The Cost of “I’m Fine”: Connie Cotter on Joy, Purpose & Living Fully

“I’m fine” might be one of the most expensive phrases high-achieving women say.

When life looks good on paper but something still feels missing, it does not mean you are ungrateful. It may be a signal that your soul is asking for more truth, more joy, more alignment, and more purpose.

In this episode of Women Like Me Stories & Business, Julie Fairhurst sits down with Connie Cotter, a faith-forward, joy-driven transformation coach and certified high-performance coach, to talk about what it really means to move from a life that looks fine into one that feels deeply fulfilled.

Connie shares how her years in IT training and leadership taught her to optimize systems, and how she now applies that same wisdom to helping women optimize their lives from the inside out. Together, we explore why “good enough” can quietly become a cage, why women often feel guilty for wanting more, and how joy can become a daily choice rather than a fleeting feeling.

We also talk about Connie’s work around Beyond the Good Life, and how “more” does not always mean more money, more status, or more achievement. Sometimes more means better relationships, deeper faith, greater impact, more freedom, and the ability to give generously from a full heart.

If you are facing a life transition, feeling burned out, wondering who you are beyond your roles, or quietly asking, “Is this all there is?” — this conversation will meet you right where you are.

In this episode, we talk about:

Why “I’m fine” can hide burnout, disconnection, and quiet longing
The difference between happiness and lasting joy
Why high-achieving women often feel guilty for wanting more
How to know when you are busy but not aligned
What it means to move beyond the good life into a fulfilled life
How faith, joy, and purpose can guide your next chapter
Connie’s three-question reset for clarity
Why the second half of life can become your most powerful season
The simple daily habit Connie recommends for restoring calm and wonder

Sometimes the life that looks good is still asking to feel honest. This conversation is a beautiful reminder that wanting more does not make you selfish. It may be the doorway to the life you were meant to live next.

If this episode speaks to you, please subscribe, leave a comment, and share it with a friend who keeps saying, “I’m fine,” when you know there is more waiting for her.

If this conversation stirred something in you… good. That’s where change begins.

Make sure you’re subscribed, share this with someone who needs it, and if you’re ready to tell your story, step into your voice, or build a life that actually feels like yours… You’re in the right place.

I’m Julie Fairhurst, and this is where stories turn into power.

Go to my website if you would like to be a guest on the Women Like Me Stories & Business in the toolbar click Let's Podcast

Julie's Website

Transcript

Welcome And Why Fine Isn’t Enough

SPEAKER_01 0:02

Hello, everyone, and welcome to another episode of Women Like Me Stories in Business. I'm your host, Julie Fairhurst, and today I'm joined with Connie Cotter, a faith-forward, joy-driven transformation coach who helps high achievers move from a life that looks fine into one that feels fulfilled. Connie is a certified high performance coach with more than 23 years in IT training and leadership. So, Connie, welcome. Thank you so much for being here.

SPEAKER_02 0:36

Oh, thank you for having me, Julie. I'm super excited for our conversation.

SPEAKER_01 0:40

Oh, good. Oh, why don't we start by you telling us a little bit about who you are and the work that you're doing today?

SPEAKER_02 0:47

Excellent. So, as you said in the introduction, the work I'm doing today is coaching people who were in the same space I was about eight years ago. Where I have, I mean, I have a great husband. He makes me laugh every day. I had the kids, I had a successful, progressing career. And, you know, from the outside, everything looked fine. But I've I felt like something was missing and I couldn't quite put my finger on it. And part of it was like, you know, is this all there is? Is there more? And I worked with my own certified high performance coach and discovered that, you know, to stop pretending that and realize that there really is more. And it's turned out to be what I believe is my calling to help other people reconnect with what matters to them and then live aligned and joy-filled lives.

SPEAKER_01 1:42

That's well, all we can wish for, right? So you describe yourself as a faith forward, joy-driven transformation coach. So what does that mean to you?

SPEAKER_02 1:54

So faith forward is, I believe I'm a I'm a practicing Catholic, and

Faith Forward Coaching And Joy

SPEAKER_02 2:00

I believe that God has given all of us a reason, purpose, value to bring into this world. And so whether people believe in God or universe or higher power, there is something I think beyond each of us. And so I am faith forward, like I said, and I want to people help people discover that value because through my my years of IT experience, every single person has something to bring. And so I want to bring that out. And sometimes people need a little encouragement and joy-filled, that's my life right now. And I think I differentiate that from happiness because happiness is often tied to an external event, but joy is a choice, and it really has turned into my compass. I'm like, if something brings me joy, I'm gonna keep pursuing that. And so I've I've called my my framework the joy-filled life blueprint. And so, you know, purpose sometimes bees is a little heavy, but it's all in there. Yeah, and so yeah, I just I want people to connect with what joy is for them and then live that most amazing life because it can happen, it really can. I used to be one of those, I'm like, really? You know, somebody really joy-filled.

SPEAKER_01 3:20

And I'm like, yes, I'm one of those people. Yeah, that's fabulous. That's fabulous. So, what does fine often look like on the outside? Because you say that you help achievers move from fine to fulfilled. And and fine is such a word that, you know, we use it every day. Oh, how are

The High Achiever Fine Mask

SPEAKER_01 3:40

you doing? Oh, I'm fine, but are you really fine? So, what does that look like on the outside?

SPEAKER_02 3:46

So are you asking from like an outside observer, or are you wanting to talk about the person?

SPEAKER_01 3:51

Well, I'm just thinking, you know, from the outside, how do how does that look when when people are walking around saying that they're fine all the time?

SPEAKER_02 3:59

Yeah, it's it becomes kind of like a mask. And I think one area in this world is that human connection, I think is getting thinner and thinner. And so if someone like you just said, how are you doing? Fine? I really, and then as you know, like myself, I would be like, okay, do they really want to know? Or are they just trying to be polite? And so you you're it's this yes, no. Do I do I share more? Do I not? And you know, it's the person who's juggling multiple projects. I was I was talking to a former colleague, corporate colleague, where you know, this year they have to work on five projects. Last year they worked on two, same staff. I'm like, so how's it going? You fine with a smile, like it's not. Yeah, yeah. And so that fine is it's like that cover, very surface, superficial word. And for the person experiencing it, it's that internal conflict of I really could use some help. I don't know where to go. I've been able to manage these before, and now I can't, and you know, I don't want to burden anyone, and it it can be all sorts of voices and and thoughts with inside.

SPEAKER_01 5:21

Yeah. Why do you think so many high achievers stay stuck in good enough for so long?

SPEAKER_02 5:33

There's always that fear of the unknown. And a part of my framework is, you know, there's the caged life where you don't feel like you have any choices. And then the comfortable life, which is what it is. It's comfortable, it's known, you know what to expect. It might be really not pleasant, and yet it's comfortable. And then there's the charged life where you know you have new energy and exuberance and joy and fun and the challenges, and it's that that momentum and that movement and that motivation to keep going. And it can be it's hard, it takes some work to get out of that good enough. And it's it, there just I guess there comes a point, you know. I'm like, okay, is this all there is? And I was in that good enough for a very long time, many years, and I was happy. So, you know, I was it came to a point where just one day I'm like, I'm happy, but could I be happier? And every person, I think, not every person, I can't speak for the whole world, but most people will come to that point of yeah, huh? I wonder if there is something more. Yeah. And because we are all, I think, wired for that more, you know, to keep meaningful pursuits, keep striving for something little. It doesn't have to be big and grand, but it's just moving yourself and getting to that next level.

SPEAKER_01 7:12

I I I look at, I guess, as you're talking, I'm thinking to myself, and it sounds a lot like growth. Like we're meant to grow, we're meant to change. Yes. And even though we're happy and it's good enough, that's not that's not helping us to advance and grow.

SPEAKER_02 7:32

Correct. Yes, growth 100%. Personal development, personal growth, career growth, you know, growth in your family. I'm like every day is a progression.

SPEAKER_01 7:43

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 7:44

And, you know, I'm not the same person I was last week or three months ago or a year ago.

SPEAKER_00 7:50

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 7:50

And so technically, we're never really staying the same. We like to believe that, but you know, circumstances change and things like that. And so it becomes that point. I think I'd I've done some reading on the brain. I'm not an expert by any means, but I agree, humans are meant to grow and to move forward.

SPEAKER_01 8:13

So you spent 23 years in an IT industry. Was there a moment when you realized that you were being called into a different kind of work?

From IT Process Fixer To Coach

SPEAKER_02 8:31

It wasn't part of the IT career that was that calling. It was when I started working with the my own certified high performance coach. What I realized though was the best part of my job in the IT corporate world was I was in business analysis. So I worked in IT and I helped teams redesign and optimize their processes. So, how can they make their daily lives better? And the best part about it was I didn't have the answers. I just got to be really curious, be like that outside observer, and go, have what about this? Have you looked at that? Tell me more about this, and getting those people to discover what they had likely just been doing for so many years or so many months, just kind of on autopilot.

SPEAKER_00 9:25

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 9:25

And so seeing like the light bulbs come on and optimize. And I used to run workshops for these. And you know, since we spend so much time in the office, I'm like, I brought toys and play-doh and candy, and so try and make it fun a little bit. Yes. And when I was going through my certification, I realized about halfway through, I'm like, I'm gonna do the same thing for people's lives. So rather than optimizing processes, I'm helping people optimize their whole life, bringing that joy, bringing that connection, bringing that clarity to make their whole lives better. And so then that kind of became my calling. I'm like, I love that part of business. Let's do this for people with their whole life.

SPEAKER_01 10:11

Oh, exactly. So you created Beyond the Good Life. What inspired that name?

SPEAKER_02 10:19

As we have been talking, the good life, you know, it's good enough. Good enough, good life. And I want to encourage people to go beyond that. I've been learning in my entrepreneurial journey and and marketing and and words that a lot of people don't think about that beyond space. You know, this is good enough. Some people call it next chapter, and so I'm wanting people to one recognize where they're feeling fine or it's good enough. Okay, maybe this is the best it gets. And the best is always that beyond. I'm trying to remember who said it, but like the the greatest successes come one mile after everybody else stops. And so if we only go as far as everybody else goes, we're we're missing. And so let's take those couple extra steps and see what's beyond where we are currently comfortable.

SPEAKER_01 11:19

Yeah. Wow. Well, why do you think some people feel guilty for wanting more? And you know, it it reminds me of, you know, people sometimes I've heard many women say, Oh, well, I just want to be comfortable.

Guilt About Wanting More

SPEAKER_01 11:36

Oh, I I don't need to be rich. I just want to be comfortable. And I'm always thinking, well, if you win the lottery, you can throw that check over here because you don't need it. You know, like I don't know. What what what do you what do you think about people who are feeling guilty about wanting more when their life is already good?

SPEAKER_02 11:53

Oh my goodness, I it's me. I was raised, you know, be happy with what you have. We have enough. What we have is good enough, so we didn't excel beyond things. I received messages that if you have money and success beyond what most people have, you know, you could be greedy for wanting more and wanting more and wanting more, or you become snobby or snobby, hoity-toity, you know, better than. And so that was a lot of messaging that I had to get over. And more, think about what I could do with more. If I have more clients, I can impact more people and create a bigger ripple effect of goodness and joy and awesomeness. If I have more and acquire more money, I can help more people. My husband and I, you know, we we dig water wells for people who don't even have the basic necessities of clean water, a safe home, nutritious food. And so we want to do more of that because like people don't even have the basics, that just breaks my heart. And so more money for me gives me the opportunity to help more people that way as well. And so it's, you know, it's depending on kind of what you're gonna use the more for, I believe it's we should use it for good.

SPEAKER_01 13:23

Oh, I I agree, I agree. And we the and you know, whether we like it or not, we live in countries where we have to have money. It's just if you don't have money, you're in big trouble. So you should have a good relationship with that and be and be willing to accept it in. And I agree. We have in in women like me, we have a group of ladies in Kenya. There's 26 of ladies, and they have just written their fifth book. We sell those books for proceeds for them. And you know, you know, they they need it, they desperately need it. And so we uh we're happy to be able to help them, but we couldn't help them if books didn't sell. We couldn't help them if if we didn't have any funds for the authors to contribute right to those books. Yes, yeah, for sure. Yeah. So how how how do you help people during major life transitions? And what kind of transitions do clients often face?

SPEAKER_02 14:25

It's an interesting journey and that word

Transitions Clarity And Three Questions

SPEAKER_02 14:29

transformation. A lot of my clients, many of them have come to me from the purely professional side. You know, I want to be better at my job, I want to have less stress, I want to be more organized, I want to lead my team better. And the first step is just figuring out where they are, like what truly matters and what it starts with clarity. That's for my for me the foundation. When I know what I'm supposed to be doing and where I want to go and what I want to achieve, then you can put the pieces in place. But when you've got all of these options or these external pressures coming in, then the clarity can kind of get muddled. And so we get some clarity and then we work through. I have a it's I've been trained in a science-backed, research-backed framework, which is progressive, but yet it's personalized to everybody because everybody's journeys, experiences, life experiences are different. And as my clients go through this process, what happens is what often starts with something professional ends up being something relationship is what improves their communication, how they show up in situations with family, friends, with their colleagues. And so when we get through the through the process, then it's like, oh, yeah, well, I came here to work on my team, but I have a really I can talk to my daughter a whole lot better. Our relationship is deepening. I didn't expect that. So it's whole life. It really is, it's the foundation with whole life approach.

SPEAKER_01 16:09

Yeah. So how can someone gain clarity when they feel stuck?

SPEAKER_02 16:15

I love this question. And it's not hard, it just takes a little intention of pausing for a minute. And I have I call it the three question reset is what am I pretending is fine? They're they're stuck, and so usually it's because there's so many things going on, or they're trying to multitask, which you can't. Your literally your brain only goes on one thing, and so it's called task jumping more than multitasking. And so you pause and like, what am I pretending that's fine? What do I really need right now? And it could be a glass of water, you know. Maybe you haven't drank any water in the last hour. Maybe you've been sitting, so you need to stand up. Maybe you need some clarity and you want to bounce some ideas off. So what do you I really need right now? And then what is one small action I can take right now? Maybe step outside, get some fresh air. There's been times I just walk out. My husband works in his office, and I'll just walk out and I'm like, can I have a hug? Just you know, I'm like, I just need a hug, whatever it happens to be. And so I think the the work that I guide my clients through is not complex, it's the simple pause, breathing, you know, take a deep breath, go outside, feel the sunshine. If you're close to a beach, feel the sand or the grass, and just take those couple of moments and then you just build on them, and then you know, we build some new habits and that sort of thing. But when you're not clear, I've learned this the hard way. I just keep plowing through and plowing through, and it'll eventually get clearer, and it never does. No, pick that up and look around.

SPEAKER_01 18:18

Yes, yeah. Well I've I find this this interesting. What's the difference for people for being busy and being aligned? How can we tell the difference if we're just busy or if we're actually in alignment?

SPEAKER_02 18:33

So that's such a good question. And I still have challenges with that at times because I want to get a lot done. And so if I'm busy, you know, hey, do you ever have like the list of things? And it's like, oh, I really don't want to do that thing because that's gonna take a little more work. I'm gonna have to think about it, it's gonna take a little longer. But if I do these five things, check, check, check, check, look, I did the work, I got five things. What was that really moving forward with the intention for the day or for the week or the month, the quarter, the year? And I I've been learning over time that sometimes doing less, so number of things, quantity of things, but the quality of that work, you know, I may do one thing in the morning, but I'm focused on getting clear on what that looks like, breaking it down into steps, doing those things so that they all align within a box, for example. Yeah, and the distractions come in, and then it's like, is this distraction helping me with this? More often than not, no. And then having the discipline to say, I will get to that later, because there's always an email coming in, a direct message, something. And so you kind of got to put the blinders on and figure out what is the intention and where do I want to go? And so getting people can to connect with what matters to them, even if you're in a corporate job still, you know, where you feel like all the rules or the goals are coming down on you, I believe you can still be from a space of what matters to me. How can I show up in the best way to complete these tasks and not just take everything as like this, you know, sort of dumping ground and then figuring it out?

SPEAKER_01 20:48

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 20:48

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 20:50

When I was doing my research on you, I I found an area where you talk about rewriting your identity. So who are we when the roles we once held

Rewriting Identity In Life’s Second Half

SPEAKER_01 21:05

start to change? How are we right rewriting our identity?

SPEAKER_02 21:12

For so many of us, I think women, especially, just if you're in the mom role, you we're always gonna be moms. I have I have two children, you know, so that's not gonna change. I'm you know, they're gonna my daughter's 35, 36 now. Oh my goodness. And so the role of mom or the title of mom is always gonna be there, but it shifts. And what we have in our careers, you know, whether it's the job title or the labels and those sorts of things. And I don't think we're taught to ever really connect with me, Connie, as a person. You go through elementary school and high school and you go into college, and then you just jump right into most of us did right into your career when they're you're an employee, a supervisor, a manager, but and you just keep progressing. And then I'm a wife, I'm a daughter, I'm and so all of a sudden it's all of those can be shifting. Okay, my child goes off to college, so they get married, so now I have a family. Okay, I'm still mom, but what does that mean? Or I've climbed the corporate ladder, I'm sitting up here as an executive vice president, and I'm getting ready for retirement. What does that mean? And so all of a sudden, what seemed like a solid foundation starts to get a little shaky, and it can be scary when this is what I've done for 20 years. I've been a mom for 26 years, and now what do I do? And so that's where clarity starts again. What matters inside? And a lot of people have come to me and they're like, you know, I'm I'm getting ready in this stage, and they're like, Well, what did you like to do when you were younger? I don't know about you, but I can't remember when I was 30 what I like to do. And it has likely changed, you know. So you don't just do what did you do before the kids were born? I don't know, that was 27 years ago, whatever you know, the time frame is. And and we're all different people because we now have different experiences. And so what matters to you? And sometimes it's like, I have no idea. Because for so long, these other identities and roles have been running the show, and so it can seem scary, and that's it helped me. That's why working with a coach, you know, someone who believes in them before they believe in themselves. Yes, someone who doesn't have the answers. I'm not gonna tell someone who they are or what matters to them. I can ask questions and help them discover inside. It's like, oh, I never thought of that. Or let's try this habit, try this thing for a week and see what comes out. And so then it's like this discovery of this whole new world that doesn't rely on the external for that fulfillment.

SPEAKER_01 24:30

It's almost like you have we have, especially women, we have so many roles from the moment we're born until wherever. And but we forget our, we forget us.

SPEAKER_02 24:45

Yes. And it's always like, you know, make sure the kids are fed, make sure the husband's fed, make sure the boss is happy, make sure my friends are happy, yeah, make sure the kids are. Yes, yeah, yes, and the aging parents, a hundred percent.

SPEAKER_01 25:01

Yeah, yeah. How can someone use the wisdom? The I love this, the wisdom of their past without being trapped by an old identity.

SPEAKER_02 25:13

Oh, that's a great question. You are such a good host, podcast host. These are awesome questions. I love it. Yeah, because sometimes the past is you either want to run screaming from it, I don't ever want to live that way again, you know, or not gonna make that mistake again. And or if I go forward, it could be kind of scary. And it can be hard to detach the emotions from it. And let's just look at objectively what happened in a given situation. And again, it takes that pause, which is really hard in this world where it seems like you got to go faster, faster, faster, to find that pause and look back. Okay, so objectively, I saw this, I reacted this way, I did this, I observed this, but you don't know truly what other people thought or felt. All you can do do is observe. And that one took me a while to get my head kind of wrapped around. I'm like, well, they were feeling this, and they had, I don't know what they were feeling, I don't know what they were thinking. Yes, you know, and we can sometimes skew the words that we hear because we want to hear a certain thing from someone. So again, it's really connecting inside and then just going, okay, that worked, it didn't work, not right or wrong, good or bad. It's from a business analysis IT perspective, it's data, it's just information. And then you can take that piece worked. Maybe I'll tweak this. And some of my clients, we do in these relationships and conversations like role plays. Like if they need to have a conversation with their spouse or with their coworker, let's try it, let's practice. How do you want to show up? How do you think that person's gonna act? And then I can pretend like that person and we can kind of work some of that out to kind of practice going into different situations. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 27:19

Why can the second half of life become one of our most powerful seasons? So I think so many of us, especially women, we think we're done. Yeah. Like even for myself back in 2016, 17, I'm like getting really burnt out. I'm really done over here. But what's over there? And that was it was terrifying.

SPEAKER_02 27:47

Yeah, yeah. It's like I've done all of this, I just want to rest. I had a client say that. And then, you know, I've done all of this and there's just no fire left, it's gone. So I want to tell you when I hit 50 and I was doing this whole process, I just decided to start over. So letting y'all know I am nine years old. I'm literally going through. So the first one and two, I was a little more mature because I could walk and talk and feed myself. But I'm nine years old. And so I'm like, hmm, what does a nine-year-old do? You know, kind of test the boundaries a little bit, be a little spunky, sometimes thinking I'm more mature than I am, sometimes realizing that I don't know everything and that others can help me. And I think this is the best time because those all those things that we carried for so long, and like you said, from the day we were born, this role, that role, do this, don't do that, show up like this, don't show up like that. Now we can start shedding those things, and this can be like the best time. The best time. I play more now. I think that's another thing I want to bring to all my clients is play. We don't play as adults. Who said that we had to grow up out of play? I don't think anybody said it's just society.

SPEAKER_01 29:11

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 29:12

I love those adult coloring books. Yes, yes, adult coloring books, and yeah, like even just sometimes like fidget toys. And I'm a huge baby Yoda fan, so I I carry one when I fly. He we were traveling during COVID, and he had his little mask on his doll, and I had mine, and yeah, 100%.

SPEAKER_01 29:34

Yeah, dance in the grocery store. Yeah, yeah. Well, how is your work rooted in purpose and guided by grace? So, how does your faith influence the way you coach?

SPEAKER_02 29:48

Again, I don't do this alone. I I believe that this is what God put me on

Faith Fear Calling And Burnout Proof Growth

SPEAKER_02 29:54

this planet for. And before all of my sessions, I ask the Holy Spirit for some guidance so that I bring my best self to the to the relationship and to the session. I pray for my clients to be in their best space, knowing and trusting me that I am there for them. This is their time. And often with my high achievers, this is one hour a week when they kind of get to close all the things off and then connect with themselves. And it's it's a sacred space. It's private with the one-on-one coaching, it's private with the group. It's I do in group cohorts again for that safe space. And so my purpose is to find and extract, discover all of that God-given talent that we all have, and then guide it through grace. I can't force it out of people, you know. We have I have to create that space for them to exhale, to breathe in and go, okay, now I can connect. And so it's rooted in my purpose, which is given to me by God, and then guided by his grace to create that space for my clients.

SPEAKER_01 31:22

Well, how can how can faith help someone take bold action even when they feel afraid? And and and I like what you said earlier, you know, it can be God, it can be universe, you know, whatever that that is for you. But how how does that help people to take take bold action?

SPEAKER_02 31:43

I I'd like to define the word bold as relative. So what is bold for me, and I share it with you, and you could go, Connie, that's a piece of cake. That's not a big deal. Or it could be, you know, like I'm climbing this huge mountain with just myself, and you'd be like, okay, that's crazy bold. Yeah. And so again, it's personalized, and for that faith, we can't go through this life alone. Like, we can't. I mean, if you just imagine sometimes this is how I like you have to break all the ways down. If there was no other people here, I wouldn't be able to survive. I just I couldn't do everything, the planting the grocery or the vegetables and watering things, and you know, my car runs out of gas and there's no gas. I'm like, we all need other people, and I believe that there's the force, God, universe, that is a that constant. So even when I am feeling like there's no humans around, there is that love of God that I rely on. I don't always feel it all the time. Sometimes I get a little frustrated. Sometimes I'm like, can you help me?

SPEAKER_00 33:11

Hello, hello.

SPEAKER_02 33:14

And you know, sometimes I've I there was a meme or an image on Facebook of a little girl that was explaining that, you know, if you ask God for courage, he's gonna put you in situations where you develop courage. He doesn't just give you courage, you know, and if you ask for strength, he's gonna put you in situations where you can build those muscles and build that strength. And if you ask for patience, he's gonna put you in situations that are gonna try your patience so that you build your patience, and that little, and I was like, wow, okay, yeah, that's a great analogy.

SPEAKER_01 33:57

Yeah, yeah, yeah. How do people know the difference between a passing idea and a deeper calling?

SPEAKER_02 34:10

That deeper calling it never goes away. So my deep so my calling right now, like we've been talking about, is to be this transformation coach driven by joy. That's my but I didn't have that as the niggling or the calling. Like I didn't have that eight, nine years ago. What I had the niggling that never went away was there's got to be something more, there's something I'm missing. And I would read a book and listen to a podcast, and I would do some exercises, and I'm like, okay, and then three months would be like okay, there's there's something missing. I don't know what it is. And then I'd sign up for a course and I'd take the course, and then it would be good. And then it, and so whether it's entrepreneurship or looking for a different position in a different company in a different role or whatever it happens to be, if it keeps coming up, it's it's something you need to pay attention to because again, it's I believe it's that value, and God is gonna keep tapping you on the shoulder and putting things in your perspective and going, I'm gonna keep asking, I'm gonna keep asking until you listen. Yes, it's exactly the passing idea. It that's what it is, it's passing. It might be something, however, it could lead you to that niggle that is the real thing.

SPEAKER_01 35:37

Well, what about someone who feels the nudge towards change but keeps ignoring it?

SPEAKER_02 35:47

I asked the I have a I have a potential client, actually two clients, right? Potential two clients right now who are in in that space. And that I talk to them and they're like, yeah, I know. I know. And so so what's the hesitation? And both of them, the answer is fear. And so the the known not so good versus the unknown could be totally amazing or could be worse. Staying with the known, not so good, at least I know what it is. And so then we're having those discussions on life is gonna happen, uh time continues to pass. Uh if nothing changes, uh time passes. But if you as your individual, your mindset, your thoughts, your behaviors stay the same and you don't progress, what's gonna be different three months from now, six months from now? Or if you've been sitting on it, yeah, I I wanted to do this last summer. We're recording this in June. So what it what changed over the last 12 months? If you had started changing a year ago, where could you be now?

SPEAKER_01 37:11

Right.

SPEAKER_02 37:12

And so it's it's just helping that person go that next level deeper. What's behind that? What's behind that? And again, I want to create that safe space. It's not a judgment. I've been there and I know what this work can do.

SPEAKER_01 37:26

Yeah, yeah. Well, sometimes uh you get those tiny little nudges, and sometimes you just get hit upon the head. Yes, that's true. But I always say, you know what? You're gonna go. You can either go kicking and screaming or you can go with a smile on your face. It's really your choice, but you're gonna go. Right. 100%. Yes. Burnout. Burnout, nasty, nasty. So, how can high achievers pursue growth without burning themselves out?

SPEAKER_02 37:59

Yeah, that's that's a great question. So the the tagline for my business is taking action to get more from life. And I had someone say to me, they're like, Connie, my schedule is already full, like beyond full. Like I'm triple booked for some hours. And now you're saying take action. I don't have any time. And I get it. And going back to what you were saying, busy work versus aligned work. What is more important to you as my client or me as Connie? And this might sound harsh, but some people like the overwhelm. It gives them a little drama. It can make you feel important. Look at me, I'm demanding all of this sort of stuff, and I'm working all these late hours, and I came in early and I worked on the weekend. And what's your quality of life? How's your sleep? Did you get some fresh air? And I think in my second half, the little sassy part of being nine years old is everything that I do for others is extra. I've got to take care of me.

SPEAKER_01 39:22

Yes.

SPEAKER_02 39:23

And, you know, the corporate world will keep pushing and pushing and pushing. Even the external world as an entrepreneur, gotta post on Facebook, gotta post on LinkedIn, gotta be on Instagram, gotta do this. And like, who says gotta? You gotta do this.

SPEAKER_01 39:38

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 39:38

If I listen to the world, I could be drowning.

SPEAKER_01 39:42

Yes.

SPEAKER_02 39:42

But it's like, what does Connie say she wants to do so that she can best present her best self to the world?

SPEAKER_01 39:51

Yeah, great.

SPEAKER_02 39:52

So overwhelm again, is I hate to say it, it's a choice. Yeah, we do it to ourselves. Yep. Yeah, yeah. It's hard to set boundaries though. And you know, that's a whole nother thing. And it's tough. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 40:06

And and and and sometimes you don't realize what you're doing until all of a sudden you're like, Oh, I can't answer my phone anymore, or oh, I can't get out of bed, or oh, right. And then all of a sudden it's like, oh, what have I done?

SPEAKER_02 40:23

Yeah, that cosmic two by four of physically overwhelm. I've I've been there three days in bed with a headache, wouldn't go away.

unknown 40:31

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 40:31

I just pushed and pushed and pushed, and my body finally said, okay, you're not listening, you're done.

SPEAKER_01 40:36

Yes, yeah, exactly. Yeah, yeah. Well, I want everyone to know that we are going to have Connie's contact information in the show notes. So if you would like to reach out to her, explore, snoop around, see what she's all about, we'll have some information there that you'll be able to go ahead and reach her. Uh,

Daily Walk Reset And Farewell

SPEAKER_01 40:55

Connie, I wanted to ask you what is one small daily choice that people someone can do to help create a more fulfilling life for themselves.

SPEAKER_02 41:11

I'm gonna share the one thing that I do every day that has really brought joy and wonder into my life. And it's a daily walk. Sometimes it's 15 minutes, sometimes it's 10, sometimes it's I just go outside long enough so it's a short walk. No phone, no earbuds, and just be the two or three-year-old, watch the trees, listen to the birds, feel the grass, hear the crunch of the gravel if you're on a gravel road. Just and then it's just wow and wonder. When I first started doing this, just a little side note, I would notice that this tree is fully leafed, and this one little section would be blowing or moving, and all around it was it. And I'd be like, How can just this little part be moving and the rest of it's not? And my husband's like, Well, the current of the winds hit the fence and went, no, no, no, no, no, no. It was a rhetorical question.

unknown 42:19

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 42:21

I was just like, Wow, that's really cool. Yeah, and yeah, so that that I think is it's simple, it's easy. Everybody has access to it. Watch your cat play, watch your child play, watch something. If you go outside and get a little fresh air and some sunshine, that makes it even better. The simple things in life. Exactly. Yeah, 100%.

SPEAKER_01 42:44

Yeah. Well, Connie, I hate to end our conversation, but we're just about out of time. Thank you so much. You've given me some new tips, and I'm sure the people that are watching have gotten a lot out of this. And yeah, you know, we we we have to remember, especially if we're if we're older, we're over 50, we're reinventing ourselves, going on to that next career or whatever we're doing, that we have a lot of wisdom. Even if you're the the and there's nothing wrong with being a stay-at-home mom, but even if you are the stay-at-home mom and you think all I did is stay home and take care of my kids, you have so many life lessons that you can share with other moms and and other women around the world. So we all have our gifts, and it's just so important to know that that we're worth something. We're worth a lot.

SPEAKER_02 43:39

And we got a lot of people. Very much so. I have thoroughly enjoyed this conversation. Like I said, you are an excellent podcast. Your questions were amazing.

SPEAKER_01 43:47

Oh, thank you, Connie. I appreciate that so much. Well, I do my research because I want to make sure that everybody gets value. And I get my I get free coaching from all of you. So this is good. Excellent. This is good, yeah. Well, thanks again, Connie. I appreciate you being here. And everyone, thank you as well for being on this episode of Women Like Me Stories and Business. And we will see you all again next time. Take care, everybody. Bye bye. Bye.