Leading with Feminine Energy Without Losing Your Power with Marina Ejova #88

Have you ever wondered why all the “success strategies” seem to work… until they don’t?

In this heartfelt conversation, Marina shares why many women burn out following traditional personal development and business models—and how reconnecting with feminine energy, sensuality, and the wisdom of the body creates a more sustainable, joyful way to live and lead.

Together, we explore boundaries, intuition, pleasure, and the surprising difference between sensuality and sexuality. If you’ve been craving a softer, more aligned path to growth, this episode is for you.

💛 I can’t wait to hear what speaks to you. ➡️@marina_ejova ➡️www.marinaejova.com

💫🪬🩵

➡️ Listen Crystal Zinn Podcast 🎙️ 

➡️ Message me for guest speaking, workshops, retreats & corporate event planning inquiries 

➡️ Book private reiki sessions at calendly.com/crystalzinnyoga

➡️ Follow me on instagram, TikTok, YouTube or Facebook 

➡️ Website crystalzinnyoga.com 

➡️ Breath Work, Sound Baths, Speaking, Anatomy Education, Meditation, Workshops & Yoga 

📧 Email crystalzinnyoga@gmail.com

#yoga #meditation #podcast #gratitude #wellness 

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Welcome to the Crystal Zen Podcast. I believe our bodies are a living map of the entire universe. All the answers reside within. Remember, you are sovereign, whole, and infinitely valuable. And the best gift we can give to the world is our own healing. Join me as we explore holistic tools, spiritual practices, and paradigms that are shifting the way people experience life, business, and relationships. I love to share education on the most recent medical research and cutting-edge technology on anatomy, neurology, trauma development, and more to give us a foundation and understanding how to align, utilize, and upregulate our physical systems. Ultimately, this podcast is a witness and support to people on their journey of remembering, an inspiration for all of us to keep going and a reminder that we are not alone.

SPEAKER_01 0:55

I just lit a candle for us because I always love to be in that like magic together.

SPEAKER_02 1:02

And I know we are in full like synergy of co-creating this together, but also like whatever your audience, my audience needs to hear, let God and the divine just like speak right through us. And trusting, trusting that we're so supported, we're so guided, and uh just being really authentic, that it benefits um you and your expansion, me and my expansion, and beyond those who are to hear us and hear this episode. And I'm so grateful to be here with you.

SPEAKER_00 1:39

Thank you. Thank you for that prayer to open. At the beginning of all my episodes, we I usually guide people through a little tune-in so they have a minute to stop. And today, I think that should be the tune-in. I think that little prayer should give everyone a minute to pause and be with us. So thank you so much for that. Welcome to the Crystals In podcast. As always, I'm your host, Crystal, and I have a new friend, Marina, with me today, who I have just been in awe of learning, watching, being in a container with these last couple months. And we are so lucky that she um agreed to come and has time to share some of these amazing practices with us. Um, some things that I've tapped into a little bit have completely changed my life, the things I can access, the pace at which I access things. And so I'm coming to this discussion with I want to know more because I haven't even scratched the surface. And this is a woman who has done this for 20 years and embodies some really amazing holistic practices for women in particular. So thank you for being here.

SPEAKER_01 2:51

Thank you, Crystal, for having me. I'm so excited. Ah, so how would you introduce yourself? I'm a somatic intimacy coach.

SPEAKER_02 3:01

I've been in this field for a long time. I started off with a lot of personal development. And uh right now it's like bringing all of these pieces together as my medicine bundle with spirituality, with mindset, and with a lot of somatic intelligence, somatic practices for the nervous system to have capacity to do all the things we want to do and chase our dreams and also be healthy and wealthy and embodied in so many ways.

SPEAKER_00 3:31

Yeah. It sounds like what everybody is asking for and craving and sharing, you know, these days. And you've been doing it for a lot longer than it's been popular on social media and in the world. And so I am curious about what put you on this path and if you're willing to share a little bit, a little window into your personal story. How did you get here and why did you feel called to this work?

SPEAKER_02 4:00

Absolutely. Well, mainly because I, again, I started with like Tony Robbins and a lot of like male mentors that I had 20 years ago. They were all men in the personal development world. I think Ali Brown was like the only chick in there, but there was a lot of bro marketing. There's a lot of like real estate and diversifying your income kind of tone. And I was growing and evolving and I was seeing good results. But then I start scratching my head. I'm like, where are my feminine mentors at? Where are the the women who are millionaires and who are mamas? Because I saw that, like, you know, there's a lot of these masculine pillars that are, you know, sharing brilliant concepts of growth and they're having great results, but it's not sustainable and it's not made for my body. So then I just kind of like put that aside and I started intentionally bringing more feminine mentors in, somatic practices and spirituality in. Um, so that kind of like rounded my perspective a lot, and uh yeah, creates a lot more sustainability in that way. But on a personal journey is because you know, I didn't come from a perfect family. So it's my own drama, traumas that bring me to this work of like, oh, how are you so functional? Let me learn from this. Um, and especially hearing people's stories, like the best leaders out there, they have the most devastating stories of being homeless, being on the streets, like not having the best of childhoods. But I think that's what inspired me is like, you know, by learning from their stories. And my stories were not as bad, but I'm like, if you can get there from where you were, I want to learn how. Um, so I think it's this like subconscious seeking in me that's like, I just want to grow and evolve into the best version of myself. Because, you know, for as long as I know it, this is the only lifetime in the body that I have right now. So let's go.

SPEAKER_00 6:01

Yeah, I mean, none of us can know for sure. So I love that. I love that when you use that phrase, let's go. What did you find with having all these bro mentors, even people like Tony Robbins, who there are some brilliant things that he does, and I really love and get behind. But when you find yourself in a world with all of that sort of personal uh evolvement with that frame on it, what are we missing? Like what sent you seeking? Like, why do we need uh women encouragement embodiment? What's it called? Like the self-help category? What would you call it? Um so what can you maybe talk a little bit more about the masculine and feminine in that regard?

SPEAKER_02 6:48

Yeah, and that's a great question because I'm I don't want to put the masculine framework down. It works and it works for a long time and it's still working. It's just not made for everybody. So the way just masculine bodies are made to work, they're very straightforward, forward-orienting, very phallic, and they they just go, go, go, right. And they achieve, they climb up those ladders. And uh sometimes it's just not sustainable for feminine bodies. So that's where women can go for a few months and then they can burn out. They put it all in and then they don't see the result or something. Some something is not being reciprocated, and they just pull back. But there's this inconsistent piece that I'm seeing in women where they go in and then they pull back for whatever reasons, for their nervous system, time, energy, overwhelm, pregnancies, babies, family um responsibilities. But somehow there is this coming and going that's happening with women that I'm noticing. And that's why it's important to include the feminine framework because it's more cyclical. It's not linear, but it's more cyclical. And when we can learn about our own seasons within our bodies, within our life, we understand the highs and lows, and there are different seasons for creating, for being inwards more, for gestation period, and then to come out and deliver your message, deliver your mission. So by respecting the ebbs and flows of the cyclical nature, I think that's the main difference. It's more sustainable for women then, and we don't have to like burn out and then start over. There's just more sustainable quality to it.

SPEAKER_00 8:35

I I love that because what I hear you saying is if there's nothing wrong with it. You were just noticing a different system at play with women. And so to support that better, we need to figure out how, speak to it, accommodate for it. One's not better than the other, but it's just like a completely different system that wasn't being uh accommodated. Um, and so therefore, maybe not maximized and not sustainable is what you're saying, because what a tragedy. And I've noticed that too, that if you can't assimilate women's gifts in certain professions or seats at the table or whatnot, we have really learned how much we're missing out on, how much wisdom, how much make matriarchy, how much um circular energy and just uplifting of every experience and situation. But if we don't know how to access it or use it, then what? We just completely miss out on it. And that sounds like that's describing the story and what you were observing 20 years ago. And at least for me, correct me if I'm wrong, I really relate to that. I really relate to and have so many things that my memory's tagging back to, like, wow, how many things were missed out on when there wasn't an ability for that modus operandi to be incorporated into whatever we were doing, whatever container. Um, and it's barely better today. So I'm so curious.

SPEAKER_02 10:12

We still have a long way to go. We still have a long way to go. And if I can bring a metaphor, it's like the bird that's flying with only one wing, with only the masculine. And like if we are to zoom into it just a little more, right now we're bringing more um feminine practices. That's why you know you're and I here on the call talking about there's a lot more conversation about the feminine energetics, feminine ways of doing business, um, that's more sustainable. Masculine energy is brilliant for a lot of things, um, but it's also like not the full picture.

SPEAKER_00 10:50

Yeah, I love that. And what are some of those benefits? Can you highlight some of those things for us that maybe we don't know? We don't know. Like, what is what are the gifts of the feminine?

SPEAKER_02 11:02

Yeah, absolutely. So I'll actually start with the masculine first because we're so familiar with these concepts. And again, when I talk about these concepts, I also see it as four quadrants, actually. So I don't know if you're familiar with a concept above the line, below the line, but it's a concept used in personal development where it's when we're conscious about something and operating in the healthiest version of ourselves. And then there's the below the line where we are not operating in our highest, when we are, you know, unconsciously doing stuff. So the feminine and masculine have those two quadrants, conscious and unconscious, healthy and unhealthy patterns. So the masculine first can play out in its conscious, full, brilliant version. It's it gives direction. It's very like direction-oriented, it gets stuff done, it's got the drive, it's the space holder, it's protective. It's like the big papa bear or grandpa energy. Say, come over here, I'll, you know. It can offer space holding and support without micromanaging or doing it for you or criticizing. It's the ultimate like space holder for support, stability that like rock and anchor in our life. Right. And when it's out of balance, okay, maybe it's just me, maybe it's other people can relate. But the masculine traits could be more controlling, manipulative, aggressive, unstable, you know, that masculine that come and go to.

SPEAKER_01 12:40

Like to me, that's the most trait that I have like it gets to me, the unstable masculine. That's like the pedo pan, you know, it comes and goes. I'm like, oh my gosh. And unsupportive, right? So those are the masculine traits.

SPEAKER_02 12:55

And again, in bigger concepts, too, we want to surround ourselves with masculine traits, men in our life, partners, you know, mentors, uh, friends, etc. And we want to encourage those qualities that are more of the highest, but we also can exercise them for ourselves and be with the protector, be that guiding force and lean on our own masculine.

SPEAKER_00 13:22

So these concepts have to look outside of us, regardless of what gender we identify with right now. We can fully step into that energy ourselves if we need it, is what you're saying.

SPEAKER_02 13:32

Yes. And a matter of fact, the more we can embrace and embody that energy within ourselves, the more is going to mirror and um materialize outside of ourselves. Right? Because if if if women are people are looking for safety and stability in a man or in a partner or outside, and that's the narrative that I need stability out there, then they're outsourcing that from within themselves. And when they have that stability and they are the safe place, they can tap into that, they're gonna just hold that vibration and elevate that vibration for everything inside, outside, in their business, as a parent, everywhere. They won't tolerate less than that. Does that make sense?

SPEAKER_00 14:20

Yeah, and what a beautiful, empowering reminder.

SPEAKER_02 14:24

Yeah, so and then if we move into the feminine qualities, the feminine energy, which that feminine quality is in balance and healthy, it's there is this like ebb and flow. There's flexibility, there's a permission to change directions. Like, oh, we had one plan and then we shape shifted. So there's flow. There is this like infinite compassion, like the great mama energy, right? Infinite compassion, um, wisdom from the feminine, right? And because of that ebb and flow, too, it's because she's connected to her emotions. And I think that's the mastery of the conscious feminine is like to know our emotions, but not let the emotions take over. And then the last one that I love the most is she's vulnerable. Like that the feminine can be vulnerable with her own emotions, with the truth, with revealing the truth in the space, but in a vulnerable way. Okay, so that's from the conscious perspective. And then when the feminine goes into the unconscious uh ways, she can also be critical. She judges and criticizes others and herself. Um, the people pleaser, I'll do anything for you to love me. I'll do, I'll please you and you and you and you, and I'll over, you know, I'll compromise my own self-love and me. So those are so just knowing that we can be out of balance and in balance, the healthy and the unhealthy. And those qualities also can be um embodied and cultivated within ourselves and then outside of ourselves.

SPEAKER_00 16:04

That's amazing. I definitely have areas in my life I can see in the past and right now that reside in all four quadrants. Like, you know, just to see it clearly.

SPEAKER_01 16:17

Anybody else out there?

SPEAKER_00 16:18

Probably not only you. And it's really cool to have clarity on some of that. And what are some of the things that bring the conscious feminine that we have been missing, as we've sort of agreed on that concept, missing in business, missing in coaching and support and self-evolution, like practices and information out there? What do we need to bring back in? And how does that support the natural conscious feminine? The feminine qualities you're saying. Let me clarify. I'm thinking like we kind of painted the picture of this masculine world and coaching and business and directing and just ideas that we've inferred or inceptionized in the culture we live in, like forward motion, always be working, or what would it look like for the conscious feminine to show up in these spaces? And it's kind of a it's kind of a loaded question because it's very difficult to see something and understand and be convinced that something's necessary when we haven't had a model for it before.

SPEAKER_02 17:24

Yeah. Well, you're right by naming we've exercised the patriarchal in the masculine ways for 4,000 years. So let's just normalize that that we've been so conditioned in our bones and our DNA to glorify the masculine traits: productivity, always knowing the answer, the direction, follow through, deliver, you know, provide. So we've glorified those qualities. And the feminine qualities are still like we're unlearning the old ways and learning the new ways that, hey, my emotions are also as valid. What I bring to the table matters. Because the masculine could be the container or the house, but the feminine is the energy, the warmth, that she makes it all work, right? It's like she blends it all together. She's the cauldron that keeps it all alive. So once we start exercising those qualities more and more, we'll start valuing them more and more. But just in our culture, they have been so devalued that sometimes for women, when I teach like pleasure practices, intimacy, magnetism work, one of the most common things that comes up for women is how productive is this? Where can I fit this in my day? Right? Should I make space for it? Like, wow, like I gotta make time for this now. I'm busy. Right? So there's a lot of rewiring of start, you know, valuing these practices and then seeing how how they they actually work and how important they are. And I can bring you an example of like the the example that you brought with mass race, like, wow, I have a plan to, you know, go on a trip somewhere and hike, and I have the specific plan that I'm going to execute with the packing and the hotels, you know, the whole itinerary thing. And then you can feel that something is not working. You're following the wrong road, it's not clicking, you're you're something's off, right? So this can be a business project or a trip or a relationship, but something's off. And the masculine goes, just do more, go harder, get a different strategy in, train more, right? Be more. The feminine has the wisdom to course correct and that quality of flow. Okay, give yourself the permission to shift.

unknown 19:50

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 19:50

The water is always shifty, right? So she gives herself the permission to pull back and maybe take a pause and go, What's going on here? Why am I disconnected? Something's off. And then by giving herself the permission, the time to shape shift, we go, wow, it's actually disconnected from my heart. My heart is no longer in this. I'm emotionally like not connected to my business or this this adventure, this trip that I'm doing. I'm doing it for the wrong reasons. So the feminine can shift and flow, course correct, tap into and confront the real emotions, the why we're here, and then tap into and then and then seek like again the quality of like she's cyclical. So she goes, Who do I know? Maybe there's like a counselor, a therapist, a sister, a mastermind. Maybe I need to do a plan medicine journey somewhere, completely exit out for a weekend. Let me get some external perspective from my tribe to get more wisdom for a full picture. And then she comes back with either more passion, more heart. Like what's needed? What are the ingredients that are needed to either complete this project or shift it? Maybe I need to bring a partner in or a speaker in or someone else or a buddy on my travel, something like that. But we come back to more wholeness and the picture again becomes more holistic for us. So we're not just following the plan, like a traditional masculine way would be to just follow the plan for the sake of it, and then it empties us out. It could, not always, but it could, versus the feminine can just add more ingredients or shape shift and correct or pull out and give yourself the permission to just opt out. Yeah. Bringing back to a fuller yes.

SPEAKER_00 21:42

Yeah, or a sacred no. I love that. Now that is a really good sell for bringing in more feminine energy to lots of projects. The clarity, the wisdom, and the course correcting in and of itself is a really great benefit and design. A great place to start to open that door and help us see how imperative and important and beautiful and sacred these qualities can be in yourself, in a group, at work. It speaks to actually being more efficient, not less efficient, right? Yeah. And that piece of you mentioned a couple times, the way by which that's accomplished. And that's sort of what I was trying to listen for. What are the practices? What are the things that we need to accept to move the needle? And you said twice the going away, sort of the retreating, the coming out and going in, and then going to get what you need, pondering on it and coming back. And that one skill seems very scary, very opposite the masculine world, and not assimilated into our systems at all. So I think I'm hearing the benefit in doing that and being like, absolutely, if if that's what it takes, I guess my question is, is that the most potent practice? And how would you suggest that we do that to get the best result? Because I'm feeling like, oh my gosh, that would not. I feel the resistance to that being accepted and the fear around even someone that I need disappearing and coming back, but in this sacred way, not in the wounded masculine way, in a sacred feminine way.

SPEAKER_01 23:37

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 23:38

Well, I think the distinction, and I'm glad that you caught that. I think the distinction here is am I taking this time to reassess in a conscious way? Or am I just pulling out because of drama, traumas, and I'm escaping something? Right? Because sometimes we can retreat and we can pull away from a relationship or a business or project for different reasons. So am I doing this again, above the line, below the line, consciously or unconsciously? And can I then communicate that and say, hey, I'll be back on Monday and I'll have a clear answer for you. I'm not just dropping you dead here. I'm investing into deepening more alignment, more presence, more joy, more energy, more everything. So I can be in congruence together here with you, right? And with this, whatever we're doing. So not escaping it. But again, this is a big distinction because the masculine ways is keep going, go harder, and just you know, stay committed to what you said, right? And pulling back is almost like it feels like a step back or a pause, but it's actually like a sacred pause or a pregnant pause. We're course correcting here. Maybe we need 10 degrees to the side here. You know, so it's it's very valuable. So again, we are choosing to pull back to reassess so we can move in the right direction.

SPEAKER_00 25:07

And then you mentioned communication and what a beautiful conscious feminine quality when used correctly. Let's please take credit for that. Like that changes everything, right? When you can communicate consciously and gently. So thank you for that. Okay, so what you teach, how does the sensuality and the practices you teach shift us in this direction?

SPEAKER_01 25:35

Yeah, well, great question. And again, we're getting out of how productive this is, right? This is unproductive. Until it is.

SPEAKER_02 25:48

Again, sometimes like pulling back, it feels like we're moving back, but we're actually like force correcting. Right? And we pull back to reconnect with the self. So the pleasure practices, the sensuality piece, the bringing back and returning to that life force. Like, and the question is, what excites me? You know, where's my North Star? Where is my energy? Where's my essence? Where's my joy? And sometimes for women, it's like, where did I lose that magnetism that I had either in the beginning of my marriage or when I was in my 20s? I had all this energy, I had all this passion. And where did it all go? Right? So there is the quest for gaining that back, regaining that, you know, being in touch with ourselves again. Um, so in the beginning, it doesn't feel like it's the most important thing to do. But once we course correct it, that energy is actually like sensuality, it is also it's our life force energy, it's our creativity, it's our magnetism. It's what people feel in your presence before you speak. Right? Someone walks in an elevator or someone walks into the room or someone is on video, and you can tell it's their energy that speaks first. And that's what we feel. Right? How turned on are you about your own life? So that's where this concept of intimacy actually is very valuable, and it goes a long way because it doesn't only improve your life in the bedroom in our relationships, but it fuels who we are. It's the life force that you you have more energy to, more things that you love, you're more passionate about it. And it's so deeply felt. People feel that, and that's what actually that's what they want more of is they want more of that energy.

SPEAKER_00 27:52

Yeah, and it feels like a masculine question to ask, but I'm just going to ask it what more can I do to get that? What do I have to do to get it? And it sounds like you're saying, look, brace yourself because I'm I want to answer your question, but what is gonna come out of Marina's mouth is actually may seem counterintuitive, or it may seem like it's not gonna get you that answer.

SPEAKER_02 28:20

Yeah, I will try to pick that line of thoughts and I will say do more yin, do more feminine practices, do more bubble baths, do more fun things that give you pleasure and joy, spend more time in your garden, play, paint, do more of all that yin stuff, that's what I would say. But again, because we are unlearning years of masculine sexuality, masculine conditioning, even like when we talk about sensuality or sexuality, is like there is a masculine trajectory to what sex and sexuality even looks like. You know, there's a stimulation, there is a turn on, someone has an orgasm and then it dies off.

SPEAKER_00 29:11

Well, that was a big question I had for you. Actually, was can you tell us the difference between sexuality and sensuality? Intimacy. Absolutely.

SPEAKER_02 29:21

That's that's we yeah, yeah. Differentiating that is really important because in North America, everything is so sex focused. So we have a lot of focus on sexuality and we have a lot of trauma and you know, trauma with sex and sexuality here. And that's what people are also like sometimes afraid of, or they're like, they're afraid that it's gonna go there too quickly, too soon, not in a desired way. And it's almost like a um protective mechanism. Sometimes what happens for women, especially with sexual abuse, that they're like, ooh, but not that. And then they close the door altogether to everything that's sexy and sensual. So dressing up too sexy is asking for attention. Uh, putting makeup is also like, so you see, a lot of women that I start working with, they're actually like covering up, even like gaining weight sometimes. Emotionally unavailable people, or they'll say the wrong thing, wrong crowd. It's it's a lot of it in the subconscious. And in the practices of tantra, it's like there is a lot of focus on just expanding your senses. Like, literally, the translation of tantra means expanding your senses for all of life. Suddenly surrounding yourself with beautiful flowers, smelling your coffee or your dessert before you know sift it or bite it. It's putting some maybe like essential oils and perfume for you and for your joy and pleasure. So you get to smell it first. It's it's again when we're transitioning into feminine pleasure and sensual practices, sensory tools, like all our entire body has orgasmic areas. So there's a whole practice of like body mapping to like discover some orgasmic areas in our body that are like your ears, your eyebrows, your lips, your breasts can have an orgasm. So we tap into this nature of being a multi-orgasmic being, not just focusing on sexuality in a sexual orgasm necessarily, but opening up so many other senses, the smell, the touch, the feel, before the anticipation of it all, before it even happens, before it even like goes to sexuality. So I'm like inviting women in the first like few months just to like milk that area and expand the range of how much can you actually feel with your senses. And a lot of it sometimes starts with like, I'm actually numb, I'm not feeling anything. So there's like that too that we encounter because we've either used vibrators or like again, exercised only sexuality and you know, not given ourselves the time for sensuality and romanticizing our life and senses. Very often women are like, there's nothing happening. And because we're so quick and in our executive brains, we're like, well, I only have 10 minutes for it. And if it's not gonna happen now, then it doesn't work.

SPEAKER_01 32:34

Right.

SPEAKER_02 32:36

Like, okay, then I need another strategy, another lingerie, another what else can I do to fix that instead of just staying with the feels and being like, wow, numbness, interesting curiosity about the numbness. And like just sitting and feeling what happens there without judgment, without running away, without you know, escaping or trauma response of flea, fight, fawn, all of that. And things do shift and evolve, and that's the distinction from masculine sensuality and masculine sexuality to feminine sensuality and sexuality. It feels more regulating for the nervous system, it requires more space and time. It feels without a goal, it doesn't have to go anywhere, it doesn't have to reach an orgasm, it doesn't have a destination. It like has a lot of space and time. So I hope I'm answering that question.

SPEAKER_00 33:38

Yeah, so fully. When you were talking about it, I was getting chills. I was like, oh my gosh. Uh, and the overwhelming sense of hearing you talk as you're embodying it is relief. Just this relief that I could imagine the feminine aspects of my body and my thought processes are enjoying hearing the permissiveness and you talking about it like that. Because of course, what kills joy and sensuality and presence more than putting an expectation or a performance limit on something, right? As soon as I have intentions for a certain outcome or performance on myself, my horses, my kids, that's when everything goes to shit. Like almost guarantee it. And so in this area of your life and in all areas, it makes so much sense to me. And I think the thing that I wanted to highlight that felt so good, sort of at the beginning of when you were talking, was you were expanding what we've previously been taught is either non-existent or a very sliver, small part of beginning to end and a sensual experience. Sensual uh would be that small sliver, and we've mostly just been calling the whole thing sexuality. And you sort of parse that out and then kind of peeled open that that window to make it larger. And it felt to me like we are headed in this direction with mindfulness and intention. And that word is so popular and acceptable and awesome because it's so far away, it's not triggering yet, but it is the beginning of what you were talking about, smelling the perfume, tasting your food. And it felt so much gentler and nicer to hear you kind of move us from mindfulness into slowly saying, but then sensuality is just continuing to expand that. And there's no rush, there's no expectation, there's no, you know, end goal here, but just keep expanding that. And that is what we're calling sensuality, and that feels so much safer and relieving and missing. And so I just loved your sort of like taking us through that journey and thank you for that. And also the third and final thing commentary on that that I wanted to kind of pull out and double-click on was you said oftentimes in this space, it is very normal for my clients to say, I'm numb, I don't even know what I like. How do I even get there? Because almost a decade ago, my sister gave me this book called First Kill All the Marriage Counselors. And it was a book on relationships. I don't know if you've heard of it. Since now, I think they've re-kind of done the book and changed the title, but same material. And it focused on the women and her and their pleasure and them being the muse. And they said it's mutually exclusive. We can work on a man in a relationship and it can help the marriage and change it. But if the woman doesn't participate, it never will. So, like you can have the man and the woman, um, and you can just have the woman, but you can't just have the man. Like the woman's a defining factor to being able to tap into this to if a relationship is expandable. And that was the first practice in the book, is what you said. And I remember feeling that. I remember the practice for a month was every day finding three things that I enjoy. And I went almost the whole month not being able to do it.

unknown 37:14

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 37:15

And that's the thing, it takes the time that it will take. And that's the first step that's like I encourage on this path, if somebody's like interested and it really resonates, is stop outsourcing your pleasure and your sensuality. Right. And that relational aspect. Stop sourcing it. That's why the work is done with yourself first. So, what gives me pleasure, what gives me joy? Um, what are my go-tos and clarifying that for ourselves? It starts over here because very often we'll outsource it to the husband, to the relationship, to another tool, whether it's a sex toy or a therapist or whatever that is, but we outsource everything and we don't have responsibility for it. But once we start taking ownership and responsibility, that's how life gets really juicy and we get motivated for, you know, to yeah, we're more in it, right? Like we're more invested. And it's just it's like a magnifying glass that just like everything turns on and gets better in our life.

unknown 38:23

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 38:24

And also, one thing I'm gonna say is just with feminine pleasure, just how we see there's such a variety of women and feminine expressions. Someone can be super feminine, someone is a little more, I don't know, like hip hop-y, someone is a little more businessy, someone is a soccer moments. They're so good at it. Like there's such a variety of the feminine, and that's what I encourage is there is not one role model or an archetype to move towards, because that's again our us externalizing that, but it's discovering your own fullness, your own full expression of your raw feminine, the real, the real thing in you that's very unique and different for everyone, and that's where we're after.

SPEAKER_00 39:09

There's no way to be doing it wrong. Like, there's no way to be like, well, I'm not being feminine because I'm not feminine like her, like how she's being feminine. Like, I am feminine in my way. And how is this? How is how have you experienced it in your life? Like, do you have any cool stories? What's changed for you?

SPEAKER_02 39:30

I think what's changed for me, so I recently just got divorced, and what's changed for me is now like really bringing the power back to me to how do I want to date and how do I want to be in a relationship? So I'm actually not rushed to jump into another relationship, but I'm actually really like turned on about like having these conversations and articulating what I like and how I like it. And that goes for my time, my quality time, what I do, dance, energy, sexuality, touch, feel. Like I get to create it so fully now and take that power back versus just expecting someone else to know what to do with my life and my body. And that's really, really empowering. That's really daring and empowering. Leading those conversations as a woman in this world. And I go, well, hang on first. Let's get rare coins in here.

SPEAKER_01 40:29

Ask for permission. This is what I like, this is what I don't like. And really like educating people on my time and space is refreshing and so empowering.

SPEAKER_02 40:41

Because yes, it's a little more edgy in the beginning, but you get more return on your investment too. So there's a lot more success that comes back as well. Um, because I know a lot of times we waste so much time and space, and especially with women, I had that complex of being a people pleaser. So I'll give so much of my time to my family, my partner. And then at the end, like nobody's happy. And I'm like, oh my God, I just poured like weeks of my time and eliminated things from my calendar to please you guys, and nobody's happy in the in at the end. So right now, that's the practice and the piece is like learning about myself, learning about my turn on, my boundaries, my desires, and articulate that, communicate that with love, and then being met in those. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 41:39

That's so real, that's so relatable. Like, and in the spirit of that, like there was all there are all these questions I like could ask you and have the desire to ask you. But I it feels like I kind of want to say now, like, what's important with all that that that you need to tell us? Like, what do we what do I not know that I don't know?

SPEAKER_02 42:00

I'm laughing now because I feel like God is speaking through me. I'm like, you know how yogis, we have this like heart space, and we're like, tap into your heart where your heart will lead you. Well, your pussy also has an intelligence. And if we can tap into like the pussy and the womb wisdom, she will lead us to great places. So listen to that poll of like, what is she telling you? And sometimes that could that practice could be literally like a hand on your womb or your pussy, and to be like, what does she want to do actually now? Or in my Tantra workshops, I'll I'll ask women, what does the your muse, the archetype of the muse, what would your muse have you do? And it could be edgy, it could be like taboo, it could be that like repressed desire, but it's like, ooh, I want to get into like, I don't know, a rope workshop, or I want to go and have a dinner in the dungeon somewhere, or I want to go to Burning Mat, like something that goes like completely out of the blue, but she leads you there. So I truly believe that there are these energetic centers in our body, and like the womb and the pussy is one of them. And you know, there's a lot of intelligence in our body. So if we can just drop our awareness and like start also taking her in consideration, she will lead us to fun, great places as well that that creates safety and expansion in a massive way. So I would say, like, follow your desire that poll and uh just do it in also like a safe way that you know is including your boundaries and your guardrails, if you may. Um, but move in that direction. That will never leave you astray. That would never be like 10 years from now, the woman would be like, I just wasted 10 years of my life waiting for this partner, waiting for this dream to happen. It's not happening. Well, if you find Follow your pussy. She will never leave you astray. So that's what I would say is go and do that. What would she want you to do today?

SPEAKER_00 44:09

Oh, I love that. That's going to be my mantra this week.

SPEAKER_01 44:14

Let's go. Please text me about the places and spaces. You'll think.

SPEAKER_00 44:25

Guess what led me here? And thank you for that bravery and an explanation. And so I can just I can feel. And I want you to tell if you'd be willing. The listeners, like, if someone were to work with you, because all of that is a lot. And especially if some listeners are hearing this for the first time, I love that you you use the word edgy. If what you're hearing is feeling like a full yes, you know, in any part of your body, and you want to run towards it because you're ready for it, great. And if parts of you are like you're saying, feeling like, whoa, that's that's down here for me, or I need some help or support getting there. I can feel like your embodiment and support and why you do this for a living, because you fill those gaps, right? For them. And so, what like what support do you offer? What could people need who are maybe feeling like, I love everything you're saying? I just have no idea. I have no idea how to get there. And I don't know or trust myself or feel safe enough that I could get there by myself.

SPEAKER_02 45:26

Right now it's like the hot girl summer, and it's just tapping into that hot girl energy. Uh, so there's one-on-one support where we open the parameters and we look into your life and how to bring joy and pleasure and intimacy in it so it benefits every area of one's life. Um, I love working with women in massive life transitions because I think it's a golden opportunity where one aspect of one way of living our life is ending, and the nervous system might want to reproduce the same thing for the sake of safety. And that's the most important grow growing sprout in a woman's life. So this is the time to invest in yourself and again let your pleasure and joy lead you to the next chapter of your life. Um, later in the fall, we're gonna have a group container that's coming up. And I also have some workshops like Tantra 101, very mellow things that are also like with your own self, with your own practice. So check out, I would say. And it's a great, like when I work with people's desires and goals, it's a great place to have something again that excites you, that there is a desire inside, like, ooh, there's a curiosity. I want to lean in and do that. And then there's a little fear, a little edge that we encounter. And it goes, ooh, that's a little uncomfortable. That is actually the sweet spot for our dreams and goals because guess what? It's gonna keep you excited and leaning in the direction of something that is calling you forward. And the fear factors turn into turn into the growth factor. That's when you're gonna acquire the tools, the practices, nervous system regulation, somatic work to actually expand capacity and grow into that next version of yourself. So I love when people go, I am so scared to show up to your workshop.

SPEAKER_01 47:19

I don't even know what to wear, I don't even know where to cry. Perfect, great, you came to the right place.

SPEAKER_02 47:29

So I want to normalize all the feels and just tell you that yeah, fear and the next level is uncomfortable. And yet your pleasure will never leave you astray. So worth it.

SPEAKER_00 47:43

Wow, that is beautiful and encouraging and so beautifully said. And I just really can't advocate enough for getting support in that area and just like, you know, recommend getting a hold of you and reaching out if people need anything, because you are such a supportive grounding presence in these spaces. And we need that. We don't, we don't experience trauma and the things we're going through alone. We don't heal alone. We need to redo it with co-regulation, with support and a coach and someone like that, and and and someone who can keep reminding us that to normalize and keep moving forward and live in that little edge uh of space so that we can get what we want. Like you said, expand, be magnetic. All of these things that we want, but don't know how to achieve it. We can lean into the uncomfortability to achieve it. It sounds like is a beautiful message you're sending. And like I can't keep talking because I can't say it any better than you just said it. Um and the last you're welcome. The last question, I kind of asked it, but the last thing I always ask before I close, if you have time, um, is just is there anything else on your heart if you pause or from any part of your body that you know where we want the wisdom from that you want to leave with us, uh just for the collective in the space and time?

SPEAKER_02 49:14

I love that question. Yeah. What's coming through is this in this world of the great time of uncertainty right now, what we need more of is women who are really turned on, and women who are brave and courageous. And I honestly think that our sensuality, it's that life force, it's literally it's that the chakra is orange, so it's the same like energy center for creativity, for joy, for being more resourceful. So we need people who are like just more brave, more creative, more artsy, more tapped into their pleasure and all those things. So I just want to say that that matters. Your joy, your pleasure matters, and that's what we need more of. Not more certainty, not more, you know, people who are doing it perfectly, but like people who are really turned on in their wildness, in their magic, in their medicine. That's who we need. And that's where we get to weave this tapestry of humanity that are diverse, that's different, that we can lean into our tribe and be like, oh, because we're so unique, and there's more color and more flavor and more people who are in their true magic and they're in their like fuck yes, kind of essence. That's what we need more of.

SPEAKER_00 50:39

Wow. Thank you. I'm inspired to be in more of that, and I feel encouraged and supported in that. And I think anybody who listens to this is going to feel some of that. And so I just need to thank you. You're welcome, and thank you.

SPEAKER_02 50:57

Such a lighthouse with your voice, and just like I love that you're you're such a powerhouse of bringing people's joy and magic out of them, and you're just such a sister. You're like always showering people with so much love, so much celebration, and seeing the brilliance in people around you, everything you do. So, thank you so much for being such a lighthouse in this time. Yes.

SPEAKER_00 51:24

You're welcome. Till next time, Namaste.

SPEAKER_01 51:29

Thank you. Bye.

SPEAKER_00 51:30

Thank you for listening. Connect with me on Instagram at Crystal Zen Yoga. Subscribe on my website at crystalzinyoga.com to receive tools and practices for your holistic journey and to be the first to know about offerings, workshops, trainings, and retreats. We live in powerful times that require courage, bravery, compassion, authenticity, community, and grounding. You're not alone. Check out my free content, classes, and meditations on YouTube under Crystal Zinn Yoga and have a beautiful day. Satnaw, I think.