The Box in the Snowbank Couldn't Hold Her

What happens when a life begins with abandonment? Gloria Wiebe's story starts with being placed in a box in a snowbank as a newborn—rejected by a family consumed by religious shame. But that first act of rejection would neither define nor defeat her.

Gloria takes us on an unforgettable journey through abandonment, trauma, and ultimately, profound healing. She shares the pivotal moment when, as a young mother, she looked at her children and made the decision to break free from destructive patterns. "Gloria, get up, stand up, shake it off now, change your life," she told herself—a declaration that marked the beginning of her transformation.

The conversation delves deep into how trauma moves through generations, creating patterns of shame and unhealthy relationships that can persist for decades. Gloria explains how writing her chapter for "Beautiful, Broken and Becoming" forced her to unearth memories so deeply buried she wasn't even aware they existed. With raw honesty, she describes choosing pen and paper over digital tools, needing to channel her emotions from heart to hand to page physically.

Now living back in her hometown of Newfoundland, where her story began, Gloria has dedicated herself to helping other women heal more quickly than she did. Her mission stems from profound wisdom: trauma isn't something to get over, but something to work through and integrate into your story. This perspective allows for true healing and growth.

Gloria's message resonates with hopeful determination: "You are worth it. You are so much stronger than you think." Her story proves that resilience isn't just about surviving difficulty—it's about transforming pain into purpose and breaking cycles that have persisted for generations.

Join us for this powerful conversation about reclaiming your voice, breaking generational chains, and discovering the strength that lies within even the most painful beginnings.

https://www.gloriashealinghaven.com/

http://gloriashealinghaven.com/

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I’m Julie Fairhurst, and this is where stories turn into power.

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Transcript

Welcome and Introduction

Speaker 1 0:14

Hi everyone, welcome to another episode of Women Like Me Stories and Business. I'm your host, julie Fairhurst, and I'm so happy that you've turned into this podcast to watch it and listen, because this lady, gloria Wiebe, is our guest and she is one of our authors in oh, where did it go? Where did it go? There? It is in our newest book, so this is our newest chapter book. Sorry guys, I don't have a green screen behind me. So it's called Beautiful, broken and Becoming. When you read the stories in this book, you'll understand exactly why that is the name. And it's real stories of women growing through chaos, self-doubt. And it's real stories of women growing through chaos, self-doubt and second chances. So Gloria has written in Chapter 4, and her title of her chapter is A Life Unstolen. They took my safety, my innocence and my voice. So I can't wait to dive into Gloria's story and chat a bit about that and lots of other things. So welcome, gloria, thank you so much for being here.

Speaker 2 1:24

Thank you, Julie. I'm very happy to be here and thank you for inviting me.

Speaker 1 1:28

Oh, you're welcome. So now you're in Canada. Whereabouts are you in Canada?

Speaker 2 1:35

I'm on the island of Newfoundland.

Gloria's Painful Beginning

Speaker 1 1:37

But you used to live in British Columbia right, yes, I did.

Speaker 2 1:40

Most of my adult life was British Columbia. I left Newfoundland when I was very young. I moved to the US with my sister after my mom passed away and then, of course course, my life began and now I'm in Newfoundland. I never thought I'd ever be back here living, but yeah.

Speaker 1 2:04

I love it. It's beautiful, so is that? So? Is Newfoundland actually home for you then?

Speaker 2 2:10

I was born in Newfoundland, yes, oh, yeah, okay now, and I'm actually living right now in the same town I was born in. Oh, Anybody had ever said that to me, Julie, I would have thought no way.

Speaker 1 2:22

Oh, I love that, I love that.

Speaker 2 2:25

I love it here. I miss the family. Of course we miss our kids, but there was a reason for moving here and that's another book, yeah exactly.

Speaker 1 2:36

Oh well, I'm so thankful that you're here. So, gloria, your story just is absolutely amazing. It's just what you went through throughout. Your entire life was just, and that you still turned out to be the beautiful Gloria that you are, and with all of that struggle you went through. I would like to start off, though, by just talking a little bit about when you were born, because this just basically set your life, and so you were thrown in a box, into a snowbank when you were a newborn baby.

Speaker 2 3:19

Yes, that's what I was told. I was definitely an outcast, if you will.

Speaker 1 3:25

Yeah, and that was because of a stepmother and a very religious family. And how dare you be an unwed mother, exactly, and bring shame upon us all? Oh, yes, so much shame yeah, but that but that that you said in your story really set the tone for um. You had a lot of abandonment issues. Yes, yeah, yeah go.

Abandonment Issues and Resilience

Speaker 2 3:55

It started, really, I think, with my father, whom I never did know. I was introduced to him once when I was 25, and I had two little children at the time, so his very first grandchildren. I was introduced by my birth mother to this man and his wife and has given their names, not saying that anything other than this is Mr and Mrs. I knew who he was and he did not acknowledge me whatsoever. He did not look at me, he did not look at my children.

Speaker 2 4:40

Years later, when I came down here, I met his wife again, did a DNA test because there were other children involved and they asked me to. I became very close to her. She's since passed away. I only had a short time with her, maybe two years, but it was amazing and I think that this is where my abandonment issues became known to me as an adult, like I really felt it because of the father and his reaction to me and he would not allow his wife to talk to the family about me. I was never to be mentioned and that's the way it was, and it caused some major issues after he passed and I moved here and then his wife wanted to be part of my life. So a lot of abandonment issues from the very beginning, as you'll note from my book um and that.

Speaker 2 5:53

Oh, I'm sorry, you go ahead that that led me to becoming very resilient. I am the most resilient woman that I have ever met and I know a lot of resilient women, yeah. So I thank God for that, because you know it makes you where it breaks you, as Kelly Clarkson's song goes, if it doesn't kill you, yes, yes, and yeah, I mean of kill you, yes, yes, and yeah, I mean.

Speaker 1 6:19

Of course, I know your story and, yes, so many people would have not made it through that. And so what do you think there was in you? Why are you so resilient? Like what do you think there's inside of you that caused you to to overcome?

Speaker 2 6:41

I was raised in a very religious home and I did rebel against that.

Speaker 2 6:49

But as I got older and really did some soul searching, did a lot of research, I have become very spiritual and I do truly believe that God did not bring me to that and through that for no reason, which brings me to the reason I wrote the book. I truly do believe I was put on this earth to help other women, and not just women, but basically right now I'm concentrating on women. I really love helping them get past all of the trauma and the abuse, because it does affect your life like totally affects your life every decision you make and so I'm wanting to really help them to have healthy relationships and do healthy decision making. And I did it all on my own so it took longer and I would like to really help so that it's faster for them. They have much more time to live a very healthy life and, you know, bring it forward. So I truly do believe that that's why I went through what I went through and I'm the stronger for it and I have to be to to help and give back.

Speaker 1 8:28

I love that, gloria, I just love that and I agree, I agree and I think that you have.

Breaking Cycles of Trauma

Speaker 1 8:35

So the trauma that you went through we won't get into the whole thing, because people can read the book if they want to, but and read your story but the traumas that you went through and the abusive relationships that you were in, and the wisdom that you have now, and the wisdom that you have now, and I think that so often we as women, sometimes we don't see or we know something inside of us but our heart and our brain maybe doesn't connect, so we're just carrying on in the same situation. It's funny because I have a girlfriend who I love to death and she's been married seven times and she's spectacular but she keeps doing what she's doing and she's realized and she said to me it's me, I'm the common denominator in all of this, and so with that awareness now she's able to work on avoiding what's going on with her that attracts her into those situations, and I think that that's so often women, maybe we're scared to even look at it.

Speaker 2 10:01

I think you're right, um, because when we are in that situation, um, we have in most cases we become very, um, codependent and people pleasing, and we don't realize that, but we are actually being taught to be that way and it becomes natural for us. So, to break through that, you have to become aware of what's happening and, like I said, for me it took a very long time of what's happening and, like I said, for me it took a very long time. I wish it had happened a whole lot sooner, but everybody goes at their own pace and again it goes back to you know the reason I went through it and the reason it's now that I'm speaking out about it. I mean, there was so much shame and you hide it. Yeah, you hide it.

Speaker 2 11:03

Everybody thought that I had the greatest life, you know, smiling all the time. I was very outgoing, still am. I love people, absolutely love people, and I love the interactions. I like the stories, I love connection and it's all part of my personality. But what I didn't realize was I had been manipulated into thinking in a way that I never would have chosen for myself. I'm very well educated. There's no reason for it except, like everybody who has a story similar to this realizes. It's just, it's in here. It's all that shame. It's all of that that you take on that you shouldn't you know, because you're not at fault.

Speaker 2 12:01

No, you truly are not at fault. Yeah, what you are going through, either at a very young age or later on in life, when you do encounter trauma or abuse, everybody reacts differently and in a lot of ways, trauma, in my belief, is not something that you ever get over. Now that's a positive thing. I don't mean that in a negative context. What I mean is, with trauma, you learn to work through it, because when you work through it, you can accept that. You don't ignore it. It's there, right, it's a part of you. So you take that, accept it, give it love and move forward. So that's part of my life. That's what made me who I am.

Speaker 2 13:01

How can I try to ignore that? It's? It's a part of me. It's ignoring me. It's not really giving myself the love and acceptance that I should. Um, and this is how I've helped myself throughout the years, from the time I was probably about 17 when I started to realize that my life was not a healthy life, and so it's quite a lot of work and quite a lot of years in there and some good. I mean, you know you can have trauma and abuse in your life but still have a lot of happy and wonderful memories. You know, in your life. It's not all bad, it's just that when the bad is happening.

Speaker 2 13:52

and you're in there, it feels that way. Yeah, and you're in there, it feels that way.

Speaker 1 13:55

Yeah, well, and I think when you talk about shame, shame is, it's just the worst, because when you feel shame, you hold back from life, you don't think you're worthy, you don't think you think everybody. You know, I remember one lady that wrote in one of my books a few years back and she said she'd go into a room and she felt like everybody knew but nobody did. But that was the shame that she was feeling from the experiences that she had gone through. And when you're feeling like that, it's really difficult to have good relationships.

Speaker 1 14:43

And I think the biggest thing for me anyway is and because you know, I've had my trauma issues as well but for me, you know, if we as women can't heal ourselves, what we don't maybe realize is that we're passing this shame along to our generations, our kids, our grandkids, like we truly are. Just because we don't talk about it doesn't mean it doesn't exist. And so I just feel that you know we may not have started it. You know you didn't start the trauma. Your mother probably didn't start it. You know where did it come from? It came from our past generations. But we can choose to stop it Exactly, and I think that it's so important.

Speaker 2 15:32

Yeah, it is. It's very important and you are absolutely correct, Like with, I've asked my daughter. She hasn't read. Let me rephrase that I asked my daughter what her opinion was and you know, I know she has the book and she says, Mom, I haven't read it yet, read it yet. So she has seen a major change in me over the years, both my son and my daughter, and my son and I talk about it more openly. My daughter and that was one of my, I wouldn't say, fears, but I was a little bit concerned about writing because I've never. Obviously, you know, you don't tell this to your children, right? But it's interesting because I don't know if in fact she hasn't read it or she has, but she doesn't want to talk about it, doesn't want to talk about it. So I thought, you know, next time I'm not going to ask, but it's, it's so true, Like the shame that I felt you're right, it didn't come from me, it.

Speaker 2 16:51

It started way back when, I mean, my birth mother was had the shame, because she was raised in a very strict religious home that you did not, you know, have sex. You just didn't before you were married. And of course, if you were pregnant then you were caught and that was the worst thing you could do to your family. You've now, you know, brought this shame onto the whole family and I'm sure that that had to come from somebody in her family, like maybe my grandmother or my great grandmother, I don't know.

Generational Shame and Healing

Speaker 2 17:33

But I know that it has come through the different generations and I know, with all the research that I've done, it's proven that you do. But even before you leave the womb, there are things that you are already involved in. Yes, you know you have had that, Like I did before I was born. I never did feel secure. I don't remember ever feeling secure and loved and wanted until the mom that raised me. I became very close to her and I became a caretaker and that's really where it all began for me. The outer part of it, life, I can see myself helping my mom, Always, like emotionally, yeah.

Speaker 1 18:47

Always.

Speaker 2 18:47

Yeah, so it does. You're absolutely right. It's generation after generation and I don't. I want to stop it here for me, and I want to stop it here for me. It's got to stop because I've got, oh boy, getting up in age. Now I have four granddaughters, one grandson and I have eight great grandchildren. Wow.

Speaker 1 19:21

Yeah, congratulations, that's awesome.

Speaker 2 19:25

Thank you. So I thought, wow, you know this is. It can't go on, it's got to stop. I mean, I want to step up and take this as far as I can because I want them to know, and take this as far as I can because I want them to know. I want to leave them with a legacy that, whether you're, you know, male or female yeah, but particularly all the daughters and the granddaughters out there and my own daughter you are worthy, you are a gift from God. Everybody is equal when they are put here on this earth. All of us.

Speaker 2 20:03

It's what we choose to do with our lives and we don't need the baggage of generations of shame. No, we're going to pick up our own baggage, yeah, so you know, let's go with that. Yeah, yeah, up our own baggage. So you know, let's go with that. I really do want it to stop and I really want to get into. I used to be a speaker at one time, many years ago, when I was quite young, and I'm thinking of I really do want to get into that arena again you have so much wisdom?

Speaker 1 20:41

You do, and I think that, yeah, you could well. You are helping others, but to be able to, you know, get up on stage and be able to speak to others in the same environment would be so helpful, would be so helpful. I think you know one thing when you were talking about your daughter and you know you're not sure if she's read the book, I mean, I totally get that for sure. I think what people sometimes don't understand is we want to blame our parents and then we want to blame our grandparents for the way things are, and certainly they are that way because of our past generations. But I have found no, this is just me, but I have found, by delving into my mom's past and understanding why she was the way, she was not excusing it because she could have gone to get help and she never did. Now that was a different generation as well, right, where they didn't reach out so much, but her trauma and her not getting help flew over to me and to my siblings. Now I eventually, in my I'm going to say my mid-30s, started to figure out some stuff and, thank goodness, knock on wood, my kids are doing okay. My grandkids, I can see they're going to be better. But for you know, I don't know anything about your daughter, your family, but I'm just going to say, just as an example if your daughter was having issues right or somebody was having issues about their parent, understanding exactly what they went through is a light bulb that makes you go well, no wonder.

Speaker 1 22:44

I just want to say really briefly I have stepsisters, I have a big family, and one of my stepsisters, she read my book, my story, the Julie Fairhurst story, and then she messaged me and she said why didn't I know about this, about my mom, her stepmom? And I said, well, you were young when it happened. I don't know, like again, we don't talk about these things, right. And she said you know, I always thought she hated me and I said she never hated you, she hated herself. And now my stepsister in her early 50s is going through some healing on her own. And this is why I say, like we come up with all these things in our head. That sometimes is not true, but understanding where it comes from, you know, now she's woken up and you know, like I can't imagine what it was like for her growing up, thinking that she hated her Because she didn't hate her, she just hated herself.

Speaker 2 23:58

True, yeah, true yeah, yes, and I understand where she's coming from.

Speaker 1 24:03

Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 24:05

Yeah.

Speaker 1 24:06

But it is awareness. It is awareness, yes, and being brave enough, and that's what I think. That that's why I think that it's so fabulous that I know you work with men and women, but I, but for me, I just think we hold the glue.

Speaker 2 24:22

We do, we do, and the more women I talk with, like over over the last, you know, at least the last three decades things have changed so much when I talk to women now, when I compare it to even 30 years ago, like how they open up and how we are actually helping each other and bonding with so many women across the globe. Of course, with Zoom and everything that we have now, it makes it much easier, but still it amazes me and it's really good to see it. And going back to my daughter, I will tell you this she is an absolute wonderful person. I mean I can't believe sometimes that she is from my genes. I mean she's amazing. She's an amazing woman. She truly is.

Speaker 1 25:26

Well, she's seen your resilience.

Speaker 2 25:29

Yes, and she is very resilient. I will definitely give her that, yeah. And she's got two children, the boy, the son, that the only grandson I have and my granddaughter and they are amazing children. And her husband Wow, I don't call him my son in law, he's my son in love, because I just love that man. You know, they work so well together and I just go back. I'm so happy that they have that because that's what I wanted way back when yeah.

Speaker 1 26:11

That shows that. Here's a perfect example. Gloria, you went through. When people read your story, they're going to be blown away. Everything you went through you went through. And then you picked yourself up. You said, no, I'm not going there. And now look at everything you went through and now your daughter's living a better life.

Speaker 2 26:37

Yes.

Speaker 1 26:38

You know, and this is why it's so important that people deal with stuff.

Speaker 2 26:43

Yes, it is, it is, you're right, it is. It's very important, not only for them but, like you say, the whole family and the generations to come. Yeah, really yeah, I mean, a woman has much more strength, in my opinion, than a man.

Speaker 1 27:03

Oh, I agree.

Writing Her Story and Finding Peace

Speaker 2 27:06

But they do. I mean, why do we carry and birth children? A man could never take that, a man could never survive that. No, no.

Speaker 1 27:24

In my opinion, and I think with that, you know, we are that glue that holds the family together, and when we can heal, then we can pass that along to our siblings or to our well, hopefully our siblings too, but at least to our children and our grandchildren, and break that chain and so we can live a better life, and then so they can as well. Yeah, gloria, what was it like writing your story?

Speaker 2 27:56

I was surprised. I knew, I knew that I had to write this and I mean, I still want to write the whole book, but I really knew that this was the time. It had to come out now and I thought it was going to be a breeze. Oh, julie, was I wrong? It was very emotional for me, very, very deep. It forced me to go back into my mind and I dug up things that were buried so deep. I wasn't even aware it happened. So it was not a piece of cake doing this. No, no for sure, it was cleansing. It was when it was all said and done, like when it was out there, but as I was writing it, I had to do it.

Speaker 2 29:10

Now this may seem very strange, because we have computers and we have AI and we have all of this that can help. Yeah, I use paper and pen because I had to get it from in here, through here and onto the paper. Oh, it's the way I had to do it, yeah, and the tears flowed and I was not what you would call a happy dancing person around the house for several weeks. My husband, thank God, was very supportive and he said you go ahead, write it the way you need to write it and he said I'll just take it and type it for you. So he helped me all the way through. Yeah, I, you know, I absolutely am so blessed to have somebody who will, you know, sit there through all of this. I mean, it's not easy for him.

Speaker 2 30:13

No, of course he loves me and he doesn't want to, and there's nothing that he hadn't heard before. Because I've been very open about my past and I feel this takes me probably off topic a tiny wee bit. That's okay, and that is if I hadn't coped the way that I had. And if people don't talk about it and this is why I'm so passionate about getting out there in front of women is the mental illness that we have around us these days, like especially now, it is truly just abundant and something needs to be done. And I think I would have been on that other side of the fence if I had not taken it from inside and brought it out, even when I was young. But I would do that in my own way, in private, yeah, with nobody there, but I would talk to. I remember sitting, talking to my dolls and my teddy bears. Um, I would sit them up and I would like have a class with them.

Speaker 2 31:28

I don't know whatever made me do that. It sounds really weird, but I was just a little kid, yeah, and but when I look back at it, I think you know that's what got me through this. I'm not. I'm not mentally fatigued, I'm not. I was on the fence at one point, I truly believe. I was on the fence once and I could have gone one way or the other and thank God, I picked myself up and that was then. I didn't have control over that and I said, gloria, get up, stand up, shake it off now, change your life. And it's not as simple as that, it doesn't just happen. But I remember the day that I did that and I was in my teens, with young children, two young children and I looked at them and I thought you know what? I have to do something about this, I can't just push it aside. Yeah, and so that's where it starts. But I think I really truly would have.

Speaker 2 32:42

I mean, I do have one member of my family, and you speak of large families, my goodness, julie, my parents were never divorced or anything, but obviously I've been divorced and my husband has been divorced, so I have these two marriages. I was married once before and I've always had a good relationship with any of my stepchildren, or you know the mother-in-law that I have with my husband. She just passed away and, oh God, she was just such a wonderful, wonderful, but I was very close to them and I've always, I've always been very authentic. I am who I am. No-transcript. And again caused by the stepmother. She was the youngest in the family and when I look at her and think what could have happened, you know all the medication no life.

Speaker 2 34:11

It just scares me that so much of this is going on today, so much you know mental anguish because of things that we've locked up inside, that we've carried and wasn't ours to carry to begin with.

Speaker 1 34:24

But I'm so glad things are changing.

Speaker 2 34:27

I am just so, so glad. Yes.

Speaker 1 34:30

So am I, so am I. Wow, gloria, I just really want to thank you for being you and your courage, and you know, I know how difficult it is to write your story, because I've done it and I've, of course, helped plenty of women do it as well, but I appreciate that you were able to just forge through it. Some women drop out, you know, and I understand and I always tell them that you know when you're ready. There's a spot for you to write your story in one of the books. Just let me know when you're, when you're ready. But it is a difficult thing, but it is so needed, so needed and, um, I just I really thank you for doing that. Gloria, I hate to say it, but we gotta go. So what would you like to say in closing? Imagine you're standing on that stage and you're you. All those women are there and they're, they're needing some encouragement, what, what?

Final Thoughts and Encouragement

Speaker 2 35:35

would you say in closing? First of all before I meant before I answer that I want to thank you, the job that you're doing. Without you, julie, including myself, a lot of women out there would not have gotten their story out. I thank you for your help. I think you're doing an amazing and a very well-needed thing for us women today. Thank you, definitely. Thank you, gloria. I want to thank you for that. Well, you're welcome. And to all those women out there, what I would say is, if you can read the book, but if not, you can always drop me an email, go onto my website. I will answer any email that comes in. But I want to say you are worth it. You are so much stronger than you think you are. You are absolutely amazing and, when pointed in the right direction, boy, you are going to turn this world around.

Speaker 1 36:47

Oh, love that. I got shivers, I got goosebumps. I love that, love that, gloria. Thank you so much for doing that. So everyone who's watching and listening, we will have Gloria's details for you in the show notes so you'll be able to get in touch with her if you want to. Please don't hesitate. If you feel that there's something about Gloria that you've connected with, just drop her a line. She's a lovely, open lady and, yeah, don't be shy, don't let your shame hold you back. Absolutely not, okay, gloria. Well, thank you so much for doing this. I appreciate you very much and everyone. We will see you again on the next episode of Women Like Me Stories in Business. Bye, everybody.