Parenting is an endurance test of epic proportions, and this week we take you on a wild ride as we share our adventures, late-night capers, and the effects of sleep deprivation on our recent kid-free vacation that left us more exhausted than relaxed. We also get into the big questions of life, including the the five liquids we would keep on finger tap and whether or not Helen Keller existed.
After that we get to a few lighter questions including ADHD/ASD diagnoses, diverging religious beliefs, and strained family relationships and maintaining boundaries. Regular segments like Greg's Reads and Bad Dad / Mean Mom are sprinkled in there too, so join us as we navigate these topics with honesty, humor, and a dash of oversharing. You just might end the episode feeling better than when you started.
If you've got a voicemail or want our (likely unqualified) advice on something, hit us up at the Speakpipe link below!
http://www.speakpipe.com/oversharingwiththeoverbys
If you'd like to email us you can reach the pod at oversharing@jojohnsonoverby.com!
CONNECT:
TikTok: @jojohnsonoverby / @matt.overby
Instagram: @jojohnsonoverby / @matt.overby
Website: https://jojohnsonoverby.com/
Watch the Podcast: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL29Si0ylWz2qj5t6hYHSCxYkvZCDGejGq
Parenting is an endurance test of epic proportions, and this week we take you on a wild ride as we share our adventures, late-night capers, and the effects of sleep deprivation on our recent kid-free vacation that left us more exhausted than relaxed. We also get into the big questions of life, including the the five liquids we would keep on finger tap and whether or not Helen Keller existed.
After that we get to a few lighter questions including ADHD/ASD diagnoses, diverging religious beliefs, and strained family relationships and maintaining boundaries. Regular segments like Greg's Reads and Bad Dad / Mean Mom are sprinkled in there too, so join us as we navigate these topics with honesty, humor, and a dash of oversharing. You just might end the episode feeling better than when you started.
If you've got a voicemail or want our (likely unqualified) advice on something, hit us up at the Speakpipe link below!
http://www.speakpipe.com/oversharingwiththeoverbys
If you'd like to email us you can reach the pod at oversharing@jojohnsonoverby.com!
CONNECT:
TikTok: @jojohnsonoverby / @matt.overby
Instagram: @jojohnsonoverby / @matt.overby
Website: https://jojohnsonoverby.com/
Watch the Podcast: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL29Si0ylWz2qj5t6hYHSCxYkvZCDGejGq
Welcome to Oversharing with Overbys. I'm Jo.
Matt:And I'm Matt.
Jo:And each week you can tune in to hear us respond to your voice mails, go in depth on our lives as content creators and hopefully leave you feeling even better than we found you.
Matt:With that being said, let's get to oversharing.
Jo:Matt's fired. I like to open today's podcast by saying there's an open position for a new co-host on oversharing with Overvies.
Matt:OK, we've been, we've been busy.
Jo:We have been busy, you're not wrong.
Matt:You're going to do this solo until you find a replacement, or get out. No, I'm just going to say like I'll save me some time here, I can get him out of the room at least. So we can. You can be a focused solo podcaster.
Jo:Yeah, no, we've been really busy, and not even with anything that productive, I feel like.
Matt:Yeah, not especially.
Jo:It feels I don't know. Being a parent, I'm sure anybody listening to this has kids can relate. It's the most. It just goes against everything you learn in American culture.
Matt:Yeah.
Jo:Do you know what I mean?
Matt:It does. What's funny is, I think we went on like a kid free vacation. We decompressed and I feel like maybe we needed the compression. I feel like we decompressed and then we got back and we've just been continuing to decompress.
Jo:OK, tell me more.
Matt:We're recovering.
Jo:I'd like you to kind of unwrap that more for me.
Matt:Unwrap it. You know, it was really nice to have a vacation away from the kids for a couple nights, but then we got back for one. Our travel arrangements were Maybe not horrendous, but they weren't great.
Jo:They left something to be imagined.
Matt:Yeah, they, the scheduling was a little tricky, so it turns out flying into a didn't pick OK yeah.
Jo:I'd like to start by saying we did not pick our travel arrangements for last week. It was not by choice. Well, we did pick some of them. Fly out of Kansas City, yes, but that was it.
Matt:But that was the only way we were going to get to. So we we went to Bend, oregon, which means you fly into Redmond and there's like six flights a day that fly into Redmond. So if you're not on a couple of the early ones, you're going to be in the late ones, and we had stuff that we were trying to be there for early in the day, which means we had to get on a flight early enough in central time to get out to the West Coast by noon ish. You know on. Was that coastal Pacific Pacific time Zone? I think that's right, I think that's right.
Matt:It feels good.
Speaker 3:I have no idea If I'm right.
Matt:So there are a couple hours back, so we had to leave at six in the morning, central time. Three hour flight and then a little, a short connection.
Jo:And then a short, and I wasn't trying to try to say connect in the night, ok, anyway, it's perfect, it's perfect, yeah, so we had the flight out there was actually solid.
Matt:Now our kids were staying with your sister up in Omaha, which wasn't originally the plan, so we ended up having to drive up to Omaha in the middle of the night, sleep for two hours, drive two hours back to Kansas City. We didn't drive to Omaha on the night.
Jo:We drove to Omaha during the day and attended a birthday party. I forgot everything.
Matt:I forgot everything.
Jo:Yeah, just blocked it all out.
Matt:Well, we almost missed the birth. Well, we did kind of miss the birthday party, but fortunately it's, you know, family, so they let us do a little celebrating. But we got an hour away from home and realized we hadn't brought anything to feed our baby. That's our bad dad mean mom.
Jo:Oh, that was one of them.
Matt:I had actually had a different one of those for that this week. Oh really, OK, we'll get there. Ok yeah, we won't we won't spoil that too soon, but that was not a highlight moment. When we left without breast milk for our baby and he hasn't had formulas, we were like he'd probably be fine with formula, like, but we didn't want to get there. Drop him off with your sister and then go. Hope formula goes well, bye, bye, yeah, because it was already gonna be enough of a shock because, so we turned around.
Matt:Yeah, he's never been without one of us, and G's only been without one of us. One night One night, one night, one night, and that's when we had him.
Jo:Yeah.
Matt:So we stayed out there. It was really nice. We stayed up a little late a couple of nights, which we were only there two nights.
Matt:We were only there two nights, but Without your kids you would think you would maybe sleep in a little. We slept in a little bit, but we stayed up so late that we counteracted the sleeping in because we were like we're free, we can do anything we want. And then we acted like we were college kids, so we did not sleep enough and then did a bunch of stuff. That was super fun and then our travel arrangements out where we left at noon, got to the airport, flew, had a long layover, like four hours.
Jo:It went really fast, though, yeah, it was a good layover.
Matt:It was a really good layover. Our friends, let us hang out in the MX lounge.
Jo:Yeah, so that was nice.
Matt:Yeah, that was. That was delightful and a way better way to kill like three hours than just out on the concourse. But longer layover, three hour flight back to Kansas City. Get to Kansas City at midnight and then, yeah, then we drove back to Omaha. So midnight to 2 30 am we're, 2 30 am, we're in Omaha, and then to try and beat traffic through the cities, we slept four hours, four hours in Omaha, got up hit the road and drove back to, you know, northwest Arkansas.
Jo:Yeah.
Matt:So that was got back on Thursday in the afternoon.
Jo:People do not need this much detail.
Matt:Now, this is important, we should get deeper.
Jo:And I just want to know about what? How we continued to decompress. Well, so we had these traffic.
Matt:We didn't sleep quite enough while we were out there. Yeah, then we slept way not enough traveled for a day and a half and then got home and then had to try and recover from the traffic. Had to try and recover from traveling, but with kids who also were a little dysregulated from the sleep mix up. So it was like whoa, no, this is not making any sense.
Jo:No, it's not making sense to me, because the trip felt like decompressing and then what you're talking about to me sounds like utter exhaustion, combined with attempting to take care of children which nothing about that like levels into decompression for me.
Matt:Fair, I felt like we were missing the compression.
Jo:Getting it back on the wheels, though, yeah, but that's not the same as continuing decompression.
Matt:No, no, no it wasn't like just a chill time. No we were trying to like recover a little bit from the travel with kids, so we just didn't we didn't have that get up and go. We still don't know, that's what I'm saying I traveled all weekend. Yeah, it's got lingering effects. That's true too. I guess you went ahead and drove all day Saturday.
Jo:Yeah.
Matt:I left at 6 am.
Jo:Yeah, I got back a little before midnight.
Matt:Oh, my yeah.
Jo:Mm, hmm.
Matt:Yeah, that was a day.
Jo:Like we're so stupid.
Matt:Why do we do this, Anyway, guys. So I don't know if you can tell, but we don't say no to almost anything.
Jo:We won't. We won't miss out. I don't feel like that's true at all. I've said no to so many things this fall.
Matt:That's true. Somehow that is also true, like I feel like we hate missing out, so we, we do.
Jo:But I feel like what has happened, oddly enough, is I have been very like. At the beginning of this year. One of my big goals was I was going to stop over committing myself.
Jo:Yeah because I just say yes to too much and then we have absolutely no time at home and if you can hear our baby in the background, I'm sorry, I just end up exhausted and I don't enjoy the things that I choose to go do. Yeah, and so that was a big goal this year is I'm not going to over commit, and so I picked like four or five things each quarter that I was going to allow myself to go to, like showers, weddings, bridal showers, things like that, and it ended up being that each quarter, like all four or five of those things landed within a 10 day period.
Matt:Yeah, that's not ideal.
Jo:It isn't. It isn't so like I hear what you're saying but it's really exhausting for that week and I've had a really tough time recovering after this because of traveling and all the showers, but now we have a full like four or five weeks of just at home.
Matt:Getting ready for Thanksgiving?
Jo:Yes, like prepping for the holidays. Getting like Q4 for our job is really, really nuts. We have lots of brands that we're working with moving into the last quarter. We have all kinds of content that we're prepping. Jo learns to host is coming back in full force for Christmas.
Matt:And so we're trying to like get our house put together Right, re-put together, put together for the first time in some areas and it's fun stuff, but I think it's gonna end up working out better for us. Oh, I think it's gonna be. Yeah, we've had years where it's been aggressive I'm trying to think it was last year pretty bad, I don't. I have no memory.
Jo:Last year was not too bad, but I was pregnant, I was super pregnant, yeah, yeah.
Matt:I forgot You've been pregnant the last couple of years.
Jo:I was third trimester pregnant, yeah.
Matt:Yeah, so that really throws a wrench in. Ah yeah, in the year before you were-.
Jo:Six months postpartum.
Matt:Yeah, and then the year before that you were-.
Jo:Pregnant.
Matt:Pregnant, but like early pregnant, super sick pregnant.
Jo:Yeah.
Matt:Where, as this last time, you weren't maybe super sick, but you were tired and physically limited.
Jo:Correct. Yeah, I was pregnant for a lot of years. Yeah, honestly.
Matt:I mean two out of three.
Jo:But, like think about it, I've either been not this year. This year I feel like I'm far enough, because he was born in February.
Speaker 3:I'm gonna be 10 months postpartum for.
Jo:Christmas and so, but prior to this year, I have been within six months of having a baby.
Matt:Yep.
Jo:Or pregnant since 2020.
Matt:Yeah, how's that feel.
Jo:Is that right? Yeah, that's right. My brain can't even process that, surely not?
Matt:Yeah, no, that's right.
Jo:Oh man.
Matt:Yeah, how you feeling.
Jo:Tired, disorganized, kind of like in shambles, I feel like and I'm tired of saying that too- yeah, that's probably getting old. Like that's the real sentiment of, like, the last couple of years. I feel like I had a really good, oh my God.
Matt:Running back from. That's the sentiment of the last couple of years, probably.
Jo:I feel like I had a pretty good idea of where I was going, what I wanted to do, who I was, and then I started having kids and it's not even that the kids themselves have uprooted. I mean, yes, having children in ways have really shifted things, but I don't feel like it's how kids are impacting my mindset as much as being spread thin a little bit more, like it's like one more thing, and that one thing was the thing that pushed me kind of over the edge, the straw that broke the camel's back. Yeah.
Matt:Yeah, there's just no spare time.
Jo:No. There's like we could be utilizing every minute that we're free, and I think that's a spare energy too, like my brain just doesn't have much more in it.
Matt:Mm-hmm, and you gotta show up for the kids. That's not really where you wanna skip on the energy or the time For sure for sure.
Jo:Somebody wrote us a really good question this week that I want to discuss at length, and that is thank you to who sent this to us on the Oversharing with Overbies IG.
Matt:You can see it on us there. I forget. We have all kinds of new channels now.
Jo:Yeah and the question is if you could have any five liquids on tap through your fingers on one hand, what would they be?
Matt:Ooh, any five Mm-hmm, let's go. Topochico sparkling water. Oh, wow, okay, I like it, I think specifically like if I'm gonna have a sparkling water which is nice to have on hand. I think, you gotta go there your.
Jo:Topochico stand.
Matt:Just as far as sparkling goes, that's my number one.
Jo:That are liquid death for me.
Matt:Okay, yes, I can see that, but, topochico, just find your bubbles, okay, um, hmm, man, that's a tough question. I wish I'd have prepped a little for this. Whatever the Cosmic Alani is, that's pretty good. We've been drinking way too much of those lately as people trying to recover.
Jo:Cosmic Stardust Alani. I'm shocked you didn't say Rockstar. Are you picking Alani over the Rockstar?
Matt:Yeah, let's just do one energy drink, and I feel better drinking those than the.
Jo:Rockstar oh, you do. Okay, I do love A sugar-free Rockstar, but like, if we're on tap, let's just go. Here we are. Alani stands.
Matt:Yeah, okay, number three let's get a good Reposito tequila. Okay, Yep, I mean we could just go our Stamboy, stamboy, our Stamboy, our house tequila is Cazadoras, if anyone cares, which they don't. I feel like I've got a good balance so far.
Jo:Okay. It's a weird tap but you can definitely mix your Topochico and your tequila.
Matt:Yeah, we've got options here. Like I feel like flat water is just lame.
Jo:Yeah, that's what I was gonna say, like I'm not gonna do flat water.
Matt:Oh, you're not, Okay, well, I mean like we should like, but you can get flat water literally out of the tap.
Jo:Okay, so you're gonna pick something different. You have two left.
Matt:Oh, tricky, tricky, tricky Five. Five of them, yeah, okay. So I've got an energy drink sparkling water, alcohol, champagne, okay, different alcohol. I've got two alcohol taps, but champagne is just the best, just a dry champagne. And then, hmm, hmm thoughts what should I be drinking for my fifth one? I don't care I could go flat water, that could be my cop out, but-.
Jo:Yeah, but I feel like you're more likely to go. Lemonade Diet Coke a Mountain Dew.
Matt:I could do a Diet Coke. Diet Coke could be. Yeah, yeah, that'll be my indulgence.
Jo:Okay, you ready for mine? Love that Water, flat water.
Matt:See, that's just, we'll get back to it. Okay, I'm gonna go rotation, just in case flat water people don't count.
Jo:No flat water's in mine.
Matt:Okay, whatever.
Jo:Undoubtedly like to be able to tap it out of my hand. Absolutely flat water.
Matt:You really do hate moving. That would save me time, for sure.
Jo:And then I'm gonna go liquid death sparkling.
Matt:Okay.
Jo:And I want guys. I'm not a beverage girl.
Matt:Water, sparkling water, creative. Let's shut up Flavored sparkling water.
Jo:I did think about it, but no.
Matt:Topo should go hint of lime.
Jo:I'm gonna go a really good margarita.
Matt:Okay, just fully mixed. I like that Like a fully mixed Between the two of us. We've got like it's a magic tap okay. No, that's totally fine, that counts.
Jo:I want like a really good one. It better be good.
Matt:Oh, I've got one for you. Oh, you do Okay tell me this will be possibly your, if you don't think of it.
Jo:Okay.
Matt:You might replace your flat water with it.
Jo:Oh, I'm not replacing my flat water.
Matt:I just don't think it counts. It's so lame.
Jo:I don't know, I'm panicking, I don't know.
Matt:Try.
Jo:Oh yeah, yep, yeah, okay, an iced chai.
Matt:Yes, for sure.
Jo:I could do an iced chai for sure.
Matt:You don't think of hot beverages.
Jo:I don't drink hot beverages, but no, I don't want it hot, I want it iced. I'm just saying yeah, I don't want it hot, it's in the like yeah.
Matt:It's fine, it's not gonna burn you.
Jo:Okay, iced chai. And then what about, like, I don't know, why is this so hard?
Matt:I don't know.
Jo:I want another, like flat beverage, like apple juice. No.
Matt:No Apple juice.
Jo:Yeah, or like grape juice, sparkling grape juice, that's not flat, they're flat. I do love sparkling grape juice though I mean chai is flat. Yeah, that's true. Okay, flat water liquid death chai Margarita.
Matt:Mm-hmm, ah, you're going to cut off one of your fingers, or what?
Jo:Grape juice. Grape juice Like an absolute.
Matt:Like a child Got it.
Jo:Love that, love that. Oh, no, orange juice, obviously, yeah.
Matt:I mean Okay, not grape juice, orange juice, yeah, I love the combo If we both get to keep it.
Jo:I mean I thought that was a good question. No, I like that question. It's good I spent time thinking about it.
Matt:I just know what you would do. I mean, it's just one of life's deep questions that we need answers to.
Jo:It's hard. I'm not a big beverage girlie Like. I like flat water.
Matt:Totally fair.
Jo:I like a sparkling water every now and again. A handful of energy drinks. Are we getting into emails today?
Matt:Yeah, we probably should look at some emails. It's been a couple weeks, I think, so we've definitely got some.
Jo:All right, let us know, matt, what do we got?
Matt:Somebody drew me in with this. I've just got a fun question Okay, hi guys up top, can I say how much I love you guys and appreciate your authenticity. Your content brings me so much joy and you've quickly become my comfort podcast. I'm a recently engaged bride and my fiance and I've lived together for about a year now. That being said, what are your favorite things you put on your wedding registry? It can be anything.
Jo:Vacuum.
Matt:Vacuum Stick vacuum.
Jo:A nice vacuum. Yeah, we would have registered for the wireless shark. Instead of buying, we bought our stick, dyson with our returns from our wedding registry and I wish we would have gotten a shark instead, because I don't dislike our. Dyson. I just think it's overpriced for one of this. I really want a robot vacuum. We do not own a robot vacuum. I've wanted one for years and I just can't get myself to spend the money, which is crazy.
Matt:We also have a poll street cleaner, yeah that would be a good call, like a little green machine, good call. I do think it's a good opportunity to buy elevated staples that you would not necessarily buy yourself. So like, if you like having nice dishes, you don't have to go crazy nice, I would get something that you're going to use regularly. Don't get a set that just like lives in the cabinet. Buy some nicer dishes, towels.
Jo:You went with towels, especially the older people in your family.
Matt:If you'd have picked the right towels. Yeah, no, I agree.
Jo:I'm agreeing with everything you're saying. I just am not. I feel like I know a lot more than I did when I was registering. I really like fable dishes.
Speaker 3:That's where all of our dishes are from now.
Jo:They're awesome, they're really sturdy and they're beautiful.
Matt:And you can use them.
Jo:You can use them all the time, yes and then they also have glasses that are really gorgeous but are not, like they're, shatter resistant.
Matt:Oh, like that.
Jo:They have a very similar look to our glasses.
Matt:Yeah, and I feel like the older people in your life are like that's what they're looking for.
Jo:Yeah, I agree.
Matt:So it's not really like a surprise kind of fun thing. What's fun. I know a lot of people like register for experiences and stuff.
Jo:Now A towel warmer.
Matt:Towel warmer, that's a nice one. Yeah, we got actually. That's so our go to. When we go to a wedding, typically we buy the gift last minute off the registry because that's just the kind of mess that we are. We buy something that nobody else bought because it's kind of weird.
Jo:No weird.
Matt:No, no, no, no, we're going to get registered for it. Just like a little different Right, but we like to go with something that's a little different that we know people are going to use.
Jo:I always try to find something that I know they were excited about putting on their registry but that people aren't going to think, to get them yeah.
Matt:So towel, warmer is one we've gotten yeah. We got somebody in.
Jo:Espresso Somebody. They had a like entry level power washer. Oh yeah, that was a close friend and we got to know that.
Matt:These are great ideas, by the way.
Jo:Yeah.
Matt:Like if you need a power washer, great to get one that way.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Matt:And hopefully someone in your life is like us and they're like random love that.
Jo:I think weddings are a really good time to register for tools. Yeah, just for like around the house, because that's something that's so like. Having a really good standard tool kit can get you a really long way.
Matt:Yeah, socket set Some screwdrivers, just that kind of stuff.
Jo:Yeah, I agree, I got pots.
Matt:Yes.
Jo:I registered for some really cool like tiered pots and stuff that I used around the house that I love.
Matt:I don't know Trying to think yeah knives. I think those actually came from our returns. I think that's a good set of knives. Again, it depends on what you do Like if you're not a kitchen person like Jo on our registry was pretty much like I like these dishes, and otherwise you got it buddy.
Jo:Yeah, I was.
Matt:Whatever you're looking for. And then I went oh no, too much pressure.
Jo:I can't make a decision.
Matt:We have so much kitchen stuff.
Jo:Yeah, we have years. So Matt and I lived on our own separately before we moved in together and because of that we had two full kitchens worth of stuff Maybe not like the deep dive of whatever, but like two mid 20 people who lived on their own and then we moved those kitchens in together. So we had two blenders, we had two, I don't know. We had a lot of stuff.
Matt:We did have two blenders like of this exact same blender.
Jo:Yeah, we had two or three.
Matt:We didn't have three.
Jo:We had three blenders.
Matt:If somebody, I don't know what, happened we gave one away and then we still had two.
Jo:But when we moved in together we just ended up with a ton of stuff. So we've always had kind of a overstocked kitchen and I've had a hard time separating with some of that stuff, just because it's like, in theory this item is useful, like I can think of all the usefulness that this would provide, but we don't use it, and so for that reason, we probably should get rid of a lot of that stuff.
Matt:Yeah, we should, we should.
Jo:We have gotten rid of some of it especially in the move, we've done really well, just I think we could do even better.
Matt:Yeah, I think we've whittled it down to mostly stuff we used.
Jo:Yeah next email.
Matt:Man. I hope that helped. All right, here's another one. Hey guys, I'm going to listen to a follower of you two since the beginning of 2020. I enjoy your content. You tune your family, create such a sense of comfort in my life. I think that's what people follow us for is just to feel chill.
Jo:You're safe here, yeah yeah, there's not much.
Matt:We can't hurt you through a podcast. That's right, we wouldn't hurt you in real life anyway, but that was a weird sentence that got away from me. I've heard you guys begging for weeks for some not so serious discussion topics. We're good either way, but we appreciate it.
Jo:I'm here to do that, yes, please.
Matt:My sister has won to believe that Helen Keller existed, but in no way, shape or form was she able to accomplish what she said. She accomplished graduating college, writing books, et cetera. So call this a conspiracy theory or just an interesting discussion topic, but the more she talks about it, the more sense she makes to me. I also believe that this is interesting to bring up between YouTube, because it's been said that Matt doesn't have an inner monologue and Jo does. I feel like this is a huge part of this discussion. I'm going to need more information For reference. Helen Keller went blind and deaf at the age of 19 months. How in the world can you teach someone under the age of two to graduate college who cannot read and cannot write? This could be as simple as explaining Bluetooth to Jo, which I can't do, but I truly just wanted to hear your thoughts on it. Thanks for being a safe place to listen and enjoy during my week. You're welcome for that. Here's my thing, ok.
Jo:What's the purpose in the ma like if let's say that the story of Helen Keller is completely made up?
Matt:not that she's made up, but like yeah what's the purpose? We're talking about her. She's parlayed this into being a just like a-.
Jo:So you think that she is not capable of graduating college, but she is a marketing genius.
Matt:But maybe it's not her, maybe it's someone in her.
Jo:Right, yeah. So what's the purpose?
Matt:I don't know, they're getting those sweet, sweet Helen Keller dollars. I don't know. Ok, I want to go back to it.
Jo:What's the purpose? So far, you're not naming a damn thing.
Matt:I don't know People like to be talked about.
Jo:Right, but that.
Matt:Helen Keller fame.
Jo:If she liked to be talked about and she was intelligent enough to put together this plan.
Matt:Again, I'm thinking maybe it's not her, maybe it's her entourage.
Jo:But why does her entourage want her to be talked about?
Matt:Well, because they don't have anything interesting. But Helen does Helen's interesting and they're getting a little bit of that shine.
Jo:Here's the thing for me, as somebody who has been a caregiver from the time I was a kid. Just on a serious note.
Matt:You're not using it to be famous.
Jo:No, it's not that. It's not that, because I make videos with my mom, and they do well, like you know, and so it would feel very disingenuous to be like I have never shared about, you know. Anyway, no, what I'm saying is like that's so much work to put in for like I just I don't know.
Matt:Again. She's known forever.
Jo:No.
Matt:Some people legacy is really important.
Jo:Yeah, and I think that that was a legacy earned.
Matt:Legacy earned. Okay, yeah, I mean, I don't know how much we want to shit talk. Helen Keller on here Feels bold. No, I believe it, I'd need some research on the topic before I make any statements, but I can see it either way. Now, internal monologue wise, I'm assuming it's probably pretty similar to me, you think she?
Jo:doesn't hear, she doesn't see and she doesn't have an internal monologue.
Matt:I think you can have an internal monologue, Not in the way that people. How would you have a monologue? I guess, Like you don't have a voice, you don't know any voices.
Jo:But she didn't go deaf until she was 20 months.
Matt:You think, I don't think you have a voice, Like I don't think you would have an auditory filter to run your thoughts through you learn most?
Jo:Okay, I mean a lot We'd have to research very deeply. Yes, I mean, this is some real science stuff that we don't know anything about that we're talking about.
Matt:I would actually agree if you're saying that you don't think she has an internal monologue, because I would think that you don't have a very developed sense of language for you to run all your thoughts through.
Jo:Yeah, that makes sense.
Matt:And so you would run it through, but don't you have your own kind of language. Probably, I don't know, I don't know what you do, because she was also blind.
Jo:So but she could read braille.
Matt:Sure, if you believe you know Big Helen Keller.
Jo:Oh my God, I don't know what to.
Matt:Again, I don't know how far we want to go on this before we get canceled or the Helen Keller Foundation comes after our ass. Is that a thing? Yeah, I don't know what you do. Again, it's a pretty, pretty wild circumstance to be in.
Jo:I like where we landed. It's why we're so well known. We're where we landed. Okay and abort. Let's get into Bad Dad, mean Mom.
Matt:Oh, I did. Okay, so you know what did we say earlier.
Jo:We'll start with my Bad Dad, Mean Mom, which is mean mom and mean mom left the cooler with all of the frozen breast milk in the garage on the road trip. So we got an hour into our drive and we had to pivot and turn back around and make a six hour drive an eight hour drive because mom left the milk.
Matt:Yeah.
Jo:And then we got the last 15 minutes, which was probably perfect for like throwing our two year old into the mix.
Matt:It's like, oh, have 15 minutes of birthday time and then we're going to chill and try and get settled.
Jo:But what's yours?
Matt:So it's been the first week we've been home. That it's not been. That it's, you know, dipped down into like the fifties at night. I realized yesterday I had not set the heat up yet. So the air conditioning on the other side of the house would not run until it got down to 60 degrees, which is a little crisp for your kids.
Jo:You've not told me this.
Matt:Well, I didn't. I was saving it for the podcast. I think that's the best place to air out all the dumb things I do.
Jo:Wait, when did you discover this?
Matt:yesterday it okay, it only got down to 63. So the heat didn't kick on, but yes, and now at least maintains like 67 over there because during the day it doesn't really run. We're at like the perfect temperature right now, where your air conditioning is just kind of is in waiting in the wings, doesn't really cool or heat, but at night it does need to give you a little heat boost.
Jo:You've been freezing out our children.
Matt:I mean not since yesterday.
Jo:You didn't tell me that They've acted fine.
Matt:They were fine, they did totally fine with it.
Jo:We have our in warm sleep sex. So yeah it's probably fine.
Matt:And she's got a blanket she likes to sleep with. She runs hot. They both run hot.
Jo:Well, I'm glad that's fixed now.
Matt:Yeah, yeah.
Jo:So I mean that's not ridiculous?
Matt:No, that's. I thought it was perfect for this. Yeah yeah, nobody was going to freeze to death. It is only like 55 degrees at night.
Jo:Right, right, huh, okay, greg's reading the week.
Speaker 3:Greg.
Jo:I mean, nobody has messaged us with an intro for Greg's reads of the week. I'm waiting. I know one of these days is going to happen, all right.
Matt:Greg's reads of the week is Greg's, your dad.
Jo:Oh yeah.
Speaker 3:My father-in-law.
Matt:Just, we always forget to intro this for people who haven't listened to it before. He sends us a lot of articles. Maybe people in your life send you a lot of articles. We don't always read them. You read most of them.
Jo:I read most of them.
Matt:I don't read very many of them at all, but we rate them on our podcast. How much the title gives us anxiety? One to five.
Jo:Yep, All right Seat. Physical decline isn't inevitable. This type of exercise can change the trajectory of aging. One expert says.
Matt:None.
Jo:It doesn't get me anxiety either. It actually makes me feel thrilled. Yeah, I'm like, okay, let's do it.
Matt:Yeah, I feel like my body hasn't quit on me yet, so I could do something about it.
Jo:I love it when the article is accompanied with a text.
Matt:Okay.
Jo:I'm like four year olds cranky reaction after school is all of us and dad said this kid would fit right into this family.
Matt:I mean no anxiety. Yeah me either. I'm guessing it's just a short video of.
Jo:I didn't watch it.
Matt:Is the kid freaking out probably?
Jo:Probably, I don't know.
Matt:Or just like probably a ton of attitude.
Jo:I have not like. We've been traveling nonstop. I've barely texted my best friend back, let alone watch.
Matt:We're behind on the reeds. We both are Normally. Someone has read most of them.
Jo:All right. So Harvard trained researcher the most successful kids are healthy strivers.
Matt:Strivers Cool Go blues. Like a one, one out of five maybe oh, really okay, like a three.
Jo:The three oh okay, that's pretty solid. Yeah, I I feel like this is definitely going that direction of.
Matt:Don't screw up your kids.
Jo:Yeah, don't screw up your kids. And also the direction of toxic achievement culture. Okay, okay you know, sure and, and that gives me the most anxiety.
Matt:Yeah, I mean I think anything I've seen on that is mainly like reward your kids Efforts right and those kids usually do the best then you can make them strivers. Yeah, I'm guessing that's what that's about, probably, you know, make them appreciate working at things.
Jo:Mm-hmm.
Matt:Not necessarily outcomes.
Jo:Yeah, okay, last three of the week. It's not just fight or flight, other ways your body responds to stress.
Matt:Interesting, I don't know, like a two out of five.
Jo:It doesn't necessarily give me anxiety for sure, no anxiety on that one for me.
Matt:Okay, okay.
Jo:I'm kind of excited to hit voicemails today. I've been rushing through to get to voice messages, because we had quite a few of them and I want to see how many we can hit, okay, so, um, let's see Voice we got a lot of emails too, so we oh, we can hit. Oh my gosh, you guys. I'm so sorry.
Matt:Well, one, I'm just gonna read it right now. Somebody is backing me up on using the same hair tie for months and months now my next extreme case of years. But yeah, somebody said that we reminded them to buy new hair ties and they finally were a new one. But they use the same one for months and months and months. So hers isn't even a special kind, she just runs them back.
Jo:Okay, and also everybody that listens to the podcast told me that we've talked about you only using one hair tie before and that I should have known that, and I thought, when we talked about it on the podcast, the way I understood it is, I thought you used one type of hair tie. Oh, okay, I wasn't understanding it as you had-.
Matt:You weren't comprehending. I had a single hair tie. Singular unit yeah, no, I do.
Jo:I knew that you had a specific kind and brand that you liked.
Matt:I didn't realize I wish I knew what kind and brand it was.
Jo:Yeah, I wasn't understanding the singular unit part. And now I do. But also somebody DM'd me and we're like oh my gosh, if he read anything about like germs-.
Matt:Did my scalp gonna fall off?
Jo:No, like germs and the nasty that's getting caught up in that hair tie and reusing it and all this stuff.
Matt:It's gross, but I think I'm okay.
Jo:I just don't think we're those people.
Matt:No, it gets washed.
Jo:sometimes People all the time are like can you imagine the disgusting stuff that you're touching, and you're touching this and that, and I just have a hard time getting worked up about that.
Matt:I mean, yes, I can imagine it, and no, I'm not gonna probably do much about it, so I've just decided to accept it.
Jo:We clean our home, yeah, but we just have never been super germaphobe people.
Matt:Yeah, we have two kids and two pets and I've just accepted that I'm gonna touch a lot of gross things the rest of my life.
Jo:Yeah, probably All right Voice nails. Hi, Jo and Matt.
Speaker 3:I'm calling in from North Carolina. I've been listening to the podcast for a while, been getting more into your Christianity episodes and like how they don't align with your morals and all that, and I was just kind of curious how you went about telling your family that that doesn't align with your morals and you don't believe that anymore, and how they took it. Because I'm in the same boat. Me and my boyfriend grew up in Christian households and all of our family believes in the Christianity and faith and church and all that. And we now have an almost one year old and I was just curious how you went about telling them and how they took it, because I worry about my daughter and like she going over there and learning something from them but then coming home and learning something completely different. So yeah, I was just wondering how you went about telling them that you don't believe in that, how they took it, because I know my mom is just gonna have a conniption. All right, thanks Bye.
Jo:I didn't have to tell my family.
Matt:Yeah, I know.
Jo:I didn't grow up in a really heavily faith-based home. I grew up going to church. I was confirmed in eighth grade, but it was more of a community thing than it was a belief system thing. I think my dad would still consider himself a Christian. I don't know, though, and then my mom. I'm just like learning about all kinds of religions and she's definitely spiritual.
Jo:I never really had to come.
Jo:The thing in my family and this is how I want to do it for our kids too is there's no pressure to believe something specific.
Jo:My parents always encouraged me to find what resonated with me and learn from all the different people I meet and interact with, and so I hope to do the same for my kids, that if they go over to a friend's house and they learn all about the Christian faith, that's great. I think that's fantastic and I hope they do the same as they interact and meet people of all kinds of different backgrounds and face and they learn about them and they can find what resonates with them, whether it aligns with what our kids, what Matt and I believe or not. We're not. At least I think we're on the same page on this. But I don't think Matt or I feel a really heavy need to teach our kids to view the world the same way we do. We instead want to give our children the tools to cope and regulate and feel confident walking into the world and finding what suits them and what feels best to them and their journey Sure.
Matt:Yeah, I come from a pretty non-confrontational family so I haven't really had a big discussion or laying down what I believe or don't believe in this case, so I don't know that I can give great advice on that. I think the best thing. So, again, what you've said is also very we're okay with other people teaching our kids about Christianity. The goal is that we have an open enough dialogue with our kids that, if they like, they will come to us and they will talk to us about it and we'll explain what we believe and we'll explain the other people believe differently, and that it's really up to them to break it down and what speaks to them at the time and be open about being fluid on that over time. If anything stops aligning with what they feel, they're welcome to change it. But we've never been like, oh well, people can't take them to church or our family can't, that's. We're actually really open to that.
Jo:I think as long as it's with people we know and trust.
Matt:Yes, yeah, that's, I guess true.
Jo:Yeah, I want our kids to have all kinds of different experiences.
Matt:Yeah, and they're going to be surrounded by that just in their environment. So I think it's good for them to know and be exposed to it, so that they're not caught off guard.
Speaker 3:For sure.
Matt:In whatever random social experiences they're going to have. But I guess that's a really good point too is that we do trust the people we're around that we would put them in this environment with, and that's maybe the discussion to have with your family is hey, this is where I'm at, this is what we want to do with our kids. We're still open to them being around and being educated on this, but we'd like for it to be a discussion that our kid has and works with us.
Jo:I trust very deeply that the people that come to mind that I know I would be sending my child into those environments. In would never speak ill of Matt and I and our beliefs, or disrespect or undermine the things that we feel and believe, and that they would express it the same way that we have, kind of stating like you know, everybody has different experiences and different beliefs and these are ours.
Jo:They wouldn't be saying it as your mom and dad are wrong Like, save yourself and come over here, because that's the important thing to me is that they're not being talked to in that manner.
Matt:Yes, yeah. That they're not told that yeah, for sure so again, I, guess the answer is we're privileged and we have a pretty good little community that we can deal with that with but try and work that out, especially with family.
Jo:Next voicemail.
Speaker 3:Hi Jo and Matt. I'm calling in from North Carolina. Again, this is a completely different question than the one I just sent in. I recently not recently in 2020 I got diagnosed with adult ADHD and I know Matt is going through the same thing. So I was just wondering what he went through to get diagnosed for the ADHD slash autism, Because I'm kind of thinking the same thing, but I don't know how to go about getting that kind of diagnosis versus what I went through for the ADHD one, Because I feel like when I got diagnosed with the ADHD, they didn't really go into much detail about it. They were just like okay, yeah, you have it, here's some medications. So I'm just curious on how he takes it and what he went through for that.
Matt:Thanks, Welcome back. Can I start? Sure, what do I do?
Jo:I want to know, like at the very beginning of this, because Matt tends to be very dismissive. It's not the right word, but Cavalier. Yeah, here's the thing ADHD. There are medications and things in order to cope with symptoms of ADHD.
Matt:Interventions.
Jo:Interventions. Being on the spectrum, it's not something wrong, it's not.
Matt:You're not going to be medicated for that Right.
Jo:It's not something being wrong, it's not something that you and so being diagnosed is really I don't know. At least that was the experience with what your medical team told you yeah.
Matt:Again, if you've already been diagnosed with ADHD, that's the thing that can be medicated, and so you've kind of jumped through that hoop. I have both a psychiatrist and a psychologist therapist Correct, my therapist talks much more about all sides of things and just it's also not labeled a whole lot, because there's not much use in labeling it in my opinion, because it really is just how you are. So if you are on the spectrum somewhere, it's more about getting someone to talk to that understands that and can work with you on building skills or opening your perspectives a little bit.
Matt:And so the diagnosis process. You've kind of done the challenging part if you've been medicated for ADHD. In my opinion Now there is some difficulty probably in finding a therapist that you can talk to that really does a good job, and so possibly if you have doctors or friends that have good experiences, they can maybe recommend somebody. That's always been our best bet is finding one person that does a good job and then saying, hey, do you know anyone else that we can talk to?
Jo:I agree, all right.
Speaker 4:Hey guys, my name is Hallie. I'm from South Carolina. First of all, before I forget, I love following your house renovations and I'm a ceramics artist. So if you want any custom work, I would see your house and think my stuff will look great in there. So, jo, hit me up on Instagram. Um, my Instagram is Hallie underscore creates. I love your podcast as, listening to the latest episode and I think the way you guys talk about your morals and religion was just great, because I think a lot of people in our generations don't want to, or have the ability to, sit there and have a discussion and a conversation about those types of things. They get defensive automatically and don't want to have a discussion. I think it's so valuable to have those discussions because a lot of things you said made me look at it differently, in a good way, and I just wish more people could have those conversations and I want to be your friends and wish I could sit down and have the conversation with you for hours.
Jo:I love that I love that.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I know, I know Everybody go check out her stuff.
Jo:I'm going to go check out her stuff.
Matt:I need some ceramics for the house, so I'm all in on learning about that, that is, yeah, it is hard because people are really defensive, you know, naturally so.
Jo:Yeah, it's a learning curve. I don't know.
Matt:And it's probably easier when we discuss it with each other, where we know we're in a safe environment.
Jo:Well, and we believe the same thing.
Matt:Yeah.
Jo:I think that that's where it gets heated is trying Well, and I think you and I are also very okay with other people, not, we are typically the minority.
Matt:Oh, without it out In the rooms that we sit in? 100%.
Jo:And we're okay with that.
Matt:Yeah, yeah, the biggest part is respect and respecting other people, even if you disagree with them, even if you don't like what they believe, trying to respect them as a person and not conflating their beliefs with their humanity, I guess.
Jo:Right. So and that's we discussed that last week that that happens a lot, and it's.
Matt:It's a natural instinct, I think.
Jo:This is my last voicemail of the day, but it's only eight seconds, so I'm wondering if it's not really voicemail or it's impressive or it's really impressively fast. Let's listen to it together.
Speaker 4:Hi, my question is for Jo and I was wondering if your name was short for anything.
Matt:Crushed it.
Jo:Crushed it. That's the shortest voicemail we've got. got Bravo. Yeah, I really didn't think. I thought that that was just going to be like sound, I don't know why I thought it was going to be somebody bailing on a question.
Matt:Like as soon as I heard a voice, I was like, oh, they screwed up their question, they're about to bail. And then they just bailed.
Jo:My name is short for something. My name is short for Jordan, so Jordan Johnson. They both start with JO. I never went by Jo. I was Jordan all the way through high school, and then I graduated from high school and I made this decision that I was going to change my name, and so, as I filled out well, I shouldn't even say it like that I graduated from high school, my name was Jordan that entire summer and then, as I was filling out my application to go through sorority recruitment, I had this identity crisis and I said you know what? I'm going to fill all of this out with Jo instead of Jordan, and I hit recruitment and I was Jo from here on out.
Jo:So, my entire adult life I have gone by Jo and it's like a great tell on whether people have known me my entire life or if they just know me in my adult life Like if somebody calls me Jordan. Typically that means that they've known me.
Matt:Yeah, that's a pre-2011 person. So, yeah, yeah, it'd be like if I went by Matthew and then pivoted to Matt, but not really.
Jo:I feel like that's different.
Matt:Really why.
Jo:Yeah, because I don't know. Matt and Matthew are just not that different. Do you know what I mean?
Matt:Fair, fair, like it would be different. I kind of know what you mean and I'm kind of like no, this is dumb, it shouldn't be different. I'm not saying it should be different.
Jo:Like I hear what you're saying.
Matt:Matt and Matthew don't feel like the same person could go by both of those, jo and Jordan have much more.
Jo:If somebody from high school is like Matthew, nobody would be like what did they just call you?
Matt:That's fair, do you?
Jo:know what I mean. Like that's what I mean.
Matt:We assume that's what Matt was short for.
Jo:Right, exactly.
Matt:Yeah, Jo could be short for a lot of things.
Jo:Right, and tons of people call me Josephine. Caroline calls me Joseph. A lot of people have asked me if my name is Joseph and I'm like no, no, but I like that people call me Josephine and Joseph and Jo.
Matt:Yeah.
Jo:They call me all kinds of stuff.
Matt:Yeah, I don't mind. And Joseph Bell.
Jo:Yeah.
Matt:No, I don't.
Jo:One last email.
Matt:Yeah, sure I got tricked into this one, but we should read it anyway, okay.
Speaker 3:What do you mean? You got tricked into it. Another light question ahead of your way.
Matt:See, I read that as the first line. I thought they were serious. It's not light. Brace yourselves. I remember a few episodes ago you mentioned a strained relationship with a family member after your wedding. I wondered your opinion on navigating boundaries around a strained relationship with a close family member when other family members that you are close to and genuinely love aren't understanding of your opinion on why this other person is toxic and draining. We've expressed that they are free and welcome to remain close with this person, but that we don't feel the desire to. Sometimes we're made to feel guilty and are put into awkward positions where we have to be around this person. Thanks for your time and I love the podcast.
Jo:Hot response You're not made to feel guilty. Yeah, other people don't make you feel things. Your feelings are your feelings and they're independent from other people's actions. They can be in result of other people's actions, but only you allow yourself to feel guilty. So that's something you're definitely needing to work through if you're feeling guilt based on other people's baiting statements.
Matt:Yeah.
Jo:Does that make sense?
Matt:Yeah, totally fair. Yeah, they can't make you feel something, but they can definitely try and succeed.
Jo:Yes.
Matt:Which sucks that, just sucks that. People are putting that on you.
Jo:And I'm not great at that, don't get me wrong. I have a lot of problems, you feel guilty about all kinds of things. I feel guilty about all kinds of things, but I work really hard to separate that from the person because I will have somebody say something to me that makes me feel really guilty and it's, removing it and realizing it's really not that person's fault. That is an issue that I have that I need to work through.
Matt:Yeah. Yeah, it's kind of just trying to internalize and really resolve that what you're doing is okay and that other people can accept it or not accept it, but that that shouldn't impact how you're dealing with it and that you're doing a good job holding your boundaries which is hard to do and people don't appreciate it, but it is good for you.
Jo:It's what I hear. In my 30s I'm really learning, or I'm realizing how many of my problems are just me wishing other people agreed with me.
Matt:Yeah.
Jo:Like they're not real problems. I'm making it a problem because somebody disagrees with me and I'm not sure enough of myself to just be like well, you don't agree and it is what it is.
Matt:Yeah.
Jo:I'm spending a lot of time trying to convince them or have them be quote unquote on my side, and you just don't need anybody on your side in that way, and a lot of times it doesn't work.
Matt:No. And it's never going to work and a lot of times, because it's work that somebody else has to do, and if they're not willing to do it, you can't change that. There's nothing you can do that makes somebody.
Jo:Well, and how often do you feel like people say they're on your side, to your face and then, say they're on their side, to their face, because they just want to save face.
Matt:Yeah, or just conflict averse.
Jo:Right, and it's just, it's irrelevant.
Matt:Yeah.
Jo:It's irrelevant. Your stuff is your stuff. Keep yourself in your box and don't allow other people to tell you how you should feel or what's right for you, and don't feel guilty for the ways that you feel and the actions that you choose based on those feelings.
Matt:Yeah, yeah, yeah. Our big thing was just somebody was mad. We didn't invite them to our wedding.
Jo:Yeah.
Matt:And they took it really personally and we're like just kind of annoying about it and we're like this is why this is really reinforcing what we were like it's not really about you.
Jo:It makes me sad that that individual has to deal with those feelings, and my actions have contributed to those feelings, but it's not, it doesn't really have anything to do with me that same thing. I'm not going to make that my job. I can't make that my job. No Other beautiful thing about motherhood and 30s is I don't have the time, I don't have the capacity, and other people are going to have to work through their own shit and they might never do it. They may never do it.
Matt:I think that you forever.
Jo:That and that's hard.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Jo:We're going through some of that right now and it's really, really hard, especially when Matt and I are fun loving like we're just along for the ride.
Matt:We really do try to try to get along with most people.
Jo:We're not really hard and fast like my way or the highway kind of people, but we also won't be manipulated into changing. Yeah.
Matt:Yeah, and as we get older and as we have kids and we have more things that we need to hold boundaries around, because that's kind of the thing too is like in your early 20s, what do you hold in the boundary around?
Speaker 3:right that much.
Matt:You're usually flexible. You're usually at least we were we didn't have a lot of things. We needed to be like hey this is how it is and we probably should have.
Jo:That's exactly what I was about to say is.
Jo:I think that's the unfair, if you're listening to this and you're single or you don't have kids or you're in your and you don't have a ton of quote unquote responsibilities. Compared to other people, you're valuable too and you deserve those boundaries just as much as people with kids and people that are married and people that own homes and whatever it is. You deserve your space, like you don't, I don't know. I think that there's this really toxic thing that, like, I chose to have kids and you don't have kids, so you need to be flexible to me because my schedule is harder and that's crap. Because I made the choice to have children, you didn't, so that you had the flexibility, and I don't get to take advantage of that just because I have kids and I don't get to make you feel guilty for that just because I have kids.
Matt:At the very least, it should be appreciated.
Jo:Yeah.
Matt:Like you can say hey, I still have boundaries. I'm being flexible, but here's where I stand, and that's, yeah, it's a really good point, because we didn't do that for a long time no. And now that we have things, now that we are less and less flexible, sometimes it causes issues.
Jo:Yeah, yeah, people don't really understand just kind of doing whatever they needed us to do. Yeah, and I think that if you can start working on that as early as possible and really upholding the boundaries and valuing what you independently and individually need, whether you think other people are going to think it's worthwhile or not, do it.
Matt:Yeah.
Jo:Practice, get good at that, because it is going to serve you really well, regardless of what path you go down.
Matt:Yeah, you'll be a lot happier with your outcomes in terms of them being what you're expecting.
Jo:Protect your peace, protect your peace, protect your peace. Yeah, you won't be upset, or?
Matt:surprised by as many things, as long as you keep it all reined in.
Jo:Yeah, well, on that note, follow us on Spotify, apple Podcast, YouTube, all the above. Yeah, give us a rating if you haven't already. Leave us a voicemail. We love voicemails.
Matt:Emails.
Jo:If you don't want to talk, yeah, pop an email over DM, on Oversharing with the Overbees, and we love you guys and we'll talk soon.
Speaker 3:Bye.