how my experiences in the restaurant business, contrasting my father's fear-based approach with my own relationship-driven strategy, taught me the true essence of earning respect. By leading with consistency and positivity, you can empower not only yourself but those around you, creating a thriving environment of mutual respect and growth.
This episode isn't just about earning respect; it's about taking charge of your life without waiting for permission. I challenge you to stop playing the victim and start making choices that align with your desired life. Respect yourself enough to own your decisions, and see how this transformation can influence your health, mindset, and environment. The choices we make daily shape our realities, and by acknowledging this power, you can pave a path toward the life you’ve always aspired to lead. Share these insights with someone who might need a push towards empowerment and witness the ripple effect of positive change.
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Welcome to Unmasking Greatness. I'm your host, chris Kikoris, a lifestyle fitness coach and mentor. This podcast is about unmasking your greatest potential, finding your purpose and crafting a life worth living. Health and fitness has been the gateway drug to all of my success. My continuous drive to keep learning and surround myself with other high achievers forces me to level up, which has developed my mind to something I never thought was possible. This podcast is here to share what I've learned and continue to learn with all of you. This is your sign to take back control of your health, mindset and personal environment. Strap in as we are recharged and always find value in the show. Please subscribe and share, as we can all get better together.
Speaker 2:Let's go. What's up, guys? Welcome to another episode of Unmasking Greatness. I'm your host, chris Koukouris, and today I hope you're having an amazing Monday, but I will say I've been in my feels this past week. I have been on another level and you're going to feel my energy in this episode. So bear with me If you are feeling a little sensitive right now, if you are in your emotional pool of you know, don't say something bad, it's going to hurt my feelings. Maybe this is not the episode for you right now. You can come back another day, or maybe this is the perfect time you should be listening to this. So, without further ado, let's just dig into this.
Speaker 2:There are three topics that I want to go over with you guys today, and that is respect, permission and choices, and these three are going to be the fundamental elements for you, not just in your fitness journey, but in life itself. So let's just go straight into it. I'm not even going to waste any time. So the first respect Listen, we all want it right, and here's the truth Respect is earned, it is not demanded. I want you to think of a person that you respect. I just want you to get that person paint that picture in your mind of who that is, and I want you to ask yourself why do you respect them? Is it because they told you to respect them, or is it because they showed up consistently, stayed true to their word and demonstrated integrity? The same rules apply to you. If you want others to respect your goals, your time, your boundaries, you need to lead by example.
Speaker 2:I think back to when I was in the restaurant business, and obviously the generations have changed. But when I was in the restaurant business and obviously the generations have changed, but when I was in the restaurant business, I saw and this is not too far off from a lot of the older generation I watched my father and this is not a dig at him, because this is just how he was raised as an immigrant coming to this country. When you work in the restaurant, you don't work with the best people. Okay, let's be real. Most of the front of the house you're dealing with young kids. They're in high school, college, so typically they're a younger crew and then in the back of house you're unless you've got a five-star restaurant you're not dealing with the top of the food chain either. There's a lot of times I was working next to convicts. You know people that were on parole. They're just not the cream of the crop Good people, just bad decisions, you know.
Speaker 2:And so my father, as he was, he would control these people and get respect out of fear. So he would be talking down to them, you know, making them feel less. He would control them through money. You know how much they were going to get paid If you took a day off and he didn't approve, he would give you another two days off, knowing that you're living paycheck to paycheck and that would hurt you and it would again fear-based. I saw that and I was like that is such a bad way to model leadership.
Speaker 2:Okay, and so when I came in, I wanted to work in the back of house. I wanted to learn how to cook. I wanted to work in the back of the house. I wanted to learn how to cook. I wanted to learn how to run inventory stock. I wanted to know how to do everything back there, because at the time I honestly thought I was going to be running the restaurant long term.
Speaker 2:So when I went in there, I wanted to take a different perspective. I wanted to build a relationship with them. So I didn't tell them what to do. I would do it with them. I would show them better ways, faster ways to do things. I would praise them when they did something good. If they didn't know how to do something, I would show them. I wouldn't degrade them.
Speaker 2:And you know, when we was back, you know slinging plates out. You know we were super busy and we were just like in this flow state. When we were done, it was like high five, yo. That was what's up. Like we can do this every single time. It just makes the environment so much more positive and, honestly, that's how I started to earn my respect. It wasn't by just. You know, I could have went in there and be like I'm the boss's son. You know you do what I say. No, no, no. I knew that wasn't going to play out, you know so.
Speaker 2:And there was even an occasion that, you know again, not the best type of people are hired on sometimes. A new cook came in. He was a young kid and he wasn't listening to what I was saying. He was always saying stuff under his breath about me. You know. It just escalated to a point where we actually almost got physical and at that point when that situation arose, everybody the staff in the kitchen actually dragged this guy out the back door and they fired him. They're like you are, you don't belong here. This is you. Don't disrespect Chris. You know Chris is the man. You know, we love him, we appreciate him and you know you got to think. If it was the other way around, like I was saying, fear-based they would have stepped to the side and let it play out.
Speaker 2:So understand that respect can gain power in a different way as well. Now, respect as well as being, you know, external, let's talk about respect. That's internal. Okay, you can't expect to achieve your goals if you're not respecting your own time and energy. Showing up for yourself is a form of respect as well. So every time you honor your commitments, you're building that internal respect. And check this out. When you start to do this over and over and over again your friends, your family, all the co-workers that are around you they know where you drew that line in the sand that they're not allowed to cross. There are boundaries. They will not say or ask from you because they already know what your standards are. So raise your standards.
Speaker 2:If you haven't heard the podcast that I did about learning how to say no, I strongly encourage you to go back and listen to that, because every time you say yes to something that is not going to get you closer to your goals, that's exactly what you're doing. You're saying no to what your goals are. So every time you say yes to drinking, every time you say yes to going out on the weekends, every time you say yes to partying, you're saying no to your future goals. Okay, so you got to learn how to say no. Really. Encourage you guys to go back and listen to that one. That's a powerful one. Now to to this one here Jeez, I feel like this is. This comes to me all the time.
Speaker 2:You guys need to stop asking for permission to reach your goals. Why are you? What are you? Who are you asking permission? I think this was ingrained in us back when we were in, like, grade school. You know what I mean. Like teacher, can I go to the bathroom? You know, yes, johnny, you can go to the bathroom. Like I got to ask because I got to go to the bathroom. You know what I mean. And we just carry that into adult life, where we have to ask permission for what we want. Let me tell you something you don't need anyone's approval to get healthier. You don't need anyone's approval to build your own business. You don't need anyone's approval to take care of yourself Self-care. You are the only one in control of your life.
Speaker 2:Waiting for someone to validate your goals is just a fancy way of you procrastinating. I hear it all the time you go up to a friend and it's like I'm starting this fitness journey, I'm thinking about working with this coach, or I'm thinking about starting this new business venture. You're telling people your goals, but what you're really doing is asking for their permission. You're asking to validate your ideas. I hope this person says it's a good idea, because then I'll do it. But if they say, man, that was a, that's a dumb move, or why? Why do you want to work with a coach? You can work out, you know what you're doing. And now that holds you back. You're like man, maybe they're right, maybe I don't need to do this business. Maybe I don't need a coach to help me. Who are you? Who are you asking permission for? It's time to take ownership, decide what you want, set your boundaries and just go for it. Permission isn't granted, it's claimed. It's time to stop apologizing for wanting more One of the hardest things for me to hear as a coach and I deal with this every single day because I'm having multiple calls, people interested in the program and one of the most common objections that we get is a spousal objection.
Speaker 2:You know, oh man, I really need to. I need to run this by. You know my wife or my husband, I just need to make sure that they're on board. You know we make decisions together and my thing is like this I'm assuming you've already talked to your spouse. They already know that you're not happy with the way that you look. You're unhealthy, which I'm sure they can correlate with a shorter lifespan and you can't show up as the person you want because you're just in this slum, you're not feeling confident. So I'm assuming this person knows that. Well, yeah, chris, they know that, but they love me regardless. I didn't say they didn't love you. What I'm saying is that they can feel that energy that you're putting off. They can feel when you're not showing up a hundred percent, they can feel when you're not showing up 100%. They can feel that.
Speaker 2:And so my question for you is why are you asking someone permission to make your life better, to show up better for them? If this is the case, then every time they tell you to sit, you better sit. If they tell you you can't go outside today, don't you go outside today? Is that the life you want? To live? Under somebody's foot? It's crazy to me. And you know the craziest thing I keep up. I follow up with my, my people that I talk to six months a year, two years later keep in mind I've been in business now 2020, they haven't changed Nothing. Nothing has changed. They haven't tried anything, if anything they got. They got heavier, more unhealthy, gained more weight. You know they're just. Nothing has changed. I was like how long are you going to pursue and push this thing out? You guys need to start taking ownership of your life, and that your spouse should support you in this. It's crazy to me. So my best advice for you quit asking for permission, go for it. Strive for your goals. You know, and you can deal with it later.
Speaker 2:Third, the power of choices. Yeah, let's get into the choices. This is where people get really uncomfortable, because it forces accountability and action. Okay, and here's the truth. Everything that you do is a choice. It is a choice Every single day. You're making choices that shape your future, and I hear it all the time.
Speaker 2:I literally I wish I could post up this message that I was having yesterday I don't have a choice. I have to go to work. You know, I have to take care of my kids, I have to do X, y, z, and sure those are responsibilities, but let's not confuse responsibilities with a lack of choice. You know, this person was saying that they don't have a choice for this, but when it came to exercising, eating healthy, they made it like it was a choice and they they didn't have time to do it, or things are crazy. You know, I, I just I know I need to, I'm just not prioritizing it. And I told her, I was like I'm going to counter you with this one. This is a business owner. I was like you do have a choice to go to work. Nobody forces you to wake up, nobody forces you to do your job. You go because you know why you need to go.
Speaker 2:If you, there's there's consequences to everything. If you go to work, you show up, you do your part, you can thrive, you can make a lot of money, you could be successful. The same thing with your health and fitness. You have a choice to go to the gym for 30 minutes, 45 minutes a day. You have a choice to put the food in your mouth. What kind of food are you putting in the mouth? These are all choices, and if you do these choices well, guess what? You're going to feel better, you're going to look better, you're going to have more energy, you're going to be healthier. What if you don't do it? You're going to feel more tired, you're going to have lack of clarity, you're going to start gaining weight and this will inevitably unfold and bleed into the business because you can't think clearly to make those big decisions. That's going to move the needle forward.
Speaker 2:So don't lie to yourself and say I don't have time. What you really mean is I'm choosing not to make it a priority, and that's okay, as long as you own that choice. Every decision you make comes with a result. If you choose to skip the workouts, the results might be just less energy, you know, or all the other inevitable results that you're going to get from choosing that. So you have more control than you think. Life isn't about the endless options. It's about making the best choices with the options you actually do have.
Speaker 2:Okay, so let's. I know that was a lot. I know that might've like hit you guys hard, but again, these these were topics that were just like weighing on me today and I just I just wanted to share these with you and hopefully this resonates with some of you guys. So I just want to recap these three respect, permission, choices. Remember. Respect is earned through consistent action, both from yourself and others. Permission is not something you wait for, it's something you take. And finally, remember choices. You have them every single day and those choices shape the results that you're getting. Okay, so it's time to stop playing the victim of your circumstances. Start owning your own decisions. Respect yourself, stop waiting for permission and make choices that align with the life you want to live.
Speaker 2:I love you guys and if this resonates with any of you guys, if this hit home for any of you or somebody your friend, a family member popped up in your mind as I'm talking through these topics, and you know it's worth them listening to, all I ask is share it to them, just send them the link. Send them the link and say, hey, listen, I think you should listen to this Just when you're driving to the. You know, driving to your work or driving to the mall, driving wherever you're driving. This is a great listen. I think, uh, I think you'll get some value from it. That's all I ask from you guys. So I love you guys. Hope you guys have a good rest of the day I.