Overthinking with the Overbys

Spiders in the Studio

Jo Johnson Overby & Matt Overby Season 1 Episode 18

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We limp home from Florida after our Volvo’s screen goes dark and somehow takes the AC and turn signals with it, forcing a last-minute scramble, a photo pivot, and some honest talk about pressure and disappointment. Then we go chronically online about the LA mayoral race and AI political ads before answering listener questions on asking for help during terminal illness, first birthday gifts that last, and what to do in Omaha. 

Join us for:

• A run of nonstop May and June schedules and why it leaves us wiped 
• Spiders in the studio and an updated spider count 
• Bloom Summer Splash and the awkwardness of liking influencer-marketed products 
• Florida recap, sunscreen habits, and hating the feeling of being burnt 
• The Volvo infotainment failure that kills blinkers and air conditioning 
• Reset attempts, sticky-floor pit stop, and salvaging family photos 
• A marriage moment on decision-making, accountability, and fear of disappointment 
• Spencer Pratt in the LA mayoral race and why AI ads are about to be everywhere 
• Bad Dad Mean Mom award for seven hours at a tiny airport with three kids 
• Word of the week: dithering 
• Listener email on a parent’s terminal cancer and when to lean on community support 
• First birthday gift ideas with long-term value: play couch, Magna-Tiles, balance bike 
• Omaha recs: zoo timing, College World Series, concerts, and more!

If you've got a thought to share or are looking for a bit of advice on something, leave us a voicemail at the link below!

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Sleepy Start And Spider Patrol

I can barely open my eyes. What if I just do the whole podcast with my eyes closed? That's good podcasting. I mean, to be fair, the audio aspect, that's not really gonna be an issue. I'm sleepy. Sleepy? We uh had a big week in Florida. Yeah. Yes, yeah. We've had man week after week. I know. To be fair, we just talked about the Renfair. The day after the Renfair, we traveled to Florida. Yep. So it's been uh non-stop. Week after that, we go on your uh family holiday. You know, we're just rapid firing it through this whole arrangement. Yeah, it wasn't on purpose. No, it's just that's June, baby. Then we'll actually be there's a spider behind you running across the wall. Oh, it's all the way back on the behind you. It's coming toward me. Ah, okay. Got him. Sorry. I think we got that. That was really, really spooky. I did not know. Just the scheduling. It's always this way. I know people call it May Sember because it's kind of like a second holiday season with graduations and all that. Oh, it's not even June. Mother's Day. It is well, yeah. Yeah. It is June. It will be June by the time this is all over. But I well, it's June as they're listening to this. Yes. Yeah. That's the weird part about recording. It's kind of like time traveling, but like only a week or two at a time. Only like a couple days. Yeah. But all I'm saying is May is always absolutely nuts for us. And it leads into June. And we have a lot of family birthdays in June. We have my birthday, our daughter's birthday, my mom's birthday, Father's Day. And my family does a holiday in June every single year. So all of that combined, coming out of an already crazy May, is just a lot to I don't know. Yeah. I feel very fortunate that we're able to do all the things that we're doing. But holy moly. It is the season. I think it's really good that we hit it at the beginning of the summer though. Yeah. Because I like getting to the end and feeling just wiped. And then looking forward to the routine of being home and just being in our house all summer. Another one. Tony, the door got left open. There's it's Spider City up in here right now. I we'll have to spray. I'll have to spray and um I've never seen a spider in here before. It's because two doors got left open to the studio space. Oh man. And um now they've discovered that there's this sick little vintage-looking room where they can just be vibant spider tastic. And not get impacted by the weather. Yes, yeah. There's a little sealed studio for them to live in. Okay, well. It's great. We can do that. It's fine. We're gonna be so focused. We haven't put AC into this room and it's filled with spiders. So Alright, so today's episode, spider count. We're at two. You want me to go kill the spider? Yeah, I do, because otherwise the spider count, we don't know that it's accurate. That's fair. Yeah, we could be double size, like go get over there. Get over there. I'll narrate. All right, he's walking over, he's using my shoe. He has killed the spider. The spider has died. And now he's returning to his spot. I could be a commentator. Play by play. Play by play. Spiders. Now I'm looking for spiders because I want to contribute to my spider count. If we're not focused, you know why now. Yeah, it's spiders.

Influencer Drinks And Summer Splash

What are you drinking today? I'm drinking the same thing you're drinking, but mine has a sleeve on it. So you've really turned me on to these. So you know what's funny? Maybe this is just something that I'm really in my head about, but because I'm a content creator and like influencing and I do brand collaborations and stuff like that, I then find myself uncomfortable to like things that are heavily influencer-marketed. Ah, interesting. I am less likely to try them, not because I don't believe that people really like them. You just want to be like accused of marketing something you're not, or what? I don't really know. I should probably do some digging emotionally on why this is. There's something to think about there. However, Bloom is one of those. I have tried a few different things from them, and I actually worked with them on their greens powder because I do like that years ago. But I've never like, I'm not a probiotic soda girl. I like culture pops. I'm gonna drink them, but I've never taken like a collaboration or anything. Anyway, not sponsored. What what uh inspired you to try this one? We're both drinking a Bloom Sparkling Energy Summer Splash. Summer Splash. And they're good. I do like the Summer Splash. Matt got us a big one at Sam's Club when he went. That's why. Because what? That's why. I had a really convenient size 12 pack of Summer Splash only. And I like some of the other flavors, but it's not one that I consistently get. Yeah, you didn't want to have to drink 12 of them. Yeah, I didn't want to try the 12 pack of Summer Splash. You wanted both of us to like it. Or I want me to really like it. But I was like, if I don't like it and you don't like it, and we have a 12 pack of Summer Splash, we're just gonna be pushing them on anybody that comes to the house. Well, it has a lemon and a strawberry on the front, which is my ideal beverage. Oh yeah, here. Nothing beats the bold tangy sweetness of strawberry lemonade. Oh, if I would have known it was strawberry lemonade, you probably didn't even have to ask me or have me try it. I just think it's best to check. I agree. Especially because Bloom, they have the apple cider vinegar in them. And so it kind of depends on if the flavors complement. Why do they have apple cider vinegar in them? I don't know, probably just a health thing, you know. People be into apple cider vinegar. Is that part of the probiotic? Why do you know that? I think it's like the staple of their drink, though. Oh, really? Yeah. I don't think this has apple cider vinegar in it. Oh, yeah. I'm actually 100%. I found it in the ingredient list. Yeah, it's actually on the little the button things on the side. What button things? See those? Oh, yeah, where it says in giant letters apple cider vinegar. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I just I was testing you. Oh, I'm rock sorry. They're good though. I like them. Yeah, I'm I've been enjoying it. So uh yeah.

Florida Heat, Sunscreen, And Tanning

All right, so we are back home and settled in after a week in Florida. Low ride them. Which we're not big Florida people. I'm not a big humidity person. When I say we're not big Florida people, I feel like some people that we talk to grew up, that's where they would drive to do their vacations every single summer, right? Yeah, I think that's a lot of people, like especially by us, where that's what they consider the beach. It's drivable. Yeah, there's just also a lot of beach. Yeah, there is a lot of beach. I know. The Gulf of America is very broad, so there's a lot of shoreline out there. I was just gonna leave it there. I know you were. I can't with you. Uh anyway, it was fun. We're getting more and more tan. I think through the podcast will be nice that we can see just the gradual tanning and then I'm sure untanning in the fall. I don't feel like I'm that I got that. You stay pretty consistent. You're a sunscreen gal. I'm a sunscreen gal. I wear some sunscreen too. Most of the time, if I'm tan, it's from a bottle. Not at the end of the summer, July and August. I start to really have I get tan. Yeah. That's what people don't know. People think you're really light complexed and you're just very diligent with sunscreen. Yeah, and I always wear a hat. It's not even about cancer and aging. Really great benefits, and I'm glad that those are things that I'm taking care of myself with. However, I genuinely hate my skin feeling burnt more than anything. Like it is a sensory nightmare to me. Just laying in the sun is not for you. I don't like being hot. Yeah, that's not gonna be ideal. You're gonna have to be in like a submerged pool. And that's when I get a lot of color, is when we're on the lake or we're swimming in the pool or things like that, where I don't feel that hot feeling the same way, then I'll get really tan. That's what they call evaporative cooling. Ooh, cool, cool, cool. Well, I think that what people need to hear about is the end of Florida.

Volvo Glitch Turns Into A Crisis

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. The part where I abandoned our car in uh Florida. Yeah. I abandoned our car in Florida. Why? Because just after talking to somebody about how it'd been super reliable for us, the middle entertainment screen went out. And you would think, well, Matt, you can make it back to Arkansas without the middle entertainment screen, correct? Sure. The car was running and driving great. However, when it went out, the turn signal stopped working, which is not okay. And the air conditioning went out, and it was 85 degrees and a million percent humidity roughly. So the air conditioning was going to be critical for a 12-hour drive home the next day. I'd like to note we were raving about how much we like our Volvo, not how much we like the infotainment system. Oh no, no, I've never claimed the infotainment system is good. Maybe it didn't sound this way at all, but when I heard you say it, it sounded like we were just raving about how much we liked it. We didn't clarify what it was, and then you were like, and then the infotainment system went out. And I just want everybody to know that Volvo has maybe the worst infotainment system on the market. Hey, if you hear this, we still love you very much. We love our car very much. We love our car. We came from older cars that don't have squat for infotainment, so we're willing to be like, you know what? It has something. We've really never bought a car with less than what 75,000 miles on it. That's usually the floor. Most of mine have been over a hundred thousand miles, and I still drive. My car's over 10 years old and has I don't know. Is it nearing 200,000? 150,000? No, it's in like 160s. It has a lot of miles on it. And so it but it doesn't have does mine have car play? No, it doesn't have car play. Why do you have a lot of it? No, no, yours barely has Bluetooth. Well, I've been getting used to getting in the Volvo, I guess. Yeah. But no, I definitely do not have CarPlay. Long story short, the Volvo is an upgrade for us, but anybody that's been driving cars with tech in this decade probably won't be down. Yeah. Basically, any other one is gonna be either more intuitive or just oh, every time my best friend has a Party ride, and every time I get in it, I'm like, what is this spaceship? Yeah, this is awesome. The screen's huge. Like, that's wild. To me, it's not even about the screen size, it's just the layout and sometimes how stuff works is not ideal. It's if you look at Volvos, it's one of the biggest complaints. People are like, love the car, love the service. You know, we've had ours forever. Uh, the infotainment system is not good. We made it the whole 13-hour road trip to Florida with no issue. No problem. Thank goodness. So we got in the car on Friday to go take, we're all dressed, ready for our family photos. We have all three kids dressed. We're dressed up. I am so excited because one of my dear friends is staying 45 minutes from us and we're gonna meet up and swap family photos. We're on time, we're actually running early because we know that there's gonna be traffic and I adore our outfits. Our kids are excited, everybody's in a good mood. We get, I don't know, 10 minutes down the road, we stop at a red light, and the car behind us stops, and two cars behind the car behind us don't stop, don't stop, rear ends, yeah. It's like a multi-vehicle accident. We did not get hit. No, and Matt and I go, Oh my goodness, that would really stink to have car problems. Oh, we're so lucky. And about three minutes later, Matt goes, uh. And I went, What are we uh owing? And he points at the center console and the whole screen's black. I was like, Okay, who cares? We don't need music. He said, Do you feel like you're starting to get a little toasty? And uh, that's when I'm like, Oh, the air conditioning's not working. He said, Nope. And then he tried to turn his blinker on to merge over to get off the road, and he's like, Oh, and the blinkers aren't working. And at first, both of us are like, Okay, we'll just restart stuff. Like, we'll hold down the button, we'll we'll reset the thing, it'll be fine. I'm Googling furiously. First thing it says to do, turn off the car for 15 to 20 minutes, take the keys more than 50 feet away so that it doesn't know you're there, and it'll go through a whole reset process. We pull over to some random Mexican restaurant. One guy working. Yeah, we sat down and it's yeah, what, four o'clock, so it's not exactly the floor was so sticky. Really? Yeah, I had to get out of there. That's why I was so ready to leave, is because every time my feet touched the ground, they were like Yeah. You know what I mean? They probably just cleaned it before the dinner. So it's got that wet. You've never had that? No, no, this was like a fraternity floor. Okay. No, my shoes were like actually sticking to it. It was like somebody had spilled soda, let it dry, and then I was walking through it. Oh, okay. That's nice. That's nice. It was everything else was clean. That's what was weird about it. I couldn't even get you weren't really there. No, I was frantically I was manning three children. Yeah. Yeah, I don't do well when I'm hot, and so the idea of not having air conditioning was freaking me out. And then I remembered our car was under warranty, which made it better and worse because then it has to go to a Volvo dealer. You're not the best under pressure. Uh, I'm not the nicest, yeah. I also don't think you're the best. Okay, fair enough. What part do you feel like you handled well? I mean, I'm not saying I handled any of it well. Oh, okay. Sorry. I I thought you were genuinely saying like the only thing I don't do well under pressure is like keep my cool. So I was curious what you felt like was a real strength of yours. Gathering information quickly. Yeah, I require a certain amount of pressure to activate, but too much pressure. I feel like it's pressure with people though. Pressure where I'm being observed. Yes, you know, but the problem is we're your family. Yeah, you're always there. Yeah, it's a whole thing. It was an interesting marriage moment because we haven't had family photos taken with all three kids, other than when Kay was born. Yeah. We don't have anything really professionally as a family of five. And so I've been really excited that this was gonna work out how it did. It all was coming together. I was so proud. So I'm dealing with like a lot of major disappointment. You're dealing with disappointment, you were dealing with a little bit of guilt because of that traffic that added what was gonna be an hour and a half round trip, all of a sudden was looking like it was gonna be a three-hour to four-hour round trip. Yeah. On the fence on whether we were going, I was like, Yeah, let's do it. Let's go. Yeah, you were excited for this. Not gonna be a big deal. The kids will probably fall asleep on the way back. It'll be all good. They're good in the car until Spider Three. Oh that didn't get him. It didn't? Did that? No way. He didn't look dangerous, but uh he's on the loose, so is that two and a half, or do we count it and just I'm gonna count it as three. If he makes it back, that's that's on us. That's on us. Anyway. This is a mess. Uh we decided to send it, and then this is where I feel like the under pressure part, your communication kind of dissolves when you're under pressure. And I uh was trying to figure out because I'm doing all the communicating with all parties, because I'm supposed to be taking family photos for someone. Not that nobody was upset, nobody's, you know, everything's fine, but I'm trying to understand because I'm not doing any of the reading. I'm like, is the car coming back on? Like, is this an on and unplug and re-plug-in situation or no? Uh and then finally we got to the bottom of that it's not, and I was able to kind of call in the troops of friends, and we happened to have another acquaintance that was staying 10 minutes from us, who's also a photographer, and she had her camera with her and was waiting in a long wait time for dinner with her family, and it was gonna be like an hour before they could get a table, and so she said, just come over to where we're eating right now, I'll hop out and take your family photos really quick. Yeah, and we were five minutes away, yeah, something like that. And so we did that. Obviously, we only shot for 15 minutes, and the photos are great. Yeah, it just wasn't by that time, our kids had been dealing with us in the hot car with no air conditioning. We did get the blinkers back on. Yes, yeah, that was the thing. When we reset the car, basically what it was is when the infotainment system, when the car turns on, it goes through these checks that like, is this working? Is this working? And when it came on, the infotainment system was working. And the blinkers are tied to that with like some sound stuff. Anyway, when it went out, we lost them. When it reset, it was like, oh, we don't have the infotainment system. You do need blinkers to drive. So the blinkers worked. They didn't make any sound, so there was no clicking to let you know your blinkers were on, but at least the light would tell you. They went. So we hopped over. Matt had to park the car half a mile away and to get family photos done. So Matt was a sweaty mess. You had a great attitude. I mean, you were you. I was doing the best I could. The other problem is like you're trying to figure out if the car's working or if it's going to work. I'm I'm having to diagnose something, and I don't know either. I'm trying to figure it out, trying to be focused on that. And it was one of those things that we just needed to make a call. Yes, and that's not a forte of mine. No. I'm like, I need to fully diagnose it before I can make a call. And you're like, no, we have three kids with us. We have to make a call. Right. And I also felt like you, I would love your insight on how you felt in the moment, but I perceived it as you were feeling at fault when I said, okay, let's just call it. That for some reason felt to me like it was a judgment on you. I knew how disappointed you were that photos weren't working and how excited you were going in. And I hate to make people feel disappointment, even if it's not necessarily my thing or if it's So clarify on that to me because what I didn't understand was do you just not like to be around anyone that feels like It's probably I mean partially, and then I'm sure some of it is if I make the call, I'm taking responsibility for some of the disappointment. Oh, interesting. Yeah. I felt like we were making the decision together, but you were refusing to I'm really bad at making decisions together, though. I've got some of that black and white thinking where it's like, well, whoever made the final call, that's who's had this lies on. It's not a good method, especially in a family or partnership. It's just the way the wiring sits currently, which is not a good team player attitude. But well, at least I'll be able to throw Joe under the bus later. It's not about that, it's about not feeling the responsibility personally. That's better, right? Surely that's better. Explain to me the difference. I understand that they're worded differently and one's more eloquent and whatever, but explain to me the difference of ooh, okay, I'll be able to throw Joe under the bus later if something goes wrong. And it's not prioritizing throwing someone under the bus, it's covering my own ass. Right. And when there are only two people in the partnership, if you're covering your own ass, so the responsibility is not on you, it has to go somewhere. So where does it go? The ether. No, it's uh I'm saying that the thought process is not about pinning somebody to the wall. I'm not talking about the thought process, I'm talking about the impact. Sure. We're not talking about the intention. Sure. Who's holding us accountable? Us? The life, world? I don't know. Why does that matter? Well, where's where's the accountability coming from? How run over does somebody need to be? How to the wolves is someone being thrown? That's what I'm not saying to know. I'm not saying this is a good thought. No, I don't need to know that. Is she losing one arm or is it all of her limbs, or is she gonna make it? Because if she's gonna make it. This is important information in any decision-making process. No, the the problem is, is I get scared of being accountable for disappointment. I realize in having this conversation though, I think that you feel about disappointment how I feel about anger. Have we come to that conclusion before? I mean, I don't know if we've like put it in a that shell. Like we know that about each other, but probably not the same, like comparison-wise. That's so interesting. Anyway, next day we had to pivot.

Towing, Warranty Rules, And Pivoting Plans

Not even next day, like we got home from pictures like 30 minutes later, and we got the ball rolling on what the logistics were gonna look like. Yeah, I was having to look stuff up and then I realized our car isn't like we got it fairly recently, and that Volvo's got great warranty coverage. You're just staring at me. I'm I'm already I'm getting wound up again, just thinking about it. We got home from photos, and Matt did a couple things to see if some troubleshooting that he had researched would work on the battery. Nothing worked out, so we ended up having to call Volvo, found out that we are under warranty. And the guy that he talked to initially that night didn't really know what was going on. It was super late, but we did go ahead and schedule a tow truck. Tow truck driver ended up calling us in the morning and being like, what the heck? Because the tow truck was scheduled to go all the way to Mobile, Alabama, which is four hours away from where we were. We did some amending to that without permission, uh, I believe. It was a gray area. Yeah, and ended up taking it to Pensacola, which made a lot more sense. It was a whole thing. Our thought process was we'll rent a car. No big deal. We start searching online to find a car rental. Nothing's available. It is a holiday weekend at the beach. Literally, there is not a vehicle big enough that will carry a family of five home. Then I was like, okay, well, we'll just look at flights, and there was a non-stop. So I booked it. Yeah. It really was not that big of a deal. It worked out really well for how badly it could have gone. Because especially with the holiday weekend, a lot of things that might have been on the table weren't on the table. Because if this weren't a holiday weekend, it could get towed to a dealer. If they have the parts, they could fix it same day. We take our own car home, you know? Yeah. The funniest thing that happened in the entire process is once we had everything figured out. And we are sitting at our Airbnb waiting for our Uber that's gonna take us to the airport. And literally our identical car pulls up. Like our Uber driver was driving our exact, well, a different year, model year. In color, but our exact vehicle. And that was kind of spooky. It was weird to be abandoning a Volvo SUV and then picked up in one to go to the airport. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know. I feel like we generally roll with the punches fine. Yeah. Yeah. I know it's not your favorite. No. I and I know that it can feel overwhelming to you. Like it's you're not one that's like, I just want an adventure. I can do anything. It's not like that at all. However, I was talking to another friend about this not that long ago that I feel like we're good people to travel with as a whole because we could be broken down on the side of the road. As long as you don't feel like it's your fault. Yeah. We're golden. It's no problem. We'll be walking five miles on foot with a gas can in hand, cracking jokes and being silly. Like we don't really get grouchy. Yeah, it's so much of it is just being like when we travel, a lot of people get stressed about where they're gonna stay or a lot of that kind of thing. For me, as long as I know there is a solution, or that I can't screw the solution up, that it's just you gotta figure it out, or it's it's probably ties into the responsibility side, like you were saying. But I'm good with finding solutions. It's like with this car, I don't know how to fix it. I don't know if I'm allowed to fix it. I don't know if I'm allowed to take it somewhere to somebody who can, if it is something I can't fix. And there's the whole component, I think a big part of it was like we're taking the pictures, and that had me tied up in the moment in terms of like how do I get this fixed now? I also think it's really interesting. I lean a lot into it's other people's responsibility to tell me how they feel or what they need from me. Yeah, that bites you a lot with me. Like, that's well, no, no, I that's not really what I was getting at. That's a big thing to me. Uh that's just not my MO. I do tend to try and be a person who fixes every single part of something on my own. And you're amazing at it. I do better than many would. Not all, but okay, not the actual specialty people in those fields. Not if a specialty, yeah, not if a Volvo mechanic had their vehicle. I would be willing to put you up against most people though, if you had to do 10 different fix them moments across all different disciplines. Sure. I think that you would kick, but that should be a show. Oh. That would be a really fun show. Can we who who's the who's the guy? It's like a repairment face-off. Kind of, but I want it to be all like I want it to have tech. I want it to have no tech. Yeah. I want it to have like I want it to be all over the place. I want to have mechanics, you know? Yeah. I think that would be very entertaining. I want you fixing plumbing. Yeah. Okay. Yeah, I can do plumbing. Actually, yeah. I want every single and each week, it's kind of like a house makeover. Except for instead of being a house makeover. Like here's three broken vacuums. No, I just like lots of different disciplines. You know how they do like the kitchen and the bedroom and the primary bath, and some people specialize and do better in different areas. Yeah. It's like that, except for fixing stuff. Sure. This is we're we're cooking with something here. Yeah. I think it would be good. Got it. And I think you would win. Oh, thank you. I'd say top three for sure. How many people are doing it? I don't know. Like eight. I'd say top two. I think I'd be top two. Yeah. You think you'd be in the final? Yeah. I think I'd be in the finals of whatever this competition is. I like it. There's a few things that'll trip me up, but generally, if you're talking about a broad set of skills, I I've got a fairly broad set of skills. I agree. And I think you're good about knowing when you need the niche skills that you need to hire the professional. Yes. I have been broadening my skills year by year to hire less and less because I just uh I have the privilege of the time and I like being able to do it myself. Then I know how good or bad of a job's been done. You know? Yeah. There's certain times you're like, I fixed that, and I know it's not rock solid.

LA Mayoral Race And AI Attack Ads

All right. Chronically Online this week. I actually chronically online's brought to you by Matt. He doesn't know it. Oh, interesting. Uh, but we were listening today, one of Matt's podcasts, about the LA Merrill. Mayoral. Mayor. I can't say it. Mayoral. Mayoral. Nailed in. Election. Yep. That is coming up. And after we talked about it, then my phone started feeding me all kinds of news about it. Oh, yeah. And what I want to talk to you about with it. Well, actually, give a rundown on what's happening in LA. Okay, so LA is electing a new mayor. A lot of people are not happy with how um the current mayor. Yeah. The current mayor, people are frustrated with how things are in LA, generally speaking. And how she's handled some things. And how she's handled things specifically. There's also a lot of there's like unhoused issues, and uh people are frustrated about it. Very broad set of things, fires. There's a lot of things that have affected LA, and people are frustrated with how the current administration has handled things. Kind of like the presidential election in 24. Some people are just like, we want something totally different. Don't know if it's better, don't know if it's worse. But it's gonna be different. It's gonna be different. We're gonna absolutely shake it up, even if the current administration may be more qualified than the challengers, they want a challenger. Oh, and it's a jungle? Yeah, they have a jungle system, it's not a one-party, two-party. We have people and then can a few people are into it. It's just like a whole mess of people, and whoever gets the most votes out of all those people, and so people from the same party cannibalize each other's votes, and so you need people to drop out, and a lot of times they end up getting people to drop out for front runners by signing them onto their team, basically. It's a whole so people will get in the race to try and get gigs in other people's administrations. It's a mess. But the chronically online part of this is Spencer Pratt, Spencer Pratt of the Hills, Spencer Pratt. Correct. Is running as a candidate. And is a primary and a challenger. Is a big challenger in things. His home was destroyed in the fires at the beginning of 2025. He's very angry about how everything has happened. And if you were chronically online, as am I, you saw him get online and do all kinds of like series of viral videos as the fires were happening, talking about what was going on, etc. And he also ended up putting up a GoFundMe and like all kinds of yeah. There's some shady I don't know about anyway, there was some stuff. I think he denies 9-11. Yeah. He's a 9-11 truther type guy. He's got some real takes. There's some takes. However, the part that I was gonna bring up that I doubt you've seen yet is the AI ads that somebody is paying to run for in support of Spencer Pratt. Well, so he is kind of a Republican right-wing darling. And I mean, LA is a really important city, like in terms of economically and all this, it's huge. And so the implications of who is mayor, think of you know, Mom Donnie in New York City, right? They have a lot of impact. And so the right has found their front runner, and so tons of money gets poured into the campaigns of these people, and so that's how that kind of thing ends up happening. Well, have you seen the AI app? I have not seen them. Okay, so it's a little boy, not teeny tiny, but maybe 14. It's all AI. Okay, this is a little bit more. I was gonna say AI, AI little boy. I'm already like it's a 14-year-old boy like sitting talking with his parents, and they're made out to be like left-wing. Oh, you know, but they look like LA stereotypes. They're not stereotypes in how they look, just in how they're talking. Sure. So the boy's like, why don't we like Spencer Pratt? And they're like, Well, don't you know he wants to stop people from doing heroin on the playground in front of the children? They start saying all of these really inflammatory things and being like, Well, he wants to stop uh I don't remember what else was said. They he wants to help the people who lost their homes in Malibu and the palace, sure things like that, and it just goes back and forth, and the the boys getting more and more confused as they're talking, and it's all AI, and apparently it's like being really pushed out in that area. Oh, yeah. That's that's one of the huge issues with politics in general right now is the because of how we're able to contribute money to campaigns, and there's not a lot of limits on that. A lot of who is in charge is determined by how all this money gets funneled across the country into elections. And this is one of those that a lot of money is getting pushed into. So by the time this comes out, the picture may be clear in terms of what direction everything's going. But yeah, I don't know. Great AI ads. We should just strap in because they're about to be, they already are everywhere, and they're about to be super everywhere for the next It's gonna be wild. Yeah, so it's gonna be wild. Love that, love that for us. Sorry, I feel like I may have cut into Chronically Online a little early because we didn't wrap up the car story.

Seven Hours In A Tiny Airport

Yeah, we did make it home. Yes, we uh did get the car fixed, yes, and bad dad mean mom for the week is we made our children sit in an airport with absolutely nothing inside of it for seven hours. Yeah, nothing against the Destin Airport, it's a lovely small airport. Oh, okay. Okay. I didn't know. Is it the fact that we had to go to a separate building that wasn't very clear? And they don't have any sit-down, like real restaurants in that building. Yeah, it was clean, it was very clean. I would just really like a restaurant where I can actually sit down. That would that would have been nice, wouldn't have minded a place to kill some time. Right. Because you do pack very differently and prepare very differently for a road trip than a flight. And when you have to check out your Airbnb at 10 in the morning and your only flight option is at 7 p.m. It's uh it's a long time to be unprepared with three kids in an airport. Yes, it is. And they felt it. Nothing like being an hour in and they go, Is our flight here? Are we ready to go? And you have to go, no, actually, not even close. Yeah. You know how long it is when you're at school? We have a whole school day till we take off. So strap in. Yep. So Bad Dad Mean Mom was just having to battle the entire day to keep things. And we made it. We did make it, but wow, would have loved it. It wasn't our best showing. If you saw us at the Destin Airport, please, yeah. I don't ever need to know. Maybe don't message us. Yeah. It's better if I feel like that's always when somebody messages me. Yeah. It's very good. Did you get any? Really? No, I didn't. We made it. We did make it. Give me a word of the week.

Word Of The Week: Dithering

Word of the week. Dithering. Familiar with dithering. D-I-T-H-E-R-I-N-G. Nailed it. I have seen it in books. I have absolutely no idea what it means. Okay. Well, there's two meanings we're gonna focus on. Okay. I thought of it when I saw it in a book as like floundering. It's not super far off. No, no, it's that's nearby. Is that going the right direction? Yeah, it's it's close. Yeah. I'm sure in context you're able to understand what was going on. Everyday life to dither means to be indecisive, nervous, or uncertain. It describes someone hesitating to make a decision or wavering between options. Okay. I don't I I wasn't quite, but I feel like I was on the right track. Yeah, floundering, you know, you've lost, you're not sure what's yeah. Dithering, she was dithering over which job offer to accept. I like that. Yeah. Uh it's applicable in your life for sure, just because you deal with me. No whole Volvo situation. That was there's a lot of dithering involved there. There was a lot of dithering involved there. Dithering is a state for me that I am semi-regularly in. Dither dither. Dither dither. Otherwise, in computers, it's like when an image processes and it's blocky, it has to dither image. Yeah. Mixes pixels to create patterns. Yeah. So like when people tell me the quality of this looks bad. It needed to like when it officially uh initially uploads, I could be like, ah. Mm-hmm. Yeah, dithering is how it would I say it's still dithering. Yeah, or it need maybe it needs to be dithered more. If it's blocky, dithering helps smooth out the blockiness. Blends. Yeah. Give it some time to dither. Yeah. Yeah. Dither it up. No, that's nope. Nope. That was dumb. Didn't work. Didn't work. Tried and I missed. So that's the word of the week. Dithering. Yeah. Do you have uh an email? I know we have some messages. Yeah. All right, let's get to this one. It's a long one. Should you read it instead of me? You know how I do with these long ones. I'm happy. Sometimes I just absolutely fall apart. I'm on it. Yeah.

Asking Friends For Help During Terminal Illness

Hey Joe and Matt. I'm a longtime listener and have been really enjoying the relaunch of Overthinking. My question's probably more for Joe. Perfect. I'm married, no kids, I'm currently doing a master's and do have a really supportive community around me. My mom was diagnosed two years ago with terminal cancer, and there's been some rocky steps along the way. She was doing really well for a long time, but has been on more of a downward trend lately, still living at home and has my dad as a primary caregiver. We live in the same city, so I try to help them out around the house and do errands where I can, but often can't do a lot because I'm working and in school too. Her case is really complicated. Like team of five different specialists complicated. So when something in her healthcare plan changes, there are many unknowns that I've found hard to handle until there's a resolution. My mom genuinely seems at peace with the situation. My husband's been super supportive of me and helps out a lot around the house. But he has a demanding job, so he can't do everything. Here's where the question comes in. I feel like it's hard to know when to ask for support from friends and community. Because she has this continuing illness, I'm having a hard time determining where the threshold is for when it's too much and needs support, meals, yard maintenance, dog care. Because I never know if the situation's gonna last another two weeks, two months, or two years. I don't want to always be relying on support, but I'm having a really hard time figuring out when to use that pickup. That's a really good question. That's something I've struggled with a lot. I've described it as feeling like I am the little boy that yelled wolf. Is that screamed wolf? Cried wolf. I'm like, that's not right. Uh I've described it as feeling like being the little boy that cried wolf because there were a couple years when my mom had a lot of hospitalizations and there were some big things happening. And by the third time it happened, I stopped even telling my friends that it was happening because there was this sense of shame or embarrassment or discomfort in feeling like I was demanding so much of my community in a time that I really didn't feel like I could provide my community with much. And so while I really relate to this feeling, I don't know that I have the best advice because that is a feeling I struggle with, and that is something that I don't know that I I've figured out. I think that with you and me, you have really encouraged me to always ask and always divulge when I'm feeling overwhelmed, regardless of how I may perceive that impacts you. Yeah, well, with your partner, it's gonna impact you both regardless. Whether or not you share it, that impact is felt by everybody. Right. That's how your household operates. And so it doesn't help and I mean this is a real statement coming from me who never divulges anything that's a huge issue for me in a timely fashion, but it leaks through regardless. And so it's something I work on and something that I try to encourage you to feel is available to share those feelings, whether or not there's something that I even have the capacity to take off your plate in that moment. It's better to have it out in the open. Well, and I think it's a really good time. Something that I've ended up doing is having those conversations with my friends and the community around me about how I'm feeling. Because in my experience, I they have been very supportive in that moment too, and reassuring that that is not the behavior. And you're also in a different situation than me because you are looking at a terminal diagnosis, like you know that. And so maybe it is two years instead of two months. But at the end of the day, if the diagnosis is terminal and you know where things are going, I I think that you should be leveraging that community as much as you can to spend as much time as you can. And obviously the hope is that the team can work something out and things go differently, and you know, obviously, that's that's always the hope, and that's what I wish for you and your family. And I think that the community is meant to support you through those things, and I think that's the hard part about culturally that we don't operate the way that we once maybe did. Because I feel like when we're all working together on all things, it helps, but we're also individual in these little individual homes and these individual things, and the lack of community makes that lack of support feel even bigger, you know. Yeah, I it's something, and again, it's something I struggle with rather than feeling like I have a great grasp on it that I can share a wealth of informed opinion on. But I struggle with if you don't give people the opportunity to help you, it actually creates more distance. But the people that are really tight in your community want to be able to support you. 100%. I'm somebody that wants to be able to show up for other people, but I don't do a good job of asking for support back, and that ends up creating these one-sided relationships. Even if I'm on the side that's doing more, it doesn't feel equal. And so maybe if you can reframe in a way that goes, people want to show up for me, people want to be there, and they really feel that way. It's not a they're offering support out of obligation or feeling like they should. Many people, myself included, want to do that, like it makes them feel good to know that they've helped you. Right. I agree. And so keeping that framework in mind, I was gonna what you pointed out about talking about your feelings, those feelings, sometimes that gives you an outlet and they can tell you this is where it falls, or and you're not looking for pity, you're not looking for any of that. You just go, hey, I don't, I don't know what's appropriate or what's not. Yeah. And so it's such a hard thing to navigate. There's no good answer. Like we we can't tell you it's like, well, 70% of the time this works like this. Well, and I think it's really hard when you're a young adult going through it, too. At least I don't know, maybe I'm throwing myself a page. You think it's really hard because you do that. Yeah, I maybe I'm throwing myself a pity party and maybe I'm looking at other people's situations and not understanding the full scope of it. This is my opinion. When I see older people that are further into their adult life go through these things, it is so different than going through it in your younger years. Not that both aren't hard. That's not what I'm saying. However, when you're older. You've already had a lot of years as an adult to establish what are my routines? What are the things I do to pour into my community? You know, you are established. Whereas when you're in your younger years, whether that's entering the workforce or new in your marriage or organizing your home, or I know you said you don't have kids, but for me it's been during my early motherhood years. Even if you didn't have that hard situation going on, it feels like the ground is your your foundation's no longer solid because so much is moving and changing and shifting. And so I think adding on a health complication within your family is even more so hard to navigate in terms of the logistics. Well, I think the difference is when you're when you have this more rooted routine, when you have you have less space for it to occupy. When you're younger, and there's pros and cons to both sides of that. When you're younger, you're less established. It can occupy a lot more of your space because you have a lot of space that you haven't carved out or figured out in your life. When you get older, you have a broader set of obligations. You have more things that go on with or without you. And so, yes, your capacity to show up is smaller, but it also means it doesn't consume the entirety when you're younger and you don't have all of the structures that life kind of establishes as you go. Totally. It can take up a lot mentally. Yeah. And so I'm sorry that you're in that. Yeah. And I wish that I had better advice, but I I guess I would leave you with you're not alone. And those are really valid and normal feelings. And um, I'm wishing you all the best. Yeah. Let's voicemail it up. I don't want to promise it's gonna get lighter, but maybe, hopefully.

Best First Birthday Gifts That Last

Hi Jo, hi Matt. My name's Amara, and I'm from just outside of Sydney, Australia. Um, my question is I have a little boy and he's just about to turn one, and I'm having trouble deciding what of all of the first birthday present ideas are actually going to be long-term useful. So I would love your recommendations for what you have bought for the kids that you're still using now. Thank you. Play couch, yes, play couch. I was gonna say that or like the climbing gym kind of deal. Play couch. Play couch. Yeah. That's true. Because one, I mean, they might be walking, but at best. I love our nugget. Yeah. My sisters have both the Sam's Club version and the Nugget. There's maybe other options out there too now. I think the Nugget's superior. That might be kind of a hot take, but I just feel like the quality's better. And I personally I I've loved ours so much. Um, that would be definitely up there in my recommendations. Uh, let's see, what else? What else? What else are we still using? That's what I'm trying to think. Of like magnetiles, the kids sort of getting magnetiles around then and still play with them. Magnetiles are great. And if you have another kid, they're a baby, you don't have to worry so much about like is this something they're gonna choke on? Kind of deal. They're always and they use them years and years, they'll keep building stuff out of them. Yeah, magnetiles are great for a smaller option, especially like for family to get. They can get pieces in groups. There's also other like Picasso tiles and other brands, and they lots of good options there, building-wise. Play couch, great recommendation. We have a climbing gym that we did. That's more like two or three, probably. Although our one-year-old plays on it. Oh, totally. Yeah, he like it's just oh, a balance bike. If you want to teach them how to ride a bike, yeah, uh balance bike is a great little gift that as soon as they're walking, they can start using them. Yeah. I think those are all good recs. Yeah. I think anything in that realm. Trying to think of things to stay away from. I don't know. I just really think the play couch is that's one of my favorite gifts that we've ever gotten them. And the nice part about it too, if you have more kids, you can do that as the first birthday gift that you do because having more play couches, they can build more things. Yeah, more pieces. And it's just really good pretend play. Yeah, it's great for pretend. It's also great because they're one and they can fall down, and it's nice to have a soft space. The only issue is it takes up room. So if it's a space concern, the tiles are better that they can be boxed up and put away. Totally. Yeah. No, that's I think we nailed it. We're never that brief, but look at that. Real opinions on that one. All right. One more voicemail.

Omaha Trip Ideas Beyond The Zoo

Hey Joe and Matt. On the last podcast, you guys were talking about the Omaha Zoo, and some friends and I travel together regularly, and they suggested Omaha for our next trip. What are other things that you like about the city? What are things that I just shouldn't think? Ooh, there's a lot of fun stuff to do in Omaha. Yeah. The zoo's awesome. Zoo's great. I will reiterate that the zoo is big and fun. Try to go when it's not too hot because you can there's some air conditioning, yeah, air conditioned areas and stuff, but it's hot and hilly. Yeah. Uh, what else do we like to do when we're there? College World Series goes on there. Yeah. I feel like we try to go every few years to that. That can be fun. That's busy. Really fun and busy. The downtown's gonna be packed. And I like their stadium. Like if you can go see a show, if anybody's performing there that you want to see, I think they have a great setup. And it's a good one to probably bring kids for their first one, too. I feel like it's not like it was a friend's trip, so I'm trying to think. We're so kids oriented when we go there. That's what I was like, the science center, whatever's cool. Uh, I'm trying to think downtown. There's so much fun stuff to go do. Yeah, there's a lot of good downtown stuff. That would be one that like we'd probably have to ask your sisters more about just because they're my sisters live in Omaha for anybody that's because they're adults that live there and probably do adult things occasionally. Grew up there. Yeah. I don't know. I think uh concert rec is probably great because you can schedule more around that. Yeah, they I mean they do. I I love that venue, and there are a lot of good restaurants and bars around that area that are it's usually easy to get like in and out to uh they have an awesome garden center. Oh, Vallas. Yeah, yeah. I don't know if you like pumpkin patches, but they have pumpkin patch is a little bit reductive. Yeah, well it's like a pumpkin theme park. Yeah, basically. And that's pretty fun. Yeah, I feel like again, that's kind of kid oriented, but it's again, we're so kid oriented when we go there. Maybe your friends are going with kids and these are good recommendations outside of that. I know all of our trips there have had nieces and nephews for the last 17 years. So exactly. We've been a little uh Yeah, it's what can we take anywhere from like four to ten kids to? Exactly. Yeah. Oh that's my best. That's yeah, that's really probably my best showing in that. Yeah, I thought you nailed it with concert, honestly. I love that venue. I went to the swimming Olympic trials there, and I we've been to shows there. It's where I saw Taylor Swift. My sisters got me tickets to see Taylor Swift for my high school graduation because I was a massive Swifty in high school. Yeah. And I just think it's a great venue. I have a lot of really fond memories of Taylor Gift. We had fun minigolfing that one time. Mini golfing? Were you not? I did you miss mini golfing? I don't remember that. Was it just me and maybe it was the guys and a lot of kids that we took minigolfing. I don't think I was there, but that's again still took kids. But if you're gonna mini golf, I feel like that's a Branson activity. I mean more like an athletic activity. Yeah, Okaboji. I don't know, Omaha specific. We'd have to work on that. But yeah. Have fun. Yeah. I think Omaha's a great, like, I think there's a lot more to do there than people think. Yeah. Very like accessible, central, yes, good-sized airport in terms of good rushing. Yeah. So enjoy.

Rate, Review, And Wrap

And on that note, rate and review the podcast and do all those things that we always ask you to do. Yeah. Yeah, it always helps. We'll be back next week. We will. All right. Talk soon.