Ever felt the pressure of not matching past successes? Or perhaps the societal demands of having an identity outside of being a parent? We take an introspective look at our personal and professional lives, and we break down our experiences with identity crises, postpartum depression, the challenges of evolving in a creative career, and what it truly means to live in the present. This week we give some insight in to how 2023 has gone and what we hope will be different as we enter a new year.
Enjoy a few fun personal anecdotes - from our daughter hilariously picking up phrases to our initial dating days and questionable fashion choices - as we attempt to keep things light during our 2023 recap. After all that, we hit Greg's Reads of the Week and Matt picks another Word of the Week on the fly before jumping into the last voicemail session of the year.
Topics include parenting, relationships, and mental health, so join us for a candid discussion on life, growth, and the joys and struggles of being parents.
We are going on break until January 10th, but don't let that stop you from reaching out to our email or voicemail!
Thank you to everyone who has joined us over the past sixty episodes and we look forward to making it even better next year!
If you've got a voicemail or want our (likely unqualified) advice on something, hit us up at the Speakpipe link below!
http://www.speakpipe.com/oversharingwiththeoverbys
If you'd like to email us you can reach the pod at oversharing@jojohnsonoverby.com!
CONNECT:
TikTok: @jojohnsonoverby / @matt.overby
Instagram: @jojohnsonoverby / @matt.overby
Website: https://jojohnsonoverby.com/
Watch the Podcast: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL29Si0ylWz2qj5t6hYHSCxYkvZCDGejGq
Ever felt the pressure of not matching past successes? Or perhaps the societal demands of having an identity outside of being a parent? We take an introspective look at our personal and professional lives, and we break down our experiences with identity crises, postpartum depression, the challenges of evolving in a creative career, and what it truly means to live in the present. This week we give some insight in to how 2023 has gone and what we hope will be different as we enter a new year.
Enjoy a few fun personal anecdotes - from our daughter hilariously picking up phrases to our initial dating days and questionable fashion choices - as we attempt to keep things light during our 2023 recap. After all that, we hit Greg's Reads of the Week and Matt picks another Word of the Week on the fly before jumping into the last voicemail session of the year.
Topics include parenting, relationships, and mental health, so join us for a candid discussion on life, growth, and the joys and struggles of being parents.
We are going on break until January 10th, but don't let that stop you from reaching out to our email or voicemail!
Thank you to everyone who has joined us over the past sixty episodes and we look forward to making it even better next year!
If you've got a voicemail or want our (likely unqualified) advice on something, hit us up at the Speakpipe link below!
http://www.speakpipe.com/oversharingwiththeoverbys
If you'd like to email us you can reach the pod at oversharing@jojohnsonoverby.com!
CONNECT:
TikTok: @jojohnsonoverby / @matt.overby
Instagram: @jojohnsonoverby / @matt.overby
Website: https://jojohnsonoverby.com/
Watch the Podcast: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL29Si0ylWz2qj5t6hYHSCxYkvZCDGejGq
Welcome to Oversharing with Overbys. I'm Jo.
Matt:And I'm Matt.
Jo:And each week you can tune in to hear us respond to your voice mails, go in depth on our lives as content creators and hopefully leave you feeling even better than we found you.
Matt:With that being said, let's get to oversharing.
Jo:It's the end of the year.
Matt:It is the end of the year.
Jo:It's the end of the year. One note I realized today I was trying to put together content for year in review of like these are my favorite books that I read this year, these are my favorite products that are new to me this year, these are my favorite like movies that I saw. Whatever I was going to put together like a guide of all those things, but I realized nobody does that content until after Christmas.
Matt:Really.
Jo:Yeah.
Matt:Actually.
Jo:Yeah, Like that's not. When you see a bunch of that, like everything leading up to holiday I feel like is holiday.
Matt:Okay. Oh, it's like the holidays are coming.
Jo:Right the day after Christmas, like the 26th until New Year's, then everybody hits it really hard with the year in review content.
Matt:But you're just getting prepped.
Jo:Well, I don't post.
Matt:Oh, that's right For two years in a row.
Jo:I take that time off.
Matt:Yeah.
Jo:And I had decided I was going to do that again. But it's kind of like that's some of my favorite stuff.
Matt:Yeah.
Jo:But maybe I should try and post it before Christmas, or maybe I'll prep it all and then I'll just throw some things out early.
Matt:You're going to be, you're going to be the trendsetter.
Jo:No One thing. I will never be as a trendsetter is not your jam.
Matt:No, we were talking about that online the other day, yeah, Cause you were like I don't have a good sense of fashion, or like I'm style style. You don't have a style that you were claiming.
Jo:I don't have. When I say I'm not stylish, I mean, I'm not a trendsetter, I am not a style. Uh, what am I trying to say? I'm not a ground breaker.
Matt:Yeah, you, you have. You have your own style, but you're not pioneering styles, correct? You're not the one people are going to go look to for the hot new thing.
Jo:No, you're not even going to go to me for the hot current thing. Do you know what I mean? Like there's nothing, trend, sure, and not that I never incorporate trends.
Matt:Yeah, you try to stay relatively current, but you've you've focused much more on doing what you like.
Jo:The outfit I'm wearing today.
Matt:Yep.
Jo:The dress is the dress I was wearing when you proposed Yep.
Matt:Like I, so it's just a little bit older, correct. Yeah, like a decade and a half, what no?
Jo:You think it's 15,. You think you proposed 15 years ago.
Matt:Yep. So what it feels like you know man the dress is seven years old, not 15.
Jo:Holy cannoli, it's not the dress I was wearing when you asked me out. No, I was probably wearing sweatpants.
Matt:That's. That's almost certainly true. You dressed exclusively in baggy sweatpants and sports tees, but not like sports teams, like swimming swim team tees and t-shirts from some meats. Yeah, yeah, like the cheap t-shirts you get from school stuff. Yep, that was your jam.
Jo:And sweatpants, and they weren't styled in any kind of way.
Matt:You remember how weird it was Like when you would put on real clothes. I feel like it was almost a statement when you did.
Jo:It wasn't weird to me.
Matt:Sure, but other people.
Jo:No, because nobody talks to me. Okay, nobody told me. They thought it was weird that I wore athletic gear all the time.
Matt:I don't think they thought it was weird, I think it was more.
Jo:It kind of seems like you thought it was weird.
Matt:No, that was just what you wore. It was normal at the time, so it was abnormal irregular.
Jo:My parents do talk about how weird it was when, like homecoming and prom, happened to see all of the girls that swam, I mean, and the boys too, but especially the girls dressed up because we'd have makeup on and we'd, you know, go the whole nine yards to be like who are these people? I've never met these kids. Yeah, exactly yeah, something's a weird sport, dude.
Matt:It was.
Jo:It was. I'm surprised that our kid puts man at the end of her sentence and not dude.
Matt:Yeah, it is yeah. So our kid has been saying man.
Speaker 3:I don't know man.
Matt:I don't know, man, yeah, that's, that's what's going on. Man, it's like and she picked it up from you because you say, man, on the end of like a couple of things that you say, yeah. And but she's adopted it.
Jo:To punctuate about 25% of her sentences. It's so good. Yeah, it's so good. I love it.
Matt:I don't like that man yeah. She does say it with like a tone too.
Jo:Yeah, but you're not capturing it, okay.
Matt:You're making it sound real twangy like oh man man, it's like flat.
Jo:Just zing and they can't say that. There you go. And that's what it sounded like we were starting.
Matt:No no, that's been really funny though.
Jo:Yeah, okay, so it's the end of the year. Yep, I want to do some year in review. I have one big piece of feedback. I was looking back to our start of this season. We talked about goals for the year and I, we really failed. Yeah, we did. This is maybe our worst year of goals ever.
Matt:It's not been good.
Jo:So what do you think of 2023 as a whole?
Matt:2023? Uh, it could have been better. For sure, I didn't accomplish everything I would have liked to accomplish.
Jo:Highlight was definitely having R.
Matt:I was going to say having our son, yeah, that was good that was a big high. He's been good. That's the main positive, I feel like, but it has added some chaos in every other aspect of life. Yeah, it derailed us pretty good there for the first. We didn't go on any of our dates.
Jo:No, we didn't.
Matt:I planned three or four throughout the year and the number of times we went like we actually went on like we had somebody watch the kids and we left the house and we had no date plan at all. Multiple times we just left the house and tried to figure out what to do, just left the house and tried to figure out somewhere to eat, and then try to figure out somewhere to kill a couple hours and then we went back home.
Jo:Yeah, we did a really bad job at that, so I do want to kind of recommit to that in the next year. Yeah, we got to figure out how to make it a game.
Matt:A game.
Jo:Yeah.
Matt:Add some novelty to it.
Jo:Yeah, well, just because I figure out who's winning.
Matt:Yeah 100%, we get a scoreboard. We can sell a scoreboard in our house.
Jo:I know I'm being really genuine Because I we're both bad at it.
Matt:If anyone's got a lead on a used scoreboard, I've got a plan for it.
Jo:We both, I feel like, don't care that deeply at the surface level of what the date looks like, but I do feel like if we were really putting the time into planning and trying new things and having fun experiences, our life would be better Like. I don't feel like I'm personally offended or upset that extravagant dates weren't planned or anything, nor you like. No, neither of us have that expectation.
Matt:We're kind of down for the ride.
Jo:But I feel like us not holding ourselves to that standard results in us have living a less pleasurable or enjoyable life. Yeah.
Matt:When we're both down for the ride, but nobody picks a ride.
Speaker 4:Yeah.
Matt:Then we just cruise around town for a couple hours and eat slims for dinner.
Jo:Which just isn't that enjoyable. It's fine, yeah, like both of us get home. We're like, well, that was fine, but it could be so much fun Multiple times what happened though, was like we had somebody watching the kids.
Matt:But it was on a day where we were both like I would love to just chill, yeah, at home, but we had somebody coming, so it was like, okay, we should get out of the house. And then we were like counting down until the kids went to bed and we could go home and hang out together. That's, that's really kind of how it went down. We do like to hang out.
Jo:Just at home together, but I like to go out and do stuff. Oh yeah, part of it is you don't like to go out to eat? Well, yeah, and the only activity outside of the house that like is your go to is to shop? Yeah, I guess that's true. Like you, don't drink coffee.
Matt:No.
Jo:You don't.
Matt:And you don't enjoy just going places and me watching you do these things. It's fine.
Jo:I was, yeah, it's fine, but it's it's not like you know, it's like, like.
Matt:Fun.
Jo:Well, it's not like we're sharing that thing, it's like you're observing me in my environment which is not fun for you. No, I'm not a zoo Uh animal. I was going to say uh no, uh, accommodations the word coming to mind in that attraction, thank you. Do you see how my brain works Like when I say that accommodation comes up but attraction doesn't do it Like. Does that give you insight into how reading might have been hard for me?
Matt:You just kind of slap some letters together.
Jo:Well, I think that I receive everything in patterns.
Matt:Okay.
Jo:Cause, like attraction and accommodation have a similar, like pattern to them. Yeah, and so they're in my head together. That's why I struggle with names.
Matt:Okay.
Jo:But I'll call people like the complete wrong name. But they are similar in their pattern. But it's not that I'm actually identifying the pattern, it's just my head Margaret and Madeline or something no. No, I don't have an example, or I would have used it.
Matt:Okay.
Jo:I was thinking of, like Ellis and I don't know.
Matt:Alice.
Jo:No, it's not similar at all. I was trying to think of names that are like really different, but now all I can think of is Ellis and Ellie, and nobody's confused about how I would get those messed up the single letter.
Matt:That's different, yeah.
Jo:Uh, like if my sisters weren't Ashley and Shelby, ashley and Shelby's one that I could definitely think I could get confused. Yeah, but those are my sister's names, so I don't get them confused.
Matt:Yeah, but they're both six letters. Okay, yeah.
Jo:All of our names are six letters and have a Y in them.
Matt:Yeah, you have a lot of those kind of things in your brain about like the quantity of letters and names.
Jo:I really I go back to it. I think that it's rooted in some kind of dyslexia.
Matt:Yeah, yeah, I've become more and more open to the idea, for sure.
Jo:Anyway, not that I was ever anti. I wasn't like deny, that's like no, it doesn't.
Matt:you've made it this far. It's kind of like when we talk about ASD or ADHD and people are like, well, how do I find out now? And it's like, what are you trying to get out of it?
Jo:Some people. It's important that they get it.
Matt:Yes, it can help you figure out resources and things, but in general a lot of times the label itself once you've reached a certain point.
Jo:I think that's so nuanced.
Matt:Okay, fair.
Jo:I think you're way over simplifying that.
Matt:Usually I am.
Jo:Yeah, 100% usually are.
Matt:That's the podcast game. You just oversimplify everything, right.
Jo:Yeah, you just say things in really triggering ways and then see who will engage with it, cut it for clips put it online.
Matt:Yeah, that's the move Winds, Winds, ws.
Jo:Ws Dubs. Okay, I watched a video on TikTok this week of some, I would say, like middle school aged girls telling their aunt all about like Gen Alpha or Gen Z, I don't know what they were slang and they were explaining to her W and Ls.
Matt:Okay.
Jo:Like they were like yeah, like W is like a win and L is like a loss, and in my head I was thinking are we conci what? Anyway?
Matt:Are they saying that's New slang, new slang?
Jo:That's their slang, so I thought that was interesting. I don't agree with that. Yeah, and they Gen Alpha's claiming Riz is theirs.
Matt:No, I mean.
Jo:I would think of that as more Gen Z. It's not millennial, I'm not saying that.
Matt:Yeah, yeah, yeah, I was gonna say it's not us Millennials like doggo and like I did a thing.
Jo:The bomb? No, I feel like that's more Gen X. The bomb, are you?
Matt:sure? Oh, I guess like the bombcom.
Jo:Yeah, puttingcom at the end of things.
Matt:Yeah, you're right. I was gonna say I think several of those no, you're so right, You're just forgetting that.
Jo:it was like middle school, high school. Yeah, yeah, yeah, you're so right.
Matt:Yeah, trying to think of other things that we would have said back then.
Jo:We can't say any of them because it was all horrible. That's not true, but yeah yeah, definitely there were a lot of things that guy remembered at the time being like Questionable. I don't know about that one.
Matt:Yeah yeah, there was a lot of things thrown around that weren't appropriate. For sure, I was trying to think of the more appropriate sling. The bomb was kind of what I came up with yeah, I can't think of anything else. I think Gen X would be more like boss.
Jo:Yeah, yeah, oh, interesting Girl boss, would be millennial, wouldn't?
Matt:it Sure, but like using bosses as an adjective, but girl boss sarcastically would be Gen Z right. It has a different definition across Gen's.
Jo:Yeah.
Matt:Pretty sure. Yeah, we've had to explain that to some people.
Jo:What do you mean? Our age Girl boss is like a negative when I'm like oh, she's very girl bossy and they're like that's good right and I'm like sure I didn't.
Matt:It's not not, but not really.
Jo:I'm like girl boss, too close to the sun and they're like what is happening.
Matt:Yeah, we use too much youthful slang.
Jo:Anyway.
Matt:Too online.
Jo:Tell me about your year. I want to know about 2023. You keep, you're avoiding your summary by just redirecting me, and it's working.
Matt:Oh man, it's been a challenging year. Just a bit of an identity crisis when our son was born, so that kind of put a couple months. I feel like that really backtracked me, like not only.
Jo:Not our son. Or if you're older and you're listening to this, not you.
Matt:No, no, no. It's just a mental crisis that I had as a result of having a son. It's not personal, it's fine. It's fine. There's no way he's going to go back and listen to like hundreds of podcast episodes. I was just laughing because I just like said that the way.
Jo:I did, yeah, you tried to defend it, and then you came back and were like no, exactly what I meant it's not as fault, and then you like. Well, I just had a mental breakdown in result to having a son. Yeah, I did, I did, I know.
Matt:It was too much pressure. Yeah, yeah, so, rory it's your fault. That's all I'm trying to say. I hope you feel responsible.
Jo:The way I would have said. It is probably along the lines of having another child, specifically a son, has really pushed you to identify things within yourself that you've struggled with.
Matt:Yeah, having kids will do that in general, like you have to, you have to be responsible, you have to. It gives you a mirror to look at yourself, and sometimes that's not what you want, even if it's what you need. So, yeah, there was a few months there that that was an identity crisis, and then I feel like we've just been trying to catch up. We've been doing a lot and Nothing at all.
Matt:Yeah, all at the same time. Yeah, the summer flew by, and then the fall. We had a bunch of activities too. No, what did we do? Why can't I remember the year? I'm really bad at this. This is, we've probably talked about it, but I'm very much in the moment, which mean, but I don't look backwards very well and I don't look forwards very well.
Jo:Do you feel like you're a really present person? It's not about being present, it's like oh, okay, what did you just repeat to me again what you said then?
Matt:In the moment so.
Jo:Okay, but in the moment it's not present.
Matt:Okay, okay, okay, okay. How am I going to describe this?
Jo:I don't know, but I'm looking forward to hearing.
Matt:I feel like being present is more about.
Jo:Participating.
Matt:Participating sure Like how much in the moment you're showing up. It's like a quality of how well you're being in the moment. But just because I'm not being in the moment well, like I'm not as present as I could be doesn't mean I'm not living in the moment. Does that make sense?
Jo:Absolutely not.
Matt:Okay, well, where am I living?
Jo:Yeah, do you want the?
Matt:answer to that question it's not the past, or the future Right. Yeah, where.
Jo:I don't feel like maybe you are in some ways.
Matt:Oh, I'm not living. Okay, so I'm dead.
Jo:It's not black and white, and you know it, and you're oversimplifying, okay, okay.
Matt:So I'm existing in the moment, not living in the moment.
Jo:I feel like you've had a very detached year.
Matt:Yes.
Jo:I've had a very depressed year.
Matt:Yeah, you've been improving.
Jo:I'm the Q4 this year has me shining bright man yeah there you go. I'm a happy girl.
Matt:Yeah, that's been good.
Jo:I think for both of us, postpartum was just I don't know. It's really interesting creating content and getting on a mic every week and being able to look back and listen through the things you had to say, through some of the most chaotic times of your life, because I'm not sure that in the moment throughout this year that I have really taken the time to think about where I am per se.
Matt:Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because I wouldn't say Especially, like I think, for doing the podcast for an hour a week. You can show up.
Speaker 4:For sure.
Matt:Especially if you've got some things to talk about and things to feed off of and things to react to, you can show up. Sometimes that was the most present hour of our weeks. That's sometimes. What's been great about doing the podcast is we can sit down and talk and have conversations that were too checked out to have other times. That's good. It's probably not always reflected here, which is good. You don't necessarily want the total, transparent reflection of people's mental states.
Jo:I've been thinking about it a lot because I was talking to a friend this week who was kind of criticizing a creator that she'd followed for quite some time that she really liked, and was describing that she didn't like where that creator had ended up and evolved into. I think that that's the really hard part about any kind of career content creation. It doesn't really matter what it is, where you're showing up consistently and it's so measurable with who you are personally, yeah yeah, I guess I can see that.
Jo:I would say creative careers in general Artists, musicians writers. Yes, exactly, I think that a writer who writes a movie that's really, really successful, everything they do from there on out, is then compared back to that old version of themselves. I kind of feel like that's unfair in some kind of way.
Matt:Yeah, it might not be fair, but it's a I don't think there's changing it. No, no, no, it's just a result of your success in some aspect or another. Yeah, yeah, it's not been a lost year, but it's been a checked out year for me.
Jo:Well, I feel like for me personally. I feel like in other years I have started with the year with goals and I accomplished them, or I make progress toward them at the very least. This year I kind of looked back on my list of all the goals that I had moving into this year and I really accomplished or made progress on very few of them.
Matt:Yeah, that is definitely odd for you.
Jo:I don't feel upset with myself about it.
Matt:No, no, it wasn't a year that lent itself to accomplishing huge, great things all over the place, but yeah, it's just been different. I've been doing a lot of work internally, which makes it hard to show results, I guess I agree with that. Myself. I know it's been a lot of processing and learning to regulate and all these things that don't look like anything from the outside, and so, as things go up and down, especially if you're really in your head, sometimes you're too in your head and that's where I've ended up.
Jo:That's a really interesting thought process for me because it made me realize like the outside world sees people at their like regulated state the most, because you're really only going to be showing your dysregulated self to people you feel safe around generally, like you're going to hide away when you're feeling that way, correct.
Matt:Just in any public setting, but especially doing content like you're not going to put your dysregulated moments up online.
Jo:Right, well, some people do. You can, but I mean that's I prefer to talk about them after instead of, uh, take you through the process with me. But I think it's really interesting from your perspective of what you just said, the thought of you recognize you've come really far because you're not pulling away in order to have those moments as often, but from the outside it still looks very much the same, like no progress is being made.
Matt:Yeah, Sometimes it feels like no progress is being made, but it definitely is happening. Things are. I react to things differently than I would have. I handle things better, but, uh, that really only shows up in the moments where you exercise it. Otherwise it doesn't look like anything.
Jo:Yeah, interesting.
Matt:Yeah, yeah. So, and again, I don't. My memory doesn't work well uncued I feel like you know.
Jo:I'm trying to make Matt a journal boy.
Matt:Probably should be. That's probably the only way I will track things and keep them in memory Well is if I have to write them down, cause that is that's what I had to do a lot in college. Taking notes is and not necessarily taking notes from, but I had to put things in my own words or copy them down and, uh, just the act of writing it and seeing it helped me a lot. I had to do that with lyrics too, like if I have to learn lyrics to a song, I'm much better off reading them. If I can see them and I know exactly what they are, I can learn a song quickly. But if I have to listen to it and just hearing wise, my auditory processing something about that is off, and that's why, again, it's good for me in conversations where I can run it back the sound, but it also means in the moment I'm not always getting everything.
Jo:So and that's how I like. That's probably my peak yeah.
Matt:Yeah, yeah, you're great at that.
Jo:I'm not necessarily as good at uh visual, visually processing information. I'm not bad.
Matt:Not even visual, but like written.
Jo:Yeah, yeah.
Matt:That's what I mean Words and letters Cause if you're dyslexia, you think Maybe.
Jo:I don't know.
Matt:I just I'm throwing things out there.
Jo:We're not qualified at all to uh assess this no, I and a couple of people that listened to the podcast have sent me interesting articles about the things that I've talked about experiencing with the way I process language and words and like, yeah, reading. But that's the thing is, I've always been such a big reader.
Matt:I don't think that that had ever been in front of mind, yeah, so I think the big thing we've been trying to do and we've been making a little bit of progress, especially these last uh few weeks and months is getting our space to a point where we can work better, and that's uh a space that supports us.
Jo:Yeah.
Matt:Like I need a place that I can work well, well, and so our office is what I had kind of hoped I could do that in, but it's been not very usable for a long time. So in the last week or two I've gotten it cleared out and now I can. It needs to be cleared out a lot more but to get it to a good spot and a clean spot where it's productive. But at least it can be worked in now and not feel like you're trapped inside of a hoarders box, all right.
Jo:My favorite part of the week.
Matt:All right. Favorite week Greg's. Greg's reads of the week.
Jo:Got it.
Matt:Oh my goodness, what just happened? Did not pick up on your segue.
Jo:We're a disaster, yeah. Greg's reads of the week Greg Greg.
Matt:Greg is your dad.
Jo:Greg Greg.
Matt:Greg reads a lot of news. He sends us articles. We read those articles or we don't read those articles. But we read the headlines in this segment and we rate them on one to five. How much anxiety the article title gives us. Correct. Sometimes it has a picture too, so that can play in.
Jo:Cells of people living in greener areas age more slowly, research finds.
Matt:Um one out of five.
Jo:I feel like we live in a pretty green place. So I'm like heck, yeah, zero out of five.
Matt:Yeah, I read a little bit of that one. Oh, you did, yeah. Yeah, it's counteracted by if there's like environmental contaminants.
Jo:So explain further.
Matt:Uh, it was talking about people who live in greener areas have whatever this cell thing is, but then if you live in a greener area that is also contaminated, it's talking about like a lot of lower income or um areas that have been trashed, so to speak. Okay, All those benefits counteract.
Jo:This CPA dad opened these investment accounts for his babies to amass millions. Here's how you can too, Uh four out of five.
Matt:This if for no other reason than you're like oh, what am I not doing?
Jo:You know, maybe like a two out of five, but these articles to me are always low key and furiating because, like I just went and looked at it, it's like per child just set aside $250 a month, which is great, but like if it's a family who has three kids. Like where are they getting almost $1,000 a month to set aside like? Just save $12,000 a year for your children.
Matt:Yeah, yeah.
Jo:I don't know. It seems a little dismissive to me.
Matt:Yeah, it's a little reductive.
Jo:Uh, but no major anxiety and like really cool to plan for your kids and save.
Speaker 4:No, no, no, if not against that, or you can do that. The better.
Jo:Uh, what's the deal with that cow? Oh, I said couch. What's the deal with that cough everyone seems to have right now. Question mark.
Matt:Uh, not, not any anxiety, I guess. Although apparently it's going around enough that, uh, there's an article about it, so we're not alone.
Jo:Yeah, I feel like our whole house is healthy now.
Matt:Yeah, we're, we're on the. I think we're through the woods, I don't even think we're on the up and up. I think we're just everybody's just good.
Jo:Yeah, okay, last one, and this this sparked conversation in our group text hunter gatherer children get a way more exercise than UK and US kids hunter, gatherer, children, uh huh, like from way back. I don't know. I didn't read the article. I just watched my like. I just read the messages that my sisters were sending.
Matt:Yeah, Give us a peek into the okay, okay.
Jo:My sister said so you're telling us you're starting Papa's homeschool at the farm and we should send our kids to you. Sounds good, we'll visit on weekends. Uh, and dad said no, that would not be hunter gatherer, that would be natural selection.
Matt:Okay.
Jo:Which was pretty funny. Anyway, I think it was all about just putting kids outside. Well, no, I think it's about like more independence for kids is better for them.
Matt:Got it, got it, think not a lot of anxiety, I guess.
Jo:No, no anxiety. Do you have a word of the week? Uh, word of the week, word of the week. We take a word, we use it. The week week.
Matt:Great Thanks. Wow, that's not a word. I knew I was looking up vocab words because, again, I did not prayer, but I found a word Yop, I don't know it. It's a noun and a verb. As a noun it's a loud, raucous noise and as a verb it's to make a raucous noise. So, um, cool.
Jo:Yop.
Matt:Yop, but that's not a noise.
Jo:Is it? Is it an old word Like do people actually use this? I?
Matt:have no idea.
Jo:She just kept yapping.
Matt:Her ready, energy and comical Galefort's Yop could command a larger theater.
Jo:Galefort's Yop.
Matt:This sounds like slang.
Jo:It really does.
Matt:Like this, are you sure?
Jo:it's not slang.
Matt:I don't know, maybe it is.
Jo:It said. It's appeared in two articles this year.
Matt:Origin Yulpan. Yeah, no, this is old. I had a different word that I wanted to do Familiar with the word melange.
Jo:Melange.
Matt:Yep. No or melange Boo Gonna have to listen to how that sounds.
Jo:Melange, melange.
Matt:Looks like melange.
Jo:No, it doesn't.
Matt:She can see this one so.
Jo:Uh yeah, it does not look like. It looks like melange. Melange, is that correct? Is it French?
Matt:I would guess so.
Jo:Yeah, I'm not a French origin.
Matt:Yep French origin for sure. Yeah, it's a mixture or a medley.
Jo:A melange. A mixture or a medley.
Matt:Melange.
Jo:Like a nothing. I got nothing.
Matt:A melange of.
Jo:Oreos.
Matt:Yeah, Oreos, you got different kinds of Oreos.
Jo:I guess yeah. A melange, the aisle had a melange of Oreos.
Matt:Yeah, Like trail mix, is a melange of Snacks. Nuts, and stuff Chocolate. This is terrible. We're crushing it. Well, on that note, Melange, melange, melange, melange, melange.
Jo:Well, we have a melange of voicemails to get to All.
Matt:right, let's make it. Melange it up, shall we.
Jo:I like that one.
Matt:Yeah, it's fun to say, if nothing else, it is.
Speaker 3:Hey guys, it's Sarah from Southeast Georgia in the United States. Nowhere fun, sorry, jo. I hope you guys have had an amazing holiday, in that you have celebrated all that you wanted with your family and that your new year is amazing. My question to you is in regard to having your own identity while being a parent. I have a 20 month old daughter and I'm currently two months pregnant with our second child and I guess I'm a little hesitant about going into it because I know I personally struggle with feeling like I don't have an identity outside of being a mom, and I'm not saying there's anything wrong with that.
Speaker 3:I love being a mom and I will probably wear the fact that I am a mom to the day I die. However, it is a bit disconcerting when I just feel like if anyone asked me what I like, what I don't like and everything like that, I can't answer a little bit, but I just I put all my intention and focusing and being a mom. That's just who I feel like I am. I'm a mom. That's all I can offer right now to anybody. But if you guys have like any similar experiences, you know either of you or if you had any advice. I just really appreciate the different perspectives. Thank you, guys.
Jo:I think we kind of talked about this last week a little bit.
Matt:Maybe a hair.
Jo:And here's the thing you said a 20 month old and you're two months pregnant. Mom is your identity right now. Yeah, like I'm not saying that all moms are is motherhood by any means, but when your kids are that little like right now I have a two and a half year old and a 10 month old they are in no way, shape or form independent, especially our littlest baby, like there's no independence there yet and that's normal. And I think that culturally it's so twisted because we expect moms to do it all, while also you know being completely independent and finding this identity and knowing who they are outside of motherhood, and I think there's space for both. But when your kids are little at least this is what I'm telling myself it's okay to be drowning in motherhood and to just have motherhood be your identity in those formative years of toddlerhood and babyhood. That is such a short season. It's kind of like how many college students do you know that you're like? Well, who are you outside of college? You know like.
Matt:It's a tough question if you ask anybody outside of whatever role they've been given.
Jo:But think about people like I think that's a really, really solid example I just gave yeah, it's like. Or high school students like who are you outside of? They're not going to be a whole lot outside of that because they are in their formative years of education, in college or in high school, and they're absorbed within that social sphere and they're spending those four years all in and we don't expect them to be something outside of that. And I kind of feel like early motherhood should be like that too. It's great if you are identifying with things outside of that, don't get me wrong. But the pressure we feel to feel like we have to be connecting with things outside of that, I think is really unnecessary. Like, you got time.
Matt:Yeah, I think it's a great goal to not have it be your total identity, but it's okay. If that's all you've got capacity for right now, it's probably the right way to. Yeah, I like that Because yeah, again, you can ask that of anybody. It's like somebody could ask me what am I outside of being an engineer and at times, out of that, answers and at times I wouldn't have. But it's okay. It all. Things will change, capacity will grow and shift and if you want to be something else, you'll be able to be something else at some point.
Jo:Yeah, I feel like 20 months is really hard too. Yeah, like not hard, like it's so much fun, but it is so demanding of your time and mental capacity, and so I feel like just it can feel really daunting, but it gets easier. They get older and it gets easier and more independence is fostered as they grow and change and I just you know what I mean.
Matt:Yeah, yeah, definitely, and we put a lot on moms to be everything.
Jo:So bad.
Matt:Yeah, that's kind of we act like it's mom's responsibility to do everything.
Jo:We don't just act like it, though. Like, even like in our home. I feel like I have an active partner that actively is having. The thought process of this shouldn't all be on mom, and still there are all kinds of things that fall on my shoulders because it is simply not being thought about.
Matt:Yeah, yeah, for sure.
Jo:Like men culturally, are not taught to actively think. Not about, because you don't have consequences when you don't actively think For sure. Because women have always stepped in for you.
Matt:Yeah, yeah, it's not, definitely not in the domestic sphere.
Jo:Right, yeah, I don't know. I think it's interesting.
Matt:It is.
Jo:Another voicemail.
Speaker 4:Hi, matt and Jo. I wanted to ask if you could bring any three objects with you on a deserted island. What would they be?
Matt:Okay, any three items.
Jo:Yeah.
Matt:Sometimes I feel like we need to prep for these.
Jo:I I'm assuming that nothing's going to get me in contact with someone.
Matt:Yeah, Like I think Sat phone yeah.
Jo:I thought, because that was my first thought.
Matt:Sat phone jet ski yeah. Take like a 25 gallons of gas.
Jo:Yeah, so not that kind of stuff.
Matt:Yeah, we probably shouldn't, I think like what you'd want, my Kindle. Okay, yeah.
Jo:And a.
Matt:Solar charger.
Jo:Yep, that's exactly what I was going to say A solar charger, my Kindle Like a stuffed Kindle.
Matt:Yeah.
Jo:Like I want like 128 gig Kindle just loaded down.
Matt:And a satellite uplink just to download.
Jo:And I think I'm going to go a lighter or matches.
Matt:Okay, yeah.
Jo:Actually I'm gonna go a rechargeable USB rechargeable, oh lighter. Because I have my solar.
Matt:Yeah, because you've got your little solar, because I don't know how Jokes on you you didn't bring any cables. Dumb, dumb, no, just.
Jo:I was assuming that it was one piece, sorry.
Matt:No, I was just joking.
Jo:I don't think I would be good at starting fires if I was trying to survive.
Matt:Yeah, I mean not having to. I think would be great. Yeah, like where your head's at something to start fires, maybe like a tarp. I feel like that would be good, so that you don't have to make your water proof.
Jo:I want my Kindle, though I don't care.
Matt:I want it there. Yeah, man, I don't know. I feel like you'd want like a tool, though I'm gonna want like a machete or something. You're not gonna go like a multi-tool, I feel like you're gonna go Like a little bit of multi-tool no, like they make bigger ones Like a jumbo multi-tool, like they make, like it has a machete in it that flips out.
Jo:Okay, I don't know about a machete, but I think that they make more substantial multi-tools, some kind of large survival tool. So I feel like, if you're gonna go that route, yeah, I don't know.
Matt:Yeah, I think I need something like that. I think I'm gonna go a tarp so that, like I can waterproof wherever I have to live, and then probably a volleyball that I can make my friend.
Jo:You're so silly.
Matt:No, I don't know. Hopefully it doesn't come to that. I think I feel like that, similarly to how I feel about, like, when people are like how are you gonna survive the zombie apocalypse, I'm like I don't, I'm not really looking to.
Jo:I wouldn't do well.
Matt:Yeah, if. In a post-apocalyptic world, what am I fighting to live for?
Jo:Yeah, I wouldn't do well.
Matt:Like it seems like if everything's gone. I don't, that's okay.
Jo:But like I don't know, I don't know, I get wanting to be there for your kids. Yeah, another voicemail.
Matt:But okay, we won't go there. Hi, Jo and.
Speaker 4:Matt, my name is Alma, I'm from Ohio. I left a voicemail a long time ago that got cut off and it's telling me right now that my mac duration, like for reporting, is 90 seconds. So I think I must have just talked for really long, which is very unbred for me. But I did want to follow up and say I am okay and nothing bad happened. That was my voicemail cut off. I don't know why it sent any waves, but that's okay. I really love your guys' podcast.
Speaker 4:I agreed with the woman in the last episode where she said that it's been nice to listen to you both part of him. I had my baby 10 weeks ago and we were in the thank you for a little bit, and now that I've finally caught up again with the podcast, I look forward to it every Wednesday. And yeah, and I'm glad you guys are taking a holiday break. But I also just wanted to say two things. I am in favor of Matt doing the TikTok series about getting themes out of laundry. I would follow that very closely. And then also Kali's mom that you guys talked about. I would love if you guys had her on the podcast, or even if you had someone that was great at parenting, because I would love to learn from a wonderful parent who has a child who turned out amazingly, because I'm a parent now and feel like getting over my head. But anyways, love you guys, you're doing a great job, thanks.
Matt:Oh, that was just nice.
Jo:That was so nice and I actually also congratulations to the postpartum. That's incredible. I have two parents that immediately came to mind when she said that that I would love to have on the podcast, and one I'm actually. I photographed her daughter's wedding. I'm not friends. Her daughter and I went to the University of Arkansas at the same time Like we were never friends or anything.
Jo:She's really cool. Like I liked her when I photographed her wedding. She was awesome, but her mom made such an impact on me and it seems from the outside looking in, that she has such a great relationship with her daughters. But I should probably like double check that.
Jo:I'm pretty confident that her daughters and her just have a fantastic relationship. But she's somebody I'd like to have and I'd love to have Callie's mom on Callie special. Callie actually sent me she listens to the podcast every week which tells you how special of a friend she is, because only a handful of people we know in real life like actually listen to the whole podcast each week, understandably.
Matt:Some of them yeah, I'm always surprised by the people that do.
Jo:Yeah, we have some really supportive, wonderful family and friends who listen each week and it means the world to us. And Callie is one of them and she sent me a really nice message after talking about her last week about how interesting it was to hear about me from her, to hear about her from my perspective while in college, and she actually let me know that she is now she's married. I mean, we're still friends, we still talk regularly. I'm making it sound like I don't know this about her. I do, but I'm giving you guys context. She's now married. She had her first child not too long ago and she's still, every Sunday morning, wakes up and they do their hour to clean of the entire house. She gets her husband up with her and they clean the entire house on Sundays and she said that that's really helped her to be able to relax and know that it's done and everything's done right, which really gives her the space and mental peace to enjoy her day off.
Matt:It totally makes sense. Some people are just better than other people.
Jo:Truly, callie is just better than the rest of us Better than us. She is like in every way, shape or form from the time I've met her. She is just better than the rest of us.
Matt:Yeah, I don't mean that in any kind of kind of setting she is filled different. That's just great.
Jo:How does that sound condescending?
Matt:I mean it no yeah, that's what I'm saying, but I'm not I don't mean it with any kind of anything. Yeah, that's just nice.
Jo:She's spectacular, she's always been spectacular. But, I think that's a fantastic idea. I love the idea of having some of those people on the podcast. I like the idea of interviewing people, not just that create content or have an audience. Oh, we might have a.
Matt:I locked it but it doesn't turning out. Locking it doesn't fix Geeze, responsible for an entirely different set of mental crises.
Jo:What You're right. Okay, our kids are the root of all of our problems.
Matt:Yeah, before kids we were perfect.
Jo:Don't you think that that's what a lot of parents think, though I think there are definitely.
Matt:I think it happens a lot to people who weren't prepared to have kids and didn't plan to have kids.
Jo:Do you think that it's just like that romanticization, that like it gives something?
Matt:to put blame on People, do that with everything.
Jo:I know they do, but I feel like kids is such an easy.
Matt:Yeah, kids are an easy thing to blame for you.
Jo:Right, but they literally like. I don't know anyway, just a thought.
Matt:But yeah, there's always like, oh well, when I get a different job, when I make more money, when I we move to this place, things will be different. When I have a little farm, when I'm off the grid, Yep, exactly, and it turns out your mental health issues are inside of you and they travel with you, regardless of who's around you or where you go.
Jo:Sometimes, when people are still struggling, when they get to the place they thought was going to fix it, then they get extra angry and bad.
Matt:Oh yeah, yeah, that can and like. Sometimes it gives you a temporary relief and that's where a lot of people, I think, get like, they chase that and they're like, okay, when I got that promotion and then I was good, but then I, you know, it turns out I was still depressed or whatever. So now I need another promotion.
Jo:You need a bigger promotion, or whatever it is Exactly. It wasn't enough Interesting. Okay, last voicemail of this week of the year. Oh my goodness.
Speaker 5:Hi, my name's Taylor and I'm calling from Massachusetts. I hope you all are gearing up for a great 2023 holiday season. I just wanted to share two things, the first being that I have love listening to your podcast this year. I found it earlier this year while I was working through some really tough art projects in school. I'm an art major in college and so thank you so much for getting me through that. I have love listening to your content this year.
Speaker 5:My second thing is more directed toward Jo, but I just wanted to express my gratitude for your ability to lead through your values on the internet and just to present such a genuine nature. I feel like those things are sometimes really hard to find online and I know sometimes on the podcast, you like speak down about yourself because you don't understand something or because you think Matt will say something more articulate, but I just really really appreciate you. I feel like what you're doing is wonderful. I appreciate how you're willing to share so much of your life and also willing to speak on topics that are harder or more sensitive. So thank you so much for being here, thank you for putting that kind of stuff out in the world, because I think we definitely need more of it, and thank you for talking about neurodiversity in such a calm and informative way. It makes it really nice to listen to as someone who's also ADHD. Have a wonderful holiday season and I can't wait for more oversharing in 2024. Bye.
Matt:You okay.
Jo:I'm a Karai.
Matt:Yeah, I was going to say that was very nice.
Jo:You're very well spoken.
Matt:I was going to say very articulate.
Jo:I'm like you should have a podcast. I quit, let's give the podcast to her.
Matt:Yeah, we're going to. Actually, we're going to go to our Massachusetts correspondent who's just going to do podcasts for us now.
Jo:I'm not well, that was so nice, that was really nice. We don't listen to the voicemails before yeah, we don't screen anything. I don't know if you guys have picked up on that from how we're always surprised and not prepared. I thank you so much. Sometimes you need to hear things like that. Yeah, that's good, and that's very affirming and kind. I doing the podcast.
Matt:DM some art projects to us or something.
Jo:Oh yeah, I would love to see, I'd love to hear about what kind of artist you are and what you create.
Matt:Send them to the pod or Jo.
Jo:Yeah, I the podcast has been such a privilege to get, to get to know you all. On a longer format, yeah, where we can speak more vulnerably, I think is how I want to describe it yeah, and.
Matt:I thought you were going to say more eloquently no, definitely not as you spoke the slowest sentence you've ever come up with.
Jo:I don't think I'll ever consider myself somebody that's eloquent, but I think that social media is such an interesting space and I feel like the podcast world is such an interesting space and I think there are a lot of voices, and there are a lot of voices that are very loud and there are some that that volume can feel really inspiring in the initial like yeah, phases, and it doesn't always stay like that, and so I really hope that our space here we may not be loud and we may not market ourselves well and we may not, you know, spend tons of time really being articulate and eloquent.
Matt:No.
Jo:But I hope that each and every one of you that chooses to tune in each week goes away feeling seen.
Matt:Yeah, yeah, hopefully we're answering things you want to hear. Hopefully we're talking about things that are, if not interesting, at least you know good to listen to. So if there are things episodes you want us to do, I think that's a great thing for the next couple of weeks. While we're off, still DMS questions, send us voice mails Anytime. We have a backlog of those kind of things, it's great. If nothing else, it means we can do a whole voicemail email kind of episode. So send all that stuff in.
Jo:I'm trying to become a better person in 2024 and post more on Oversharing. Well, yeah, the new year and the better people.
Matt:That's like. That's our thing yeah, once it's 2024, we'll be different, correct, and so while we're different, we're going to do everything right.
Jo:Correct. Yeah, oh my gosh, I'm dying. I just would like to do, before we exit, a follow up, because the caller from last week's Christmas tree nightmare not really nightmare just mishaps about how they go to all the different Christmas tree farms and Matt and I were like we would. No, it wouldn't work. We wouldn't have a Christmas tree because we couldn't go to four.
Matt:Yeah, she's married into the or married or boyfriend, whatever it was Married, I think Married into the Griswold family.
Jo:Yeah, and I'd like to let everybody know because I know you guys are on the edge of your seats that the Christmas tree this year was found at the first farm and they found it immediately. It's a Christmas miracle.
Matt:Wow. She sent pictures, so that's kind of fun. It's a beautiful end of the year.
Jo:Yeah, truly.
Matt:Save yourself. I can't imagine going to 10 places.
Jo:No, I would That'd be the end of me, especially since I can't tell the difference. Wow, oh, and Hozier is like cozier.
Matt:Cozier, hozier, hozier.
Jo:Hozier, I was right.
Matt:All right.
Jo:I didn't know.
Matt:Look at that, guys. We'll even follow up on your emails.
Jo:Yeah, I'm going through all the DMs that I hadn't seen so Smart. I really want to do better at posting on the oversharing page. Yeah.
Matt:Yep.
Jo:I feel bad ever complaining because I'm so fortunate to do what I do and I don't want it to sound like I just have not done the best job. I've overextended myself on the posting to platforms, sure.
Matt:Yeah, and I'm working on building a structure for me that will help me reliably post to platforms.
Jo:Yeah, I think we can be a little shorter than most, because I think we're about wrapped and I don't know that we have much else to say.
Matt:But we love you guys. Yeah, we've said everything we can say this year.
Jo:We love you guys so very much. We're so grateful. We hope that you have wonderful, happy holidays. We will be back in the new year, January. I need to look at a calendar so I don't tell you the wrong date. We will be back January 10th.
Matt:Yeah.
Jo:And until then, happy holidays. We love you guys.
Matt:And send everything in that you want answered or listened to, or if you just want to tell us nice things, yeah.
Jo:Sometimes we need that. I can cry some more on the podcast.
Matt:Yeah, yeah, that's usually my job.
Jo:Love y'all. Bye, okay, that's just long. See you next time.