If you've got a voicemail or want our (likely unqualified) advice on something, hit us up at the Speakpipe link below!
http://www.speakpipe.com/oversharingwiththeoverbys
If you'd like to email us you can reach the pod at oversharing@jojohnsonoverby.com!
CONNECT:
TikTok: @jojohnsonoverby / @matt.overby
Instagram: @jojohnsonoverby / @matt.overby
Website: https://jojohnsonoverby.com/
Watch the Podcast: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL29Si0ylWz2qj5t6hYHSCxYkvZCDGejGq
If you've got a voicemail or want our (likely unqualified) advice on something, hit us up at the Speakpipe link below!
http://www.speakpipe.com/oversharingwiththeoverbys
If you'd like to email us you can reach the pod at oversharing@jojohnsonoverby.com!
CONNECT:
TikTok: @jojohnsonoverby / @matt.overby
Instagram: @jojohnsonoverby / @matt.overby
Website: https://jojohnsonoverby.com/
Watch the Podcast: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL29Si0ylWz2qj5t6hYHSCxYkvZCDGejGq
Welcome to Oversharing with Overvies. I'm Joe.
Speaker 2:And I'm Matt.
Speaker 1:And each week you can tune in to hear us respond to your voice mails. Go in-depth on our lives as content creators and hopefully we'll be feeling even better than we found you.
Speaker 2:With that being said, let's get to Oversharing.
Speaker 1:Good morning. Good morning, Do you think people listen in the mornings primarily?
Speaker 2:I think people listen when they drive. Okay, so they're occupied.
Speaker 1:Okay, yeah, do you think that that is most often in the morning?
Speaker 2:Probably or the evening.
Speaker 1:Okay.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's when people drive to work.
Speaker 1:You listen all day. Yeah, matt's a podcast boy, although I feel like you haven't been listening to as many podcasts lately.
Speaker 2:I've been off my grind.
Speaker 1:You have been. Matt has this new thing he's been doing the last couple months, at least it feels new to me. Maybe you've been doing it for a while and I'm just catching on, but you're watching TV on your phone all the time I shouldn't say watching, because rarely are you anywhere near the phone. Yeah, but you are listening to television on your phone at all times.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Like I will watch you building a tower playing with our child no, like the big TV isn't on at all and but you have your AirPods in. But then over on the couch, like 10 feet away from you, is some like heist show playing and you're just listening to it. That sounds miserable to me.
Speaker 2:I mostly do humorous shows. Okay, well, it sounds like Much like like Veep, but are you actually paying? Well, I'm not watching it, I guess.
Speaker 1:Right. Are you paying attention to it? Because you are. When I say he's engaging with our child, I don't mean that he is like silently, like you are talking through how to build things with her and you're creating animals and teaching her how to add more integrity to her tower and listening to a show.
Speaker 2:And I have people insulting each other on Veep.
Speaker 1:Yeah, for years.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I mean, it's not a way to consume a show that you're really trying to get a lot of like detail out of.
Speaker 1:But it just sounds painful to me.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah. I'd only recommend it on like not super narrative driven shows.
Speaker 1:No, I don't recommend it to anybody.
Speaker 2:No, it's not good it's. It can't be healthy for your brain.
Speaker 1:No, yeah, want to know what's been really bad for my brain. What's?
Speaker 2:been bad for your brain.
Speaker 1:That TikTok has the two times function now. Oh yeah, you've been doing that a lot. Oh man, they're trying to wreck my attention span and it's working. Yeah, actually, you know what's happening.
Speaker 2:You're watching more long content, though I feel like you used to. If it was longer than about 45 seconds, you were like it's really interesting, but I'm done.
Speaker 1:Well, I feel like I'm taking in less content period, like I am just not scrolling. I'm over it.
Speaker 2:Oh, why is that?
Speaker 1:I feel like I'm going through maybe just a life slump.
Speaker 2:A life slump.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and I think I have been Anybody listening. It's like Joe, yeah, we get it.
Speaker 2:You're going through it, we get it. You're depressed? Yeah Cool, keep podcasting through it.
Speaker 1:I don't know, it just doesn't. I've been trying really hard to only continue to participate in things that feel like they lift me up and I have not felt that way about much content recently Got it. I feel like a lot of the things getting pushed out on my For you page are very consumer driven or book driven, which I'm already reading and I discuss the negative impacts of your reading.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I was just joking.
Speaker 1:And I feel like the content that I really enjoy engaging with. It's like I have a handful of people and I seek out their content Sure, so I'm still watching that. Like I have my handful of people that I like seek out what they're posting and I watch it and I still enjoy that and I still think that's great. So I don't think my negativity is with the format itself. I think it has a lot to do with TikTok shop becoming a thing and so much of what's getting pushed into the algorithm is eligible for commission content.
Speaker 2:Got it, it's, yeah, it's, to drive direct sales.
Speaker 1:Which has kind of made me not want to post about things I like anymore. Yeah, because I'm like people, you don't need anything.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:You know yeah.
Speaker 2:There's a difference between needing and wanting.
Speaker 1:I'm wearing my book club sweatshirt right now. It restocked this week and I love my collection with Riff Raff and I want to encourage you guys that if you want it, to go shop it. But I don't want people to feel like they need a sweatshirt. Yeah. Yeah If you're looking for a sweatshirt, right If you're in the market If you're in the market and the holidays are coming up.
Speaker 2:Yeah, they are.
Speaker 1:I don't know, just my brain's all over the place. Yeah, how are the holidays? Matt, fill us in Thanksgiving.
Speaker 2:Holidays. So far We've done Thanksgiving, we did Halloween. Is that considered one of the holidays?
Speaker 1:In our house.
Speaker 2:It might as well be, it's the holiday season.
Speaker 1:Thanks Mary, thanks ween.
Speaker 2:Thanks ween. Wow, that's. That's going to stick for sure. Definitely going to keep using. Thanks ween Mary, thanks ween. Halloween was good. Thanksgiving is over, so that's yeah that's, that's good. Yeah, we had travel, everybody got sick. We were a little bit sick before, and then everybody for sure got sick while we were there.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:We flew on Thanksgiving, the actual day, so we did Thanksgiving dinner the day before.
Speaker 1:So, which was really good. The food was phenomenal, it was good. Matt's aunt man Woman can do it all in the kitchen. She does it all. I don't know how she pulled it off, but she did. She's magnificent, yeah, we crowdsourced some dishes.
Speaker 2:Yeah, everybody had a little something.
Speaker 1:But she did a lot. She did a lot, the majority, and then my uncle did the turkey.
Speaker 2:Yeah so.
Speaker 1:What is it with the idea that like men do meat?
Speaker 2:I don't know. I don't know, just an attraction to fire. You think I have no idea, it's just, it is, it is tradition.
Speaker 1:I've just always thought that was really interesting.
Speaker 2:Yeah, oh men, men are all about meat.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, tell me more.
Speaker 2:Man. Yeah, that man meat is where my brain went. That's not great. I don't know. I don't know what the association is, but it's a tale as old as time.
Speaker 1:Guys, matt looks so good. He washed his hair yesterday, so his hair looks fabulous, and he's in this new sweatshirt that he's been wearing. That is like a half zip up the side. It looks so good on you.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I've had it for about a week and I think I've worn it five days, so your curls are curling.
Speaker 1:It really needs to get washed, like you are. Yeah, yeah, you're giving over here.
Speaker 2:It's part of my, my entire like wardrobe read rehabilitation rehab.
Speaker 1:Maybe we'll work on that tonight.
Speaker 2:Maybe, maybe, maybe we'll get there.
Speaker 1:I'm taking it from Matt's reaction that we are in fact not going to get there.
Speaker 2:No, we can. We can maybe get there.
Speaker 1:Okay, I want to know something.
Speaker 2:Okay.
Speaker 1:What are some traditions that you're wanting to establish for the kids Like? Have you thought about that much?
Speaker 2:No, I haven't.
Speaker 1:Do you think it's important? Probably.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I think there's things that it's nice to rely on that you can look forward to every year. I don't. I don't have great ideas on it.
Speaker 1:Do you have any?
Speaker 2:I didn't come from a big tradition family. Our main tradition was Thanksgiving and it would every other year. It'd be at my parents' place or my mom's sisters.
Speaker 1:But beyond that, like what were the like were there things that you could look forward to at Thanksgiving that you did? Food Okay?
Speaker 2:That was it. A specific dish, not really. I mean like the staples like turkey potatoes.
Speaker 1:Tradition in my family. We can rely on Thanksgiving happening every year in America.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and we get together with family.
Speaker 1:And what do you do with your family? We eat turkey.
Speaker 2:I mean it's out there. It's a little bit different, but yeah, that's, that was as far as tradition went for us.
Speaker 1:So we, ours, went a lot deeper. Yeah, much, I feel like and I Most people do.
Speaker 1:Well, and I don't feel like, as a familial unit, we're doing a good job of necessarily both being on board establishing those traditions, and so that's something I want to work on because, like, growing up for me, well, part of it is, I grew up and it was our entire extended family, like everybody participated within the traditions that we had. Do you know what I mean? Yeah, and then your family does not practice traditions the way we did, and so now we're our own familial unit and I feel like we don't participate in what I did growing up because, like, the schedule of all of it doesn't work anymore and so it's just us and we're not. Like. I had this realization of like we have to decide what they are and make it happen. Yeah, we are the grownups, and I don't want my kids to become adults and be like where were our grownups growing up? You know they were too busy begging their grownups to be grownups and their grownups to be grownups and so on and so forth for generations. How often do you have to?
Speaker 2:remind yourself that you're the adult.
Speaker 1:Not very often.
Speaker 2:No, no Okay.
Speaker 1:I think if there's one thing in our household that I am constantly reminded of, it is that I am the grownup.
Speaker 2:Oh, okay, I was curious, just every now and then. Yeah, yeah. I feel like I'm walking into a trap now that you've said that.
Speaker 1:Oh, no, no, no, not at all, not at all.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah, we're grownups.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:I don't think that goes away.
Speaker 1:No, I don't. I don't think what you're talking about goes away, but I think also, since you've been at home with the kids, I think that that takes away like a little bit of your like grownup reminder.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah, you know, like when you were going into a job. I don't go to my big boy job.
Speaker 1:Right, people were reporting to you and like you know, like you had things going on.
Speaker 2:True, yeah, and projects beyond, like getting your kids breakfast.
Speaker 1:Right, you hang out with the kids all day and you're like I guess I'm a kid too.
Speaker 2:We just eating pancakes today, all right.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Let's go squad.
Speaker 1:Right.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah so.
Speaker 1:That's interesting.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:That you said that, because I don't think I have to think about it that often, but I know what you mean. Mm-hmm, it's not that I feel self serious and like I am an adult.
Speaker 2:No, I don't feel that way.
Speaker 1:No, I didn't feel that way much before. Yeah.
Speaker 2:But definitely don't now.
Speaker 1:You had more things like centering you, though.
Speaker 2:Sure yeah, if anything. I just had a more strict schedule.
Speaker 1:Yeah, well, I just what I'm getting at with the grownup thing. I want to establish traditions, so I'm going to tell everybody what I did growing up and then, while I'm doing that, I want you to think about I don't know. I would go as simple as how do you want our kids to feel like? And sure, like what do we want, whether it's the tradition we're creating or not? Like what do you want it to include? Okay, does that make sense? Like kind?
Speaker 2:of.
Speaker 1:Okay, I'll explain. But growing up for me, uh, we went to Nebraska for Thanksgiving every year to my extended family's farm. So, as we've said before, both Matt and I, uh, our families have farming backgrounds. I'm what Farming twice removed, You're farming once removed and so we are both city kids but grew up farm adjacent and so at Thanksgiving every year was kind of our trip to the farm and getting to participate in that life for about a week, and we all went hunting on Wednesday. So Wednesday morning, um, every year, my dad, my uncles, my cousins, uh, and then some of the girls would go to. I went once.
Speaker 2:I was going to say are you going to tell the story of your hunting career?
Speaker 1:Yeah, Uh, my hunting career can be wrapped up in so. So I grew up uh around lots of guns and shooting and uh just hunting and very outdoor oriented sports. Uh, and I was really little the first time they had me shooting like a target. Yeah, and I think I was six. Okay, does that sound right?
Speaker 2:I don't know I think I was six.
Speaker 1:I wasn't there Um. I was six or eight, I don't know it's got a seven.
Speaker 2:It seems really young. Anyway, let's say seven. Yeah, let's say seven, we'll split the difference.
Speaker 1:I'm little, I'm single digits. The first time that, uh, they included me on the pheasant hunt, that's what I was getting out on Wednesday mornings Everybody went to go pheasant hunt and I was little and my dad was like all proud of me and excited and we're walking around and like all quiet through the fields, you know, and uh, the pheasant went up. I aimed the gun, I pulled the trigger, I hit the pheasant, the pheasant went down. We walked up to the pheasant to pick it up and this is such a like vivid memory for me which is which is surprising, cause you have very few like clear childhood memories.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah. That's the first time I realized that when you shoot something, it dies Like it was a living thing and that was the end of my. I never went again. You learned about mortality.
Speaker 2:You learned about guns I really, truly like.
Speaker 1:I don't have a problem with the hunting as a sport. Um, in terms of like, if you're A lot of our friends are avid utilizing. You know what you're killing. All that like, whatever great I my heart can't do it. Yeah, I can't do it. If I lived a hundred years ago, 200 years ago, vegetarian.
Speaker 2:I would have died. That was yeah. That was a tricky option in some of those days. No, I would have died, yeah.
Speaker 1:Like I would have had to really lean into plants more because I would have died.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:I can't do it. Well, I I couldn't be in charge anyway, Like I wouldn't be able to skin it. I wouldn't be, and I understand. It's just that's the reality. That's how life works and I, oh, anyway, yeah.
Speaker 2:You can't see how the sausage just made for sure.
Speaker 1:No, but yeah, I grew up fishing and hunting a lot, but anyway, Wednesday that's what we did and they would prepare pheasant and stuff for our Thanksgiving and we had big family, everybody around. My great-grandma, kroll, made my, made her cake every single year and my sister has taken on that tradition and continued to make that cake for Thanksgiving every single year and then we also had I don't know if this was on Thanksgiving day In my head it is, but remember your, remember that I'm telling stories that happened when I was a child, 20 years ago. So it's how I remember it. Not necessarily. Yeah, everything's correct, dad, if you're listening to this, dad's going to call me and be like none of this is what happened.
Speaker 2:This happened when you were this age. Yeah, we never did that.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's what he's going to do, and I to me. It will still stay the same, because this is how my brain has it categorized.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:But on Thanksgiving day we always did a skeet shooting contest and I think that's one of my most fond memories. Even though I was never in the competition I loved not that I wasn't, I mean like I wasn't competitive within the competition.
Speaker 1:They let all of us participate. You weren't, yeah, but my dad and his brother and his cousins would get so into it and they would. They would smack talk each other and like just go back and forth and everybody would be laughing and like we'd be in tears having such a good time. And then they made a trophy and every year somebody went home with it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's fun and.
Speaker 1:I like, I thought that was a blast and. I really want to do some things like that in the future where, like, I love the idea of a traveling trophy each year. Sure, I watched a TikTok video of a family that at Thanksgiving they started this when the kids were really little, they timed themselves putting up the Christmas tree. They have one of those really tall ones, like the kind that I grew up with, that it's not all connected, it's like the individual, like they slide in branches, got it? Do you know what I'm?
Speaker 2:saying, and the assembling of the tree itself, not decorating.
Speaker 1:No, not decorating. Got it the assembly of the tree. That makes no sense.
Speaker 2:I was like well, you can do it really fast, it's just going to look really bad and the way they time it.
Speaker 1:they don't do it from opening the box. They like you set up the pole and you get all the pieces out the branches out.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and then they say ready, go. And all of them they do it as fast as they can and on the box they write the year and how long it took them. All right, and they said that after Thanksgiving dinner they like sit and strategize about how they're going to lay out the branches and like how who's going to get what and like they have to work together and operate as a team.
Speaker 2:Yeah, what quadrant you're responsible for?
Speaker 1:Exactly and anyway and on the box, last year, like their record was like two minutes and 10 seconds and last year it said 2022, five minutes 53 seconds. And then Prince D's dad. Only because it was the first time all of them were adults and they weren't home to put it up, I was like, oh, but he's still timed.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I was going to say heartbroken now.
Speaker 1:But anyway, I'm going to cry, I'm like, oh, but they still did it the next year, like you, know, you're not always together, but I was like that's the kind of stuff that I want my kids to look forward to. I don't feel like it needs to be huge and over the top. I think it just needs to be consistent and I think that it needs to I don't know include people participating with one another and just enjoying being with one another, and I feel like we lack that right now.
Speaker 2:Consistency. For sure, that's not my forte, so it's good to build structure.
Speaker 1:You don't think that's your forte. You're one of the most consistent people I know, so that's from my perspective.
Speaker 2:You know I am and I'm not Tell me more. I guess the things that I do, I do repeatedly, but building new consistency, new routines is not a strength. I guess it's probably the right way to phrase it.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:So it takes you really got to carve in a new routine to get that going.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:And I can break it really fast.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:That's the tough part.
Speaker 1:Well, and I feel like, with traditions like this, though, it's easier than a new habit. Oh yeah. Because it's once a year. And yeah, there's a lot of prompting that goes into the holidays and we did establish one thing this year, and that is for putting up all the Christmas decorations. We got all into matching PJs when we got ready for bed and we put up all the decor and we played Christmas music and we made cookies and I was like that's something we could do every year We've got your ornament party as well.
Speaker 2:Yep, we have the ornament party.
Speaker 1:That's pretty established.
Speaker 2:Holiday Christmas tradition.
Speaker 1:And I think I talked about that many times before. But family friends, we make ornaments together and we do that every year, but I want as much of that. I think that's really the secret to having great community as a parent, as kids, is having that established time to connect. And Activities, activities, activities. Genuinely. I don't know, my brain's been off. You know what I had? I haven't told you this yet. This morning I was getting ready for the day and I was looking in the mirror and I had this. Just, it hit me like a train moment, realizing that we have to teach our kids how to rest.
Speaker 2:How to rest.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Oh, oh no.
Speaker 1:Like how to rest and recharge. What does that look like?
Speaker 2:I think, yeah, oh no, that's hitting me like a train right now live.
Speaker 1:I had that exact reaction. I full blown panicked. I realized.
Speaker 2:Especially when they don't have nap time. Once that's like Right, not a thing anymore, right.
Speaker 1:So how do we? Because what I was thinking about is them being sick.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:We don't do a good job of having a good established, like when we're sick. This is what we do in order to fuel our bodies and take care of ourselves.
Speaker 2:Yeah, like in this case it was like when we're sick we have to fly home, so we're going to the airport.
Speaker 1:Right.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yikes, oh, no, yeah, that's great. We mask out More responsibility. Yeah, we just power through it until your body quits. No, no, um, yeah, oh no. How are we going to do that?
Speaker 1:Right.
Speaker 2:Yep, guess we got to work on resting.
Speaker 1:Anyway, I just I had that this morning and realized I don't know how to teach them because I'm not sure I know how to do that.
Speaker 2:well, Watching football all Sunday? Is that a?
Speaker 1:I don't. I don't think that qualifies.
Speaker 2:Okay, it's not a good lesson, got it? I don't know that. It's Sure Not a good lesson.
Speaker 1:It's just that I think that we do a lot of passive resting that isn't actually restful and that would be like watching Red Zone on Sundays. Yeah Is, yes, it's a lot of quote unquote downtime, but are we really recharging and are we really feeling our best selves and ready and refreshed to move forward when we, you know?
Speaker 2:You've got the deep when is We've? Got the deep ideas today Boom.
Speaker 1:Well, I think of my friend Callie, and I talk about her all the time on the podcast because she is such a representation of what I hope to To establish in my kids. And her mom is just like her and I remember all through college one. She's one of the most self assured and confident people that I know. She just she's so secure in who she is and it doesn't bother her when people think something about her is a little different or odd and she just is who she is and I love that about her. But on top of that, I always think back to college.
Speaker 1:She made such an impact on me because on Sunday, every single Sunday, no matter what we did the night before, no matter how late we stayed out, no matter how bad everybody felt 8am which not that like it needs to be, this established but 8, 9am she would be out there in her cleaning outfit. She had Sophie's and a t-shirt that she wore to clean every single Sunday and she was vacuuming under us, she was bleaching, she was wiping down countertops every Sunday and it didn't take her long because she did it every Sunday. So it took her 45 minutes an hour, not that that's not like time consuming, but their place was always ready to relax and enjoy because she had this established routine. And so she got up, she did that and then her rest was much more restful because Shocking she was in a space that was Things were done.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it wasn't just putting all the things you do off.
Speaker 1:And I know people listening are probably like duh.
Speaker 2:Yeah, if you do your things, then you can relax.
Speaker 1:But to me it wasn't. Yeah, it's just when I don't want to do stuff.
Speaker 2:I gotta say college Sunday at 8am. That might as well been sunrise, Can you imagine Amazing.
Speaker 1:She was amazing yeah.
Speaker 2:That could. That was the equivalent of 4, 30 in the morning. It would have made no difference between 4, 30 and 8am to me.
Speaker 1:No, she was. She's incredible. She's still incredible. She's always been incredible. I look up to her so much and I look up to her mom so much. I've talked to her mom a lot about like how did you do this? How did you make this absolute unicorn of a person that is Callie?
Speaker 2:Really thought you were going to say unit of a person.
Speaker 1:Oh, that too Absolutely.
Speaker 2:Absolute unit of a person. That's how we describe our son.
Speaker 1:No, she's just, she's really spectacular, and she's one of the few friends that I look at, that I I don't think she is a result of good parenting. I mean, I think part of it is who she is too. I just think a lot of my friends, a lot of qualities that I appreciate with them, are not necessarily a result of parenting, but a result of trauma or a result of Filling a void.
Speaker 1:Yeah, which is great. You get where you get and it is what it is. But I look at Kali and I see where there was active parenting and active thought put into creating that. For her.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I guess a lot of people's traits are responses to their environment, rather than yes. Yeah, yep, makes sense.
Speaker 1:And I don't feel that way about her. When I talk to her, I don't feel like she's like oh well, the house had to be clean and my mom freaked out. It's not like that.
Speaker 2:It wasn't out of fear or shame or whatever.
Speaker 1:No, it was truly just establishing really good habits, like what a.
Speaker 2:Sounds great. What an idea.
Speaker 1:What a concept.
Speaker 2:Oh man, yikes Again. Deep thoughts today from Joe. I'm all over the place.
Speaker 1:I didn't ask Matt what he wanted to talk about before we came in today, because there are just so many things like rumbling around in my head.
Speaker 2:I was gonna say I think you've got enough ideas too. Yeah, I could just put the mic. I could turn my mic off and you could just go for.
Speaker 1:I don't wanna go though 30, 40 minutes. I wanna hear what you have to say about it?
Speaker 2:That all sounds great. Wonder how many times I've said I'm on this podcast. Yikes, no, tradition's great. Active parenting sounds great. Teaching them to rest sounds great. I think I have to learn half those things myself so we can learn together. That's been my parenting experience on many things is trying to figure out my own issues while teaching my kids to do the same. So look at this new list of stuff.
Speaker 1:Fun Traditions wise. Do you have any feedback on what you'd like to be included?
Speaker 2:I guess I can think back and there were certain foods that you would expect to see, like there would be pumpkin pie. For sure there would be cookies of some kind, whether I made them or family made them. But yeah, I think there's cool things that you can do that way.
Speaker 1:So tell me about those things. How are you bringing people together for that? Because when I hear that, like the way that you just described to me, I'm like, okay, so if I go to the store and buy a pumpkin pie and cookies, like is it right?
Speaker 2:Yeah, no, yeah. I think the goal would be to have everybody involved, which I like involved in kids and cooking and all that stuff, so I like to treat them like little adults. I just worked better for me.
Speaker 1:I love it when things go wrong, that's my sweet spot. Everything.
Speaker 2:I'm talking about no no, no that's not what I mean.
Speaker 1:I like in the kitchen and with the cooking and with what you're talking about. Like I look forward to the year that our kids are. They're gonna make the pumpkin pie by themselves. And it is salt instead of sugar or whatever.
Speaker 2:You know what I mean Sure, sure, sure.
Speaker 1:I look forward to that stuff, because to me it's just-, that's where the memory's at. Yeah.
Speaker 2:Like remember the time you poisoned everybody with your salt pie or whatever. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, that is true.
Speaker 1:But I don't want it to be in a way that feels shameful, that it's like oh, you messed up.
Speaker 2:I want it to be in a way of like was that not like the most fun yeah cause I have some of those that were like, oh no, that was not a good time. And then there's some of them that was like, yeah, everybody was fine, it was just funny.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:I feel like we burned a turkey one year and that was a whole deal. Yeah, yeah, those are. You know what? You're not wrong, that is, it's memorable. I'm sure there's lots of great stories out there from you guys on different that there's me burning the stuffing.
Speaker 1:Oh, that's so during COVID as a friendsgiving In 2020, it wasn't a friendsgiving, that was actual Thanksgiving.
Speaker 2:Oh, it was, you're right.
Speaker 1:It was actual.
Speaker 2:Thanksgiving and we were sick or somebody was sick.
Speaker 1:Nobody was sick, we just couldn't that's when everybody was hardcore quarantining, and so people weren't going home for holidays and we had some dear friends that invited us to come to their place and the four of us had Thanksgiving dinner together and Matt was just going to make a box of, like you know box stuffing, Not complicated. And Matt's made it so many times before. It was no big deal. And all of a sudden we smelled smoke and fire and Matt had burned the stuffing in the microwave.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so one of the major ingredients in box stuffing is water. It's also really important for microwaves, because microwaves work by vibrating the water, basically Like they. Anyway, I'm not going to explain microwaves, but it needs water, and so if you don't have water, there's not anything to heat up nicely and it just starts to burn things like stuffing.
Speaker 1:Or the bowl.
Speaker 2:And well, the stuffing kind of caught on fire, and then the bowl got some damage.
Speaker 1:The bowl smoked. For how long?
Speaker 2:Yeah, we put it outside. It smoked for I don't know an hour, two hours. It was like the eternal flame out there. Just we blew it out, but it was just smoldering. That bowl was ruined, the microwave was nearly ruined. The whole house smelled.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:I guess it smelled for several it wasn't our house. No, no, that was even worse. Was I just like poisoned someone else's microwave and left?
Speaker 1:But it's a really fun we break it up all the time.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it comes up every year. It's funny it comes up every year.
Speaker 1:So, and nobody was mad, it was just kind of funny, no, no, no, no, no, I probably had too many drinks.
Speaker 2:I was making stuffing.
Speaker 1:I think you were totally sober.
Speaker 2:Oh, no, hopefully.
Speaker 1:I don't think you were drinking at all.
Speaker 2:I was trying to make an excuse, I guess. Maybe not, yeah sorry, buddy.
Speaker 1:No, I'm going to let you have that one, so don't forget watering your microwave dishes, guys.
Speaker 2:It's like the whole thing.
Speaker 1:Yeah, next week's episode is our last episode of the season and I would love to do an episode where you guys send in your holiday mishaps and we read them.
Speaker 1:So, the email is down below and send in your most hilarious or horrible holiday mishap. It can be dramatic, it can be funny, it can be literally anything you want to share. And also, if you'll leave us voicemails or send us emails about any advice you want moving into the holiday season, we will hit those next week. It's our final episode of this year, cool, ok, you want to do Greg's week of the week?
Speaker 2:Yeah, he's been sending articles. I know it's been an active week.
Speaker 1:Greg Greg.
Speaker 2:I guess it's been two weeks because of the holiday. Yeah. We've definitely got some reading.
Speaker 1:He's been after it for sure. All right. No place in the US is safe from the climate crisis, but a new report shows where it's most severe.
Speaker 2:That's a terrifying photo. It looks like zombie apocalypse. It looks like the world's on fire in that picture. I guess a four creeping up on a five.
Speaker 1:I'm going five with the picture.
Speaker 2:The picture really is the icing on the cake. This is fairly terrifying.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:We didn't explain Greg's reads of the week. Greg's your dad reads it on the news and he sends us the articles. And then we rate those one to five on how much anxiety they give us.
Speaker 1:I always like articles like this, though, because usually it tells me living in the middle of the country is great, other than the new metric fault.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, the oceans are going to get to us last.
Speaker 1:Yes, ideally yeah, when the United States sinks.
Speaker 2:Yeah, when the polar ice caps melt.
Speaker 1:Yeah, no, that's scary. I really we're going to have to link it because I don't know if you can see. You can't really see it, but it's a absolutely demolished truck with a sun setting behind it and it looks like it's literally straight off the set of Zombie land.
Speaker 2:No, I was going to say that the walking dead, the walking dead is what I was going to say, but it wasn't coming to me All right.
Speaker 1:Next one Life expectancy for men in US falls to 73 years, six years less than women. That's fine.
Speaker 2:That's fine, I don't know two, one.
Speaker 1:That doesn't give me a ton of anxiety and it doesn't surprise me whatsoever Not at all, don't take care of yourself, don't live long.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:And I am not taking care of myself, so I better get it together.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it doesn't surprise me in any capacity. I don't know like a 1 and 1 half out of five.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:I hope that you take care of yourself, and that's not you know You're going to over under 73 for me. Over OK. For sure.
Speaker 2:Just carry over, ok.
Speaker 1:Like think about it, my grandfather is what. How old is he? 80. 80. Oh my gosh, six yeah.
Speaker 2:I was going to say upper echelon of the 80s. Like he's doing it, man. Yeah, I suppose that's true.
Speaker 1:Your grandfather's 80? Yeah, didn't they turn 80 this past year?
Speaker 2:I think you're right.
Speaker 1:So they're all past. Really, that's the life expectancy.
Speaker 2:This is really blowing my mind, yeah, which means a lot of people go before that.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that seems low to me.
Speaker 2:Well, I think we have longer living families. My family's got some longevity, for sure.
Speaker 1:Especially the women. I guess my grandma Larson was younger Not young, though. Like she was still, I don't know. I have a lot of questions. Yeah, I have a lot of questions, all right, more than this is what I was laughing about. I shouldn't laugh. It's not funny, but more than 20 toddlers sickened if I led. Linked to applesauce pouches. Cdc says oh no. Like five out of five.
Speaker 2:Why did I laugh at that?
Speaker 1:I don't know. That's why I think I was laughing at you, laughing at it. Well, I started laughing because when I read it, the immediate thing that went in my brain was the videos of people being like there's lead in these and it's iron.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:People will use magnets. That doesn't seem right. Is it magnets To pull the iron out and like look, there's metal in these and it's fortified with iron?
Speaker 2:Yes, yeah, the iron is for your body.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's what I was laughing at I was immediately thinking about that. But that's horrible, absolutely horrible, and I'm sure dad sent that to make sure that we don't feed whatever. But jokes on you, dad. We don't use applesauce pouches, we have DIY.
Speaker 2:We have refillable ones.
Speaker 1:Refillable ones because we are cheap and we buy the giant applesauce thing, our kid also likes to eat a lot of applesauce.
Speaker 2:So, little applesauce pouches she wants to eat like four of them.
Speaker 1:Yeah, we buy applesauce and bulk and then use refillable pouches, yeah, so all right, eco-friendly Look at us. I know these places are just devouring money. Colleges are splurging on fancy new buildings and programs. Didn't we just have one like this?
Speaker 2:Yeah, I think that might be a repeat. I know it came after. Like other ones we haven't read.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:We hadn't read that yet, but I thought we did.
Speaker 1:We read one that was very similar, but I don't think that that's Got it.
Speaker 2:Same gist, though, yeah.
Speaker 1:Dad's really absorbed in the colleges devouring money. Yeah, I like it All right, All right. Shark Matrix Robot Vacuum has no spots missed on carpets and ha Dot dot dot.
Speaker 2:And ha I don't know. I mean that doesn't give me any anxiety.
Speaker 1:But me either. I think this is straight from Walmart.
Speaker 2:I'm wondering if this is literally just a link to a product.
Speaker 1:It totally is Nice, I'm dying. No missed spots on carpets and hardwood floors. That's the name of the robot.
Speaker 2:Oh wow, they're really going for SEO in that title.
Speaker 1:Yeah, zero out of five.
Speaker 2:And.
Speaker 1:I would like one. It did work on me.
Speaker 2:Sure, it looks cool All right, we'll do one more.
Speaker 1:I can't stop. There's so many, you guys, we had so many options.
Speaker 2:This could be a 25 minute segment if we chose to read all of them.
Speaker 1:Here's the average salary. Each generation says it needs to feel financially healthy. Gen Z requires dot, dot dot.
Speaker 2:Oh no, three and a half three.
Speaker 1:No anxiety for me, no, no. I believe that this is. Dad gets really caught up in these because it's like I don't know that this article is what it is, but dad's called me About articles like this now multiple times where the income will be like they think they need to make a hundred and fifteen thousand dollars and then. But they said they'd be okay to retire if they had eight hundred thousand dollars in the bank or whatever it is. And he's like it doesn't add up, it doesn't make sense.
Speaker 2:Like you know what I'm like, but they're, though people like are really good at math and making sense of long-term right Decisions.
Speaker 1:Yeah, they are not, which is what the point he's making, but I'm like I don't need that as a point.
Speaker 2:I know that yeah, anyway, I'm making that mistake, let me know. But yeah, I don't really need which, like maybe I am actually don't let me know. I don't need to know any mistakes I'm making.
Speaker 1:It's fine. We got time in my mind. I am nailing it.
Speaker 2:Not really.
Speaker 1:Yeah, oh, no do you have a word of the week.
Speaker 2:Where do the week? Oh no.
Speaker 1:We can skip word of the week for a second. I mean, we're gonna come back around to it. But we can talk about bad.
Speaker 2:Dad mean mom bad, dad mean mom.
Speaker 1:I feel like we had some really good ones. I I have a really good one.
Speaker 1:Okay, hey so we have been using the bounce house outside non-stop for the last few months and Because it hasn't been cold, we haven't set up the bounce house inside for a while. But it was cold this week and so we set it up inside, and when playing outside you can throw yourself into the walls of the bounce house and it's not so big of a deal. But the problem is I should have put a cap on that and been like no, we can't throw ourselves into the wall like that.
Speaker 1:Yeah because if we were inside that could be unsafe. But it didn't even cross my mind until we were inside and we did a nice run and throw into the wall and Ran right into a table. Yeah, and then get it got absolutely hurtled Back into the center of the bounce house.
Speaker 2:Uh-huh, because tables are hard. Yeah and normally the netting just kind of gently Rolls you back into the bounce house. Right yeah, that makes sense. Yeah, I'm gonna go, my mom, yeah, for sure it's kind of a general General note that we need to keep track of yeah, recovered like an absolute champ. She did. She wanted to keep bouncing.
Speaker 1:Yeah, but Whoo that what that did not feel like my finest, no no, travel went really well.
Speaker 2:I was trying to think if we had any travel, we had great great but our kids Crushed it slayed the house down with the flights.
Speaker 1:Yeah, absolutely demolished eight. Yeah, no, no, yeah, just either slept or made it look like we knew exactly what we were doing.
Speaker 2:Yeah, like the perfect iPad. Kid slash sleeping kid, so Just crushed three hour flights.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I'm not above iPad kid on a flight.
Speaker 2:No we really don't pull out all the stops on a flight.
Speaker 1:We're not iPad. Well, it's just have an iPad, but no, we're not like watch a device people. Yeah, but instead of any where phone that she, yeah, can use but on a flight you best believe. Even in the car we don't whip out the no, we are pretty good activities. We have little soft books, we sleep we do a lot of look out the window, yeah, whatever it is. But man, we are iPad kids on the flight, again a plane.
Speaker 2:You're in a confined space. It's like being in a car with a hundred other people. Yeah, so just it's every man for himself for sure. But no, we did. I think we did good there. Everybody got ill. Yeah so that wasn't great, but I don't know that that was our fault.
Speaker 1:No, it's just family and holidays.
Speaker 2:Yeah, unfortunately, for three years in a row at Thanksgiving.
Speaker 1:We were kind of my own tradition three out of four of us were fine on our way home.
Speaker 2:Yeah it was once we got home, so yeah, I'm gonna say I had my own tradition for Thanksgiving for a few years in a row and that's that I would get bronchitis every year. For three years in a row I couldn't speak.
Speaker 1:How old were you?
Speaker 2:Like 12, like 11, 12, 13 or somewhere in there.
Speaker 1:Did you actually have bronchitis or were you sure?
Speaker 2:Okay, no, like I had full blown bronchitis.
Speaker 1:I thought maybe you were just like playing it up to not have to participate choosing to not talk to people like I, couldn't like I. Was wild. I've never seen you like that it's. I hope it really happened like three years in a row.
Speaker 2:Wow, but that one time wild. Yeah, it was a. It was a Thanksgiving tradition for me.
Speaker 1:I hate that.
Speaker 2:Yeah, but it's not like set ourselves up for that one.
Speaker 1:No.
Speaker 2:Word of the week. If you know what the word olfactory olfactory like Um it's spelled like it sounds they made it down at the olfactory. Yeah now if you just combine olfactory.
Speaker 1:Okay, olfactory.
Speaker 2:Yep, there it is.
Speaker 1:Is it similar to olfactory?
Speaker 2:No, it has nothing to do with the factory. Oh, okay, I don't know then it has to do with the sense of smell. Oh yeah, what? That's your olfactory sense.
Speaker 1:Oh, old factory, yeah, what can you define it?
Speaker 2:having to do with the sense of smell.
Speaker 1:Okay.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Yeah. What do I use that for? Is that useful in any way? Like ooh, ooh, ooh.
Speaker 2:My olfactory sense is oh, do I have to say?
Speaker 1:sense with it.
Speaker 2:No, you don't have to, but Okay let me see what you're gonna do.
Speaker 1:Mass olfactory bleeds a lot.
Speaker 2:Nope, that's not it. That's just my nose, Doesn't really have to do with my sense of smell.
Speaker 1:It does how your nose does.
Speaker 2:Yes, my nose has to do with my sense of smell, okay, but the fact it bleeds has nothing to do with my sense of smell.
Speaker 1:Okay, matt's olfactory is not affected by his bleeding.
Speaker 2:There it is, I don't know. Again, it's not really a. I think it's more of an adjective than a noun.
Speaker 1:I don't like it, it's not an olfactory. I don't like that's. That is my brain.
Speaker 2:I gotta stop doing adjectives. The adjectives are really hard for me but it's so funny when you try to use an adjective as a noun. You know that's kind of the part of the charm of it.
Speaker 1:You just like to make me look kind of stupid. That's kind of the point of the segment.
Speaker 2:Not really okay. Oh, man, okay, Okay, let's read something from somebody else you have all the emails.
Speaker 1:We don't have any voicemails today.
Speaker 2:All right, let's voicemail free. Wow, running lean running lean.
Speaker 1:Oh somebody sent me an incredible voice memo though the other day that I wanted to note when we recorded next.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah.
Speaker 1:Uh, that Matt and I were talking about how? Something about parenting.
Speaker 1:Uh, oh, it was uh our kids reacting to yes, matt, on a couple episodes ago was talking about how something that's been really hard for him is when our Kid comforts him or like, leans into him and is like it's okay, it's gonna be okay, it gives him a hug or something. When he feels like you're not Regulating well, yeah, and we express that to be kind of a Not negative thing, just like it doesn't feel great. And somebody sent me a really long, beautiful voice memo talking about how, uh, the way that they saw that uh is that our child's clearly seeing other people be empathetic to one another in their lives and so when they see somebody who's not having a good time, instead of being avoidant or dismissive, her leaning in and attempting comfort and, uh, calming words is her Miring behavior. She sees in us and that that's really cool and I, like I was like that's such a beautiful perspective that I hadn't thought about and I wanted to note it on here.
Speaker 2:That was definitely encouraging. That it's Even though your kid is comforting you through something you're not handling well, they are At least learning the skill to uh, empathize and help. So that was very cool, very, uh, lovely thought. So All right, let's hit a email here. Hi, joan matt.
Speaker 2:I'm a long time tiktok follower and love getting to hear more from both of you on the podcast. So many of your conversations remind me of my husband and I and really resonate with me. My husband and I recently got married and have a challenging relationship with his family. It's something we've worked through in our couples therapy and he's made it very clear to his family from day one that we are a team. We live out of state, so a lot of time a lot of the time we don't have to think about our interactions with them. However, the holidays approaching always increases my anxiety. Being around them ballad. They are judgmental about the things my husband and I believe and specifically speak very poorly of me. Behind my back there's also a lot of passive, aggressive behavior, inappropriate comments, invasive questions and guilt tripping tactics. I get so anxious thinking about navigating this relationship for the rest of my life, especially once we have kids. What is your advice for managing this relationship and setting the tone early on in our marriage?
Speaker 1:Thank you, I think the biggest thing is you two stay on the same page and nobody else's actions are really that relevant beyond that.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I think that's fair.
Speaker 1:I think that you need to Seek out safety in your marriage and when those comments are said, take note and discuss them later with one another, if you guys both have the capacity to do that, but not in order to become bitter or petty or build up just more to process through them. At the root of it, you're not going to change differing beliefs with other people through, like you're not going to commence them with your actions or your words. And so continue to be yourself, continue to be kind, continue to give space, even even though it doesn't necessarily seem earned or deserved, because that's the thing about kindness and the thing about empathy Is it ideally doesn't need to be earned and it's not something people have to act a certain way in order to deserve. It is there in order to help you walk through your day-to-day life and be okay with the fact that some people aren't going to be on the same page with you and they may say hurtful things, but that is theirs to deal with, not yours to carry.
Speaker 2:Mm-hmm. Yeah, I think the other good thing you're doing is you're addressing it early. You're not waiting for some Some elevated incident years down the road. So setting those boundaries early and often I think we've talked about that several times is just and doing that in every aspect of your life. But relationships and family are definitely a big trigger point for that.
Speaker 1:And I think it's really important to have it established, like where the lines are that you're expecting your partner to step up for you in those situations, Because when it's not your family, it can be very uncomfortable to be the one to stand up and be like, no, you can't talk to me like that and so making sure that you have a good, strong idea of what those boundaries are between you and your partner. So if any of those lines are crossed, your partner has the opportunity in the pathway, like already kind of set of oh, that boundary was crossed, it's my job to stand up and reestablish that boundary, whether that's in the moment or one on one later, whatever you're comfortable with and whatever you decide, but that's true, definitely having an intervention plan.
Speaker 1:And that's different for everybody. I think that's a really important thing to note because I feel like with you and I, I can take quite a bit before I expect, like people can be pretty rowdy with me and they can be pretty. I can really listen to a lot before I need or want you to step in. Yeah.
Speaker 2:And you're I mean you're pretty good about standing your ground in general.
Speaker 1:Whereas I feel like it's the opposite, like with you. I think a line gets crossed a lot earlier with you and I need to be, and I'm not saying one's right and one's wrong.
Speaker 2:I'm just saying it's not gonna be the same, it's gonna look different for different people.
Speaker 1:So again, really leading into your marriage and finding where those lines are.
Speaker 2:Mm-hmm, yeah Is that. I think that makes sense. Okay, great Good luck in the holidays. Hopefully Thanksgiving went well and Godspeed on Christmas, I guess yeah.
Speaker 1:Or Hanukkah, or the number of other holidays they may be celebrating.
Speaker 2:Just going by banking holidays here, I guess, yeah, I don't know. All right, Another one. Hello, my name is Aspen and I'm from Southeast Missouri and I recently started listening. I was looking on Instagram and saw that one of the the reels that Joe posted In this you were talking about how you plan to teach your daughter the body functions over appearance.
Speaker 2:I myself, a 10 month old little girl, and I've always had very horrible body positivity and I've always been extremely harsh on myself, and this is something that I don't want her to experience. I came from a home where appearance was everything and body image was never praised, so naturally, I would like to have a. I would like to teach my daughter that her body is beautiful, no matter what. So, joe, I was wondering how you go about teaching function over appearance when it comes to the body. Thank you so much for taking time to read and thank you for answering.
Speaker 1:I don't want to start this off with a negative remark, but I'm going to. The body is beautiful. Always is in the statement for me, like that's a hard no for me because it's not and that's okay. And I think the big thing that changed for me is going away from body positivity and moving toward neutrality and acceptance of my body at all times, because your body really isn't meant to look at, that's not the function that it serves, it's not its place.
Speaker 1:And that doesn't mean that it's wrong to feel beautiful. It doesn't mean that it's wrong to want to feel good. It doesn't mean that we can't prioritize our appearance in any way, but kind of working through and learning how to accept our bodies, even when they're not in those peak places. And like right now, I'm definitely in a season, the last couple months, where I'm starting to move toward, I think, the end of my breastfeeding journey, or at least like real foods are really being introduced. So I'm breastfeeding a lot less and I can tell my hormones are shifting and changing. My skin's been broken out, my body doesn't feel like my own and I feel very soft, floppy.
Speaker 1:I don't know like it's just not necessarily You've got a flaccid body. Yeah, my body feels flaccid, exactly. I don't know. It's just like not, it's not normal. And I have found that I'm in a peak time in challenging my thinking, in looking in the mirror and still feeling okay with myself, like it's okay that I'm there, and really focusing on what my body's doing for me. Yeah, my skin doesn't look great, but I'm waking up in the morning and I'm participating with my family and I am able to have original thoughts and I am able to clean my house and I am able to work a job and I am able to do all of these other things that my body serves Like my body serves to function in more ways than just its appearance, so far beyond it.
Speaker 2:Regardless of how it looks, your body works and does all these things.
Speaker 1:And so that's really where I start, like when I'm with G, it's not that I never tell her that she's cute or beautiful or adorable, I tell both my kids that in abundance. But we also really focus on what is it doing for us. Look at how strong we are, look at how well balanced we are, look at the way that our feet help us stand and look at the way our strong muscles, you know, do X, y, z and look at how our eyes are allowing us to make a measurement so that we can bake, and really focusing on the functions and the feels of our body rather than the outward appearance. And you'll find at least I've found as I narrate that more and more for my kids. It kind of has rewired my brain to also narrate my own life that way and in turn I feel better about myself.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I think that's the biggest thing and you touched on it there at the end is you're gonna have to fix it for yourself. It's a lesson I'm having to learn in a lot of different categories. But just wanting your kids to be different than you isn't enough. You have to give them an example to look at, because no matter what you tell them to do, they're still gonna see you, and so if you talk negatively to yourself, they will adopt that behavior because that's what they're gonna see and understand as the way to talk to yourself. And so it starts with you just being a good example, just working on it. And sometimes it's even good to be transparent with like I'm not there, I don't have it figured out, but this is what I'm trying to do, and the more you can communicate that and the earlier you can communicate, that, I think, is always good.
Speaker 1:Do what I say, not what I do, is not an effective method. No, and I think when we put it that way, we all know that, but I think so often we focus on how am I gonna be around my kid in order to make it better, and the thing is, don't focus on the way you're interacting with your child more than how much you focus on how you're interacting with yourself, because if you change how you're interacting with yourself, everything that comes with interacting with your child will come with it, whereas if you only focus on your interactions with your children, then that's not gonna change anything about you and they're always gonna be seeing your example, first and foremost.
Speaker 2:Yeah, the thing is. I think it also really highlights when you're not following what you say. If you're like we need to be really positive of our bodies, but you're constantly talking about how you're uncomfortable or don't like aspects of your body, they're gonna see that as well. Like you can't control every interaction with your child, because they see things that you don't even realize they see.
Speaker 1:That's what I was gonna note, because a lot of people think they're doing a stellar job, especially the first couple years, when they're little of well, I don't say anything like that in front of them, I only say it when I'm by myself. I only your kids pick up on everything, everything and you may think that you're like you got it figured out and you're pulling off this being two different people, but I doubt it.
Speaker 2:I'm not. No, no, no, no. It's also exhausting if you are trying to do that.
Speaker 1:Either way, it's exhausting, so you might as well work on yourself a little bit along the way, yeah yeah, and just practicing again.
Speaker 2:the reminder that's great for me to remember is doing it for them, not necessarily for myself. There's a lot of things that I know I need to work on for myself that I don't take seriously enough until I realize that my kids are looking at me and they're gonna have to see somebody do the things in order to believe them and in order to understand how to do them. So that's been one of those that's been on my mind a lot lately.
Speaker 1:So yeah, I feel that.
Speaker 2:I was debating, tattooing it in my hands.
Speaker 1:I was just thinking about that. That's funny that you said that.
Speaker 2:Just so every time I have my phone I can just see it.
Speaker 1:I almost said out loud that you were, and then I was like don't go there. And then you brought it up. I was literally if you watch the video back, you guys go back, look at it. I was staring at your hands because I was thinking about it.
Speaker 2:I just want it there so that when I pick up my phone or do things that I'm distracted with, it's just a gentle reminder. But I haven't figured out what that looks like, so if anyone has great designs on that, yeah, if anybody has a really good hand tattoo design. Reminding yourself to do things for your kid and not for yourself, but also for yourself.
Speaker 1:That's the weird part, well but don't you think at the root of it, like wanting to be better for your kids is for yourself?
Speaker 2:It works that way. But also there is something to be said to wanting to improve yourself for yourself. That's just not a strength of mine and it's something I'm not there yet on, but I can motivate myself by wanting to do it for other people, especially my kids, because you're ultimately responsible for them and in a way that you're not responsible for anybody else.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:So that keeps me grounded.
Speaker 1:I love it. Do you have?
Speaker 2:another email. Yeah, yeah, I've got one more, let's do one more email. Hey guys, love you all in the realness you bring every week. I remember Joe saying at one point Matt can get stains out of just about anything, and I'd love some elaboration on that. I'm a stay at home mom who's not good at getting stains out, and if there's grease or sauce involved, all hope is lost.
Speaker 1:Don't worry, matt's got you.
Speaker 2:So I'd like to know if Matt has some tips on getting stains out and what products he likes to use.
Speaker 1:I think we should make a maths. I think that okay, this is a TikTok series I've been toyed with Is I think we should have Matt's guide to stains. Okay, I think that.
Speaker 2:I Google it every time, though.
Speaker 1:It doesn't matter.
Speaker 2:Sure, sure, sure.
Speaker 1:That doesn't like I don't understand. Do you think that everybody was just? Well, I went to med school. They can just go to med school.
Speaker 2:No, no, I didn't go to laundry school. Okay, but yes, my point stands Okay okay, are you just gonna bring me different, like garments that have been stained?
Speaker 1:I mean, I guys, if you want blood, I have some stuff that I got blood on.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's, had some bleeding. Had some bleeding.
Speaker 2:Cool.
Speaker 1:Got that.
Speaker 2:I mean, that's a great point. Blood, bodily fluids hydrogen peroxide tends to be the good. Almost all stains if you can get them wet so that they don't set in or dry, the sooner you can do that, even if you can't treat them, if you can keep them wet, yeah, yeah, like that happens a lot with especially things that would be water soluble but which I don't. I'm not gonna go through a list. I honestly I really do.
Speaker 1:Google and double check, so why don't you hit the two?
Speaker 2:that she said God. The two that she said grease or sauce involved Don. Don is like the go to.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Because it it pulls grease. What do you do to put it?
Speaker 1:directly on it. What do?
Speaker 2:you walk us through it A lot of times. Yeah, A lot of times. I'll directly treat like a grease stain with Don Okay.
Speaker 1:I walk in, okay, and I've taken my hoodie off and I go, matt, I got grease on it. What do you do? Step by step.
Speaker 2:Step by step. No-transcript. I'll either. I don't know if I get it damp right away or if I put the dawn on it right away. Usually I'll put dawn on it right away. I think, Just kind of like saturate the stain With dawn, Let it sit, put in some water to help.
Speaker 1:How long do you let it sit?
Speaker 2:I don't know, you just kind of, sometimes you just let it be for a long time. Okay, soaking is going to be your friend a lot of times.
Speaker 1:Yeah, Matt has a stain bucket.
Speaker 2:Yeah, there's. I have several stain buckets because, especially with babies that have blowouts, it's critical to let the one to get them wet, especially if you're not doing laundry. Right then is keep it wet so that it's not dried in, because it's a lot more work. And then, yeah, hydrogen peroxide dawn. I'm not afraid of a little bleach on your whites and lights. Yeah, that can really do some work. So diluted bleach and soaking Soaking is your friend.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I really think that that would be a really fun series.
Speaker 2:Okay, okay. What's the way with it?
Speaker 1:I'm just saying.
Speaker 2:Matt, last night was like.
Speaker 1:I want to know what content I could be making and I think Matt's guide to getting out stains will work. On the name, if anybody has a good name, yeah.
Speaker 2:Also, don't dry things that have a stain Like do not let, do not machine dry them.
Speaker 1:Ideally, don't dry them at all.
Speaker 2:Yeah, but like, if you've got a stain you're working on, don't be afraid to run it through the washer again. Do whatever you can to not dry it until you've got your stain out, because that's going to set you back big time if you dry it A lot of times that will set it.
Speaker 1:You still get stuff out.
Speaker 2:You can, but it's a ton of work. Yeah but you've done it. I've done it, but it's. Your best bet is just don't dry it. Take a look at it once you get it out of the wash Go still bad. Run it back again. Sometimes it's just throwing it in the washer again Like if it got better. Sometimes I'll just run it back.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:It's yeah, I feel so much out vibes.
Speaker 1:It's such a talent though.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I've had a lot of practice.
Speaker 1:You're really good and I hate throwing out clothes.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you won't do it. So, yeah, that's true too. That's a different problem, but it's not because they're dirty or stained most of the time. They are immaculately clean, probably because they don't fit my body anymore and I refuse to to even do it then.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you've had a hard time every time you've transitioned sizes. Yeah, from all the way, like in middle school, apparently, according to your mom.
Speaker 2:That's true, that's true.
Speaker 1:Like the tag, size really matters to you.
Speaker 2:I yeah.
Speaker 1:I've tried to let that go more. A lot of women really like.
Speaker 2:I have a lot of women's problems.
Speaker 1:No, no, no, that's not what I was saying I was not shaming anything about it. That was not my intention. I'm so sorry if that's how that came across. No, I have just never. I've just always been worried about how something fits me. My clothes range from small to like two.
Speaker 2:X is probably the biggest thing I have in my closet. You've been a great example in that category.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I because.
Speaker 2:I being like if it fits, nobody can see the tag. Yeah, I don't know. Like, if it fits and it looks good, what does it matter?
Speaker 1:I don't, yeah, I don't.
Speaker 2:You're going to feel more comfortable in it, rather than squeezing yourself into a tag size and being like well, this looks like trash, but I'm in a.
Speaker 1:I'm in a. I can't read. Well, I've, I've just never made sense to me?
Speaker 2:No, it doesn't make sense.
Speaker 1:But that's that place that I am really sensitive. Yeah, I don't like things to feel uncomfortable. I will not wear them. Yeah, if you see me some wearing something, it's comfortable. Yeah, pretty much universally.
Speaker 2:Yeah, there's very few times you'll step out of the door and something that you're not comfortable in.
Speaker 1:No, because it's all I can think about.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:If I'm uncomfortable, like all night, I will be like the stress is a little short or like it all be like pulling it down, or I'll be like messing with what and I don't. That's not any fun, no, I just want to be present, Even if I look ugly. I'd rather be present and ugly than cute and uncomfortable.
Speaker 2:I don't know that everyone would agree with that, but really Lots of people just want to look good.
Speaker 1:I mean, I would prefer to look good, don't get me wrong.
Speaker 2:But you choose to feel good over looking good 100%.
Speaker 1:Lots of people would choose to look good over feeling good.
Speaker 2:I would rather like if my only option Like you could guarantee people that they look good, but would be uncomfortable. Many people would choose that.
Speaker 1:Oh, I promise you God. No, it's all I could think about.
Speaker 2:Some people are just like I look hot. Maybe that's all they're thinking about.
Speaker 1:You know, maybe that's enough for them. And I get that. I love to look hot, Don't get me wrong. Like when I look good, I'm like wow, this is peak. But if I'm uncomfortable, I guess it depends.
Speaker 2:I've been in my oversized clothes era right now.
Speaker 1:You look hot.
Speaker 2:I've been buying just the Jumbo as t-shirts in the land. They're so comfy.
Speaker 1:And you look great. Yeah, you look so great.
Speaker 2:They fit better.
Speaker 1:You're acting like they're so jumbo and like, yes, they are a boxier cut, but they're not jumbo, oversized on you, they fit they fit, but they're meant to be oversized. Oversized. Look, yeah, it's the look but it's very comfy. Yeah, thanks, you're welcome. Well, on that note, subscribe, follow along.
Speaker 2:Get into the stuff.
Speaker 1:We have one more episode of this year, and or two, one, two, we have two more. Yeah, I keep saying, we only have one, because I thought we only had one, but we have two more. We have December 6th and December 13th.
Speaker 2:And I feel like we've got a backlog of like emails too, so maybe we'll put together a little something.
Speaker 1:Okay, so what we're going to do, going back to, we're going to do mishabs and then we're going to have an episode of responding to all your holiday questions. So those are coming up. Send us the email. Yeah, leave us a voicemail. We love you, guys and we'll talk soon. Bye, bye.