We start this week with a discussion of books and a "Puck Slut" sticker that was inspired by some of Jo's recent favorite books. We also recap of two weeks of fun, chaos, and hosting, and we follow all that up with all the usual segments. Greg's Reads this week launch us into a discussion of therapy and generational differences between parents their children. And after we tackle the sensitive topics of food, body image, and the evolving landscape of gender identities, we get to voicemails and emails from the listeners.
We talk breakups, wearing shoes indoors, and how time reshapes our views on ourselves - so tune in for an episode that promises not just a potential good read but also a good think and a good laugh.
If you've got a voicemail or want our (likely unqualified) advice on something, hit us up at the Speakpipe link below!
http://www.speakpipe.com/oversharingwiththeoverbys
If you'd like to email us you can reach the pod at oversharing@jojohnsonoverby.com!
CONNECT:
TikTok: @jojohnsonoverby / @matt.overby
Instagram: @jojohnsonoverby / @matt.overby
Website: https://jojohnsonoverby.com/
Watch the Podcast: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL29Si0ylWz2qj5t6hYHSCxYkvZCDGejGq
We start this week with a discussion of books and a "Puck Slut" sticker that was inspired by some of Jo's recent favorite books. We also recap of two weeks of fun, chaos, and hosting, and we follow all that up with all the usual segments. Greg's Reads this week launch us into a discussion of therapy and generational differences between parents their children. And after we tackle the sensitive topics of food, body image, and the evolving landscape of gender identities, we get to voicemails and emails from the listeners.
We talk breakups, wearing shoes indoors, and how time reshapes our views on ourselves - so tune in for an episode that promises not just a potential good read but also a good think and a good laugh.
If you've got a voicemail or want our (likely unqualified) advice on something, hit us up at the Speakpipe link below!
http://www.speakpipe.com/oversharingwiththeoverbys
If you'd like to email us you can reach the pod at oversharing@jojohnsonoverby.com!
CONNECT:
TikTok: @jojohnsonoverby / @matt.overby
Instagram: @jojohnsonoverby / @matt.overby
Website: https://jojohnsonoverby.com/
Watch the Podcast: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL29Si0ylWz2qj5t6hYHSCxYkvZCDGejGq
Welcome to Oversharing with Overbees. I'm Jo. And I'm Matt, and each week you can tune in to hear us respond to your voicemails, go in-depth on our lives as content creators and hopefully leave you feeling even better than we found you.
Speaker 2:With that being said, let's get to Oversharing.
Speaker 1:Matt added a sticker for me to my mic.
Speaker 2:I just found it on the table. It's cute.
Speaker 1:Maybe a little customization, yeah, you want to tell everybody what it says, or no? Are you just going to leave it at that?
Speaker 2:uh, you got it from uh, a person who writes your books, right?
Speaker 1:my books but writes books. It was sent to me in a book package.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah so your hockey books right yeah, I read everything you know about hockey that's not true.
Speaker 1:You know something I don't like. What Is like? Matt really latches on to things that I'm insecure about and really unintentionally rides it home.
Speaker 2:I was going to say I wasn't aware of your insecurity about hockey knowledge.
Speaker 1:That's not what it is. Okay now. I don't even like where this conversation is going. That's a good start.
Speaker 2:It only took what?
Speaker 1:15 seconds into the podcast no, no, no, it's just like I don't know yeah, I don't like it when people make fun of me just as a whole. I love a good sports romance book I really do and matt really thinks that's funny.
Speaker 2:It's fine.
Speaker 1:I don't know enough about them to judge it it makes perfect sense to me because it feels a lot more ethical than like a billionaire romance book.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:You know, Well, usually of age, the problem with romance books as a whole is like you kind of have to take all normal problems off the table for it to be real romanticized.
Speaker 2:Well, yeah.
Speaker 1:And so everybody has to have fat salaries, and there's only so many ways to explain that. You know.
Speaker 2:I'm sure it makes writing the book a little simpler if you're like well, okay, they, they don't have like regular obstacles. Right, exactly 75% of the book is not dedicated to them going to work. Right, so anyway, the book is not dedicated to them going to work Right, so that's nice.
Speaker 1:Anyway, the sticker says Puck Slut. Yeah, it came in my package. I didn't know what I was going to do with it. I couldn't give that one to Gardner, so yeah.
Speaker 3:I really do like her books.
Speaker 1:Becca Mack is the author and it's the Playing for Keep series yeah, you've been a big fan. Yeah, the author and it's the playing for keep series yeah, you've been a big fan. Yeah, but I really like her. Like she's wonderful. The author is just, she's very empowering and enlightening and I like her as a person. I think she hits a lot of really real topics, while also like her reads being really enjoyable.
Speaker 1:But I reread them because JC decided to read them my best best friend and I read them. So I read the first book of the series because my sister wanted me to read it and I really enjoyed them and what stuck with me was the storyline. It's very found family. The characters are hysterical. They make me laugh out loud when I'm reading the books. And by the third book, like you know the entire friend group really well and it's just, they're fun reads. And when I went back to reread them a year later with JC, I had no idea they were as uh smutty as they are. Yeah, which, like I don't care, like that's great with me, whatever.
Speaker 1:Like but I was like, oh, I need to be careful about cause, like when I was recommending it. I was thinking of the storyline, you know, yeah, you enjoyed the characters. I really enjoyed the way that she developed the characters. I I think that they're funny and fun and light and while also hitting some real topics. And uh, but I they're long books and they are. They are not short on the on the spice. So, oh, good stuff, whoops good stuff, who knows who?
Speaker 1:I've recommended those two, not thinking about that yeah, you definitely have my problem your go-to recommendations for a while my problem is I do not like, I don't notice yeah, it doesn't stick with you not at all. Yeah, uh like. And the thing is, I can read a book and people are like, was it smutty or not? I'm like I don't know, unless it had something like really wild. Yeah, Most of the time I'm like I am not sure.
Speaker 2:But by the time not immediately done reading it, but like yeah, but if somebody is like oh, you've read this and it was a while ago.
Speaker 1:Well, the sex is not what sticks with me at all. If the smutty parts are the parts that are sticking with me, it probably wasn't that good of a read.
Speaker 2:Fair.
Speaker 1:Is my thought.
Speaker 2:Fair. You're a characters and conversations person.
Speaker 1:A hundred percent.
Speaker 2:That's always what stands out to you.
Speaker 1:One hundred percent In my secondhand experience. But it's funny because, like I read a ink a fate inked in blood, I think is what it's called and it's like a newer fantasy book that just came out and I read that last month and somebody had told me they're like, oh, it is so like there's so much sex in it and was like okay. So I like mentally prepared myself, I'm like okay, smutty book. Got it and I was like 70 in and nothing had happened. I was like I think we're reading different books yeah, was it backloaded?
Speaker 1:no, not at all okay. There was one scene.
Speaker 1:The entire book which was fine that's not why I picked it out. Do you know what I mean? So it wasn't a big deal. But I texted the it was a friend's mom who had said that, and so I texted the friend. I was like wrong, wrong, it's not loaded up with. I mean it was a romance. And she texted me back. She's like I don't think my mom's ever read a romance book before Got it. What have you been doing for the last week and a half? You've been kind of busy, right? Yeah, we've had a. Honestly, the last three weeks have been bananas and really good though.
Speaker 2:Yeah, lots of fun stuff.
Speaker 1:Really good bananas. I have not felt too stressed or overwhelmed about all of it. So I was in California. I took my longest trip ever away from the kids. My friend Anna launched her first swimwear collection with PacSun and we had so much fun, truly, we had the best week. Anna was, I mean, abundantly kind to all of us and really spoiled everybody that went out there, yeah, and we just had a really good time together. It was a fun, very. I mean, it was all about having a good time, truly, and so that was great. And then my flight landed. Matt picked me up at the airport and we drove back, and his cousins arrived within 15 to 20 seconds of us pulling into the driveway. They beat us home.
Speaker 2:Yeah, they just pulled into the driveway and we drove back and his cousins arrived within 15 to 20 seconds of us pulling into the driveway. They beat us home. Yeah, they just pulled into the driveway and we followed them in.
Speaker 1:Yep, and so then we were with them for the solar eclipse which was really cool, and today is our first day of not traveling or having people in our home. In what three weeks, I guess?
Speaker 2:so yeah, it's been that long.
Speaker 1:It's been that long. I am a really tired girl. Yeah, like a very tired girl. I have gotten very little sleep the last week and a half, so if I say something crazy, that's the fault.
Speaker 2:Should we rebrand this podcast Under Sleeping with the Overbeats.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that sounds. Yeah, I mean, why not Okay?
Speaker 2:It just feels like unbranded for us right now. You feel like we're talking about our sleep too much Somehow. Every week it happens Although this one you've been really going but otherwise our kid typically just sabotages us the day before recording day.
Speaker 1:I don't feel like I've been this. I don't know, maybe You've been really going.
Speaker 2:This is not a one night of poor sleep. This is a week and a half two weeks of under sleeping.
Speaker 1:Yeah, While I was in California, I did not sleep enough period, yeah, which was my fault, my fault only but it was worth it. I really I had a fantastic time. I got to meet some really incredible women and I got to meet some women that I have followed online for a long time, and that part was really cool. Um, it was just, it was a lot of fun.
Speaker 2:Yeah, how's the. But what'd you think of the eclipse? You said it was just, it was a lot of fun yeah, how's the eclipse?
Speaker 1:but what'd you think of the eclipse? You said it was cool. But see, we've already like, I did the eclipse last time when it came. It was really cool both times. I mean it is, it's wild yeah, we were.
Speaker 2:We didn't quite get totality. At our place we were about an hour north of where it was totally eclipsed, so did you see total eclipse lapse time.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I'm like we could have traveled, but we didn't.
Speaker 2:No, the amount of traffic that was out even my family that traveled here who had planned to drive like another hour or two further the day or two before. They looked at like the state of emergency that our state declared and all kinds of stuff about like hey's going to be 2 million extra cars on the road, so watch out. And they're like I think 99.2% is pretty good.
Speaker 1:Well, part of it was that Arkansas was the peak for totality.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Yeah, like it. So about an hour and a half South of us was the peak totality of like four minutes and 25 seconds of totality, like across the whole path. Yeah, and so, like NASA was in Russellville, like everyone was in Arkansas for it Gotcha and uh, it was a big deal. Andansas is obviously not used to traffic like that no for anything ever.
Speaker 2:We don't usually bring in that many people. There's only a couple million people in the state all together did you see the airbnb map?
Speaker 1:no, and that was crazy to look at, is like the map of what airbnbs are typically booked and you like see the little dots and stuff. It was like the whole country, uh. And then it showed what was booked for the eclipse and there's just a strip of like it's lit up in the path of the eclipse right down the line yeah that's cool.
Speaker 1:A lot of people said they booked their airbnbs early and then they got their uh reservations dumped, because the people like dumped what reservations they had and then put it back up more expensive because they didn't know.
Speaker 2:I'm like that's crummy. Yeah, that's kind of lame.
Speaker 1:But anyway, what do you think?
Speaker 2:I thought it was cool. I again, I also experienced the 2017 one and got to see the whole total eclipse. So that was cool. Um, so I'd seen it before, but it was. It was fun to have our kids and well, only one of our kids even kind of looked at it, and I gotta say yeah, he did. He slept through it and I don't think he was going to.
Speaker 1:I didn't want him to be out there because I had a fear that he was going to stare at the sun. That really stressed me out, with both of our kids. Yeah, you were on high alert for cornea burns. How bad would that be that you, as a kid, I don't know that you would blind at like two. Yeah.
Speaker 2:Partially blind or whatever it is, or have permanent vision problems because I know it's not likely, but still. Yeah, I mean the president did it a while ago, yeah, and I think he can still see Maybe.
Speaker 2:But just going out can't actually see how funny would that be, just missing like the middle of the vision. But yeah, it was really. The biggest task was making sure that she kept putting her glasses on. Not that she was trying to look at the sun either, but but you just, especially when everybody was like oohing and aahing over it, I was like, hey, glass, glasses, hey, hey, nope, you got, you got to keep them on. She kept wanting to put them on her knee, yeah, and I was like your knee is fine, your knee's not gonna go blind.
Speaker 2:Your knee is sun proof. Your knee actually is already blind. There's no vision from your knee. She played pickleball yesterday. That was the more fun thing. I don't think she's going to remember the eclipse. She might remember pickleball.
Speaker 1:What's fun is what the next one's in 20 years.
Speaker 2:Is that what it is? 2040? Something like that.
Speaker 1:Our kids will be a fun age to do it next time, cause there'll be grown.
Speaker 2:Yeah, they can travel back home for it. Maybe Right, we'll see, or no, are we just?
Speaker 1:assuming they're going to live far away from us. I don't know. I mean, that's probably a fair assumption. I'd want to get away from me too.
Speaker 2:I think it's better to assume that than to be surprised by it. Yeah, you're right.
Speaker 1:You're right. Okay, what else is going on? Do you have a word of the week for me? Word of the week Word of the week. Word of the week.
Speaker 2:Let's look. Are you familiar with the word tenuous?
Speaker 1:Is it similar to tedious?
Speaker 2:It has most of the same letters, but no tenuous, tenuous, tenuous Okay. No, but no, tenuous, tenuous, tenuous, okay, no. Tenuous means lacking substance or significance, affording no ease or reassurance, very thin engage or diameter. I'm not here to use that, but uh tenuous having a thin consistency, so like shaky okay like you have a tenuous grasp on spelling.
Speaker 1:What would it mean if I say I feel tenuous? It wouldn't, it wouldn't mean anything.
Speaker 2:I feel you feel like you're lacking substance or significance. I don't know. I've never heard it used that way, but I think it technically works.
Speaker 1:Okay, tenuous, I think it technically works. Okay, tenuous, I like that. Yeah, somebody DM'd me and said that they got to use oh shoot, one of our words.
Speaker 2:Yeah, dang it, I can't remember, I hate words yeah, Again a tenuous grasp on the English language.
Speaker 1:It's so bad. You do your best. I'm horrible.
Speaker 3:You work hard at it.
Speaker 1:I don't understand why nothing sticks.
Speaker 2:For words.
Speaker 1:I've been having more and more experiences though in the last year where I'm like I really think I'm dyslexic.
Speaker 2:You might be.
Speaker 1:Like I I genuinely do, Like I don't know A lot of things.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Anyway, you going to be okay.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I'm going to be okay.
Speaker 3:All right Well.
Speaker 1:I'm sad about me not seeing letters correctly, that's okay, You'll.
Speaker 2:Well, I don't know that that'll ever change, but yeah.
Speaker 1:Bad dad mean mom, mean mom, as mean mom left for five nights, yeah, mean mom was gone last week. Yeah, that's really Bad dad.
Speaker 2:There was a day where we mostly ate cereal. That might not have been dad's finest I would prefer not to know that for sure. Finest dadding it was by request, but still, you know, could have done a better job there for sure. But everybody made it. Everybody was happy with the food, even if you know, nutritionally it wasn't the most diverse.
Speaker 1:Did you have cereal as well?
Speaker 2:No but.
Speaker 1:Now, that's messed up. You made yourself three whole nutritious meals and you fed them cereal no.
Speaker 2:I made myself two meals that were medium nutrition at best, that's for sure.
Speaker 1:Bad dad, yeah, bad dad trophy. Okay, You're acting like I prepared a full Matt he told me he prepared himself a four-course meal for breakfast, lunch and dinner and then only offered the kids cereal. That's what you told me.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it was a full day with 12 courses that I prepared for myself.
Speaker 1:While watching two children. Well, I was really busy.
Speaker 2:That's why I had all the cereal Right. I had a lot of food I was making for me, obviously. Yeah, no, generally it was good though. It was a fun week with the kids and then we had our you know, the usual help, so that made a big difference, especially so it was really just a few, few hours a day where I had both of them full on.
Speaker 2:But, um, yeah, no, it went really well. But you know, I do bedtime a lot with them. I do bedtime a lot with them, I do food a lot with them, so it wasn't a huge shift. They were definitely missing their mom. After a couple days they were like hey, you're great, but um, where's mom? Yeah, toddler especially, was like hey, dad, I don't like what you're telling me right now about bedtime, or you know not eating yeah candy, like the amount of candy that you're cutting me off at.
Speaker 2:I don't care for that. Where's mom? I'd like to ask her about candy. I'd like to ask her about not going to bed. That's funny Because she knows she can suck her mom A good cuddle.
Speaker 1:That's true. She comes out of bed, that's true.
Speaker 2:You that's true, she comes out of bed, that's true. It's 10 o'clock at night, but mom's on the couch. Yeah, she comes in there crying telling mom that she wants to cuddle. She's going to get five to 10 minutes of cuddling for sure. Absolutely yeah, that's true.
Speaker 1:She won't do that forever.
Speaker 2:Mom will never send her back to her room, right?
Speaker 1:away.
Speaker 2:No, no, that's much more the person who sees the camera move and walks to the hallway and is like back to bed.
Speaker 1:A snuggle wins me over every time. Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:I don't know what that says about me, but you, just you know you're starved for affection. You think?
Speaker 2:Yeah, you're partnered with me, so that's probably just true.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I don't think that's true at all.
Speaker 2:Yeah, has Greg been reading this week?
Speaker 1:Greg has been reading.
Speaker 2:He's got some articles. We've been a little thin on Greg's Reads of the Week, so hopefully he's got some knowledge to drop on us.
Speaker 1:Oh, he's been reading. Oh, okay.
Speaker 2:Read it up.
Speaker 1:Yeah, this is Greg's.
Speaker 2:Reads of the Week. He sends us articles that he reads and thinks are relevant to us and we rate those articles one to five. How much anxiety the titles give us.
Speaker 1:This is hilarious.
Speaker 2:Perfect.
Speaker 1:Study says venting about your problems isn't actually the best way to reduce anger. Here's what to do instead.
Speaker 2:Would you believe, my therapist also sent me that article.
Speaker 1:Wait, really For real, that's funny.
Speaker 2:She must also read Apple news Wait really For real.
Speaker 1:That's funny. She must also read Apple News. Wait, seriously, 100%. It gives me no anxiety. It did give me a really good giggle.
Speaker 2:Yeah, like a one out of five.
Speaker 1:Yeah, very, very little, it makes sense to me that that, especially since I think she beat him to the punch. Yeah, yeah, honestly, I feel like I do pretty well with that yeah, you're not a like you have anger, but it's not. You're not a big vented out, explode kind of gal no, I right, I experience anger in the capacity that, like all human beings experience anger, but I don't really process through anger.
Speaker 2:No, no, that's not how you work through things. No that's nice.
Speaker 1:I tend to stay pretty calm. Well, I mean I'm, I have my own stuff.
Speaker 2:Yeah, anger is my most readily available emotion, so sometimes it's like you're sad when I'm a run it through anger.
Speaker 1:First See how that feels, just to see if it feels better.
Speaker 2:It's not constructive. So true, yeah, it's not good.
Speaker 1:All right, five money moves that will make you rich, according to a survey of 10,000 millionaires.
Speaker 2:I guess a three out of five.
Speaker 1:Oh really.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I don't know, Money moves being rich.
Speaker 1:It just it seems like a lot. It didn't really. One out of five.
Speaker 2:Make more, spend less are those two of them.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I can read them to you because they have them in headlines. So make a plan. Spend less. Look for deals. Make a budget stay in control of your money.
Speaker 1:All right, yep, those are all good. I mean, it's not like that's all it says. They have paragraphs underneath that go into further detail. But the thing is, I actually had a really wonderful conversation with someone, a woman, at the airport in LA when I was on my way out, and she was talking about how she was 25, and she did not have access to financial education and financial literacy, and so she's had to teach herself a lot of things, and she was talking about books that she's read, and it was really cool for me to get to have a conversation and listen from her perspective, because I give Gregory a tough time because he sends us so many articles like this, but there are so many people that don't have access to this information, and, while it may seem repetitive to us just because we have heard it, it's out there because so few people have others talking to them about it, and so I do think it's valuable.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, and even the stuff that seems intuitive. But it's good to have it really laid out and thought about step-by-step. I can understand it, but All right.
Speaker 1:Next article five issues with their parents that Gen Z brings up most in therapy.
Speaker 2:Um, uh, we're millennials for one, but uh, I guess a two out of five that doesn't give me a ton of uh, ton of anxiety, but lay a couple on us.
Speaker 1:Okay.
Speaker 2:Just out of curiosity.
Speaker 1:No anxiety for me Made me giggle. I was like Greg's really doing it this week. I like the articles he's sending. Push back over screen time.
Speaker 2:Interesting. Okay, yeah, this is definitely Gen Z, like a younger generation Inability to problem solve without a parent's help.
Speaker 3:Different perspectives on higher education, younger inability to problem solve without a parent's help.
Speaker 1:Huh, different perspectives on higher education, language around food and body image oh, that checks out.
Speaker 2:That one, I think, is one of the first that's really resonated like for our generation as well A lack of understanding about their gender and sexual identities. Yeah, yeah, the last two you listed were definitely ones that follow much more for our generation as well. As Z Screen time for us was we barely had screens.
Speaker 1:I feel like differing perspectives on higher education was applicable too.
Speaker 2:I feel like it's applicable now though.
Speaker 1:I feel like it was applicable. Well, you're right, maybe, maybe, yeah, yeah, yeah, I just feel like we kind of both wanted to go to school, so we didn't have a yeah, I think.
Speaker 2:I just think we about food and body image. That's huge.
Speaker 1:I think that's something that we really face with both of our parents, and not even from a. I don't even think that it is in the way like when you think of like an almond mom. Sure, I don't think that it's even necessarily in that way. I think, generationally, just the way that they talked about food and the way that they were raised around food is very negative.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, it's a very adversarial relationship. Yeah, and I know for us a lot of it wasn't directed at us so much, yeah, I agree. You just take a lot of it in when you see it.
Speaker 1:A hundred percent.
Speaker 2:Like when you see your parents talk certain ways about themselves or other people, you internalize it, and so I don't have the best relationship with food for sure. But so be it. Working on it.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and the gender identities and sexualities Interesting to me because I don't really understand the difficulty with it. What do you mean? I don't really understand the difficulty with it.
Speaker 2:What do you mean?
Speaker 1:I don't have that with my parents. You would think that because we're a little bit older and it's talking about Gen Z, that our parents would be even more uh rigid or rooted in it. Yeah, and I feel like both of our families are fairly.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah. We're also not very like exciting on the gender.
Speaker 1:No, not at all, but I do feel like we welcome all kinds of people into our lives and talk about people who have all different perspectives and identities and experiences, and I don't feel like that's ever been flagged or questioned with our parents. Yeah, yeah, but I feel like that's a privilege.
Speaker 2:Definitely, definitely is. That's not a universal experience.
Speaker 1:Right.
Speaker 2:But our personal identities are pretty.
Speaker 1:Boring, pretty, boring, yeah, yeah For sure, straight, white, unexciting. Yeah, educated, yeah, no, not really um all great things, all great things should we hit some voicemails? I know we have emails, so voicemails of the week voicemails of the week oh, thanks, babe, you never finish my things. Yeah, I appreciate that Voicemail number one.
Speaker 3:Voicemail number one. Hi, Joe and Matt. My name's Paige. I'm originally from Windsor, Ontario, the city that borders Detroit, Michigan, but I moved to Sydney Australia, I don't know like two years ago. My question is kind of weird, but I watch your OOTDs on like Instagram and TikTok and I always see you guys wearing shoes in them. I know it's a big thing for Americans and Australians to wear shoes in their house. However, for us Canadians, it's a big no-no to wear shoes in the house, Don't know why, Just a thing. So one of my Australian friends come over to our house, they're like weirded out that they have to take off their shoes. Anyways, I was just wondering what your opinions are about wearing shoes inside the house Because, like I know, in the wintertime you have to take them off because of snow and you don't want to check snow and mud throughout your house. But anyways, I feel weird hearing my voice when I listen to the next podcast. Have a great day. Lots of love from Sydney, Australia.
Speaker 1:We don't get snow that way, Not often. Like you don't have to worry about tracking that stuff into the house Not that you don't have to worry about tracking dirt into the house. Also, I don't wear shoes in the house. I put on shoes for our OOTD.
Speaker 2:Yeah, because a lot of times they're like on our way out places.
Speaker 1:Yeah, but I actually don't wear shoes in the house, matt, but I married somebody that can't function without shoes on, but you have house shoes.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I try to wear a certain set of shoes in our house. One I've got very high arches and so we have a slab home construction, which means it's concrete and then you know, like a slight cushion, then the wood. But uh, it's very hard, and when I have very high arches standing for any period of time in our house, uh, my feet hurt a lot but, more importantly, my brain stops working If I take my shoes off. It's an ADHD thing. Taking my shoes off signals to my brain that it's time to kick back and relax, and that's not a good habit. So I keep my shoes on most of the day because I need to get stuff done, and if I take my shoes off, my productivity falls by about 80%.
Speaker 1:I take my shoes off at other people's houses though the moment. I walk through the door. I take my shoes off every time.
Speaker 2:I totally respect taking the shoes off and I think it's really probably the right way to be 100%. Because in general, your shoes go walk all over who knows what, especially if you live in a city. There's some pretty gnarly stuff out there.
Speaker 1:We don't really go anywhere.
Speaker 2:Not never. Most of what we could track in is dirt. We don't live in a high-traffic city or an especially grimy place, so there's not a lot. We track in with our regular shoes, the outdoor.
Speaker 1:But our dogs are already bringing outside in.
Speaker 2:Yeah, they wear fur that really just grabs everything and then they roll around, preferably on white stuff. For them it seems to be their thing. But I wish I was a take-your-shoes-off person, just from a cleanliness thing, because I think it's the.
Speaker 1:I do think culturally there is a big difference between colder environments and warmer environments. People I know that live further north like Minnesota and stuff. You take your shoes off because, especially in the winter, like you're going through snow and salt and all kinds of things that can really impact your finishes in your home and stuff. That's totally true and we don't have that as much where we are and we also have very like indoor, outdoor living at our house, Like we are in and out all of the time.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:But it is. I yeah, I don't have a hot opinion on it. I understand why people don't wear shoes in their house and I'm like, yeah, that makes sense.
Speaker 2:No, I again. I wish I was a person that was better about taking my shoes off and respecting a clean home people I take them off, if somebody asked me to take them off or if, like, I see that that's what people are doing yeah, people ask that all the time online because we have a decent like.
Speaker 1:I think like 10 of my tiktok following is australian um from my analytics, or like eight percent or something like that, which is a pretty substantial. That's like my second biggest chunk behind the United States. And then I think I have Canada after that and people comment a lot. They're like I don't understand the shoe thing and it's like well, it's not like nobody's judging Matt for wearing his shoes in the house here. No, no. But I am curious about how it then impacts people who don't wear shoes thinking that in the house. I don't understand how anyone could judge people for not wearing shoes in the house. Does that make sense?
Speaker 2:Yeah, again. I'm sure some people are like well, it's just better.
Speaker 1:But, literally like I can't think of no, it doesn't work very well.
Speaker 2:the other way Again, I totally get it, and I wish my brain worked without wearing shoes sometimes, but it doesn't.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Which is why I own a lot of very cushiony shoes to just kind of bounce around the house.
Speaker 1:Bounce around the house. So, okay, we had a couple of various voicemails, but most of it was pretty conversational no questions this week. We listened. We enjoy listening to you guys.
Speaker 2:Yeah, we listen to all of them. Sometimes they're just like feedback on stuff that's less question related, but appreciate all the feedback that we can ever get.
Speaker 1:Truth.
Speaker 2:All right, first email. Hi, I'm a huge fan of your podcast and look forward to listening weekly while I work from home. I feel like we're friends, even though you don't know me. I relate to Matt in that I constantly have a show playing in the background, or music or a podcast like this one. I'm also a big scroller. Some days I remember Matt saying that he impulse subscribed to an app that is supposed to help you cut down on screen time, so I'm curious which app it was that he subscribed to and if it has helped at all slash if it's worth it.
Speaker 1:Thanks, um, did I yeah, oh wait, so reduce screen time.
Speaker 2:I don't remember doing one for screen time. Screen time you screen time.
Speaker 1:You had an app that you did in order to like, keep your schedule.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah, yep, yep, isn't that what we're? Yes, so yeah, the app wasn't intended to reduce my screen time. It was designed to intervene or like to inject more of my schedule into my screen time. Like if I'm going to be looking at my screen all the time schedule into my screen time. Like if I'm going to be looking at my screen all the time, let's put my like to-do list and put that on the front. Like I have to get through that or past that to get to something else, and how has that worked?
Speaker 2:It's been okay. I still haven't done a great job of getting the schedule fully filled out yet. That's a work in progress. Last week with the kids was not a good week to start that because it was not a normal working arrangement since you weren't home.
Speaker 1:I want to brag about Matt for a second.
Speaker 2:Oh.
Speaker 1:That was not the noise I was expecting you to make.
Speaker 2:Honestly, it wasn't the noise I expected to come out of my mouth.
Speaker 1:When I got home. So I got home from LA on Saturday and, like I said, Matt's cousins were already here and I got home and both kids were dressed and hair done and the entire house was impeccably clean, like counters were cleared, beds were made clean, sheets were on, house smelled fresh and clean. It was very impressive.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah. Well, I knew that was high on the list of things you wanted done, so I usually do. I try to get a lot done when you go away for a little bit of time, because it gives me the opportunity to work on things, kind of whenever, which with my brain wiring is like oh good, you're motivated to do this, go do it right now and ignore any other possible things you could be working on.
Speaker 1:I think it also gives you time to do a task to a point that it is very noticeable, Because I think it's hard for you to spend a couple hours on a task and feeling like you just dedicated a lot of time and then when I come look at it I'm like, oh cool, and that's like soul crushing to you. You want me to be able to go, wow.
Speaker 2:Yeah, because I usually tackle projects that are well past where they need to be. Like it's not something I can do a maintenance amount of work on. It's like oh, you're going to have to dedicate six to 12 hours to getting this done. And so if you only throw two to three hours at a six-hour project.
Speaker 2:a lot of times it's just been like prep work, or you've sorted the big pile of things into 12 small piles, but it still looks like a ton of stuff that kind of thing, and so having a bunch of uninterrupted time not that you even try to interrupt me, but there's just like I was, it's something about not being observed and just having all that time totally on your own terms lets me kind of shoot through some bigger tasks. So I got our closet we had. We had some piles of stuff in our closet. Got through that, got rid of a bunch of old sweaters that definitely don't fit me anymore but I refused to get rid of. So got those all sorted out. What else? Oh, the office I I cut a hole in the countertop in the office so I could finally stop running cords all over. So that was exciting. But yeah, I got to do some projects that maybe weren't high, high, high priorities for home, but stuff I was.
Speaker 1:I'd still love to have hardware in our pantry.
Speaker 2:That's not a bad idea, yeah.
Speaker 1:Or our bathroom or my closet.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I need to order a lot of hardware, cabinet hardware. So you know what? We've cleared all of the the stuff in front of the cabinets.
Speaker 1:You haven't told them what the app is, though oh, the app got it.
Speaker 2:Um, so I've done two different ones actually. Uh, I've done what's the first one? Structured, so structured has like a really nice, so they're both kind of schedule apps or like to do apps structured and tick tick. I think tick tick's probably the better app. I really like the look of Structured, but I think TickTick has better lists.
Speaker 1:Ticktick is the worst name I've ever heard for an app. I hate that.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I think the utility of TickTick is better.
Speaker 1:I think the style and the navigation of structured is is cleaner.
Speaker 2:So we're uh, we're balancing the two right now. Okay, trying to figure it out.
Speaker 1:We love to hear it.
Speaker 2:I haven't mastered anything that's cutting the screen time down, I'm just trying to utilize it a little bit. Maybe make it work for me slightly. What is your screen time?
Speaker 1:Are you willing to admit that?
Speaker 2:I'd rather not share that publicly or to you at all. Is it that bad? It's really high. Again, it's not that I'm looking at it the whole time either, but like if you have a show running on your phone, it counts as screen time.
Speaker 1:Do you think it's more or less than mine? Significantly more, yeah, yeah, that's terrifying, yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's high. Again, my very defensive self is saying well, it's not active screen time for a lot of it, but it's still on and running.
Speaker 1:I think it's a lot more active screen time than he thinks. No, okay, no-transcript. I mean, I'm sure somebody's talking about it, I don't mean that I have come up with the theory. That's not what I mean per se, but I just feel like people aren't really combating it no, it's really. It creeps up on you it's funny, because I really don't.
Speaker 2:I don't reach for my phone yeah like when I'm working, totally different yeah, I think it's so tied to work for you that it's not very tempting as often. No, like you can get distracted, like if you're doing tiktok for work yeah, for sure, like you can get scrolling. I never do it, but you, but I think, because it's so tied to what you do, you don't reach for it out of a impulse or discomfort For sure.
Speaker 2:Next email. Hi Joe and Matt. First of all, I just wanted to say how much I love the podcast. I've been listening since the first episode and you guys never fail to make me laugh and feel comfy. I love that. Y'all are totally real people. That sounds silly, but I'm hoping you know what I mean and that you're always down there.
Speaker 2:I really do know what you mean. Yeah, love listening and look forward to every new episode. Just want to let you know I'm from Victoria, british Columbia, canada, so that's always a great tip. Now to take a turn. I'm looking for some breakup advice.
Speaker 2:I've just turned 20 and I've had a whole lot of stressful things going on. One of those things is realizing I had started drifting away from my boyfriend. We'd been together for just under two years after going to high school together and starting to date in the end of grade 12. I've been feeling really anxious, not knowing whether I should shouldn't take a break, and after a bit of a breakdown, I broke up with him yesterday. It sucks because no one did anything wrong and we both still love each other, but I feel like we've grown apart a little bit.
Speaker 2:It was also my first relationship and I feel like the worst person in the world because I know it hurt him. Maybe it'll work out in the future, but not now. Anyway, I'm heartbroken, but I'm also sure that this space is what I need right now. I don't know whether I need it to be temporary or permanent, but I'm super sad all the same. That's very different. I really do know that I shouldn't hope so much that we'll get back together, but I'm missing him and I don't know what to do with myself right now. Anyway, this is all to say. I'd love any and all tips to get through a breakup, especially one where you were the breaker-upper. Thanks so much for being a safe and sweet space on the internet.
Speaker 1:Number one thing is time. I feel like often it's not Okay. Wait, I have a lot of things I want to say. Actually, I want to start with you don't break up with somebody because they're doing something wrong. Yes, you can break up with someone because they're doing something wrong, but you don't stay with somebody just because.
Speaker 2:They're not doing something wrong.
Speaker 1:Right yeah, and I think that that is so commonly heard, because when people hear that we broke up back in the day, they're like, oh, what'd you break up over? And I was like, oh well, it just wasn't right. Like, yeah, it wasn't right, it didn't feel good. Well, what, what did he do wrong? And I'm like, well, nothing, it just wasn't right.
Speaker 2:Yeah, your relationship's not a driver's license. You don't get to keep it until they take it away from you.
Speaker 1:Right, yeah, right, and so I think that that is a good perspective just to kind of allow to shift, because relationships are supposed to benefit you. I know we're not supposed to say that, but at the root of it, like that is what relationships are is what relationships are. They are beneficial to your health, to your being and hopefully you being in other people's life is beneficial to them, and if it stops being beneficial, even if nobody's doing anything wrong, it's okay to go a different direction and find what's right for you. Yeah, I'm not saying that if you're going through a bad season and you don't feel like you're getting everything you want, you should bail on someone either. Like it's obviously more nuanced than that.
Speaker 2:Well, I think it's just a good thing to keep in mind. Is that, um, where's the balance in your relationships is like? Are you providing value to someone? Are they providing value to you? Is that reciprocated? And that ebbs and flows in seasons. There's times where, like, you don't got it and maybe someone's helping you through that, and that's, that's something, but it's, I think it's always good to be really aware of, like hey, are they getting more out of this than I am, or am I getting more out of this than they are? And just kind of understanding that balance and respecting it. That's always a, I think, an important.
Speaker 1:And as for getting through it, it's okay to be sad and that's going to change, like it's fresh. It takes time when you change something up so greatly. It's just going to take a little bit of time, and so give yourself that and understand that it's okay you feel sad and it's okay to sit in sadness for some time and it's okay that it's going to ebb and flow and it's okay that some days you're going to feel really good and followed by waves of sadness. That is going to come. I think that is part of evolving and growing in life, just how it comes at you. But I say to a lot of my friends who aren't married or are single or are dating, when we've had conversations about relationships, it's like I hate when you know, you know, but I think that if you're questioning things, that that's a sign of like you need some time on your own or maybe it needs to be a different person.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you sent the email that you did it yesterday, so I would give it definitely more than a day, for sure, and I'm sure by the time we answered this, that it's been more than a day, for sure, and I'm sure, by the time we answered this, that it's been more than a day, but, um, yeah, weeks. It's going to take a long time to process through it and feel normal, and feel normal in a different like well, because you, you have to get used to your new normal yeah, yeah, you're in a different totally you're just uncomfortable, more than anything, because you're being thrown into something new and unknown, and also you're 20.
Speaker 1:And so how many adult years have you lived? None, like you know, like you have never been an adult on your own, and so that's really, I'm sure, whether aware or not, intimidating and a big shift and you've got a lot of changes coming still. I think about a lot. I just want to note this while we're on this topic and I say this every single time, but I just think it's really important to reiterate is, if you break up with somebody, to never hold out hope you're going to get back together.
Speaker 2:No, no, it shouldn't. It shouldn't ever be with the intent that like this is. I mean, it's different I guess if it's a break, but if it's a breakup, but I don't know that I'd understand totally.
Speaker 1:I don't believe in breaks being valuable, I'd like. I don't see it that way. I think you either are, you aren't, and I think to heal and to move forward like you need to be out on your own, on your own.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, I guess I can see the merit in like a break if you're needing space to work on something specific.
Speaker 1:No, no, because to me Like, if you're going through something individually. Right, but why are you, in my opinion, defining that as a break, then?
Speaker 2:Well, I mean, I don't think that's the typical application.
Speaker 1:Right, but that's what I mean. Let's say, I'm going through something. I can just tell you hey, I'm going through this and I need some space. That doesn't change anything about our relationship. We just need to communicate about it and behave accordingly. Why does it need to be defined as?
Speaker 3:That's where I struggle with it.
Speaker 1:I'm like there are points in our marriage where there have been going things going on that have nothing to do with you, where I'm like whoa, like I'm going to be busy with this and I need you to know that I'm not going to be like I'm not here with you and you're like cool, got it, you know, or?
Speaker 2:vice versa. I was just trying to devil's advocate us to make sure we were good.
Speaker 1:Because I believe so strongly in this.
Speaker 2:No, that's good.
Speaker 1:It doesn't mean I'm right, it's just my perception.
Speaker 2:Yeah, half the time I just devil's advocate our takes to mean nothing, I think.
Speaker 1:Yeah, no, I feel pretty fiercely in the things.
Speaker 2:I say typically I'm pretty much on the same page there. Yeah, it needs to be done with the idea that it's not going to happen, and that's the only way you're really going to be able to commit yourself to taking the space and working on yourself and all of that I never in a million years thought you and I were going to get back together.
Speaker 1:I didn't think we were going to talk to each other. No, me either. And even when we texted like initially and stuff, never in a million years, even when we went to go get a drink at New Year's still didn't think we were going to get back together. I was like, ooh, I just hooked up with my ex-boyfriend. That probably wasn't a good idea. Like I still like you know, like I still like, yeah, it was definitely like well, that wasn't maybe like the smartest thing.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it took us months and months and months to be like wait a second. Do we like, really like each other?
Speaker 2:are we gonna do this consistently?
Speaker 1:okay, I guess we should figure that out we started spending a lot of time together and we were like, oh wait okay, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2:After a couple months it was like okay, we should really figure this out. This isn't a good idea to do long term if we're not actually going to get back together. Yeah, yeah, all that to say you're good, just take a minute.
Speaker 1:Take a breath, for sure, I'm sure you'll be alright.
Speaker 2:Alright, you want to do one more?
Speaker 1:Yeah, I do want to do one more.
Speaker 2:All right, all right. Hey, joe and Matt, I just listened to your most recent episode. I want to let you know they still make Super Monkey Ball. My boyfriend and I play on the Nintendo Switch. It's one of our favorite games. She's about to just go out and, as short as possible.
Speaker 2:My boyfriend and I have been together for about a year and have known from a very early on that we wanted to get married. The issue is that he just got stationed in North Dakota and will be there for the next three years. I live in Louisiana and legally can't move due to the custody situation with my son. I have to stay full time at my job to carry health insurance for my son and I get very limited PTO days, so it's hard for me to travel to see him right now. We know we want to get married, but we were trying to decide when would be a good time. There are benefits to getting married now. It would allow me to go part-time and see each other more, as well as some other financial benefits. But is this a crazy thing to do? We'll live together in three years and want to be able to see each other more until then, but I don't know if having a long distance marriage would be a bad idea. I would love to hear your thoughts.
Speaker 1:Whatever works for you, I like to me. You didn't name any downsides.
Speaker 2:No, I heard no negatives Like long distance marriage isn't any different than a long distance relationship, other than maybe you would feel a little bit more secure as well.
Speaker 1:Well, and the thing for me I'm not saying there aren't downsides, but like there's included within that conversation, other than maybe the judgment you're putting on yourself or the judgment that you think you're going to receive from others, is kind of the vibe I'm getting.
Speaker 2:Hey, I think you're going to have a really unique story where the first three years you were married, you didn't live in the same place. Yeah, no, yeah. I think the downsides of having a long distance relationship and being married in that long distance relationship aren't any different, whether or not it's, you know, legally recognized. Now, if having it legally recognized provides you significant benefits in terms of your time and financially, yeah, I think it makes sense to do it.
Speaker 2:And if you're going to like if your long distance relationship was going to be a problem over the course of three years. Is it that much of a worse thing if you get divorced, over breaking up like if you're not even in the same place? Really like you're not having to split up your home. I mean a lot of people don't want to like that's totally understand that like I'm not saying like hey, it's totally cool, it's easy peasy, just get divorced, it's not a big deal.
Speaker 2:But not saying that's the goal, but your divorce would be a lot less complicated if you already live in different places and have separate stuff. You know, yeah, does that make sense, is this a good idea or is this a terrible idea?
Speaker 1:Well, no, I think it's fine. You just took it a really weird direction in like bringing up divorce at all to me I was just thinking worst case like what's yeah, what's the big?
Speaker 2:downside. That's my see.
Speaker 1:That's what you get from me this is something I've learned about matt it, and it's that's an asset to have is when talking to you, I know that I just go, hey, but like what's the worst case scenario and that helps you calm.
Speaker 2:Yeah, literally, what's the worst thing that can happen and what do you do to fix that? Yeah, it's like, okay, we've planned that out, everything else is bonus. Like that probably won't happen. But knowing that the worst thing that could happen or at least that I can imagine can happen can be solved, or that it's not as bad as my nervous system wants to think it is, it helps me.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I don't think it's that weird.
Speaker 2:No.
Speaker 1:I just don't get caught up in much. I don't think I'm like yeah, cool. If that works for you, that's great.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I think you're just making the law work for you in your committed relationship.
Speaker 1:Yeah, if you're committed and you feel good about it and it's what you want, hell yeah we got married like slightly ahead of schedule yeah, we did, yeah, we've done everything, like matt and I, the plan that we kind of.
Speaker 1:You know, obviously plans are um meant to shift and change, but the timeline and plan that you and I kind of set, which was loose, it's not like we had a rigid 10 year this and this and this, but, uh, we planned to get married like late 20s and we ended up getting married younger than that because I was self-employed and yeah, um, we were living together anyway.
Speaker 1:And then we ended up having kids quite a bit earlier than we had intended because it was really important to me that my kids um got to don't know. It's kind of complicated. My mom had a bunch of like health things that went on all at once that I got really panicked that my mom wasn't gonna be around to meet my kids Um, and that was really important to me. And now she's doing really well. So it's not, it's like now it seems a little not silly, like I'm'm, I'm really happy with how things have worked out but it kind of feels like an overreaction sometimes yeah for sure, um, but like if it wasn't how it is right now, it wouldn't feel that way, and so it's like you know just how it worked out.
Speaker 1:Yeah, for sure, but uh, yeah, anyway, yeah, I don't think that's crazy.
Speaker 2:Leave us a voicemail. Good luck to you.
Speaker 1:Subscribe to the YouTube channel. Rate and review. Send us a DM, follow us on Instagram. Yeah, all the things, and we love you all and we hope you're having a great week. Bye, bye.