Overthinking with the Overbys

Grief, Tiger Suits, and Root Beer Floats

• Jo Johnson Overby & Matt Overby • Season 1 • Episode 7

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We’re coming off a brutal week as we say goodbye to Boji and try to put words to shock, grief, and what it means to lose a pet who shaped our everyday life. We laugh through the tears and break down an all-out Oscars costume party, a debate about family Halloween costumes, and a little nostalgia about landlines and the return of old habits. 

• processing sudden pet loss and the strange quiet that follows 
• how we talk to our kids about death with clear simple language 
• why whimsy and community rituals matter when life feels heavy 
• the Oscars party tradition and what makes it so fun 
• the tiger costume that did not fit
• who should be the main character in family Halloween costumes 
• favorite throwback costumes and what we’d do differently now 
• bad dad mean mom moments and repairing after a rough day 
• water bottle opinions and the realities of cleaning straws 
• word of the week and why some words are just unusable 
• the comeback of landlines and what it says about phones for kids 

If you've got a thought to share or are looking for a bit of advice on something, leave us a voicemail at the link below!

https://www.speakpipe.com/overthinkingpod

If you'd like to message us you can use the email below or the text link at the top overthinking@theoverbys.com

CONNECT:
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Instagram: @jojohnsonoverby / @matt.overby
Website:  https://jojohnsonoverby.com/

Shoe Compliments And Quick Intro

SPEAKER_01

I like your shoes. Thank you. A lot. I know you've worn them a couple times, but they might only be a couple times, though. They keep doing it for me. I really do like them. I'm Joe.

SPEAKER_00

I'm Matt.

SPEAKER_01

And welcome back to Overthinking with the Overbees. And I'm going to say at the beginning of this episode, if you're listening right now and you've listened before and you're back, take the time to go rate and review the podcast on Apple Podcasts or Spotify or wherever you are listening. I usually wait until the end to say that. And I don't think as many people make it to the end as the beginning. Uh so that's lacking confidence, isn't it? Um I think I think part of that's just looking at analytical data.

SPEAKER_00

I haven't thought about it, but I I think it makes more sense that people less people make it to the end than start at the beginning.

Losing Boji And Shock

SPEAKER_01

Right. You know? Yeah. Just from what's just a fact, right? Yes. Okay. Yeah. I just didn't want to sound self-deprecating, you know. Okay. Just checking in. Uh how how was your week? My week was bad.

SPEAKER_00

We had we had a similar week. Yeah, it was not a great week in the Overbee household.

SPEAKER_01

So last week we recorded.

SPEAKER_00

Yep.

SPEAKER_01

And we got done with the recording and had date night, got home from date night, and my dog Boji that I have had since college, the best girl and my best friend, and has been with me nonstop since, you know, forever, the last almost 12 years, was breathing really heavily and just doing some out-of-character behavior that wasn't going on before we'd left for date night. And so I rushed her to the emergency hospital and we'd done a little research and we thought she was gonna be okay. And even the vets at the emergency hospital thought she was gonna be okay, and her heart stopped while at the emergency vet. And uh yeah, it was there's a lot more that happened than that, but it was very traumatic, and I'm not gonna re-traumatize everybody listening. Uh, I ended up taking her by myself, and so for the rest of last week, I think I was pretty much in shock. Don't worry, this whole episode's not gonna be sad and you know sitting talking about that, but that is the big update from my week. And I've been having a I mean, I I think anybody would have a tough time with it. I don't think it's weird that I'm having a tough time, but no, I was just really shocked. We knew that she had congestive heart failure, and we had started her on a like medication regimen that the vet was pretty hopeful about a couple months ago, and it just didn't work out for her. So um lots of tears this week, and yeah, pets.

SPEAKER_00

I I'm I think we're both big animal people and yeah, yeah, but that was that was your dog that you got in college, and so especially like with the jobs you've worked, even when you worked retail, that draw like that dog went to work with you. Yeah, and so you spent almost no time apart from that dog, and so that dog loved you.

SPEAKER_01

You calling her that dog is crazy. You just kept like the first couple times I was like, okay, and then you kept calling her that.

SPEAKER_00

We have another dog, but yeah. You spent all of your time with her, and she spent all of her time with you, and so I fed her, and so she loved me for that, but you two were inseparable, and so it was really a shift, and we like it was interesting. We talked about and what really did impact me is you you were like, I'm not gonna have another dog like that. Like any dog we have going forward will be a family dog, like it will it will be a part of our family, but it won't be my dog the same way, and she really was your dog, and so that's been a real the to be grateful is it was probably the best way for her to go.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, she was happy, she was running around in the backyard that day, and yeah, she was very normal, a good day, she was not in pain. Well, and we never slow down during the day, ever normally on any given weekday, we work pretty normal hours. And that Monday, our childcare situation was a little different than usual. And so when our son went down for a nap, instead of working, I looked at Matt and said, Hey, do you want to sneak in an episode of the pit? Which we like when I stressed you guys, not out of saying we nobody should do that, just no how uncommon it is for us to do that on a Monday, especially, like not something we typically would do. And we sat down together in the middle of the day and watched an episode of the pit and snuggled with her on the couch. And I'm I was like very grateful that the world just like worked out how it did, and we got some time because I was gone all weekend prior to this, and so and I know that we touched up on my trip and everything last week, but it was just shocking, and I'm trying not to cry right now because I don't want to derail us, but no, I'm with you. I lived by myself with her for multiple years, and yeah, it's just there never will be another there will be more dogs, and there will be special dogs, I'm sure. And I pets are probably always gonna be a really important part of my life. I love animals, I love just having them and how unconditionally loving they are. I think that they're very inspirational. I that sounds kind of silly almost, but I find them inspiring how they are just so loving of the people around them. And uh I don't know that I will ever have another one like her.

SPEAKER_00

So no, like you can't. That's not a dog that can really feasibly be replaced. Not that dogs can be replaced. That's a crazy thing to say now that it's coming out of my mouth. Just it won't be the same situation. Like you won't be in the same phases of life, you won't share the same experiences, and that the amount of time even just won't be the same. And so it was a it was a really tough week.

SPEAKER_01

And Tuesday I literally just floated through. Yeah, I I wasn't even home the day after, like in my brain.

SPEAKER_00

I feel like dragged might be a better word.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, like I just I don't feel I wasn't in my body because I was so shocked and just devastated.

SPEAKER_00

We'll get through it. It won't, uh I don't think I'll ever feel good, but it that we will.

SPEAKER_01

We can move on.

SPEAKER_00

I feel like we're just repeating ourselves over and over again uh of the podcast. We're gonna try and move past that into the rest of our week because there were other things we did in our week and we had we had fun too. It was good stuff.

Oscars Party And Real Whimsy

SPEAKER_01

Yeah. Uh yeah. Once the weekend hit, things were a little better. And we had the Oscars this weekend, which we have good friends that every single year host an Oscars party and they go all out for this Oscars party. The theme of the Oscars party, I don't know, would you call it a theme? I guess the theme is Oscars.

SPEAKER_00

I was gonna say, was there a theme? Because I was not aware of a theme. I just know that we got dressed up and then everybody gets dressed up.

SPEAKER_01

Everybody that attends the party dresses up as characters from the Oscar nominated films from that year. And people go all out. Yeah, everyone is in full costume. There was fake blood, there were eye color changing contacts, there were wigs, there were, I mean, all kinds of things.

SPEAKER_00

The contacts were unsettling. Yeah. The first time I saw those, I was like, damn.

SPEAKER_01

I couldn't talk to Mitchell all night. Like, I did speak with him at one point, and I was like, just so you know, if it seems like I'm avoiding you, I am.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

But it's not because of you or your character as a person. No, I it is because I and he was like, Is it the blood and the fangs? And I was like, nope, blood and the fangs is fine. I can do that all. Yeah, that's fine with me. I was like, the eyes, I can't look at you.

SPEAKER_00

The eyes were a lot. They were a lot. It was so scary.

SPEAKER_01

They looked, I mean, he looked like that was part of the problem.

SPEAKER_00

Is you were like, Yes. Uh what? Um, okay.

SPEAKER_01

And I've also not seen any of the Oscar nominated films. No, no, no, no.

SPEAKER_00

So we have like we saw like half of the animated features.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

That was about it. Saw F1. Well, I've seen F1. I haven't. You haven't seen it. Yeah. Between us, I think we've maybe seen five.

SPEAKER_01

If you've seen three more than me, I want to kind of go back to the beginning because something that I realized while we were attending this party is we are so fortunate to have friends who host things like this. Yeah. Because it was a whole group of people who fully commit and show up ready to have a good time. And they do a whole spread of food that everybody contributes to and like it's done themselves. They have awards, they have sheets printed out of all the awards and nominees for everybody to take guesses at who's going to win what awards. And then on top of that, they also have a separate forum for everybody to vote on different categories of costume awards for who attended the party.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, I feel like I hear the conversation of like we need to have more whimsy. This group has whimsy.

SPEAKER_01

This groups, this group of people has whimsy.

SPEAKER_00

No shortage of whimsy. And so that's been a really fun change. Like we brought the kids, and there were other people that brought kids, and so it's a really fun dynamic, and the kids got really into it because they got to get dressed up and it wasn't Halloween.

SPEAKER_01

So um they were confused about that. Yeah, they couldn't figure out they're like, so are we gonna wear this again for Halloween? It's like no.

SPEAKER_00

Like we would like to be something different for Halloween. We were Zootopia 2 characters just to be and fully committed. Oh, absolutely.

SPEAKER_01

I didn't even quite realize how our like our costumes came together so well.

SPEAKER_00

They did.

SPEAKER_01

I was not prepared because I really thought that I'd kind of half-assed it.

SPEAKER_00

Which part?

SPEAKER_01

Well, because I just ordered a couple things, and then we kind of went off with a lot of items we already had.

SPEAKER_00

Um, okay. You know, everything I wore was not something I owned.

SPEAKER_01

But that's true. You were the hardest. But I your vest I ordered for myself so that I could wear again.

SPEAKER_00

Sure.

SPEAKER_01

And what I needed to order for the kids is all clothes that they can wear this season.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, the nice part is like their clothes are able to be reused.

SPEAKER_01

And I wore a swimsuit and a set that I had.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, like your outfit was mostly you had to order the horns. Yeah, and the jacket.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, and the jacket. Yeah.

The Tiger Costume Fiasco

SPEAKER_00

So you were the gazelle from Shakira from Zootopia too. I was a tiger backup dancer, and uh the suit didn't fit quite right.

SPEAKER_01

Um I will say, wait, let me preface this that I obviously had such a tough week last week. I was crying a lot. And for Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, I don't think anybody really even got smiles out of me.

SPEAKER_00

Like I was I wasn't even to be fair, I wasn't trying. Well, I think what a bold mood.

SPEAKER_01

I was really having a tough time.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

And I will forever remember the first time I started really laughing is when your tiger costume came in and you walked out in it.

SPEAKER_00

Resume. Uh yeah. So first things first, tiger costume. It had fingers and feet. It was like a full morph suit minus the head. And so there's that. And the arms and the legs were long enough, but the torso was not. And so it had a slight issue where the torso, I'd say was two inches too short. And so to get it on my body and over my shoulders. I mean, I don't believe there was a bigger option. It just um it wasn't built for me. It wasn't built for height to give it to get it over my shoulder, it was built for height if you had a short torso. It's like they kept the same torso from like a a medium or a large, and then just threw extra long arms on it, like that's how a person's built, and like longer legs, and that somebody is probably built that way, but it's not me. And so when I put it over my shoulders, it was taking that two inches back wherever it could get it, which happened to be uh the crotchal region front and back, and so it was up there. There were you could see full definition of the cheeks.

SPEAKER_01

Um well, that was what was funny, is when he came out initially, he had the shorts on over the tiger costume because that's what he was wearing. And I said, It doesn't look like it doesn't fit well, and he goes, babe, and he pulls the shorts down, and it was like I was being mooned by a tiger.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, it has a tail. That's really, I think, what adds to it is there is a tail directly above too completely outlined. It looks like it's painted on from behind. Um, I don't think there's a safe for work version picture that I can. I do have a picture, but I'm we have a couple pictures, but I don't know that they should be shared publicly.

SPEAKER_01

Um, it's not really like it's not it's it's not graphic, like in the way that when they paint swimsuits on models, technically things are covered. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

This looks like they painted a tiger suit over my ass. And um I wish it felt like that. It felt like there was a tiger suit in my ass, but um we did it anyway for the kids.

SPEAKER_01

For the kids the kids loved it.

SPEAKER_00

Yes, they did.

SPEAKER_01

They were really proud of it.

SPEAKER_00

So he did not stop trying to take my tail.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, the kids loved my life.

SPEAKER_00

And then he wanted me to chase him.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah. He's like, chase me, chase me.

Family Costume Politics For Halloween

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, and then he would get my tail and pull, and I'm like, please don't pull the tail. I feel like the whole back of this suit might explode.

SPEAKER_01

Okay, and I really want to know because this is something I considered as we were picking our costumes. How do you feel about family costumes where mom and dad are the main character and then the kids are the supporting roles? Or let me clarify how do you think when doing a family costume, who is what should be chosen? That's a better question.

SPEAKER_00

Ooh, now I feel I feel like this could be different for like an Oscars party or something where the kids make more sense as background characters because really the party is more for the adults than the kids. Like this is an event centered around an adult uh thing. Like kids aren't like what's happening on the Oscars this year.

SPEAKER_01

Okay, that's fair. I get you like that.

SPEAKER_00

Like four-year-olds, yeah. Not they're not they're not like who's been nominated for best actor. Not a thing. So for this, I feel like it makes more sense if we made ourselves main characters and then they were supporting characters to whatever that is, especially since the movies probably are less themed. Now, because there's animated features and stuff, it works that the kids can also be main characters, but it would be kind of weird. Or it might be awesome, I guess, if they were the main characters from movies.

SPEAKER_01

Okay, so take all the nuance out that you're giving it. Let's talk Halloween, let's talk later.

SPEAKER_00

I think kids should be the main character because it is not a holiday for adults. Or it should be totally separate. Like if you want to be a main character, just do something separate from your kids. But if you're gonna do a Halloween costume as a family, make the kids the main.

SPEAKER_01

That's just something I feel really, really strongly about.

SPEAKER_00

You feel strongly about it? Yeah, I can't say I'd thought about it, but yeah.

SPEAKER_01

Well, at Halloween every year, all of these influencers start posting their Halloween costumes as a family. And I sound so judgmental. I'm not thinking about it that much.

SPEAKER_00

Name names, light them up.

SPEAKER_01

No, but so often you'll see these families who are posting like they are, I don't know, I'm trying to think of an example, tangled. So, like the mom is Rapunzel, the dad's Flynn Ryder, and then they dress up their child as a chameleon.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, that kind of sucks.

SPEAKER_01

You know, things like that. And I I guess it's different if the kids really into the chameleon. The chameleon. Or, you know, I and I know there are circumstances like that where the kids, like, I want to be this weird, vague side character.

SPEAKER_00

Like, I'd like to be the frog.

SPEAKER_01

Exactly. Whatever. Absolutely. But I do think sometimes I see moms like really center themselves, and I just struggle with that. But I didn't know if other people thought about it at all, or if I'm making it way too deep.

SPEAKER_00

As a dad in a family costume, I feel like you're mainly there for comedic relief. That might just be how I live my life.

SPEAKER_01

But I don't think that's exclusive to all men. I think that is kind of your category.

SPEAKER_00

Got it. What's my category? My category of like dad? Yeah. Yeah. And like dude. And like my dudes out there.

SPEAKER_01

Well, something that I've realized with a lot of conversations we've had recently is I don't think you have a lot of exposure to dudes. Men. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

I'm okay with that.

SPEAKER_01

Not since high school and college.

SPEAKER_00

Like you really you have your I live at our house and sometimes I work out with some guys.

SPEAKER_01

Well, like you have your close friends, yeah, but they all are similar to you.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

Like you're not expected to be a good one. You live in a bubble.

SPEAKER_00

A dude's bubble makes it sound the wrong way. Like I'm only around dudes, but I'm in a small bubble of dudes. Yeah. Not broadly exposed to the dudosphere.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, you kind of you've tried, and then you come home and you're like, that was not for me. But I I'm making it sound like you don't have friends, and I don't mean that.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, I there's I feel like you just there's at least three of them.

SPEAKER_01

Well, no, I just feel like you have low tolerance for bullshit.

SPEAKER_00

Uh yeah, I can't sustain bullshit very long. I have a very I I will say, as someone who's 33, the pitch of being a stay-at-home dad slash content creator who doesn't create that much content consistently and husband to someone who is a full-time content creator, and that's our main gig, that is not a conversation starter for there. Will be a few that are like, wow, that's really interesting, and then tell me more about that, and then you're kind of like I I kind of describe the whole thing. Um so still not that great of a pitch. And then there's some that are like, Oh, I was just gonna talk to you about like work and sports. And like, I like sports, but once you run out of sports, then they're like, We got nothing. Like, I'm an insurance, and you're like, God, cool. Well, tell me about insurance.

SPEAKER_01

Matt's like, tell me about whimsy.

SPEAKER_00

What's the last whimsical thing you've done? No. Uh yeah, it's a weird, it's there's some weird dynamics I've had with that particular explanation. Or you get, wow, I wish I could be a stay-at-home dad. You're like, actually not very good at it. Yeah, I um like I try my best, but it is not all it's cracked up to be.

SPEAKER_01

And uh you're like, actually, I think that you're undervaluing undervaluing stay-at-home parents, especially probably stay-at-home moms.

SPEAKER_00

Uh yeah, 100%. Yep. That is just a fact. But I will say, as someone who tried it on for a while and now we have help, um, I needed the help. It's a tough gig.

SPEAKER_01

I'm returning back to the costumes though.

SPEAKER_00

Got it.

SPEAKER_01

I I just I think that kids should be the main character in the costumes unless they have a specific obsession or fixation with some side character, then that's fine. And I don't feel like that's most of the time.

SPEAKER_00

No. I mean, they're gonna most of them are not like I see myself in this side character over.

SPEAKER_01

Different when it's a baby. I'm like, I feel like year one, maybe year two, you can get away with it. But after that, kids should be picking their costumes.

SPEAKER_00

Once they have an ability to communicate with you and have like strong feelings about the characters, and or like, and not strong feelings like when you have a one-year-old and they just sometimes have strong feelings about like that thing versus that thing. Once they have an interest, I think that's when you have to start really considering it because what are you doing? Like again, Halloween is not adult. It is an when you have kids, it should be centered around kids.

SPEAKER_01

I agree.

SPEAKER_00

And if you're gonna do an adult-centered thing, then do that too.

SPEAKER_01

I agree.

SPEAKER_00

But it's an addition. So same page.

SPEAKER_01

You're holding the mic the wrong way.

Favorite Costumes And Party Memories

SPEAKER_00

Uh always. That's kind of my brand, actually. Do you have like a favorite Halloween costume?

SPEAKER_01

That we've ever done?

SPEAKER_00

Yeah. Yeah. Okay. I do. What do you got?

SPEAKER_01

You know what it is.

SPEAKER_00

Is it the Legos? Yeah, it's the Legos.

SPEAKER_01

Matt and I dress as Legos in 2012.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, that's it. For Halloween.

SPEAKER_01

I loved those costumes, and Matt despised them. I hated them so much, and they were so cool. Like, I would do that again.

SPEAKER_00

I would do it again. I would modify a lot of things about it. I would downsize the boxes.

SPEAKER_01

I wouldn't.

SPEAKER_00

Okay.

SPEAKER_01

I wouldn't downsize the boxes, but I would wrap them instead of painting them.

SPEAKER_00

That would be a huge game changer.

SPEAKER_01

Like, I would get yellow paper and wrap them and then just paint the cups.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

Because that's where our mistake was, is we were trying to paint boxes.

SPEAKER_00

We were spray painting cardboard. Yeah. It was dumb. I don't know if you've ever tried to color like bold color paint cardboard.

SPEAKER_01

Why didn't I use a brush? I'm so I don't know.

SPEAKER_00

Because we just you just went to the store and grabbed like two rattle cans.

SPEAKER_01

I had no idea what I was doing.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, it took like a thousand coats.

SPEAKER_01

Matt was so mad.

SPEAKER_00

I was not you And then we had to navigate these parties in that doesn't bother me. Like that's they were like in mini fridge boxes. How like I maybe I'm blowing them out of.

SPEAKER_01

You're blowing them so out of proportion.

SPEAKER_00

I felt like I was the size of a small report.

SPEAKER_01

We'll insert a picture here so you can look, those of you that are watching the podcast. They just fit over our like hip to shoulder.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, I don't know.

SPEAKER_01

They You're acting like you were in like a semi-truck.

SPEAKER_00

I felt like I was in a semi-truck.

SPEAKER_01

Like I don't understand.

SPEAKER_00

Like I was having a walk around a party and I just felt like I was a giant red obstacle. Was I the red one?

SPEAKER_01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

I'm pretty sure I was the red one. I was a yellow. You were a yellow Lego. Did we do that just because the solo cups were red and yellow?

SPEAKER_01

No, they weren't red and yellow. We painted the solo cup.

SPEAKER_00

We painted the solo cups?

SPEAKER_01

They were clear cups that we painted.

SPEAKER_00

Of course we did.

SPEAKER_01

They were like little, they were the little cups. Not a full-size solo cup. They were like the small.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, I do feel like we would do a better job with it this time.

SPEAKER_01

Definitely. And we would think it would be fun with the kids. Like I think the kids would have a blast with that.

SPEAKER_00

That's true. You think they'd want to be bricks or they'd want to be people?

SPEAKER_01

I don't know.

SPEAKER_00

I feel like they'd want to be Lego people.

SPEAKER_01

That'd be cool. They could be Lego people and we could be just regular bricks.

SPEAKER_00

Just big old bricks.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah. I think that would be a fun Halloween costume. That's by far my favorite. Do you have a favorite?

SPEAKER_00

A favorite? Oh man. I don't know why I even asked this question. I hadn't thought about it.

SPEAKER_01

I also really liked the year before the Legos. We were stick people where we wore those morph suits.

SPEAKER_00

We were stick people. The stick people were fun. It was simple. Trying to think, I can't even think of our Halloween costumes. The Lego one just has really burned into my mind, but it's not as my favorite.

SPEAKER_01

We were Legos. Uh I was a beanie baby after that. I'm trying to think of what else.

SPEAKER_00

I also get confused sometimes because you had themed events, sorority events. And so I was like, was that Halloween, or were we just dressed up?

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, we dressed as the Aristocats for a Disney uh event one time.

SPEAKER_00

I forgot.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, there was a lot of my friends were the little kittens, and we were the the Tom Cat and the Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

What a weird weird, weird time to be alive.

SPEAKER_01

No, you have to pick a costume. Yeah. Um you can't think of anything.

SPEAKER_00

I can't like I'm just blanking on what I've been for Halloween.

SPEAKER_01

Ice Ice Baby.

SPEAKER_00

Ice Ice Baby was really good.

SPEAKER_01

Um we were uh Pete Davidson and Timothy Chalamet.

SPEAKER_00

Pete Davidson and Tim Timothy Chalamet was one of the best. That is uh a great costume, and then I overserved my slow and then I are you overserved right now? Overserved myself. Uh I overserved myself slash hadn't eaten and was uh yeah, I hadn't eaten and I drank too much. Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_01

Where you are drunk. There aren't a ton of them, but the the four or five, it's that you have not eaten every single time.

SPEAKER_00

Usually the pretext to like Matt got too drunk was Matt didn't eat anything after breakfast that day and proceeded to just power right through it. And uh two drinks works like five drinks. I really liked the costume though. The costume was a lot of fun.

SPEAKER_01

Okay.

SPEAKER_00

Mainly because that SNL bit's really funny, but what were we this year?

SPEAKER_01

Why don't I remember?

SPEAKER_00

That's uh K-pop demon hunters. Were you affiliated with Oh yeah?

SPEAKER_01

I didn't, but we went to a Halloween party and I dressed up as something for the Halloween party.

SPEAKER_00

I did.

SPEAKER_01

How do I already not remember what we were?

SPEAKER_00

That's my problem too.

SPEAKER_01

I'm like, Well, I remember all those other years, I just don't remember this year.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

So is this episode just Halloween and spring?

SPEAKER_00

Halloween and spring, yes. Yeah. Well, is it like six months apart? Did we actually no? Nope. That wouldn't be till April.

SPEAKER_01

Close though.

SPEAKER_00

It is close. Yeah, we're only about six weeks away.

SPEAKER_01

So pretty good.

SPEAKER_00

Pretty good for us.

SPEAKER_01

What else? Uh, do you have anything else on your update? That was a long update for the week.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah. Still feeling good about that. It was a main character from last week, so might as well check back in.

SPEAKER_01

Still working.

Bad Dad Mean Mom Moments

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, it's still working. So two weeks in a row, baby.

SPEAKER_01

Okay. Bad dad, mean mom.

SPEAKER_00

Bad dad, mean mom. I have a bad dad for sure. Um, speaking of taking your vibe ants, I thought I did yesterday and I did not. And just a quick apology to the entire family for just being kind of a dickhead yesterday. Just wasn't very nice. Just couldn't really accept feedback or the general needs of the people and wasn't very nice about it. Just like it was bad. I felt bad. Didn't feel good. It was a bad dad moment.

SPEAKER_01

I don't know if you have a mean mom one, but I uh the only thing that I could think of for mean mom was I don't know if I approached letting the kids know that their dog had died well.

SPEAKER_00

Oh man.

SPEAKER_01

Like I don't know that I failed at it, and I don't know that we need to like go into deep discussion about it, but that was kind of what I thought of as mean mom because obviously, like they went to bed and everything was normal, and then when they woke up, Boji was gone. You only had one dog. Yeah, and so that whether I did it well or not felt like mean mom to be like, by the way.

SPEAKER_00

I don't know. I feel like we tried to be really direct about it. Like, if anyone's curious how we handled it, I feel like we tried to confront it right on.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, they woke up and well, I was teary.

SPEAKER_00

You were a mess.

SPEAKER_01

I was a mess. So ever they were like, What is wrong with mom?

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, there was a lot of like kids pretty worried about mom, which ideally in a perfect world, if it had not been the situation it was, we try to avoid being the source of concern for that.

SPEAKER_01

For sure, for sure.

SPEAKER_00

Not to be like you can't cry in front of your kids. Like it's just you want to make them feel like the situation is stable. And that probably was if there was a mean mom, bad dad, there was maybe Tuesday, we didn't seem like the most stable people. I'm glad they went to to preschool that day because good grief.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, a little teary-eyed around the place, but I would say that's my mean mom from the week, though. I don't know that sometimes bad dad feels the term feels less harsh than mean mom, you know, and I know that it should be different connotations for sure. For sure, yeah.

SPEAKER_00

It's just a segment name, it's not uh an identity that we try to do.

SPEAKER_01

It's just things that we didn't feel like we nailed in parenting this week. I, though, was very grateful because I think that you handled it with such grace and you were very direct and very communicative in order to answer questions and make them feel very heard in that moment in a way that I didn't feel available to do. Yeah. And so that I love when we get to have parenting moments like that where I don't feel like I have it in my bag and I get to watch you handle it so beautifully. I think that we're a really good team that way. Totally. I feel like last week really highlighted that.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, I've seen you do that with a lot of things as well. Almost anything that requires emotional regulation, that's usually a good spot for you. Yeah. You stay extremely regulated, and you're like, Yeah, dad's having big feelings too. He's also losing his mind.

SPEAKER_01

So I do not say that. No, you don't say that.

SPEAKER_00

I say that. Frequently, I'm like, hey, you know how you feel like everything's out of control? Dad feels that way too. And so we're together in this, but we're gonna all go to mom and stuff like that. I'm working on it, yeah. It's way more appropriate for you to feel that way than for me to act that way. I can feel that way. I just can't we can't both act out.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, you're supposed to have tools by yeah.

SPEAKER_00

I've had 29 more years on this earth to figure this out, and we're right at the same level. So sorry. Yeah, there was we just were like, hey, she went to the doctor last night, she died. What do you guys think about that? And I won't lie. At first they were like, What are you talking about? And it took a couple days. At first, after the first day, I was like, Do our kids know we have dogs?

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, they handled that fine.

SPEAKER_00

They they were like, Okay, I got it.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, then it started to register for sure.

SPEAKER_00

Then the next day when the dog still wasn't around and they were like, Hey, what's going on here? Like, I know you told us, and then we had to like go through.

SPEAKER_01

But we have more questions, which is great. I think that that's part of parenting, is you don't need to overexplain, you explain to the level at which they accept, and then you move on and let them come to you as questions come.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, it's not like they have to feel some kind of way about it. If they don't, they don't. You're like, okay, that's that's fine. If you're wondering why we're like devastated, this this is what's happened and something, you know, a dog that was very special to us in the past. So but the more direct we've handled things like that, I feel like the better it's gone.

SPEAKER_01

I agree.

SPEAKER_00

And they tend to they're very adaptable kids. Like I that gets said a lot, but they really they feed off of you, and so the more direct and the more confident and the more stable you can project things, even if they're upsetting, they they tend to be like, okay, got it. Like or if they don't got it, they'll tell you and you can go see. Help them from there.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, I agree.

Drinks Water Bottles And Mold

SPEAKER_00

It's been an interesting learning experience for sure.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, what are you drinking today?

SPEAKER_00

A drinking, I I have a diet coke. I don't know if I've touched it, but I love me a diet coke.

SPEAKER_01

I have water and I just like to take a moment, uh, not sponsored. Say the new uh broommate cup solved every problem I had with. I've always gone back to my broommate. I've tried a lot of different kinds of cups, and I go back to my broommate every time. And the one complaint I had is that the straw did not like collapse and get covered because most of the time around the house that was fine. But then when I would fly with it or I would do things where I was setting it down, it felt weird to have my straw just like dangling dangling on an airplane or in an airport or whatever.

SPEAKER_00

If you pack it and the straw dangles, then you get like lint and stuff in it too.

SPEAKER_01

Right. And so, anyway, long story short, they came out with a new cup where the straw collapses, but it still has like the silicone straw, and I'm just absolutely enamored.

SPEAKER_00

You really are. You have real feelings about water bottles, and uh I do. This one might be your end game water bottle. It is I still rock around with the hydro jug. I just hate how it gets moldy under the straw.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah. Because I got the one with the handle, it's like a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of this one comes apart better to clean, in my opinion.

SPEAKER_00

Yes. Well, that's the biggest flaw. If you could just pull the straw off of the hydro jug decently and clean up inside there, I'd feel fine about it. But yeah, I have opinions.

SPEAKER_01

I have opinions.

SPEAKER_00

So I just have to look at the mold in there and be like, I think it's fine.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

You know? If I can't get to it, can it hurry?

SPEAKER_01

I think it's a good one. I don't think so. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

No, I have a chemical engineering degree.

SPEAKER_01

Oh, okay, okay, yeah. Chemie. Okay. I'm drinking water. You're drinking Diet Coke.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah. It's a combination of champions, really. I think so.

SPEAKER_01

I'm not a Diet Coke girl.

SPEAKER_00

No, you're like purely Diet Dr. Pepper. I feel like that's the only soda. You'll do a fresca.

SPEAKER_01

I do like fresca.

SPEAKER_00

You like a fresco? You've got a broad variety of like culture pop and some of those that you occasionally. Yeah, but like if you're gonna go soda, it's one of those in that range. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

In terms of but I really don't pick one up.

SPEAKER_00

No, I don't even do that very often. But in terms of traditional soda, you are a Diet Dr. Pepper. Diet Dr. Pepper, Fresca, uh Pib Extra. Yes, Diet Pib Extra, whatever it is.

SPEAKER_01

It's Pib. Is it Diet Pib? Mr. Pib.

SPEAKER_00

Mr. Pib, I mean it's Mr. Pib, but whatever Diet Mr. Pib is. Yeah, I don't know. Not regionally.

SPEAKER_01

The only place that you can get it is at the AMC movie theater here in like the big mix, whatever you call them, dispenser.

SPEAKER_00

The Coca-Cola Freestyle. The freestyle machine.

SPEAKER_01

You can get Diet Pib.

SPEAKER_00

They do have uh Pib syrup in it, I guess. It's so good. It is so much it's literally like why we went to AMC for a long period of time.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

Because they had the Coke freestyle machines, and you're like, I gotta give me some PIB.

SPEAKER_01

I that I think might be my favorite soda. Really? Diet Pib.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah. If only we lived somewhere you could buy it.

SPEAKER_01

You can't get it anywhere.

SPEAKER_00

We have a friend who also likes it, and she got it in like Georgia and brought it back by the like case. Painful, yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

And uh what other one do I really like? I like root beer occasionally.

SPEAKER_00

Really? I haven't seen you drink a root beer like ever.

SPEAKER_01

I don't pick it very often, but every once in a while that'll sound good. I'd rather just have a root beer. I like ice cream and I like root beer. It's not that I don't, like they can go together and it's fine, but I'd rather just drink a root beer and eat the ice cream.

SPEAKER_00

I hate that when you make a root beer float, that skin that forms that's really good only happens once. You can't pour it on again, and then that works.

SPEAKER_01

I don't even know what you're talking about.

SPEAKER_00

Okay, anyway.

SPEAKER_01

We're gonna have to make root beer floats together.

SPEAKER_00

Like a coating where the root beer has touched the ice cream and it's like kind of crystal anyway, it's really good. But then if you try and pour more root beer on the ice cream, it doesn't really work again.

SPEAKER_01

Okay.

SPEAKER_00

It's very disappointing.

SPEAKER_01

Okay, we're gonna have to try that.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, I feel like I could learn about why that happens, but instead I like to just be kind of upset about it.

SPEAKER_01

Okay.

SPEAKER_00

And now I'll probably look it up and it I won't be able to sleep until I figure it out. But until now, it hasn't crossed my mind.

SPEAKER_01

It hasn't really bothered you?

Word Of The Week Putative

SPEAKER_00

No, not at all. But speaking of bothering you, word of the week.

SPEAKER_01

Word of the week.

SPEAKER_00

You ready?

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, I am ready. Muzz was last week. I don't remember what it means already, though. Um you don't either, so that's okay. It's like confusing.

SPEAKER_00

It was like to confuse someone.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, I yeah, but I can only do it as muzzed. I was having a really hard time using muzz.

SPEAKER_00

Don't muzz me. Yeah, don't muzz me. Yeah. Like I've been muzzed was a lot easier. Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

Don't muzz me with the word of the week.

SPEAKER_00

It's kinda it's kind of like puzzled, like puzz, but puzz is not a word. I don't think puzzled.

SPEAKER_01

I don't like that at all.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah. This podcast is mainly just me thinking like a stream of consciousness and then being like, that didn't come out right at all.

SPEAKER_01

Hit me with the word of the week.

SPEAKER_00

Word of the week. Putative. Putative.

SPEAKER_01

That's a legal term.

SPEAKER_00

Um, I don't think so. Oh you're thinking punitive.

SPEAKER_01

Oh, okay.

SPEAKER_00

Which is about punishment.

SPEAKER_01

Dang it. That is what I was thinking of, but it's different.

SPEAKER_00

One letter different, yeah.

SPEAKER_01

Okay.

SPEAKER_00

P-U-T-A-T-I-V.

SPEAKER_01

Putative.

SPEAKER_00

Putative.

SPEAKER_01

That is why English is stupid. It is a dumb way. Stupid because that is like no different in my brain than punitive.

SPEAKER_00

I know.

SPEAKER_01

Well, that's putative, punitive. And the thing is, if I say putative, people are gonna think that I'm just saying punitive poorly. This is useless. Tell me what it means.

SPEAKER_00

And you are known to say some things incorrect. All the time.

SPEAKER_01

Have you ever heard of the abysque?

SPEAKER_00

I don't bring it up, but there are a few things you've said where after I hear it a few times, I'm like, hey, you keep throwing this around and you know that it's abyss.

SPEAKER_01

Not correct. And yet, like I can spell it. The thing is, if I'm typing something out, I know it's A B Y S S, correct?

SPEAKER_00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

And yet when I say it out loud, it is abysque.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, the lobster abisque.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

Yes. That is how you say it.

SPEAKER_01

But um I've been trying really hard. I've really just stopped saying it. Anyway, what what does putative mean?

SPEAKER_00

Putative. Uh, it's a formal word used to describe something that's generally believed, supposed, or assumed.

SPEAKER_01

Okay. So like uh uh there's a bottom of the ocean with creatures. Is it putative belief?

SPEAKER_00

Yes. Yeah, something just generally understood.

SPEAKER_01

So 'cause like we don't know for sure what creatures are down there, but we know there are probably creatures we don't know about in the ocean.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, there I mean there's definitely creatures we don't know about in the ocean.

SPEAKER_01

And that's a putative point. I don't know how to use it.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, I guess so. Yeah. More like effective, like the putative leader of something. It's understood.

SPEAKER_01

Okay.

SPEAKER_00

But maybe not formal.

SPEAKER_01

I might use muzz, but I'm never using putative.

SPEAKER_00

I don't think you should.

SPEAKER_01

I like it when you pick things I can use.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, that's probably fair. I just thought it was a fun one to say, although I screwed it up multiple times and we had to cut it. So there's that.

SPEAKER_01

There's that.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah. Sometimes the word of the week gets me too.

The Return Of Landlines And Nostalgia

SPEAKER_01

Yeah. Oh, we've been talking a lot this week about the return of the 90s.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

And I thought we could touch on that before we call it a night because none of you have written us emails this week.

SPEAKER_00

Shame.

SPEAKER_01

We had so many voicemails and emails, and I felt like they were just never ending there for a while.

SPEAKER_00

You think it's because your dog died and they were like, we can't.

SPEAKER_01

Did my dog die and now you guys don't like me?

SPEAKER_00

That's not what I was saying. Just to be very clear.

SPEAKER_01

No, I just feel like we haven't been plugging that enough, and it's always at the end of the episode, which here we are towards do that. Leave us a voicemail or write us an email or shoot us a text.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, the text is a really easy option, and it we get pinged all over the place and it's good. So somebody did have something they messaged us, but it was just like, would love for you guys to do a parenting episode. So if you message us, you're like, what the hell? That's what it was. But there wasn't really a question.

SPEAKER_01

And that is getting put on the docket to do some episodes. Yeah. It doesn't always have to be a question or advice that you're wanting, it can be feedback or things that you're wanting to hear from us, etc.

SPEAKER_00

And you pointed out like we've done one on the previous iteration of the podcast, but we forget that we can talk about a lot of this stuff again, plus it's been years. So we're gonna try and do that. So the nineties. The nineties that's what the nineties is all about.

SPEAKER_01

Well, it's just back, and I feel like you really were realizing that as we were watching the Oscars.

SPEAKER_00

Yes, yeah. I it's been slowly happening. I feel like there's been bits and pieces.

SPEAKER_01

I actually don't feel like it's the nineties. I feel like it's the tens.

SPEAKER_00

The tens. I thought you might go eighties. No, I feel like well, you know what? I feel like it's a blend of like early aughts. When you say tens, do you actually mean tens or do you mean odds?

SPEAKER_01

Well, I thought the Oscars was interesting because there was a lot of 2010s references and celebrations of movies turning like 15 years old and etc.

SPEAKER_00

Okay.

SPEAKER_01

There was a lot of that.

SPEAKER_00

Okay, that makes sense. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

I'm not so much talking about style, I guess. The style is definitely early aughts, more than 90s to me.

SPEAKER_00

Okay. I'm thinking of like how a bunch of analog media or personal media players are back. And some of that stuff is like late 80s and tell me more. I'm saying it's late 80s and it's definitely not now. Uh, but that's like an odds thing. The like MP3 players.

SPEAKER_01

Oh.

SPEAKER_00

And lots of stuff.

SPEAKER_01

I feel like there's a real push towards I know there's a big push right now to go back to analog phones. Analog?

SPEAKER_00

It's not analog.

SPEAKER_01

That's not the right word.

SPEAKER_00

Would be if people were going to like cassette players. Okay, sorry. Which I think there is a community of people that want Walkman's back.

SPEAKER_01

I didn't mean analog. I mean a phone line, like in the house, like a home phone line. Really? Yeah. Like for kids and stuff and teenagers, instead of getting them cell phones, they're getting them a home phone. Thank you. That's what I was trying to say this entire time. They're getting them landlines so that they can talk to friends, but they don't have access to the internet and everything at freedom.

SPEAKER_00

Like, you know, they still have access to a computer and whatever they need, but it's probably good practice just because I feel like people don't talk to each other, but it makes a lot of sense to me. Man, that is a whole commitment. I feel like I would be cosplaying the 90s or late 80s if I put in a landline.

SPEAKER_01

I think it's kind of weird that we don't have landlines.

SPEAKER_00

Why?

SPEAKER_01

Because I think the cell phones are so unhealthy in the way that they're attached to us, and I don't think they need to be attached to us in the same way if we had home phone numbers still.

SPEAKER_00

Telemarketers killed home phones.

SPEAKER_01

I know.

SPEAKER_00

So, like I don't answer a number I don't recognize.

SPEAKER_01

Right. I don't either.

SPEAKER_00

I definitely wouldn't want to answer my landline basically ever. Although I guess you can get the ones that are like caller ID. That was I remember when that was a whole thing. That was a huge thing. Now it's just like unknown number all the time.

SPEAKER_01

I think I used to call you on your landline.

SPEAKER_00

Yes, because that was the era of cell phones cost money.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

If you talked on them too much.

SPEAKER_01

Right.

SPEAKER_00

And so we So we talked on the landline sometimes. Call on the landline. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

I don't remember what your landline phone number was or anything. I never had that memorized.

SPEAKER_00

I think I still know it. I'm not going to put it out there. But although it probably doesn't work. Like I guess it's not tied to your house? I don't know.

SPEAKER_01

No, it's not tied to the house. I I don't think that you like move with it either, though, if you move cities.

SPEAKER_00

Because I think it's Yeah, well, you can't take it to a new city for sure. I wonder if you can do it. Locally provided, isn't it? Yeah, I guess.

SPEAKER_01

I think you can move with it from home to home.

SPEAKER_00

In the same area. Yeah. The same uh first three digits. Like same provider. That's what I was looking for.

SPEAKER_01

I don't really know though. That's a good question. I don't either. I still have my best friend from growing up memorized. Like I remember what her voicemail, like her family's voicemail box was when you answered. Or when they didn't.

SPEAKER_00

My parents still have the same cell phone numbers. Because I have all of those memorized. Yeah, I also have my. My brother I never never learned his. I know yours. I recognize it, but I'm I've his has changed once or twice too, I think, and that's really gotten you.

SPEAKER_01

I don't know my dad's because my dad's has changed a lot with work. Oh. But I know my mom's, I know yours, I know mine. I know my home phone.

SPEAKER_00

You know my mom's.

SPEAKER_01

I don't.

SPEAKER_00

She has the easiest one like ever.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, I know. And you say that every single time, and I know it's easy for you.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, I won't dox my mom, but it's like like five digits total. And they repeat each other. Anyway, there's a very easy pattern. But the problem with my mom's number is it has such an easy pattern that you say it in a way that isn't how people say phone numbers. And so they're like, what the hell did you just say to me?

SPEAKER_01

It's easy again for you, and then you do this where you gaslight everybody else to mean like it's so easy. I can't believe you don't remember. Well, what you just said, phone number is seven digits.

SPEAKER_00

So no uh ten, but yeah.

SPEAKER_01

Without the area code, got it. It's seven digits, correct?

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, can you still dial numbers without the area code? I feel like I'm not tracking.

SPEAKER_01

If you're in the area code, yes. Okay. But no area code, a phone number is seven digits, correct?

SPEAKER_00

Yes.

SPEAKER_01

And you just told me her phone number is only five digits, which means it only repeats.

SPEAKER_00

I was counting the first three.

unknown

Okay.

SPEAKER_00

There's only has three numbers in it. If you don't count the area code.

unknown

Ah!

SPEAKER_01

I think that makes it harder to remember. No, yes, there's a pattern.

SPEAKER_00

I want to say it so badly. Oh, you're funny.

SPEAKER_01

Well, do you have any final notes to everybody today?

SPEAKER_00

Final notes. Yeah, text us. Talk to us. We want to talk to you. That's the fun part of this. It really is the fun part of this. Maybe we need to update our our sex one. That was a very popular one.

SPEAKER_01

Matt, are you gonna have to drink if we do another episode on sex?

SPEAKER_00

I don't think it could hurt. Yeah. I'll try and eat beforehand. I think that's best. Otherwise, I'm just gonna be just completely blitzed on this thing.

SPEAKER_01

I did always find that that episode was really popular. We did a two-parter for that one.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

And it was fun. It was a really interesting conversation, and I'd be totally willing to revisit that. We were kind of looking through what everybody's favorite episodes were from over-sharing and thinking about what we could do in terms of revisiting some of those and overthinking because we want to get quite a few episodes under our belt before we start bringing on guests, which is something I'm very excited about. Yeah, hoping to do through this year.

SPEAKER_00

And we'd love to have them more like in studio space. And so that means we got to schedule stuff and get people coming here.

SPEAKER_01

You know how recording works, right? Anyway, well, on that note, we hope that you guys have a great week. I hope that this week is a better week for us and that we come back at our full form.

SPEAKER_00

Imagine it's not. I can't even fathom what that would be.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, I know. I hope not. But rate review, you know all the things, and we'll talk soon. Bye.