The Gospel of Vyvanse

Flight delays, a surprise EV at 2:30 a.m., and a 12-hour shoot set the scene for a larger talk about energy, identity, and telling the truth. We reflect on a life-changing ADHD medication switch, a viral unfollow debate, and how to model resilience, honesty, and repair.

• travel delays, fatigue and adapting plans
• first-time EV rental and learning on the fly
• ADHD med change restoring focus and emotional range
• accountability versus blame in relationships
• unfollowing creators for life changes and quiet sexism
• is lying ever okay and using omission carefully
• parenting with MS and separating identity from diagnosis
• easy houseplants, propagation and fertilizer tips

If you've got a thought to share or are looking for a bit of advice on something, leave us a voicemail at the link below!

https://www.speakpipe.com/overthinkingpod

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Website:  https://jojohnsonoverby.com/

Transcript

Travel Chaos And Tarmac Limbo

SPEAKER_00 0:02

Oh no, I'm tangled.

unknown 0:04

I'm tangled.

SPEAKER_01 0:07

Okay, well, I'm Joe. I'm Matt. Welcome back to Overthinking. Oh man.

SPEAKER_00 0:15

What a week. What a week.

SPEAKER_01 0:17

I know. I kind of had, well, I'm exhausted, but I had a little bit of a parenting break over the weekend. So you replaced it with traveling. And working.

SPEAKER_00 0:32

Aggressive traveling.

SPEAKER_01 0:33

We shot 16 hours of photos while we were there. Yeah. I was on my feet with a camera for nearly 16 hours while we were there.

SPEAKER_00 0:43

So I don't know that it was a physical break, but no.

SPEAKER_01 0:46

I mean, I traveled to work for my best friend. Yeah. But I'm the cheapest labor she's got.

SPEAKER_00 0:52

So it's nice.

SPEAKER_01 0:55

And it was brutal because we flew out of the X and A airport, which is our local airport. We took an allegiance flight and we got on the plane. The flight got delayed an hour and a half. They loaded everybody onto the plane. They took off like from the airport out to the tarmac, you know? And then they were like, we gotta wait a little bit because there's congestion for takeoff. We were like, okay, almost two and a half hours. Nope. We sat there.

SPEAKER_00 1:26

That's like the whole flight.

SPEAKER_01 1:28

Yeah. Then we finally take off. Okay, the flight was delayed an hour and a half. And then we sat on the tarmac for two hours. Then we finally took off. Land in Fort Lauderdale, sat on the tarmac for another hour and a half because they didn't have a gate for us to get out in.

SPEAKER_00 1:46

They didn't have a gate for an hour and a half? For an hour and a half. I guess you were delayed two and a half hours, so I'm sure they filled whatever gates.

SPEAKER_01 1:53

We were delayed two and a half hours, plus it was delayed an hour and a half before that.

SPEAKER_00 1:58

Oh, yeah. I'm just saying the delay two and a half hours on the.

SPEAKER_01 2:02

Four hours late. And then we ended up getting there like I don't know. Five hours later than we were at the rental car place like five hours later than we thought we would. We thought we were gonna be rolling into the resort between midnight and 1 a.m. because we still had to do a drive to the keys, and we were like, yeah, we'll take this cheaper flight, it's no big deal because it was so inexpensive. Well, damn. And so we picked up our rental car at 2:30 a.m. And the person at the car rental place is like, uh, well, we only have EV vehicles. Is that okay? We're like, I guess, but we don't know anything about driving an electric car or charging it or what's etiquette in charging it, how long do you have to charge it? Where do you charge it? Do you, you know, like we know nothing.

SPEAKER_00 2:52

All that stuff also varies by vehicle, right?

SPEAKER_01 2:54

And we have we know nothing.

SPEAKER_00 2:56

They gave us no information. You weren't the person to drop an EV car on.

SPEAKER_01 3:00

No, and so they dropped the EV car on us. We're like, well, whatever, we'll we'll take it. And we drive down, we rolled into our room at 5 a.m. Nice. And so, and then that day when we we went to bed, we woke up, and that was like our only kind of full day. We only worked the evening that day. But by the time we got up and felt like garbage all afternoon from not sleeping, and you weren't refreshed from like two and a half hours of sleep.

SPEAKER_00 3:30

It was so brutal.

SPEAKER_01 3:31

Uh, and then we shot into the evening and then went to bed, and the next day we shot a 12-hour wedding day.

SPEAKER_00 3:39

Love that. Love that for you. Yeah. I do have an important question though.

SPEAKER_01 3:43

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 3:43

Is it worse to be delayed before you go into the air or after?

SPEAKER_01 3:47

Before? No, no, no. It's worse after.

SPEAKER_00 3:50

When you're just at the airport and you can see it?

SPEAKER_01 3:52

I don't think that's it. I was thinking about either if you have a connecting flight or somebody's picking you up. Okay. Or like, do you know what I mean? Sure.

SPEAKER_00 4:02

When you land, for whoever's picking you up, and they're just like, I'm here. I can I could drive out there.

SPEAKER_01 4:10

Exactly. Because I was thinking about that because we waited on the when we landed back in XNA, we waited 45 minutes on the tarmac. Uh no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

SPEAKER_00 4:20

I was like, I'm lying to you.

SPEAKER_01 4:22

I'm lying to you. It was before. Oh. At St. Fort Lauderdale again. We waited an hour on the tarmac before we took off.

SPEAKER_00 4:29

And I was still a little bit late to pick you up. So it was if it was 45 minutes at XNA, I'm like, I should have left a long time. No, I lied before I did.

SPEAKER_01 4:38

I lied to you. It was perfect. The reason that I said that was because I was confused because JC and I were talking about how much worse it would have been if that happened when I landed. I said, Can you imagine if we were sitting here for two hours like we were in Fort Lauderdale the first time? And Matt and the kids are just out there waiting.

SPEAKER_00 4:54

I I can't imagine. Do you know what I mean? I thought the kids would go to sleep when I came out to pick you up. No. And when I stopped in the cell phone lot, our son was beside himself wanting to get mom.

SPEAKER_02 5:09

Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_00 5:10

Because he could see the airport. He's like, why? And I was in the cell phone lot maybe four minutes.

SPEAKER_02 5:15

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 5:16

I stopped long enough to like clear the seat out for you and text you to confirm that you were ready to be picked up. And you were.

SPEAKER_01 5:23

It ended up being perfect.

SPEAKER_00 5:25

Yeah, it was fine. But it was the timing was great. If I had to sit there for an hour just telling him, like, oh, mom's here, but not really. Yeah. Yeah. He would not have been having it.

SPEAKER_01 5:36

I'm glad they were excited to pick me up and they weren't just like, meh.

SPEAKER_00 5:39

No, they wanted their mom desperately. Anytime I said anything they didn't like, they're like, I'm his mom.

SPEAKER_01 5:45

I feel like that was one of the first times I was really gone in a long time.

SPEAKER_00 5:51

Yeah. There's been nights where you're out or whatever. Right.

SPEAKER_01 5:54

But but when they wake up, I'm there at some point.

Delays Before Or After Landing

SPEAKER_00 5:56

When the next day they wake up, or when they run in the middle of the night and you're not there.

SPEAKER_01 6:01

When I'm not in my bed.

SPEAKER_00 6:02

Yeah. Then they're like, okay, that's enough. Yeah, that's fair.

SPEAKER_01 6:07

That's fair.

SPEAKER_00 6:08

No, I just was curious. I I feel like I would feel the same way that I could see the airport, but I wanted an expert boots on the ground opinion.

SPEAKER_01 6:16

I think it's worse to sit on the tarmac before after it.

SPEAKER_00 6:20

Before and after. It's kind of the same thing.

SPEAKER_01 6:23

I think that it's better to do it before if you have to do it. Gotcha. No matter what, it stinks though.

SPEAKER_00 6:29

No, I mean I'm not advocating for having your flight delayed or being stuck on an airplane, but I just, you know, had to know.

SPEAKER_01 6:35

For sure. Uh, what do you have to say about the week?

SPEAKER_00 6:39

Um, well, I changed ADHD medications. So um I was on Concerta for a very long time, like multiple years, and I haven't been able to fill it for several weeks. Over a month. Months.

SPEAKER_01 6:53

We talked about it on the last episode.

SPEAKER_00 6:55

Exactly. That's what I was saying.

SPEAKER_01 6:56

And I just like to say, on record, in that episode, I say, and I feel stupid now because I say, You not being on your meds for two months makes me realize that your meds are really working. And not like that episode came out, and I listened back to it, and I was like, oh, how that ignorant girl is about to learn so much in just a few short days.

SPEAKER_00 7:24

Uh yeah. So I switched to Vivance and I I had a thought about it because I was like, oh, well, I feel like now that I haven't been on my medication for a couple months, I think Concerta, which is uh Ritalin, like an extended release, has had a little bit of like emotional flattening. I'm missing some high highs. I'm also not experiencing super low lows.

SPEAKER_01 7:49

I'll tell the story. We were watching the Olympics. It was a particularly heartwarming story. I looked over Matt with tears in my eyes. And what is Matt doing? He's weeping.

SPEAKER_00 8:00

At the kitchen island? Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 8:02

You were crying, and I was like, oh, and you said, I think that my meds may have been messing with my emotional range.

SPEAKER_00 8:12

Yes, yeah, yeah, yeah. There were a couple things like that where I was like, and I'm just an emotional, like, I'm a I'm not a sad story crier. I'm like a family story.

SPEAKER_01 8:22

Your heartwarming cryer.

Switching ADHD Meds Changes Everything

SPEAKER_00 8:23

Heartwarming crier. Yeah. Yeah. Anything that's like fathers and sons, mothers and daughters, fathers and daughters, any dynamic like that, siblings, siblings, like beautiful sibling stories. I'm I will cry. It just I uh something about that really gets me. So um and that is who I've been Matt's sensitive to the human experience. Yeah, just yeah. True. Yeah. I don't know if it just really strikes a chord or something, but I there were some experiences like that where I was like, oh, okay, I should look into some other options because that is a possible thing that can happen with this, and it has made me more productive, but it maybe I've got to do it.

SPEAKER_01 9:07

It had helped with your executive function, totally, and I think for that reason we thought that it was really working for you.

SPEAKER_00 9:14

I changed to Vivance and it has radically changed my life, which has been a very weird experience. Be medicated and still feel like I have my emotional range. So it's been a very good and very weird week. A few weeks, yeah. Um also strange to kind of trust that. It's been you're like, is this a this is a temporary thing? Is this a side effect that's gonna wear off? But um no, it's been good. It's had I've had like a lot more motivation and productivity and maintained more of what I felt like was me. And it's been years, honestly, since uh I've felt the way I feel now. And there's there's a lot of mixed feelings about it. There's some where it's like, man, I've really missed out on some things, and it's really weird to feel this way now and understand that it things could have looked differently. And I made the best decision I could at the time, and I felt like things were good. I just didn't have a lot of A to B comparison, and especially because I was like not feeling great when I started medication, and I was like, okay, now I'm productive, that feels good. But then just over time you realize, oh, okay, as things have improved, I don't feel the same positive upside that I probably should have or would have in my unbridled emotional range.

SPEAKER_01 10:47

I think it's interesting because you for the first time said you understand when other people go on meds and they talk about how it completely changed their lives.

SPEAKER_03 10:58

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 10:59

And I feel like you hadn't necessarily spoken to that or had that experience. Like it had changed things about your life, but it didn't radicalize your overall relationship with everything.

SPEAKER_00 11:11

Yeah, I I remember the impact of when I first started taking them, and I was like, wow, this would have changed my productivity. I didn't have the emotional understanding, and I didn't, I wasn't that was before I'd spent really much time in therapy, and so there was a lot of things that I probably wasn't that I was limited by there. And that's part of what made it really hard to tell the difference. Is like again, I was starting something from a point of I wasn't at my high and started taking things and got to see a low. I was like, I started low but stayed low, and so there was no A to B like, oh, we've seen a change. It was just like, is this who I am now? And to change medications and be like, wow, I remember these feelings. I didn't know they were still in there was really it's been a complicated experience this week.

SPEAKER_01 11:59

So we'll give it a few months and then maybe we can talk about it because I feel like maybe you need to get a little more removed from it before you're ready to give any kind of big feedback.

SPEAKER_00 12:10

Yeah, so we'll see how recording a podcast goes. This will be the first.

SPEAKER_01 12:13

Can you tell a difference? Is he different?

SPEAKER_00 12:16

No, I don't know. I feel like I was pretty light on the podcast, regardless. I got to that was a good outlet for me. I agree. We'll see. We'll see. It's made a big difference, though, just in how I talk to people in my life and what my threshold is for input in a lot of things.

SPEAKER_02 12:35

Yeah, that I think that's the biggest shift.

SPEAKER_00 12:37

Well, I'm sure it's the biggest shift for you, is because you're one of the biggest sources of not bad or good, like just input. Anything I had a really hard time uh interpreting well, and I don't have that same hang up anymore. And it again, because ADHD medication is like a lot of the anyway, a stimulants. I should be specific. Stimulants specifically don't have to build up in your system. It's really weird to take a medication that changes all of that the day you take it instead of looking normally if you you're taking an antidepressant a lot.

SPEAKER_01 13:10

Or an SSRI.

SPEAKER_00 13:11

Yeah, just there's a lot of things that it takes weeks to build up and for it to be like, well, an hour and a half later, I feel like a different person or the same person four years ago. Still weird, still feels weird. We'll record through it. Oh, what are you drinking? A diet Dr. Pepper. Diet Dr. Pepper. I finished it though. Okay, that's fair. I had uh I'm drinking water. I also have an Alani, but I don't have to get it.

SPEAKER_01 13:39

I need to be drinking water, guys. This is a real problem. I cannot stop yawning. Yeah, and I feel like for the most part, I have not been as tired, but holy moly, and I got a good night's sleep, but I was gonna say we we did it all right last night. It wasn't doing I got seven to eight hours, and it was a seven to eight hours mostly straight through. Yeah, I had a little child climb into the bed in the night, but not talk to me.

SPEAKER_00 14:06

Only one of them.

SPEAKER_01 14:06

Yeah, only one.

SPEAKER_00 14:07

That too.

SPEAKER_01 14:08

Man, I just all day have felt like my lids are closing. What?

SPEAKER_00 14:14

Yeah, that's uh that's tough.

SPEAKER_01 14:17

I don't know. But that doesn't happen to you.

SPEAKER_00 14:20

Feel like my eyes are closing. Yeah. Well, let me tell you, when I used to take my old medication, no, this new stimulant's very different. That's the other part, too, is before it would really like ramp up. Now it's a very gradual, anyway, I can't get off of it. It's just all I can think about. It's made my life very weird, but good, like really good, very productive. Like I it's weird to have that same productivity and feel it's dropped a lot of guilt about stuff that I've put off. It's made things feel a lot more accessible, which is really good, really good and nice and life changing, complicated. Yes.

SPEAKER_01 14:55

Speaking of life's changing.

SPEAKER_00 14:56

Life's changing.

Emotional Range, Productivity, And Identity

SPEAKER_01 14:57

Yeah. Chronically online this week. Uh there was this video of a girl that said she unfollows influencers and creators when they, or even people she knows, I think. When they get engaged, married, or maybe not people she knows, like people she's close friends with, but you know, but people she overlaps with when they get engaged, married, or have kids because they become boring or all about topics she doesn't care about. And it's gone very viral and it is very polarizing. People are either like, hell yeah, I feel the exact same way. I hate when people just become all about getting married or being a bride or uh kids or pregnant. Yeah. And then other people are like, This is crazy. I have thoughts, but I want to know yours first.

SPEAKER_00 15:49

Okay. Well, I think it's one thing if it's influencers or online personalities.

SPEAKER_01 15:54

I think let's stick to that.

SPEAKER_00 15:56

Because if you're unfollowing people in your regular life, and I don't even think they have to be that close. If it's people from high school, why are you? I don't keep up with people from high school, but if I did, or if I was still checking, keeping tabs, I wouldn't unfollow them because of major life changes that they have. Like, isn't that what you're there for?

SPEAKER_02 16:16

Totally.

SPEAKER_00 16:16

Like, I'm pretty sure that's why people are on social media is to keep up with what people are doing in their real lives.

SPEAKER_01 16:22

Right.

SPEAKER_00 16:23

Um, influencers specifically, or online personalities, I guess, to be broader. I I get it because there is a real habit. I I just think also, couldn't you just wait and see if you still like what they're bringing to the table? I don't know if you have to just like drop the hammer, but I don't you can. It doesn't bother me.

SPEAKER_01 16:46

So that's an important point to me.

SPEAKER_00 16:48

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 16:49

One, I think it's really weird to get online and to publicly make a video about this.

SPEAKER_00 16:55

Fair.

SPEAKER_01 16:55

I think it's totally fine to unfollow people if you feel like their content no longer serves you. I'm all about that. Hell yeah. Make your feed somewhere that you feel good, surround yourself with content that uplifts you and fills you up. If it doesn't do that, get rid of it. I'm all about that. But to make it this all-encompassing thing of one, very women-focused things like being a bride, uh, becoming a mom, etc.

SPEAKER_00 17:26

Sure.

SPEAKER_01 17:27

I feel like there is something inherently really sexist about it.

SPEAKER_03 17:33

Is how I'll start.

SPEAKER_01 17:35

And second, I feel like it's also really strange to get online and try to start a dialogue about this when you can just silently unfollow people and it's no big deal.

SPEAKER_00 17:46

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 17:46

Like you don't have to announce your departure.

SPEAKER_00 17:49

Totally. Two, I don't know, maybe you do.

SPEAKER_01 17:52

Maybe. The second thing that I'm gonna say about it is I feel like you follow creators online because you like them. And then when they're going through whatever they do in their lives, you like following them through it because you like them. It doesn't have to do with for me anyway, yeah, specifics. Like, I follow all kinds of creators that are single, don't have kids, aren't married, and are traveling. I follow people who do have kids and are stay-at-home moms. Like, I follow a wide range of lifestyles, life phases, etc. And that's what I love about it because it gives me a glimpse into so many people that are different than me.

SPEAKER_00 18:37

Yeah. That's totally I get if you follow them for like a niche that they no longer do, but I just the it's the A, it's unfollowing them for any major life change. Like some of those are temporary. Like if they're getting married, that doesn't usually continue as like a main staple of someone's content.

SPEAKER_01 19:02

Also, why is it like why is it uncool for a bride to talk about being a bride and be excited about being a bride? You only get to do that once, it's a huge life event. Hell yeah. Make as many videos about it as you want, get as excited about it as you want. I I just can't relate to feeling that way. I can't.

SPEAKER_00 19:26

Yeah, yeah. I definitely don't want it to be a deterrent to people that are excited about those things and make pieces of content around those things.

SPEAKER_01 19:33

It puts a damper on everything, like people are supposed to keep this cool, you know, laid back, non-faceted. I like my influencers cool attitude toward everything. And I think that that's where we've lost the plot. We are so busy thinking about me included, and I'm coming somewhere with this. Like I feel like I'm finally letting this go a little bit, but we get so concerned about how people perceive us and about how the world is taking us in that we stop doing the things we want to do and enjoying our lives. I think a big part of it is videos like this, where people are getting on and saying, Well, when people do this, it means that.

SPEAKER_00 20:20

Oh, okay. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 20:21

And I don't like it.

unknown 20:22

That's fair.

SPEAKER_01 20:24

Makes me angry. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 20:27

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 20:28

I'm cool. It's a no-cool person now.

SPEAKER_00 20:34

Let's not get carried away. I don't think your brand has ever been cool.

SPEAKER_01 20:38

Yeah, you're not wrong.

SPEAKER_00 20:39

But I mean, still valid. Yeah, that's not uh just be nice. Give people a chance. It's um it's also a little bit weird to just be like, I don't want to understand anyone else's experience.

SPEAKER_01 20:57

Well, I see it all the time. Sure. When creators announce a pregnancy, the comments will be like, their first one, they'll be like, oh man, I really liked you. And no. And I'm like, can you imagine announcing the biggest, most exciting news that you have? And people being like, Ugh.

SPEAKER_00 21:15

I think that happens in real life sometimes.

SPEAKER_01 21:18

Really?

SPEAKER_00 21:19

I think there's people that are like, oh, they're having a kid now, so like they're dead in terms of I don't think you've gotten questions about it where they're like, How do I like I want to maintain some semblance of but I I understand, but you think that people when they're like we're pregnant, that they actually go, Ugh, oh commonly like I'm not talking about people silently having that reaction.

SPEAKER_01 21:42

Like you can see one of your favorite creators announces they're pregnant and you can have that feeling of like, oh man, I hope their content doesn't shift. That's not weird. Okay, I'm gonna do it. What's weird is to get into their comment section and go, Oh man, I always really liked you, and now I'm gonna have to unfollow because you're gonna have a kid.

Chronically Online: Unfollowing For Life Changes

SPEAKER_00 21:57

I'll be honest, I've almost never understood. Going to the comments to say anything negative just because I'm like, I don't know that it's really that important that I'm shooting.

SPEAKER_02 22:06

Weird behavior.

SPEAKER_00 22:07

Yeah. I just I've never, I guess I've never held my own opinion so high that I'm like, this needs to be out there. It's truly said. Truly. I can just go, huh, not for me. I didn't like that very much, and then make a decision based on that.

SPEAKER_01 22:22

Right.

SPEAKER_00 22:22

Or not. Just move on with my life.

SPEAKER_01 22:24

There's only one time you've ever left a negative comment, and I remember it. And it's when they stole a video clip of you and used it in an anti-abortion campaign.

SPEAKER_00 22:37

Yeah, that happened. Forgot about that. I was like, what are you talking about?

SPEAKER_01 22:41

Yeah, you were like, what's she gonna say?

SPEAKER_00 22:43

Uh-huh. I was like, who that is.

SPEAKER_01 22:45

You left a comment then.

SPEAKER_00 22:46

Yes, yeah, yeah, yeah. They did use But I guess they were specifically using your intellectual property and likeness in order to Yeah, they used video of me like admiring our kid when they were born. And I was like, what? Okay. I'm definitely not anti-abortion. This is crazy.

SPEAKER_01 23:13

Yeah. I was like You left a very well-written, very strong-worded very long comment. Very long comment. Anyway, I just thought about that. No, that's totally, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 23:23

That was it. Now I'm now I'm ruminating on that. That going down that rabbit hole. Yeah. That was crazy. It was. It was over a year ago. Yeah. Somebody messaged us and was like, hey, do you know? Do you know you're promoting anti-abortion content? And it was like, nope. Did not know that. Had no clue. It was cool.

SPEAKER_02 23:45

That was really actually crazy.

SPEAKER_00 23:47

That has not happened often.

SPEAKER_02 23:50

No.

SPEAKER_00 23:51

What what a time for it to happen.

SPEAKER_01 23:53

What a time.

SPEAKER_00 23:54

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 23:55

Well.

SPEAKER_00 23:56

Anyway, the big thing I want to talk about this week. Is it ever okay to lie?

SPEAKER_01 24:01

Wow. What a presentation. Tell me more.

SPEAKER_00 24:06

Is it ever okay to lie?

SPEAKER_01 24:08

Okay. Like in what context and what's a lie?

SPEAKER_00 24:13

Oh, what context and what's a lie? Um, should we set a threshold of like what's a big lie, what's a small lie? I feel like the question is, is it ever okay to lie? Then we have to debate.

SPEAKER_01 24:25

I I don't have to debate. I personally think no, you should never lie, but I don't think that withholding information. Oh, that's where it starts to get a little dicey.

SPEAKER_00 24:40

Okay. Okay.

SPEAKER_01 24:41

Do you know what I mean? Because I don't think you should be required to disclose things if you don't want to, pending context, sure, etc.

SPEAKER_00 24:51

Even if a question's specific.

SPEAKER_01 24:54

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 24:55

Got it.

SPEAKER_01 24:56

Like I think you should be able to say pass.

SPEAKER_00 24:57

You just dance around it. Or you're going like a hard pass.

SPEAKER_01 25:01

Well, they can't.

SPEAKER_00 25:02

I bleed the fifth.

SPEAKER_02 25:04

People are like, do you think I'm ugly? Yes or no? And I'm like, I'd rather not answer that question.

SPEAKER_00 25:10

I don't think you really need my No, what I'm thinking about.

SPEAKER_01 25:16

Oh, I don't know. I guess there are like a few contexts that I feel like lying is okay, like a surprise party or Oh, I don't think that counts. You know, like that's well, that's what I'm thinking of. I'm trying to think about any circumstance I would tell a lie.

SPEAKER_00 25:32

Hmm. Fair. Yeah, I um I definitely can't say it's never okay to to lie.

SPEAKER_01 25:40

I'm a liar.

SPEAKER_00 25:42

I don't I don't know if I like to label myself that way. Uh I just have a hard, complicated relationship with the truth if I feel like I'm gonna be in trouble. And uh I think that has followed me since childhood. I just I've got a creative truth-telling streak in me, and I use it to smooth the waters of just life. Because extremely conflict averse. And your wife really calls you out. She really does. She does a lot. She's gotten better at identifying when it's happening. And so Oh, I'm really good.

SPEAKER_01 26:22

I don't always call you out on it because sometimes I'm like, well, whatever.

SPEAKER_00 26:26

Yeah, sometimes you're like, I know it's not true, and I'm just gonna let it go because I understand why he's doing it.

SPEAKER_01 26:32

I've never seen you lie about something important.

SPEAKER_00 26:35

No, no, I don't lie about important things, I lie about tiny things.

SPEAKER_01 26:40

Yeah. Did you do this? It's it's literally like having a teenage boy. I will say, I don't feel like for the most part in our marriage, I feel the thing that people talk about where you're like mothering your husband because they're incompetent. But it is in that part of you where I'll be like, hey, did you do this? And I it doesn't matter. I'm just asking so I know.

SPEAKER_00 27:03

And Matt will be like, Yes, that's not a good example, but no, no, no, but it's it's the yeah, it's a generality that expresses the the gist of it. Yeah, no, um, I don't love it about myself.

SPEAKER_03 27:19

Are you working on that?

SPEAKER_00 27:20

Yeah, I I have tried to work on just honestly, I I feel like that will change a lot with my medication.

SPEAKER_02 27:28

Yeah, it's the guilt for you.

SPEAKER_00 27:30

Yeah, there is so much just wrapped up in guilt and feeling like there is a baggage that I have to try and get ahead of and that I can never make mistakes. And that's something really odd that's changed with this medication change, is more of a willingness, uh including being able to take more feedback. There's been a lot more of I can make mistakes and I can fix the mistakes I've made, and they aren't a permanent part of my identity. And for a very long time that's been a core belief somewhere deep inside of like any mistake I made is gonna travel with me. And it's it doesn't just go away, or I can't just fix it. That's set in time. And while that's literally true, like you can't change the past, it's also very self-defeating in terms of the future, changing things, or and we've we've had this talk too. The difference between accountability and taking blame. I've been very you're always I'm more than willing to take blame. Yep. I'm like, yep, that's my fault. I screwed up, you can blame me. Sorry. Go ahead, blame me for it. At at times when it's not even my fault, just to make things go smoother, just to end a conversation.

SPEAKER_02 28:50

Totally.

SPEAKER_00 28:51

Um but then the difference between that and taking accountability is making a plan going forward, committing to change, in some capacity going beyond taking blame and making sure that there's some reparation there. Reparation? Repair?

SPEAKER_01 29:11

Repair.

SPEAKER_00 29:12

Yeah. You're making a positive impact going forward. And uh oddly enough, that has been a change that is welcome and sudden.

SPEAKER_01 29:23

So Yeah. Uh tell me, what do you think? Is lying ever okay? Or is it ever okay to tell a lie?

SPEAKER_00 29:30

I don't remember how you asked it. Yeah, I I it's hard for me to say no because of my conflict of personess. I'm like, if it's a medium to small size lie, and see, I just think that it's not I'm not a liar.

SPEAKER_01 29:48

No, I'm not good at telling lies. Like, that's the root of mine is I am not good at it.

SPEAKER_00 29:54

It's you are pretty, pretty terrible at it.

SPEAKER_01 29:57

Well, it makes it makes me really uncomfortable. I can do it, and I have done it, and you guys are always mostly around surprises and things like that.

SPEAKER_00 30:05

Like it's not see the the thing is you now have such a track record of not lying that nobody's really even looking for it. You built yourself such a shield of honesty that in the odd chance you try to lie, it really takes very little for people to be like, Well, Joe said it, it's probably true.

SPEAKER_01 30:26

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 30:26

So it is you you've really just built yourself this resume of nothing.

SPEAKER_01 30:31

Well, and when I'm saying something I'm not confident about, like if I'm regurgitating information or I'm making a discussion, I'm the first to be like, This is not a fact, this is how I remember the fact. So we need to actually look up and you know.

SPEAKER_00 30:47

Yeah, you're you also just can't track a lie. No, not at all.

SPEAKER_01 30:50

Yeah, you don't maintain enough of like what have I said in a conversation to track any kind of lie with I will put my foot in my mouth and expose myself immediately. Yeah, immediately.

SPEAKER_00 31:06

Yeah, you forget what you've said that's the truth.

SPEAKER_01 31:08

A hundred percent. And so telling a lie is really So it's just best for me to be honest all the time.

SPEAKER_00 31:13

Yeah, because then I can't like if you're telling yourself it's still the truth, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 31:19

Right, exactly.

Negativity In Comments And Boundaries

SPEAKER_00 31:19

Yeah, that's a good practice. I really I mean, I don't think you should be telling lies just based on my experience with you. No, but um I also feel disingenuous saying you shouldn't lie. Well, you can say, yeah, even if you shouldn't lie as best practice, I just um don't practice whatever.

SPEAKER_01 31:42

I think in the cases of surprises I can get behind some not truth.

SPEAKER_00 31:50

I do think your angle of omission, though.

SPEAKER_01 31:54

Like that that's probably the limit of Yeah, I think there are places where you don't have to I don't think you have to fully disclose everything to be honest. For example, if a friend is asking me, how is this top? I'm not really sure if this top is good or not. I can go, mm, yeah, I don't like it either. I don't have to go, mm, yeah, I don't like it either. It makes you look X, Y, and Z. Do you know what I mean?

SPEAKER_00 32:25

Fair, yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 32:26

And it's not that I'm being dishonest, it's just not.

SPEAKER_00 32:30

Yeah, you're well, that's that's more of a like giving a complete picture. Yeah, yeah, there's definitely That's what I mean. I feel like you shouldn't tell any lies that you won't be able to like work out later. Like if somebody if it becomes exposed, are you gonna be okay like explaining why you lied? You know? Okay. I don't know if that made any sense, but I feel like if you tell her. If you go under oath, like how are you gonna feel having to be honest? And I think that should be your metric.

SPEAKER_02 33:23

Crazy. That is unhinged out of the way.

SPEAKER_00 33:26

If you're like I think this is gonna really be bad if I go on the stand, that's that's probably too far. If you go, you're like, yeah, I lied about this and I'm not proud of it, but I feel like you fib. Yeah. But there is like a line there where that's not totally true. But I I am probably a rampant fibber.

SPEAKER_01 33:47

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 33:48

I probably I wouldn't have to be able to do that. I feel complicated being labeled as a liar because that is a crazy. I like the word publishing this. This is nice. This will be online. And it's like I'm a liar. You're the one that's Yeah, I really I screwed up here. This was a bold choice for somebody that fibs a lot. I don't know.

SPEAKER_01 34:11

You know, they say that what you tell yourselves about other people, it's just another form of you being an asshole to yourself.

SPEAKER_00 34:21

Have you ever heard people talk about that? No, what?

SPEAKER_01 34:25

So, like when you meet somebody new and you're like, I don't know if they liked me or not, I felt like they were thinking X, Y, Z. You have no idea what they were thinking, you have no idea what they were doing.

SPEAKER_00 34:35

But that's more commonly a projection.

SPEAKER_01 34:37

It's not even about it being a project. I mean, yes. Okay, but it's about you're the one assigning them that internal model. Like you could also say, like, think about me in high school.

SPEAKER_02 34:46

I'm like, they really like me.

SPEAKER_01 34:49

We are friends, I'm having so much fun, they really like me. And guess what? It felt great because I thought I was so wonderful that there was no way anybody disliked me. And did that impact me negatively?

SPEAKER_00 35:02

No, no, not at all.

SPEAKER_01 35:03

I was great because the voice that I gave everybody else was that they thought I was as great as I thought I was great.

SPEAKER_00 35:10

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 35:10

And I thought they were great, and we were all having a fun time.

SPEAKER_00 35:14

Yeah. And so you were friends with everybody in your own mind.

SPEAKER_01 35:17

Right, exactly.

SPEAKER_00 35:19

It worked for you.

SPEAKER_01 35:20

It was it was great. And so when you start assigning people things of like, I think this, they're thinking this or that, that's really just another outlet for you to be a jerk to yourself, and then assign it to other people.

Is It Ever Okay To Lie?

SPEAKER_00 35:35

Got it. Okay. I was imagining, are you being a jerk to them?

SPEAKER_01 35:40

No, got it, they don't even know about it.

SPEAKER_00 35:42

Yeah, that's true. That's true. Yeah, I don't think I think that deeply.

SPEAKER_01 35:48

No.

SPEAKER_00 35:48

I I worry about like what I did. I very rarely I'm like, I don't know what they thought.

SPEAKER_01 35:55

You don't think about other people really at all.

SPEAKER_00 35:58

Yep, yep, you did just punctuate it.

SPEAKER_01 36:02

But not in a not caring way.

SPEAKER_00 36:06

I like this episode. This episode's nice. Uh, I'm a liar and I don't think about other people. Basically, just like a sociopath, but like in a fun, in a fun way. Like a nice one. A one that cries at every family family moment he's moved by family moments, but also doesn't think about other people and or tell the truth.

SPEAKER_01 36:28

But I think I think the not thinking about other people is more of a uh object permanence thing than it is a do you know what I mean? It's not uh once the people are in front of you, you're like, yeah, great, thinking about them.

SPEAKER_00 36:42

Engaged. Yeah, yeah, I do uh object permanence, not good. There's a reason that people wired like me have to have all their stuff out where they can see it.

SPEAKER_01 36:57

Right.

SPEAKER_00 36:58

Otherwise, I would be a great candidate for a glass fridge, other than it would be terrible to look at.

SPEAKER_03 37:06

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_00 37:07

If only I could see through the fridge door, that would be perfect. That's some kind of superpower and not really a real thing. So I put the fridge door on. I put the fridge panel on.

SPEAKER_02 37:17

Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_00 37:18

That happened. Speaking of refrigerators, this is not a planned part of the podcast, I'll tell you that right now. But uh, I put the refrigerator panel on our fridge. It's only been four years. Feel pretty good about that.

SPEAKER_01 37:28

It's not been four years yet, if that makes me feel better.

SPEAKER_00 37:31

Three and three quarters, yeah. Something like that. Um yeah, it's been requested for years and years. You're like, man, I really wish that fridge panel was on there. And it happened finally.

SPEAKER_01 37:42

Yeah, and it looks so good.

SPEAKER_00 37:44

Shout out to Vibe Ants.

SPEAKER_01 37:46

So that's this whole podcast. It really is.

SPEAKER_00 37:50

That might be the name of the podcast, is shout out to Vibe Ants. Um it's kind of my whole identity right now. Tell me a word of the week. Word of the week. You're gonna like this one. Telling you.

SPEAKER_01 38:01

I'm excited.

SPEAKER_00 38:03

Muzz M-U-Z-Z.

SPEAKER_01 38:07

Okay. Like buzz, but muzz.

SPEAKER_00 38:11

Nailed in.

SPEAKER_01 38:12

Is it close to mutt?

SPEAKER_00 38:15

Like in meaning?

SPEAKER_01 38:16

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 38:16

No, I mean spelling, it's only one letter away. Two letters, but it's the same.

SPEAKER_01 38:21

Okay, tell me.

SPEAKER_00 38:22

Muzz to confuse someone.

SPEAKER_01 38:25

Ooh.

SPEAKER_00 38:26

Or bewilder them. Apparently, it's an old word.

SPEAKER_01 38:29

I really muzzed him.

SPEAKER_00 38:30

Yeah. Told you you're gonna like it. I feel like we could bring it back. Let's do it. Like this could work now.

SPEAKER_01 38:40

They were really muzzing one another.

SPEAKER_00 38:42

Totally muzzed me. It's good. It's good. I like it a lot.

SPEAKER_01 38:48

Well, I think it's funny because people are using mugging right now a lot. Or is mogging. Mogging.

SPEAKER_00 38:52

Mogging. Mogging.

unknown 38:54

Mogging.

SPEAKER_01 38:54

She's cool, guys. She's really cool. Mogging right now. And I feel like this is kind of similar.

SPEAKER_00 39:00

Completely muzzed. They were mogging on me.

SPEAKER_01 39:03

Yeah, not that it's similar in meaning. Just like, I don't feel like both can be popular. I think people are gonna get mog and muzz confused.

SPEAKER_00 39:12

That might just be you. Okay. Yeah. One has Z in it for sure, but muzzed, yeah, muzzed by the Mogging. Yeah. It's good. Again, I saw that one and I was like, this is perfect. This is perfect. Muzzed. What does it mean again? To bewilder, like to confuse.

SPEAKER_01 39:28

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 39:29

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 39:29

I'm so muzzed.

SPEAKER_00 39:30

Yeah, you look muzzed right now. Yeah, okay. We're using muzzed more than muzz, which I don't know if that makes sense or not, but I like it. Before we get too muzzed, should we get into emails, voicemails, whatever we got?

SPEAKER_02 39:46

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 39:46

Hear from the listeners so they can hear us stop talking.

SPEAKER_02 39:49

Yes, exactly.

SPEAKER_00 39:50

Uh I think we've about run out of words to say. Okay. Let's start off with an email. Hey, Joe and Matt. This is more of a question for Joe, but I would love Matt's input if he has any. I was diagnosed with MS when I was 16, and I had a baby in October. Being a mom has made me realize just how much one flare-up could change my life. Joe, as a child of a parent with MS, do you have advice from a child's perspective of what I can be doing to keep my son from anxiety about what could happen and also valuing the things his body can do? I've loved seeing your relationship with your mom and hearing your perspective on your childhood with your mom. I also would love to hear anything you have to say about anything else related. I've loved listening to the podcast and hearing two married people giggle over the last three years. Love the pod.

SPEAKER_01 40:35

Thank you. This is such a hard topic for me because my childhood's pretty fuzzy. And what I will say is I don't remember ever stressing about my mom's health ever until adulthood.

SPEAKER_03 40:51

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 40:51

Like it just was. And I think children are kind of resilient that way of you just know what you know, and it is what it is, if that makes sense.

SPEAKER_00 41:02

Yeah, you your diagnosis is with them their entire existence. Right. They didn't know something different. And so that's normal for them for their parent.

SPEAKER_01 41:10

And my parents never really spoke to me about what the long-term impacts of MS could be. And I don't know that my mom was that uh clued in or focused on what the long-term impacts of MS could be. My mom's always been a in the moment, really focused on being grateful for what is and taking care of yourself at the capacity that you can person. And I mean, she had flare-ups and things that happened when I was really little. She always tells the story of being at Target when I was a little little girl, like I think three or four. And she fell down at the Target and couldn't get back up. And she said, Sorry, baby, like it's gonna take a few minutes. I need to sit here and rest before I'm gonna be able to get up. And I said, Oh, that's okay. I'll sit right next to you. And I sat down next to her and waited it out with her. And uh, she tells a lot of stories like that of it, just was my normal.

SPEAKER_03 42:10

Yeah.

Accountability vs Blame

SPEAKER_01 42:11

And I think a big part of that was my mom's ability to see me outside of what she was experiencing. Nothing about my life ever got compared to her. I always think of college. I had a really bad flare-up. I have sciatic nerve pain, and I had a really bad flare-up with it my sophomore year of college, and I could barely get out of bed. Like I was having problems getting from my bed to my bathroom, and there was a big party that I got invited to that I wanted to go to, and I was not even walking normally, so it just couldn't happen. And I remember calling my mom in tears and being like, I I hurt, I can't go to this party. And my mom, so serious, like she did not mean anything by this, genuinely with her whole chest says to me, I can't imagine what it must feel like to be in pain and not feel like you can walk, and so you can't go to this thing that you want to, and like not being able to get out of the house, I I can't imagine what that feels like. And it hit me like a brick because what do you mean you can't imagine what that feels like? Your body is not working, you don't have to imagine it, you don't have to imagine it. Yeah, that that's your reality, and she's like, oh no, this is so different. You're hearing me wrong. You're what you're experiencing is so different from what I'm experiencing because X, Y, Z. And my mom just always was able to hold those things so separately and never leverage her experience. Illness as something to like teach a lesson or to give perspective.

SPEAKER_00 44:06

It was never compared.

SPEAKER_01 44:08

Right. And I think that is what ended up giving me so much perspective because it was so beautiful to just see it and not feel belittled or compared to it.

SPEAKER_00 44:21

I think also some of what's wrapped into that is it wasn't her identity.

SPEAKER_03 44:26

Correct.

SPEAKER_00 44:26

And so you didn't make it part of her identity.

SPEAKER_03 44:29

Right.

SPEAKER_00 44:29

Like it's so much of it depends on how much of it becomes your identity. And while it does absolutely affect your life and your path through life and how you experience things, the important part is making sure that you value your own identity outside of that.

SPEAKER_01 44:51

That's a really good way to put it. I think the hardest part for me in my mom's health has been adulthood. I really do. I think adulthood has been harder than anything else because I am an only child and it feels very stressful wanting to raise my own kids, but also wanting to be helpful to my parents while also wanting to be my own independent person. That has been really, really tough.

SPEAKER_00 45:26

That's well, that that's just that's realistically like too many people to care for. Like you can't manage two lives at one time. Right. And so you I mean you have to make the choice am I gonna manage my own life and the life with my kids, or am I gonna yeah, it's just hard.

SPEAKER_01 45:49

But that that's my difficult part. But so I guess I would just take it back to I would say the best thing you can do is not make your diagnosis the core of your identity and show your son resilience and comfort in a body that maybe isn't always doing what you want it to do for you. Be really open and honest about the difficulties as well.

SPEAKER_00 46:18

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 46:18

I think that's what I would say.

SPEAKER_00 46:19

Totally, yeah. That I I was thinking that too is just you don't have to deny your experience. Absolutely not. To also keep your identity outside of that. And so I think it's given you really um a really cool perspective, and it's helped me a lot just thinking about appreciating your body. And because you have an everyday example of like how that it's taken for granted constantly, and by most people, it it's really hard, I think, if you don't have that lived experience to really understand it fully. Okay, we'll pivot from there to a lighter one. Okay, let's do it. One more email. Joe, your plants are always so happy and pretty. I love houseplants and have several pots, but only a few different kinds. I've mostly propagated from my pothos and another kind I was gifted. Do you use houseplant fertilizer? How do you recommend going about choosing new plants for your collection?

SPEAKER_01 47:23

Ooh, I love houseplants. They make me so happy. Anybody listening that doesn't own a single houseplant, you should buy one and just learn about it. I think it's so good. I think it's just one of those things that's good for people to have living things in the house. I use happy, happy houseplant plant fertilizer, and I use it year-round. You just put drops into the water that you're using to water the plants, and then you water them as normal. It is phenomenal. It works very, very well. I love all of their products. I've used happy, happy houseplant products for I don't know, six years. I have no idea. I got my first houseplant in New Year's 2017, is when I got that aloe.

SPEAKER_00 48:06

I was gonna say, I'm not sure.

SPEAKER_01 48:07

I think you've used it for as long as yeah, I've probably used it for six or seven years now.

SPEAKER_00 48:12

Okay, as long as I can remember, but that's not a great judge.

SPEAKER_01 48:15

Their products are great. I have not added to my collection much in quite some time.

SPEAKER_00 48:19

Well, you've added three kids.

SPEAKER_01 48:21

Yeah, I haven't added to my houseplant collection. Oh, I know.

SPEAKER_00 48:24

I'm just saying that does, I think, limit your capacity for how many house plants.

SPEAKER_01 48:29

Right. And so right now, when I'm looking to possibly add something, I'm looking for things that are very hearty and very generous in their acceptance of neglect. So a Z Z plant, pothos, uh or pothos. I don't know how you say that correctly, if I'm being totally honest. A philodendron. Uh, I love a uh uh wise like a Chinese money plant, which is a peperomia. I I don't know why that wasn't coming to me, but uh frosted peperomia or different varieties of peperomia, that's what we have in the kitchen. Yes, the little one with the frosted, that's a peperomia.

SPEAKER_00 49:13

I think so.

SPEAKER_01 49:13

No, it is, I'm telling you, so you know which one it is in the house. I I know that it is totally, yeah.

Word Of The Week: Muzz

SPEAKER_00 49:18

You're if you're curious, I have no clue what's happening with the pepper.

SPEAKER_01 49:22

You saved the aloe. Matt said my very so my very first plant in 2017, New Year's Day. I went to the city. Your first one? Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 49:29

Oh, it was just a big aloe that I thought was sad to die.

SPEAKER_01 49:32

So that was the first plant I ever got.

SPEAKER_00 49:34

Oh.

SPEAKER_01 49:35

I thought you knew that, and that's why you saved it.

SPEAKER_00 49:38

No, that was that's um, I was on concerted at the time. I was I didn't care about anything. I was dead inside. I just thought it was a waste of an aloe.

SPEAKER_02 49:50

Definitely not. You saved the aloe plant three and a half years ago.

SPEAKER_00 49:54

It was a big aloe that I was like, well, it's really sad to let it go. And it died because we it just wasn't in a good place. What if we just put it in a better place?

SPEAKER_01 50:02

Well, what happened was I got that aloe plant New Year's Day, January 2017.

SPEAKER_00 50:08

Got it.

SPEAKER_01 50:09

Because it was my New Year's resolution that I was gonna keep a plant alive for an entire year. And everybody told me that succulents and like aloe and some of these were easy, which is bullshit. Don't let anybody tell you that. And so I was like, I'll get this aloe plant. And not, I mean, it does fine if it's in good light and whatever, but long story short, my aloe plant has continued to live on, and it has lots of baby aloe plants. It's that are all big, like it's a big aloe plant now.

SPEAKER_00 50:39

Does that happen because they're stressed? Because it didn't do that until it almost died.

SPEAKER_01 50:44

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 50:44

And then when I brought it back, I was like, there's a bunch aloe plants. I took the approach that I have taken to a lot of things in the last several years of it's already broken. I can't break it more. Or if I do break it more, it's definitely broken.

SPEAKER_02 51:00

Right.

SPEAKER_00 51:00

That's when it comes to repairing things, that's a staple belief of mine. If it's broken, can you break it more? And will that make a difference? If you were gonna get rid of it anyway, why not tear it apart?

SPEAKER_01 51:13

Why not try?

SPEAKER_00 51:14

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 51:15

And you've succeeded at a lot of things that way.

SPEAKER_00 51:17

I have fixed a lot of things that way, and I have broken a couple things, and guess what? There was no debating whether it needed to be thrown out after I broke them further. It was like, well, it is effed now.

SPEAKER_01 51:28

I think my recommendation adding to collections is satin and silver pothos. Those are my favorite plants that I own. They're easy, they tell you when they're stressed really well, they put out new growth really regularly in spring through fall months, and that's very exciting. They're easy to propagate, people like them, so you can give plants away really easily.

SPEAKER_00 51:51

They grow pretty quick, right?

SPEAKER_01 51:53

Yeah, fairly. And which is exciting because you get to see the new leaves, and it's I don't know. I those are probably my favorite. High ROI. High ROI, I agree. And I have I've started a lot of additional plants from starts from it in our house.

SPEAKER_00 52:09

Yeah. So a lot of people have started plants from that plant.

SPEAKER_01 52:13

Yeah. I give away a lot of propagated plants, like in my dad has a bunch, your mom has a bunch in her house that are from my plants. Yep. Lots of friends do. Anyway, happy, happy house plant. And I don't know how I go about picking, usually things that are low maintenance and gonna work for a little neglect.

SPEAKER_00 52:36

One's killed a bunch of succulents.

SPEAKER_01 52:38

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 52:39

That was when we first moved in together.

SPEAKER_01 52:41

Yeah, fall of 2017. I had a run of weddings that I was traveling for, and I was gone for I think 10 days.

SPEAKER_00 52:49

That's how you know the aloe was sturdy though, because it made it through that.

SPEAKER_01 52:52

Yeah, it did. But none of the other ones did. No. I was gone for 10 days. I got home.

SPEAKER_00 52:57

We'd gone to a wedding, and people had succulents at the wedding as like, you know, take it home. Yeah. And you took you took a bunch home. Because they had a bunch of extras.

SPEAKER_01 53:06

They're like, go ahead and take them.

SPEAKER_00 53:08

And you're like, love it. I'm gonna take these home and let them thrive. Then you left for a week or ten days, you said.

SPEAKER_03 53:15

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_00 53:16

And I like my house dark. And so I shut all the blinds, and I didn't really think about the fact that all of the succulents in the window needed the blinds open during the day. And I was told I didn't need to do anything for the plants. And she assumed that I knew enough that the plants needed light at the very least.

SPEAKER_01 53:40

Well, I didn't know it wasn't like it was in our bedroom. No, they were in a window. Dark. So I lost all my succulents.

SPEAKER_00 53:50

That was felt really guilty when you got home. Yeah. And you were not happy about it.

SPEAKER_01 53:54

Yeah, I don't know.

SPEAKER_00 53:55

You were pretty frustrated. But uh, was I mean? I don't think you were mean, you were just like really disappointed. Yeah. And I don't handle being swine away.

SPEAKER_01 54:04

I just must say, I feel like I was pretty Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 54:06

I'm a liar because I can't handle it.

SPEAKER_01 54:08

Like, I didn't want you to feel upset about it. I was like, it's okay, but I was really sad.

SPEAKER_00 54:14

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 54:15

My bad.

SPEAKER_00 54:16

My bad.

SPEAKER_01 54:17

Never forget.

SPEAKER_00 54:18

Yeah, they're in a better place now.

SPEAKER_01 54:22

In the soil.

SPEAKER_00 54:23

Yep. Yep. Return to the earth.

SPEAKER_01 54:25

Yep. Well, on that note, I hope that you guys are having a wonderful week. Rate the rate the podcast, review the podcast. Uh, subscribe, follow, catch us on social, and we'll see you next week. Bye bye. Bye.