How to Write a Memoir About Abuse, with Boni Woodland

Trigger warning: This episode includes discussion of domestic abuse, coercive control, religious trauma, sexual assault, and emotional abuse. Please take care while listening.

In this episode of The Resilient Writers Radio Show, I’m joined by author, artist, and survivor Boni Woodland to talk about her memoir, Turning Survival Into Words: From Houses of Fear to Freedom. 

This is a powerful and tender conversation about survival, voice, healing, and the courage it takes to tell the truth about a life that was once shaped by silence.

Boni’s book began in therapy. After her life had settled enough for her to look back, she realized that her past was still affecting her present. But speaking about what had happened to her was incredibly difficult. 

For much of her life, Boni says, it “wasn’t a privilege to speak my mind.” So before therapy sessions, she began writing down the incidents she wanted to discuss. Over time, those pages became a collection of memories, painful moments, and turning points — and eventually, the beginning of a book.

In our conversation, Boni shares what it was like to grow up inside a controlling religious environment that shaped nearly every part of her life: what she could wear, what she could eat, who she could spend time with, who she could marry, and what was expected of her as a woman. 

Those beliefs followed her into marriage, where she moved from one controlling situation into another. What she hoped would be freedom became another form of captivity.

One of the most striking parts of Boni’s memoir is the way she organizes the story around the different houses she lived in. Each house becomes a marker of a particular stage in her life, and the chapter titles — including “The House of Non-Consent,” “The House of No Money,” “The House of Hunger,” and “The House of Chilling” — help readers understand the slow progression of abuse, control, isolation, and fear.

Boni wanted to write the book she once needed. She talks about how hard it can be for people outside an abusive relationship to understand why someone doesn’t “just leave.” 

As she explains, when you have no money, no family support, no access to education, no safe place to go, and children to protect, leaving is not simple. Her hope is that readers will better understand that reality — and that anyone who sees themselves in her story will feel less alone.

We also talk about one of Boni’s first acts of quiet resistance: sneaking to the library. Surrounded by books, she began looking for language, understanding, and hope. She wanted to read a story from someone who had survived and found a way forward. In many ways, Turning Survival Into Words became that book.

This episode is a deeply moving conversation about writing through pain, reclaiming your voice, and turning a difficult past into something that may help someone else find their own path toward freedom.