How To Invent A Plate And Start A Fight

We bounce from real-life chaos to listener questions, from exploding phone batteries and adult Easter egg hunts to the surprisingly serious role whimsy plays in staying calm. We share practical ways to slow down, make big relationship moves feel fair, and decide when and how to share pregnancy news with the people who matter. 

This week we discuss:
• Behind-the-scenes of a season six lake photo shoot and why timing always gets weird 
• A swollen phone battery scare and the realities of DIY fixes 
• Why adult Easter egg hunts get competitive fast 
• The internet thread about “inventing” things that already exist 
• Nostalgia, time blindness, and learning to build in buffer time 
• Choosing generous interpretations of people without denying reality 
• The difference between complaining and making everyone miserable 
• A cookie cake confession and other imperfect-parent moments 
• Adding whimsy and romanticizing your life in realistic ways 
• Moving in together when both partners own a home, including renting and timelines 
• When to tell family and friends you’re pregnant and who gets the final say 
• Pregnancy and parenting resources, including research-based books and therapy 

If you've got a thought to share or are looking for a bit of advice on something, leave us a voicemail at the link below!

https://www.speakpipe.com/overthinkingpod

If you'd like to message us you can use the email below or the text link at the top overthinking@theoverbys.com

CONNECT:
TikTok: @jojohnsonoverby / @matt.overby
Instagram: @jojohnsonoverby / @matt.overby
Website:  https://jojohnsonoverby.com/

Transcript

Late Recording And Quick Catch-Up

SPEAKER_01 0:04

I need chapstick so bad.

SPEAKER_00 0:06

Really?

SPEAKER_01 0:06

Yeah, I don't have any though.

SPEAKER_00 0:07

It's okay. We're only gonna record for like an hour longer.

unknown 0:10

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 0:10

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 0:11

I'm gonna make it. I'm Joe.

SPEAKER_00 0:13

I'm Matt.

SPEAKER_02 0:13

And this is Overthinking with the Overbees.

SPEAKER_00 0:16

We're the Overbees.

SPEAKER_02 0:17

And I really questioned what it was called for a second. Woo! This is not my best.

SPEAKER_00 0:22

That's all right. That's okay. We're doing a late recording, which is not our thing normally.

SPEAKER_02 0:26

Usually this is date night. And for date night, we're talking to you all because what did I do today?

SPEAKER_00 0:32

You shot the late collection.

SPEAKER_02 0:33

I took all the late collection pictures.

SPEAKER_00 0:36

How many years?

SPEAKER_02 0:37

This is season six. Wow. I'm really excited. It is really crazy. I can't believe somebody believed in me enough six years ago to do this or five years ago. I think it's five years ago.

SPEAKER_00 0:52

Okay, that makes more sense.

SPEAKER_02 0:53

Because it's the sixth one, and then it has a whole year in front of it, you know?

SPEAKER_00 0:58

Yeah, that checks out.

SPEAKER_02 1:00

Five years ago we launched the first season.

SPEAKER_00 1:02

Still.

SPEAKER_02 1:04

This was the first year in six seasons. This was the first year that we went to go take the pictures, and it was warm outside, like it was hot outside, and all of the trees were green. And so it really looked like summer on the lake, and it felt like summer on the lake.

SPEAKER_00 1:21

Yeah, normally you shoot it at this time, but it's still not green, and it's not very warm. So you just have to find a way to fake it looking like summertime.

SPEAKER_02 1:30

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:31

Otherwise, it looks like you went to the lake during last year.

SPEAKER_02 1:33

It was cold, it was windy, it was overcast, and I was 40 weeks pregnant.

SPEAKER_00 1:38

That's right. Yeah, it was so windy. Like we kept worrying that we were gonna lose stuff into the lake, which is so pregnant.

SPEAKER_02 1:45

Yeah, I was so pregnant.

SPEAKER_00 1:47

Yeah, we were mainly worried that you were gonna have the kid.

SPEAKER_02 1:51

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_00 1:52

Either before like I guess I guess you were worried you were gonna have to do it.

SPEAKER_02 1:56

I was gonna go into labor before the items came in to take pictures of.

SPEAKER_00 2:00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 2:01

Because the launch happens the same week every single year. It doesn't move.

SPEAKER_00 2:04

And then we would be relying on you to be like functional to which three days postpartum.

SPEAKER_02 2:09

Yeah, it's like realistically, I shouldn't be doing that. I should be hanging out with my baby.

SPEAKER_00 2:13

No. Again, assuming you're even healthy enough to do that.

SPEAKER_02 2:17

Right.

SPEAKER_00 2:17

Which you've had good experiences. I have you might technically be physically still not a good idea. You're not supposed to do like any of that.

SPEAKER_02 2:25

No. Yeah. But we're not very good at abiding by rules that way.

SPEAKER_00 2:30

No, we break the rules. We're we're bad boys, so to speak.

SPEAKER_02 2:33

Yeah, the bad boys, bad boys. That's what they call us.

Season Six Lake Photo Shoot

SPEAKER_00 2:37

I don't think anyone has ever described us as bad boys and or girls.

SPEAKER_02 2:41

No, I feel like people describe me as bad boys. Kind of the kind of a bad bad boys. Okay. We gotta go.

SPEAKER_00 2:47

You can't tell from that. Uh they never have. It's never happened.

SPEAKER_02 2:52

Hush.

SPEAKER_00 2:54

That's all right. That's all right. Well, while you shot the late collection, I hung a rack in the garage so I could finally Is that all you did today? It was the main thing I did today. I understand the main.

SPEAKER_02 3:02

Oh, did you sleep?

SPEAKER_00 3:03

Uh I tried to sleep. Oh the moment I tried to sleep, our son was like, hey dad, what's up?

SPEAKER_02 3:08

Cool, cool, cool, cool.

SPEAKER_00 3:10

Uh also our child care came later. So yeah, yeah. But it took way longer than I thought to get that hung in the garage.

SPEAKER_02 3:16

I didn't mean to sound like that's all you did today. That was not my point.

SPEAKER_00 3:20

Yeah, yeah. It did feel like you were like, I'm so sorry. Look at that.

SPEAKER_02 3:23

I was very impressed. I was more asking in the way of that took you all day. Like that's a lot of work.

SPEAKER_00 3:29

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 3:29

What do you what do you have to update the people on? How's your week been?

SPEAKER_00 3:33

Um, my week's been all right. The battery in my phone exploded almost literally.

SPEAKER_01 3:38

Oh. So I forgot.

SPEAKER_00 3:40

We record our angles on old phones, and I had to use one of our angle cameras for like a minute. For like three days. Well, it's supposed to be like a one-day deal. Like I've I got the battery sent to me. It was gonna be there the next day. And then as I was I've replaced phone batteries and screens and stuff, so well, and when you say the battery exploded almost, you like puffed up.

SPEAKER_02 4:04

The phone separated the screen, like from the side, the phone was split open.

SPEAKER_00 4:10

Yes, which made it easy to open up, actually. Sometimes you really have to work at getting that adhesive around the edges broken off, not not this way.

SPEAKER_02 4:17

Well, and when I asked about it, you said I'm trying to be careful because my phone could catch on fire. Yeah, you said that to me. And I I was not panicked, but I immediately was like, Oh, because you never say something's gonna like catch on fire or be dangerous.

SPEAKER_00 4:38

Uh yeah, that when they puff up, that's just a sign that the battery is not doing well. Well, maybe not about to explode, but the battery's could explode at any time. Uh sure. Like if you stop using it, then the risk is much lower. But yeah, that the cells are not functioning correctly and they're off gassing. So they're off-gassing? Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_02 5:02

Yeah, they create so the cell there are cells in the battery, yeah, and they exchange what? Uh or live what lives in there?

SPEAKER_00 5:12

What lithium?

SPEAKER_02 5:14

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 5:16

I don't remember. I I actually have taken classes on how batteries work, just as part of my formal education days. I never was that good at batteries, understanding batteries.

SPEAKER_02 5:26

Well, then I won't ask you to explain them to me. I will call one of your buddies.

SPEAKER_00 5:29

You're gonna make me feel dumb. Anybody that took that class and paid more attention, I guess.

SPEAKER_02 5:33

Okay, cool, cool, cool.

SPEAKER_00 5:34

Yeah, there's a cathode, there's an anode.

SPEAKER_02 5:36

Okay, we've you've lost me.

SPEAKER_00 5:38

Yeah, a differential somehow, but I don't know.

The Phone Battery Almost Exploded

SPEAKER_02 5:41

Had an awesome Easter egg hunt for the grown-ups. That was pretty fun. That happened over the week. And we did kids' Easter egg hunt, and the kids got several Easter egg hunts in the last week. Yeah, they've been living their best life.

SPEAKER_00 5:54

Yeah, we had a grown-up Easter egg hunt that had cash and shooters and it was it was wild. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 6:01

But fun. It was kind of a mess.

SPEAKER_00 6:04

But the idea was floated that the guys should have to go run around on all fours.

SPEAKER_02 6:09

I really think that was a good idea. I liked it.

SPEAKER_00 6:12

I don't think most of us were built to bear crawl for that amount of distance. Yeah, that's people getting like rotator cuff tears. Well, not a rotator cuff, but the just your hips would just be completely shot.

SPEAKER_02 6:24

That makes sense.

SPEAKER_00 6:25

Yeah. And I feel like I would have been in the top end of people who could bear crawl, but it still would be.

SPEAKER_02 6:31

Okay, really. I'm gonna send just that to everybody that was there. Okay, well, just cut that.

SPEAKER_00 6:37

Just cut that. Like, cut it.

SPEAKER_02 6:38

I'm gonna I'm gonna no, I am.

SPEAKER_00 6:39

We're gonna end up, we're gonna end up challenging each other to bear crawling.

SPEAKER_02 6:42

Uh-huh. At the crawfish boil.

SPEAKER_00 6:44

Oh, God.

SPEAKER_02 6:45

We're gonna be at the crawfish boil if you're gonna be bear crawling.

SPEAKER_00 6:48

No, no, don't do that. Don't do that.

SPEAKER_02 6:53

I'm just kidding.

SPEAKER_00 6:54

Yeah. Oh, people will get so competitive.

SPEAKER_02 6:56

Yeah, it's a very competitive. Someone's gonna get hurt. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 6:59

Maybe not like it. I feel like you won't get a long-term injury. It'll just be painful in the moment.

SPEAKER_02 7:03

Hopefully not.

SPEAKER_00 7:04

Yeah, it's a test of wills at that point.

SPEAKER_02 7:07

You're competitive. You're really competitive. And watching you in the Easter egg hunt was really funny.

SPEAKER_00 7:12

Why?

SPEAKER_02 7:13

Because everybody else had an egg and you still had not found one.

SPEAKER_00 7:17

No, I didn't really rush out the gate, which I mean set me back.

SPEAKER_01 7:23

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 7:23

I did find like a couple eggs, and I was like, cool. I'm okay. If I didn't get any eggs, I was gonna feel embarrassed.

SPEAKER_02 7:30

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 7:30

But once I got a couple, I was like, great. A couple eggs.

SPEAKER_02 7:33

There weren't very many. There were only enough for people to have, you know, two, three, four.

SPEAKER_00 7:37

Yeah.

unknown 7:38

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 7:38

And I didn't want to look like I was trying too hard.

SPEAKER_02 7:40

So it was more of a look like I was trying too hard. Well, I felt weird participating since I was the one that stuffed all the eggs. I went home with the top prize, too.

SPEAKER_00 7:51

We did pretty good. We did pretty good. I only got two eggs, but we're gonna be able to do that. We both found a cold egg, didn't we?

SPEAKER_02 7:57

We did. That was really fun. Highly recommend doing an Easter egg hunt for the grown-ups, too. Our kids were so excited to watch the grown-ups do the Easter egg hunt.

SPEAKER_00 8:06

Yeah. Our daughter was directing the men and women, especially the ones that had to like look away while the other people hid. She was really running that show.

SPEAKER_01 8:16

I love that.

SPEAKER_00 8:17

There was a recommendation that we didn't do that would have been really smart and get like one dollar lottery tickets. And we could have just stuffed a bunch of them.

SPEAKER_01 8:27

Next year.

SPEAKER_00 8:27

Because it was a little tricky to find like small stuff for adults that made sense for like an Easter egg hunt.

SPEAKER_02 8:34

I agree.

SPEAKER_00 8:35

That wasn't just like cash.

SPEAKER_02 8:37

We did do some cash though.

SPEAKER_00 8:38

And that would be fun.

SPEAKER_02 8:39

That was popular.

SPEAKER_00 8:40

Because you could just get like 50 lottery tickets.

SPEAKER_02 8:43

Yeah, that would be really fun. I like that idea. Next year I'm putting that in my pocket. Yeah. What are you drinking today?

SPEAKER_00 8:49

I'm drinking a strawberry sunrise alani.

SPEAKER_02 8:52

At it's eight o'clock.

SPEAKER_00 8:54

Yeah.

unknown 8:55

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 8:55

All right.

SPEAKER_00 8:56

Gotta power this podcast.

SPEAKER_02 8:58

I have uh classic grape olipop because this was in the photo shoot today. That did not sound crispy at all. But the flavor's really good. I already drank one.

SPEAKER_00 9:11

The sound after the ending was pretty sloppy.

SPEAKER_02 9:13

Right? I am gonna guess it's not cold. No, it's not.

SPEAKER_00 9:17

Yeah. This isn't cold either.

SPEAKER_02 9:19

You know what it tastes like?

SPEAKER_00 9:20

What?

SPEAKER_02 9:20

Communion.

Adult Easter Egg Hunt Mayhem

SPEAKER_00 9:21

Never taking communion, so what? How is it why is that surprising?

SPEAKER_02 9:28

Because King James his whole life never took communion.

SPEAKER_00 9:33

That's not how we rolled.

SPEAKER_02 9:36

I'm I this is what Aaron asked me today, one of my friends, if I felt like I continued to learn new things about you, and if there were things about you I didn't know. And I was like, oh, there's so much I don't know about Matt.

SPEAKER_00 9:51

Like, I think I know less about him than I know. I know less than I do know. Yeah, I knew what you meant. Yeah, there was a sentence.

SPEAKER_02 9:57

You had it.

SPEAKER_00 9:58

I said it right, but it didn't sound good.

SPEAKER_02 9:59

Own it. No, it was good.

SPEAKER_00 10:01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 10:01

I that's fascinating.

SPEAKER_00 10:04

Yeah, I'm a fascinating guy.

SPEAKER_02 10:06

Well, here. This is what it tastes like. This is what communion tastes like, but it's in a teeny tiny little glass.

SPEAKER_00 10:12

Well, interesting. Interesting.

SPEAKER_02 10:16

Not into it?

SPEAKER_00 10:18

Not a huge I like it. I think it's the warmth of it. I'm not loving the warmth of the grape.

SPEAKER_02 10:24

Well, communion usually is warm, so yeah. I I that's honestly probably part of it. It's not even that it tastes no, it does taste like it. It's not a bad thing. Like I think it tastes good.

SPEAKER_00 10:33

It's got a solid grape flavor. It's got a tang on the end I don't love. And I think that's probably contributed to the fact that it's warm.

SPEAKER_02 10:42

Okay. I like it.

SPEAKER_00 10:43

It could be a little crisper if it was cold.

SPEAKER_02 10:45

I really like it.

SPEAKER_00 10:46

Yeah. I wish I had not have ended on that because I finished my drink. Oh, sorry. That's all right. No, I'll just taste the grapeness for a while. Taste the grapeness. That's a phrase, that's a slogan for something.

SPEAKER_02 10:59

I don't think so.

SPEAKER_00 11:00

Grape nuts? Taste the grape.

SPEAKER_02 11:03

I love grape nuts. Trademarked. That's an unpopular opinion of mine. Grape nuts? Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 11:08

I don't think that's unpopular. I feel like really I feel like more people than you think like grape nuts.

SPEAKER_02 11:13

No, but it's one of my favorites.

SPEAKER_00 11:15

Oh, I don't know.

SPEAKER_02 11:17

I feel like that's unpopular.

SPEAKER_00 11:19

I mean, my one of my favorites is cinnamon toast crunch, but I haven't had that in that's not unpopular. No, I don't think that's unpopular.

SPEAKER_02 11:26

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 11:26

It's also barely cereal. It's, I think, mostly it's closer to candy than I would guess than cereal.

SPEAKER_02 11:32

I haven't had cinnamon toast crunch in a really long time. I know that you I had never had it, and I know that you had it and I tried it, but other than that, I don't think I've ever really Really?

SPEAKER_00 11:42

I used to eat it, I mean, practically by the box in college.

unknown 11:46

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 11:46

I would fill up sound good to me.

SPEAKER_00 11:48

Really?

SPEAKER_02 11:49

Ooh, another ick.

SPEAKER_00 11:50

You love cinnamon toast.

SPEAKER_02 11:51

Another ick about Matt. Never taking communion, eats his cereal dry.

SPEAKER_00 11:58

I'm a dry cereal guy.

SPEAKER_02 12:01

I think that's freaky.

SPEAKER_00 12:02

I don't love milk. I don't like soggy cereal.

SPEAKER_02 12:06

I do.

SPEAKER_00 12:07

No, it it's not good.

SPEAKER_02 12:09

I like when there's still some crunch to it.

SPEAKER_00 12:12

Well, yeah, but now you're playing a timing game. I don't again, I don't like milk that much. I don't really like milk at all, uh, to be clear. So chasing a flavor I don't like, making nice, delicious, crunchy cereal soft. No. I even eat Captain Crun without milk.

SPEAKER_01 12:30

That's crazy.

SPEAKER_02 12:32

Which that will destroy your mouth like a merch.

SPEAKER_00 12:36

We do have to be careful with it because it's like all corners.

SPEAKER_02 12:39

No, I think Captain Crunch was truly sent to destroy mouths.

SPEAKER_00 12:43

And that's when you drink it with or eat it with milk. Yeah, no, I I was a dry Cabin Crunch guy.

SPEAKER_02 12:50

That's crazy.

SPEAKER_00 12:50

It's got a lot of crunch, I'll tell you that. It lives up to the name.

SPEAKER_02 12:54

He's the captain of Crunch, you know.

SPEAKER_00 12:56

Hate crunch berries, though.

SPEAKER_02 12:58

It's so interesting to me that you have tried all these cereals. Like, I well, one, the only cereals we had in our house growing up that we were allowed to have life, grape nuts, and raisin brand.

SPEAKER_00 13:11

Life is trash.

SPEAKER_02 13:12

I like life.

SPEAKER_00 13:13

Hate life. But sometimes first time I tried them when you gave, I was like, this is nothing.

SPEAKER_02 13:17

Sometimes we had honey nut Cheerios.

SPEAKER_00 13:19

But you're talking to a guy that had cinnamon dose crunch regularly.

SPEAKER_02 13:22

Yeah. I think once or twice my mom got Lucky Charms as a like surprise for me, like once or twice ever in my entire childhood. And I was like, this is it.

SPEAKER_00 13:31

This is crazy.

SPEAKER_02 13:33

This is the life. Yeah. But the idea of trying crunch berries, I thought those were just to decorate the aisle. Like, who's buying that?

SPEAKER_00 13:43

I can't believe that.

SPEAKER_02 13:44

Not from a health standpoint, to be clear.

SPEAKER_00 13:46

No. Aren't there like all crunch berry ones?

SPEAKER_02 13:50

I have no idea.

SPEAKER_00 13:50

That's disgusting.

SPEAKER_02 13:53

You talking to me like I would have any idea sending me.

SPEAKER_00 13:57

Sorry. Sorry. Sorry.

SPEAKER_02 13:58

Deep has deep knowledge of the cereal aisle.

SPEAKER_00 14:01

I love cereal, but I loved sugary cereal.

SPEAKER_02 14:05

Pregnant me loves cereal.

SPEAKER_00 14:06

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 14:07

I threw down on some uh fruit roll-ups during my pregnancy.

SPEAKER_00 14:11

That's not cereal. That's fruit.

SPEAKER_02 14:13

Fruit roll-ups. Fruit loops.

SPEAKER_00 14:15

Got it. Fruit loops, yes.

SPEAKER_02 14:17

Again, not firing on all cylinders today. I also uh ate a lot of fruit roll-ups, but fruit loops were a love of mine during my pregnancy. They're so good.

SPEAKER_00 14:31

Oh you know, I'd never eaten fruity pebbles until I'd had Fruit Loops a bunch of times. Never had Fruity Pebbles.

SPEAKER_02 14:37

Really?

SPEAKER_00 14:38

Wasn't aware that they were basically the same thing.

SPEAKER_02 14:40

They're not the same thing at all. What do you mean?

SPEAKER_00 14:42

They're really similar. What do you mean?

SPEAKER_02 14:44

What?

SPEAKER_00 14:45

I feel like it's just ground up Fruit Loops.

SPEAKER_02 14:47

Absolutely not. I just totally different texture, different flavor profile entirely.

SPEAKER_00 14:53

Flavor profile is crazy to me.

SPEAKER_02 14:55

They're just sugar. They're like they're all just fruit loops. This is so stupid.

People Who Accidentally Invent Things

SPEAKER_00 15:01

So stupid. I just I can't believe you don't think that Fruit Loops and Fruity Pebbles taste.

SPEAKER_02 15:08

You know, while we're at it, let's jump into Chronically Online because I don't think uh no. This is niche this week. This video isn't even really going that viral. But last night I was, you fell asleep. I'm laying in bed scrolling, and I had a kick ass scroll last night for like 10 minutes. I wasn't on very long, but every video that was sent to me, hysterical, I was laughing and but I was trying to be quiet because you were asleep next to me. And then this one popped up, and I opened the comment section and I was laughing out loud so hard that I woke you up. So that's my bad. It is a video of a guy talking about making a steak, and he's making it in a cast iron pan. And he thinks to himself while he's making it, he's like, oh man, how am I gonna eat this? It would be so like I can cut it up in the pan or I can put it on the cutting board. Oh, how awesome would it be if I had like a little cutting board that I could cut my sting on? And then he shows his plate, he goes, then I realized plate. I invented a plate. And the comment section is all the things that people have invented.

SPEAKER_00 16:22

Mentally reinvented. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 16:23

The top comment. I tried to Google virgin jello shot recipes. Turns out that's just jello. Somebody said, I invented books one time. I was listening to Audible and said, Man, I need subtitles. One time I was having a great time with a friend and I said, We should start a podcast, but like not record it. And she goes, So a conversation.

SPEAKER_00 16:49

We should just talk to each other, like a phone call. That's I think that's like a but not, I guess if you're in person, yeah, you're just talking to me. That's crazy.

SPEAKER_02 16:58

My friend and I were eating on a patio, and he said, This is nice, but I wish there was a wall here to block the wind, and maybe another wall on that side, and some shade would be nice. And I said, Hey, bud, do you want to go inside? This is we were eating off paper plates. I told my sister, someone should make these reusable.

SPEAKER_00 17:16

Oh man. I want to hear what other people if you've invented anything, hit us up. By the way, yeah, that's a reminder though. Voicemails, texts, all the stuff's in the description, but send us stuff. We love it.

SPEAKER_02 17:29

Okay. I'm gonna read, I'm gonna read three more and then please. But I I want you to think if you've ever done this. Okay, I invented flavorless popsicles. So when people are hot, they can eat it, but had not have calories. You can make them with water. So I invented ice. I thought of a wedding venue with rooms so everyone could have like a giant sleepover afterwards. Hotels. I created hotels. And then uh my electric toothbrush died, and I panicked as if I couldn't function without a normal toothbrush without turning it on. Okay, that's it. Goes on. There's like you could scroll for an hour reading them. They are hysterical.

SPEAKER_00 18:13

Oh man, I I know there's stuff that I've done this with, but I can't off the top. I've just forgotten this existed. I need to be prepped for this one. I feel like there's definitely sometimes I'm like trying to put together like a tool or something, and it turns out somebody's made a specific thing for it. That happens like semi-regularly. I've gotten good at just being like thing to do this thing and looking that up because rarely are you the first person to have tried that.

SPEAKER_02 18:43

I didn't have anything off the top. Yeah. Like I don't have anything. The jello shots one really got me. Virgin Jello Shots is a hysterical tape.

SPEAKER_00 18:53

If you just cook them too long, it'll usually cook off. Yeah, it'll be uh they're pretty close to virgin at that point. Yeah, the food ones are great when people are like, what about this food without this thing? And that's how it normally comes.

SPEAKER_02 19:05

I liked the popsicles too. I thought that was pretty funny.

SPEAKER_00 19:08

You could there are just low calorie popsicles too.

SPEAKER_02 19:12

But inventing ice is so cool.

SPEAKER_00 19:14

Yeah, that is good. You can just put lemon lemon juice in there. That's basically what we make our popsicles.

SPEAKER_02 19:20

I don't even like making my own popsicles though, because I really do think what brand is it that we get?

SPEAKER_00 19:25

Outshine.

SPEAKER_02 19:26

Outshine. The outshine one slap. They are so good. They are really good. And uh, every time I make a popsicle or eat a different brand of popsicle, I'm like, man, I wish this was an outshine popsicle. Outshine, call me. They're so good.

SPEAKER_00 19:42

They are really good.

SPEAKER_02 19:42

I don't know why anybody gets anything different, honestly.

SPEAKER_00 19:46

I feel like they're kind of wasted on kids, though. Kids will eat any popsicle anywhere.

SPEAKER_02 19:50

That's true, and our kids are so funny because they like to eat them in the same spot. Like if you hand them a popsicle, they will walk outside and go to their popsicle eating place.

SPEAKER_00 20:00

They do. I forget that. But yeah, they have they're like, this is my safe place for popsicles.

SPEAKER_02 20:05

Yeah, and I like that.

SPEAKER_00 20:06

Yeah, I like that it's outside.

SPEAKER_02 20:08

I think that I'll have memories. Well, I like it because I think as I get older, I will always remember that was the spot that they came to eat popsicles.

SPEAKER_00 20:16

That's really cute.

SPEAKER_02 20:17

Sentimental.

SPEAKER_00 20:18

Yeah. You're a very sentimental person.

SPEAKER_02 20:21

I'm I don't know. So maybe I'm not sentimental as much as I am nostalgic. Are they different?

SPEAKER_00 20:28

I mean, I know they're different. I don't know what it is.

SPEAKER_02 20:32

Okay. I'm probably both. I uh yeah, I like connecting things.

SPEAKER_00 20:38

Yeah. Is maybe maybe nostalgic is like it has to be like a bygone thing. I think sentimental can be like present, more present.

SPEAKER_02 20:48

Yeah. Then I'm both.

SPEAKER_00 20:49

Yeah. You you are like pre-nostalgic. You're like, this will be nostalgic for me. So that's probably sentimental.

SPEAKER_01 20:57

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 20:57

But you're very conscious of that.

SPEAKER_02 21:00

You're not at all.

SPEAKER_00 21:00

Well, that's because I have no sense of time.

SPEAKER_02 21:03

That's that's really true.

SPEAKER_00 21:04

I'm not like, what will future me be doing? I'm like, good God, I can't manage current me.

SPEAKER_02 21:09

That is a really interesting thing about you. And something that I thought about today, as I was on my way home from the photo shoot, and you said, Oh no, I knew you would be home at this time, because I thought it was about an hour later than I thought I was gonna be.

SPEAKER_04 21:22

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 21:23

And you were like, no, you're right when I thought you were gonna be. I can't believe you thought it was gonna take less time than that. And I usually am pretty spot on with time, except for photo shoots and things like that. I'm usually I cut too short.

SPEAKER_00 21:40

You get aggressive. I'd say anytime you're with friends or people.

SPEAKER_02 21:44

I really want to do more than I can.

SPEAKER_00 21:46

Yeah. You hang, I would say on average, 45 minutes to an hour longer than you say.

SPEAKER_04 21:52

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 21:52

Which is what I build into my mental, my mental calculus. Just like, I'm gonna leave at eight o'clock. And I'm like, she's gonna leave. Leave at 9 to 9.15.

SPEAKER_03 22:01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 22:02

Depending on what it is. And if it's there's no pressure and it's like after bedtime, I'm like, it could be two and a half hours later. I might not see her until like I'm asleep.

SPEAKER_02 22:10

I'll let you know.

SPEAKER_00 22:11

Sometimes, most of the time. A lot of times you'll let me know like an hour, like once that time has already hit. You're like, I've gotten caught up.

SPEAKER_02 22:19

When I know that I've gone past built-in time.

SPEAKER_00 22:22

I told him that I was gonna leave an hour and a half ago. I'm gonna hit him up and let him know I'm not leaving now.

SPEAKER_02 22:28

And that it's gonna be I love to shut down a no, absolutely.

SPEAKER_00 22:31

I get that. I mean, go big, not cool, not not bad boys, but we we party.

SPEAKER_02 22:36

Oh, we bad boys.

SPEAKER_00 22:38

Oh, we bad boys.

SPEAKER_02 22:40

Oh you know, you married me.

SPEAKER_00 22:43

I know I did. I enjoy it. It's you again, you bring a lot of whibsy to my life.

SPEAKER_02 22:48

Oh.

SPEAKER_00 22:49

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 22:49

Tell me more nice things.

SPEAKER_00 22:51

More nice things? You also make me nicer. Oh you've made me like much less judgmental of people.

SPEAKER_02 22:57

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 22:58

For sure.

SPEAKER_02 22:58

That's not what I thought you were gonna say. I'm not trying to do that.

SPEAKER_00 23:00

Not judgmental, just like you have made me much more generous in my interpretations. You you did a lot of work in terms of like, hey, it could be just a really bad day for them. I'm like, that's a good point.

SPEAKER_02 23:12

I always assume the best of people, and you do to a fault. It's not, but I think my life's better for it.

SPEAKER_00 23:18

Totally. I've I've witnessed that. And I'm like, that seems like a better way to go.

SPEAKER_02 23:22

Because really, your life is just the stories you tell yourself about other people.

SPEAKER_00 23:26

That's true. Yeah, you can gaslight yourself into like a much better experience.

SPEAKER_02 23:30

Well, I think a lot of people gaslight themselves into a much worse experience. 100%. I think that's really common.

SPEAKER_00 23:35

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 23:36

And I think my mom is the queen of this. She really could positive.

SPEAKER_00 23:40

You're you're saying the queen of positive. The positive, yeah. Yeah, you started it right after talking about how negative. I'm sorry. No, no, no.

SPEAKER_02 23:46

Yeah, that sounds like my mom's maybe the least negative person I have ever met, but she's not toxic.

SPEAKER_00 23:52

No, it's not toxic positivity. Although I would argue there's some denial of negativity.

SPEAKER_02 23:58

Totally. Yeah. I would I would agree with that.

SPEAKER_00 24:00

There's a balance. You should at least, but she's for sure.

SPEAKER_02 24:03

You know how a lot of people do the toxic thing where you're not allowed to be in your feelings.

SPEAKER_00 24:10

Yeah, I think a lot of times what it ends up being is like a denial of sadness or a denial of like a negative experience, and she doesn't do that.

SPEAKER_02 24:18

No, not at all. I don't know. I really value that. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 24:20

If you're gonna be delusional, don't deny people's negative experiences. I think that's the the rule of thumb.

SPEAKER_02 24:26

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 24:26

Just acknowledge it and be like, we can work on it.

SPEAKER_02 24:28

Or I think I really am delusional though.

SPEAKER_00 24:31

How so?

SPEAKER_02 24:32

I just feel like I always think things are gonna work out. Not think, I always know things are gonna work out.

SPEAKER_00 24:43

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 24:43

I don't ever feel like, oh, I think it'll work out. I'm like, I know it's gonna work out.

SPEAKER_00 24:47

Okay. Do you have examples or anything?

SPEAKER_01 24:50

Um, yeah. Buying this house.

SPEAKER_00 24:53

Oh, gotcha. Yeah. That you're you can calculate a risk though. You're not a risk taker in terms of like outrageous risks.

SPEAKER_02 25:03

I think you really No, but I do think that you and me are superpower in terms of friendships and being a part of a group of people, is that it does not matter the scenario. Like we could be on our way somewhere, our flight got canceled, so we had to rent a car, and we're gonna be in a car without air conditioning for the next 10 hours, and it we get a flat tire and it breaks down. You and I are gonna be on the side of the road still cracking jokes, and like yeah, we're not like, oh my gosh, the world hates us. We're like, haha, this will be a funny story later.

SPEAKER_00 25:35

Yeah, that's true. We we will power through, especially if it if there's any peer pressure in there.

SPEAKER_02 25:41

We can keep a good attitude going.

SPEAKER_00 25:43

I do love to bitch in the moment though.

SPEAKER_02 25:45

But you don't it it's different though, because I don't feel there's a difference between somebody that is complaining and makes everybody around them miserable because of it. Do you know what I mean? Like they're like, oh, my life's so hard that we're here and I hate this, and yeah, why isn't everybody else feeling like I'm feeling? Do you know what I'm talking about?

SPEAKER_00 26:09

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. I don't, my goal is never to make anyone else feel negative. All you do is I just like to complain.

SPEAKER_02 26:15

Yeah, but it's you're cracking jokes.

Working Out While Hating It

SPEAKER_00 26:19

Yeah, yeah. Unless it gets really bad. I talk about this with working out. I like to work out like as hard as I possibly can, but I like to complain about how hard it is. I just need an outlet to be like, this fucking sucks. And I will do it, but I just want to say it up front and be like, this is terrible.

SPEAKER_02 26:40

Again, I think you say you're complaining, you're always doing it as a joke.

SPEAKER_00 26:45

That's true.

SPEAKER_02 26:46

Not that you're I'm not saying that it is a joke to you, but your delivery is always, oh man, this sucks.

SPEAKER_00 26:52

Like it's a hundred percent, yeah. There, that's true. It's almost always like to the person leading the class. I'm like, I hate what you've done here. And then I'll do it as hard as I possibly can. And one of the classes I go to is like mostly women, and they it's like their regular time, and they're big on complaining. And they're like, I bet you hate this class. I was like, no, I actually really enjoy you guys complaining.

SPEAKER_02 27:12

I don't like working out.

SPEAKER_00 27:13

You hate it.

SPEAKER_02 27:14

Even when I'm working out, because you know how they're like, once I'm there, I feel so good. I'm so glad I did it. No, I've never felt like that. I go and I'm like, man, I didn't like that the entire time.

SPEAKER_00 27:24

That's crazy to me.

SPEAKER_02 27:26

I I hate it.

SPEAKER_00 27:27

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 27:27

And what I will say is I really value it. I I mean, I lift weights three to four times a week. Not anything crazy. Yeah. But I really value strength and taking care of my body so it works and does the things. But there's never been a time that I'm like, I am loving this.

SPEAKER_00 27:48

I hate it. That's true. That's wild to me.

SPEAKER_02 27:50

It's never, I don't know. There's something wrong with me.

SPEAKER_00 27:53

It's like one of the few things like that will just automatically make me feel better. And for you, you're like, nope, I hated it the whole time. I hated it after. But you do have you have a much better perspective of like it will make me better, and it's good that I did it.

SPEAKER_02 28:06

Well, and I think that's kind of life.

SPEAKER_00 28:07

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 28:08

Is you have to be dedicated to some things that you may not enjoy because you value them. Like you value what it adds to your life.

SPEAKER_00 28:16

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 28:16

Bad dad mean mom.

SPEAKER_00 28:18

Bad dad mean dad.

SPEAKER_02 28:19

I have one to share.

SPEAKER_00 28:20

Okay. Fire.

SPEAKER_02 28:21

Bad dad.

SPEAKER_00 28:22

Oh, okay. Okay.

SPEAKER_02 28:24

I got a cookie cake for our son for his birthday.

SPEAKER_00 28:28

Oh, yeah. And this is this is a while ago. This is a throwback.

SPEAKER_02 28:31

Each child got one piece of cookie cake. Mom and dad got a piece of cookie cake. And then the kid said, Can we have more cookie cake tomorrow? And I said, Of course, children, you can have more cookie cake tomorrow. But we can only have one piece tonight because that's a lot of sugar. And uh we went to bed, got up in the morning. Oh no, where did the cookie cake go? The double layer massive. No, it was a single layer.

SPEAKER_00 29:01

This was a single, this was a much more a double layer would have I would have eaten it anyway, but like I would be you would have felt I would have been unwell.

SPEAKER_02 29:09

Well, I I look at Matt and I go, what happened to the cookie cake? And you go, Well, I finished it. I said, Excuse me, there was like seven eighths of a cookie cake left.

SPEAKER_00 29:22

Okay, so I have a bit of a binge eating problem. It's uh it's just unfortunately uh my reality. And yes, I did do that. I did go buy more pieces of cookie cake for them to have because I felt really bad.

SPEAKER_02 29:39

But yeah, and I tried, I was not trying to, I was genuinely asking where it went.

SPEAKER_00 29:43

No, no, yeah, you weren't trying to expose me.

SPEAKER_02 29:45

No, and I felt bad because I could tell you felt it was not a good so now I feel kind of bad for bringing it up as bad now.

SPEAKER_00 29:53

No, no, no, no, that's okay. That was true. That was we had a we did over this current weekend have not not necessarily a bad dad or mean mom. We had like bad adults in our kids' lives. Uh the grandparents, the granddads uh were playing with our son. It's a slammer, it's like a stretch arm storm.

SPEAKER_02 30:14

It was a brand new uh stretchy toy that he'd just gotten.

SPEAKER_00 30:18

Yeah, that he got Easter from the Easter bunny. And uh the the grandfathers got a little aggressive with it and it exploded and the arm ripped off, and there was sand everywhere. It's filled with ultra fine sand if you haven't broken one open before. He handled it pretty well, but they did immediately break it.

SPEAKER_02 30:38

Everybody was pretty upset for a second there.

SPEAKER_00 30:40

It was not ideal for our brand new Easter money toy to be ripped in half. Frankly, I feel like with that toy, that was gonna happen at some point.

SPEAKER_02 30:49

Really?

SPEAKER_00 30:50

At some point, I feel like they would have pushed the limits.

SPEAKER_02 30:53

I don't think so because I don't think the kids were strong enough to pull it that hard.

SPEAKER_00 30:57

Maybe that might be true.

SPEAKER_02 30:58

That's why when I was initially told that R had broken it, that kind of confused me.

SPEAKER_00 31:04

Yeah, he did get thrown under the bus. He did by one of the grandparent figures.

SPEAKER_02 31:09

So yeah, and I don't, I don't maybe, but he might have been holding one side of it, but maybe, but I don't even think I don't know.

SPEAKER_00 31:18

Yeah. Anyway, we didn't witness it, but it was in the care of uh a grandparent that the arm ripped off. And they felt bad. They felt really bad.

SPEAKER_02 31:29

It was not a big deal.

SPEAKER_00 31:30

No, but you had a really good week. It was a good week.

SPEAKER_02 31:33

Like perfect week.

SPEAKER_00 31:34

Perfect week, perfect parents. Okay, word of the week.

SPEAKER_02 31:38

Word of the week.

SPEAKER_00 31:41

Wow, you didn't okay, got it. Word of the week, filial. It's an adjective.

SPEAKER_02 31:46

Filial. F-I-L-L-I-A-L.

SPEAKER_00 31:49

F-I-L-I-A-L. One L in the middle. Filial. The first definition is designating the generation following the parental generation. So like it's the kids.

SPEAKER_02 32:01

Like yeah, like a filly.

SPEAKER_00 32:04

But not spelling. Yeah, kind of. Sure, sure. If that helps you. Uh in many cases, there's an underlying sense of filial duty. So like of the responsibility of the children. It's it's an adjective describing something that relates to children.

SPEAKER_02 32:23

Yeah, I'm never gonna use that. I'm not really understanding at all.

SPEAKER_00 32:26

Here's a better definition. Describes the duties, feelings, or relationship of a child, son or daughter, towards their parents, often implying respect, duty, or love.

SPEAKER_02 32:34

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 32:35

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 32:35

That's better that that makes more sense to me. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 32:38

That I think shows the usage a little better.

SPEAKER_02 32:41

I don't see that one being I use that much, but yeah, I think it's a little formal. Thanks for bringing it to me. Yeah. Uh maybe if somebody else uses it now, I will know. I actually saw a word of ours in a book. It's like a emotion way somebody expresses something.

SPEAKER_00 32:58

Oh man, what have we done? Sh we've only done 10 episodes of this one.

SPEAKER_02 33:03

Shagrin. Chagrin.

SPEAKER_00 33:06

Really? Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 33:06

I saw chagrin in a book this week. And I or yeah, this week. And I thought, huh, I know what that means.

SPEAKER_00 33:13

Yeah, you once pronounced it chagrin, if I remember.

SPEAKER_01 33:17

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 33:18

Oh, goodness gracious. All right.

SPEAKER_01 33:20

Some voicemails.

SPEAKER_00 33:21

Yeah, surely people have heard us long enough.

SPEAKER_01 33:23

Emails, some text messages.

Listener Question On Adding Whimsy

SPEAKER_00 33:26

Yeah. Ooh, this has a nice little uh tie-in. Hi, Joe and Matt. You mentioned whimsy on the podcast and asked people to send in messages. So here's mine. I love the idea of adding whimsy or romanticizing your life. I'm an anxious girly, and I often have to remind myself that I'm not in a race and most things are not an emergency. This makes it hard for me to rest and take time to smell the roses, if you will. What are your favorite ways to add whimsy into your lives? What are some things you've seen other people do? Thanks so much.

SPEAKER_02 33:52

One of my friends this week ordered a sticker thing that goes on the sunroof of her car that makes it look like stained glass.

SPEAKER_00 34:03

That's a great example.

SPEAKER_02 34:05

When I saw that, I was like, yeah, that's whimsical as hell.

SPEAKER_00 34:08

I mainly just try to like follow our kids' lead. That's because kids are just full of whimsy. They're all whimsy. And so they're my whimsy training wheels, if you will.

SPEAKER_02 34:17

Yeah, I find that I do a lot of whimsy in the garden.

SPEAKER_00 34:21

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 34:21

And I uh want to do some little fairy houses.

SPEAKER_00 34:25

You yeah, you definitely have a romanticized, you have a vision for how things are trained.

SPEAKER_02 34:29

I don't think I have trouble stopping and smelling the roses.

SPEAKER_00 34:32

No, not if it's actual roses for sure.

SPEAKER_02 34:34

Well, I, you know, you love yourself some roses. Well, not roses, but figurative roses.

SPEAKER_00 34:39

Sure.

SPEAKER_02 34:40

I really like to slow down, and I think the best way to practice that, because I was not always good at it. I used to be go, go, go, go, go, and not good at slowing down and just being in the moment. And I feel like scheduling a part of your day where you slow down every day. So for me, mornings are my slower paced thing.

SPEAKER_04 35:03

Sure.

SPEAKER_02 35:04

And everything else through the day is much more scheduled, but I do take a period of time that it's just slow. And that's almost every day. And I feel like that taught me how to do that throughout my life more.

SPEAKER_00 35:17

Oh, that makes sense. I've never done that. I'm not good at that. But I don't feel productive. I feel like I'm falling behind.

SPEAKER_02 35:25

You are really exceptional in the way that you can push through and get things done for an excruciating amount of time.

SPEAKER_00 35:32

That's true.

SPEAKER_02 35:33

And I that will always blow me away.

SPEAKER_00 35:36

Yeah. I will suffer for as long as I have to.

SPEAKER_02 35:40

To just do it in one sitting.

SPEAKER_00 35:41

Yeah, if it means I get it done, because I know the chances that I get back to something are not good.

SPEAKER_02 35:47

You don't. And that's closing loops. I think that's a big part of your stressors, is you never complete the loop.

SPEAKER_00 35:54

Or I have to like do an extraordinary amount in one loop.

SPEAKER_02 35:58

And open loops are really like you don't believe in open loops.

SPEAKER_00 36:04

That's because I'm so bad at closing them. An open loop is just something that I didn't get done.

SPEAKER_02 36:08

Because to me, laundry is an open loop. Like it never closes because it's always there.

SPEAKER_00 36:13

That's how it feels. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 36:15

But it's not just how it feels, it's how it is. That that's the reality of life.

SPEAKER_00 36:19

Until our clothes are self-cleaned.

SPEAKER_02 36:21

Like dishes. Dishes are an open loop in some regard.

SPEAKER_00 36:25

Yeah.

unknown 36:26

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 36:26

The problem with clothes is we have too many clothes. I need to limit myself. That's my problem.

SPEAKER_02 36:31

That might maybe that's what we try next. We get three weeks of the closet. Everybody let us know if you'd like to see Matt do an experiment where he packs up all of his clothes other than one week worth of clothing. And we'll see if you do laundry more.

SPEAKER_00 36:44

It's like meal prepping my clothes.

SPEAKER_02 36:46

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 36:47

Interesting. It's not a terrible idea. I the day I have to decide on my clothes is gonna cause me so much anxiety.

SPEAKER_02 36:54

But you don't have to actually get rid of them. We could just box them up.

SPEAKER_00 36:57

Oh, like we're putting them away away.

SPEAKER_02 36:59

Yeah. They have to be. For you to do that well, it would have to be like you need to see 12 things hanging in your closet. And I actually think that you would love that.

SPEAKER_00 37:09

That's probably true. We would just have we could even put them like in drawers. Or if I like had to get to it, I could. But if it was like fo you know, I don't get into drawers.

SPEAKER_02 37:19

I know, which is why it's a waste of drawer space.

SPEAKER_00 37:22

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 37:22

I could use the drawers for my things that I get to and put away and use.

SPEAKER_00 37:27

I barely have object permanence.

SPEAKER_02 37:29

I know.

SPEAKER_00 37:30

It's a real ADHD issue.

SPEAKER_02 37:32

Yeah, you're not wrong about that.

SPEAKER_00 37:33

Yeah, yeah. That's why the counter is.

SPEAKER_02 37:36

I like the strategy. I think this could be whimsical, really.

SPEAKER_00 37:39

Okay. I don't know if it's whimsical, but it's probably practical.

SPEAKER_02 37:42

No, I think it's whimsical to see a closet with only a handful of things in there.

SPEAKER_00 37:45

Okay. Is this what I get back into content doing?

SPEAKER_02 37:48

Yeah, that would be good. Yeah. I like really a good system. I like it. Next voicemail.

SPEAKER_00 37:52

Next voicemail.

SPEAKER_02 37:53

Let's not panic on that too much.

SPEAKER_00 37:55

I'm so stressed about it already.

SPEAKER_02 37:58

Hi, Joe and Matt. I'm a longtime follower from the COVID days and even a middle ground listener too. You guys are some of my favorite people to watch and listen to, and I just love how real and genuine and honest you are about everything. Oh, thank you. Matt, please get back on the social media grind. Good. I'm looking for some advice or just peace of mind that I'm not crazy for feeling this way. Me and my boyfriend have been dating for almost two years and are talking about moving in together. Our relationship is great, and I definitely see myself marrying him. In terms of our relationship, I 100% feel ready to take that next step into our future. The kicker is that we actually both own a home. We both bought houses relatively young in the last two to three years, which is amazing, don't get me wrong.

SPEAKER_03 38:39

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 38:39

So now that we want to move in together, one of us will have to sell andor rent out our place. Based on logistics, it does make more sense to live in his house. It has way more space for all of our stuff and is it closer to our friends in downtown area? Despite this, I'm having trouble with the idea of leaving the home I bought. And for some reason, I feel a little petty about it. I'm worried that if I make this move, I'll feel resentful towards my boyfriend, even though he hasn't done anything wrong. And this is just the most logical next step in our future. I was just so proud of myself for working so hard and making this purchase and investment for myself. And I'm having a hard time leaving that behind. But at the same time, I feel ready to take the next step. I actually have feelings about this.

SPEAKER_04 39:19

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 39:20

When Matt and I moved in together to our first house, I had already lived there for over a year. It was really hard for you because you thought of it as my house.

SPEAKER_00 39:32

That's true. Yeah. And I probably took better care of it because I thought it was your house.

SPEAKER_02 39:37

But I read that message and thinking to myself, ooh, that could be kind of tough. And something that I may present, unless it is your dream home situation, which it doesn't sound like it is, it's just a little more convenient, is maybe considering setting a time limit of how long you're planning to be in that house. And then if you decide to take your relationship to the next thing, purchasing a home together.

SPEAKER_00 40:03

Yeah. I mean, I think that's probably a good it it also sounds like you've like you're currently managing you both are paying for your homes.

unknown 40:11

Uh-uh.

SPEAKER_00 40:12

So you can continue to pay for the home. Like maybe you have friends that would rent your house or something like that. If you have someone in your circle that you could do that with, that it would be less stressful to have a a more traditional landlord tenant situation. Um you could do something like that, but you can also just maintain your home as it is now. And like that's not out of the question. You had you don't have to, as much as it does make sense to go down to one, you don't have to let it go right away. And you could do that for a period of months and feel out how it goes and just be like, yeah, it's not working for me, or we need to change these things, or I would like to make a plan going forward of when we do this together, or how to manage that space. Because you're you are absolutely right that there is a dynamic of and you would have handled it better than I would if you'd have moved into a space that I was living in. But it was hard for me to move into somewhere and not feel like, oh, this is her setup and like this is how it works, and I don't want to make waves and change that. And it just didn't feel like I didn't feel uncomfortable in it.

SPEAKER_02 41:18

It was just I don't know if that's true.

SPEAKER_00 41:21

Oh, okay.

SPEAKER_02 41:23

I uh not to tell you how you were feeling, I'm not attempting to correct you, and I am correcting you, I guess.

SPEAKER_00 41:29

I'm not attempting to, I'm doing it.

SPEAKER_02 41:31

I'm doing it. I uh think you didn't want to feel uncomfortable. Yeah, and you didn't want me to feel like I was making you uncomfortable.

SPEAKER_00 41:41

That's probably fair. Like, I I was definitely of the mind like this isn't a you problem, but I do struggle with feeling natural, doing the things that I want to do or the way I would do them in your space, even though it's our space.

SPEAKER_02 41:57

Moving in together is a big adjustment. It's yeah, hard and it's also good. I think that you learn a lot about one another, but it takes a lot of time to find the groove and figure out what it's like.

SPEAKER_00 42:12

Yeah, it will expose a lot of how you work together, uh, positive and negative. Yeah, don't let that house go right away. It could really change things.

SPEAKER_02 42:21

I also would want to keep my house and rent it because not it sounds like you're committed and all of that. I'm not wishing anything upon you.

SPEAKER_04 42:30

Totally.

SPEAKER_02 42:31

I do think about when moving in together and you're not engaged or you're not married. Not that anybody can't break up at any time or get divorced at any time. The sharing assets when you're just dating, like the legal implications of that sometimes can get a little screwy.

SPEAKER_00 42:48

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 42:48

And so having your place that you still own.

SPEAKER_00 42:51

You're clearly already paying for both households. Your money's not going down the drain.

SPEAKER_01 42:56

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 42:57

So good luck to you. You got this. Uh, but hold on to your house for a bit.

Mr Pibb And Breakfast Soda Debate

SPEAKER_01 43:01

Yeah. Let's read one more.

SPEAKER_00 43:02

This is just a note from somebody. I think Mr. Pib is a Waffle House thing. Like you ask for Dr. Pepper, but they will always say we have Mr. Pib instead. I love listening to the pod.

SPEAKER_02 43:11

And they're right for that.

unknown 43:12

Are they?

SPEAKER_00 43:12

Waffle House. I wonder if that's regional. I feel like that might just be regional.

SPEAKER_02 43:16

Maybe we should go to Waffle House and find out.

SPEAKER_00 43:17

I wasn't gonna say I haven't been to a Waffle House in a minute. But if all Waffle Houses have Mr. Pib, you're about to be eating a Waffle House.

SPEAKER_02 43:22

I love Waffle House.

SPEAKER_00 43:23

Waffle House is good.

SPEAKER_02 43:24

But I don't want a Mr. I don't want soda with my Waffle House.

SPEAKER_00 43:28

That's fair.

SPEAKER_02 43:29

I'm not a breakfast soda girl.

SPEAKER_00 43:31

Yeah, that does feel crazy.

SPEAKER_02 43:33

You do that all the time.

unknown 43:34

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 43:35

A breakfast soda? I guess not when I feel like not when I go somewhere.

SPEAKER_02 43:38

Not when you're eating.

SPEAKER_00 43:39

When I go for breakfast, I'm not ordering a soda.

SPEAKER_02 43:42

But in the morning, you'll like crack a diet.

SPEAKER_00 43:44

Yeah, I'm just trying to get caffeine in whatever form I can.

SPEAKER_02 43:47

It's crazy.

SPEAKER_00 43:48

Yeah. Fair enough. Fair enough.

SPEAKER_02 43:51

I know lots of people do it, but for some reason my brain, and I don't know why drinking it in the morning would be any different than drinking it at night.

unknown 43:59

So

SPEAKER_00 44:00

That's like why do you eat breakfast foods in the morning and not you can eat them at night, but it's a thing.

SPEAKER_01 44:05

Yeah.

When To Tell People You’re Pregnant

SPEAKER_00 44:06

Like there are foods that feel like breakfast, and there's foods that don't feel like breakfast. Totally. When did you tell your family and friends you were expecting each of your kids? How did you decide? First time expecting mom, and so many things to consider.

SPEAKER_02 44:16

I am the worst secret keeper of all time. And I know people are gonna listen to this and go, Joe, you hid your entire second pregnancy. Yeah. No, I didn't from people everyone we knew in real life.

SPEAKER_00 44:28

Yeah, absolutely, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 44:29

Knew. And tons of people where we live saw me out and pregnant and whatever. I'm just not important enough that anybody was like trying to expose me. Because no one cared.

unknown 44:40

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 44:40

You know?

SPEAKER_00 44:41

That's true.

SPEAKER_02 44:42

I'm not, I'm not a big secret keeper.

SPEAKER_00 44:44

Yeah, you you do live by the philosophy of like, if I keep no secrets, I don't have to maintain that.

SPEAKER_02 44:50

I don't like to do that.

SPEAKER_00 44:52

You don't have to lie if you just always tell the truth.

SPEAKER_02 44:57

Like if they share something with me that is not public or totally not public, but like not for other ears.

SPEAKER_00 45:04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 45:05

I'm good about that. Because I just don't bring it up.

SPEAKER_00 45:07

Yeah, you don't feel the need to share pretty much. Other types of information. Yeah. I'm I'm the ideal secret keeper, really. You are.

SPEAKER_02 45:14

You're an incredible secret keeper.

SPEAKER_00 45:16

Yeah, I'll just file it away and then, but I won't, it won't come up for me. And even if it does, I'm like, well, that's not mine to share.

SPEAKER_02 45:23

I think we told all of our family pretty quickly.

SPEAKER_00 45:27

Like friends and peers, you told pretty like your close friends.

SPEAKER_02 45:31

My thought with all of it, I've never really understood the keeping it to yourself. I and it depends on who you are and your personality. But my thought is always if we have a miscarriage or something goes wrong, yeah, these are all the people I'm also gonna tell. And so while things are good, I want to celebrate that with the people I love. And that's just kind of and I understand. I think you need to figure out what feels most comfortable to you. If there are people in your life that you would not want to discuss that with in real time, or you wouldn't want to have to inform of things, then I, you know, you might need to be more mindful about who you share with.

SPEAKER_00 46:21

I think that's a great rubric though, in terms of like if something doesn't go the way you want it to, who would you want to know about that as well? We actually have another text that's asking one to tell people. And I think again, I think a lot of this comes from like when do you share online?

SPEAKER_02 46:42

No, it's been etiquette for a really like it is an etiquette for a long time since before the internet.

SPEAKER_00 46:48

I guess that's true.

SPEAKER_02 46:49

I think also people found out a lot later then, too. Yeah, and so that's another hard piece is a lot of people are learning it five weeks, six weeks pregnant, yeah, now instead of eight to ten weeks.

SPEAKER_00 47:04

And you can like you then know sex of the baby much earlier.

SPEAKER_02 47:07

Really early, you just have a lot more information a lot earlier. And I have mixed feelings about that as a whole. I think that the really good rule of thumb is any time that feels good to you, and making sure that whoever you're telling is somebody that you feel comfortable talking to in any pregnancy situation, it's not up to the man in your life. It is up to the pregnant person.

SPEAKER_00 47:35

Totally. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 47:36

Every time, in my opinion. I don't think that you should even have to consider somebody else's opinion. I understand that it's both of your child, yeah. But when you are pregnant and it is your home hormones, your mental health, your physical health, your body, your feelings, your like I just think that your opinion and your comfort is the number one priority no matter what.

SPEAKER_00 48:06

Yeah, even if like even if they are very close with their parents and wanted to like work it out. You need to like you need to come to an agreement on it.

SPEAKER_02 48:14

It's really not and the agreement is whatever you say.

SPEAKER_00 48:18

Yes, yeah. I'm I'm yeah, I'm with you. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 48:22

I feel strongly about that.

SPEAKER_00 48:23

I know you do. That's and that's valid. I think that's fair.

SPEAKER_02 48:26

Like that's a a non-negotiable for me. Not that I don't think we ever really had a disagreement in that regard.

SPEAKER_00 48:32

No, not really. But that's been that's my general philosophy on pregnancy in general. Is like you're doing the hardest, most intensive. I mean, it's not even close. Like, I'm just living like with someone who's pregnant.

SPEAKER_01 48:46

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 48:47

Your experience.

SPEAKER_01 48:48

Which is a job.

SPEAKER_00 48:49

It it definitely is not the same as living someone not pregnant, but um it's not even in the same stratosphere in terms of what's going on with me.

SPEAKER_02 49:00

Yeah, it doesn't change your body irreversibly.

Pregnancy Resources And What Actually Helps

SPEAKER_00 49:04

The only reason it affects me is because it's affecting you. The second person who asked also had a question in terms of are there any pregnancy parenting resources you really recommend? I'm open to podcasts, specific experts, books, just trying to gather all the good information.

SPEAKER_02 49:17

Oh, I'm trying to remember. I haven't read books since like parenting books and pregnancy books since my first pregnancy. I really liked the expecting better, which is all about taking research and comparing it with pregnancy myths and things that we're told we're supposed to do. So, like not eating deli meat. Why do they say that? What are your chances of getting listeria? And should you be avoiding deli meat or should you be avoiding lettuce, really? Anyway, I I thought that that was really helpful and gave me a lot of peace of mind because I felt like I was getting to read a lot of the information, like really understand some research and stuff that's been done about pregnancy.

SPEAKER_00 50:02

That makes a lot of sense. Like, that's really smart to have a resource that can guide you in terms of this is why people say what it is, and can you apply that to your life with more knowledge rather than just people telling you like you can't eat shellfish, you can't eat deli meat.

SPEAKER_02 50:17

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 50:17

Can you quantify and explain why that's relevant?

SPEAKER_02 50:20

And then I read a couple books that were about raising emotionally regulated children. I can't remember any of the names of them though. Um I don't think I have anything that super stands out as this is one you have to read.

SPEAKER_00 50:34

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 50:34

I honestly think for me, I put a lot of focus into therapy for myself and trying to get myself into as sound of a place as I could. Because I think something nobody talks about with becoming a parent is it completely shifts the way that you view your own childhood.

SPEAKER_00 50:59

Yeah, that is true. It it recontextualizes your entire experience. And especially if the people in your life are like, well, you'll understand when you're a parent. Uh sometimes you understand even less. Yeah. And that's of like that's something that's hard to come to grips with. Is no, now I can't imagine it even more than I already struggled with. It yeah, I I think uh I like your your thought on uh the research and understanding some of the science behind what's going on. And then I I always try and advocate for don't project too much onto what you expect this child to be. Because like let them be who they're gonna be. You will it's hard. Yeah, like if you let them be who you'll be, you'll be able to kind of learn what you're dealing with, and so much of it you're gonna figure out along the way. And you can't prepare for it. A book is not gonna help you know what it feels like. And then when they're here, you can look up milestones and stuff, and like you can have things that help you keep tracking.

SPEAKER_02 52:01

That was really helpful. Yeah, is looking up leaps.

SPEAKER_00 52:04

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 52:05

That's something that's hugely helpful. I didn't do that at all this time, but uh children go through big leaps. The development of children is not linear, and so it kind of plateaus and then spikes up and then plateaus and spikes up. They are learning all of these new things all at once, and it can impact their sleep and being fussy and a lot of different things. So downloading an app that tracks when their leaps are gonna be was really, really helpful. Okay. Do we is there anything else? Should we do?

SPEAKER_00 52:37

I mean, we have we have several more, but we can uh we can let these people go.

SPEAKER_02 52:41

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 52:42

And we can pick it up next week.

SPEAKER_02 52:44

Let these people go.

SPEAKER_00 52:45

Let my people go.

SPEAKER_02 52:46

You know, I don't know.

SPEAKER_00 52:48

It was Easter just, you know, I completely discombobulated.

SPEAKER_02 52:53

Follow us, rate and review.

SPEAKER_00 52:55

Yeah, do all the stuff. Leave us voicemails, emails, texts. You guys have been doing a great job with it. So if you guys somehow manage to overwhelm us with it, we'll just uh maybe we'll do an extra episode or two that focuses on all we could do a bonus.

SPEAKER_02 53:08

Yeah, we could bonus sode.

SPEAKER_00 53:10

Bonus sode. That's not bonus episode. That's what we should say. We should not be contracting.

SPEAKER_01 53:17

Yeah. All right. Now bye. Yeah.