Sunburns, Submissions, and Seltzers

This week on Oversharing we kick things off recounting Matt's sunburnt misadventures at the lake, and how his hat-less therapy session led to some surprising reactions. Jo doesn't hold back in describing Matt's new tomato-esque complexion, thanks to podcast lighting that's a little too accurate for comfort. We reflect on our lake trip, where despite having a plethora of hats available, Matt's reluctance to wear one left him looking well-done from the neck up.

Join us as we share laughs, personal anecdotes, and give you our no-holds-barred reviews on some trendy seltzers. It's a fun, engaging episode filled with our trademark humor and honesty, perfect for anyone looking to unwind and enjoy some light-hearted content.

If you've got a thought to share or are looking for a bit of advice on something, leave us a voicemail at the link below!

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Transcript

Speaker 1 0:00

Welcome to Oversharing with Overbees. I'm Jo. And I'm Matt, and each week you can tune in to hear us respond to your voicemails, go in-depth on our lives as content creators and hopefully leave you feeling even better than we found you.

Speaker 2 0:10

With that being said, let's get to Oversharing. Oh man, podcast lighting. It's just, I look like I've been broiled.

Speaker 1 0:20

That's not the lighting, Matt. That's what you look like.

Speaker 2 0:23

I feel like other lighting it's accentuating other lighting's been forgiving yeah, that's what I'm saying. This lighting is not forgiving, this lighting is aggressively no what I'm letting you know is this lighting is very accurate to real life.

Speaker 1 0:37

The other light has been forgiving okay it's not like where it adds 30 pounds, and this is worse than it is in real life. That's what you look like. I, a tomato. Don't like what you're saying, but it's not like where it adds 30 pounds, and this is worse than it is in real life. That's what you look like.

Speaker 2 0:46

I, a tomato don't like what you're saying, but it's probably true matt got absolutely fried.

Speaker 1 0:53

Matt just from like the neck up everything else is pretty I don't understand why you weren't wearing a hat all our hats bleed.

Speaker 2 1:01

We have all these great hats I brought a bunch of hats.

Speaker 1 1:03

I brought seven hats with us to the lake.

Speaker 2 1:06

I didn't feel like putting them in the water.

Speaker 1 1:07

I had four that didn't bleed with me.

Speaker 2 1:10

Yeah, they were your hats, though I didn't want to put them in the water. That is true, I realized. That's why I burn my face and I haven't been burning my face pretty much ever lately is because I've been wearing a hat most of the time.

Speaker 1 1:23

Yeah.

Speaker 2 1:23

And for years I didn't wear hats.

Speaker 1 1:25

Actually our therapist this week, matt, didn't have a hat on and she was like oh, I've never seen you without a hat.

Speaker 2 1:30

And that blew my mind.

Speaker 1 1:31

That's the top of your head. Huh, that was crazy. That was crazy. We followed through this week and here in what I like to call my macaroni bowl, because this is the bowl I make microwave macaroni in. It's not really good for ice, it's really.

Speaker 2 1:50

Sweating. Yeah, I thought it'd be worse if it was like a metal bowl.

Speaker 1 1:54

Yeah, no, you're right, there's a lot of ice in there, okay. Yeah, Matt wanted to make sure these were nice and cold they are cold, it worked. We have the Sunny d vodka seltzers here, which when I drink anything with a like vodka base I tend to get hives. So we're not testing it, but I am. I am going to just take a small sip of each flavor, all right that wasn't very satisfying. I like them to like have a nice crisp like that, but then I want them to go, like you know sure uh, what flavor did you pick to start with?

Speaker 2 2:28

I didn't even. Oh, this is just tangy orange, okay you started with the original yeah I have gotten really mixed reviews in my dms about these.

Speaker 1 2:35

It's either people are like they sneak up on you, they're so good, and other people are like it's the worst thing I've ever had it's not the worst thing I've ever had. I'm wanting it to taste like an orange kiss, alani.

Speaker 2 2:50

It's not that. Here give it a sample. This should be sponsored, guys.

Speaker 1 2:54

I'm scared, but it's not.

Speaker 2 2:57

It's just pure bit. There's a real vodka finish to it, but the front end is sunny d.

Speaker 1 3:14

It tastes exactly like an orange kissalani to me.

Speaker 2 3:18

I can't taste, and I normally am really really sensitive to vodka. Sunny d you've got, you've got.

Speaker 1 3:20

It's too bad, I can't drink those. I mean you can try. Actually it's not I really don't drink.

Speaker 2 3:23

She's in, really sensitive to vodka. Sunny D, you've got a.

Speaker 1 3:25

It's too bad. I can't drink those. I mean you can try. Actually it's not. I really don't drink ever.

Speaker 2 3:30

You have like a handful of drinks this weekend and it ruined you for like the next 36 hours.

Speaker 1 3:35

I can't do it. But you know what? Guys In camaraderie for Matt, this is the only time you're going to get me to do this. I'm never doing this again.

Speaker 2 3:41

You're not going to drink on the podcast regularly. No, well, you might, I think we should just be sponsored, and every week I just sample hard seltzers. Try a different seltzer.

Speaker 1 3:51

I'm having a tequila seltzer high noon with Matt one, because I got a four pack or I don't know what I got. I did not come near drinking all of them. So all of them. So this one's grapefruit I haven't tried the grapefruit yet. I'm gonna drink like a quarter of this and then be like matt. Do you want the rest?

Speaker 2 4:07

I'm gonna have like three and a half drinks by the end of this podcast, so yeah, it'll be fine.

Speaker 1 4:11

Okay, well, let's see if this has a like a zestier I think you're just not, do you think?

Speaker 2 4:25

yeah, thanks, well, I think you also have a technique that you like oh, I think you have. Like you're like, this is how it's done and I was just winging it and I thought you did great oh you were okay I think it was the sunny, d not you? Well, I take everything personally, yeah okay, we're gonna try the grapefruit.

Speaker 1 4:46

Okay, I really like that. I'm happy with my beverage. All right, guys and we're drinking and we're, we're good. This is a first an over sharing with the overbees first where we're both drinking, yeah, yeah well, that's because I drink like three times a year. That's true that's true but two times in this weekend. Let's go.

Speaker 2 5:06

I guess I should clarify I'm not regularly drinking during this podcast.

Speaker 1 5:09

No, but you have like one or two times, I think, the sex podcasts is where I brought it in. I think that's really the only time, though.

Speaker 2 5:16

Yeah, I was like, I think I need some drinks before this.

Speaker 1 5:19

Yeah, you rocked it. I love those episodes. I would do additional episodes to that.

Speaker 2 5:25

I think I podcast about 10, 10% better, at least you think. Just a little buzzed. Okay, it lowers the filter that I just always run all the time.

Speaker 1 5:38

That's why I mean alcohol.

Speaker 2 5:39

if I could take a medication that had the impact the filter reduction of alcohol but I could, like you know, drive the kids places Right Safely. I would take that. A downer but yeah, yeah, I just need something a little suppressing, but like I still need a stimulant also, so it's a whole. I think that's bad for your heart, I mean. Sure, but what?

Speaker 1 6:08

about my lifestyle. Matt today has been on one. I'm just gonna go ahead and start there. He started today. We had multiple tires that were not holding air anymore in our car and finally Matt that sounds bad. Yeah, well, it's where we were and Matt ordered new tires. We had to take it today and we go and it's like a very stressful kind of morning because there's a lot of moving parts. My best friend's in town, she's heading home. We have both the kids.

Speaker 1 6:44

We're moving around car seats, you know, just like the we're going to a tire shop I haven't used before yeah, like stuff's just a little crazy and I always keep the keys in the same place and always they're always in the same spot because I have systems in my life and matt is a big f the systems guy. Not intentionally, no uh, and so he removes the keys from their usual spot, looks at me and lets me know that it's happening. And, uh, he bounces and is like all right, right, like you know, whatever, yeah, we were running late, we were running late.

Speaker 1 7:30

We get both the kids in the car. I'm saying bye to my best friend. She's getting in her car and then Matt walks over and goes what'd you do with the key? He's like did you put it back? Where is?

Speaker 2 7:44

it. What'd you do with it? To? To be fair, you did handle it after I touched it. No, I didn't, you did, but then I picked it up how did I handle? Tell me about how I handled it okay, I pulled them out of your purse uh-huh they were on the counter, then you grabbed them, moved them around like handled them no, I didn't okay, that was the Subaru key. I don't know, that's okay.

Speaker 1 8:05

I did not touch them. I touched the Subaru key after you took them, okay. And when I picked up the Subaru key, which is my Subaru key, okay, we have two.

Speaker 2 8:16

One's mine.

Speaker 1 8:17

Mine have the dangly things on them that you hate. I said we never got the other car key back from your parents.

Speaker 2 8:24

That's yeah, said we never got the other car key back from your parents, that's?

Speaker 1 8:26

yeah, I said so.

Speaker 2 8:27

I have your key I thought you were handling the keys to the, the car that I had to. I was not you had already pocketed them okay, well, again, I thought they were in my pocket and then I couldn't find in my pocket and it's because when I put the kids into the car I put it in the car door, but it took me I don't know 10 stressful minutes to find them where I was uh, silently blaming you, that they were silently.

Speaker 2 8:51

You immediately accused me immediately well, but after that I was silently blaming you were you really, I felt, justified.

Speaker 1 9:00

You still thought it was me I just couldn't figure.

Speaker 2 9:02

I was like I don't know where they would have been put matt's like immediately.

Speaker 1 9:06

When he like doesn't have a rational of what he did, he's like it was joe, which honestly explains so much of our dynamics, because matt misplaces stuff all of the time and he never blames himself. He's always like and this is okay. This matt hates this, but this is like the hall light being left on when I was a kid. Yeah, it's a trauma. Trauma is dramatic, but it's a sensitive topic.

Speaker 2 9:34

Also looking at the camera, I'm realizing that my shirt like blends into the curtain.

Speaker 1 9:39

It really does. I kind of like it. It looks like you're popping out of the curtain.

Speaker 2 9:42

Yeah, it looks like a like a roasted head and an arm your arm's not burnt no, like I said, only neck up all right, just a hat update us on how's 32 feeling 32 feels uh, exactly like 31 felt, which is how 30 felt birthdays are not a momentous occasion in my life. I don't think, okay, um, yeah, that that's all I got, wasn't uh anything too crazy?

Speaker 1 10:10

you didn't like the celebration I planned for you, the card your child made you any of the.

Speaker 2 10:17

The card was great. Uh, her, she, she made a card and then also she went to Target with her grandparents and they got me a card. That was really sweet. It like makes me emotional when I read it, but I wish I could remember it off the top of my head and I could share it. That was good, it was fun. We went out on a boat this weekend for my birthday.

Speaker 1 10:40

I got over my fear. You did you piloted a boat, I faced a giant fear for you yep, yep, you.

Speaker 2 10:53

Yeah, I think you mildly faced that fear because you booked the boat pretty last minute, but um, it worked out.

Speaker 1 11:04

Right, yeah, okay.

Speaker 2 11:06

But it worked and you did a great job. Did you have fun, did you?

Speaker 1 11:11

have fun captaining the ship. No, no, I don't like being in charge.

Speaker 2 11:15

Oh Gotcha, you looked like you were having fun though.

Speaker 1 11:19

Good yeah, I was happy to be there, no.

Speaker 2 11:22

Oh, okay, okay.

Speaker 1 11:23

I, when I tell you it gives me such anxiety and not much, does Like there aren't very many things I really don't get worked up about much, but there are a handful of things that the the voice in my head is so incredibly loud Like I have heart palpitations the entire time, like it's very, very stressful for me. It's hard for me to like get in the moment and have fun because I'm very Well, that's too bad Stressed. Yeah, I mean I enjoyed being out on the lake.

Speaker 2 11:54

I was going to say we were rocking a just a slow pontoon.

Speaker 1 11:56

So which I think also kind of it was just Was that worse yeah?

Speaker 2 12:01

Okay.

Speaker 1 12:02

Yeah, okay, yeah.

Speaker 2 12:02

I didn't know if it'd be better that your pontoon maxed out at like 20.

Speaker 1 12:06

20. Or worse. No, it was kind, I thought it would make it better.

Speaker 2 12:12

But you didn't feel like you could get out of situations, is that? No, Like I wasn't really worried about much in terms of like running into something because, it was a like older pontoon that went 20 miles an hour right topped out right right, right right, um, but no, like going through the main channel and stuff.

Speaker 1 12:38

I was just like I can't really get out of the way of anybody Like I can but I have to really be watching, because there's going to be no last minute maneuvering in this thing, cause it is going literally like we were like a turtle compared to everything else on the lake.

Speaker 2 12:56

Other faster pontoons are going around us.

Speaker 1 12:58

And we could get up to a better speed, like if we were on smooth water and we were running bottomed out for a while. We could get up, and you know up into the upper 20s like 30 35. I know it was fun, yeah yeah, it was 115 horse out. It was a beautiful day yeah, um, and we were kid free, which was um nice a fun little afternoon. Yeah, yeah, it was good. And then I went to a concert.

Speaker 2 13:29

Yeah.

Speaker 1 13:30

And that was fun.

Speaker 2 13:31

Well, Tate McRae.

Speaker 1 13:32

Yep, I love her. She's so cool. She's very talented. Girl can sing, girl can dance. It was very entertaining. Show was great. Friends that I went with were great Good.

Speaker 2 13:46

Good time, yeah, good show was great, friends that I went with were great good good time.

Speaker 1 13:49

Yeah, good times were hard. You were popular there. Oh gosh, why do you say that?

Speaker 2 13:51

no, jc just said you. Uh, you made a few appearances I have not like.

Speaker 1 13:58

I feel like I haven't had somebody say hi to me in public in a minute and yeah, the concert I made friends man. Good it was fun, got to take some pictures.

Speaker 2 14:11

Love that.

Speaker 1 14:12

Meet people, chat with them a little bit Awesome. The most embarrassing thing that happened was the first time it happened. These girls walked up to me and we were sitting and we'd just gotten done taking a picture as a group like of our friends. And they walked up and I thought what they said to me, which everybody else clearly heard them other than me. I thought they said do you want us to take a picture for you? And I was like, oh no, we got it. And that's what I said back. And then JC looked at me and was like, yes, she will. And I was like, what? And she goes, they want to take a picture with you. And I was like, oh my God, I'm so sorry, oh my gosh.

Speaker 1 14:45

I said I thought you were asking like if we needed a picture, because their faces, when I responded like that, were like, like they were like, oh okay, and I was like, what did I just say? Like I was like, oh no, what did I do? What did I do? Anyway so if that was you, I'm really sorry, anyway, so if that was you, I'm really sorry.

Speaker 2 15:03

Thanks for listening.

Speaker 1 15:04

If it is you, I just can't hear very well, I've had a really hard time. I don't have like I can hear really soft noises. That's not the issue.

Speaker 2 15:16

You have decent hearing.

Speaker 1 15:17

Yeah, I have a really hard time when there's a lot of noise all at once to like distinguish the different noises.

Speaker 2 15:25

This is not going to help people who think you have adhd.

Speaker 1 15:28

This is gonna this is gonna put more ammo in there, in there but I don't understand how that would be an adhd thing it's an audio processing issue, same thing with why you have to use subtitles.

Speaker 2 15:41

Now, I don't think it means that you have adhd.

Speaker 1 15:43

I really don't think you do, but that is a thing literally got served like two videos this week about people who can't hear without subtitles I really don't think I have adhd though no, I know, I don't think you do either I don't think I exhibit, but then everybody's always like I think you're neurodivergent, I think you have these things and I really just think for the most part I was raised around a lot of neurodivergent people, but maybe I don't know.

Speaker 2 16:08

I know it's a spectrum I think you get overstimulated by sound like, but that isn't. I think that is your one. Uh, again, I don't think it's a you're, you know, but I think that is something that you're wired for is you get overwhelmed by sound?

Speaker 1 16:27

it's just when multiple things are happening at once yes, for me.

Speaker 2 16:33

I identify that if I have three sounds going at once, like I like two, two sounds at once yeah like I can do my air my AirPods transparent while watching something, not a problem. But then if, like, two people are talking to me at the same time and I have something going in my AirPods, then it's an issue.

Speaker 1 16:53

Yeah, that's crazy.

Speaker 2 16:55

Yeah, but two things is fine.

Speaker 1 16:56

That's weird, I think.

Speaker 2 16:58

Okay.

Speaker 1 16:58

Like I really I think that's abnormal. I don't think it's that weird that when two people are talking to me at once that I'm like whoa, whoa, whoa, I'm not processing that well. Like I don't think that's this huge red flag.

Speaker 2 17:11

No, I don't think it's a red flag either. I was just saying I do think audio like stimulation is a lot for you.

Speaker 1 17:20

I don't know if I agree with that. Okay, I'm being defensive.

Speaker 2 17:23

I know you are. Maybe, but I've just seen you get very overstimulated by mainly our kids, who just like to yell because they're kids.

Speaker 1 17:31

I don't think the yelling bothers me as much as the interruption.

Speaker 2 17:36

Oh Fair.

Speaker 1 17:37

Like my frustration, I think most of the time isn't from the yelling, it's from I am trying so hard to just get this done and if you give me 90 seconds, I can play animal doctor with you, that's fair. Yeah, they aren't the most patient Um which makes sense, like they're three in one, you know.

Speaker 2 17:59

Absolutely no. I'm not like I don't know what's wrong with them.

Speaker 1 18:03

I'm just like, yeah, they do that. If you're sitting just like on your phone vibing while it's happening, then I get real pissed. But I don't think it has anything to do with the volume or the audio. I think it has to do with, you know, the lack of awareness by the guy who can hear 13 voices, watch a show and a podcast at the same time and be unbothered.

Speaker 2 18:27

Yeah, the lack of awareness by the guy who can hear 13 voices, watch a show and a podcast at the same time and be unbothered? Well, I can't do all three of them, but I can do a couple of them at a time.

Speaker 1 18:33

But not check in when I'm trying to finish a task.

Speaker 2 18:37

Half the time they don't want me. Like if I was like, I'll play animal doctor. She's like no, mom Doesn't matter, she needs to be animal doctor.

Speaker 1 18:43

She's like no, mom Doesn't matter, she needs to be the doctor. You could still step in. I get it. I get it. Anyway, we're hashing it out today.

Speaker 2 18:53

Yeah, it's good, it's good.

Speaker 1 18:56

Are you almost done with your tangy orange? Let's get into Greg's reads. Greg's reads Reads of the week. Reads of the week. Reads of the week. Just do an out of box for everything. Yeah, I know greg is my dad.

Speaker 1 19:09

He's a wonderful man who likes to read a heck of a lot of news and he likes to send us articles, and what we do on this podcast is we read those headlines and we let you know, on a scale of zero to five, how much anxiety that headline gave us when it came through our inbox. Go ahead, matt, take it away. Scale of zero to five, how much anxiety that headline gave us when it came through our inbox. Go ahead, matt take it away.

Speaker 2 19:33

Here's why everyone in america seems to have more money than you. It may not be what you think zero out of five.

Speaker 1 19:42

I have no doubt that the answer is debt or just like it, just looks like it yeah you're just looking at like your own individual insecurities.

Speaker 1 19:51

Yeah, like one out of five I think that is like such a big issue with the world now is because we take in so many people's lives. It's the same thing with wedding photography and, like the reason I left wedding photography is people would come to a board with like 25 moments from 25 different weddings and they would take the top picture from all 25 weddings and then they want all 25 of those. You know, and I feel like that is our current state with social media. We're taking in so many lifestyles that we assume everybody has all you. You know, like we'll watch 25 different people. They all have something cool that we want, but it's all different and then we assume everybody has all of them. Does that make sense?

Speaker 1 20:35

yeah okay, well, it's like debt, yeah or making lifestyle sacrifices or trade-offs like they value something more than you do yeah, that makes sense we travel, but we don't do restaurant, whatever it is, yeah well, I say that a lot when people ask me how I read so much, because something that I get or they may have a side hustle. I guess that's another one yeah, people often when I post about reading are like how are you reading so much? Like are you just reading all day and one? I'm a very fast reader.

Speaker 2 21:07

Like Flex. Just kidding, I was just kidding, you got so mad at that.

Speaker 1 21:14

Because that's not what I'm trying to. Oh, you didn't tell us which one that was. What is it? Orange pineapple? Ew, I don't know how I feel about that. Oh, you don't tell us which one that was. What is it Orange pineapple? Ew, I don't know how I feel about that. Oh, you don't.

Speaker 2 21:28

I'm not a big pineapple fan.

Speaker 1 21:29

Oh Well, anyway, I read quickly and then, oh, that's not looking like a good sign.

Speaker 2 21:37

It's not gentle on the pineapple, it's pineapple forward. Let me try the pineapple leaps out of the can. It tastes like pineapple juice.

Speaker 1 21:53

Yeah, I don't like that one as much if you like pineapple juice, though, look into orange pineapple because it is.

Speaker 2 21:57

It is like pineapple juice and honestly I don't really even taste the vodka so much in it could, because it's my second one.

Speaker 1 22:03

But I think it's because the pineapple is really doing a number anyway, all I was saying is I prioritize reading over other hobbies, like I don't watch a lot of tv. I don't know, you have to drink that, are you gonna?

Speaker 2 22:21

drink the whole pineapple. Okay, that's fine. You know what? That's a good plan.

Speaker 1 22:24

I'll just I'll slam this bad boy oh no, don't do that like you don't have to drink it. I said that like I don't leave unfinished drinks all the time I was gonna say it was just a gut reaction and it was wrong.

Speaker 2 22:35

I apologize for my it's okay, but I respect it and I will, uh, you do not have to drink that, okay?

Speaker 1 22:43

well, on that note, let's go ahead and go to the next greg's read. They're so cold, what do you? You?

Speaker 2 22:49

were. So the ice. The ice was doing a great job. Retirees want to keep your money.

Speaker 1 22:57

Make a tax plan five out of five, while also simultaneously zero out of five well, yeah, because if I spend any time, thinking about it like a five out of five, um, but when I see it, I'm immediately like no zero out of five it's all the triggers.

Speaker 2 23:15

Well, here he literally says right after yes, I know three out of four triggers, but if I could go back and re-educate myself on one thing for retirement would be no, to have a tax plan, for example, I would have done everything. Roth or backdoor Roth, I would have saved 24% on taxes. So that didn't help at all. Just talking about how that just accentuates it for me. Yeah, it's a 4 to 5 out of 5 if you really look at it, or you go pass and then you just move right past it.

Speaker 1 23:42

That's what I do. Yeah, pass and then you just move right past. That's what I do. Yeah, not always, I like the gardening ones.

Speaker 2 23:49

No one more, oh, one more. Sorry, I'm overwhelmed by how cold this beverage is. You want, you want to know something funny? I, uh, I put salt in the ice to, like, make it even colder you were worried they weren't gonna get cold enough yeah, well, I didn't do it really far ahead of time and so I I was like I don't know that I want to drink warm sunny d vodka that's fair beverages.

Speaker 2 24:13

I didn't prepare well no, and so uh, yeah, all right. Number three, gen x is the most stressed generation alive, and studies reveal what that's the end of the you think? They reveal why.

Speaker 1 24:31

Do you really think that that's true?

Speaker 2 24:35

It's done via survey, so I don't know, Like they probably Maybe. I don't know it's tricky.

Speaker 1 24:51

I think it's because they're getting to retirement.

Speaker 2 24:52

Their kids are young millennials or old gen z's and they're getting to retirement age which I think is like the biggest factor, and that's what a lot of it is talking about why is that stressful? If they don't have enough for retirement or they don't feel comfortable in their retirement, especially with inflation, and so I take I don't feel that bad yeah they got to buy houses in, like the early 2000s.

Speaker 1 25:16

They have assets. They have assets. The market's been nothing but good for them, their entire investing career for them. Why, oh eight?

Speaker 2 25:24

yeah, there was a couple couple real blips in there.

Speaker 1 25:27

For sure some downturns, which is expected and part of the normal cycle but like and honestly as a young person, you should be hoping for them so in their biggest years, like their biggest years would be like 10 to now yeah, it's been a killer other than, I guess, 2020 yeah, which that recovered, I think actually within like seven weeks or something crazy.

Speaker 2 25:51

Like that was very short term I don't know.

Speaker 1 25:53

Anyway, I don't know how I feel about that yeah, I mean, it doesn't stress me out um, I like the gen x people though. Yeah, I really do. But I'm surprised to hear that. But maybe that's why we don't hear from them very much. Maybe they're just so anxious.

Speaker 2 26:12

Yeah, yeah, I think there's just a different set. I think young people are stressed. It's just also. I think the younger generations are also like what are you going to do, right? Like they're just like we're going to live our life and we're going to have debt and we're never going to own anything, and that's, I guess, what it is. And we're going to figure it out over time.

Speaker 1 26:33

Yeah.

Speaker 2 26:33

Whereas they are like in the latter half of their life. That makes sense, so yeah.

Speaker 1 26:43

I hate that for our generation. That that's the if you think that's really the thought process taking a laissez-faire attitude I just think that's stressful yeah and so I, like I don't wish that upon anybody I realize that it's necessary for a lot of people but yeah, I think it's um, you know, you know it's the procrastination, just kicking the can down the road.

Speaker 2 27:08

I get that. That resonates with me on a spiritual level.

Speaker 1 27:13

Word of the week. Word of the week.

Speaker 2 27:16

All right, let's get you a word of the week, let's teach you some language.

Speaker 1 27:21

I live for a word of the week.

Speaker 2 27:24

Really.

Speaker 1 27:27

Yeah, I usery this week. Then I had to define it for everybody that was there yeah because everybody was like um what?

Speaker 2 27:34

are you saying?

Speaker 1 27:35

wrong and I was like not wrong, look dictionary I'm brilliant, wow. So you got to flex on people no, then I had to admit that you taught me that word this week and I just was trying to use it and they asked what other words I learned and I said akimbo.

Speaker 2 27:53

Tried and true word.

Speaker 1 27:55

It stuck with me.

Speaker 2 27:56

You familiar with the word locust.

Speaker 1 27:59

Like the animal, no. Or the bug, I mean no, that's a locust. Oh, Locust. No no.

Speaker 2 28:11

Focus with an L.

Speaker 1 28:13

No, I am not familiar. It is in fact not the bug.

Speaker 2 28:17

No.

Speaker 1 28:18

No T, no bug.

Speaker 2 28:20

The scene of any event or action, especially the place of a meeting venue. So like the focus it is kind of like the word focus or the set of all points or lines that satisfy or are determined by specific conditions.

Speaker 1 28:34

So like what's the locus?

Speaker 2 28:39

Yeah, I think usually it's like something is the locus of whatever what's the locus of the I can't.

Speaker 1 28:48

That's never going to get used. I hate that word.

Speaker 2 28:51

Yeah, yeah, I just found it and it really popped yeah, no, I mean it pops.

Speaker 1 28:56

I've definitely never heard it. I don't know that that's better or not, I think if I say that, people are going to be like no, there were no bugs there sure I'm looking for a nice usage of it here and it's taking you that long, which tells me that no, they just.

Speaker 2 29:10

They gave a very long paragraph and then they highlighted where it was and I didn't find the highlight for a minute. In the shadow of all those upheavals, quito, which is something that this article is talking about has become an unexpected locus for a group of architects who argue, perhaps unsurprisingly, for added transparency, community and sustainability.

Speaker 1 29:29

That sounds pretentious as hell.

Speaker 2 29:33

Yeah, it sounds like maybe the article is.

Speaker 1 29:35

I don't think that's for me. I think that's for people much better than me.

Speaker 2 29:38

And that's okay. You guys keep locusts. You can use it like a hotspot. It looks good on you, yeah, like it's the locusts of anyway. Okay, you might have to explain it.

Speaker 1 29:47

Crystal Bridges is the locusts of the Northwest Arkansas art scene.

Speaker 2 29:50

Yeah, of the Northwest.

Speaker 1 29:52

Arkansas art scene. Yeah, yeah, that worked, thank you.

Speaker 2 29:54

I do see that. Yeah, if you use some of these words of the week, they're better to know when you read.

Speaker 1 30:01

I think I think people, if I say that, are going to think I'm calling Crystal Bridges an insect. I really do Like. I really think people will not know.

Speaker 2 30:10

Totally fair, totally fair.

Speaker 1 30:11

I think that we should hit text. This week we have yeah, people have been really texting us, which is great text.

Speaker 2 30:17

It's an awesome like. I really like the system, mainly because we get like notifications and if there's something that we should be prepping for, oh yeah, we have a. We have a lot of unread texts. Here we are, let's go, let's hit them all right, all right, oh oh, this is a longer one just so you guys know.

Speaker 1 30:33

I think this is a good time to let y'all uh in on this. There is a character limit, so if you write something too long, it'll just cut off uh, this is a long one though, so apparently it's not like they'll let you.

Speaker 2 30:44

They'll let you text some stuff I'm a single nurse in my 20s and just trying to live life the most.

Speaker 1 30:50

I can you have to start completely over? The first word you said made didn't. What it sounded like to me was I'm here in my 20s.

Speaker 2 31:01

See auditory process. I'm a single nurse in my 20s. I'm just trying to live the most.

Speaker 1 31:13

What the amount? The first time you said that I did not.

Speaker 2 31:19

Okay, do you want to read the text?

Speaker 1 31:21

no, no, it was so clear that time, just like it made me laugh, how far off. My guess. I thought was like maybe I heard it perfectly and I'm just being dense. And then you said it and I was like, nope, okay, so sorry.

Speaker 2 31:41

Go ahead. I'm a single nurse in my 20s and just trying to live the most life I can right now and love all your recommendations to do so too. I do have a question that's a little more serious, though. A dear loved one of mine, also in their 20s, was just diagnosed with an autoimmune disease. That is pretty life-altering. I'm wondering what your best advice would be in supporting them in navigating this new life while grieving the old and what could have been, when there's not anything I can do to change or cure this disease. We're long-distance best friends and I check in often and have been working to visit more and text and call to talk about other things in the sense to live life as normal as possible.

Speaker 1 32:19

Do you have any other recommendations for me? Thanks, I think just being in an available space, yeah, as somebody who has not experienced that, I think always being in an available space for people is the absolute best thing that you can do. So a listening ear, not being afraid to check in occasionally too.

Speaker 2 32:30

Yeah, I mean, I think there's a really good balance between operating without changing a lot, so as to keep some sense of normalcy, and then also doing some check ins, because, on one hand, you definitely one of the best things you can do is operate normally and let that person define their limitations, rather than trying to impose them, and let that person define their limitations rather than trying to impose them Now there are situations, obviously, where it's like, okay, if that person tries to take on too much, you can take some part in trying to build healthy boundaries.

Speaker 2 33:07

But if that person is okay, setting healthy boundaries with you and maybe that's the discussion to have is like, hey, I want you to put boundaries out there if we're doing something that is too much or if you need something else, but we're going to operate.

Speaker 1 33:18

I agree with that. I think. Proceed as normal and let them educate you on where they're, because I think that's the thing I've heard from most of my friends that are in situations where their health has taken a hit or a big shift is they're like well, people don't ask me anymore because they assume I'm going to say no. And they're like, even though, yes, I probably would say no about that. Often they say I just wish they would allow me to be the one to say no.

Speaker 2 33:45

Well, I think that's the, you know, like the parent thing where, um, a lot of times new parents are the first people to have kids in a group of friends are like, yeah, we're going to turn down invites, but it would be nice to be invited Again. There are extremes where it's like, well, they haven't accepted an invite in a year and a half, so it gets kind of redundant, but it is. There's very much a it's important to let people feel a sense of normalcy and then also set their own boundaries. I have a really good friend who has one hand and I've learned over time, just I assume he can do anything and then if he can't, he's like, hey, yeah, I can't do that. Like I can't button the top button of my shirt, I can play golf, which is a sport you wouldn't necessarily think with one hand is the most doable. But yeah, he's got that. We play video games together with, like, he's got a normal controller. It's not anything. Accessibility wise, he's better than me which doesn't feel great Much better.

Speaker 2 34:50

And he's the nicest guy in the world. So he's always like oh no, you did good too. And I'm like I have two hands, like why do my two hands not work as well as your one hand? But yeah, so yeah, I think that's you're doing a good job checking in, you're doing a good job like thinking about it. Just let that person set boundaries.

Speaker 1 35:12

And also make sure they feel comfortable setting boundaries.

Speaker 2 35:21

I that person set boundaries and also make sure they feel comfortable setting boundaries. I agree, create a comfortable environment.

Speaker 1 35:24

Yeah, I think we did good. That felt good off the off the dome all right.

Speaker 2 35:25

Matt's like damn we're really good sometimes. Sometimes we answer a question.

Speaker 1 35:27

I'm like get a drink and a half and matt and he's like oh God, are we the best advice givers that have ever existed?

Speaker 2 35:37

All right, pineapples down, let's go ahead and break into orange strawberry. This should be sponsored so badly.

Speaker 1 35:43

Why. Just think of the all the airspace that this has gotten Matt, we're nobody, I guess. If you keep up your TikTok game, though.

Speaker 2 35:56

I don't know yeah.

Speaker 1 35:58

Sunny D could be calling.

Speaker 2 35:59

You want to try orange strawberry?

Speaker 1 36:00

Sure.

Speaker 2 36:01

It's okay.

Speaker 1 36:04

Oh.

Speaker 2 36:08

I'm offended by the smell of it. Oh, that's a hard no for me, an absolute over my dead body. No, and I love strawberry. Yeah, the strawberry taste isn't bad, but the smell, I will agree. The smell something about the orange strawberry smell offensive like it smells a little bit like a diaper to me yeah, it's, that's what I was thinking like.

Speaker 2 36:34

That's terrible taste is fine, but the smell really gets you when it put it like I don't know my stomach, I would have put this as probably like number one or two on my expected I think the orange is really the only one they should be putting out the orange is great, the pineapple, if you like pineapple, I think is really good, and this, uh, the orange strawberry needs work, just in the aroma department oh, oh, can you get it further away from me?

Speaker 1 37:03

you can't possibly still smell it yeah, but it's the looking at it kind of freaking me out, okay anyway this is somebody texting us about inside out too, where on we is one of the emotions and we used it, as is one of the emotions and we used it as a word of the week. I really want to go see Inside Out 2. That's actually something I wanted to do this week.

Speaker 2 37:20

So not a question, but they were just commenting that ennui was used.

Speaker 1 37:25

And so they. We love an applicable word of the week. We really do.

Speaker 2 37:28

Yeah, hey, it's Emily. I've written to you in emails, but decided to try messaging, since you guys said you were sad that no one was using it.

Speaker 1 37:38

well, people are using it now you guys have showed up. We appreciate. It's awesome. It's a very good system.

Speaker 2 37:41

I think I have a burning question. Do you know who chapel roan, aka the midwest princess, is? Thoughts, comments, opinions.

Speaker 1 37:48

It's not, please listen. That's where we're.

Speaker 2 37:50

She's from where we're from yeah, it's an hour drive, we're not from willard, but, like she's, from the area that we're from yeah which is crazy.

Speaker 1 37:59

Uh, the music video for hot to go, apparently, is in springfield oh, that's funny I haven't watched it. Jc was just talking about it this weekend, though she's like I was like there's where I grew up, there's where I worked after college, there's blah, blah, blah. So so now we should go watch it.

Speaker 1 38:14

We really should watch it, and then Pink Pony Club I was telling you guys, this is about a club in WeHo that I went with Albert to while I was out there which it's a very famous club, like it's not if people have gone out in WeHo, you've probably been there. But that was weird too. I was like, oh wow, I like feel like I really know what's going on here. But yeah, we know who chapel ron is we do I think I'm gonna go see her when she's here.

Speaker 1 38:44

Maybe we have a friend who got seats oh cool who. She said she had an extra ticket and I was like, oh, can I go with you? But she didn't invite me, like I don't think that she has a problem taking me. But I was like, make sure I'm who you want to take before I, like, insert myself on your extra ticket.

Speaker 2 39:02

So we'll see you're on the short list though.

Speaker 1 39:05

I'm on the short list but I did not get tickets. I literally like people fight for tickets and queues and stuff my worst nightmare. I would rather pay. No, I hate it that it gives me so much anxiety. People are like oh yeah, I fought over this and that and I was on the computer.

Speaker 2 39:23

I'm like nope yeah, if they were like tickets release at midnight, you'd be like I'd rather wait in line.

Speaker 1 39:29

I missed that by three days.

Speaker 2 39:30

I wonder if they still have any and they don't yeah, but like that's you, yeah, yeah, you're not the I'm not a sold out show, girly.

Speaker 1 39:38

My sister's really good though, so she usually gets me tickets to the sold out shows. Got it, she's. She'll sit in a queue. I'll wait in line Like I would go.

Speaker 2 39:49

Yeah, I would go do that.

Speaker 1 39:50

That's not a problem.

Speaker 2 39:51

Like a time traveler.

Speaker 1 39:53

A bunch of people did that for.

Speaker 2 39:55

Chapel.

Speaker 1 39:56

Roan and for Post Malone, because they were afraid that they wouldn't make it in the queue, and so they went as soon as the box office opened to get them in person.

Speaker 2 40:05

Yeah, I suppose there's probably a certain amount that are physically yeah.

Speaker 1 40:09

Yeah, brilliant.

Speaker 2 40:10

Yeah, especially I wish I had postie tickets. Yeah, yeah, brilliant. Yeah, especially in the day where I wish I had postie tickets.

Speaker 1 40:14

Yeah, I'm really jealous. Caroline got postie tickets. Anybody know, anybody I'm like, can you get us some postie tickets? That's funny, I'll pay for them.

Speaker 2 40:24

Sure, sure, I know, yeah, you're not looking for them for free.

Speaker 1 40:28

No, I'm not looking for anything free. I will happily pay for them you're just like, I don't I don't show up on time to get things that are highly exclusive.

Speaker 2 40:38

No, I'm like yeah I'm like those people definitely wanted it more like good for you, yeah, I can think of things that you knew were releasing, that you just like, didn't set alarms for or just checked out on yeah, I'm like you know what? It wasn't meant for me like they didn't stock enough for people like me.

Speaker 1 40:56

That was like taylor sweat eras, when everybody was like I was like I would love to go. Like that sounds like the concert of the century. And then everybody was like, oh yeah, I was in, I'm like I'm out like I had uh three computers up, like yeah constantly refreshing. I'm like, I am out.

Speaker 2 41:14

Yeah, I wrote my own custom bot to try and buy tickets. You're like, never mind, yeah, I'm good.

Speaker 1 41:19

Like I just I can't jump through that many hoops to be a fan of anyone. Yeah, like I'm cheering for you. Good job, taylor. For sure. Good job Posty, good job Chapel. I'm really proud of all of y'all we love to support the artists.

Speaker 2 41:32

We're just not the first ones to do it.

Speaker 1 41:34

No.

Speaker 2 41:38

Yeah, this is just a text telling this. You know that the crime that we would commit to stop a crime forever, they said, littering, which is a really savvy move. That's a really good one Also like not that destructive of a thing if you do it just once. Yeah, that's really good, that's a really heads up, heads up look at me over here saying kicking puppies.

Speaker 1 41:59

Yeah, my mind's broken yeah, that's brilliant, you know it's good to stop that, though yeah, but it would hurt me yeah, I mean not as much as the dog, but no I'll never stop saying that after your video of the billion dollars.

Speaker 2 42:17

That, yes, one of our most viral videos of all time. Me talking about how it would hurt me to hate you with a car.

Speaker 1 42:25

Yeah, which was not even the question. He, like, upped the violence tenfold and then talked about how it would hurt him.

Speaker 2 42:42

Yeah, yep, that's you know me, that's my thing. Violent, yeah, all right, another one. I have a 10 month old and I'm sure, as you know, it's a constant battle managing sleep with little ones. Just wondering what your hot take on sleep training is and if y'all sleep trained your babies no, hot, take on it.

Speaker 1 42:54

I don't think sleep training is crazy, um I really don't, as long as it's done within um reasonable yeah means um as long as the safety of everybody involved is. We did not sleep train, but that's just like we just have had good sleepers. Like our youngest doesn't even like to be held when he goes into his room to go to bed no, he's turned into this like at his bedtime.

Speaker 2 43:27

He just gets kind of like upset and then you pack him up ready to go to sleep and he will push off you to get into his bed yeah, he doesn't want to be rocked, he doesn't want to be comforted.

Speaker 1 43:38

No, no singing songs, he's like, put me to sleep, no snuggles like he just wants to be laid down he gets mad until you put the sleep sack on him and then he's like all right, it's happening yeah, he's like let's rock and roll game time he'll put his hands behind his head and he's out.

Speaker 2 43:55

I forgot about that.

Speaker 1 43:56

Yeah, he puts his head.

Speaker 2 43:58

He literally, as you carry him to his room, puts his hands behind his head as though he's laying down in your arms.

Speaker 1 44:04

Yeah.

Speaker 2 44:05

And so all that to say we don't have good advice, there's nothing we did to make it that way we just have good sleepers and she was a good sleeper, but she was definitely not as easy to put down he is yeah, we had more of a routine with her. Yes, yeah and it's yeah. We we have not had to do sleep training where it's like you know, don't go in there for 45 minutes, or whatever it is.

Speaker 1 44:30

I don't think anyone goes that long. I don't know. It's like 10 minutes. Is it 10 minutes? Like it's not? Yeah, I don't know we ever had to push it. We haven't had to go through. That is yeah point.

Speaker 2 44:39

But there is a point where they do have to learn to self-soothe a little bit and um, our, our kids have been fairly adaptable to it so but sleep training like. The important thing is, if you're not getting sleep, you're not showing up your best as a parent either.

Speaker 1 44:55

I agree with that.

Speaker 2 44:55

And so it's really important that you also balance your own well-being, because being absolutely beaten down is not going to put you in a state to be the best parent you can be the rest of the day, and so make sure you prioritize yourself, like that is something that really can go by the wayside if you have a tough sleeper and all my friends who have sleep trained for the most part have had awesome experiences.

Speaker 2 45:22

So I think anything done within reason yes, yeah, they also have a non-serious question. Would you rather always have wet socks or always have popcorn kernel teeth, or popcorn kernels stuck in your teeth?

Speaker 1 45:42

I think a popcorn kernel.

Speaker 2 45:45

You think so?

Speaker 1 45:46

Yeah, because I literally can't think of something worse than my feet being wet all the time.

Speaker 2 45:51

There is technically a well you know what. Actually, there's probably a health issue with both of these, but constantly having wet socks would just give you trench foot, which is what they got in, like World War I in the trenches and your feet like rot and fall apart.

Speaker 2 46:04

It's really not good for you, I'm assuming, not from a health perspective, but also having like a kernel stuck in your teeth would probably like create an abscess or an infection. So so having like a kernel stuck in your teeth would probably like create an abscess or an infection. So neither one of these are good things health wise, but assuming there's no health issues, Wet socks in bed.

Speaker 1 46:24

Matt Wet socks in the shower. Wet socks to go swimming.

Speaker 2 46:33

Yeah, that is tough. I just I know if I had a kernel in my teeth wet socks in your shoes. Wet socks in your boots I would just constantly be like I think you'd get used to it I think you would get used to either one you, you would.

Speaker 1 46:52

There is no way you cannot gaslight me. I'm going to make you wear wet socks for a full day and tell me when you get used to it Like.

Speaker 2 47:01

Yeah.

Speaker 1 47:02

I'm going to have like tons of pairs soaked and ready and like you have to change them every hour so that they're sopping wet all the time.

Speaker 2 47:10

If we do that, we need to video it.

Speaker 1 47:12

Okay, because that's a real, that's a real content miss if we don't do that.

Speaker 2 47:19

I just think you're wrong like wet socks.

Speaker 1 47:20

Yeah, like a colonel's not good, it's terrible I'm not arguing that, but wet socks on your furniture, wet socks like over concrete, wet socks through mulch yeah, you go to to the DMV and your feet are just dripping.

Speaker 2 47:35

Yeah, it's not great. It's probably got to be kernels, You're not wrong. Terrible Also for someone who's starting from ground zero. What are a few steps you'd suggest for someone who wants to do content creation as a job? Thinking, lifestyle, family, cooking?

Speaker 1 47:49

Consistency. Yeah, that's the number one thing is you have to show up consistently. It doesn't mean you have to show up like I feel, like a lot of people are, like you need to show up three times a day, seven days a week, blah, blah, blah, blah. Um, and coming from somebody that is not consistent in this season and it has majorly impacted, like my views and my uh reach and things like that, I think that that's the main reason I've also I feel like not been, as my content has not had the same quality that it once had either, like there are multiple reasons, but I think consistency is the number one thing.

Speaker 1 48:25

And so, if you think what you're capable of showing up with is posting once a week, start there. If it's two times a week, start there, but really stick with it. Um, it's consistency.

Speaker 2 48:40

Yeah, and have a point of view, have like understand what you're bringing to the table and what your value is, um, and know that you'll get better.

Speaker 1 48:49

Yeah, like I think a lot of people think they watch other people and it looks so easy because it's not like a physical feat, it's not something that requires specialized education or anything like that, but it's a skill and it takes a long time to learn how to talk to a camera. It takes a lot of time to learn how to edit, filming light, things like that. There are a lot of pieces to the puzzle that I feel not everybody has.

Speaker 2 49:18

uh and I've watched somebody do it for years and I'm still not that good at like a lot of it yeah, well it.

Speaker 1 49:26

It takes a lot of skills, so give yourself grace too, and that like it's going to take consistency and learning how to do it, also like it's a new skill yeah and absolutely go for it.

Speaker 1 49:38

Anybody that's telling you it's too saturated, there's not room in the market, there's not this, there's not that, whatever your perspective, like everybody, has a unique perspective and story to tell, and so I think there's just as much opportunity for you as there is anybody else and you should go for it, and also the people that make fun of you.

Speaker 1 49:57

Like, if that's a concern, maybe it's not to you, maybe you have all wonderful supportive people in your life, but I think the thing I hear over and over again from people who are wanting to get into it and I hear it from people talking to me all the time they'll be like oh well, so-and-so, they're like a wannabe influencer. Well, they post like they're an influencer. Like people will be talking to me and saying that about someone and I'm like that's awesome. That's where everyone starts. Like, no one that has made it is going to be critical of you in that, because anybody who has made it into like the influencer sphere had to start somewhere too, and you showing up consistently and sharing your life in that way is a huge feat in and of itself, regardless of what the follower number is or the performances or if they are doing that.

Speaker 1 50:48

It's just gatekeeping like yeah, if somebody's made it it might just be mean yeah, they're just not very nice, and I've never talked with anybody like I haven't had that experience.

Speaker 2 50:58

I'm just saying like if you do have that experience that somebody who's you know trying to shut the gate behind them.

Speaker 1 51:06

Yeah, they had to start there also everybody I know in the content world, like anybody you've ever seen me make a video with anybody I've ever been around I think would cheer for somebody just starting. I can't think of anyone that wouldn't, and so know that that's few and far between yeah, hey, matt and joe.

Speaker 2 51:24

I'm a mom to a three-year-old and I'm due to have another baby girl next month. What was your biggest tip from going one to two? Kind of nervous but super excited.

Speaker 1 51:35

I feel like we had a really smooth transition. We did. I think the biggest tip is just be prepared for a little bit of chaos for a minute.

Speaker 2 51:45

Yeah.

Speaker 1 51:54

Expectations low and don't expect too much out of yourself and take lots of pictures and enjoy it. Mean like that really is. My advice is like all of it is fleeting, and I think that's my advice to any parent that's about to embark on a season that they know is going to be a little harder. Is it's fleeting, it's it's short. The good stuff and the bad stuff, like ask for help where you can and the bad stuff, like ask for help where you can.

Speaker 2 52:20

You've got it. Yeah, I don't know, I guess I mean we have a three-year-old now. Um, I think it would just be having conversations with her, you know, just making sure that, talking to them about what they're feeling and experiencing, and you know I think it would be easier well, I mean, I think your communication is so much better, so it's, I mean, it's highly dependent on who your three-year-old is and how they handle like new competition for attention.

Speaker 2 52:43

Like there'd be a lot of aspects that I know our three-year-old would be like hey, like baby's cool, but like I'm over here, yeah, I think it in ways that would be an easier gap because there is more helpful hands. Oh yeah, you can absolutely. I mean, I think, as much as you can include them.

Speaker 1 53:01

Right.

Speaker 2 53:01

Try and include them.

Speaker 1 53:02

A friend was talking about this last night. She's about to have her third and she has two that are a little bit older. Like they're both independent, they can make some of their own meals.

Speaker 1 53:18

Not that they are, but like if they wake up first in the morning they can get themselves breakfast or like a snack or you know whatever. Turn the TV on stuff like that. And she's about to have her third and she was saying to her husband I guess she was like man, I cannot believe I'm about to do this again where, like this baby's not going to be able to get their own snack, like I made it to this independent phase and I'm going to go back, and what her husband said to her is but you've never had hands before, you've never been in that season with little kids that could go grab the snack or, you know, help in that way and so I thought that was really cool advice too, because there are obviously things that will be hard about it.

Speaker 1 53:53

thought that was really cool advice too, because there are obviously things that will be hard about it, but it's a completely new experience every time, because the different, like having kids already, etc, etc.

Speaker 2 54:02

It just all changes the dynamics and there are always pros and cons well and kids love to help and be involved I agree and so, as long as you can be patient and be okay with, like you know, a three-year-old doing stuff wrong or not understanding what you need, like, including them will help them. It will help you. And then, yeah, just lean on your community and do your best. Yeah, I agree Like it's going to be chaotic, but it's going to be really good.

Speaker 1 54:34

I agree, congratulations. Yeah, I agree.

Speaker 2 54:37

Like it's going to be chaotic, but it's going to be really good, I agree, congratulations. Yeah, excited, all right, this one's short and sweet, what has been the best phase of your life so far.

Speaker 1 54:44

Ooh, that's a great question.

Speaker 2 54:47

Good question.

Speaker 1 54:48

Um, I mean I, I know the right answers, my kids, I mean I know the right answer is my kids Like.

Speaker 2 54:57

I know that that's like. Politically correct Can't go wrong being like my kids and a mom, but I really, I think that I really had a high through our engagement and like planning my bachelorette and that season with my friends.

Speaker 1 55:13

I really look back fondly on that, Like I really loved that time like 2018, 19, when we were building the house.

Speaker 2 55:22

Yeah, and we went to Italy.

Speaker 1 55:26

It was just a very selfish season and I Miss that. I enjoyed it greatly. Yeah, I don't know that I miss it. Sure, like I don't know that, I would say I miss it greatly. Yeah, I don't know that I miss it. Sure, like I don't know that I would say I miss it. But I look back on it fondly like I'm really happy where I am right now and.

Speaker 1 55:42

I actually feel like I'm finally kind of settling back into a really good spot where I feel good and like excited every day again and I definitely in the last couple of years have struggled with postpartum depression and just juggling a lot of things, like I've been doing a lot of things and none of them that well, and I feel like I'm coming out of that a little bit, which is really refreshing. But I look back and I see myself in those years I was doing a lot less things than I was doing the things I was taking part in really, really well and I felt really proud.

Speaker 2 56:19

I think I have the same time period. Honestly what 27, 28, 29 for me I guess it would be, which unfortunately does line up right before we had kids and I'm I love being a dad Like it is phenomenal outside of that that has made things complicated. Like our kids are awesome being parents feels really intuitive most of the time, and then sometimes it is like very difficult and annoying well and like, if I look at all the aspects individually that have been going on.

Speaker 1 56:59

I have like renovating the house was awesome, the kids have been awesome, like I mean, there were parts of renovating the house that were not awesome, don't get me wrong yeah but, like when I look at all the different individual things we've been able to do, I'm really grateful for all of them. I just think we bit off more than we could chew at once.

Speaker 2 57:14

Yeah, we didn't need to do them all at one time yeah and that's where, like I think we've always talked about, we could do two out of three Right, like we could have family stuff and kids and renovate and do content.

Speaker 2 57:34

We could do two or three of those at a time Doing all four of them at a time is a little bit too full of a plate and so, but yeah, I think back to those times where it was really not complicated, like we were busy, but it was all us and it was, you know, we could bite off as much as we wanted to chew and for the most part we could chew it, and so I think that's part we were still taking on a ton yeah it was just yeah but it was just, it was just us, and so it was like okay, if we slow down, it's just us yeah whereas now we have a lot more moving parts but I'm excited about the seasons that are coming up, like I feel like oh yeah it is.

Speaker 1 58:15

I have loved little kids a lot. I don't feel like you have the same sentiment. I don't think that you don't love them sure but like I don't think you're a newborn baby, no guy like and I think that's a lot of people. I talk to a lot of moms that are that way.

Speaker 2 58:31

I love it like I'm like Rory's, just getting to the point where you're having a lot of fun.

Speaker 1 58:36

I'm getting into it, yeah uh, and so that, I think, is interesting too, because I think when we're both in a good spot, everything gets a heck of a lot easier for both of us, for sure, for sure.

Speaker 2 58:51

Yeah, honestly, right now it's kind of funny we talk about that One of the struggles I have right now is like I'm engaging more with Rory, our son, who's a year and a half, pretty close to anyway, and I feel like I have a gap because I haven't engaged as much when he was smaller and so with G it was different because she was the only one and so it was like I was there and I was the only option, but I've deferred way too much to her the three-year-old, you know, two and a half year old, um, when he was little, and so he's he's way more in with mom, because mom has been into the phase that he's been in and I'm like, okay, I'll go do lunch with you know the toddler kind of deal, and so like I have more of a rapport to build with him and that's been like, oh, okay, yeah, you have to you're seeing the impact?

Speaker 2 59:48

yeah, you have to show up when they're nine months old for them to, at a year and a half, be like hey, that guy, and he's still great.

Speaker 1 59:57

Yeah, he still likes his dad but yes if we're talking about who's number one, it's mom yeah and it's not close but I think that they were both kind of that way at that age yeah, I mean, mom is just a big part of their life. Early just I feel like I had more well and more of a feel for her when she was that age, you were working true and so she was with me all day yeah, but I think I was more novel to her then too. Yeah.

Speaker 2 1:00:24

It was like more of an event when dad was home. Yeah. I agree Now dad's home and just not as engaged with him.

Speaker 1 1:00:29

Yeah, I agree.

Speaker 2 1:00:30

Which is? I mean, that's a personal shortfall, not like what is my baby doing.

Speaker 1 1:00:35

No, I'm not taking it that way. What's wrong with this guy?

Speaker 2 1:00:37

Yeah, it doesn't look like no, but I am like noticing that a little bit, which is, again, there's a lot of reasons for it. It doesn't upset me.

Speaker 1 1:00:47

I'm just like, oh okay, gotta, gotta show up well, and I I had this conversation with somebody recently talking about how you put so much pressure or I don't know, you probably don't. I think this is a mom thing you put so much pressure on you to like, cultivate and create this really magical childhood for your children and I keep forgetting how little they are. Like I'm like I need to fit it all in, they need to have magic, but I'm like they're little, like we have a lot of time to establish, you know um daily rituals that stick with them for life, and not not that we can push it aside, not that we can kick the can down, but like I don't need to feel like a failure of what I have accomplished so far not being enough, like I still have more years to continue to cultivate and create those things for them and especially like at his age, everything's magic right like.

Speaker 2 1:01:41

Especially like at his age. Everything's magic Right, like the dishwasher popping open when the cycle's done. That's magic to him. Like the world is mind blowing Right, and so it's all like you can do something incredible. And I don't think they have a frame of reference for like. Oh, that was spectacular compared to like I saw a bird today. And that also blew my mind, like they don't have a frame of reference for scale Right, so I don't know if that makes you feel better or worse, but I don't know.

Speaker 2 1:02:14

Deep thoughts. One more Sunny deep thoughts.

Speaker 1 1:02:17

One more question.

Speaker 2 1:02:19

One more question. All right, long time listener, but I was afraid of recording my voice and so the text feels a lot less scary. My fiance and I are getting married in September. We're currently planning out our budget and monthly expenses. My fiance's budget is salary, but I'm hourly, so my income depends on how much I work. We plan to save 20% of our income, but we're wondering if you had any advice for budgeting well and sticking to a budget.

Speaker 1 1:02:49

How do you all budget and what tips do you have for newlyweds? I feel like I'm the worst to ask budgeting questions for, because I reverse budget yeah, which is like not uh, it's a privilege to be able to budget how I budget, so I budget our savings, not our. Also, we're not big spenders no, so I think that also aids in this as well.

Speaker 1 1:03:06

Um, I budget our savings, not our spending. So what I mean by that is I have tracked, like our bottom line, like what is our minimum out each month, and I know what that number is. So let's say like utilities your rent your utilities, your insurance, your all those is a thousand dollars a month, which I know is not like a great deal I would.

Speaker 1 1:03:32

I would hammer that yeah, so I know that I need to have a thousand dollars a month set aside to be toward those like main expenses. That's the first number I figure out.

Speaker 2 1:03:45

Then from there I only budget my savings yeah um, and then anything left over I spent freely yeah, that is, I think, a perspective where, if you do have enough income that you're able to have like disposable income and you're trying to figure out where to allocate that, that's where determining what your savings goals are is going to help you more than. How much do we like, what percentage we put here and here.

Speaker 1 1:04:15

It's like if you meet your savings goals, then you can talk about where you want to prioritize well, and I just don't do a like if my number one, it's kind of like what we talked about earlier with priorities. People are different. Some people are not trying to save, they're trying to save something, don't get me wrong. But like saving now is way more important to me than going on the vacation while the kids are little, just because that's my priority right now and so like, does that make sense?

Speaker 1 1:04:50

like I have a tendency like to just say no, we can't do anything else because yeah, you're very much long-term perspective yeah, yes, so some people are like we're gonna live and do this now also with the hourly and, like a, if you have a varying income from an hourly, I would do all of your budgeting off of what your minimum is. So if you, on average, work 40 hours a week, but sometimes it's lower, I would do all your budgeting off of 30 hours a week or whatever, it is sure. Um.

Speaker 2 1:05:24

And then the weeks that you work more than that, toss that money that went over into savings or toward debt or you know um or build it up for a fund of like we're gonna do a vacation or I'm gonna do some purchase that you're looking forward to, exactly like it depends on what you know, yeah, but I think that that's always good, because then your lifestyle is set for what you're looking forward to, exactly Like it depends on what you know, yeah, but I think that that's always good, because then your lifestyle is set for what you're guaranteed to make and the rest is bonus, rather than feeling stressed when you don't get the hours.

Speaker 2 1:05:51

Yeah, I don't know. Yeah, that is the right way to structure it, for sure. Advice for newlyweds it's always communication, but if you don't live together, that's the hardest part.

Speaker 1 1:06:10

It's like learning to live together, learning different people's routines, determining how to like actually cohabitate is the biggest part, and we give this advice. We've given this advice a hundred times on this podcast, but I think having a weekly meeting like a set guaranteed time that you talk about that stuff and you come to the table prepared to constructively talk to each other about issues you're experiencing. Living together?

Speaker 2 1:06:31

um is night and day and don't be afraid to table an issue, like if something gets really elevated, do your best to try and like, table it and come back to it when maybe emotions aren't as high, because you're you're going to stand a way better chance of reaching a resolution if you can take the elevated, like defensive feelings out of things and don't take that as we do that perfectly. No, we do none of that perfectly, but we do it sometimes.

Speaker 1 1:07:02

Sometimes we just get really angry um and and we blow up and we get frustrated each other back and forth and freak out until somebody's so mad.

Speaker 2 1:07:13

You know like we also do that I just it's so important to me when we're talking about relationships and marriage that we're so transparent about that because, I mean, we also I feel like we do a lot of really good communicating I really do, we really try out it, but like we have, we both have spaces where communicating is not our strength and that we're both really sensitive, I mean like anybody. Yeah, I think yeah, like my like, I'm not well tuned to my emotions and so I can't always provide good, strong dialogue in the moment of what I'm experiencing.

Speaker 1 1:07:51

And I'm an external processor? Yes, and so I have to, which is Matt's nightmare.

Speaker 2 1:07:56

She's an external processor and I'm way too defensive, and so, as she says things that she doesn't totally mean but are mainly just like a 45% concocted thought in her brain, I'm putting ideas out there.

Speaker 2 1:08:09

Yeah, she's like slowly building to a thought as she goes and says things that offend me because I'm easily offendable I'm like, well, not true, nope, not how that happened. Nope, don't say that that's not okay. And like, well, not true, nope, not how that happened. Nope, don't say that that's not okay. And like she's like this isn't even what I'm thinking, I'm just getting there and yeah, so we have that somewhat regularly.

Speaker 1 1:08:32

Which I totally. It makes sense to me why that's so hard. I'm like that's fair.

Speaker 2 1:08:36

Yeah. It's not always like, why are you doing that? It's like okay, but like you know me, like can we just get past that and do the thing?

Speaker 1 1:08:46

Can I get to where I'm going Because I'm not doing a good job, but anyway. I always think that's a really good thing for us to say to you, because I think, to some point, I think the main thing you want to look out for is are you guys both always working toward the same main goal? Yeah because even when we really blow up and are frustrated with each other, I have always been confident that we are working toward the same main goal yeah, we're.

Speaker 2 1:09:13

We're always on the same team. Now somebody might be in an absolute somebody, being me often like in a bad mental space or a self-destructive space, and so like you may not be saying the same things or feeling the same things, but usually your intention for where you're headed as a couple or a family or whatever are in alignment, or hopefully are. And if they're not, that's what you got to work on I agree, I completely agree well, good luck I drank.

Speaker 1 1:09:48

How feel, feel this, let's, let's have matt okay, so this is a 12 ounce can uh-huh, how much do you think I drank?

Speaker 2 1:09:55

I mean a solid three and a half ounces that's what I was gonna say.

Speaker 1 1:09:59

Three, I think three and a half was generous.

Speaker 2 1:10:01

Yeah, I was being nice, I was going to say three. I think three and a half was generous.

Speaker 1 1:10:03

Yeah, I was being nice, I was trying to get you close to a third. Yeah, I didn't. I don't think it is.

Speaker 2 1:10:06

Maybe if they filled it, overfilled it, it'd be a third.

Speaker 1 1:10:10

I prefer my water.

Speaker 2 1:10:11

That's good. I should probably drink some water after this.

Speaker 1 1:10:15

Well, on that note, we love you guys.

Speaker 2 1:10:16

Cheers.

Speaker 1 1:10:17

Bye.