Unmasking Greatness

From Vague Goals to Daily Wins: Why Clarity, Systems, and Boundaries Beat Motivation

• Chris Kakouras • Season 3 • Episode 19

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We dig into why most goals fail: not from lack of effort, but from blurry targets and a missing why. We lay out three pillars—physical, lifestyle, and mindset—and show how systems, non‑negotiables, and the 90–10 rule turn intent into momentum.

• defining clear, specific goals across physical, lifestyle, mindset
• using metrics to track progress and stay accountable
• asking “why” five times to anchor behavior change
• client story: proposal as a catalyst for health
• building systems that outlast motivation
• setting three weekly non‑negotiables with guarantees
• creating boundaries and time blocks that stick
• applying the 90–10 rule to avoid all‑or‑nothing thinking
• turning confidence into action and action into momentum

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SPEAKER_00:

Welcome to Unmasking Greatness. I'm your host, Chris McCoris, a lifestyle fitness coach and mentor. This podcast is about unmasking your greatest potential, finding your purpose, and crafting a life worth living. Health and fitness has been the gateway drug to all of my success. My continuous drive to keep learning and surround myself with other high achievers forces me to level up, which has developed my mind to something I never thought was possible. This podcast is here to share what I've learned and continue to learn with all of you. This is your time to take back control of your health, mindset, and personal environment. Strap in as we are recharged and always find value in the show. Please subscribe and share as we can all get better together. Let's go.

SPEAKER_01:

What's up, guys? Welcome to another episode of Unmasking Greatness. I'm your host, Chris Kakoris. I hope everybody's having a blessed Monday. And let me tell you something. There is something that I have realized over the last couple years as uh as I get older. And I don't know, you know, I don't know everybody that listens to my podcast and where you are in your years. But to let you guys know, I am 38 years old as of now. And I will say this. I when I was younger, I thought I knew it all. I threw and I thought I knew everything. I thought that nobody could tell me nothing. And and that was it. And the the older I got, I realized I don't know shit. I don't know anything. And and so I'm just joking. I I do know a lot of things, but I I did realize that there the world is so big and there's so much out there, and there's so much that I just don't know. And through the years of you know, just experience and you know, training and being with mentorships and clients and just talking to so many different people from all walks of life, it's it's really inspiring to hear people's stories. I mean, that's kind of why I started the podcast. And if you've heard already a couple of our you know interviews that we have done, I am truly intrigued with the people that I bring on here. And I hope you guys get value from that because I I plan on doing more. But I also plan on coming on here and doing my own thing and and giving you guys value and my experiences and things that I'm learning on a on a day-to-day. And so through that, I am I'm constantly learning. Every single day, I'm trying to learn something. And uh it's funny too, because as I I bring this topic up to some of the people that I, you know, talk to on a regular, and and you know, they're in the same kind of journey of life of growth and learning and just trying to be their best version. They they say the same thing. It's like as you get older, you realize there's there's just so much out there that we don't know. And that's where, you know, with with this specific episode, I if you guys can, I know some of you guys listen in the car and maybe listen to this again. I want you guys to grab a piece of paper, a little notepad, or with a pen. Uh, because there's some things I want you guys to do that's gonna help. And and the purpose of this podcast specifically is I want to touch on the power of clarity, right? So I really want to dig deep into your mindset and talk more about the foundations of setting clear goals and finding your why. Because without the clarity and the purpose, every plan eventually falls apart. I mean, and and I'm gonna give you guys some examples and people that I know personally of how this unfolded, and even myself, there's been a lot of times that I was doing things and not really sure why I was doing it. I was kind of doing things in the moment, uh, just for for in the moment kind of gratitude, but not long-term, like visual clear set goals. And again, I think that just comes with time. And wherever you are in your journey and walk of life at this point in time, this could help you to really just define your why early on. Okay. So I want to dig into the number one thing. So let's talk about clarity, right? Most people with their goals, they don't fail because they don't work hard. I know a lot of people that work hard. I know a lot of people that say, I'm so busy, but they're not productive. And they never reach their goal. And again, it's because they don't know exactly what they're working towards. And it seems like straightforward, right? If you have a business or you're working at a corporate job, it's like you want to make more money, right? You want to get that pay bump, you want to get a promotion. But then you really need to ask yourself, like, why? How is that gonna make a difference? Or if you're trying to lose weight, you know, are you being vague or more specific with your goals? If you're saying I want to get fit versus I want to lose 10 pounds and have energy to play with my kids, those two are very different and very different in the subconscious. So, why clarity gives you focus and consistency is through three categories. There's three pieces of the pillar that I would say that you guys need to focus on. And with this, and this, and and I think of this as like a whole circle, right, of life. So obviously, we need to make sure that we're focusing on our physical goal. And then you will have your your lifestyle goal and emotional and mindset goal. If one of these pillars is off, it's gonna hinder all the others. Okay. So with your physical goal, you need to make sure that you're giving yourself specific tangible goals that you're trying to accomplish, not just I'm trying to get fit or I'm trying to lose weight or just gain some muscle. You need to be very specific. I want to drop 10 pounds, 15 pounds. I want to put on five pounds of muscle. I want to improve my endurance. I want to be able to run a seven-minute mile. And you gotta keep up with the metrics. You gotta be able to keep up with those numbers to show yourself that you're actually doing what you're saying you're doing or getting closer and making progress. You know, having lifestyle goals, having more energy, better sleep, uh, less stress, more time in your day. And again, how are you gauging this? There's gotta be ways for you to keep track of these metrics. And the third one is emotional mindset. I promise you, everything suffers if these aren't good, which is also why I I enjoy doing these podcasts, because that is personal development is is is so massive. This is something, you know, now in our coaching program, we we go pretty heavy with this. And most coaching programs, I would say, and and and most people that come in, their number one thing is give me my workout, give me my nutrition. I need a nutrition plan to follow because I don't know what to eat. Give me a workout plan because I don't know what to do in the gym. And and that's great. And yes, do you need that? I'm sure, but what's gonna get you to stick to it long term? Anybody that starts a program is excited. So sure, they're gonna get in there and they're gonna, it's all new and everything's shiny and you're trying different exercises and it's fun. But after a month or so, it's kind of like, okay, now I got a routine, I'm doing this, and and we're so used to wanting to see progress so fast, we got to understand, like it takes time. So if the only thing you're focused on is workouts and nutrition, it your motivation is gonna die out pretty, pretty quick. And so we need to make sure that there is a headspace of making sure we we have some sort of timeline, but we're hitting these flag posts along the way to know that we're making good strides forward. Again, keeping track of the data that is that is so crucial. And all these things that I'm talking about right now, when we're talking about gaining and losing muscle and weight and endurance and sleep and stress and time management, all of this stuff is part of our coaching program because we want to look at things at a holistic approach where we're not just focusing on one thing or the other. We may emphasize one thing or another, but in total, if we want you to be successful long term, these are the things that we need to focus on. So if you do have a little pen and paper, this is something I want you to do. I want you to write down one thing you truly want to achieve in the next four weeks, right? And then I want you to do it again for three months and six months and go all the way up to 12 months. I want you to write these down, okay? Don't overthink it. Keep it pretty simple. And I want it to hit one of those pillars. One, two, or three physical goal, lifestyle goal, or an emotional mindset goal. This, when you write this down, you're gonna, and I want you to put this somewhere you're gonna see it every day, maybe on the mirror of your bathroom that you're obviously you I'm hoping all of you brush your teeth or on the refrigerator, because I'm sure everybody goes there as well. Somewhere that is like visually just in front of you all the time as a reminder. And this is gonna help keep it in in the forefront and in your subconscious of the daily actions that you are going to be doing every single day to get a little bit closer. So, you know, then the next thing that kind of leads into that is you gotta have a why. I don't know if every everybody has ever told you that. Like, what's your why? What's your why? Um, this is this is what's gonna anchor you to those goals because if you don't have clarity on how your life is going to change based off of those lifestyle changes that you're about to make, again, that motivation is going to die out. And part of this is what's gonna help keep you anchored. So, one of the things that you want to do after you write down that goal is I want you, and I and I heard this through a mentor that I had. When you say that you want something, I want you to ask yourself why five times. Okay. So let me give you an example. Let's let's, you know, let's talk about uh losing weight. You want to lose 10 pounds, great. So your goal is to lose 10 pounds. Why do you want to lose 10 pounds? Right? Well, then you answer it, of course. You'll say, Well, because I want to look better. Okay, cool. You want to look better. Why do you want to look better? Well, because I want to feel confident. Okay, cool. You want to feel confident. Why do you want to feel confident? And I want you to just pull back the layers, keep going, keep going until you almost cannot go. And you'll start to realize what the real underlying reason is that 10 pounds is bothering you, right? So sometimes, and again, everybody's journey is different. Sometimes self-motivation is just not there. Sometimes self-love is not there. No confidence in yourself. And I had a conversation. Um, we have a client right now that we have been working with, and uh, we we got on a call with him talking about he needs to lose weight. Now he has a lot more to lose than 10 pounds. He has a pretty significant amount of weight to lose. So we we start talking, and of course, these are the questions. What I'm talking about right now are the questions that I ask these people like why is this important? What's going on in your life? Why are we on this call? Things of that nature. And I slowly started to realize that he was very, he would spiral, you know, one thing led to the next, and it was just like, you know, that whole when it rains, it pours. I mean, this is like a true, a true story for that. And I could tell he had no confidence in himself, there was no motivation, it it just there was no self-love. And I was like, okay, this is if if he doesn't why I just don't, I couldn't figure out why he was on the call, like why he wanted to lose the weight. So we kept talking, and then he started talking about a uh his significant other that he wants to propose to. And he started explaining like how beautiful she was and how much he loved her and how happy he was, and you know, kind of went down there and then it kind of clicked for me. I was like, okay, this is this is probably his why, you know. I I assumed, I mean, this is something I could tell he was passionate about when he was talking. Sometimes people don't love themselves, they they don't allow themselves to love themselves because they don't want to disappoint themselves. And having someone else there to support them and encourage them and hopefully boost their confidence is is sometimes what they need. So I realized this is this is what's gonna help him get going, right? It shouldn't always be relied on somebody else, but if this is what's gonna fuel that fire, use it. I tell people, use whatever that you have. And so I asked him, I said, when do you plan on proposing, you know, to to your significant other? And he said, It probably in about a year, you know. Next year, that's what I'm thinking. He's like, I already got the ring and everything. I just want to plan everything out. And I was like, okay. I was like, I'm I'm assuming this is could be one of the reasons why you want to lose some weight. And he's like, Well, yeah, I want to I want to be good for her, you know. And I said, Let me ask you something. Do you think that you could get down on one knee right now? And he kind of paused and he said, I believe I could get down, I don't think I could get back up. And I was like, okay. I said, now this is kind of a one one time opportunity, a lifetime, right? And most people, I'm assuming you as well, would get a video or pictures of this special moment. Am I right? He said, Yes. I was like, now, how is that gonna look? How is that gonna make you feel? Do you think that's something that you would want to reflect back on years down the road, where you know, somebody has to help you get back up or you're not confident in those pictures, you don't want to show those pictures to your kids. I mean, this is a special moment, right? And he was like, Yeah. And I could tell that's that was the trigger. And I was like, if you want to be the best for her, it starts with you. You have to take care of yourself, you have to show her that you're willing to work hard, you're willing to support her and fight for her. And so that was ultimately the the turning moment where he was like, you know what, Chris, you're right. So I'm in. So he ended up signing up with us. And let me tell you something, he still struggled, you know, he still struggled to ultimately like just really get some momentum. And the next little trigger that really set him off was that we sent him to go get some blood work done, full metabolic panel to look at his hormones, his cholesterol, his lipid panels, his uh, you know, red blood cell count, all of that. And his his most of his markers were out of range. I mean, he's he's having some serious health complications. And I think knowing that was enough to scare him and say, you know what, it this is it's getting out of control. And since that day, he's been in the gym sending pictures of himself in the gym. My question is for many of you that are listening to this, if somebody didn't trigger you or push you outside of that comfort zone and challenge you, and if you can resonate with his story, what do you think you would be doing? Do you think that you would finally get the courage to go change and make a change yourself, or would you need somebody to like motivate you and inspire you and you know challenge your thoughts? That's what we do. We're not here to just sugarcoat everything and say, it's okay, you know, you'll be fine one day. No, like we got to have some honest conversations with each other. And so I tell you that, you know, if you're not ready for, you know, to have somebody in your corner uh hire a coach or whatever, then you need to have those honest sit-down conversations with your hes with yourself. Okay. So just remember, you know, when it gets hard, go back to the why. Okay. What is really going to pull you forward when motivation dies? Because it will. And even with this client specifically, motivation will die. My motivation is not there every day. It is it is a struggle some days. There's days I don't want to do anything, but I don't rely on motivation. I rely on systems, I rely on tactics and a schedule, which leads to the next thing. It's like bridging the goals and actions. You know, big goals only matter if they connect to small daily actions. Period. The daily things that you think aren't moving the needle forward are really helping you take that little inch, that little inch, you know, one inch, two inch, next thing you got a foot, you got a yard, you got a mile. You know, every little movement makes a difference. So dreams don't fail, systems do. If you don't have a system, you'll never reach your goals. You know, the importance of small and consistent habits is is crucial. And you got to start putting those things in place. You know, for example, again, let's just, I mean, we're on the weight loss topic. Let's talk about that. You know, if your goal is to lose 10 pounds, 20 pounds, 30 pounds, your daily actions might be, I just need to hit my prone T goal, or I need to get at least 8,000 steps a day, minimum, or I need to start getting some adequate sleep. So seven hours minimum sleep and start introducing the idea of non-negotiables. If you've heard my podcast before, I've talked about this plenty of times. And if you don't have any, you need to in every area of your life. You these non-negotiables are powerhouses. These are the things that are also going to build your confidence because if you say no to something, which I know is very hard for many of you, if you could say no and consistency, consistently say no, knowing that it is going to benefit you, then this is what's going to build your confidence. Right? You cannot say yes to everybody and then it starts holding you back and hurting you. Again, you cannot be good for anybody if you're not good for yourself. So here, I got another one, another little tactic I want you guys to do this week. I want you to write down your top three non-negotiables this week. Okay. Three. And and they can be small too, right? But I also, next to each one of those, I want you to write what that small action is gonna guarantee. Like what's the what's the progress that you're gonna guarantee if you do this? I'm gonna I'm gonna give you a prime example, okay? If you guys, and and again, um I have been working on myself and my schedule for quite some time. And to this day, I still work on it. Again, nothing is perfect. We can only optimize. And I had a schedule set in place where I was supposed to come to the gym. I had time blocked off, I was supposed to film, um, edit, you know, I had things put in place, I had things already scripted. Uh again, I had I had everything that I was supposed to be doing on the calendar and the time frame that I was supposed to get it done. And what happens is, and and I'm guilty of it, I'm a talker. And I see people, I start talking, and then another conversation starts. I see another person. You know, I mean, I know I'm in a public place, so but I need to be in the headspace where if someone starts talking, I politely say, Hey, listen, um, look, I I really got to get some stuff done. I'll shoot you a message later, but this this has to be done because I don't have time to do it later. And I think that's when you say things in a respectful manner, I think people will respect it. You shouldn't, it's not like I'm being rude. And if they take it the wrong way, well then I'm sorry. But I cannot say yes to everything and think I'm gonna, you know, get things done because that's what happened. I said yes to everybody and talked to everybody. I left with a little, like half of what I was supposed to get done, and also left with a bag of anxiety of how far behind I was. And so now I am the one struggling. I am the one hurting. And honestly, they didn't even know because I didn't say anything. And so that's now my non-negotiable. If I have something booked and scheduled in the calendar, I am going to abide by it by all means. Now, here's a here's another little I'm gonna I'm gonna kind of take this in a different direction really quickly. How you do one thing is how you do everything. Okay. I want you to hear that. How you do one thing is how you do everything. And when it comes to my workouts, when it comes to my nutrition, when it comes to even now my schedule, I do what I call a 90-10 rule. 90% of the time I am locked in, laser focused. You cannot, you cannot disrupt what I got going on and ruin my frequency. But I do allow myself 10%. And I allow myself that 10% to give me some wiggle room. If I want a cookie, I'm gonna eat that cookie. If I have to skip a workout and push it to another day, I'll do that. If I have to move something on my schedule because an emergency pops up or whatever, I have that ability and it doesn't mess with me. Because here's the deal: if you have that all or nothing mentality, you will you will start to self-sabotage yourself. When one thing goes wrong, you think the whole day went wrong. When one thing gets messed up, you're like, oh, toss this day, it's it's a mess. And so you need to give yourself a little bit of breathing room, buffer room, whatever you want to call it, to be able to navigate. But 90% of that time, we are making moves forward to get things done. So you got to set those boundaries in place and you got to set those non-negotiables. All right. So leading out, I'm gonna I'm gonna let you guys go. I want you to do some of the stuff that I told you. But again, remember clarity creates confidence. Confidence fuels action and action builds momentum. All right. This is how we win. One clear step at a time. It may be small steps, but I promise you, in the next four weeks, three months, six months, twelve months, when you turn around and you look back at where you started, you're gonna be like, Well, damn, I actually got pretty far. It's not about just how far you need to go, it's how far you've come. And remember that and tell yourself that a lot of you guys are struggling with confidence, a lot of you guys are struggling with the idea that you can commit and get through things, and life is so hard. Every hard situation, if you are listening to this, lit if you listen to anything in this episode, this is what I want you to hear. Every hard situation, the hardest situation you've ever been in, the darkest place you ever found yourself in, you have conquered. You're a freaking badass. You have made it through. And I hope to encourage you that that badassness in you will continue to build because another day will create another dark time and another challenge in front of you, and you are gonna run through it. Hard times create strong people, and you guys are strong if you're listening to this. So I love you guys. Hope you have a good Monday. I'll see you on the next one. Peace.