Build It And They Will Come

From the ashes of Oversharing comes Overthinking - and this week we talk about taking a pause on the launch to respect real news, a nine day studio build, and a better plan for goals and habits in our version of the new year. 

• Why Overthinking fits better than Oversharing
• Postponement of the launch to due to the state of the world
• Drink of the day and lighter moments to reset
• Studio building and the drywall learning curve
• Hyperfocus vs steady systems in work and marriage
• Vlogmas lessons on editing, streaks and comments
• February as the new January
• How to restart habits without all‑or‑nothing thinking
• Empathy, boundaries and functioning as a community
• Parenting through loss of cell service

Please rate the podcast, review the podcast, leave us a voicemail, text us, email us, reach out any way you feel because we love, love, love this community and talking with you all. Links and everything are below!

We'll be back to chat every Wednesday, hope to see you here.

If you've got a thought to share or are looking for a bit of advice on something, leave us a voicemail at the link below!

https://www.speakpipe.com/overthinkingpod

If you'd like to message us you can use the email below or the text link at the top overthinking@theoverbys.com

CONNECT:
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Instagram: @jojohnsonoverby / @matt.overby
Website: https://jojohnsonoverby.com/

Transcript

Cold Open And Name Jokes

SPEAKER_01 0:00

Do you ever think about how Dochson is spelled absolutely bananas?

SPEAKER_00 0:08

I'm assuming it's just like German or something, but right.

SPEAKER_01 0:12

But then people are like a dash hound. Oh have you heard people say dash hound?

Welcome And Chaotic Intro

SPEAKER_00 0:16

I have heard that. Yeah. But I just figured those are people that don't have that dog in them. You're so dumb. That's the level of humor you can expect out of this podcast. Okay. Anyway, welcome. Or if you've been here before, welcome back. Not this before, I guess. This is episode one. We've never done another podcast. We never will do another podcast.

SPEAKER_02 0:41

But this is what's happening.

SPEAKER_00 0:46

It's called an intro. Have you ever heard of it? Going according to rehearsal so far.

SPEAKER_01 0:52

We might have to start rehearsing if this is how it's gonna go. Because holy moly, we can't complete a sentence in these mics. Welcome back.

SPEAKER_00 1:02

Yeah. Same podcast flavor, new podcast taste. No.

SPEAKER_01 1:08

Excuse you. Say that one more time for me. New podcast flavor, same podcast taste.

SPEAKER_00 1:16

Yep.

SPEAKER_01 1:17

That's Matt's best pitch to really pull you in to listen. So just you know what? His diet is perfect. I love it. Let's start there. Did that pull you in? Did we get you up? If you stop listening now, it's gonna get blamed on Matt. So you have to, you have to stay locked in. By golly. Uh we're back and we're maybe worse than ever. I was gonna say better, but hey, the studio setup is more professional than it has ever been.

SPEAKER_00 1:48

Yeah. This is the best we've ever looked.

SPEAKER_01 1:50

Well on the podcast.

SPEAKER_00 1:52

This is the best the podcast has ever looked.

SPEAKER_01 1:54

I don't think it's the I hope it's not the best I've ever looked.

SPEAKER_00 1:56

No, it's not the best we've ever looked. It's the best the podcast has ever looked.

SPEAKER_01 2:00

Correct. Matt did some ADHD research. I like to call it ADHD research because it's different than when a neurotypical person researches, because it is so intense and all-consuming. I mean, Matt was up at all hours of the night Googling things, redditing things, just reading every piece of information he could find on the internet to learn about lights. He was he was scoping eBay.

SPEAKER_00 2:29

Oh, yeah.

Why The Rebrand To Overthinking

SPEAKER_01 2:31

I I'm honestly surprised we've even made it here for how lost Matt was to the hyperfixation that was the technical component of this setup. But we're here, we have a new studio, and we have a new title. We uh were oversharing for almost four years, and we decided when we were going to rebrand, relaunch, that we wanted to do a new name because oversharing just didn't feel like it fit what we were doing anymore. And I don't really know, looking back on it, if it ever fit, because I don't know that I've ever considered us oversharers. I think that oversharing is kind of a funny component of being a content creator and choosing to share online. I think it's easy to call people who choose to share overshares. Yeah. And we were definitely playing up that part. But I think without a doubt, both of us can claim overthinking.

SPEAKER_00 3:31

Yes. Yeah, that's definitely we've got that under control. I think we're actually very conscious of what we share. And uh it was more of just a play on being people who create content. Yeah. So here we are.

Delaying Launch For Current Events

SPEAKER_01 3:43

This is more fitting. This is us. Very excited. Excited to be here. We were supposed to launch January 14th, uh, and we decided to push back a couple weeks just because there have been so many massive current events that I think Matt and I both feel really strongly about.

SPEAKER_00 4:00

Yeah, definitely.

SPEAKER_01 4:02

And uh in light of the murder of Renee Good and Alex Predi and Keith Porter, and uh so many in uh our country that have been put in really horrific situations by ICE recently and not recently. We just felt like our podcast didn't need to be one more thing taking up space um online, especially the marketing efforts and plans that we had had through the month of January. So we kind of scrapped that. We revisited the plan. Um, and here we are. And it's definitely not the rollout that we had planned, but I think it is the rollout that Matt and I both feel best about.

SPEAKER_00 4:50

I mean, like you said, we we wanted to launch in the middle of January with everything happening in Minnesota, especially and uh throughout the country. It was just like, okay, we don't necessarily need to take up space with what we're sharing. Like, as much as we're excited about this, this is a podcast talking about stuff, just talking. It's conversations. It's not political. We will talk what we feel.

SPEAKER_01 5:12

It's a podcast about stuff.

SPEAKER_00 5:14

Yeah. Clip that, promote it. Podcast about stuff. But it it is just conversations, and we really love having those conversations. We won't shy away from our feelings, especially on uh the situations like these that have been going on. But we didn't need to be pushing and promoting in a time when there's a lot of important information to be shared. And every week they went by, it seemed like something else terrible happened. And so fingers crossed, we can launch in a week where fewer atrocities are happening.

SPEAKER_01 5:42

But well, and I think even right now, I I think that 2026 is going to be a year that we held both.

SPEAKER_00 5:51

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 5:51

I think when we look back in the history of our lives, we're gonna look back and see this time as yes, there was joy, and yes, there were things to be enjoyed, but there were also things to be protested and talked about and important conversations to be had. And I'm trying to give myself a little more grace in holding both.

SPEAKER_00 6:11

It's been a trial by fire so far.

Lighten The Mood: Drinks Of The Day

SPEAKER_01 6:13

Yeah, I'm not very good at it. It it feels very, I'm on or off. Anyway, I don't want to get lost trying to explain us there, but I did feel it was important to tell you all why we chose to postpone and just start with that.

SPEAKER_00 6:29

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 6:30

I think the best way to transition for me is just to dive into the most unserious thing possible. What are you drinking today?

SPEAKER_00 6:35

What am I drinking? I've got a drink of the day. Drink, drink of the day. Sung to the tune of out of the box. I'm drinking a uh green ghost, uh sour green apple. Sour green apple ghost.

SPEAKER_01 6:47

I have an Alani.

SPEAKER_00 6:48

Ooh.

SPEAKER_01 6:49

I have an Alani sherbet swirl.

SPEAKER_00 6:52

That's like your signature flavor.

SPEAKER_01 6:53

It is. I really like it. It wasn't one of their permanent flavors at one point, and a friend uh purchased an entire flat of this and brought it to my house.

SPEAKER_00 7:04

I thought you just single-handedly consumed enough that they decided to cement the flavor and it is a permanent flavor now.

SPEAKER_01 7:11

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 7:11

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 7:12

But I did put up a stink wanting it to be one.

SPEAKER_00 7:14

You led a revolt.

SPEAKER_01 7:15

Yeah, I don't think I led a revolt. I don't think enough people care about what I think for that. But I don't know.

SPEAKER_00 7:21

You might, again, you might have single-handedly bought enough Sherbert Swirls.

SPEAKER_01 7:24

That might be true.

SPEAKER_00 7:25

Maybe like the sales dynamics here are off the charts here.

SPEAKER_01 7:29

It's so bizarre. There's thousands of these being sold in northwest Arkansas.

SPEAKER_00 7:34

They're just buying them any anywhere they can.

Building The New Studio

SPEAKER_01 7:36

That was the weird part, is there were flats of it available at Costco in Springfield, Missouri, which is a couple hours from us. It was sold out everywhere in Northwest Arkansas. They couldn't keep an available view. Nowhere. It was killing me. All right, so we are surrounded by your masterpiece that was done in January. Give us a little bit of a little bit of.

SPEAKER_00 7:57

This is my Sistine Chapel. Um if the Sistine Chapel was built in nine days, which was pretty close. I'm pretty sure it's so.

SPEAKER_01 8:08

If the Sistine Chapel was made in nine days and lacked everything that makes it the Sistine Chapel.

SPEAKER_00 8:12

If it was built by just a guy and not artisans over the course of hundreds and hundreds of years. It's offensive to somebody. I'm not even part of the people who are really offended aren't still around. But um anyway. Anyway, yes, so I built this podcast studio as we'd planned to relaunch. Like we wanted a dedicated space because we used to film this in our living room half the time and without a lot of setup, and we have to break it down every week and put it back up, and it just was not a consistent environment. And this the goal here was to make a dedicated space that could live as the podcast. We could walk out, we could walk in and roll.

SPEAKER_01 8:55

So back in September, we started talking about what it would look like to kind of reinvent the podcast and really have a dedicated space where we can put the time and effort that we wanted to. And upon that discussion, Matt said, you know what? I can build us a studio. I could do it. Hubris. And I floated the idea of hiring somebody to come in and help kind of build out the room because that seemed like a lot to put onto Matt's plate moving into the holiday season and New Year's, and we have Halloween, and we're traveling for Thanksgiving, and we had plans to go visit friends in November. And I was like, I don't know when you're gonna get all of that done. And he said, No problem, babe. I got you. I am exceptional, and I am great at time management. And I quote, just kidding. He definitely said that in my life.

SPEAKER_00 9:48

I'm gonna stop you there. Nope.

SPEAKER_01 9:51

Um, but about, oh, I think it was about January 5th.

SPEAKER_00 9:57

No, no, no, no, no, no. Okay, the third, January 3rd. You're the first day or the second day. It was the third day of January.

unknown 10:07

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 10:07

And the following nine or ten days. Uh okay.

SPEAKER_01 10:10

On January 3rd, I looked at Matt and I said, Hey, buddy, you either start on it today or the podcast is canceled.

SPEAKER_00 10:18

That that specific day might have been January 2nd, at which point I was like, I'm starting tomorrow.

SPEAKER_01 10:25

He said, I'm gonna push it one more day just to see if she'll quit.

SPEAKER_00 10:29

The third is is I was like, okay, this has to happen.

SPEAKER_01 10:32

And it's kind of funny because Matt has been telling all of our friends and family that he was going to build this out since September. And not to his face, but to me, every moment we got together with every family and friend, they had been asking me. They'd pull me aside and be like, How's the podcast studio coming? And I'm like, he hasn't started. And they're like, Oh, are you worried? What are you gonna do? And I'm like, I'm not gonna do anything. This is it's it's his bed. He made it, he's gonna sleep in it.

SPEAKER_00 11:01

That's his baby, yeah. Um, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 11:05

And he did.

SPEAKER_00 11:06

Yeah. I it took nine days, pretty much nine days straight.

SPEAKER_01 11:10

Before I let you go on, I do want you to know that every single person I talked to, I said, he'll get it done. Yeah. And they're like, there's no way. I'm like, I was like, no, he'll get it done. I know he will.

SPEAKER_00 11:22

It's true.

SPEAKER_01 11:24

I just wanted you to know that I did have your map.

SPEAKER_00 11:26

I'm not gonna lie, I went over schedule. I thought I could get it done in seven, and it took a full nine to ten.

SPEAKER_01 11:32

Do you feel like 10 days was the appropriate length of time?

SPEAKER_00 11:35

Oh, definitely. Yeah, no, no, no, no, no. Ten days is basically if you don't do any other part of your life, you could maybe do this. It was not a good a good week and a half.

SPEAKER_01 11:50

No, which is maybe the crummiest part about all of it.

SPEAKER_00 11:53

Yeah, that wasn't ideal. Wasn't ideal for literally anyone else.

SPEAKER_01 11:57

I don't think it was ideal for you. Well, I don't know. That is, I like I will say, I think that that's one of our strengths. I recognize that you like to participate in things in an all or nothing fashion.

SPEAKER_00 12:10

I like to think of it as immersion. I love to immerse myself in a project.

Nine-Day Sprint And Drywall Despair

SPEAKER_01 12:14

I would agree with that. I think that's a beautiful way to word it. And I don't think that that's necessarily wrong. I think that it just needs to be communicated about and prepared for because the reason this worked so well this time is I was prepared that when you started, you were going to be in it. And so I prepped everything in our lives to run as smoothly as possible with the idea that I would be solo parenting for nine to ten days.

SPEAKER_00 12:45

Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 12:46

Like I wasn't irritated. I was like, oh, well, it's nice that he was able to do bedtime tonight. Not there was a lot of like work all day.

SPEAKER_00 12:55

Kids get home from school, come up, do dinner, do bedtime, go back out and work until like two in the morning.

SPEAKER_01 13:00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 13:02

Rinse and repeat.

SPEAKER_01 13:03

And there was a point where Matt was down here at about 3 a.m. having a full-blown meltdown. And I walked down, and uh, you wanted me to feel bad for you so bad. So bad. You I mean, you really did. You were laying it on thick. And I will say that when you use this strategy, I don't I don't have a lot of sympathy.

SPEAKER_00 13:28

Yeah, yeah. Tried my best though.

SPEAKER_01 13:31

I did try to calm you down.

SPEAKER_00 13:32

Yeah, that was because I was mudding and taping, uh, which is when you finish drywall, cover it, and make all the seam, because it comes in sheets. You tape over the seams and to make it smooth, to make it one piece. Um, it's not, it's more of an art than a science, and I'm more of a science guy, you know? So I don't know. I you might be an art guy. I like art, but art takes skill, and skill takes time, I think. You did a really beautiful job. It turned out, but the first night was horrible. And I was having a mental breakdown, and I was like, this is the dumbest thing I've ever done. I'll never be able to fix this. I've ruined four good days of work. Because right up until then, I was like, I was framing, I was hanging dry. Well, all these things I've done, because I grew up, uh, I helped my dad finish my basement in my family home when I was probably 10, 11, 12, 13.

SPEAKER_01 14:23

Anyway, so I somewhere in that five-year period.

SPEAKER_00 14:26

Yeah, yeah. But I was 12 when I was doing a lot of the stuff. But anyway, I I grew up and I saw my dad do a lot of this stuff, so I kind of knew if not the details of how everything was done, kind of how achievable stuff was. And so I f I felt good about that. That stuff was going smoothly. I it went smoother than I expected, honestly, right up until mudding and taping. And then I was like, oh no, this is not it. I can't do this. I'm dying. And I've ruined all the hard work I've done. That was the big feeling. And you're like, honestly, for the first attempt, I don't even think it's that bad.

SPEAKER_01 15:02

I watch a lot of home content. Yeah, I follow a lot of people who DIY projects. I've watched a lot of people mud and tape for the first time. He did totally fine. It's hard.

SPEAKER_00 15:15

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 15:15

Uh, at least that's what they say. I've never tried it.

SPEAKER_00 15:19

I had never tried it either. Even my dad, who we did our entire basement, hired that part out.

SPEAKER_01 15:25

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 15:26

Nothing else but that we hired.

SPEAKER_01 15:28

Well, and I feel like the people who are good at it are precise, like they have precision. They are practice, they are machines. Yeah. Uh yeah.

SPEAKER_00 15:36

Well, because sometimes, sometimes when you hire a professional, it's about how fast they can do it. As opposed to like if some things, if you take enough time, you can do a good, a pretty good job. It just will take you a really long time. Like, it took me a lot longer to frame out these walls than it would somebody who frames professionally. But at the end, I had some well-framed walls. Mud and tape is faster and better. Yeah. Like, that's what you're paying for. You're paying for somebody that really knows what they're doing and they do it well.

SPEAKER_01 16:07

I agree.

SPEAKER_00 16:08

So.

SPEAKER_01 16:08

But you made it out.

SPEAKER_00 16:09

But you get what you pay for, and this is what we got.

SPEAKER_01 16:12

Yeah, something like that.

SPEAKER_00 16:14

They're off camera. You'll never know what it's like.

SPEAKER_01 16:17

No, they look really good. They really do. I I've been very impressed. Matt's planning on continuing the project outside of this room and doing uh an office space and a little photography studio space for me. And the thing about that is the photography studio space will have drywall as the backdrop. And they define different textures uh of drywall at different levels. And a level five is a completely smooth drywall, and that's what you want for a photography studio backdrop. And so Mass. No blemishes. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 16:53

Completely skim coated.

SPEAKER_01 16:54

He's been practicing his level five uh drywalling for me.

SPEAKER_00 16:58

This would be practice, not level five.

SPEAKER_01 17:01

I feel like you did pretty good though. For a first attempt, I did pretty good. I have the utmost confidence then that when you get to redoing the office and finishing out the rest of this garage, that you've got it in the bag.

SPEAKER_00 17:12

If I give myself more than two days, I feel really solid about it.

SPEAKER_01 17:16

And I think that's a requirement. Yes. I don't ever want to see you do a project like that again.

SPEAKER_00 17:22

No, it's not good for you. It's horrible. Yeah.

Neurodivergence, Inertia, And Communication

SPEAKER_01 17:26

It makes me really, really miserable and grumpy. Which I I hate. We've talked about this a little bit off camera and not on microphones, but it's really tough working on a project like this with the podcast for me, because as much as we do frame it lightheartedly, I think that it is the harder part of me being a more neurotypical thinking, processing, functioning person with you and your brain working differently and supporting you in that while also not letting it um feel personal to me. Does that make sense? Am I am I clocking?

SPEAKER_00 18:12

That that definitely makes sense. And just like you're somebody who can do a little bit of a project at a time. And so watching somebody work for 12 to 14 hours a day, nine days in a row, on anywhere between like two and four hours of sleep is not a uh it just doesn't compute for you. You're like, this is crazy, and you've had four months to do this. Like, as much as it sounds impressive to build a studio in nine or ten days when you had four months prior, that's less impressive. That's more just like a bad idea.

SPEAKER_01 18:51

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 18:52

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 18:52

I agree. It's still impressive.

SPEAKER_00 18:55

It's a feat, but it's very much a why. It's like setting the world record for stacking office chairs. Like, it's a world record. I don't know what it serves. Yeah. I don't think that was a good comparison. Like, that was not a good metaphor, but I followed through with it. And I said it like it made sense. And if I hadn't said anything, you'd have been confused.

SPEAKER_01 19:18

And I sat and I I'm thinking about it still. I was trying.

SPEAKER_00 19:21

So you just cut your camera so that we couldn't see how confused you look, and then it would look very smart.

Bad Dad, Mean Mom: Parenting Moment

SPEAKER_01 19:28

All right. We're we're we're bringing back bad dad, mean mom. Uh this is a segment where we like to talk about some parenting failures of ours. And this week is definitely more mean mom than bad dad, in my opinion.

SPEAKER_00 19:43

Normally parenting goes perfectly for everybody. You're so right. And so we like to just take little pieces that make us look, you know, a little more human.

SPEAKER_01 19:52

Oh, totally. Uh, this week for me, I wrote down trying to explain cell service to a two-year-old and a four-year-old. How'd that go? Poorly. I uh was solo parenting. Matt did an overnight trip with friends to a little cabin. Meet me at the is it cat at the cottage. I think he says cottage. Meet me at the cottage. I'm coming to the cottage. I'm coming to the cottage. I'm coming to the cottage. Matt went with some buddies to the cottage.

SPEAKER_00 20:25

Uh me and the boys went to the cottage.

SPEAKER_01 20:27

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 20:27

What about it?

SPEAKER_01 20:29

What about it?

SPEAKER_00 20:29

We're a progressive group.

SPEAKER_01 20:31

There was no cell service. And so I was prepared that he may not have cell service. Did not consider it all that I did not prepare the children that you wouldn't have cell service. Yeah. And so it got to we tried to call you around dinner time, and I was like, oh, he didn't answer. And then at bedtime, we tried to give you another ring and it wasn't going through.

SPEAKER_00 20:58

At that point, my phone was dead.

SPEAKER_01 21:00

And that was the point that things started to get real iffy. There was the conversation of, well, we don't have to FaceTime him, just call him. And I was like, oh no, no, I'm not even trying to FaceTime. Like, there's no service. In which the way that I communicated it to them, they then translated as you were never coming home. So that wasn't good. Like they thought their dad was just like done.

SPEAKER_00 21:24

They went with the well, we can FaceTime anybody anytime, or we can try. If we can't even try, he's there's there is no dad anymore. Right. Dad's gone.

SPEAKER_01 21:33

And so then they were devastated about that, understandably. Plus side, they missed me. Yes.

SPEAKER_00 21:39

You know, they weren't like, well, dads come, dads go.

SPEAKER_01 21:42

Yeah. And I anyway, I just I felt bad. I felt so bad. I wish that I would have prepared them that when we say bye to dad right now, we may not be able to talk to him at all until tomorrow or Sunday or whatever.

SPEAKER_00 21:58

Yeah, that would have been. Would have been the move, I could have also prepared them. Like, hey, I won't get to talk to you, but there's just also a reflex of like, well, talk to you later. Bye. And then not so much.

SPEAKER_01 22:12

I ended up telling them that I would give them a play-by-play on the story, How I Met Their Dad.

SPEAKER_00 22:19

How did that go?

SPEAKER_01 22:21

It was good. Uh, I gave them the whole story. I told them that for our first date, we went to go see the blind side. They asked me what the blind side was. I was telling them about football. And then they like couldn't keep it straight and kept asking me if they could see pictures of when you played football. And I was like, no.

SPEAKER_00 22:37

No, actually, in high school, he was a very skinny, slender boy that did not have any business playing football. Would have been broken in half.

SPEAKER_01 22:50

I don't think that's true at all. I think you're forgetting what high school football players look like.

SPEAKER_00 22:54

That's fair.

SPEAKER_01 22:55

You just played soccer.

SPEAKER_00 22:56

Yeah. And I looked like it.

SPEAKER_01 22:58

You were plenty big to play high school football.

SPEAKER_00 23:02

Also I needed some muscle mass to play. Yeah. To play football.

SPEAKER_01 23:08

You definitely weren't somebody I would define as mass.

SPEAKER_00 23:10

No, I was not a mass forward boy.

SPEAKER_01 23:13

No. But I didn't know anybody in high school that was mass forward.

unknown 23:17

No.

SPEAKER_00 23:18

16-year-old boy is not usually known for mass.

Vlogmas Streaks, Comments, And Editing

SPEAKER_01 23:23

No. So I did hear that you became quite the content creator in December. I don't know why I'm asking, like I'm hearing about things about you from anybody.

SPEAKER_00 23:31

Like you also didn't have to support my content creation career. Yeah, all of December.

SPEAKER_01 23:35

Yeah, I did do that. So tell me a little more about that, I guess.

SPEAKER_00 23:39

Yeah, I decided to participate in Vlogmas, which I did zero research on what Vlogmas was beforehand. I did understand that I had to make daily videos. I didn't understand the nuances of it or like the format that it typically takes. So my videos were kind of all over the place. But I did do daily videos almost through the end of the month, which apparently you're supposed to stop at Christmas, which makes sense why it's Vlogmas, like as in Christmas, not Vlog Sember. Um Vlog Sembers so cool.

SPEAKER_01 24:11

You should do that next year.

SPEAKER_00 24:12

I was doing a Vlog Sember Vlogmas hybrid because basically I got to December 26th or 7th, realized, oh, like nobody else is doing these videos, and then I only did like one or two more the rest of the month. So I I was every day up until December 26th, and then did like two or three more.

SPEAKER_01 24:31

You are uh easy to convince to quit kind of guy. I you're like, oh, nobody else is doing it? Never mind.

SPEAKER_00 24:40

I really do. I believe in if all my friends jumped off a cliff, why wouldn't I jump off a cliff? All my friends just jumped off. Right. Like that is my personal philosophy.

SPEAKER_01 24:50

That's a core value of yours.

SPEAKER_00 24:51

The core value of mine is like no man left behind, especially if it's me.

SPEAKER_01 24:56

Especially if it's me. One of my favorite parts about you being back on the internet is the comment section. I love that you respond to almost every single comment people leave.

SPEAKER_00 25:07

It got a little challenging when I was doing content every single day. Some of those days got away from me.

SPEAKER_01 25:12

Yeah, but you responded to a lot of comments.

SPEAKER_00 25:14

What's the video of?

SPEAKER_01 25:16

Oh, okay. Sorry. It's the Carb Carbonara. Carbonara? Carbonara. Carbonara, your best performing video from your entire month of Vlogmas. Was your video making Carbonara?

SPEAKER_02 25:28

Really?

SPEAKER_01 25:29

Yes. You had some other ones that were trends that performed better, but it was your boat, it was your best true vlog.

SPEAKER_00 25:36

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 25:37

Like it was something that you edited, voiced over, etc.

SPEAKER_00 25:41

I did get a lot better at editing. You did? The first week I was unbelievably slow. You were slow the whole month, man. No offense. Well, I was unbelievably slow the first week. And then I was just slow after that. I improved as slow.

SPEAKER_01 25:56

Yeah. Yeah. You weren't, you definitely weren't quick, but some it made me laugh because people were kind of trolling you. Somebody commented and said, How would you make this if someone doesn't eat eggs or bacon? And you said the answer is cereal. I liked that you just rolled with whatever people said.

SPEAKER_00 26:13

I find that's the best way to explain.

SPEAKER_01 26:14

So he said, I can't believe we've we're almost in double digits. And you said, It feels just as insane to me.

SPEAKER_00 26:22

I have, for those who don't know, a long track record of starting to make content and that lasting for between three days and three months. And then disappearing for equally as long. So this was an attempt for me to make content, show up regularly. I was doing good with that and wanted to carry it into January, and then I started making a podcast studio because I kind of screwed myself on that one. And so I fell off the wagon building a podcast studio. And I won't lie, it felt a little bit weird to start back into content as everything in Minnesota was going on. And so I think as the podcast is rolling out, my goal is to start back up, making regularly scheduled content. Because I didn't want to share the podcast building studio, like podcast studio building in real time, just so that we could do it with the launch.

SPEAKER_01 27:16

Yeah. It did make me laugh, though, that a lot of people, as your content streak went on, people kept making jokes of like, we may never see Matt again. This is his last ditch effort. He may only be here for smoke him while you got him.

SPEAKER_00 27:32

That's a good Matt Overby content philosophy.

February As The New January

SPEAKER_01 27:35

I do think it's really fun that people online have gotten to know your personality and things about you in that way, that it has become a bit because I think so many people talk about how consistency is so important to having an online audience and creating content. And I I do think it's important.

SPEAKER_00 27:57

I think you are saved by the fact that I have a certain uh yeah, I have a consistent set of training wheels that go with me. Um where when people don't see my content because it's not being made, they they have you.

SPEAKER_01 28:11

Right. And so I'm not trying to say that it's possible to do this and anybody, whatever. I just think it's cool to see an audience like enjoy you. I don't know. I I you're you're fun. So that was really fun for me to watch. I really enjoyed it. I'm hoping that we'll have some recurring pieces of content and then maybe I can share some of the funny comments as they come.

SPEAKER_00 28:37

That that's my goal too. And so, again, with the rollout of the podcast, with having the studio behind me and being able to take on a project at a reasonable pace, like doing the office, I'm excited to get back into doing that. That's probably a good segue to what we really wanted to talk about today, which of course is February new year planning. Obviously, it was just February 1st. It's time to set resolutions, goals for the new year. January was a wash. Nobody wants January.

SPEAKER_01 29:09

I really do think that I am going to start thinking of my calendar year and when it comes to goal setting, more as a starting in the spring because I feel like it's a recurring issue for me every single year that in January and February I get so down on myself when I don't feel like I'm making the progress I want to on the fresh goals that I've set. But I feel like January and February are kind of tough months to make a lot of progress on some types of goals, not everything. Like I think it's definitely a time that I could be focusing on any kind of goals I have for maybe my health or inside goals. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 29:52

I like it. It's kind of like a circadian rhythm for goals and life. Like in terms of you have the circadian rhythm of like the sun comes up, that's when you're really supposed to like go, you know, when the sun goes down, you're supposed to go to sleep.

SPEAKER_02 30:05

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 30:06

This is kind of that approach, as opposed to being stuck to the calendar or the clock. As the case for the circadian anyway. Thought it was a good comp, and then you looked at me like No, I'm No.

SPEAKER_01 30:16

I'm just listening and looking that your mics held the wrong way. Oh, perfect, perfect, perfect.

Systems vs Willpower And Habits

SPEAKER_00 30:21

I do think that I mean, I'm someone who I have a real love-hate relationship with the calendar because I just talked to my therapist about this today, actually. I have a real tendency, like when I break a habit, I'm like, well, this this month is over. I I love a good hard reset in terms of and it's arbitrary. Like the number of times that and I was making a joke this weekend about it. Actually, like you set a goal and you're working on it in the new year, and then it gets to March, and you break your habit, and then you put it off, and all of a sudden you haven't done it, and you're like, you know what, this year's a wash, I'm done with it. And then you get to November and you're like, why did I quit in March? Like the whole year was left, but it seemed like it was over at that time, and that's um unfortunately how things work for me sometimes. But February, starting in the spring, doing that is a better approach, I think, for actually integrating changes.

SPEAKER_01 31:22

Yeah, I don't relate to that.

SPEAKER_00 31:24

No, I'm glad you don't because it's not a great philosophy.

SPEAKER_01 31:28

I love to check in and I love New Year's and I love setting goals and things like that, but I have never really related to the way chunks of time work. And I remember I like this is something that will live with me for the rest of my life. I'm never gonna forget it. And I think that it's kind of in the vein of what you're talking about. One of Matt's very, very best friends, when Matt was living in St. Louis, his best friend had moved back here in Fayetteville, but he didn't really have like a big friend group. And so once a week, him and I would go get lunch.

SPEAKER_00 32:03

Yeah, it was just my girlfriend and my buddy.

SPEAKER_01 32:05

You're one of your best friends, yeah. And so I remember we're sitting there, we're eating lunch one day, and Matt's friend said, No, I'm not contributing to my retirement because I'm already too far behind.

SPEAKER_00 32:20

He was 25 tops.

SPEAKER_01 32:24

And I remember, I remember in that moment, like it has stuck with me.

SPEAKER_00 32:30

There's a reason we're friends because I probably was like, man, if I hadn't started already, I totally get it. Yep. Like, that's for the next life.

SPEAKER_01 32:39

This was almost 10 years ago, and it still lives rent-free in my head.

SPEAKER_00 32:45

Father of three now.

SPEAKER_01 32:46

And I was like, like, he he was single at the time. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 32:51

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 32:51

Or maybe, maybe him and his wife were dating.

SPEAKER_00 32:53

No, I don't think so.

SPEAKER_01 32:54

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 32:55

I I feel like he was just single and then he was married, but that's not true. Because it was also like, I'm probably just never gonna get married. Like, I just don't think it's gonna happen.

SPEAKER_01 33:03

Right. Okay, this is all true.

SPEAKER_00 33:05

It's probably hand in hand. He's like, I'm gonna die alone with no money. We are both fathers of three at this point.

SPEAKER_01 33:11

But I remember that blew my mind, and I came home to tell you about it, and you were like, Yeah, that makes perfect sense to me. And I've been trying to figure you out ever since.

SPEAKER_00 33:21

Because I I just don't so curious that she married me.

SPEAKER_01 33:26

I do a little bit at a time. I am a little bit at a time girl. I do.

SPEAKER_00 33:32

Great saber, you're a great planner.

SPEAKER_01 33:33

I do, and I do all of that. I do a little bit at a time. It looks really unimpressive at first. It always does. And if you keep at it for a long time and are consistent, it eventually starts to look impressive.

SPEAKER_00 33:50

Sure. And but you can't get there without no time.

SPEAKER_01 33:55

You have to do the time and you have to take on a habit at a level in which you can commit to.

SPEAKER_00 34:01

Yeah.

unknown 34:02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 34:02

I mean, that really is the key. What can you commit to?

SPEAKER_00 34:05

Me, I can commit to building a room in nine days. Because I can see immediate results.

SPEAKER_01 34:10

I feel like if you committed to building a room in nine days, you'd try to do it in four. 100%. You can commit to building a room in four months, and then you do it in nine days.

SPEAKER_00 34:22

Yep. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 34:23

But just to clarify.

SPEAKER_00 34:24

That's my plan with my whole life. In that last 15 years, boom.

SPEAKER_01 34:29

You're not really a goal setter.

SPEAKER_00 34:31

Um goals rely on a concept of the future and developing slowly. And I don't have a good grasp on either one of those. I think one day I'm just gonna be great at something. Maybe, or I'll never do it. And it's not a good uh, it's not a good goal setting philosophy, but you've uh you've helped me a lot, actually, with goals, I will say. You've you've done a lot of really good because I hate to start. I always describe myself as a high inertia person, which is such bullshit.

SPEAKER_01 35:05

It's you okay, you don't like the spin propaganda.

SPEAKER_00 35:07

You don't like the spin, but it's a really good phrase. It's a good phrase. No, it's and that's why you hate it, because it sounds so good, but what it is is kind of shitty.

SPEAKER_01 35:16

That's my exact point.

SPEAKER_00 35:18

But that's good branding. That's branding, baby. Okay, anyway, high inertia person. Very hard to start, very hard to stop. That means when you get going on something, I have the ability to keep going until I physically collapse.

SPEAKER_01 35:35

I'd like to go ahead and pause and talk about. Didn't Matt just a minute ago talk about how he's really quick to quit and stop?

SPEAKER_00 35:44

That's a habit. That's a habit. It's not like a project. It has to be self-contained. It has to be self-contained.

SPEAKER_01 35:52

It has to be self-contained. But if you can get Matt started on folding laundry, he might finish folding the laundry.

SPEAKER_00 35:59

Okay. If it's all available to be folded and doesn't require me to start and stop folding laundry. If you handed me a mountain of laundry, all the laundry is washed and dried at one time. That's a great example, actually.

unknown 36:10

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 36:11

All the laundry is washed and folded at one time.

SPEAKER_01 36:14

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 36:15

It's it fills the entire bed three feet high.

SPEAKER_01 36:18

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 36:18

Which one of us is gonna get through that?

SPEAKER_01 36:22

Which one of us is gonna put ourselves in that situation?

SPEAKER_00 36:25

No, no.

SPEAKER_01 36:27

See, this is why it's dumb.

SPEAKER_00 36:29

High inertia, baby.

SPEAKER_01 36:33

Matt's like, hey, if you put me in this really precarious, crazy situation where we had to just do labor for hours on end and make ourselves miserable. High inertia, high inertia, labor for and then it goes around calling me low inertia. Like that's agile.

SPEAKER_00 36:54

So you brand is agile.

SPEAKER_01 36:56

I'm not agile. You can pick it up, you can study, consistent, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 37:02

I am reliable, reliable, agile, hostile, but just to me when I talk about initial inertia.

SPEAKER_01 37:12

Okay, go ahead. Give your give your high inertia lowest.

SPEAKER_00 37:16

I already I already did it. It's fine. I'm good at continuing, but you're really good at starting, and you're good at like you've done a really good job in a lot of things where you know me really well and you help push me to start. Sometimes it's just like I'm gonna start doing it myself, being you.

SPEAKER_01 37:32

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 37:33

Then I'm like, well, I gotta get involved. And then you can just walk away.

SPEAKER_01 37:37

That's become less and less effective.

SPEAKER_00 37:41

It's hard to trick me. I'm very smart.

SPEAKER_01 37:48

You're insufferable. Oh, that's really funny.

SPEAKER_00 37:54

Did I talk to my therapist about that? That it's hard to trick myself. If I could just trick myself, stuff would be so much easier. But I start to not trust myself. I'm like, I think I'm trying to trick me. I think I'm trying to make myself do something good because I don't want to. You ever had that level of demand avoidance?

SPEAKER_01 38:17

Babe, I've never experienced demand avoidance in my life. Somebody asked me to do something. I am a people pleaser. You ask me to do anything, I'm like, yeah, no problem. You ask me to do something else. You can be like, hey, I'm manipulating you, and I would like you to do this, this, and this for me. I'm like, yep, got it. I'm on it. Like, PDA fears me.

SPEAKER_00 38:37

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 38:38

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 38:38

Our two-year-old asks something. I'm like, I think he's trying to get me. I think like the how is he how is he scheming to get me to do something?

SPEAKER_01 38:48

Quite literally, I can't say enough to him that children can't manipulate you.

SPEAKER_00 38:54

Can I have gotten better at not acting on that? But it's hard. Sometimes I'm just like, this baby is trying to get me to do something.

SPEAKER_01 39:03

Yeah. Meet its needs.

SPEAKER_00 39:06

I know. But what's its motive? To have its needs met. That's weird.

SPEAKER_01 39:14

I don't like that at all. Let's go ahead and reel that back and never say it again.

SPEAKER_00 39:21

Don't trust the babies. You seen Boss Baby? Documentary.

SPEAKER_01 39:26

I'd like you to know Matt's 100% clip farming right now.

SPEAKER_00 39:33

What tipped you off when I stared down the barrel?

SPEAKER_01 39:37

It said, Boss Baby, that's a documentary. Boss baby, documentary. Like, what are you doing?

SPEAKER_00 39:51

Our job, damn it. You want clips? This I'll get you, I'll get you clips. Is that somebody putting down our podcast? Every year.

SPEAKER_01 40:03

Overthinking with the overpeas. 2026 to 2026.

SPEAKER_00 40:09

February 3rd to February 3rd. Oh, that was good. That was good podcasting.

SPEAKER_01 40:14

Can I ask you about one of your goals of the year? Are you just gonna freak out and think I'm manipulating you?

SPEAKER_00 40:19

Don't do that.

SPEAKER_01 40:21

We've set goals on a podcast, I think three years now. And if there's one way to guarantee something won't happen, it's make Matt commit to it on a podcast.

SPEAKER_00 40:36

I really thought, see, you know what it was? I thought the public accountability would help me. And then I think I thought I was trying to trick myself with the public accountability. You are well, I was, but then I felt manipulated by me.

SPEAKER_01 40:51

And so you wanted to prove to yourself that you can't be held accountable. No one can does anybody listening even know what PDA is?

SPEAKER_00 41:01

Pathological demand avoidance.

SPEAKER_01 41:03

It's made up, in my opinion.

Real Goals: Restarting After Slips

SPEAKER_00 41:06

I think it's Joe believes it stands for just like being a dickhead, but spelling it however I want.

SPEAKER_01 41:13

Yep.

SPEAKER_00 41:14

Yeah. Not actually, but no, she's seen how nonsensical it is, and she's like, this has to be a disorder, but it's kind of fucked up. It's horrible. It is, but it's also so self-induced. It's not, it's not not self-induced like you started it with yourself. It's just like the negative outcomes are so self-induced. Right. That you're like, why are you doing this to yourself?

SPEAKER_01 41:40

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 41:41

It's not a it's not a disorder that feels very like, oh man, what a what a tough break. It's like, wow, they really fucked around and found out.

SPEAKER_01 41:51

Well, I really do think I'm starting to feel the pendulum swing on mental health.

SPEAKER_00 41:55

Because this this podcast is anti-mental health.

SPEAKER_01 41:59

No, there was this point that I'm like, no, we need to understand people. And now I'm like, we gotta swing it back.

SPEAKER_00 42:04

You know what? That is something we agree on a little bit. Is there is so much conversation about um how to support people's mental health, supporting people's mental health, which I think is good, and I don't think we do enough things to be clear.

SPEAKER_01 42:17

I'm not actually anti-mental health.

SPEAKER_00 42:19

Access to mental health, super important, accommodating people's mental health, important, but there is also a degree where we have to balance the functioning of a society in terms of you have to be able to fit in. You can't just be an abrasive person because that's what feels most natural to you, because everyone has to do some level of working together.

SPEAKER_01 42:41

Well, and I don't think that individuals having uh more leeway actually leads to better mental health outcomes. I think that we're trying to treat a systemic issue with individual privileges. Yeah. And it doesn't work. Like we need to work together to fix systemic problems that will then result in better flow of health care and mental health care as a whole.

SPEAKER_00 43:07

And not to get into it, but well, it's it's the it's the individual rights conversation of like my rights end where your rights begin. Right. You can't just use your rights to plow over other people's experience and life as much as like you want to accommodate somebody as much as you can and not impede everyone else. So that's a that's a hard balance to strike, but sometimes it does feel like it gets pushed too far into like you have to accommodate everything about me that is not a strength. Yes. And that's where it gets challenging.

SPEAKER_01 43:40

Well, and I think that's somewhere that our marriage has been really challenging, it's probably not the right word.

SPEAKER_00 43:45

It's been a beating.

SPEAKER_01 43:47

That's what that's why being married to you has been.

SPEAKER_00 43:49

It's awful. I'm on a podcast talking about stuff. She's getting really annoyed. Because I don't know where you're going. I don't either. You gotta enjoy the ride.

SPEAKER_02 44:03

Matt's like clip, clip, clip, clip.

SPEAKER_00 44:06

What's wrong with Matt? Like, I don't feel like you're about to make money anymore. I'm about to land this plane.

SPEAKER_02 44:20

I don't think you even know what I was saying, which is fine.

SPEAKER_01 44:25

Okay, wait, pause. Matt and I.

SPEAKER_00 44:32

But if you do want to know my goals, um, I want to be able to restart the habits that I break.

SPEAKER_01 44:40

That's really good.

SPEAKER_00 44:42

And that's somewhere I've made a lot of progress, I think, in the last year of just not quitting in March, like I was talking about earlier. It's going, damn it, okay. Well, April, I'm really gonna actually pick it up again.

SPEAKER_01 44:57

And just giving myself a little bit of uh grace in terms of just if you miss a workout or even a week of workouts, you can go back to work out again?

SPEAKER_00 45:06

Yes, and not being like, well, shit, I'm out of shape for the rest of my life. Like, because that is the feeling in the moment. The moment is like, man, you didn't you didn't work out today, you didn't work out yesterday. Like, what are you doing?

SPEAKER_01 45:20

Does saying it out loud help?

SPEAKER_00 45:22

Like, does saying how absurd it is? Yeah, yeah. Some of it. Some of it is just going, that's one of the dumber things I've heard today. It came out of your mouth.

SPEAKER_01 45:31

Because when you say it out loud to me, I'm like, that sounds crazy.

SPEAKER_00 45:34

It does.

SPEAKER_01 45:35

But if you don't say it out loud, does it feel crazy in your head?

Wrap Up And Ways To Engage

SPEAKER_00 45:38

You know, I don't have an internal monologue. One. Okay. So it's just a feeling of like, well, that's it. Your life is over. I'm never gonna save a retirement. Pass me by, it's never gonna grow. It's just that feeling. And then if you don't ever check that feeling or you don't ever communicate that feeling to someone else to go, wow, that is a sad sack. Like, not that's not a real thing. It's really easy just to act on it and never go there. So and that's that's been the thing is uh when it comes to working out, I've had a real habit of like, okay, if I'm eating the way I want to eat and I'm working out and I'm doing all the things, then I'll be good with it. But if I break any one of those, they can all fall apart. And so this last year's been a lot of like, okay, you didn't follow the diet you were trying to follow, but you can still go to your workouts, or you didn't go to your workouts, you can still just doing parts of things, like that's a big goal, and it's kind of like a whole thought process change. I don't even know if it's feasible, but it's just trying to keep it consciously.

SPEAKER_01 46:46

No, I think that's cool. I think that's a really cool goal. I like that.

unknown 46:49

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 46:50

I went a really different direction with my answer. Yeah. I want to work with Sonic. That's what I wrote down. That's a great goal. I didn't know that we were doing like big emotional.

SPEAKER_00 47:01

Well, I'm trying to get some emotional clips, some funny clips. Trying to do it all, you know.

SPEAKER_01 47:08

I uh don't have anything like that.

SPEAKER_00 47:10

We'll clip the Sonic bit, see if Sonic wants to work with us.

SPEAKER_01 47:13

I think I gotta just keep, you know.

SPEAKER_00 47:15

Right there, over there, maybe. I don't know.

SPEAKER_01 47:20

Okay, now it's weird. Now I wish videos. Now I wish I wouldn't have even said it.

SPEAKER_00 47:24

Sorry, cut that.

SPEAKER_01 47:25

Cut that, cut that.

SPEAKER_00 47:26

My real goal is to deadlift 500 pounds. Is it really? I don't know. I bet I could do it though if I worked at it.

SPEAKER_01 47:34

I bet I could meet a goal if I try. If I set a goal like that, what do you deadlift right now?

SPEAKER_00 47:40

I haven't I haven't deadlifted for max weight in a year.

SPEAKER_01 47:44

Okay, well, then it seems really dumb to make that your goal.

SPEAKER_00 47:47

I'll start. It'll be a series I don't know.

SPEAKER_01 47:51

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 47:52

I'll do it in jeans. I don't know what I'm saying.

SPEAKER_01 47:59

I don't either. So stupid. I really thought episode one we'd keep it on the rails, but turns out that's definitely not gonna happen. So Jesus Mother.

SPEAKER_00 48:13

Uh, the rails were the friends we met along the way. And ain't that the truth?

SPEAKER_01 48:19

Well, on that note, you can rate the podcast, you can review the podcast, you can leave us kind words, you can leave us a voicemail, you can email us because we love, love, love, love talking with you all and reading your messages and listening to your voicemails. All of that will be in the show notes below. Yep. Every Wednesday, we'll be back here to chit-chat. And I would love to say that we're gonna get it more together. But you know what?

SPEAKER_00 48:49

That's our goal.

SPEAKER_01 48:50

Relaunch, the goal already happened. This is the result, and this is, I guess, the best we could do.

SPEAKER_00 48:58

We're doing it. We did it.

SPEAKER_01 48:59

We're in better lighting, if nothing else.

SPEAKER_00 49:01

We look great doing it.