Overthinking with the Overbys
Welcome to Overthinking with The Overbys! In this podcast series, Jo and Matt Overby cover a wide variety of topics—from parenting lessons, life stories, to personal relationships. Take an inside look on the lives of Jo and Matt as they navigate the adventures of adulthood and overthink online.
New episodes available weekly!
Overthinking with the Overbys
Pregnancy Pull-Ups and Political Parenting
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This week we swap stories about our fashion quirks and the hilariously mismatched outfits that make us who we are. From Jo's playful grilling of Matt's love for cozy oversized clothes to tales of "Gumby syndrome" in the family, our conversation offers a humorous take on body image and self-perception. Laugh along as we navigate the complexities of dressing for comfort versus style and attempting pull-ups at 37 weeks pregnant!
Whether we're discussing the art of fitting an access point system in the house or recounting the frenzy of Black Friday shopping, our anecdotes offer a lighthearted glimpse into the joys and challenges of everyday living. Plus, we debate the anxiety-inducing headlines that flood our news feeds and how they shape our perceptions of the world. And we answer questions from the listeners this week, ranging from how to handle different religious and political perspectives in parenting, to how to build community away from home.
Don’t forget to check out our Patreon for more laughs and insights, and keep those questions coming for our future episodes!
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Sweatpants and Body Image
Speaker 1Welcome to Oversharing with Overbees. I'm Jo. And I'm Matt, and each week you can tune in to hear us respond to your voicemails, go in-depth on our lives as content creators and hopefully leave you feeling even better than we found you.
Speaker 2With that being said, let's get to Oversharing.
Speaker 1I've been saving this for the podcast. Why are you wearing only girl outfits? You've been wearing sweatpants with a gray sweatshirt every day for like what feels like the last six years.
Speaker 2Look bad, play bad.
Speaker 1But what's going on? Like your clothes look like they're swallowing you. You're wearing your biggest pants and your biggest sweatshirt together at all times. You look like somebody that's on the worst period of their life. Like I don't. That's a great question, uh, I wasn't ready for this hard-hitting um journalism this early in the podcast. Bad per se, it just like is confusing yeah, just an emotional turmoil is that what it is? No, I don't know oh my gosh, let's talk about it.
Speaker 2What On the podcast?
Speaker 1What kind of emotional turmoil are you experiencing?
Speaker 2Not much. I've just been wearing these sweatpants a lot.
Speaker 1I know, and they're mine, aren't they?
Speaker 2Well, they're ours.
Speaker 1I thought they were. They're my Elwood ones, aren't?
Speaker 2they, they are, they are, they were they're my old ones aren't.
Speaker 1They are. They are you like? They're huge. They're so big I had to order a size up because they didn't fit me, so thank you sir, oh, okay um these surely fit you yeah, those fit me yeah but I ordered a size below that because everybody talked about how big they are and they were too tight.
Speaker 2Yeah.
Speaker 1I run into that with sweatpants a lot though, fair enough, you have jacked legs. Yeah, it's my jacked legs that are the problem.
Speaker 2You got like a 600-pound squat. They're not that big, it's like you and Jayla Hertz.
Speaker 1Like they're supposed to fit oversized. But I have to get them.
Speaker 2I'm assuming that's why you ordered them bigger though, so that they had an oversized fit they're loose around my, my behind.
Speaker 1You must have to cinch the drawstring down, though Cause like.
Speaker 2Even I have to cinch the drawstring down and your waist is way smaller than mine. I'll tell you that.
Speaker 1Yeah, but I have to like they don't make very. I don't know. I need room in the the wagon, you know.
Speaker 2Should I stand up so people can really see the grout fit?
Speaker 1Yeah, do you want to stand up and give a little display of the pants? Look at how big they are, says Matt. I also think a lot of times like I look at your legs and I'm like Matt's legs are huge, like you're very like muscly. And they're big. And then I try on your pants, like I have tried on your pants before, and it's devastating because I'm like are my? I'm actually, I am bigger than you at the hip and in the legs at the quad like, yeah, they're tight around my leg too.
Speaker 2I think that's more that because your hip is wider, it's leaving you less quad room.
Speaker 1Oh, okay.
Speaker 2Yeah.
Speaker 1It's fine. It is what it is. Sure I don't really struggle with.
Speaker 2We don't usually share pants.
Speaker 1No, and I don't struggle with looking in the mirror and thinking I look any kind of way or bad. It's just interesting how all of it is perception, I guess.
Speaker 2Yeah, for a man, I have big legs Because.
Speaker 1I don't think of myself. This is going to sound unhinged, probably to people.
Speaker 2I'm excited.
Speaker 1But when Caroline and I stand next to one another, I don't think of us as very different sizes.
Speaker 2That is unhinged, you're correct.
Speaker 1And I think part of it is, I think, that we are just both very healthy versions of our body, fair, so I don't think about it much beyond that.
Speaker 2That's probably good.
Speaker 1But we are like extremely different sizes.
Speaker 2Yes. Like aggressively different sizes you can feel like a Caroline and a half inside of you.
Speaker 1Yeah.
Speaker 2Yeah.
Speaker 1Wild.
Speaker 2It is wild, but that's that's just bodies. Also just to continue this.
Speaker 1my sister has lost a lot of weight for the second time and, uh, she now has, you know, and she now has, you know, made the switch with all of her clothes. Her clothes are too small for me. It officially happened Devastating. Like we can share some things, but a lot of her stuff's.
Speaker 2Yeah.
Speaker 1She's a lot smaller than me, which we've said since we were kids.
Speaker 2I was going to say frame-wise, she's smaller. That's what.
Speaker 1I was going to say is we've always said, frame wise she's smaller than me, but it, uh, it was a not that she's small, but like no, I mean she's taller than me yeah she's 5 10, but she's just not.
Speaker 2I'm like I don't know broad I got bones baby we got yeah shoulders, I got a frame.
Speaker 1Yeah, she's sturdy you and me both yeah, and my sisters neither are like very sturdy yeah, no must be from my mom, your one sister's actively falling apart that's a whole different issue. That's unrelated. Yeah, she's got like a disease that her body's falling apart I think it's like gumby syndrome or something in a way that it's like making it sound so much more cruel, like that you're not being mean, but it sounds like you're being an absolute jerk, I'm not even that far off, though.
Speaker 1Yeah, I don't know what it is. It's like her bones are disintegrating.
Speaker 2Her bones are disintegrating and her ligaments are too stretchy, or something I don't know.
Speaker 1She's like super stretchy.
Speaker 2Think of like a inflatable tube man. Um, that's like how she can move.
Speaker 1Yeah, we did like different mobility things at thanksgiving and she could do everything and she's so long and tall and it's not like she's stretching, no, no maybe we don't know she was was a dancer 20 years ago. Yeah, but like maybe that helps. I don't know that it lasts that long, but sure I feel like swimming has lasted me like a lifetime, of my body composition being different, like I think I was already.
Speaker 2I think you were a good swimmer because your body composition was different.
Casual Conversation on Pregnancy and Outfits
Speaker 1I know. But I genuinely think like yeah, I mean like there's no way if I hadn't, even with my body composition, there's no way if I hadn't slammed that, I could still do pull-ups. I want to go try and do a pull-up today.
Speaker 2Oh, my God, why do you only do this when you're pregnant?
Speaker 1I'm not pregnant enough that I think it's an issue. Do you think I'm pregnant enough that it's an issue. Do you think I already?
Speaker 2Not yet it's an issue. Okay, do you think I'm pregnant enough that it's an?
Speaker 1issue.
Speaker 2Do you think I already not yet I'm wanting to do it when I'm not pregnant, but we always forget until I'm too pregnant and then well, yeah, you also have to wait for a while after you're pregnant or you're gonna like tear something and I can't do it.
Speaker 1It's already torn right, yeah, you can probably do one I think I could do one right now too I think maybe we could try, if you can get me up on the um the beam outside it feels like a bad idea.
Speaker 2Like I know it supports you. It supports like the house right I just don't like the idea.
Speaker 1Oh okay, then we won't do that. Yeah, it's okay. I don't want to freak you out, we can drive to the park go do it in public, like we did last time, wouldn't be the first time what was it?
Speaker 2how many weeks pregnant were?
Speaker 1you the first time you tried 37. 37, I was really pregnant. We were going to have a baby within a month.
Speaker 2I feel like you were super pregnant and you were just so convinced you could still do a pull-up and I was like you don't have any core and you're like I've got this and you hung on that bar. You just hung there and then you're like, wait a second, I do need my core to be able to like activate my lats and everything Like I was so pregnant too, like I'm carrying like 20 pounds off the front.
Speaker 2Yeah, you might as well have been wearing like a 35 pound vest. Hasn't done a pull up in probably three years. No, that's not true, that's not true.
Speaker 1One year One year probably. Okay, anyway, not actively training, that's for sure but that's just always been my yeah, my talent party trick I can always pump out five, five to eight pull-ups that's why we don't go to parties anymore shut up. I don't actually whip that out at parties like yeah, because nobody has a pull-up bar.
Speaker 2I did it, I did I did it at one wedding that's true there were guys, it was a military wedding. It was air force, wasn't it?
Speaker 1yeah, and the guys were doing pull-ups and I was like I can do that, and they were like yeah and I, I did do it you did it, you crushed it I crushed it what'd you five I don't know.
Speaker 2Anyway, but I don't think.
Speaker 1If I had not swam, I don't think I'd be able to do that.
Speaker 2Yeah.
Speaker 1I don't think that's just. I do think that I am more naturally inclined to be able to build muscle mass in that way. I understand what you're saying, but I just, I don't know.
Speaker 2Yeah.
Speaker 1Whatever? It's fine, I successfully deflected away from my elephant outfit. So Elephant outfit, I like that.
Speaker 2If I had a trunk right now perfect elephant outfit.
Speaker 1It would look like you were. Well, that's the thing about every time I see you.
Speaker 2I'm like, is he doing an outfit?
Speaker 1Like I don't.
Speaker 2Is he?
Speaker 1dressed up as a gray ghost yeah.
Speaker 2Like I don't, Is he dressed up as a gray ghost? Yeah, you're normally very fashionable and, like the grays, don't quite match they're so close, but they're not exactly right, but they're not, so it doesn't look like it's like, but on camera it's fine.
Speaker 1But it doesn't look like a set, you know Like it doesn't look like. It's like they're different weights of fabric.
Speaker 2Right, this they're different weights of fabric. Right, this is like a super heavyweight hoodie and then like a super lightweight pair of pants, so they don't drape the same way, it is true. No, like if it was a set and you were like In a photo. They look coordinating In real life while they move. They don't.
Speaker 1No yeah. I'm telling you like a set would be fine. There are a lot of I don't know, but I also there's a dissonance to it. I get it if, for some reason, this is something you've said, to cry for help if you become really passionate about it and you're like I just really want to do more monochrome looks for christmas. I'm going to order you some sets, not whatever this is I'm looking to see how big clothes can get. Yeah, I see that. Yeah, Is it more comfortable on your body?
Speaker 2Yeah, when I'm not in great shape it does help to have billowy clothes. But I feel like you're billowy.
Speaker 1Yeah, I feel like you're in better shape.
Speaker 2I was, but then.
Speaker 1I feel like you're working your way back fairly quickly.
Speaker 2Yeah, and it's just been a bad few days.
Speaker 1So you decided to go elephante.
Speaker 2Yeah, yeah, okay, when I'm back on the straight and narrow, we'll wear normal clothes again.
Speaker 1I mean, you can dress like an elephant, I don't care, I just wanted to know. You just want like a better elephant outfit.
Speaker 2That's what you're saying.
Speaker 1No, you can wear the bad elephant outfit. I just wanted to have more information fair enough.
Speaker 2Okay, you wanted some background.
Speaker 1Like I don't want you to wear this to like a public event a wedding a wedding we're going to a wedding next week. Please don't pack it um like at all. Don't pack it in the bag.
Speaker 2You can't tell me this isn't a casino fit right here this is this is somebody who, like, is at the casino days at the casino yeah yeah that's not me strung out on drugs at the casino well, if you're gonna be there for days, drugs might help.
Speaker 1Yeah, you know anyway, okay, let's, let's give everybody. This is a episode. Everybody's listening to this, so let's give them an update is it 100?
Speaker 2it's what is it episode 100, or did we have that last time? I?
Speaker 1have we're right around there I'll check, this might be episode 100 guys I don't have context for that at all.
Speaker 2Joe hasn't been keeping track hasn't looked at what we're doing. Episodes wise for a year no let's see, let's see episodes. What he he did again it is this is episode 100. Welcome. Womp, womp, womp, womp, womp, womp, pew, pew, pew, pew, episode 100. I said it worked out on a public episode. Yeah, happy to have you guys here, century mark Means we've been doing it at least two years.
Speaker 1You'd think we'd be getting better with the audio.
Speaker 2We like to wander around. Sometimes it's better, sometimes it's worse.
Speaker 1Yeah.
Speaker 2I thought was it bad last week too.
Speaker 1No, I think we fixed it last week, Okay cool. But I don't know if it was messed up on the last like first of the month episode. Anyway, irrelevant.
Speaker 2Who knows?
Speaker 1November was good. We did a little traveling, we did a little turkey eating, we did a little Thanksgiving at the farm.
Speaker 2Yeah, we took the kids out to the farm. Garty got to drive a tractor.
Speaker 1Yeah, she did, she thought that was awesome.
Speaker 2They got to go look at like giant horses. Yeah really big. They got to go feed some cows Like drafting horses yeah.
Speaker 1They like actually work fields with them Work horses literally. And some cutie little cows.
Speaker 2Yep.
Speaker 1The fluffy ones, Yep and uh, what else. It was fun they got. We got to spend time with family and we got to help JC, my best friend, prep her nursery and around the house. Matt went absolutely bat shit with a steam cleaner.
Speaker 2I mean, I was steam cleaning and I was painting, painting like crazy.
Speaker 1You were light fixturing.
Speaker 2Yep, wired up some lights. Lights are pretty simple, but yeah.
Speaker 1That is what looks the most impressive.
Speaker 2Light fixtures.
Speaker 1Uh-huh.
Speaker 2Really, people are very scared of electricity, which is fair, like you don't want to.
Speaker 1Steam cleaning doesn't look as impressive. No, I would say it probably is one of the more impressive things stain treating impactful, like it has the yeah it does make something pop.
Speaker 2The painting looked really not impressive no, but the before and after was good. Oh, unreal yeah I'm, but I'm.
Speaker 1I participated in the painting and I was like oh, this looks like I'm doing absolutely nothing oh in terms of work sure you didn't look like.
Speaker 2It was like exhausting.
Speaker 1Or that it was like a skill.
Speaker 2Strenuous yeah.
Speaker 1Like it was like oh, put the unskilled people on painting the trim, and I was like noted, that's me.
Speaker 2We did it yeah.
Speaker 1Yeah, but it did look really good when we left.
Speaker 2I was painting with abandon. You were I was painting anything that got in my way.
Speaker 1You were. That's true. Anyway, that was fun though, yeah, and now we are back at home for like a microsecond. We're flipping over the house and getting everything clean so that our house sitter can be here with our puppies. We're stocking fridges. I want to come back to a clean house.
Speaker 2Yeah.
Speaker 1Um, because we're hosting the day that we get back. Oh snap. Yeah, and so I need to get everything prepped and I think we're doing our ornament party the day that we return from our next travels, right?
Speaker 2on.
Speaker 1And so we will be. Um, I'm going to prep everything before we leave.
Speaker 2Cool, okay, well, that sounds good.
Speaker 1Yeah.
Speaker 2It's funny you said that that was fun when we were doing the house. My psych literally asked me today. He's like what have you been doing for fun this last month? And I was like projects, like I think that's what I've been doing for fun. Like I installed that network cabinet. I've been building an IT infrastructure over here at this house.
Speaker 1It's definitely for fun, Like we definitely don't need that.
Speaker 2Well.
Speaker 1No, you really confuse trying to make things abundantly efficient with things we need. Sure Like there are a lot of things that need to get done around the house and you will work on maximizing things that already work.
Speaker 2fine, You're telling me that a network cabinet with a dedicated router and access point system is not a need.
Speaker 1Correct.
Speaker 2Come on now.
Speaker 1Has our internet not been working at any point?
Speaker 2It's been fine. It's actually a little worse right now in one corner of the house because I need one more access point.
Speaker 1Uh-huh, I did make it actively where someone said it was yes.
Speaker 2But it's stable, it's very stable.
Speaker 1But it was stable before.
Speaker 2It was okay before. Okay, you demand peak stability. You get pretty annoyed if anything's not working when?
Speaker 1when was the last time I was annoyed with you about the internet? Not not does not count if it's when you were messing with it to try and make it more efficient no, uh, disney plus.
Speaker 2I don't know what disney plus's problem is, but when when it goes like we have fast internet and it's just like barely streaming but when was the last time I said that to you?
Speaker 1two weeks ago and how frequently do I bring that?
Speaker 2up not very often like it's fine and did I make it into a big deal, or did I just say huh what's going on here and I had to reset it, yeah and it's kind of like I'm realistically, what's happening in here is I am in my pursuit of making something that I never, ever have to deal with, doing massive amounts of work to make something like two percent more reliable well, so that I don't have, and the fix for it being not reliable before was like restarting it, which takes like three minutes while not doing any of the projects that actually need to be done any calling about the parts on our fridge, so that our correct fridge panel can be on that.
Speaker 1I've been asking for for two and a half years, one project you got.
Speaker 2That's the one you got uh, I have more.
Speaker 1Would you like me to continue? Yes the curtains in our bedroom. You said that you were going to get all new hooks for over two years ago, oh my gosh.
Speaker 2They're hanging there right now.
Speaker 1Would you like me to continue?
Home Projects, Reading, and Shopping
Speaker 2or would you like me to stop Sure do?
Speaker 1one more. Okay, the hardware in the pantry, our bathroom, my closet, the office.
Speaker 2I actually have hardware for some of those things Is it on? No, no, I have hardware for some of those things Is it on no, no, you have to be involved in the hardwaring. Like decisions.
Speaker 1Uh-huh, and how hard is it to get me to be involved? Not very, but, but you're using that excuse, hey, I put hardware on a different set of cabinets.
Speaker 2I know that was progress.
Speaker 1And yes, it's massive, it's elevated the space.
Speaker 2I loved it. It's elevated the space. I loved it.
Speaker 1It's elevated the space, everything's so much easier to use. Yeah, I value and appreciate that you did that so deeply. But, but nothing. It's fine, okay, fine, all I'm saying is there are needs around the house, not just one.
Speaker 2Okay, I hear you. An access point system is way more fun, though Kind of I Access point system is way more fun, though Kind of I got so mad when I was putting it in. But that's part of the game. Yeah, that's the hustle. Anyway, that's what I've been doing for fun. It's just projects, Not the ones I need to be doing, obviously.
Speaker 1I haven't been having much fun.
Speaker 2No, that's usually what I'm like. I don't know I don't do fun.
Speaker 1Well, I genuinely like generally, I read a lot of books.
Speaker 2Mm-hmm.
Speaker 1I only read three books in November.
Speaker 2Wow, that's crazy low for you, I've read 96 books in 2024. Jeez.
Speaker 1And I only read three in November.
Speaker 2Well, I mean, if you don't read more than three this month, you're not going to hit 100.
Speaker 1That's okay.
Speaker 2You're okay with 99?.
Speaker 1Yeah, like a loser, yeah, wow, I don't have like Accepting mediocrity. How many books did you read?
Speaker 2this year Matt Absolutely none, Not even an audio book.
Speaker 1Nope, I don't have like a hard. I set a goal, like my goal and my thing is to read a hundred books, I think. But it doesn't really matter to me, it's something I do for fun.
Speaker 2Yeah, so I try not to lean in on it. You're not going to read like a little novella like December 31st, if you're right there.
Speaker 1No, I'd be shocked if I don't read that many books in December.
Speaker 2Fair enough.
Speaker 1Because we're flying without yeah, that's true, that's true, a decent length flight, and we also are going to be traveling without kids to an airport.
Speaker 2Yep, those are all good points and so I to me.
Speaker 1I'm seeing two or three books getting done in that traveling fair enough alone okay but maybe not then you just need one more for the month and you're good. Yeah.
Speaker 2So Wild Nothing. Real exciting though, I feel like in November.
Speaker 1No, just really really busy.
Speaker 2Yeah.
Speaker 1It's the busiest time of the year.
Speaker 2Q4, baby.
Speaker 1Q4.
Speaker 2We got terrible sleep over Thanksgiving break. I feel like we're just getting Thanksgiving. It wasn't a break.
Speaker 1We worked more than ever I slept in this morning.
Speaker 2Yeah, but like Terrible sleep, so did you.
Speaker 1But you, you got up without kids. You had solo time this morning.
Speaker 2Yes, yeah, I got up at 7.
Speaker 1Like a. You got a decent amount of solo time this morning. Yeah, 35 minutes.
Speaker 2No, she was up at like 7.45.
Speaker 1No, are you sure?
Speaker 2up at like 7 45.
Speaker 1No, are you sure? Yeah, I'm sure my alarm went off at eight and she was with.
Speaker 2She was still in bed and she stayed with me till. I must not have been out of bed at seven. I must have been out of bed at 7, 30 okay does not matter.
Speaker 1This is so irrelevant but you guys really care right yeah, this is the kind of thing they're on the edge of their seat, surely? Yeah?
Speaker 2surely, but podcasting bros.
Speaker 1You're part of the bros. What?
Speaker 2you're part of the bros, yeah, yeah I don't know. Any good Black Friday, Cyber Monday acquisitions.
Speaker 1No, we know, I'm not a shopper, matt has a good one.
Speaker 2That's why he asked.
Speaker 1It's because Matt wants to tell you about what he bought, undoubtedly, but I'll go ahead and tell you the things I bought. I got the kids PJs from Mason Gray, oh, and I bought myself a new. I've been slowly this year, as I'm getting rid of old workout sets that I don't wear anymore. I've been replacing with Vitality, because I found those are the sets that I want to reach for, and I think I have three outfits or maybe four outfits from them, and I bought a fourth or fifth.
Speaker 2Nice.
Speaker 1But it was like a new release that they were running their sale nice on um and I think that's all. I got pjs for the kids and that cool I'm trying to think if, oh, and I got a christmas gift for um familia uh for jc's daughter oh, that's right, and then I also got.
Speaker 2I shopped small business saturday yeah, oh yeah, you were out on saturday with g.
Speaker 1You guys went out downtown but that's not like really the same. Those aren't like deals. That was just going out and I got holiday gifts and stuff, because I try to shop local and small businesses as much as I can for holiday gifts. So go ahead, tell them. What did you get?
Speaker 2I got a big rolling toolbox. It's pretty sweet Three tier system. It's got a little tool bag that clips onto the top. It's going to be good. I'm going to set it up. It's going to have all my tools in it. I'll be able to take them anywhere. It's mainly just so that when I do a project and I take all my tools somewhere, instead of leaving them out, I'll have somewhere to put them back into, into the toolbox, although I guess maybe leaving that giant toolbox places isn't going to be more aesthetically pleasing.
Speaker 1No, but it's easier for me to roll roll a whole toolbox than to just stack all your tools.
Speaker 2And it's easier for me to find a huge toolbox than it is to find individual tools. I've left throughout the house.
Speaker 1What I think is funny about it is you have a huge toolbox.
Speaker 2But I can't take it places Right, I can't take it where I need it, right, and so the idea of this toolbox is I can take it where I'm working.
Speaker 1If this doesn't work? Yeah, we're not. Toolbox is not the problem. Do you understand? Yes, what?
Speaker 2The toolbox is not the problem. I've never been going around being like well, I just don't have the proper toolbox for this. I'm like I don't have the proper wiring to do this in my body, my brain.
Speaker 1I know, but just kind of how we were talking about the efficiency thing earlier.
Speaker 2Yeah, this is all about efficiency.
Speaker 1Sometimes it turns earlier. Yeah, this is all about efficiency.
Speaker 2Sometimes, it turns into yeah.
Speaker 1No, if I just get this one more thing, it's going to.
Speaker 2Sometimes, yeah, Sometimes it just takes an acquisition to get the juices flowing. You know you got to no.
Speaker 1This doesn't work for you.
Speaker 2It's about novelty ADHD is like you have to involve the novelty, and so sometimes you need something new to really shake it up.
Speaker 1I really think that that's just ADHD's spin on consumerism.
Speaker 2You know it's a chicken or egg situation. I think no. There is a degree of novelty.
Speaker 1I'm not saying ADHD doesn't exist without consumerism.
Speaker 2It's the cause of consumerism. No, no, no, there is something like. It's not even always about buying, but it's about like something new is more engaging than something old you just want. You're looking at me like I'm crazy.
Speaker 1I don't think you're crazy, I'm listening.
Speaker 2Yeah.
Speaker 1I'm learning.
Speaker 2Yeah, it's like it's why people start new hobbies and then right, continue them yeah then they start another new hobby and they the old hobby dies. Yeah, but I'm kind of boring yeah, my, I don't know why I agreed with that, so it's okay, that doesn't offend me.
Speaker 1I don't think boring's an insult. I mean it depends on how it's. You know it could be, but I don't think that was. I don't, I don't know.
Speaker 2What don't you know what?
Speaker 1I don't do I don't know, I'm boring. I kind of do the same things.
Speaker 2Yeah, you don't change it. You like to change careers.
Speaker 1I love. I don't even know that that's true, though.
Speaker 2Oh.
Speaker 1Because, tell me this I like to change. Maybe I feel like the core of what I like to do has always been the same.
Speaker 2Which is.
Speaker 1Market.
Speaker 2People.
Speaker 1And people, and like figuring out how to take something somebody's passionate about, should they want to monetize it, and do it in a way that is practical and valuable, like I think that's what I've liked to do since I was in college and it's still what I like to do.
Speaker 2Okay, yeah.
Speaker 1I just think it's looked different ways, because my passion is that part, not the service you love building a business.
Speaker 2You don't like operating a business.
Speaker 1Right.
Speaker 2You're a builder?
Speaker 1Yeah, turn and burn this is the longest you've done anything. I don't like turn and burn. That makes me feel bad. That feels like an insult.
Speaker 2It's not about burning. It's not about the burning.
Speaker 1You love turning, I like.
Speaker 2The burning just happens.
Speaker 1This is the longest that I've ever done something.
Speaker 2That's true.
Speaker 1Is that right? That feels no.
Speaker 2Has to be. I mean, I guess, photography. You did a long, long time.
Speaker 1Yeah, full-time, I yeah full-time. I did photography, though, from.
Speaker 2Like you did it in college.
Speaker 1Yeah, but I did it full-time February of 2017 to September of 21. So I don't think we're quite there yet, okay.
Speaker 2Yeah, we're not there yet, but we're close.
Speaker 1Yeah, we are coming up on it. It's going to be next year.
Speaker 2And you're already dabbling in the new thing, as you.
Speaker 1I am, no, I'm saying you were. Oh, like you were transitioning there was a transition period where you're doing both, I feel like oh yeah, for sure, but like absolutely, but it being the thing that I like solely rely on. I graduated college, I went into marketing. I worked that job from june of 2015 until february of 2017 yeah and then february 2017. I took photography full-time until September of 21 yep so well.
Speaker 2I haven't worked very long no, I feel that way sometimes when I think about my career.
Speaker 1I did jobs like I always worked, like I worked in high school, I worked in college, but I post-college career type jobs that were full-time incomes that paid my bills. I really don't. I'm like. I really don't feel like I have that much.
Speaker 2Well, that time just flies, Like it's been 10 years since I was in college and coming up on 10 years anyway, and that feels impossible, but it's true. Getting there, getting older.
Speaker 1But don't you kind of feel like we're wee little infant babies that?
Speaker 2feels impossible, but it's true. Getting there, getting older, the last, but don't you kind of feel like we're wee little infant babies?
Speaker 1Yeah, yeah. No, I still feel like a kid, like I feel like we've been very fortunate to have a lot of success in the handful of things that we've done A hundred percent.
Speaker 2But we're still newbie yeah, I don't know, it's wild, like at 32 now I still feel 25 mentally yeah it's just. It never changes. From what I can tell when I talk to older people, that doesn't. It doesn't go away either. They're always like yeah, no, and my head I'm 30 or 25 or whatever. But kids have changed perspective. Long term it's definitely changed the stage of life I'm in, but as a person internally I don't really feel different.
Speaker 1Yeah.
Speaker 2Just priorities.
Speaker 1Do we have Reads of the Week?
Speaker 2Reads of the Week. I'm sure your dad's been reading news, right.
Speaker 1Greg's Reads of the Week.
Speaker 2Yeah.
Anxiety Levels Over Headline Content
Speaker 1Let's check it out. Let's see what Greg's been doing.
Speaker 2We take a headline, we read it out loud, then we say how much anxiety.
Speaker 1Okay, we're doing a little different mix up here, not really. My dad likes to send us lots of articles. We like to read the headlines and say on a scale of one to five how much anxiety that headline gives us oh okay, hit us hit us here we go, we got some good stuff this week okay, good you ready yeah, I'm ready the earth is tilted 31.5 inches. That shouldn't happen three and a half three and a half.
Speaker 2Uh, yeah, I'll give it a three out of five. I won't lie. 31.5 inches, like makes me. I'm. I'm trying to figure out what that means. Like what if something tilts? However many inches and at which is like a degree of rotation, like because degrees if it was like it's turned one degree, it's, although it's probably like such a tiny amount of degrees that it doesn't feel like if they were like it's turned 0.0001 degrees. That shouldn't happen.
Speaker 1But I think it has turned enough that that's like a lot of what is shifting.
Speaker 2I mean the article type says that shouldn't happen. Should we click in? Should we do the rare? I read it. Oh, you read it, okay.
Speaker 1Yeah, what'd you?
Speaker 2learn.
Speaker 1Uh yeah, What'd you learn, If I remember right, because I've read a couple articles about this in the last couple weeks. But it's like the weather and stuff is shifting because of how much the earth has shifted, like where it's warmer, cooler and stuff. I don't really know.
Speaker 2This is starting off. The bullet points of it are when humans pump groundwater, it has a substantial impact on the tilt of the earth's rotation. So it's I'm guessing it's that we're pulling so much water out of the ground that it's shifting where the weight displaced, like right dispersion, but it's impacting like oh yeah the temperatures of places because they're differently located to the sun. Yeah.
Speaker 1I don't.
Speaker 2Yeah, yeah, that makes sense. Wow, now I'm more concerned.
Speaker 1Yeah.
Speaker 2Because like we kind of need water For sure. Yeah, you know, Whether we're supposed to get it out of the ground or not. That's kind of we, just that's what we're doing. We got to get it out of the ground or not. That's kind of we, just that's what we're doing. We got to get it. It's where the clean water's at. Oh cool, here's another. Here's another good article why some kitchen utensils could be poisoning you.
Speaker 1Oh yeah.
Speaker 2Zero out of five. One out of five.
Speaker 1Don't know, don't care.
Speaker 2Oh.
Speaker 1I.
Speaker 2Oh, I'm curious to see where your take is on this.
Speaker 1Okay.
Speaker 2I was like a two out of five.
Speaker 1Oh really.
Speaker 2Sure.
Speaker 1I'm hitting this point and this might be unhealthy that I don't really care what all the things are doing to me.
Speaker 2Love it Okay.
Speaker 1Like, not that I don't want to make safe choices. I do try to make relatively educated choices, but I don't let headlines grab me in that regard, because it feels like it's always something Gotcha. Like we use glass storage containers we, you, you know but like we use plastic cutting boards yeah, it's true you know like yeah, yeah, it's true I just feel like it's always been something like it was lead, it was asbestos, it was do you know what I mean?
Speaker 2like yeah, there is like a real uh there they're. Like over time there's been a lot of things that people have consumed.
Speaker 1That's not great, and I'm not saying I want to, that's not. I'm not arguing like well, we shouldn't try to do better, because it's just always a problem. I'm not trying to go that far either yeah but I just think small, sustainable changes and I'm gonna let my body do what it does yeah, it's as I'm coasting through this article.
Speaker 2It's talking about all the different plastic problems that you can have.
Speaker 1Yeah.
Speaker 2It's like the black, it's the the kitchen utensils. One is the black plastic.
Speaker 1Yeah, I saw some videos about that and I saw somebody who does like takes the scientific research and kind of like not debunks but tries to like breaks it down elaborate in order to understand, like, where the information was coming from, and at the end it was pretty much like you don't have to get rid of your black utensils.
Speaker 1Yeah, you shouldn't eat them either, but no, but I don't know If I was somebody who was peak health. I great care of myself. I wake up every morning, I'm doing manual labor that I feel like is appropriate for my body and I'm eating perfectly balanced, nutritional, and I felt like I was emotionally really well and stable and I had a great community and all those things were. Maybe I would be more concerned, but I'm like I feel like stress and lack of community is going to kill me long before my black utensils.
Speaker 2Ah gotcha fair enough. Yeah, that's valid you know, yeah, yeah, there's a degree of some of that stuff that it's like okay, it is bad for you, yes, it can increase your risk of cancer, but sometimes, when they talk about the increased risk, it is not a like 500 increase, it is a like 10 increase. And then you also have to be like what are the other habits and everything else?
Speaker 1there's a lot of like impact that you can have outside of just like there's also a huge issue with a lot of this research that correlation is not always causation.
Speaker 2Yeah.
Speaker 1And so they are stating correlations that they're finding, but that doesn't mean there's proof of causation either.
Speaker 2True.
Speaker 1And I think about that a lot when you're talking about our food quality and stuff and talking about European countries, our food quality and stuff. And talking about european countries, well, we're also taking into consideration. They have access to health care. They don't have the stressors of knowing they need to pay for health care. Um, they have walkable communities where they are naturally more active because of the way their cultures are built. They have, like there are a lot of their countries.
Speaker 2Like the, it's significantly smaller. Like the countries are significantly smaller.
Speaker 1So it's easier to have a variety of perspective and interact with a diverse group of people. Well, in those countries, yeah, their food is more regionally sourced.
Speaker 2It's it's less diverse. Like you have more food diversity here right because we get food from all over the world.
Speaker 1Right.
Speaker 2They have some of that, but like just and broadly speaking, our food diversity is so much larger and we have a lot much larger country. So even within our country the food has to travel significant distances.
Speaker 1Well and I'm not saying that the points people have don't have legs, like I'm not saying those aren't valid conversations we should be having. I just don't think it's black and white the way that you know.
Speaker 2Yeah, no, I'm with you. We, we very much, are on the same page of like there's a lot of things I could be doing to improve my health long before I'm like these tiny, like pollutants are what's causing all my problems. It's like, well, if you exercise and like eat a more balanced diet regularly, then you know let's. Let's assess the individual tiny things for sure yeah, there's lots of big stuff.
Speaker 1Stress is also a big one.
Speaker 2Hmm, I got a choice of two here. Let's parts of your body start aging earlier than others. New research shows.
Speaker 1That doesn't make me anxious. That makes sense to me.
Speaker 2Yeah, all the way down to your organs and cells individually.
Speaker 1Yeah, that makes sense to me.
Speaker 2It doesn't cause any anxiety for me.
Speaker 1No, aging in general, you know, what's interesting. I feel like a lot of people who grew up around a lot of health issues, like I did, tend to be more anxious about health. I feel like it's kind of it goes one of two ways.
Speaker 2Yeah.
Speaker 1You either are, you aren't, and I feel like I definitely fall on the side of I'm not going to stress about it until I know I have something to stress about. I'm not going to stress about it until I know I have something to stress about because you can't plan for the unknown. You can prepare for the unknown in some capacity of, like you know, having an emergency savings and having like plans of general contacts and people that you reach out to, et cetera, but the real detailed nuance of all of it you never know until you're in it, and I think I've watched that happen so many times that I'm just not a health stressor. I want to take care of myself. Like lots of studies, one of the biggest things they see is like the more muscle mass you have, the healthier long-term Like. That is a huge correlation for a lot of studies now.
Speaker 1And so I'm like, okay, I want to make sure that I'm prioritizing muscle mass. You know, in my 30s, and 40s, you know, like things like that. But I just I don't know what are your thoughts.
Speaker 2Yeah, I mean I'm with you Aging I don't know what are your thoughts. Yeah, I mean I'm with you Aging I don't know. I'm very bad with time and so aging feels like a little high level for me.
Speaker 1One day, I think it's just going to slap you in the face.
Speaker 2Yeah, one day I'm going to tear my Achilles or something. I feel like that's what's going to happen.
Speaker 1No, that's so niche.
Speaker 2Just like a catastrophic. Uh, I hope not. Injury, I hope not either. Like I'm not, I'm not hoping that happens. I haven't had any major injuries in my my career, but uh, I feel like that's what'll catch me off guard at some point. It's getting hurt.
Speaker 1Yeah.
Speaker 2Not that I'm doing anything crazy.
Speaker 1I'm not like yeah, but you definitely max out like oh yeah you're to failure ah yeah, I'm a failure boy you're uh, I'm gonna do this to failure, and that's a great way to get injured well, yeah, I feel like I'm fairly safe with it, though yeah, but that's kind of like being like. I choose race dirt bikes, but I'm a fairly safe dirt bike racer. I guess I hear you, I think there are safer ways to do that, but at some point you still have to acknowledge you're participating in something that is dangerous.
Speaker 2Okay, all right, I still don't think it's that dangerous. That's how you get better or hurt.
Speaker 1Uh-huh.
Speaker 2Fair enough.
Speaker 1Fair enough Again, and I don't think, like I don't think, there's anything wrong with dirt biking.
Speaker 2I don't think there's anything wrong with but I, you just have to. I was cruising through the article and seeing what it was talking about. It's really inconclusive. There's people that make tests that'll tell you like, but none of them are FDA approved and like. The results vary widely. This guy was like. One of them told me I was 20 years younger than my age. One of them told me I was three years older, so that tells me they don't.
Speaker 2It's very difficult to conclude because people are starting to make like swab tests to compare how your genes compare with other people your age, why, I don't know.
Perspectives on Success and Self-Image
Speaker 1I feel like to know I know, but don't you think that that's just a measure of us to know, like, where we fall, like it's like we're trying to feel better or like have something to blame, that we're worse than everybody else? Yeah I think that's so silly. I don't think it's beneficial no, but people like it. That's silly.
Speaker 2Yeah, people love metrics.
Speaker 1I just think that's so crazy, because here's the thing about metrics is there's such a variety of them. You can always be winning and you can always be losing. And let me tell you, you're one of two kinds of people.
Speaker 2You're either mad Winners or losers.
Speaker 1Who is always focused on the ways he's losing. It doesn't matter if he's winning 100 out of 101 categories.
Speaker 2That's true.
Speaker 1He's like I suck, I'm the worst person on the planet. I'm terrible. I lost this one category, or you're like me, who could be losing 100 and winning one, and I'm like that's pretty good.
Speaker 2Yeah, a winner, winners and losers.
Speaker 1And guess who's happier?
Speaker 2You.
Speaker 1Yeah, 100 winners and losers and guess who's happier?
Speaker 2You, yeah, A hundred percent. I don't it it.
Speaker 1Look at me, look at me.
Speaker 2I'm in a. I'm wearing a gray cloud that's.
Speaker 1I just really struggle with that. Fair enough, cause, like you, are a person that is so exceptional, truly Like I mean, can do anything, tries anything and is great at it, can be successful with a little work. At anything he tries his hand at, it's very impressive and it's very awe-inspiring to watch. And then I like don't. I'm like no wonder I was made this way, because I would be insufferable. I really would Like I watch talented people do things all the time and I'm like if I could sing, oh, boy oh, thank God, you can't.
Speaker 2Again, I'm not going to say you can't sing, because for a long time you were told you were like literally tone deaf, which is just not true.
Speaker 1But I mean if I could, but if you were a talented singer, if I could Broadway Exceptional singer, if I could Ariana Grande.
Speaker 2Oh God, Like we couldn't be married.
Speaker 1No, Nobody could marry me. I would be alone. But I'd be fine because I'd be alone with my talent, that's true.
Speaker 2You'd never stop singing.
Speaker 1No.
Speaker 2Yeah.
Speaker 1Same with any.
Speaker 2You'd have to be married to someone who was legally deaf.
Speaker 1Yeah. No somebody would love it.
Speaker 2You'd have like a musical theater house. Yeah.
Speaker 1I'm not even like anti-theater, but just like just yeah. But it's not just like any kind of yeah, you'd be insufferable, I would.
Speaker 2It would never stop, like you already sing through this podcast.
Speaker 1I like music the whole podcast, would be singing.
Speaker 2Yeah, you'd sing everything you had to say.
Speaker 1I'd have a 60 minute spot everywhere where people could just come and listen to me. Now you're making me sound.
Speaker 2You would be all over it, yeah.
Speaker 1That's fair. I'm just saying I, not I don't know. Now I feel like the way we've described it it sounds like I'm trying to put it in other people's faces and it's not about that.
Speaker 2No, no, no. You would just be so enamored with it, I would be so excited. It'd be for you, it wouldn't be for anyone else.
Speaker 1And it blows my mind when I listen to you, because you're just good at so many things. I'm like I don't know what you have to be. Which that's invalidating, which that's invalidating? I'm not trying to invalidate the experiences you have either but it is hard for me to understand.
Speaker 2Yeah, I don't know.
Speaker 1I just love to be losing. I know it's a, it's a character flaw. It's really interesting. Yeah, would you say that that falls under like a scarcity?
Speaker 2mindset. Yeah, okay, for sure For me anyway, like speaking for myself, I don't want to. Does that interest you learning about that Scarcity mindset? Yeah, okay, for sure For me anyway, like speaking for myself, I don't want to.
Speaker 1Does that interest you learning about that?
Speaker 2Scarcity mindset.
Speaker 1Yeah, versus like an abundance mindset.
Speaker 2What do I need to learn about it?
Speaker 1Cause I feel like, uh, I Well, you're really good at practicing a scarcity mindset but, if you simplify it into like scarcity versus abundance, would that help you then practice in a different way that may feel more supportive of you and your lifestyle? Hmm?
Speaker 2That seems uh possible.
Speaker 1Like, for me it's not really useful.
Speaker 2Yeah.
Speaker 1Like same with manifesting and all of that stuff. Like when you give it like actual steps and real thoughtful, which I think that's huge and really helpful to a lot of people. But the moment that you do that to it for me, like I get really immature and I'm like do you know what I mean?
Speaker 2Not when other people are doing it.
Speaker 1Totally fine, but if I try to do it, it's not effective.
Speaker 2It doesn't break down for you. Yeah, no, I don't know how much. Learning about scarcity I understand. I have a scarcity mindset. I'm always trying to reduce, not grow. That's something I need a lot of work in is trying to be more, not less, because you run out of room to make less and then you're also not there. That's something I've run into plenty, but no, I don't know. But learning about it, maybe learning tools and things like that, that's much more. I feel like in the phase that I'm in, but understanding it further, I'm like, no, I get it, like I'm trying to be small and I need to be bigger, physically bigger. That's why I'm wearing these huge clothes. One day.
Speaker 1These clothes are going to fit me.
Speaker 2Yeah, one day.
Speaker 1And they're going to be huge.
Speaker 2I would have to be so huge for these. That's like I'm going to be. I'm gonna be six, eight and four hundred pounds. I was gonna say I'd have to be three inches taller and 75 pounds of muscle heavier for these to be like fitted yeah, you got it or maybe just like a hundred pounds of bad weight just keep going yeah one way or the other yeah, that's true.
Speaker 2yeah, maybe if I was just like a soft 325, I could fill these out. I don't think I'm not trying to do that. I can't imagine how terrible I would feel.
Speaker 1Yeah, why.
Speaker 2Being a soft, just like you're not taking care of yourself.
Speaker 1Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2I feel that when I don't like for a week, I can't imagine if Like. I just would not. It would not be good for me. Yeah, I can't imagine if like I just would not. It would not be good for me. Yeah, we're not going to try it, we'll go there.
Navigating Different Perspectives in Parenting
Speaker 1Yeah, I don't know. Anyway, do we have?
Speaker 2any emails? Yeah, we got some emails we got some questions, matt's prepared. Let's do it.
Speaker 1We're going into winter, which during this time our dogs don't normally shed really, and going into summer and going into winter they always shed a little more.
Speaker 2I have hair on me yeah, well, I also shaved, yeah oh yeah I shaved her, so she's got some loose, some lucys. I washed her but and then I also tried to run the comb through. But they really hate it when I run the, the comb through their hair. Yeah, it's probably because I'm not very patient.
Speaker 1Give us some emails, my dude.
Speaker 2Alrighty Emails time guys.
Speaker 2All right Question is this, provided you're comfortable discussing it, I know you all have talked about having different religious and political views from some of your family and friends, and it sounded like you are all able to have good relationships with them despite this, but I'm curious how you handle it, or think you would handle it, if it hasn't ever been an issue for you when it comes to your kids. Since going through our own deconstruction and having our daughter now 15 months old, my husband and I have become incredibly aware of how many comments are made by our family and friends that encourage Christianity and conservatism as the only right ways. It is so important for us to provide a safe space for our daughter to explore anything and everything that may resonate with her, and we worry that some of our loved ones, even with the best intentions, will be doing just the opposite. Unfortunately, they aren't currently open-minded enough to hear our perspective or be willing to understand the potentially negative effects that they could have, rather than they believe.
Speaker 2Raising a God-fearing girl I hate this statement is the only way we wouldn't be doing her a disservice. This statement is the only way we wouldn't be doing her a disservice. So how are we balancing having our little ones surrounded by people that love them but may not be the best influences on their developing minds? We'd love to hear your thoughts, love and appreciate you too.
Speaker 1We do not have that many people. We have a lot of people in our life that have different views. We do not have a lot of people in our life who feel the need to have those views pushed on anyone else. Yeah, like I think that that's a really. And I also would like to say, like we have very few, very few. I can't think of any close friends or family that we have that like we actively didn't align with over like the election or things like that Like close friends, friends, people that we talk to on a weekly or more basis sure.
Speaker 1I can't think of anybody I can think of, like some people we see a couple times a year, people we've known, like I've known since my childhood, who I have relationships with and things um, and I I have been having conversations with them too, but I don't know that we run into this specifically and I think that also the friends of ours that feel strongly I'm going to let you talk or the family that feel strongly in these kinds of beliefs. I have been very loud in terms of what I believe and what my views are, and so everybody has been very conscious to ask me what I find appropriate and they kind of tiptoe around, like it happened this week, and I'll use this week.
Speaker 1as an example, my sister had a nativity scene that she was setting up for Christmas at her house. And she was like I don't really know how it like gets set up this and that, and my, my daughter was there and she asked, like what is this? And my sister like looked at me wide-eyed I'm like it's the scene of baby Jesus. Like, like at the like, I'm like you can explain a nativity scene.
Speaker 2Like you know there's a difference between explaining what it is and like trying to um, I guess, project like a value, right and only way.
Speaker 2Yeah, yeah. I think we're big on educating all perspectives, all perspectives, and I think that maybe has to be your, your direction going forward and you may have to, unfortunately, if you have a lot of people in your life that are projecting this as like a this is the correct way. This is the only way that I think the least offensive or like jarring way that you can approach that with people is to say it is okay if you teach this as what you practice. We are trying to teach our child like all of the perspectives, because I think it's unrealistic, especially if you are in a family or in a social situation where you are going to have a lot of viewpoints that are different than yours, that they, your kid, will never be exposed to those. I think it's important to be having open and honest conversations with your kids.
Speaker 1I also think that if you live in the United States, especially middle America or smaller town America or southern America, like I would say, really across the states for the most part in a lot of areas, I think you're doing your kid a huge disservice to shield them from Christianity and not teach them about Christianity in some capacity, because that is going to do them a disservice, because they are going to engage and interact with a lot of people who are Christians and have that faith, and so I think for me it's been important, like religious studies are important to me. I don't know that my kids are quite old enough yet that I'm diving into anything.
Speaker 1But this year, like I have talked to her about what Hanukkah is, I have talked to her about what Christmas is, we've talked about, like how there are different beliefs and different stories about how the world began and people practice what resonates with them. Like I talked to her about that stuff Maybe not in the way I just worded it.
Speaker 2It's very high level for her.
Speaker 1She's three at this point and so. But I don't think it's a bad thing for her to feel like, oh, the Jesus that they learn all about. They told me that he loves me. I'm like, okay, like that's not. I don't know that I don't find alarming and I think that if the education on those things has come from me first of like, this is what Judaism is, this is what Christianity is, things has come from me first, of like this is what Judaism is, this is what Christianity is, and we've covered some of the religions that she's more likely to encounter and my son's obviously much too young to understand any of it yet.
Speaker 1He's got a tenuous grasp on the English language at all. I hope that if we've had some of those conversations, they're more likely to come to me to talk about it and break it down further and ask those questions, because at the end of the day, this is maybe a really hot take for people who find themselves in the same place as Matt and I and don't consider themselves religious or I don't know any of like practicing any kind of um formal religion. Yeah, uh, I don't care if my kids in coming years become religious. I hope that they would never become hateful. I hope they would never become closed minded. But I don't think those things are exclusively um, they're not inherent to religion.
Speaker 2That's what I was looking for Like if you, if you look at the values that are in the Bible, primarily the newer Testament, that's what most people are riding on. Anyway, if you get too old Testament, it gets a.
Speaker 2Daisy biblical in a very different way, um, but I mean, if you look at the values that are actually talked about in the Bible, it's there. They're mostly about being a good person and generous and kind and, um, forgiving all good things that I think are important for people, religious or not, um, but, like really your, your struggle is going to be with people trying to project more than that, or project how that needs to look, and so, yeah, what I think about is like there's there's going to be a point at some where where our kid is going to learn more about Christianity or she's going to be told about Christianity from a very definite viewpoint of a peer or a peer's parent or something like that.
Speaker 2And, um, I hope at that point she, she comes to us and asks us about it and I will be very honest about what I believe, without being disrespectful to what other people believe. It's like okay, I don't necessarily believe that as a literal or direct effect on our lives or interpretation, in whatever capacity, but there are people that live this way and that is fulfilling for them and it gives a guideline.
Speaker 1The beauty of living in America is that we have those freedoms. I mean, that's one of the things about our country, regardless of like where things are right now, regardless of like where things are right now. I'm really proud of living where we live because what it is built on is having those freedoms for people to practice and live how they see fit and what feels right to them. Um, and I think that that is really cool and I, I don't know, I don't think there's protecting your kids from that the same way Like goes both ways. To me, it's the same thing as all of the devout christians in my life who want to protect their children from me because I'm not religious.
Speaker 2I'm like, well, that's wildly offensive and it's a little funny because we don't have anything to put on them no, not at all um the one thing if we had a wildly different like religion.
Speaker 1But it is wildly different to them.
Speaker 2Sure Like it not existing is, but we're just not yeah.
Speaker 1I know, but it doesn't seem like that big to us. But it's a big difference in general.
Speaker 2Yeah.
Speaker 1But I, I don't know, I don't know how helpful this was. I think that it just happens Like you have to be prepared for that to happen.
Speaker 2Yeah, I think, if I think, your best bet here going forward as they get older um is that you stress the very good values that are in the Bible. When you're around those people, you stress the forgiveness and the kindness and the charity. All of that stuff bone up on that part of the Bible. Emphasize that and make sure that the people that you're dealing with are using that correctly.
Raising Daughters
Speaker 2That they're applying it universally in their life, because that's, I think, going to be a lot better than trying to combat people on religion, because they have God on their side. So that's really tough to compete with, and so you're just going to have to be really good at understanding what's really said in there and what's not really said in there, and so, when it comes to values that you differ on, maybe find some biblical references that don't necessarily mean what people think they mean.
Speaker 1And as parents to daughters, you cannot protect them from what they're going to be told that they are. You just can't. I know we want to.
Speaker 2Even without religious projection, it's put on our kid already.
Speaker 1That's what I was going to say. It is going. She is going to hear that she's only valuable for one thing at some point, from someone in some context. She is going to watch the movies. She is going to go into the gas station and have the cat calling. She is going to have vile things. I hope not.
Speaker 1I'm not saying I wish any of those things on to anybody's daughter but as somebody who I feel like overall has come out with fairly minor things compared to other friends and who has been in situations that I've been sexually assaulted, I've been in situations where I've been made to feel very uncomfortable by men and I I am somebody who was raised very naive. There were a lot of things that weren't talked about to me not intentionally, like it was, but I just didn't understand. Regardless, they're going to encounter those things, and so it's more about having the conversations and preparing them to navigate them and have the resilience and the strength in themselves to move forward through those things and to be able to process through the feelings and to have safe spaces to come to, to talk to, about it and to be able to decide whether they align with whatever tells them. People, tell them the world should or shouldn't be.
Speaker 2Yeah.
Speaker 1It's unfortunate. I don't want it to be that way, but it is, and I don't think sheltering girls from it. Not that that's what you were saying. You were even trying to do in the email but in any regard. That's just where I go with it.
Speaker 2Yeah, sheltering your kid from the world is not a long-term strategy.
Speaker 1No.
Speaker 2Because at some point they'll go out on their own and they will be exposed to it, whether you like it or not.
Speaker 1And it is a world of hurt to have to figure it out on your own.
Speaker 2On the fly in the real world, yeah.
Speaker 1It is a world of hurt and eventually you do have to in most cases. I mean sure, I'm sure you can think of it, you know. But is there another email?
Speaker 2Yeah, I don't know what else to to. I'm now just like jabbering on good luck to you again, I think.
Speaker 2Stress the good and really break down and evaluate the rest. Um, hey, joe and matt, it's a long one, so bear with me. I'll be moving from college in a few months and moving up to northwest arkansas to live closer to my boyfriend. I'm so excited to finally live near him. We've been long distance since we went to college. I'll be moving from college in a few months and moving up to Northwest Arkansas to live closer to my boyfriend. I'm so excited to finally live near him. We've been long distance since we went to college in 21,.
Speaker 2But I'm sad about leaving my friends and family behind and I'm nervous, slash scared, about meeting new friends and forming a new community separate from my boyfriend. I don't know anyone other than him in the area and I like to consider myself an introverted extrovert. I love meeting new people, but only when I'm in a comfortable environment and with people I'm comfortable with. Also, without being in school, I won't have a ton of opportunities where I'm constantly interacting with people around my age or in the same life stages as me as I've had for the last 16 years. Any tips for making friends? Post-grad Bonus points, if it's specific to the area.
Speaker 1So many opportunities here to meet people. There are so many events that go on here to meet people. There are so many events that go on. There are like, if you follow, I'm trying to think of what um, nwa newbies is a good account for new people who've moved here, who share a ton of different events going on in the area and probably other people that follow them would be in a similar boat.
Speaker 1Definitely Um any kind of events like. It really depends on what your interests are Like if you like to work out, finding a fitness class and going to the same fitness class consistently.
Speaker 2Yeah, I think that's a really good call.
Speaker 1I think it's a great way to meet people in the area who have similar interests to you, um, but but that goes for literally any interest, like get involved in a um.
Speaker 2I know the botanical garden. Right, you're probably gonna be a lot of old people, but like but old people make great old people are great like we have the best, we have the sickest neighbors yeah, they're retired, our neighbors all have kids our age and I would consider all of them friends.
Speaker 1Yeah, I very much enjoy their presence and being around them Plus they're like bonus grandparents without the baggage Just out of college pure. Like I would say, fitness classes. Following accounts like NWA newbies, I'm trying to think there are more than that. They're just like not coming top of mind to me and not being afraid to put yourself out there and go to things.
Speaker 2Yeah, Work can be hit or miss, but that's always a. If you are working a job, you'll be around people.
Speaker 1I have found Northwest Arkansas to be a community full of people trying to build community.
Speaker 2And it's a lot of transplants because it is a growing area and so especially up in Rogers, bentonville it's it's attracted a lot of people from everywhere, and so you won't be the only person here without roots.
Speaker 1Also, don't expect it to happen overnight. Like, give yourself time and, you know, try not to make rash judgments over the first year that you've been here of like I feel this way. I feel that way because relationships and community take time to develop and so people that you know only a little bit could end up being some of the nearest and dearest to you. You just don't know it yet.
Speaker 2Yeah, yeah, it takes time and just, and lots of people already have community and so they're not necessarily looking for it, and so you'll have to work your way in over time. But yeah, clubs, uh, I think there's intramural sports here, like there's um. I don't know if it's called intramural.
Speaker 1I guess it's an adult but there are a lot of adult league sports um that I think are cool. There are a lot of cool like crafting and um hobby style, regular events and stuff in this area as well.
Speaker 2I still like workout class. That's just people that have you're going to have a shared experience, whether it's hard or relaxing or whatever, and you get to see each other. Some people just aren't into working out, though. Fair enough.
Speaker 1That's why I'm always like I don't know about that, but I feel like you made friends in your not close friends, but you weren't looking for close friends, like I think if you would have been in my yoga class in your yoga class yeah, like you had reoccurring people that you saw every week and I think if you were attempting to build relationships, there were probably people there had been a handful of ladies that I'd been friends with, yeah you know what?
Speaker 2we chopped it up before class yeah, especially as, especially as the only guy that was in, yeah.
Speaker 1So maybe that's not the best example After about eight months.
Speaker 2they're like oh, you're like really doing this. Huh, yeah, you're like, yep, just here trying to get flexible Checking to my brain a little. Also, they recommend Fable. You use StoryGraph.
Speaker 1Oh, I have. This person is letting you know that Fable's a. You use StoryGraph this person is letting you know that Fable's a people have told me a lot about Fable and I know people do book clubs via Fable. I'm really partial to StoryGraph because it is small business, black woman owned and just like really cool, but I should look into some of those other ones that people have recommended.
Speaker 2I think StoryGraph's really working for you.
Speaker 1It has worked very well for me.
Speaker 2I like it a lot Very partial. But maybe there's better ones.
Speaker 1But Fable has very like I think people use Fable for really different reasons. Like I think people do like book clubs and things like that through Fable which is not how. Storygraph's used.
Speaker 2It's more like organizing community.
Speaker 1It's more of a social media, I think okay don't quote me on any of that, you guys, because I have never used the app.
Speaker 2Sure fair enough, one more one more quick, light question for you. Joe always says she never remembers words of the week except akimbo. Matt, how many words from word of the week do you remember?
Speaker 1um, we didn't do a word of the week this week we didn't do a word of the week, should we? I think a lot of the words. Part of the problem is they're already in your vocabulary yeah, it's not so much.
Speaker 2Sometimes I like to pick out a word that I haven't seen and then I'm pretty confident you haven't seen it, but yeah, they don't. That's so hard for me because probably 75 of them, like, are words that if I saw them I would know what they meant. Uh, at the very least in context. But I'm, I'm really bad. I always talk about like I don't have good memory. I don't have good recall. I have good memory. I don't have good recall, I have good memory, I have a very good memory and I have very bad recall. Like, what it takes to prompt a memory out of me has to be very specific, and so, like, if I'm writing something and I need a word that really describes what I'm, I'm looking for, I can probably pull up a word.
Speaker 1And remember that it was from word of the week.
Speaker 2Maybe. Yeah, I might remember that I did it in Word of the Week, but like if you asked me to name 10 words of the week, I bet I couldn't do it.
Speaker 1I couldn't.
Speaker 2Well, yeah, fair, but you're learning the words of the week often for the first time, so I really struggle Words have never, you know, I really struggled with language.
Speaker 1I started in French when I was 11 years old and it was so hard for me. English was hard for me. I am just not a language gal. I really I'll never stop saying it. I should probably talk to somebody. I really think I might be dyslexic or something like it.
Speaker 2I really really do.
Speaker 1Um, the older I've gotten and the things that I struggle with I like, and I know it doesn't make sense because I'm such a reader and I don't have a problem in that regard. So maybe it's not, maybe it's a different word that falls under that same kind of category, but something I'm like auditorily, how I Well, I think it is an auditory issue, isn't it?
Speaker 2Yeah, like they've.
Speaker 1Well, it's like the name. I'm trying to think of an example. Like some names are the same to me because they're both five letters and they have an equal number of consonant and vowels, they won't sound anything like each other Interesting.
Speaker 2But when I?
Speaker 1see them in my head.
Speaker 2It's not even the same consonants and vowels. No, because there is a whole thing where, like, the letters in the middle of a word are not very no, no, it's not about it being the same because if you read those like paragraphs where they write all the words and only the first letter and the last letter are the same and all the middle ones are jumbled up like that, read it and well, that has a c in it.
Speaker 1But like zach and matt, it wouldn't be because you are Matt, but like those would be they have, like, some sort of value.
Speaker 2that is the same.
Speaker 1Like they add up to the same in my brain, and so then I can't remember which. And they're not really related to other people in any capacity. It's why, when I was a kid, I used to call a satellite a pilot. Okay, Because something In the sky Like like, no, like a satellite, not in the sky, but like a satellite like a satellite dish. Yeah got it I confused that with the word pilot. Because of what letters?
Speaker 2it's not going to make sense because it's not a system in the terms of like that I can explain to people.
Speaker 1but like those two words got mixed up in my head because of when I learned them and then what vowels are in them, it doesn't really make a lot of sense.
Speaker 2The more you talk about it, the less I'm understanding. I know.
Speaker 1But that's why I think that that has to be some kind of something.
Speaker 2Just how you process language or sound is horrible, I don't know about horrible.
Speaker 1There's something wrong, different, different no, there's definitely differently abled in the words it made language when we would do take verbs and we would conjugate them. Is that right?
Speaker 2sure I'm so bad at like the formal understanding of English.
Speaker 1Oh, the only reason I have so much of it in my head is because that was something I had to study.
Speaker 2Gotcha.
Speaker 1It was so hard for me. Like it was so hard for me. I mean, there are very few subjects in school. I got through chemistry. I got through like not like I was acing or getting 100 things, yeah, but I did not have to, like I could get away with not doing much fair english and french gotcha you would have thought I was an alien had never heard any of these languages you thought it was esl definitely, yeah, definitely not.
Speaker 1somebody like I was verbal very young, I was reading very young. I don't know. I really do think. Anyway, none of y'all need this much detail on this.
Speaker 2Well, do you want a word of the week? Sure Eschew.
Speaker 1Eschew Spell it for me.
Speaker 2E-S-C-H-E-W. E-s-c-h-e-w.
Speaker 1Does that look familiar to you?
Speaker 2oh god, I didn't even hear the words, I was not even seeing after you spelled it I still wasn't it starts with an e, okay, a shoe no idea to avoid something because it is not right, proper or practical.
Speaker 1Ah, I do a lot of eschewing.
Speaker 2Eschewing yeah, you eschew things that you find impractical.
Speaker 1Yes.
Speaker 2Or just inconvenient.
Speaker 1Yes, yeah, or hard for me to understand, yeah, or that I feel like are going to embarrass me because I don't properly understand it. Fair enough, which is most social, cultural references funny, unless it's tiktok.
Speaker 2You're up on those yeah, I am and I'm not yeah, the problem is the people are in our peer groups are not no, definitely not.
Speaker 1Nobody we hang out with is on social media at all.
Speaker 2No.
Speaker 1Which is actually kind of fun, because I'll talk about my job and people are like what? Yeah, it's fascinating to them.
Speaker 2It really is.
Speaker 1Well, on that note, we love you guys, yeah, and if you're wanting if you're missing, seeing us every week instead of you know whatever.
Speaker 2Once a month.
Speaker 1Once a month. You can subscribe via the Patreon. Yeah, we love you. We're happy to be back.
Speaker 2To our Patreon folks. If you have voicemails, emails, texts, all that stuff, hit us up and we'll answer them in the next few weeks.
Speaker 1Yeah, We'll only have a couple episodes until holiday break and then we're back baby.
Speaker 2For sure, until holiday break, and then we're back. Baby for sure, all right. And if you're someone who is monthly, just, uh, if you and you have a question, let us know. And, uh, if you want to answer on a monthly episode, we'll make sure it gets done then, yep, talk soon. Bye.